Worried about my Daughter

[bolt.]

DH is trying not to worry by not thinking about it.

 

I'm really hesitant to 'call the police' -- I don't know why. I just don't like to be 'that kind of woman' who over-reacts, and calling the police sounds like a classic over-reaction.

 

My brother's scout trips often ran more than a couple hours late, if I'm remembering correctly.

[Murphy101]

I think they are likely fine too even if something went "wrong".

[Mom2OandE]

They are too late at this point. I would be calling the police.

[Mandylubug]

They are more than likely fine but I would be highly irritated by now. I would definitely make a mental note of this occurrence if there is ever to be another future adventure with this family.

[Jennifer in MI]

Yup.  Chances are things are absolutely fine and there's a reason for why they are so late and didn't contact you.  

 

But, I'd still be calling the non-emergency number.  They are there to offer advice too.  Call and tell them the situation and see what they say.  If they are worried too - let them deal with it.  They have the resources.  And, if they have a flat and are on the side of the road, or their car wouldn't start, or whatever, the police can help.

[bolt.]

DH is going to go drive the route. I'll keep waiting for a call.

[ErinE]

DH is going to go drive the route. I'll keep waiting for a call.

Have you called the police? Please let us know. Keeping you and yours in my thoughts.

[LucyStoner]

A little bit of all of the above.

[kitten18]

I would be calling the police. It's been too long. 

[kwg]

:grouphug:

[houseofkids&pets]

I really agree with Jennifer in MI. Call the non-emergency number to discuss the situation and get some guidance. Since you live near mountains/caves, I truly believe that you would not be the first person to call them in a situation like this. 

[bolt.]

Got a text message. They are leaving the trail-head parking lot now. Back in 50 minutes.

 

Now, do I give her a piece of my mind, or let her smooth it over?

[Mergath]

I'd call the non-emergency number just to be safe.  Given that they're a bigger group, it's not like something could have happened to all of them and if something had gone wrong, I'm sure someone would have contacted you by now.  But I'd be worried too, because that's what parents do. ;)   :grouphug:

 

ETA: Glad to hear everything is okay. :)

[BlueTaelon]

I hope you've heard from them by now, if not I'd be calling park service and the police. I'd be in freak out mode by now:(

[Mommyfaithe]

Listen first....the I'd haul off. I' d be pissed as a hornet, and no one would be mistaken about it. Glad they are all ok!

[ChristusG]

Nearly four hours late????? I'd be livid now. I'm not one for confrontation so I'm not sure how I'd handle it.

[GSOchristie]

I hate confrontation, so I probably wouldn't say anything, especially if she was apologetic. Hopefully you are braver than me :).

[bolt.]

4 hours and 40 minutes late... if they really do get home by 8:10. Maybe they will take an extra 20-40 minutes to get bikes and kids into vehicles. I just can't even guess right now.

[Mandylubug]

I would hear the excuse and then sleep on it. Then decide my true reaction and any conversations that need to be had tomorrow.

[Flowing Brook]

I would probably ask what held them up and leave it at that.  I would calmly let them know I was not happy with them being so late. I would probably never let her go with them again without myself or her father. I am glad she is ok. 

[houseofkids&pets]

I am glad that your dd is safe.  

 

I don't know how I would handle the parent since I would be pretty angry by this point. It might be a good idea to hear what she has to say, but perhaps not get into it too much in front of the dc. You can address it with her privately later. Just remember this situation the next time dd wants to go somewhere with them again.

 

:hurray:  :grouphug:

[Cindy in FL.]

I wouldn't just gloss over it. I'd want to know what happened and then respond accordingly.

[ErinE]

4 hours and 40 minutes late... if they really do get home by 8:10. Maybe they will take an extra 20-40 minutes to get bikes and kids into vehicles. I just can't even guess right now.

Sleep on it if you plan on saying anything more, but I'd definitely let the mom know how worried I was. Nearly five hours late would be unacceptable for a traditional birthday venue. On a trail, it's reason to call search and rescue.

 

ETA: Forgot to add that I'm glad she's okay.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I would wait to hear the full story before losing my cool.

 

There are a myriad of reasons they are late. And I I assume everyone is fine.

[Heatherwith4]

I think that I'd let them offer an explanation if there is one. If there's not a darn good one, then they would not take my kid anywhere ever again.

 

That said, I don't think I'd make a stink. Of course you have a very good reason to, but it might upset your daughter who hopefully had a good time. And I'm guessing it wouldn't accomplish anything, either.

[Mergath]

4 hours and 40 minutes late... if they really do get home by 8:10. Maybe they will take an extra 20-40 minutes to get bikes and kids into vehicles. I just can't even guess right now.

 

I'd hear them out, but any excuse other than "held captive by cave bandits, barely escaped with our lives" and I'd freak out.  Stuff happens, but it's not okay to be that late with no phone call.  And if the woman's phone wasn't working for some reason, they should have left much sooner.

[DawnM]

I wouldn't make a huge deal tonight.  For one thing, it really might embarrass your daughter.

[Murphy101]

Got a text message. They are leaving the trail-head parking lot now. Back in 50 minutes.

 

Now, do I give her a piece of my mind, or let her smooth it over?

