Catwoman Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Yeah, maybe. It's only quite conservative and rigid families here who would describe a teen's self destructive behavior as 'rebellion'. Anyway, lime I said, I know I'm out of step here. It's OK. OK, thanks -- that makes perfect sense to me now. :) The term is used much differently and far more casually here. I had a feeling it was a definitional thing! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juniper Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 The other children in the home seem to support the parents rather than the sister. That speaks volumes to me (and it is more than one additional child). This holds absolutely no weight for me. If those children are minors they are dependent on these parents. It is also possible that this child has been demonized or made into the family scapegoat and they are parroting what they have been raised to believe about her. Again, I really have no idea what the truth is. I do know that what we are privy to is very much the "tip of the iceberg" and there are most likely a lot more layers to this situation. This girl could very well be an entitled brat. It is also possible in my mind that there is alternate explanations. Last week I was actually discussing my own childhood with my therapist. How I hated having to run away, but I didn't know how to keep myself safe from my mother (she wasn't physically abusive with me, but she was mentally and emotionally). I could go no where to escape her rages. Eventually, I ran from the home, many times. My parents told everyone almost verbatim what these parents have. How they missed me, were saddened, how they had been paying for my therapy (not mentioning that would stop every time a therapist said something they didn't like), how I just didn't want to follow the rules and various other things. There wasn't anything I could do that would not reinforce the public image they had painted of me. It is one of the worst feelings of powerlessness. The therapist looked at me and said, "What were you going to do? Go down the street and pay for a room at the Holiday Inn?" In later years, my Mom would progress to physically beating my little sister when she hit adolescence. I did not know about this until I she was an adult. Even now, in the last couple weeks when I have finally cut contact with my mother, my little sister is running to her side and I am once again the family scapegoat. So, it does not surprise me in the least that other children in the house are siding with the parents. I think my only point in all of this isn't that this girl is a victim (I truly do not know) or that her parents are somehow monsters (they very well may not be), but that these things are often deeper, messier, and a lot more complicated than what is portrayed to the public. I do hope that the older teens that have had to endure similar situations as mine eventually develop some sort of legal protections. I also hope she gets NOTHING if she is just being a brat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 So, I guess I'm the only person in this thread who feels sorry for this girl ? Bad choices from an 18 year old don't occur in a vacuum. And if she does, in fact, have a mental illness then she's in a really tough situation. I feel for her. Having read the father quoted as describing her as 'rebellious' got my hackles up. It's a word I only hear certain kinds of parents use. Nope. Quite a few of us have said we feel sorry for all involved and hope the family can get help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Nope. Quite a few of us have said we feel sorry for all involved and hope the family can get help. After thinking about it, I have to say that I feel sorriest for the two sisters. They have done nothing wrong, but they're stuck in the middle of a media circus, with their family's troubles being broadcast all over the place. And I can only imagine how awful it must be for them to go to school each day and hear their classmates say all kinds of things about their parents and their sister. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I do feel sorry for the girl, mentally ill, rebellious, or just plain feeling selfish, she is in a media circus that may prevent her from getting in to a good college, getting a decent job or moving on with her life in many ways. When I was about her age I moved out of my house when I was making poor choices and my parents were not sympathetic to the fact that my poor choices reflected their poor parenting. Fortunately I never expected to get anything from them so I worked a series of dead end jobs before deciding to make a life for myself. I am happy with the life I made for myself, I do not think I could have done it if I had wasted weeks/ month/ years feeling my parents should be writing weekly checks for me. The people she aligned herself with did not allow her the option of taking care of herself, they made her an international news story and who knows what consequences this will have. Many large corporations had secret do not hire lists and her name is now certainly on all of them. Young people are often rebellious and fall back in line when life knocks them back. This poor girl is not getting that chance. I would not be surprised if her parents were on the short side of imperfect. They do seem to love her, but for all we know they are NPD all the way. Either way, the girl is not being helped by the idea that they owe her money. Even if they were awful parents it would be better to cut ties with horrible people than expect money from them. And, Sadie, I am from Portland where many EXTREMELY liberal people turn out to have children who rebel, lol. Sometimes they rebel by