Prairie~Phlox Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I'm looking for ideas. I know we had friends do a key & locket necklace possibly? Just looking for something special to give our daughter for her 16th birthday. Thanks, Phlox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 My friend had her dad give her a ring (a nice one) and both her sister got the same. If we did something like that it wouldn't be a necklace because my dd likes to wear different ones now and then, but a ring often can just stay on the finger if it's nice enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 What is purity jewelry ? A brand ? We gave dd a moon necklace for her 16th as she is pagan. She loves it. If I was choosing 16th birthday gifts, I think I'd try to find something related to dd's current interests or passions. If she was into drama, a bracelet with a comedy/tragedy mask charm etc. It's jewelry to show the girl's pledge to remain abstinent until marriage. I've only seen it as a ring presented by the girl's father that is "traded in" for a wedding band from her husband at the wedding. DH's grandfather's wife's grandson's bride did that at their wedding ceremony. Then her sister knocked over the unity candle and started a small fire, but that was unrelated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 It's jewelry to show the girl's pledge to remain abstinent until marriage. I've only seen it as a ring presented by the girl's father that is "traded in" for a wedding band from her husband at the wedding. DH's grandfather's wife's grandson's bride did that at their wedding ceremony. Then her sister knocked over the unity candle and started a small fire, but that was unrelated. Why is it given by the father? I have never heard of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Why is it given by the father? I have never heard of this. And now, Spryte, you have opened a can of worms. This should be interesting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 And now, Spryte, you have opened a can of worms. This should be interesting... Oops. I didn't mean to pull out a can opener. Feel free to ignore my question, all. It was genuine. My background in anthropology just reared it's head. I can google to learn about this tradition and its roots instead of asking here. Off to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Oh dear oh dear oh dear........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Oh. I don't think dd or dh would be crazy for that, so I'm probably not qualified to give advice on the specifics. Just on the general topic, something also nice for a 16th is an antique ring with daughter's birth stone... Or if she hates jewelry try getting her something that she would treasure. Like a handmade wood box to put keepsakes in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 For me, it's more about my daughter remaining pure, than it is about my husband giving away a piece of "property." I don't view her as that and don 't really even care if her future spouse asks our permission to marry her. She will choose what she wants, I just want to encourage her to save herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaConquest Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I feel unclean reading this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I bought dd14 a purity ring in the smallest size, and she wears it on a necklace chain like a pendant. She tucks it into her shirt since it is a private token not something she puts out as a display. Before I got it for her we had discussed it and she wanted it. I gave it to her for christmas but away from the rest of the family and she opted not to tell her dad when she went for her visit there. I actually think it is creepy for a dad to give it to his daughter, I think if you are giving jewelry for purity it should actually be from mother to daughter after that open series of conversations about why purity is important. For me it was in line with when we had those private talks about menstruation and I privately provided her with needed supplies. A symbol of purity should follow the same thing being a private thing, a pledge made between the girl and God after being taught by her mother of the necessary information. Not a big deal with the father presenting it, or trading for weddings rings etc. Having it on a chain keeps it close to her heart as a reminder without having to explain her decisions to everyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Oops. I didn't mean to pull out a can opener. Feel free to ignore my question, all. It was genuine. My background in anthropology just reared it's head. I can google to learn about this tradition and its roots instead of asking here. Off to do that. On the contrary...I think this should make an interesting discussion. Would it be better to do a spin-off thread so as not to derail the OP's original question? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awisha. Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wordsmith Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I feel unclean reading this thread. Seriously, why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I bought dd14 a purity ring in the smallest size, and she wears it on a necklace chain like a pendant. She tucks it into her shirt since it is a private token not something she puts out as a display. Before I got it for her we had discussed it and she wanted it. I gave it to her for christmas but away from the rest of the family and she opted not to tell her dad when she went for her visit there. I actually think it is creepy for a dad to give it to his daughter, I think if you are giving jewelry for purity it should actually be from mother to daughter after that open series of conversations about why purity is important. For me it was in line with when we had those private talks about menstruation and I privately provided her with needed supplies. A symbol of purity should follow the same thing being a private thing, a pledge made between the girl and God after being taught by her mother of the necessary information. Not a big deal with the father presenting it, or trading for weddings rings etc. Having it on a chain keeps it close to her heart as a reminder without having to explain her decisions to everyone else. I'm not a fan of purity rings, etc. but I think this is kind of sweet. I wouldn't emphasize the purity aspect, but something special between mother and daughter at reaching puberty is nice. The lock and key gives me visions of chastity belts. Or a Madonna song - "I hold the lock and you hold the key" not sure purity is what she had in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IdahoHomeschooler Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Is this something your daughter would enjoy and want to wear? I would have been MORTIFIED if my parents gave me jewelry representing my hymenal state, and I attended a private, Christian high school! I can see how some girls would like such a thing, especially if they had input in choosing it. Maybe it could be something you choose together, in a form your daughter prefers, if she even wants such a thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewIma Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I asked my parents for a purity ring when I was 15. I had read I Kissed Dating Goodbye and been to lots of abstinence events. Now looking back on the experience I see how incredibly negatively it affected me. It didn't stop me from having sex before marriage but added heaps and heaps of guilt. I think in someways it actually drove me to more sexual behavior as a teen/young adult because it felt like an all or nothing proposition. Either I was pure and good and only held hands or I was "broken" and dirty. With that kind of dichotomy even making out carried with it the weight of sin and a belief that I had tarnished my sexuality for my future spouse. If you are already ruined why hold back then? I can't tell you how many times I saw the demonstration where they would crumple up or tear a paper heart to show how your heart is permanently damaged by intimacy before marriage. I have been married now for years and my dh and I have a very intimate relationship. I don't have less to give him because I wasn't a virgin before we were married. I carry much more emotional baggage from the Purity movement than I do from premarital sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewIma Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 The additional danger of purity jewelry is that if someone does have sex he/she either has to purposely lie about it by continuing to wear the jewelry, or announce to the whole world that he/she had sex by taking the jewelry off. ETA: Personally, it feels like a violation to me to make such personal decisions public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I can tell you why *I* feel unclean reading this thread. Because if you don't "remain pure" it is insinuated that you are dirty, unclean, less worthy. I think it's a horribly damaging thing to teach to young women. edited for typo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 The additional danger of purity jewelry is that if someone does have sex he/she either has to purposely lie about it by continuing to wear the jewelry, or announce to the whole world that he/she had sex by taking the jewelry off. I think that is the point of it, actually. The shame factor as motivator. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I will preface my comment by saying that I don't endorse purity jewelry of any kind. BUT... Phlox didn't ask for our opinions on it. She was asking for suggestions on what might be nice for her dd. I don't think this is the place to argue about whether or not she SHOULD buy this type of item, as she wasn't asking for our approval. I think she was hoping that likeminded WTMers would have some gift ideas for her, not that people were going to turn this into a debate. I'm not the Forum Police, but I do think we should offer Phlox the courtesy of not judging her decision to buy the jewelry for her own dd in this thread. If we want to discuss the general topic of purity rings or lockets, someone should probably start a new thread about it. Again, I don't have any ideas for Phlox because I don't care for the idea of purity jewelry, but I do respect her right to ask her question and hope that she wouldn't be torn apart over it in her own thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I will preface my comment by saying that I don't endorse purity jewelry of any kind. BUT... Phlox didn't ask for our opinions on it. She was asking for suggestions on what might be nice for her dd. I don't think this is the place to argue about whether or not she SHOULD buy this type of item, as she wasn't asking for our approval. I think she was hoping that likeminded WTMers would