What do you think of people sending their wedding invitations through evite?

[shanvan]

I rarely use Facebook and have seriously considered deleting my page.  Today I had to rsvp to an evite through my Facebook account and it was a royal pain b/c I didn't know my Facebook password.  Finally got it taken care of.  I don't like that all of the people invited can see my response and it just seems weird.  (We cannot attend.)  I almost wanted to privately email the bride instead, but I thought that might mess them up if they were using evite to keep track of numbers.

[catz]

I think for an informal affair, why not.  That said, responding directly via e-mail would be fine too IMO.  I didn't think you needed to tie your facebook account and an Evite account?  I don't have mine tied to my FB.  I think it is possible to make a more anonymous looking account on Evite.

[shanvan]

I think for an informal affair, why not.  That said, responding directly via e-mail would be fine too IMO.  I didn't think you needed to tie your facebook account and an Evite account?  I don't have mine tied to my FB.  I think it is possible to make a more anonymous looking account on Evite.

I think you are correct, but I would have had to open an evite account?  I don't know.  It's done now, so it doesn't matter.  I suppose this is just the modern way to do things.  It just seemed weird.  

[gardenmom5]

tacky.  even my computer geeky children would use paper and snail mail.

 

eta: for an informal party - fine. for something formal - act like a grown-up.

[Wilma]

For a wedding!?  Tacky.  Seriously.

 

For a get-together?  Totally cool.  Bowling?  Cool.  A baby shower?  Okaaaay.

But a wedding!?  Tacky.

[Ellie]

I rarely use Facebook and have seriously considered deleting my page.  Today I had to rsvp to an evite through my Facebook account and it was a royal pain b/c I didn't know my Facebook password.  Finally got it taken care of.  I don't like that all of the people invited can see my response and it just seems weird.  (We cannot attend.)  I almost wanted to privately email the bride instead, but I thought that might mess them up if they were using evite to keep track of numbers.

 

I'm going to be an old fogey and say that no, wedding invitations should be mailed. Responses should be mailed, too, but I'm probably alone in feeling that way.

 

A wedding is a joyous, important occasion. It should be taken more seriously than an invite to a backyard cook-out, KWIM?

[EndOfOrdinary]

I'm too traditional to do that.  What we have done, is to set up a wedding website where people can RSVP, ask questions, show an online registry, and all the other various stuff which can sometimes be tedious.  The invites were paper, though I did check a few addresses by sending messages through Facebook.

[redsquirrel]

It makes perfect sense to me. It saves on resources and money in a big way. Wedding invitations are quite expensive for something you just toss out when it is over. I don't think it is tacky at all and is a very sensible thing to do.

 

What does it matter if the invitation is on paper or not? For those who say they are traditionalists, that is fine, but to judge others as 'tacky' for wanting to save money and paper and fuel, seems harsh. How often are there threads here about how over the top wedding expenses are, or how much is wasted? Well, this is one way to address that.

[marbel]

I don't mind it, really.   I'm less likely to lose an evite out of my inbox than a piece of paper that came in the mail.   I also prefer responding online to filling out a card and remembering to put it in the mail. 

 

Evite does not require any sort of login to respond.   (I used it a lot for inviting people to events at church.  I would get even fewer responses than I get if people had to login.

 

The most recent invitation I received was a nice traditional card invitation, but it really annoyed me because it included gift registry information.  Now that is tacky!   

 

 

[shanvan]

I don't mind it, really.   I'm less likely to lose an evite out of my inbox than a piece of paper that came in the mail.   I also prefer responding online to filling out a card and remembering to put it in the mail. 

 

Evite does not require any sort of login to respond.   (I used it a lot for inviting people to events at church.  I would get even fewer responses than I get if people had to login.

 

The most recent invitation I received was a nice traditional card invitation, but it really annoyed me because it included gift registry information.  Now that is tacky!   

