I was just asked to stop nursing my baby at TARGET!

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

What about the rights of the baby? So the baby who is formula-fed has more rights that the baby who is breastfed? that women who are feeding their children in the biologically normal way are seen as exhibitionists? It is this particular attitude that is partially responsible for the low breastfeeding rates we have in this country. The more obstacles we place on women breastfeeding, the sooner they wean. The message is that it is okay to use boobs to sell beer and chicken wings than for them to be used for their God-given purpose - to feed a baby. I would definitely want my children exposed to the proper purpose of breasts, not the media-created purpose. I do whatever I can to shield my children from the purient type of attitude, I but am thankful for women who stand their ground and refuse to have their rights walked upon.

 

I have a dream - where breast will be seen primarily as for feeding, where public breastfeeding will cause no more stir than scratching one's chin, and where recreational use would be banished to private venues.

 

And where artificial nipples will be banned if real nipples are. Where no baby is shuffled into a filthy bathroom to eat. Where offended people who can't avert their eyes when they feel the need will be provided as a courtesy, light blankets to put over their head. (With nods and all due props to Crunchymountainmama.

 

Amen.

[mo2]

I didn't read all the replies, but I would be ticked too. Definitely call or write Target. Did you happen to notice the employee's name? It would be even better if you could specifically name her in your complaint.

[mo2]

I tried to find the link for this, but one of my favorite pictures is of a woman mayor or representative in South America meeting with her constituents. She is breastfeeding her toddler with the full breast showing. The caption discusses the political issue at hand and doesn't even mention breastfeeding. That is what I would love to see - for breastfeeding to be seen as so normal no one bats an eyelash anymore.

 

 

Wow, I wish you could find that link. I would love to see that pic.

[CAMom]

What about the rights of the baby? So the baby who is formula-fed has more rights that the baby who is breastfed? that women who are feeding their children in the biologically normal way are seen as exhibitionists? It is this particular attitude that is partially responsible for the low breastfeeding rates we have in this country. The more obstacles we place on women breastfeeding, the sooner they wean. The message is that it is okay to use boobs to sell beer and chicken wings than for them to be used for their God-given purpose - to feed a baby. I would definitely want my children exposed to the proper purpose of breasts, not the media-created purpose. I do whatever I can to shield my children from the purient type of attitude, I but am thankful for women who stand their ground and refuse to have their rights walked upon.

 

I have a dream - where breast will be seen primarily as for feeding, where public breastfeeding will cause no more stir than scratching one's chin, and where recreational use would be banished to private venues.

 

:iagree: Has one single mom ever been asked to move or cover up while bottle feeding her baby?

[*anj*]

:iagree: Has one single mom ever been asked to move or cover up while bottle feeding her baby?

 

Now that is funny!

 

Can you picture it?

"Ummm, excuse me ma'am, but would you please cover up that artificial nipple? We have patrons who feel uncomfortable because they know that your baby would be doing that with a real nipple if possible, and the thought of a real nipple in a baby's mouth is umm, titillating, to some people. So please put a blanket over your baby and that bottle.

 

Same goes for the pacifier."

[Jenny in Atl]

I tried to find the link for this, but one of my favorite pictures is of a woman mayor or representative in South America meeting with her constituents. She is breastfeeding her toddler with the full breast showing. The caption discusses the political issue at hand and doesn't even mention breastfeeding. That is what I would love to see - for breastfeeding to be seen as so normal no one bats an eyelash anymore.

 

I know that picture too! I also can't find it. I think it's in Milk Money and Madness. I did find this old photo of a woman in ~ late 1800's.

 

[mommaduck]

You know, if people weren't so flippy about breastfeeding, then it wouldn't matter what style of dress or shirt we'd wear. I saw a picture not long ago of a Polish woman circa 1940's breastfeeding her babe...breast also totally exposed...due to dress style and convenience (have a babe in wrap on hip, breast out for child to nurse, arms free to work and carry on chores).

[sweetbaby]

I'm a nursing advocate but I always try to take some type of cover up in public places. The act of nursing is beautiful and a personal experience between mother and child. That experience doesn't necessarily have to be displayed to others. Sex is natural but you wouldn't want to see someone act it out in public.

 

I try to respect others as I would want someone to do the same for me and my children. Some parents don't want to explain what a booby is to their 4yo if they haven't seen one before. :D

[Jenny in Atl]

I'm a nursing advocate but I always try to take some type of cover up in public places. The act of nursing is beautiful and a personal experience between mother and child. That experience doesn't necessarily have to be displayed to others. Sex is natural but you wouldn't want to see someone act it out in public.