being really extra wild, sometimes they rebel by going to church and becoming Evangelical Christians. I have never known rebellion to come from one parenting mindset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 After thinking about it, I have to say that I feel sorriest for the two sisters. They have done nothing wrong, but they're stuck in the middle of a media circus, with their family's troubles being broadcast all over the place. And I can only imagine how awful it must be for them to go to school each day and hear their classmates say all kinds of things about their parents and their sister. :( That would suck. Ugh. Poor sisters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juniper Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I actually find it very interesting that the school has stepped up and volunteer to waive her tuition for this semester and a student body group has offered to raise her tuition for the semester. I think there is quite a bit more going on here. The only ruling the judge gave was in regards to this being an emergency situation. At this point it is not. The girl is safe, her tuition is covered. It will be interesting to see what the actually ruling will be in April. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 The thing with being a brat though - whose fault is that ? Again, just my experience, but brats are made, not born... Brat is a catch-all insult though. Sure, there are a few kids who could use more/better discipline, but I don't think their behavior is persistent or pervasive. It's too often used for people with developmental issues or mental illness, and that's definitely a genetic crapshoot. You have to parent the child you get, and sometimes nurture cannot overcome nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I had a feeling it was a definitional thing! :) :blink: Is that even a word? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I'd call this young woman confused, technically. Brat, yeah, it isn't a big deal word in my world. I call my own kids brats without any malice. I don't really feel sorry for her, because all young people need to figure out the real world and it's hard. Who ever said it was supposed to be easy? She chose the wrong people to trust, oops. Bummer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 According to the girl, she was kicked out and had been abused. According to the school, the church, and several parents, she was being abused. According to the school, she is a model student, and an honor student. The parents, on the other hand, have been separated and back together, on again and off again. They have been trying to cash out her college fund. She only asked that they pay the support that any non-custodial parent would have to legally pay in that state. She is also only asking for part of her college fund. The parents already had a lot of bills and legal bills from their own personal and legal problems they brought on themselves. I do not believe that just because someone is a teen, that they could not be abused and must be a liar. Adults are capable of abuse. And in light of the fact that the school, the church, and the other parents are backing up her story that she was abused, and no one is backing up the parents that they are not abusers, I am going to say she likely was abused and they should pay up. THEY (the parents) enrolled her in that private school of their own free will. THEY entered in to a contract to pay that tuition. THEY were witnessed being abusive and threatening the girl and telling her she was being kicked out. I believe the girl. Just because she is a teen and they are adults does not believe she is a liar. And all abusers blame their victim. ALL abusers claim they never abused their victims. I believe the girl, the church, the ministers, the teachers, and the parents of fellow students who all say she was being abused. Also, the parents stand to profit here. They have their own list of legal issues outside of this, and an on-again-off-again marriage to support...and they are trying to cash out her college fund. I cannot figure out from the many articles who set up this college fund. The articles never seem to mention it, but based on the finances of the family being mentioned and how desperate the family has been to cash out her college fund and use for themselves (not even put it on hold until the girl "behaves" or pass down to the younger girls), something here just is not right. They seem very greedy and desperate to cash that fund out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 According to the girl, she was kicked out and had been abused. According to the school, the church, and several parents, she was being abused. According to the school, she is a model student, and an honor student. The parents, on the other hand, have been separated and back together, on again and off again. They have been trying to cash out her college fund. She only asked that they pay the support that any non-custodial parent would have to legally pay in that state. She is also only asking for part of her college fund. The parents already had a lot of bills and legal bills from their own personal and legal problems they brought on themselves. I do not believe that just because someone is a teen, that they could not be abused and must be a liar. Adults are capable of abuse. And in light of the fact that the school, the church, and the other parents are backing up her story that she was abused, and no one is backing up the parents that they are not abusers, I am going to say she likely was abused and they should pay up. THEY (the parents) enrolled her in that private school of their own free will. THEY entered in to a contract to pay that