I must have done something wrong then, b/c I tried responding without any log in and I wasn't able to.  Shows how behind the times I am, I guess.  I don't think I have ever used evite before.

[Slartibartfast]

It wouldn't bother me.

[Mergath]

My knee-jerk reaction is that it's tacky, but after thinking about it, it's environmentally friendly, cheaper, and probably makes life easier for the couple in question. So I'd have no problem with it.

[vonfirmath]

I don't mind it, really.   I'm less likely to lose an evite out of my inbox than a piece of paper that came in the mail.   I also prefer responding online to filling out a card and remembering to put it in the mail. 

 

Evite does not require any sort of login to respond.   (I used it a lot for inviting people to events at church.  I would get even fewer responses than I get if people had to login.

 

The most recent invitation I received was a nice traditional card invitation, but it really annoyed me because it included gift registry information.  Now that is tacky!   

 

Agreed. I've never had to login to evite to respond.

[regentrude]

Electronic invitations are environmentally friendly, faster, cheaper, and it is easier to manage the responses.

I don't see why weddings need to be complicated and full of arbitrary rules "because that is how it is done".

Why spend money on fancy pieces of paper that are then thrown away?

[catz]

Saves paper?

 

Doesn't bother me really.

 

:iagree:   Also, printed invites and returns with the postage can get really expensive.  For a black tie, $75 a head event?  No - not cool.  For an informal, laid back wedding, I'd have no issue.

[Ellie]

Saves paper?

 

 

Yeah, sorry, on my list of reasons to do something, saving paper isn't anywhere on it.

[reign]

I wouldn't do it but I wouldn't mind someone inviting me that way. I would totally assume an email or phone call to RSVP would be cool.

[KatieJ]

Probably the wave of the future, but for now, nope.  Buy a stamp and mail it.

 

Ok, let's clarify that.  If you are going to request responses thru email, make it optional, and do not make FACEBOOK a mandatory response avenue.

[Reefgazer]

OK for informal events, but I wouldn't be caught dead sending a wedding evite.

[marbel]

Probably the wave of the future, but for now, nope.  Buy a stamp and mail it.

 

Ok, let's clarify that.  If you are going to request responses thru email, make it optional, and do not make FACEBOOK a mandatory response avenue.

 

I don't want to sound like I'm picking on you, but your response (which is probably not uncommon) makes me wonder.... if it's the wave of the future, when would it be OK?   

 

Evite does not make FACEBOOK a mandatory response avenue.  

 

I can't believe I am defending evite.  I don't really care about evite, though I do find it useful.  :001_smile:

 

[Loowit]

I really don't care either way.  I think that for a formal wedding it would be strange to get an invitation via email, but it wouldn't bother me.  We got a wedding invite via Facebook a few months ago, but it is an informal wedding at a local state park and costumes (medieval) are optional.

[KatieJ]

I don't want to sound like I'm picking on you, but your response (which is probably not uncommon) makes me wonder.... if it's the wave of the future, when would it be OK?   

 

Evite does not make FACEBOOK a mandatory response avenue.  

 

I can't believe I am defending evite.  I don't really care about evite, though I do find it useful.  :001_smile:

 

 

Probably when Ellie and I have passed on and the next generation is in charge of life.   :laugh:

[marbel]

Probably when Ellie and I have passed on and the next generation is in charge of life.   :laugh:

 

LOL.  That struck me so funny.

 

I am in the older generation now (58).  Recently I have been trying to step down from the women's committee at church to let the younger women take over.  When we plan events I am always asking "am I thinking like an old lady?"  (Actually I am pretty sure I don't, because the women my age seem so much older than me.)   I am SO READY for the  younger generation to take charge.   At least for things like planning baby showers and setting the rules for invitations.  :D 

[momto10blessings]

Meh. It would strike me as odd, but whatever. It's their wedding. I would think they'd do it some other way than to have to sign into facebook. I've had evites before and didn't have to sign into anything.

[KatieJ]

LOL.  That struck me so funny.