 

I try to respect others as I would want someone to do the same for me and my children. Some parents don't want to explain what a booby is to their 4yo if they haven't seen one before. :D

 

I see this equation of breastfeeding = sex or as others have said, going to the bathroom, as so sad. It's also sad that a 4 year-old would not know what a breast is, or what it's for. Are these the same kids that don't know milk at the store comes from a cow?

 

This is an area in which Earth's more "primitive" peoples are more sane and advanced then the us so-called modern westerners. To them, it's not some sacred act to be hidden in a dark room and kept from the other children. We truly are loosing what it means to be human, to remove ourselves from the natural and normal. We tell ourselves we cannot survive without technology and gizmos that replace the mother. Just so sad.

[Peri]

Well, that says that she can't be charged with a crime. It doesn't say that a store can't ask her to stop.

 

They might be able to ask but she has every right to nurse her baby in public and if anybody has any sort of uncomfortable feels ... well I feel uncomfortable watching girls who are too young to be sexual walking around practically naked. Maybe I should go and ask them to please cover up. They are making people uncomfortable! KWIM

[nmoira]

 

We truly are loosing what it means to be human, to remove ourselves from the natural and normal.

In a nutshell. :sad:

[LaMere Academy]

I just saw this in our local news! It's so shocking to me that people can be so ignorant.

 

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/topstories/news-article.aspx?storyid=116089&catid=15

[*anj*]

I just saw this in our local news! It's so shocking to me that people can be so ignorant.

 

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/topstories/news-article.aspx?storyid=116089&catid=15

 

Now that's when you just want to go "Ready. Aim. Fire!" And squirt that guy in the eye. I used to shoot it at dh back in the day and I was a pretty good shot! :D

[LaMere Academy]

Now that's when you just want to go "Ready. Aim. Fire!" And squirt that guy in the eye. I used to shoot it at dh back in the day and I was a pretty good shot! :D

:lol:

Yes I think I might have purposely dripped some onto the bench just to freak him out.

[sarahli]

Neither DH nor I are offended by a mother nursing in public. He does NOT see a lactating breast as sexual. Whether she has no skin showing, a sliver, or everything all hanging out, is up to her. Breastfeeding, for the most part, is protected by the law, no matter how openly.

 

If you or your DH/ dc/ dear 2nd cousin are offended, you have 2 choices

1- get over it

2- leave

 

You don't have the choice to tell someone to cover up, and nursing mothers don't need to make excuses about whether they want to be discreet or not. There are lots of things I see in public that make me uncomfortable. I get over it.

 

oh strange... I thought this was on the first page, looks like I bumped it. Oh well ;)

[newlifemom]

I've read this thread off and on from the beginning. Wanted to relate a tale of my dd#1's b-feeding experience when ds#2 was born. She got the idea to lift her shirt but didn't know where so she nursed her 'babies' from her belly button. :tongue_smilie:(She was only 3 at the time)

[Jenne]

I just saw this thread for the first time today (I'm new here.) This reminds me of a time I was nursing my newborn in quiet out-of-the-way corner of a BX food court (with an XL t-shirt covering every bit of me and resting on his face a little.) A woman told me that what I was doing was disgusting. She couldn't see anything (I asked my friend just to confirm.) She was disgusted and offended just by the *idea* of what I was doing.

 

On the other hand, once I was nursing him in his front carrier inside my maternity winter coat at a football practice. A little girl came up and pulled away the top of the jacket and carrier and said "That baby is eating you!" I just laughed and said yes and that she should ask her mother about it.

 

(BTW, he was a little blast furnace, especially when nursing, so the only time I could cover him was if we were outside in the winter.)

[MommyInTraining]

I was just rereading some of this thread because I remembered it from long ago. The reason I came back to it was because of what happened to me. In all of my almost 10 years of breastfeeding I have never been asked to stop breastfeeding....until today!

 

I was in the rec room at the YMCA with my 5 children. I was letting the 4 older ones play while and I decided to feed the baby before we got back in the car. The young boy who was working in the room looked at me from across the room and told me he couldn't let me do that....uhhh??? I just looked at him like he was talking to someone else, I could hardly believe it! I think he may have repeated it a couple of times and then he said breastfeeding, that I couldn't do that in there. What??? Of course, me in shock, said something like OK and sat there for a moment. I then calmly (on the outside) got up and walked out of the room with my children in tow. I thought I had done something wrong since we did end up flashing a little before the babe got settled in, and there were other children in the room. But, since reading the laws concerning indecent exposure and how breast feeding does not fall into that category, I am beginning to feel like he had no right to tell me not to feed my child. The least he could have done is come over to me and kindly ask me to stop, not announce it across the room telling me I can't do it.

 

I am really unsure how to proceed. Should I just let it go or mention it to the staff?