tuition. THEY were witnessed being abusive and threatening the girl and telling her she was being kicked out. I believe the girl. Just because she is a teen and they are adults does not believe she is a liar. And all abusers blame their victim. ALL abusers claim they never abused their victims. I believe the girl, the church, the ministers, the teachers, and the parents of fellow students who all say she was being abused. Also, the parents stand to profit here. They have their own list of legal issues outside of this, and an on-again-off-again marriage to support...and they are trying to cash out her college fund. I cannot figure out from the many articles who set up this college fund. The articles never seem to mention it, but based on the finances of the family being mentioned and how desperate the family has been to cash out her college fund and use for themselves (not even put it on hold until the girl "behaves" or pass down to the younger girls), something here just is not right. They seem very greedy and desperate to cash that fund out. I do not see the school claiming this girl is a model student. Model students do not get suspended. Model students are not removed from leadership positions. Being an honor student is not that hard at some schools--take a not to demanding load and you can have an A-B average. The only other parents I saw in articles I read were the family she was staying with. $650/week is way more than most awarded child support I have heard of. The parents already said she could have the college fund. Her parents on again off again marriage issues could be the result of the stress of this girl. One kid can do that. One kid do that to people who are conscientious parents. I've seen it. There is simply not enough information to point at the parents and say they are evil. There is also not enough info to say the girl created all of her problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I actually find it very interesting that the school has stepped up and volunteer to waive her tuition for this semester and a student body group has offered to raise her tuition for the semester. I think there is quite a bit more going on here. The only ruling the judge gave was in regards to this being an emergency situation. At this point it is not. The girl is safe, her tuition is covered. It will be interesting to see what the actually ruling will be in April. It is possible that they are doing this because they feel that she is being treated unfairly by her parents. It is also possible that they feel that she is such an asset to the school that her continued attendance will benefit all. I would think that would be less likely since she has been suspended from her position in campus ministry due to her conduct and demoted from cheerleading captain but perhaps the administration feels that she is a human example of atonement, forgiveness, and second chances. It is also possible that they are doing this because she has many friends who believe that she is being mistreated and have pushed the point. It is also possible that the school is doing this because they fear the bad publicity and public retribution that might follow if they did not. Interestingly, one of her parents mentioned in their statement that during the period in between the alcohol incident at the homecoming dance and when she ran away from her dad's office (where she was because she had been suspended by the school and her father states he was imposing community service) with her (also suspended) boyfriend she talked about her plan to sue her school principal because they made her miss her homecoming dance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 It's also possible the school is standing behind her because of the influence of the prominent attorney whose home she is now staying at (which includes two daughters who probably attend the same school). If he could take care of the lawsuit tab, he could also give the school something extra or even pay her tuition for her if she lost. We just don't know. My bottom line is I don't think the parents should be on the hook for financially supporting her to the extent she is asking. I find it ridiculous no matter what type of parents they have been up to this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Also, the parents stand to profit here. They have their own list of legal issues outside of this, and an on-again-off-again marriage to support...and they are trying to cash out her college fund. I cannot figure out from the many articles who set up this college fund. The articles never seem to mention it, but based on the finances of the family being mentioned and how desperate the family has been to cash out her college fund and use for themselves (not even put it on hold until the girl "behaves" or pass down to the younger girls), something here just is not right. They seem very greedy and desperate to cash that fund out. Can you link to where you're getting this? I'm not aware of any other legal issues the parents have beyond there daughter's law suit. They were investigated by DYFS but the complaint was dismissed as unsubstantiated and the case file was closed back in December 2013. It is also my impression that the parents have stated that her college fund remains untouched, they just aren't sure that they wish to give her access to it right now. With the caveat that I don't know this child or her parents, and the picture painted in the media is likely a bit distorted in at least some fashion, if my eighteen year old daughter was behaving this way my first priority would be getting an accurate diagnosis and getting her the help and treatment she needed. I would probably feel that sending her off to college where there