 

I am in the older generation now (58).  Recently I have been trying to step down from the women's committee at church to let the younger women take over.  When we plan events I am always asking "am I thinking like an old lady?"  (Actually I am pretty sure I don't, because the women my age seem so much older than me.)   I am SO READY for the  younger generation to take charge.   At least for things like planning baby showers and setting the rules for invitations.  :D

 

 

We share a birthday year amongst other things! 

Yes, I am more than ready for the youngers to step up and take over with the planning and such.  And I realize that sounds contradictory since I clearly am not a fan of email responses for weddings and I guess that shows my age.

However, part of my bias is that many many folks are not computer savy, don't have FB, and having to RSVP to a wedding by email may induce stress they don't need in their life.  So when we pass on, the next gen can do what they like.  I won't be here to care. 

[momto10blessings]

I'm less likely to lose an evite out of my inbox than a piece of paper that came in the mail. I also prefer responding online to filling out a card and remembering to put it in the mail.

 

So true. Several times I've lost or forgotten about the response card and ended up getting a call or email from the bride or mother of the bride... Quite embarrassing!

[redsquirrel]

Yeah I don't know if I'm hip enough to do it, but so many things are communicated that way that..really what is the big deal. 

 

I wonder if people were horrified to get stuff via snail mail verses face to face..."back in the day".

 

My MIL got the vapors that I didn't purchase engraved invitations for my wedding. I bought the cheapest one, the kind that is just a white card, nothing fancy.

 

I don't even have one knocking around the house, so an evite would have been just fine.

 

For at least 10 years, and prob more, couples have had 'wedding websites' etc, so I don't really see this as a huge change.

 

And as near as I can tell, we won't have a postal system in 30 years so only the very rich will be able to afford to send invitations through the privatized mail system. When that happens, mailed invitations will become fashionable again as a way to denote status.

[shanvan]

Meh. It would strike me as odd, but whatever. It's their wedding. I would think they'd do it some other way than to have to sign into facebook. I've had evites before and didn't have to sign into anything.

The signing in to Facebook was my own fault b/c I didn't realize it could be done another way.  (Showing my age here  :blushing: ) I'm still not sure what I think of it.  The evite page was very public.  In fact I looked at what others who were declining wrote in order to decide what words I would use to answer.  

 

It's also a little weird to me that you can see who is going and who isn't.  It would be great to be able to know ahead of time that you don't hit it off with the people attending an event, or if you don't know anyone who is attending.  Not so great if people don't go b/c they see you are attending.   What am I saying?  Adults are too mature for all that, right? :tongue_smilie: 

[Mrs Mungo]

*I* wouldn't do it, but it wouldn't bother me for someone else to do it.

[marbel]

When I use evite it's for a "public" event (church thing) so I like having all the responses visible.  I think in that context it generates more interest if people are going and talking about it. at least, that's how it looks to me.   If I was doing it for a private party, I would probably turn that feature off. 

[Ellie]

 

However, part of my bias is that many many folks are not computer savy, don't have FB, and having to RSVP to a wedding by email may induce stress they don't need in their life. 

 

:iagree:

[JFSinIL]

For a wedding invitation? Seriously?  If they seriously want me to attend, they seriously need to stick to traditional snailmail. 

[redsquirrel]

The signing in to Facebook was my own fault b/c I didn't realize it could be done another way.  (Showing my age here  :blushing: ) I'm still not sure what I think of it.  The evite page was very public.  In fact I looked at what others who were declining wrote in order to decide what words I would use to answer.  

 

It's also a little weird to me that you can see who is going and who isn't.  It would be great to be able to know ahead of time that you don't hit it off with the people attending an event, or if you don't know anyone who is attending.  Not so great if people don't go b/c they see you are attending.   What am I saying?  Adults are too mature for all that, right? :tongue_smilie: 

 

I don't even have a facebook page and I use evite all the time.

