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This bothers me regardless from which angle I view it


Liz CA
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Public - or semi-public pictures on FB of a recent engagement party. We attended a niece's party and there was a professional photographer taking pictures while walking around. Aside from nice group pictures where the faces are not as huge as the screen, she took several close-ups of people - and obviously posted it as a packaged album on FB.

 

So...on one hand it's nice that dh could click on it and we have lovely pictures of the beautiful couple, group pics, etc, but there are also close ups of various people including us. Do you all just accept that your face will be on FB with or without your permission? If you don't feel like you want your pic taken, do you not go to the festivities???

 

I realize we are not in the nineties anymore...none of the pics taken of us are outright "terrible" even though she caught dh in a rather funny expression as he is talking with someone...this whole lack of privacy just bothers me no matter how I view it.

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I think it is a violation of our privacy, absolutely.

 

Unfortunately, in this crazy age, everything is public.

 

I turn away when I see people are taking photos.  I slip away, or turn 

away.  I don't want my photo public.  

 

It would bother me.  It would bother me even more if DS's pic was on FB.

 

We don't do FB or look at it unless it's a business and I need info.

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How do you do that?

 

Click on the little padlock icon in the top right corner

 

Under Timeline and Tagging settings you can set "review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your timeline" to on

 

Underneath that there's a "who can see the posts you've been tagged in on your timeline" - set it to Only Me

 

Basically I set that whole section to only me. :-) I do let friends post on my timeline though.

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I would not really object if only family could view these pics. In the past when pics were taken and developed, they were usually still made available as prints to others. However, in this case there were more than 100 people present. If 90% (or more) are FB users all their collective thousands of friends have access as well. Things just tend to mushroom a bit...

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Thank you, Amanda. You said it better than me :). 

 

Click on the little padlock icon in the top right corner

 

Under Timeline and Tagging settings you can set "review posts friends tag you in before they appear on your timeline" to on

 

Underneath that there's a "who can see the posts you've been tagged in on your timeline" - set it to Only Me

 

Basically I set that whole section to only me. :-) I do let friends post on my timeline though.

 

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I think I'd rather see pictures of me on Facebook than have them printed in someone's personal wedding album. It freaks me out more that my pictures are in printed yearbooks in old classmates' houses than the fact that they could find my Facebook photos. I'm weird like that though, more comfortable around the general public and far more private around family and friends.

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I'll add I no longer have Facebook (since many years).  I'd come across family members posting pictures I would not want posted.  I had other issues there.  The whole Facebook in general is an invasion of my privacy.  It snoops through your computer.  It tracks what you talk about.  It tracks what sorts of things you look up.  People posting your pictures aside, there isn't much private about Facebook to begin with.

 

This is exactly why I never was a fan of it and never opened an account. Dh did open one because this is how he stays in touch with his four brothers and extended family.

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Even with a professional photographer I do not understand why people post every.single.picture. from an event!

 

I've seen stuff like:

five shots of the same person...eyes closed, wasn't ready, a good shot, one more just in case etc...

Random shots of the room with a bunch of backsides...

Photos that caught people mid sentence with an odd look...

 

Just pick a few good pictures!

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I have to approve every tag. But those pictures are still out there, I am just not tagged in them.  While FB is the application we most discuss regarding this, there are many more applications out there that photos are being loaded on and available for possible public viewing. While it is a privacy issue, I am not sure what would be done about it unless we just shut down the internet.

 

For me, I try to gain permission before posting someone elses photo. I try not to post bad or embarassing photos without permission. And I have FB settings to approve any tags of me.

 

I think you can notify FB of a photo of you someone posted without permission, I'm not sure what they do about it.

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I think is it wrong to post pics of another person without permission. Some of us have weird people from our past that need to not be finding us. What about people who are hiding from violent SOs and are trying to start a new life? Are they no longer allowed to attend an event because other people just post pics without asking? 

 

I do not have facebook, if I did and I wanted to post a pic with other people in it, I would ask all the people in the picture for permission before posting it.