she would have little support or supervision would be very ill advised. I would also be very uncomfortable giving her access to money that might just fuel more self destructive and risky behavior. I would be a bit stuck because my eighteen year old daughter is attending college on a full ride style athletic scholarship and could very well support herself at least for awhile even if she was in way over her head. Fortunately our eighteen year old is mentally well, quite grounded, sober, and generally making safe and healthy choices so her dad and I aren't stuck and we're grateful for that mercy. Having said that, I think the Cannings are well within in their right to not fund a living situation or lifestyle that they feel is unsafe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 If there's evidence of abuse, why isn't there a civil lawsuit at play? I would feel quite differently about this situation if there was a good basis for a civil and/or criminal trial . If there is strong evidence of abuse, I suspect there would be heavy CPS involvement with the other girls still living with the parents. That may be the case, who knows? I feel sorry for everyone here. I have no doubt this is a dysfunctional family. I've also seen no evidence that this girl did not have have alcohol problems in get suspended last fall either, that the girl's family alleges. It's hard to know what's what in cases like this. Since there's not likely evidence for a civil or criminal suit, I just don't feel like it should be mucking up the courts, and I do feel this girl has gotten some extremely bad advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 For anyone who likes to read court filings: http://cbsnewyork.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/rachel-canning.pdf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 According to the girl, she was kicked out and had been abused. According to the school, the church, and several parents, she was being abused. According to the school, she is a model student, and an honor student. The parents, on the other hand, have been separated and back together, on again and off again. They have been trying to cash out her college fund. She only asked that they pay the support that any non-custodial parent would have to legally pay in that state. She is also only asking for part of her college fund. The parents already had a lot of bills and legal bills from their own personal and legal problems they brought on themselves. I do not believe that just because someone is a teen, that they could not be abused and must be a liar. Adults are capable of abuse. And in light of the fact that the school, the church, and the other parents are backing up her story that she was abused, and no one is backing up the parents that they are not abusers, I am going to say she likely was abused and they should pay up. THEY (the parents) enrolled her in that private school of their own free will. THEY entered in to a contract to pay that tuition. THEY were witnessed being abusive and threatening the girl and telling her she was being kicked out. I believe the girl. Just because she is a teen and they are adults does not believe she is a liar. And all abusers blame their victim. ALL abusers claim they never abused their victims. I believe the girl, the church, the ministers, the teachers, and the parents of fellow students who all say she was being abused. Also, the parents stand to profit here. They have their own list of legal issues outside of this, and an on-again-off-again marriage to support...and they are trying to cash out her college fund. I cannot figure out from the many articles who set up this college fund. The articles never seem to mention it, but based on the finances of the family being mentioned and how desperate the family has been to cash out her college fund and use for themselves (not even put it on hold until the girl "behaves" or pass down to the younger girls), something here just is not right. They seem very greedy and desperate to cash that fund out. Can you be more specific as to where you found your facts? They absolutely contradict everything I have heard about this case, and your information about the "required" support payments in the state of NJ are inaccurate as well. As has already been detailed in this thread, the girl was most certainly not a "model student," and there appears to be absolutely no evidence that her parents were trying to cash out her college fund, nor that they were having any financial difficulties. If fact, one of the primary reasons stated by the girl's attorney about why she was entitled to the substantial amount of money she was demanding was that her parents could well afford to pay it. Additionally, her parents have stated all along that they are more than willing to pay for her high school tuition, college tuition, and her brand new car if she gets counseling and moves back home. I'm sorry, but I don't think most of your information is accurate, and if it was, I hardly think the judge would have ruled as he did. If anyone can be portrayed as greedy in this case, it is the girl, not the parents. For the life of me, I can't understand why anyone would think this girl deserves an allowance of $650 PER WEEK from her parents, in addition to having her other expenses paid for as well. Seriously, how many 18 year-olds do you know who get a $650 a week allowance from their parents? :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 :blink: Is that even a word? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Well, when I typed it, it seemed like a real word to me... but then you got me wondering if I might have invented it, so I looked it up. It's really a word. (And I was actually kind of surprised about it, because the more I read it, the more fake it sounded! :D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 http://cbsnewyork.