 

I do agree with you that being able to see who else is attending is weird. I always chose to keep that visible only to me, the creator of the invitation. However, I am the only person I know who does that. When I mention it to other people they say they never even thought about it.

[shanvan]

I don't even have a facebook page and I use evite all the time.

 

Somehow I got prompted to sign in to Facebook.  A window popped up and I think I had a choice of signing in to Facebook or creating an evite account.  I can't remember and I was all about getting it done and getting back to other things.  It's been years since I used evite (last time was the last tupperware or pampered chef party I was evited to.  I don't even respond to those anymore.  My friends know I won't attend.)

 

I approach unfamiliar computer stuff by clicking until I get what I want.  Sometimes it works out fine.  Today I wanted to get that stinking rsvp done, and I signed in to Facebook unnecessarily.  I don't really care.  I'm just glad to cross the rsvp off my list.

 

​I realize now, there had to be a way to respond w/o Facebook.  I just didn't realize it at the time and wanted it done.

 

[Trish]

Eh, that they don't care whether I come?

 

I may have missed a few if that's how people are doing wedding invitations!

 

[redsquirrel]

Somehow I got prompted to sign in to Facebook.  A window popped up and I think I had a choice of signing in to Facebook or creating an evite account.  I can't remember and I was all about getting it done and getting back to other things.  It's been years since I used evite (last time was the last tupperware or pampered chef party I was evited to.  I don't even respond to those anymore.  My friends know I won't attend.)

 

I approach unfamiliar computer stuff by clicking until I get what I want.  Sometimes it works out fine.  Today I wanted to get that stinking rsvp done, and I signed in to Facebook unnecessarily.  I don't really care.  I'm just glad to cross the rsvp off my list.

 

​I realize now, there had to be a way to respond w/o Facebook.  I just didn't realize it at the time and wanted it done.

 

 

Lol.  I approach it by doing anything I have to do (or not do) that will let me avoid Facebook. So far, so good.

 

And, if I had a facebook account, I might prefer to use that rather than go through the hassle of opening a new account for evite. I must have opened an evite account a long time ago, and I am sure I grumbled about it.

 

[TXBeth]

For a wedding invitation? Seriously? If they seriously want me to attend, they seriously need to stick to traditional snailmail.

We mailed our invitations, but....

I probably wouldn't want someone to come to my wedding if they care so little about me that the wrong type of invitation would be enough to cause them to avoid the event.

[abba12]

DH and I actually missed a 21st party, and DH missed attending a friends bucks night, both because the invites were only on facebook and he doesn't check it regularly or look at the 'events' page.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

It's the digital age, everything is online. No surprise this is changing too.

 

Sure I like traditional invitations better, but things change. And that is okay.

[Arcadia]

I'm so used to getting asked by a telephone call for weddings before the formal invite comes by mail that I won't mind an evite.

I get evites through my email though and not through Facebook so I just click on the evite link to reply.

[Guest submarines]

Saves paper?

 

Doesn't bother me really.

:iagree:  Saves paper. Sends automatic reminders. Brilliant.

[Farrar]

My gut reaction is negative, but I think I should probably just get over that.  It's clearly the wave of the future.

 

Sigh.  Now I'll *never* have a chance to use my calligraphy skills to help others.

[Liz CA]

I think you are correct, but I would have had to open an evite account?  I don't know.  It's done now, so it doesn't matter.  I suppose this is just the modern way to do things.  It just seemed weird.  

 

Since I don't have a FB account, I had to open an evite account in order to RSVP to our niece's engagement party.

 

[LucyStoner]

Their wedding, their choice. I don't see why I need to judge people for saving on paper or printing or stamps. I would assume that it is a pretty casual affair, and that is their perogative, isn't it?

 

It's 2014. The US Postal Service is all but a relic. Many people operate their whole social calendars via text and social media. I set up three social things and one babysitting trade yesterday via text. Things change. Get.over.it. There is no reason invites must be calligraphy or engraving on fancy paper simply because the event is a wedding.

