Melissa in Australia Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Can you ever really know somebody ? I thought I knew someone very, very close to me very well, but now I am thinking that I don't have any idea about the person at all. maybe I only know aspects of them and they are really someone completely different deep down inside. I am just so confused Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 I'm sorry. It is so hard when someone surprises us in that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Sometimes people have reasons for keeping things to themselves, it's not necessarily a desire to decieve. This probably happens a lot more with introverts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Sometimes people have reasons for keeping things to themselves, it's not necessarily a desire to decieve. This probably happens a lot more with introverts. I "liked" your post, but I felt the need to quote it, too, because I agree with it SO much. Those were almost my exact thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 No I don't think so. I think it's even difficult to completely know ourselves. I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 No I don't think so. I think it's even difficult to completely know ourselves. I think part of that is because we are changing all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 ... and then there is always the moment when each of us does something completely out of character.... .... and then there is the acting out of emotion in ways we ourselves might never have imagined... but there are those other times, when someone inadvertently reveals they are from mars..... fwiw, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 No. And we often don't know ourselves either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 ... and then there is always the moment when each of us does something completely out of character.... .... and then there is the acting out of emotion in ways we ourselves might never have imagined... but there are those other times, when someone inadvertently reveals they are from mars..... fwiw, ann Thank you I am at the moment having revealed that I have been in very close contact with a person from Mars. comes as a bit of a surprise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Thank you I am at the moment having revealed that I have been in very close contact with a person from Mars. comes as a bit of a surprise. I am having the same experience, with the added bonus that the Martian has behaved in ways that will blow her family apart. I'm sick about it. Now I am also wondering who else I know and love is actually from Mars? I hate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 22, 2013 Author Share Posted September 22, 2013 I am having the same experience, with the added bonus that the Martian has behaved in ways that will blow her family apart. I'm sick about it. Now I am also wondering who else I know and love is actually from Mars? I hate it. :grouphug: confusing isn't it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 How much do you really need to know? There is the public persona, the friends and family persona, the only your spouse and kids persona, only your spouse, only your kids, and the self you keep in your own head and heart. They can all have differences without any of them actually being fake. People are complicated. I like it that way. :) Even though I hate it when I have one of those "I thought you were from this planet, my world is shattered" events. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Only if that person lets you really know them. Other than some close family members, I think I have only really known one other person. He is a guy I dated for 2 years about 6 years ago. He is the only other person I think I have ever really truly known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 As an INTJ who is very interested in people, I often see things about people that those close to them have missed. My observation about that is that most people, (probably rightly) do not spend time checking to see if they should trust their friends, or if their friends are changing. Most people take those close to them as they are in the moment and only assess them in times of trouble. I, on the other hand, am always questioning the people in my life, seeing how much they can be trusted, do they need my help, prayer, ect. I do think that is my personality, and so I think most people miss things about the people closest to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 I think occasionally people we know well can get really messed up and act in ways that are inconsistent with their past behavior, values, selves. I'm sorry you're facing what sounds like a shock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BYE Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 I'm going to say no. There are very few people who haven't completely blown my mind by showing themselves to be the complete opposite of what I had believed. Sometimes good, more often bad. That's why I like cats. I know they're the rulers of the universe and I am only a pawn in their goals of destruction. I'm cool with that, provided I get my cuddle wuddles before bedtime. I'm not really as crazy as I sound. Or am I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 We usually only know certain aspects of the person. Even with partners we often don't know their work persona or their out with the boys persona. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 There are very few people who haven't completely blown my mind by showing themselves to be the complete opposite of what I had believed. Sometimes good, more often bad. That's why I like cats. Yes, and even though I'm not really a cat person, except for Grumpy Cat, of course, this is why these days, books and dogs are more my thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 This is also why I have two boards on pinterest for people who are ahem rather "difficult". http://www.pinterest.com/misspiggyi/difficult-people-i/ http://www.pinterest.com/misspiggyi/difficult-people-ii/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 No. And it is heartbreaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I'm going to say no. There are very few people who haven't completely blown my mind by showing themselves to be the complete opposite of what I had believed. Sometimes good, more often bad. That's why I like cats. I know they're the rulers of the universe and I am only a pawn in their goals of destruction. I'm cool with that, provided I get my cuddle wuddles before bedtime. I'm not really as crazy as I sound. Or am I? I am still working on the cat thing. Lol. I do love my turtle though. He is quiet, doesnt make a mess and entertains me thoroughly. He will even watch tv in my lap! As for the other stuff, I agree completely. I can NOT believe how gullible I was when I was younger. I am having a complete smack in the forehead kind of year. It is heartbreaking, but in the same respect....it is making me feel like a stronger, more independent person, now that I know I really have it more together than anyone else I know! How the hell did that happen???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liberty Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Sometimes when it comes to people very close to us, we see only what we WANT to see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Echoing sbgrace's post: there are times when someone you thought you knew has indeed changed and does something completely at odds with who they were when you invested in the relationship. It can shift your world, and in a very painful way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I have been striving in the past few years to be like Seekings dh. I want to live authentically. It has taken a bit of work to understand that I don't have to broadcast every sin to everyone to be authentic. What it does mean is that I will be transparent to those who have a right to know about things they have a right to know about. To answer the question I do think there are trustworthy people.....I have several in my life. I have been surprised, shocked, saddened by others....but at my age my circle of trusted people is pretty set and there are certain things I absolutely do not believe they would ever do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 No, I really don't think you can ever truly know someone. I feel like I'm an open book, though I don't over share, I am very honest. I have found out that many people that have known me for years, even my whole life, are surprised at things I say and do all the time. Not necessarily in a negative way, but I guess they feel I've revealed an additional part of me. I had a recent run in with a martian and we're no longer friends. I get it :grouphug: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I'm sorry, Melissa. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I am having the same experience, with the added bonus that the Martian has behaved in ways that will blow her family apart. I'm sick about it. Now I am also wondering who else I know and love is actually from Mars? I hate it. Wow, all of the martians must have revealed themselves at the same time. We are dealing with the exact same thing right now! Someone we have called friend for over 13 yrs is about to flush their family down the toilet. Well, actually he already has but the family just doesn't know it yet :crying: . And, sadly, there is nothing we can do because our hands are tied by an investigation that is underway, and the family will have to find out the hard way. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I don't think truly knowing someone means you can never be surprised or saddened by someone. Some things will always be sad or surprising or wonderful no matter how well you know someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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