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I think you can notify FB of a photo of you someone posted without permission, I'm not sure what they do about it.

 

Only if it's abusive or violates Facebook's Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. From Facebook:

 

Even well-meaning friends sometimes tag you in photos that are unflattering or that you'd rather not share. If youĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re not happy with a photo youĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re tagged in, you can remove the tag.

Facebook canĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t make people remove photos that donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t violate our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. 

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I don't mind my picture showing up, but I prefer that it doesn't. At least when I'm tagged I am alerted to the picture. Just because someone doesn't have a Facebook account doesn't mean people won't post pictures of them. It does bother me when pictures of my children are posted publicly.

 

The father of an acquaintance is a semi- professional photographer. He frequently shows up to Christmas programs or birthday parties, takes a bunch of photos of his grandkids plus all the other kids, then posts them on his business page. I think he thinks he is providing a service, but I don't want my kids used as free advertising. I'm not going to ask him to remove a group shot of the entire party or something, it's the close ups of my kids with their names that I take issue with. It's also how easily images are shared. When we had to print hard copies it was a handful of people seeing pictures not hundreds.

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I think is it wrong to post pics of another person without permission. Some of us have weird people from our past that need to not be finding us. What about people who are hiding from violent SOs and are trying to start a new life? Are they no longer allowed to attend an event because other people just post pics without asking? 

 

I do not have facebook, if I did and I wanted to post a pic with other people in it, I would ask all the people in the picture for permission before posting it.

 

Exactly my thoughts. I am involved with an organization that aids law enforcement. Trying to be vague here...aside from the fact that I just don't relish the thought of having my mug plastered anywhere public, I don't think it's a good idea to be so visible.

 

I have contacted the photographer and she has taken all close ups of me off the album. She was very nice and did it right away. Group pics where just a small face is showing is okay and I decided she could leave those up there. Thanks to those well versed in FB software, I have (I think) changed the setting to "no tagging without permission" on dh's page.

 

Whew. I feel a little better now.

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I'll add I no longer have Facebook (since many years).  I'd come across family members posting pictures I would not want posted.  I had other issues there.  The whole Facebook in general is an invasion of my privacy.  It snoops through your computer.  It tracks what you talk about.  It tracks what sorts of things you look up.  People posting your pictures aside, there isn't much private about Facebook to begin with.

This is why I hesitated to get a FB for years, and just only got one.  They. track. every. thing.

 

 

 

 

Yeah I recently discovered that a local homeschool message board posts most activities via a Facebook page and not the Yahoo group.  I am very bummed because I don't want to open an account. 

 

The first time I tried it I was freaked out by the amount of information it apparently knew about me just by giving them a tiny bit of info.  They go through your e-mail and the e-mail of those in your e-mail and on and on.  They must of known what sorts of things I searched for because it started advertising to me about stuff related to stuff I'd look up.  THEN I started having issues of people getting mad at me because my "friend" said something that offended them.  And I didn't even know the person who said it!  Never talked to that person in my life. 

 

I gave up on it.  Just yuck. 

FB also makes up likes.  I cannot remember the correct term, but essentially it "likes" things similar to what you normally like.  We have a friend's site that said he liked a particular brand of beer, except he didn't.  He doesn't even drink.  It doesn't show up in your feed just your friend's feeds.  So he didn't even know it was out there until someone kidded him about it.

 

 

 

 

I think is it wrong to post pics of another person without permission. Some of us have weird people from our past that need to not be finding us. What about people who are hiding from violent SOs and are trying to start a new life? Are they no longer allowed to attend an event because other people just post pics without asking? 

 

I do not have facebook, if I did and I wanted to post a pic with other people in it, I would ask all the people in the picture for permission before posting it.

 

This.^  Sometimes those weird people are family.

 

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This is absolutely normal and I don't think it would register as rude for the vast majority of people I know. I know a few people object. But it is not socially a rude intrusion or inappropriate. It's 'the new normal'. Sorry.