 

-signed, the woman whose wedding invites were all done in calligraphy by the hand of the awesome groom.

[MrsBasil]

Seems like a frugal, less wasteful, and easier way to track attending/decline to me.

 

It wouldn't bother me at all if I got an evite for a wedding.

[Seasider]

Depends. If I received an email invitation and attended an event where obviously thousands were spent on dresses, flowers, food, venue, etc, I'd think it tacky. If the event was low key, casual, hosts economizing out of necessity, I'd think less of it. Personally, I could never do an evite for a wedding.

 

Now if they send you an electronic thank you note....

[marbel]

Depends. If I received an email invitation and attended an event where obviously thousands were spent on dresses, flowers, food, venue, etc, I'd think it tacky. If the event was low key, casual, hosts economizing out of necessity, I'd think less of it. Personally, I could never do an evite for a wedding.

 

Now if they send you an electronic thank you note....

 

I am thrilled to receive any kind of thank you note.  It is so rare.

 

People should  never put someone in the position of asking "did you receive the gift we sent?"  I always send the gift rather than bring it to the wedding (this is what I have been taught is proper etiquette) but maybe I should stop because if I took it to the wedding at least I'd know they received it. 

 

[kewb]

I wouldn't do it, but that is me.  Their wedding, their choice. No skin off my nose either way.  I would just hope it is a fancier evite then normal since the invitation sets the tone for the affair.

[JFSinIL]

We mailed our invitations, but....

I probably wouldn't want someone to come to my wedding if they care so little about me that the wrong type of invitation would be enough to cause them to avoid the event.

 

Snailmail invitation feels like you actually want to invite me to your big event.

Evite implies you hit "send" - perhaps to your whole address book. 

 

Perhaps stick to snailmail for us "oldsters" and use evites and FB for whippersnappers!  ;-)

[marbel]

My knee-jerk reaction is like Mergath.

 

I use the term "evite" incorrectly perhaps. To me "evite" is just a broad term for an electronic invitation, regardless of website. So when I read the thread I thought the invitation was posted ON Facebook and you had to log into Facebook (or send a private email) to respond.

 

I got married during the MySpace age and we did paper invitations. However, to avoid people having to respond via snail mail we left a phone number. Most did not bother to reply, period. But I think that's just how people are. The thing I don't like about the situation mention above is that everyone can see who else got invited. That might bother me.

 

I think my compromise suggestion for digital invitations is to make it look nice! Not just bland text saying You have been invited. Perhaps have a tech savvy friend (if you can't do it yourself) create a banner/sign/postcard looking image with couple's photograph and information.

 

So far the thing that really got me worked up regarding weddings was when I was given a wedding shower invite (snail mail)... but no invitation to the wedding. I later found out this person had a very small wedding (I suspect others got an invite to one and not the other) but I was so torn/annoyed I ended up not responding because I felt weird sending an empty "congrats/best wishes" card or spending money.

 

That's what sites like Evite do.  You choose a template for the type of event and plug in the information.  On some you can add a photo.   It's very simple and the invitations can be very pretty, or cute, or fun.  You can turn off the feature that shows everyone who is coming.  There is really little tech-savviness involved (though I do need my daughter's help in uploading photos because I'm old that way).     It gets emailed; the addressee just clicks on the link in their email, and they can respond. I suppose they probably give an option to create an account because that's how they get advertising dollars.  But an account is not necessary.  invitations can also be printed and mailed, though it's quite costly.  Still, if I was doing an event and knew someone would be mad about getting an electronic invitation, or had no access to email, etc., I might do that.  If I was sending 200 invitations to a wedding, it might still be cheaper to pay $3.00 each for a few to send to grandmas and aunties.    (I am not sure it's $3.00 but I think I remember seeing that amount.)

 

People shouldn't ignore any invitation regardless of the way it's sent!  I am always stunned when I hear of people just ignoring an invitation.