have some gift ideas for her, not that people were going to turn this into a debate. I'm not the Forum Police, but I do think we should offer Phlox the courtesy of not judging her decision to buy the jewelry for her own dd in this thread. If we want to discuss the general topic of purity rings or lockets, someone should probably start a new thread about it. Again, I don't have any ideas for Phlox because I don't care for the idea of purity jewelry, but I do respect her right to ask her question and hope that she wouldn't be torn apart over it in her own thread. You know, I thought of this after I posted. I do not disagree with you. Apologies, OP, for butting in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewIma Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I'm sorry too. This is an issue I feel super strongly about (obviously, as after lurking for a year this thread finally got me to register! lol) but a separate thread would have probably been better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I'm sorry too. This is an issue I feel super strongly about (obviously, as after lurking for a year this thread finally got me to register! lol) but a separate thread would have probably been better. Don't be sorry. This needs to be brought up as it can be swept under the rug. Sadly, (not saying the OP is one) if you had this in a separate thread someone would have ignored it. I know a few who had purity ring experiences as you and the feelings from what happened. I think a :grouphug: best describes it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 You know, I thought of this after I posted. I do not disagree with you. Apologies, OP, for butting in. I'm sorry too. This is an issue I feel super strongly about (obviously, as after lurking for a year this thread finally got me to register! lol) but a separate thread would have probably been better. Many of us have strong opinions about this issue, and I was concerned that Phlox might be starting to feel like she was being personally attacked. I'm sure no one intended to make her feel that way, but I have seen threads about this topic in the past, and they don't usually end well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Purity jewelry wasn't something our family did, so I have no firsthand experience. But do a search on Etsy- there are a ton of beautiful ideas on there!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Oh Ma.... :laugh: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Don't you "Oh Ma" me, young lady!!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaConquest Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I can tell you why *I* feel unclean reading this thread. Because if you don't "remain pure" it is insinuated that you are dirty, unclean, less worthy. I think it's a horribly damaging thing to teach to young women. edited for typo. Exactly this. The whole thread makes me feel icky and sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Don't be sorry. This needs to be brought up as it can be swept under the rug. Sadly, (not saying the OP is one) if you had this in a separate thread someone would have ignored it. I know a few who had purity ring experiences as you and the feelings from what happened. I think a :grouphug: best describes it. I think if someone started a "What do you think about purity jewelry" thread, it wouldn't be ignored for very long... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaConquest Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 You know, I thought of this after I posted. I do not disagree with you. Apologies, OP, for butting in. Ditto. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlcricket Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Our daughter has a ring with a rosebud on it. She chose it and asked for it. It represents a value that she has and her personal commitment to personal purity. Purity does not equal virginity. Virginity does not equal purity. It's much more than a physical condition. A virgin can have actions, thoughts and attitudes that are not pure.. On the other hand, someone who has had sex can make a decision to be pure. Although virginity is something you lose forever, purity is not. We believe in grace and forgiveness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juliegmom Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Bob Siemon Designs has purity rings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 For me, it's more about my daughter remaining pure, than it is about my husband giving away a piece of "property." I don't view her as that and don 't really even care if her future spouse asks our permission to marry her. She will choose what she wants, I just want to encourage her to save herself. If that is what she wants than a piece of jewelry will not matter. It will be something she internalizes and lives. If she feels differently than no jewelry will matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 From the Community Guidelines: (bolding mine) Do not assume that everyone on the boards shares a particular religious conviction These boards are inclusive. You are welcome to ask theological questions, but don't post as though everyone who frequents the boards shares your ideology. Offending posts may be deleted. Don't use inquiries as an excuse to proselytize for anything. Answer questions that are posted but don't use these questions as an excuse to springboard into criticism. For example: If someone asks, "What are your kids dressing up as for Halloween?" don't launch into an explanation of how evil Halloween is. If someone asks, "Is Halloween evil?" have a ball. (Conversely: if someone posts, "We don't do Halloween; what can we substitute?" don't take this as an opportunity to prove to them that Halloween is really just fine.