 

It is NOT wrong at all to untag yourself or to ask a photo be removed. But the idea that a photo of you and a rather public celebration should be hidden from Facebook is a kind of foreign concept, to me and to a lot of people.

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I feel so sorry for the generation growing up now, in which it's perfectly normal to post pictures all day long. I've seen the Facebook and Instagram feeds for my 18/22 YO cousins and it's nonstop. They feel so much pressure to look perfect all the time. They're constantly exposed to everyone. 

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I feel so sorry for the generation growing up now, in which it's perfectly normal to post pictures all day long. I've seen the Facebook and Instagram feeds for my 18/22 YO cousins and it's nonstop. They feel so much pressure to look perfect all the time. They're constantly exposed to everyone.

I don't really think it was that different before. The eating disorder statistics in my college were staggering to me.

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I don't like it. I think that if you are going to make a photo of someone public, you have to ask permission to do so. The photographer was contracted to take pictures of the event, but they weren't contracted to publish photos of guests. Most of the photographers around here do not put anything on their facebook page that they do not have a signed release for so when you see engagement photos, it is of the happy couple. When you see wedding photos, it's the couple or the couple and the bridal party and the bridal party was asked to sign a release as part of the agreement. The guests are not put on public sites.

 

It's become so prolific that whenever I catch someone taking my photo and I have not signed a release and this is not some dear, dear relative, I deliberately turn away, scowl or move something in front of my face. When I sign a release or when someone asks nicely, "Can I take your picture?" then I cooperate. For the rocket team, we sign image release forms for both 4-H and TARC. I know ahead of time that my image will be out there in that capacity. I don't mind. I am their assistant mentor and a 4-H leader. But, again, the image is out there for those specific purposes and not for sharing. Both NAR/TARC and 4-H are very careful about how the images are used and except for winning teams, often there are no captions...no one knows who you are in the photo.

 

I think we've had a terrible loss of privacy. Photos in photo albums are not seen by the public at large. They can't be downloaded and used for nefarious purposes. Copy and paste is NOT your friend. Linking and tagging is not your friend.

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It doesn't bother me. Photos are ubiquitous now. I'm just glad nobody's waiting to see if my flowy skirt will billow up so they can slap it on-line.

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I feel so sorry for the generation growing up now, in which it's perfectly normal to post pictures all day long. I've seen the Facebook and Instagram feeds for my 18/22 YO cousins and it's nonstop. They feel so much pressure to look perfect all the time. They're constantly exposed to everyone.

Ha! I don't think that is true, given the number of times I have seen unflattering photos posted. Who says you have to look perfect all the time, just because a photo is likely to be posted?

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This.^  Sometimes those weird people are family.

 

Yep...that is what it is in my family.  They will know my face! I try very hard to not be photographed with my children in public because at least they would remain annon. if my face is not linked with theirs (the family member has never seen my children).

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As someone else mentioned, it's really not different from the old days of passing around printed photos, except in terms of scale. (More people may potentially see the photo in a shorter amount of time.) But the fact is that, since the advent of photography, anyone with a camera could take as many pictures of party guests as he or she chose, make as many prints of each photo as he or she chose and give the prints to anyone he or she chose. 

 

It was more cumbersome and more expensive, but any photo of any person could be passed along through many hands, seen by any number of people not known to the subject of the photograph, completely without that person's knowledge. One has never had any control of that sort of thing.

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I am seriously peeved when people post my pics on Facebook.  I don't have a Facebook account, I don't want one, and I don't want my pictures there.  If someone takes my pic, I tell them clearly I do not want it on Facebook.  Mostly, the request has been honored, but if it hadn't been, I would not allow my pic to be taken.

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Jenny--I agree with you, but when you are far away (like a state or two) the chances of others finding you was much less back then. The other thing is that in a photograph by itself it may be hard to place your whereabouts. They may know you from the photo, but still be ignorant about your location. On facebook so much more information is handed with the photo. It is much easier to find a face and then trace it to where it lives. That is much scarier than it used to be for those of us who are trying not to be found.

