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ack depression..warning, vent


Halcyon
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ugh. holiday blues are the worst. I have been feeling poorly the last few days (both emotionally and physically). Got a migraine last sunday which hasn't fully resolved. Youngest was a bit disappointed with Christmas overall which made me sad (he wouldnt say so in so many words, he's too polite, but i could tell). My sister and I got in a fight on Christmas Eve, I am not  getting along with my mother for reasons too lengthy to go into here (yet sis and bro flew down from Northeast to be here so I couldn't skip her house for Christmas).

 

Overall I have been very overtired and this migraine isn't helping. Then tonight as we left my mom's house i backed into her mailbox, broke the lamp on the mailbox, and also the handle that opens the back hatch of our SUV got smashed. I mean, tiny little pieces. And we really can't afford to fix something that doesn't affect the drivability of the car, KWIM?

 

I am just feeling crap*y. Feeling lost and aimless and sad. I am trying to be grateful Nobody is sick. Our homeschool is going fine. My boys are wonderful. I love our dogs and our chickens and our home. I am just feeling angry and sad over a few things and can't seem to shake it. I go through this periodically, and I know it will pass. I also know that I get very irritable and touchy when i feel this way....or alternatively, I retreat to my room and dont want to deal with anything at all. 

 

I just need to vent. I know it's Christmas, so I hope this doesn't rub anyone the wrong way. I have been reading the Bible and trying to find some peace.

 

 

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First, the hugs, then the platitudes. This, too, shall pass. It helps me to remember that what we are living right now is temporary. Although I must say it is much easier to maintain that perspective when I am not depressed.

 

How about this one. "Tomorrow is another day."

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I am sorry you're feeling this way. 

 

As the spouce of someone who deals w/ depression I would encourage you, that if this is more than just a few days around the holidays, to seek counseling and possibly medication. 

 

Holiday blues and depression are not necessarily the same thing.

 

Hugs

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Guest submarines

I'm sorry you feel this way. I can relate. Holidays affect me this way as well. If I could I'd skip all of it altogether and have random unexpected celebrations throughout the year--no anticipation, no preparation, no let downs. I hope you are able to shake if off soon. :grouphug:

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:grouphug:

 

IIRC you are working 20+ hours a week *and* maintaining your homeschool rhythm and this is a new venture for you, working a lot and homeschooling. You may be suffering some burnout and not realize it. You can love your job and enjoy homeschooling and still feel burnt out and overextended. Perhaps that is contributing to your low energy. It might be a time to step back and look at whether you're spread too thin.

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:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry.  :(

 

Hopefully your migraine is better today, because even when you're having an otherwise-great day, a migraine can drag you down and make you miserable. When the day is already stressful, a migraine can turn the blahs into a real feeling of depression.

 

And please don't feel guilty about feeling sorry for yourself.  :grouphug:

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Thanks everyone. Yes, I think I am burned out. Too much work, not enough (ANY) relax time. I am going to re-evaluate my schedule and even though i love my work, and i love homeschooling, i need time to myself, to read, to cook and to relax. It's just the way I am wired. Something has to give. 

Still feeling pretty awful actually.  :confused1:

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((hugs))

 

We all put too much pressure on ourselves this time of year. I think the stress makes it easier to slip into everything from bad moods to depression. Hopefully, now that Christmas is over, you can get back into your normal stress levels and feel more like your normal self. In the meantime, take some time to do something for yourself that's free and healthy. Take a walk, listen to some good music, paint your nails, clean your house. Doing something that makes me feel productive helps to clear my mood sometimes. I find myself paralyzed by the overwhelming amount of stuff I have to do sometimes.

Today my youngest and I re going for a walk on the beach (older is in holiday hockey camp). We are drawing together and watching Spongebob, which is what they like to watch when they're not feeling well-hey it could help! Stupidly went out last night and had 2 glasses of wine, and now feel nauseous AND blue. I am a total lightweight, it seems.

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Glad to know I am not the only one, PlumCrazy--the wine was wonderful TASTING, but when I woke up i felt blech. 

 

I think wha'ts hard for me right now is that I am treating a lot of patients, and the fact that I feel poorly myself but have to fake it with patients, be professional, attentive, etc...it's just wearing me out. I moved my patients from tomorrow, saturday, and I am going to take a day off for just me and the kids to be together. 

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None of us know you, Halcyon, but having read your various posts over the years I get the sense that you tend to throw yourself into whatever you're doing with passion. Wonderful, but don't forget to take some time to breathe. There not only needs to be an inbreath and an outbreath but the gap between the two is essential and is a great place to hang out :D

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None of us know you, Halcyon, but having read your various posts over the years I get the sense that you tend to throw yourself into whatever you're doing with passion. Wonderful, but don't forget to take some time to breathe. There not only needs to be an inbreath and an outbreath but the gap between the two is essential and is a great place to hang out :D

;) that's just what my husband says, so I guess you guys know me pretty well. (except he doesn't say passion...he says "obsession" lol).

 

You are absolutely right. SO right. I need to breathe, and remember that i don't need to do everything right NOW.

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