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I got a ring for my 21st birthday. With a heart and a cross on it. AT the same time I stood up and made public the vow I'd already made. Given to me by my then-new friends who were transporting me to church, etc. Which is appropriate because they have become lifelong and would be godparents for my kids if we did such things. I wore it for years and years and absolutely love it. But my husband did say it was a good thing I wasn't wearing it anymore when I met him because, had it been on my ring finger, he'd have assumed I was dating someone else/already taken and not made the move that started our relationship. BTW I didn't take it off because "I'd had sex" -- it wouldn't have crossed my mind that taking the jewelry off would have meant that at all. I wasn't wearing the ring to show the world I was a virgin (like one wears a wedding ring to show "taken" but I also don't think my husband taking the ring off means he's having an affair, or even contemplating one!). I was wearing the ring because a good friend gave it to me, I liked the ring, and I liked the remembrance of the ceremony I received it. I was 27 years old, that was past and I had other jewelry I preferred to wear. It meant the promise for purity -- which is more than physical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ripley Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Purity rings are something I only learned about once I began to homeschool. Oh, in Texas. So it's been expressed that possible baggage (and really, any choice we make is subject to baggage) might be the pressure to lie to the outside world by continuing to wear the jewelry .. or to announce one's impurity (and honesty) by removing the jewelry. I guess I'd try my best to go around that by choosing a piece of jewelry that was flexible in terms of wear. Maybe a brooch or pair of earrings - something she'd skip or switch out frequently enough any way. She might wear this piece on dates, or other important events, but not every day. She'd keep it in a jewelry box where she could access it every day, if she chose to. Oh, unless the point is for her to wear it everyday. I don't know - is it? As an adult, my grandmother converted from an indigenous religion to Catholicism. Her country today still only has about 1% Christians, so this was a big deal. The rosary she received at her conversion bumped around the family, and was given to me at my Confirmation. It was special not just because it was hers, but because of the ideals and faith it represented - and the hurdles she faced (and beat) in light of her devout faith. She's in her 90s and still driving to Mass every day. LOL And this rosary still sits in my end table drawer. Sometimes I pray it, sometimes I just look at it. Always, though, it gives me that something tangible to see and to hold - it represents her hopes for me, her beliefs (including purity - both within and outside of marriage!), and her faith. The association of her and that rosary is very strong, and when I'm at a crossroad decision it's the first thing I go to. It reminds me of all she stands for and wishes for me. And when I err or fail to live up to those, it's something I/we work out privately - not under public scrutiny. Because we all fall down, and that's okay. (Well, it is to Catholics anyway - I don't know about other faith traditions. We're very much about the journey, not just the end game. YMMV?) I think something along those lines - a gift, maybe jewelry but maybe not, that she can keep and visit as she needs/wants to, can be appropriate. Purity is something private, and I think it can be (perhaps is best) acknowledged (and encouraged) (and even re-committed to) without being broadcasted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I asked my parents for a purity ring when I was 15. I had read I Kissed Dating Goodbye and been to lots of abstinence events. Now looking back on the experience I see how incredibly negatively it affected me. It didn't stop me from having sex before marriage... Yeah, that's been my observation about purity rings/ceremonies. It's this big, meaningful event that lasts about 6 months, maybe. And after that a kid is no more or less likely to remain chaste than someone who didn't have such a thing... It wasn't just you. Consequently, while we talk to our kids about waiting (more for the peace it brings to one's heart not to sleep around, rather than "purity"), I sure don't want to make a ceremony of it... And, we'll probably give our daughter, at the least, a ring of some kind when she's about 16 just so she has that visible reminder in her every day world, of how important she is to her father and I. I got a Black Hills gold ring from my folks at about that age that I still have. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I bought dd14 a purity ring in the smallest size, and she wears it on a necklace chain like a pendant. She tucks it into her shirt since it is a private token not something she puts out as a display. Before I got it for her we had discussed it and she wanted it. I gave it to her for christmas but away from the rest of the family and she opted not to tell her dad when she went for her visit there. I actually think it is creepy for a dad to give it to his daughter, I think if you are giving jewelry for purity it should actually be from mother to daughter after that open series of conversations about why purity is important. For me it was in line with when we had those private talks about menstruation and I privately provided her with needed supplies. A symbol of purity should follow the same thing being a private thing, a pledge made between the girl and God after being taught by her mother of the necessary information. Not a big deal with the father presenting it, or trading for weddings rings etc. Having it on a chain keeps it close to her heart as a reminder without having to explain her decisions to everyone else. I actually like this explanation. Although I want my boys to wait just as much (maybe more, since it could be a lot dicier for them if they created an unexpected baby). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Our daughter has a ring with a rosebud on it. She chose it and asked for it. It represents a value that she has and her personal commitment to personal purity. Purity does not equal virginity. Virginity does not equal purity. It's much more than a physical condition. A virgin can have actions, thoughts and attitudes that are not pure.. On the other hand, someone who has had sex can make a decision to be pure. Although virginity is something you lose forever, purity is not. We believe in grace and forgiveness. :confused1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Thanks for the comments. I plan to talk with her. I have a gold chain that I wear almost daily with a charm that I added and the chain was from my parents, so I may just offer a piece of fine jewelry of her choosing, that has no real purpose other than it was from us. & real, not silverplated or some fake garbage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 From the Community Guidelines: (bolding mine) Do not assume that everyone on the boards shares a particular religious conviction These boards are inclusive. You are welcome to ask theological questions, but don't post as though everyone who frequents the boards shares your ideology. Offending posts may be deleted. Don't use inquiries as an excuse to proselytize for anything. Answer questions that are posted but don't use these questions as an excuse to springboard into criticism. For example: If someone asks, "What are your kids dressing up as for Halloween?" don't launch into an explanation of how evil Halloween is. If someone asks, "Is Halloween evil?" have a ball. (Conversely: if someone posts, "We don't do Halloween; what can we substitute?" don't take this as an opportunity to prove to them that Halloween is really just fine.) Thank you Jean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlcricket Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I'll try to explain. We do not teach our children that the goal is virginity. Like another poster said, in that thinking, once you lose your virginity, you've failed. We believe that we are called to personal purity. This involves actions, thoughts, and attitudes. A virgin, male or female, who does everything but the act of intercourse, or watches porn is not pure, although the act of sex has not occurred. Unlike virginity, once lost, purity can be regained. Purity does not equal virginity. Virginity does not equal purity. One is a physical condition. The other is a daily lifestyle. The Bible calls all believers to purity, without limiting it to the unmarried. So, we believe that this means something different than just virginity, since sex in marriage is something good and right. Speaking as a Christian, sexual sin, like lying, greed, gossip, or any other sin, can be forgiven completely. That's why purity lost can be recovered. Also, I don't want to open cans of worms, but purity is more than avoiding sexual sin, it's avoiding the temptation that leads to any sin, sexual or non-sexual. I hope this explains our concept of purity. :confused1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I actually like this explanation. Although I want my boys to wait just as much (maybe more, since it could be a lot dicier for them if they created an unexpected baby). I want my boys to wait as well, and have had the same talks with them, though I would have preferred those talks came from a father but it is what it is. They are not jewelry wearers though or I would have found a way for them to get something like that too. At this point both teens have made the decision to wait, though I am under no delusions thinking they will 100% stick with that choice, I just hope they do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Maybe some sort of charm bracelet. One charm could be selected to represent purity, but others could reflect other facets of a girl's life (and if a girl later takes a charm off, it's not going to be obvious to anyone on casual glance). I started collecting silver charms (the older, dangle style) for my DD when she was a baby at special events in her life so I plan to give her that bracelet when she turns 16. I know several of her older friends got Pandora bracelets for their 13th birthdays, to add to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erin Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 The Bible