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Jenny--I agree with you, but when you are far away (like a state or two) the chances of others finding you was much less back then. The other thing is that in a photograph by itself it may be hard to place your whereabouts. They may know you from the photo, but still be ignorant about your location. On facebook so much more information is handed with the photo. It is much easier to find a face and then trace it to where it lives. That is much scarier than it used to be for those of us who are trying not to be found.

 

Oh, I understand that it can be problematic. I have a weird family situation, too. 

 

However, as others have explained, it's possible to set Facebook controls that require you to approve of any tags or identification of any photo that includes you. So, in theory someone could post a photo of you without your knowledge or permission, but it would not have your name attached, thus making it fairly unlikely anyone you don't want to find you would stumble across the photo, recognize you and determine where the photo was taken.

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Actually it is surprisingly easy. All they have to know is some people you still communicate (other family members) with who may know your whereabouts and are not very careful themselves. I have these type of people in spades in my family, ironically they are also the ones who post pics of my family on facebook without asking.

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I don't like it when people post pictures of me without my permission, but it's all about vanity, not privacy.  If I'm not tagged in the photo and the people looking at the pictures don't know me anyway, then what's the difference?  (I, too, have a setting that disallows tagging without my approval).

 

My problem is when someone takes a picture of me looking like an ugly cow, at the very worst moment in time they could have snapped it, and thinks it's ok to post.  I would never post an incredibly unflattering picture of another person.  It aggravates me when others do.  

 

 

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Actually it is surprisingly easy. All they have to know is some people you still communicate (other family members) with who may know your whereabouts and are not very careful themselves. I have these type of people in spades in my family, ironically they are also the ones who post pics of my family on facebook without asking.

 

I'm sorry. As I said, I have a complicated family situation, too, and I know it can be difficult. The thing is that these same people could have been equally not careful back in the days of printing photos. We used to routinely get double prints of all of our pictures and send a full set to my in-laws, who showed them to all of their friends. Even if those folks with whom you are communicating had to develop and print copies of those photos, you would still have no control over where the copies were sent and who saw them.

 

I really do understand that it's scary and frustrating. I'm not in any way trying to diminish that concern. I'm just saying it's not really "different" from the pre-Facebook era.

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Jenny- I get that you understand and all...and I am really not trying to be an argumentative pill  :). But in my situation, these more carefree family members have absolutely no contact with the weird person, nor do they have contact with anyone that has contact with weirdo. In pre-facebook days if weirdo tried to get info from carefree members or extensions of the carefree members that may have pic copies they would have been shunned and given nothing. However, now with facebook, all you have to have is a name of a carefree person who posts what they like publicly without thinking of the ramifications for those in the pic. Then weirdo haunts their facebook pages for that perfect time when the planets just happen to align and whamo....they know where you live. It is really not that far fetched.

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Um, how do you do this if you don't even have a facebook page.  I wonder if I would be tagged and how I would know...

 

Well, you can't adjust the settings if you don't have an account, unfortunately. In that case, I suppose you have to rely on the goodwill and good sense of the friends who take and post the photos. 

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So you have to join facebook and lose privacy (as it searches through all your stuff) so you can try to gain privacy by changing settings so others will not link your face. LOL...lovely.

 

And the problem is people can be nice and caring people that lack good sense and post stuff about your family thinking that only people who are in our immediate circle will care to see it, not thinking about the fact that it is PUBLIC in a very big sense. 

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Jenny- I get that you understand and all...and I am really not trying to be an argumentative pill  :). But in my situation, these more carefree family members have absolutely no contact with the weird person, nor do they have contact with anyone that has contact with weirdo. In pre-facebook days if weirdo tried to get info from carefree members or extensions of the carefree members that may have pic copies they would have been shunned and given nothing. However, now with facebook, all you have to have is a name of a carefree person who posts what they like publicly without thinking of the ramifications for those in the pic. Then weirdo haunts their facebook pages for that perfect time when the planets just happen to align and whamo....they know where you live. It is really not that far fetched.

 

That's rough, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that kind of situation. If it were me, I would either approach the person who is posting carelessly and explain why I would like him/her to stop or I would limit my communication with that person.