I'd give them a chance to make excuses and if they weren't some amazingly good ones, I'd be furious and they'd know it. How absolutely ridiculously insultingly inconsiderately rude of them.

 

And no, I would not send my kid with them anywhere again.

 

I'd send my kid inside to get ready for bed while I spoke with them on the patio/driveway.

[Farrar]

I'm pretty laid back about this kind of thing, but really, unless there's a good reason, I would say something.  No scenes, but just, "You know, that was really late and I was really worried, like on the verge of calling the police worried.  I just wanted you to know that."  If she's sort of oblivious, as it sounds like she is, she probably just didn't think.

[NicAnn]

I'm so glad she's ok.

 

As for the mother...there's be no way my dd could go out with them again. An hour is excusable. Two hours, maybe with a very good excuse. 4 hours late? She's lucky the police or search and rescue weren't called out, honestly.

I don't know that I'd yell or make a scene, but she would no for sure that's it's inexcusable and irresponsible.

[Guest]

I'm so glad she's okay!

[BigMamaBird]

 

I would hear the excuse and then sleep on it. Then decide my true reaction and any conversations that need to be had tomorrow.

 

 

That would be my reaction.  Peace tonight, calm down in the shower and then talk to her tomorrow.  My kids wouldn't be going with these folks again.

[maize]

I'm glad she's ok, I would wait and hear their explanation before deciding what to do next.

[8circles]

So glad she's OK.

 

I'd do my best to not make a scene BUT I have would definitely give them a piece of my mind tonight. Really, if there is a reasonable explanation forthcoming, she should be texting an apology and some sort of basic explanation. Like, "had some issues with equipment and no signal. Everyone's ok. Details later.". When you are almost 5 hours late you don't wait another hour to give an explanation. I'd be livid.

[twoxcell]

I would be extremely angry and worried. :/

[bolt.]

Picked her up.

 

The excuse was basically that she hasn't thought beyond "time of travel + time of hike" -- seriously? Did she not realize she was taking children? No calculation at all?

 

But, she was very apologetic. I was very unsmiling calm, fine, time to go.

[ChristusG]

My kid would definitely not be going with her again, sounds irresponsible to me.

[Kathryn]

Picked her up.

 

The excuse was basically that she hasn't thought beyond "time of travel + time of hike" -- seriously? Did she not realize she was taking children? No calculation at all?

 

But, she was very apologetic. I was very unsmiling calm, fine, time to go.

I could *maybe* understand that if they'd never been there before, but you said this is something their family has done before. They should know how long it takes!

[bolt.]

Not to mention: Providing a lunch... no time planned in which to eat lunch. Going to/from a cave, in order to enjoy the cave... no time planned to go into the cave. Oh, also, no breaks, no water, and no snacks. But she had a great time.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Not to mention: Providing a lunch... no time planned in which to eat lunch. Going to/from a cave, in order to enjoy the cave... no time planned to go into the cave. Oh, also, no breaks, no water, and no snacks. But she had a great time.

So. . . the children didn't eat all day?  Or are you talking about the time to do those things?

[Catwoman]

The mom sounds like a moron. :glare:

 

I'm glad to hear your dd is OK, though -- that must have been so scary for you!!!

[twoxcell]

 

Not to mention: Providing a lunch... no time planned in which to eat lunch. Going to/from a cave, in order to enjoy the cave... no time planned to go into the cave. Oh, also, no breaks, no water, and no snacks. But she had a great time.

Are you saying they did not provide food or water all day? My dd would not be going anywhere with these people ever again. :huh:

[Harriet Vane]

I do outdoors stuff all the time. Heck, I took a two-year-old backpacking in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area.

 

First, crazy worried. Four hours is a looooong time.

 

Second, cold fury. Yes, fury.

 

Yes, give her a piece of your mind. Really. This behavior is totally, completely, over-the-line unacceptable.

 

After this I would likely never trust them to supervise my kid again.

[Harriet Vane]

Have read your update. The lack of water for a hike of this nature clinches it. It's so blasphemously, horribly irresponsible. Stuff happens on the trail sometimes. A bad situation can turn into a fatal situation when there is no water. This goes beyond being a moron.

[SKL]

I probably wouldn't be worried or angry.  Maybe frustrated.  I would consider those parents unreliable going forward.  If they were that close by someone could have figured out a way to make a phone call.

[bolt.]

There was a lunch and juice boxes, they just hadn't accounted for time. And no additional water for the hike itself.

[Harriet Vane]

There was a lunch and juice boxes, they just hadn't accounted for time. And no additional water for the hike itself.

 

Still not good enough.

 

Four hours late is a really, really long time.

 

No water on any hike, especially one involving a cave, and especially one that would take this long, is practically unforgivable.

 

I'm sorry for your stress today. How awful. :grouphug:

[zoobie]

No water is darn near criminally stupid. I'm so glad your daughter is home safely!

[kitten18]

Wow, definitely wouldn't let my child go anywhere with them ever again!!!  Morons. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

If you knew where they were going, you could have figured out some of the timing yourself BUT I would expect someone organizing such a trip to do that and let you know how long it would be - esp. since they've been there before and it sounds like you haven't.  I'm glad that they did have some food and drink but I do agree about them needing to bring water on the hike.  They do not sound very "hiking savvy".