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/rachel-canning.pdf start by reading the court documents.... and...other information available online.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 And she did not ask for that as an allowance..she asked for the child support to be paid to the people who have been caring for her. Also, she paid for her own car, but her parents took it away. She showed documents to prove this. School officials witnessed her being abused. Her dad was getting her drunk and doing things with her and making remarks. He went ape crazy over her having a boyfriend because he considered himself her boyfriend. And here is another news article... http://www.dailyrecord.com/article/20140302/NJNEWS/303020017/Morris-Catholic-HS-senior-suing-parents-who-won-t-pay-college?fb_action_ids=797882806891783&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_ref=artrectop&fb_source=feed_opengraph&action_object_map=%7B%22797882806891783%22%3A603828306375467%7D&action_type_map=%7B%22797882806891783%22%3A%22og.recommends%22%7D&action_ref_map=%7B%22797882806891783%22%3A%22artrectop%22%7D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 School officials witnessed her being abused. CPS investigated the abuse claims. they found them to be without merit. they went even further and said "she's a spoiled brat." CPS then closed the abuse case. NOW she's making even more egregious claims of abuse. if these things were indeed going on - why didn't she mention them when she *first* made her abuse claims? they only came out after her abuse claims had been dismissed by the legal entity required to investigate them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 And she did not ask for that as an allowance..she asked for the child support to be paid to the people who have been caring for her. Also, she paid for her own car, but her parents took it away. She showed documents to prove this. School officials witnessed her being abused. Her dad was getting her drunk and doing things with her and making remarks. He went ape crazy over her having a boyfriend because he considered himself her boyfriend. And here is another news article... http://www.dailyrecord.com/article/20140302/NJNEWS/303020017/Morris-Catholic-HS-senior-suing-parents-who-won-t-pay-college?fb_action_ids=797882806891783&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_ref=artrectop&fb_source=feed_opengraph&action_object_map=%7B%22797882806891783%22%3A603828306375467%7D&action_type_map=%7B%22797882806891783%22%3A%22og.recommends%22%7D&action_ref_map=%7B%22797882806891783%22%3A%22artrectop%22%7D Have you even bothered to read the judge's ruling on her claims? Your information is inaccurate. Clearly, you sympathize with the girl and are taking her claims at face value, but please don't state her claims as fact, because very few people -- including the judge -- seem to believe her accusations. The Daily Record article you linked was published when the story was first made public, before the judge made his ruling. Rachel's original "abuse" claim against her father was that sometimes he sometimes looked at her inappropriately. :rolleyes: Additionally, I'm not sure where you heard that she paid for the brand new car, because every report I read have clearly stated that the parents paid for the car, and the judge did not order that the car be given to her. I really think you're playing fast and loose with the details because you're sympathetic toward Rachel Canning, or else we have been reading conflicting news accounts -- which is entirely possible, because these kinds of cases tend to be sensationalized and embellished quite a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 CPS investigated the abuse claims. they found them to be without merit. they went even further and said "she's a spoiled brat." CPS then closed the abuse case. NOW she's making even more egregious claims of abuse. if these things were indeed going on - why didn't she mention them when she *first* made her abuse claims? they only came out after her abuse claims had been dismissed by the legal entity required to investigate them. Well... she did say that occasionally her father looked at her inappropriately... :rolleyes: And then there was the incredibly convincing story of the time her father woke her up in the middle of the night to play beer pong with him. :D Yeah, right. Her stories keep getting bigger and bigger because she's getting more and more desperate. Very few people (including the judge) seem to believe a word she says. I still think the major motivation for the lawsuit may very well be that the friend's father is getting sick and tired of supporting Rachel and what sounds like her expensive lifestyle. I'm sure that when he said she could stay with his family for a while, he wasn't thinking she'd still be freeloading at his house five months later, with no end in sight. I guess Rachel's sense of entitlement extends to the belief that her friend's family should support her for as long as she likes, just as she thinks her parents should have to cough up a ton of money to support her for years to come. She sounds like a little angel. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 For what it's worth, at least as of a decade or so ago, New Jersey law did, indeed, allow 18 year olds to force non-custodial parents to pay for college. This was true even when neither parent had custody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I think that people sympathetic to the girl AND people sympathetic to the parents are being a tad (or more) subjective in their interpretation of the facts and news stories. Also, both groups seem to be making significant inferences about what is really happening based on bias or preconceived ideas. We really have little to no basis to draw many conclusions from other than that she is not legally entitled to most of the things she requested. Rarely is the truth only on one side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 For what it's worth, at least as of a decade or so ago, New Jersey law did, indeed, allow 18 year olds to force non-custodial parents to pay for college. This was true even when neither parent had custody. As I understand it, I think the rules applied to cases where the parents were divorced, not to married couples, but I could be mistaken about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I think that people sympathetic to the girl AND people sympathetic to the parents are being a tad (or more) subjective in their interpretation of the facts and news stories. Also, both groups seem to be making significant inferences about what is really happening based on bias or preconceived ideas. We really have little to no basis to draw many conclusions from other than that she is not legally entitled to most of the things she requested. Rarely is the truth only on one side. :iagree: Clearly, there's something seriously wrong in the relationship between Rachel Canning and her parents, and none of us will ever know for sure exactly what transpired between them. No matter what happens in court, a family is being torn apart, and that's a very sad thing. As I mentioned earlier, I feel extra-sorry for Rachel's two sisters, who have been thrown into the middle of a media circus and who have to listen to horrible accusations about their family. Those poor kids are under so much stress. :( It's just a terrible situation all around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 As I understand it, I think the rules applied to cases where the parents were divorced, not to married couples. That may be how they were intended, but judges interpreted them more broadly. I know a couple whose teen moved out to live with a family member, who obtained legal custody. The teen lived with the other family member for two years, graduated from high school and then successfully took the parents (who were married) to court for college expenses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 That may be how they were intended, but judges interpreted them more broadly. OK, thanks. :) I'd seen some news commentators talking about how the Canning case was groundbreaking in NJ because the dd was suing her married parents, when normally the cases involve suing divorced parents. Quite a bit of fuss is being made about how the parents are married, so that's why I figured this was something uncommon. Fortunately, I have no personal experience with NJ child support laws, so I was just going by the news stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 She's returned home and her attorneys will hold a press conference this afternoon. Hopefully she's dropping it. http://news.yahoo.com/honor-student-sued-parents-returns-home-151953137.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 She's returned home and her attorneys will hold a press conference this afternoon. Hopefully she's dropping it. http://news.yahoo.com/honor-student-sued-parents-returns-home-151953137.html I read a report yesterday that said the parents had hired a new attorney and that their primary goal was to reach an agreement with their dd in private, so hopefully that is what has happened. Personally, I think the friend's father was trying to use this girl to help further his own political career and now that it seems to have completely backfired on him, he probably encouraged Rachel to try to reconcile with her parents so she would finally move out of his house. Whatever the case, I hope Rachel and her parents are able to work things out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Oh, I'm so glad she returned home. I hope they all get into some family counseling and relationships can be restored. Although, if I were the parents, I'd wish there were grounds for getting a restraining order against the family she stayed with and her attorney. I feel like they only used the girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I know of a case where both parents were in prison, serving long sentences, and the student was STILL considered a dependent because she was living with a grandparent. Really, the 'easiest' way to prove independence to the government is to have a baby (to whom you provide 50% support) or get married. Instant independent student status. Not that anyone is encouraging that. Getting married worked for me although my mom was already pretty poor at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I'm betting the boyfriend broke up with her over the publicity. And maybe started dating the best friend. And ... I know I shouldn't say this ... or at least I should put it in the Unpopular Opinions thread ... but ... The photo of the girl (in Horton's link) makes me want to punch her. :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I often point out to the kids their only way to rebel is to become a banker and join the Young Liberals, so far, so good :)I know this is tongue in cheek (as a fellow aussie I do get it) and I assume you'll love your kids no matter what. But this hit me hard as the child of a mother who can't bear to have me (and by extension, her only grandchildren) in her life, because my seemingly more conservative choices are too painful to watch... (yes, an awful lot of back story, but you get the idea.