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If only it were that easy *sigh* these are close family members who are in no way related to weirdo. They just DONT get it. I try but they dont. They are a tad naive and it is like talking to a brick wall. :banghead:  In every other aspect they are lovely people and as I said very close, so cutting them out is not an option, but I wish I could get them to understand. Fortunately I have another family member that is related to both wierdo and the clueless and they let me know when clueless has posted something I should request removed (I dont have facebook).

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I think the point is that we don't know.  I mean how do you know people are taking pictures o you???  We don't always know.  They may be across the room and you THINK they are taking pictures of someone else.  Or maybe you are caught up in conversation and you don't notice the casual picture.  I think her post was a what if kind of post.

 

 

 

If only it was all "what ifs" unfortunately for me it is not! I am really trying to protect my kids and people who love me compromise this by being naive and clueless about the internet and how easy it is to get information. 

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MMM.. so if I google images will I see if I have any images out there.  Right now my name isn't on the internet at all.. ( well, other people with my name are, but not me)

 

Surprisingly, despite the fact that I am active here and have Facebook and various other things online, when I do a Google image search, the only things that pop up are a couple of photos of my dog. I am reasonably careful about privacy, but don't put a whole lot of effort into it. (My kids are both performers who have had their names and pictures in the newspaper and online a number of times over the years. If all goes well for them, are likely to be public figures as adults. There is a limit to how much anonymity I can anticipate.) 

 

I guess I'm just not terribly interesting.

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I understand not wanting photos of yourself or your family posted on FB or elsewhere without your permission, but I think the horses have left the barn and are galloping away fast.

 

Anyway, photos of famous people have been published in newspapers and magazines for many decades without permussion. I guess now we know how they feel, sort of.

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My mother had never seen my 3 children, in theory she doesn't know the later two exist. she also doesn't know about her mothers cancer diagnosis, which is how grandma wants to keep it. Mum has had no good contact with anyone in the family in years

 

In the days of hard copy pictures, no one would send her any because she is barely talking to two of my siblings, and not speaking at all to the rest of us. We have no mutual friends so the chances of her seeing a pic are slim to none.

 

But in our digital age, my two siblings attempts to contact her mean she is on their facebook friends lists. Their talk with the sibling still living with mum means she is on their facebook also, and just to add to the complication, one of my brothers in law decided to become best buds with my sibling still living with mum (who also does not speak to me btw) and sees no issue with this... sigh.

 

I have managed to keep photos off of my families accounts by convincing them I'm a paranoid loony with some weird quirks. I have no idea what BIL is posting though. And other family who don't have mum as a friend still have public pages so mum can see photos on then as well. It wouldn't be hard for mum to visit the pages of some of my siblings 'friends' until she found one who has a public page, something that was impossible in the eta of hard copies

 

So I'm sorry, but as far as I'm concerned the privacy issue is VERY different to what it was 15 years ago, my situation wouldn't exist back then

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I think the point is that we don't know. I mean how do you know people are taking pictures o you??? We don't always know. They may be across the room and you THINK they are taking pictures of someone else. Or maybe you are caught up in conversation and you don't notice the casual picture. I think her post was a what if kind of post.

 

I googled myself and didn't see any images that were me.

I don't think anyone should have the expectation of privacy while out in public.

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But see, isn't that wrong??? Why do my pictures get to be put anywhere???

Because that is just the way it is. It's really that simple. All of the possible solutions I can think of to your perceived problem are either unenforceable or onerous. What solution do you think there is?

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I don't think anyone should have the expectation of privacy while out in public.

I think this is the case. I was wondering about the legal issues surrounding expectation of privacy. It would seem if a venue is public, it is by definition not private.

I expect in just living and going about my business I am recorded multiple times: banks or ATMs, department store security, convenience stores, gasoline stations, traffic cameras. Most of that is not going to be noticed, but if a reason arose, I assume a picture could be isolated. It would not be tagged as me, but again, if the reason was compelling, I could and would be identified.

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