calls all believers to purity, without limiting it to the unmarried. So, we believe that this means something different than just virginity, since sex in marriage is something good and right. We have this basic rationale, too. Though we tend to step out a bit from "God asks us to remain pure" and into "WHY would God ask us to remain pure?" That conversation is where the conviction comes from, I think. Health risks are obvious, as well as pregnancy, but we also delve into the heart issues. And my kids can already see it in their peers that people, but particularly kids, tend to give away pieces of their heart to everyone they have not only sex, but also serious relationships with. Big pieces, small pieces, God doesn't want you sprinkling your heart around before you find that someone you're going to spend life with. They deserve all of it, KWIM? The Bible says guard your heart, so that's what we tend to lean on. Be mindful where you give your heart because it's not something cheap and trifling. It's the well-spring of life. Virginity is very much a secondary issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I'll try to explain. We do not teach our children that the goal is virginity. Like another poster said, in that thinking, once you lose your virginity, you've failed. We believe that we are called to personal purity. This involves actions, thoughts, and attitudes. A virgin, male or female, who does everything but the act of intercourse, or watches porn is not pure, although the act of sex has not occurred. Unlike virginity, once lost, purity can be regained. Purity does not equal virginity. Virginity does not equal purity. One is a physical condition. The other is a daily lifestyle. The Bible calls all believers to purity, without limiting it to the unmarried. So, we believe that this means something different than just virginity, since sex in marriage is something good and right. Speaking as a Christian, sexual sin, like lying, greed, gossip, or any other sin, can be forgiven completely. That's why purity lost can be recovered. Also, I don't want to open cans of worms, but purity is more than avoiding sexual sin, it's avoiding the temptation that leads to any sin, sexual or non-sexual. I hope this explains our concept of purity. A bit. I have a few more questions but they will have to wait until I get to a computer. My phone is not the best for longer posts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlcricket Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Yes, we discuss all the issues and see the reasons, also. It's a heart issue. I think we're on the same page. We have this basic rationale, too. Though we tend to step out a bit from "God asks us to remain pure" and into "WHY would God ask us to remain pure?" That conversation is where the conviction comes from, I think. Health risks are obvious, as well as pregnancy, but we also delve into the heart issues. And my kids can already see it in their peers that people, but particularly kids, tend to give away pieces of their heart to everyone they have not only sex, but also serious relationships with. Big pieces, small pieces, God doesn't want you sprinkling your heart around before you find that someone you're going to spend life with. They deserve all of it, KWIM? The Bible says guard your heart, so that's what we tend to lean on. Be mindful where you give your heart because it's not something cheap and trifling. It's the well-spring of life. Virginity is very much a secondary issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I will preface my comment by saying that I don't endorse purity jewelry of any kind. BUT... Phlox didn't ask for our opinions on it. She was asking for suggestions on what might be nice for her dd. I don't think this is the place to argue about whether or not she SHOULD buy this type of item, as she wasn't asking for our approval. I think she was hoping that likeminded WTMers would have some gift ideas for her, not that people were going to turn this into a debate. I'm not the Forum Police, but I do think we should offer Phlox the courtesy of not judging her decision to buy the jewelry for her own dd in this thread. If we want to discuss the general topic of purity rings or lockets, someone should probably start a new thread about it. Again, I don't have any ideas for Phlox because I don't care for the idea of purity jewelry, but I do respect her right to ask her question and hope that she wouldn't be torn apart over it in her own thread. Catwoman, I think you're awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnolia Rain Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 My dad gifted me with a pearl strand necklace on my 16th birthday. It had nothing to do with representing purity, just a loving father buying his daughter a piece of fine jewelry. Each of my sisters received one on their 16th birthday as well. The necklace is very special. I treasure it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 I actually like this explanation. Although I want my boys to wait just as much (maybe more, since it could be a lot dicier for them if they created an unexpected baby). At the ceremony where I made my vows and got my purity ring, there were others participating as well. Two other girls and one guy. I don't recall the specifics of what each received. This was 19 years ago! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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