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 The thing with being a brat though - whose fault is that ? Again, just my experience, but brats are made, not born... Only some think they are made by punitive parenting, and others think they are made by non-punitive parenting. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Who do you blame when your kid is a brat Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the kids is a lion of shame You know exactly who's to blame: The mother and the father! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Who do you blame when your kid is a brat Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the kids is a lion of shame You know exactly who's to blame: The mother and the father! Willie Wonka? or rather the Oompa Loompas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Willie Wonka? or rather the Oompa Loompas? Yesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/12/us/student-sues-parents-new-jersey/index.html?hpt=hp_c2 This article reports that CPS investigated allegations of emotional abuse and did not substantiate them. My creep-o-meter is going off over the best friend's father. When I ask myself why would any man do that, I can't think of an answer that isn't creepy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Who do you blame when your kid is a brat Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the kids is a lion of shame You know exactly who's to blame: The mother and the father! I'm sorry, but I have personally seen super entitled kids come out of families who did not encourage entitled behavior. I've seen it in more than one family. Sometimes times personalities form and you wonder where they came from, because no other child in the family acts like that. Perhaps the parents are to blame. Perhaps the girl is just develops into an entitled PIA on her own. Sometimes developing these behaviors is an affect of going to school with and interacting regularly with peers who are entitled. Peer influence cannot be ruled out, especially since this family lives in a well off suburb and the teen attends private school .There's not enough info to know which is the case. And I hope we find out no more information on this family. I don't need to know more. I certainly do not need to know how she got her entitled attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I'm sorry, but I have personally seen super entitled kids come out of families who did not encourage entitled behavior. I've seen it in more than one family. Sometimes times personalities form and you wonder where they came from, because no other child in the family acts like that. Perhaps the parents are to blame. Perhaps the girl is just develops into an entitled PIA on her own. Sometimes developing these behaviors is an affect of going to school with and interacting regularly with peers who are entitled. Peer influence cannot be ruled out, especially since this family lives in a well off suburb and the teen attends private school .There's not enough info to know which is the case. And I hope we find out no more information on this family. I don't need to know more. I certainly do not need to know how she got her entitled attitude. It is lyrics from a song from a children's movie. It's a joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 children do come with their own personalities. in my experience, there are three types of children. those who will eventually come out on top despite their circumstances, those who are very much molded by their circumstances, for good or ill . . . . and those that will give the best parents in the world a run for their money. considering how over the top this little princess is compared to her sisters, I'd wager she belongs to the third group. The thing with being a brat though - whose fault is that ? Again, just my experience, but brats are made, not born... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 What do you do when your kid is a brat? You should be ashamed But you know whose to blame The mother and the father That is what is in my head anyway....actual lyrics may vary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 The photo of the girl (in Horton's link) makes me want to punch her. :leaving: I think the line starts three blocks down . . . . Eta: not saying I want to (she's already brought a lot of hurt upon herself that's going to last a long time), but comments here and elsewhere indicate many people share the same feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Who do you blame when your kid is a brat Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the kids is a lion of shame You know exactly who's to blame: The mother and the father! Oh great--now that song is stuck in my head! :glare: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Oops. Never mind. I didn't express myself very well in this post, so I decided to delete it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Oh great--now that song is stuck in my head! :glare: :laugh: I'm right there with you. MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Pft, please! I'd have changed the locks. If I was on the hook for paying her school, then I'd pay. I hope this crap gets thrown out! This sort of crap sickens me! This is just like that douche bag Texas teen whose lawyer got him off vehicular manslaughter charges by arguing that he was too affluent to know any better. Excuse me while I go and puke.... Just to clarify: I don't give a rats hiney about the parents--as I suspect that they are just as much to blame for the little monster they call 'daughter' as anything, but I don't feel like this crap making life harder on others... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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