[keptwoman]

Make a complaint. If you don't then he will do it again to someone else.

[Lovedtodeath]

He needs to be educated. My goal would be to return and know that I could breastfeed there.

[Blessedfamily]

I think this is just a matter of employee education and not the Y's policy. Breastfeeding laws were probably not covered in the young guys training and he's unaware.

 

I would inform a higher up that they need to train their employees about breastfeeding laws.

Now if you get resistance from the top, that would be a big problem.

[laurad1125]

I think you should have covered up,

 

Some babies won't tolerate a blanket. Neither of mine ever would. As soon as I put it over us, they'd pull it off. Also, just because you don't have a blanket doesn't mean there was any flashing going on. I was very good at using my shirt and the baby to keep my modesty.

[cathmom]

Frankly, I would have thought he would be embarrassed to tell you not to. I would definitely bring it up to the management. The Y is supposed to be a family place.

[cillakat]

http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/breast50.htm

 

I believe you are "covered" by the law on this one. :grouphug:

 

 

 

Yup. I'd be heading right up the chain of command at Target, contacting Target corporate and likely news media as well.

 

K

[cillakat]

Now that is funny!

 

Can you picture it?

"Ummm, excuse me ma'am, but would you please cover up that artificial nipple? We have patrons who feel uncomfortable because they know that your baby would be doing that with a real nipple if possible, and the thought of a real nipple in a baby's mouth is umm, titillating, to some people. So please put a blanket over your baby and that bottle.

 

Same goes for the pacifier."

 

 

Alternatively:

 

"Ma'am, can you please cover up that artificial nipple. There are people here who are uncomfortable with the use of artificial feeding and artificial nipples and the overuse of both in the feeding of infants"

 

K

[JennifersLost]

This debate is cracking me up because I used to get flak for NOT exposing my breast when I breastfed my babies - that was in California.

 

I am very private about my body and NO ONE gets to see my breasts who hasn't earned some serious trust, so I never, ever breastfed in public without a light blanket tossed over my shoulder for privacy.

 

I got all kinds of cr*p for not just pulling up my shirt and breastfeeding - from friends and strangers alike. That always boggled my mind.

 

I'm sorry - just because I'm breastfeeding doesn't mean you get a free peek, Know what I mean?????

 

People! You can't please them no matter what you do.

[MommyInTraining]

So, what should I say? The legislation in WA state just says that you can not be accused of indecent exposure for breastfeeding. It doesn't state that someone can't ask you to stop. What should I say to the supervisor at the YMCA if I tell them he told me I couldn't breastfeed there?

 

Just trying to get my wording right.

 

Thanks!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Have you asked the Y if they have an official policy on breastfeeding? I would check that first to see if you could address it simply as a matter of the employee not following their own policy (provided it allows breastfeeding). If they have a no breastfeeding policy then you would need to address it more on a matter of whether they are conforming to WA State law.

[homeschool_mom]

I agree. I don’t want to see someone else’s breast either. I’m totally supportive of breastfeeding—even in public. However, I do appreciate modesty.

[Ancora_Imparo]

I have not read all of the responses, but what about the fact that it is on private property. Do the property owners not have any rights to say what can and can not be done on their own property? I breastfeed dd, but I always made sure to go to a more secluded area when I was in public. I think there can be a happy medium where nursing mothers respect those around them also. My dh would have been very uncomfortable to have me nursing where the whole world could see.

[texascamps]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

I think you should have taken the blanket....

 

 

 

 

 

 

and told the employee to give it to whomever complained. He can put it over his head.

[blessed2fosteradopt]

never mind

Edited March 21, 2009 by blessed2fosteradopt

[Joanne]

Eh. While we are beating this dead horse, I am going to offer something I have observed about this topic. Many people, including many in this thread seem to make knowledge that a mom is nursing her infant with non discrete. IMO. They are not synonymous.

 

Relatedly, I am always baffled at the multitude of people who add "as long as it's discrete". I don't get it. In my early mothering years, I was around many crunchy, earthy, eat or bury your placenta types. And only ONCE did I see a mom who I felt was inappropriate. She was a woman who wanted to prove a point. She was around a bunch of crunchy moms; I felt her actions superfluous.

 

I often wonder if others see more radical nursers than I do or if their standard for appropriate very differeent.

 

To me, nursing an infant and toddler is a no brainer and non issue. The fact that it appears to be an issue astounds me.

[Crissy]

I often wonder if others see more radical nursers than I do or if their standard for appropriate very differeent.

 

 

 

In all my years, I've only seen a 'radical nurser' once.

I was working in a photography studio on a busy Saturday afternoon. The nursing mother was wearing a tube top, of all things, and simply pulled the entire top down to her waist to feed her infant. :001_huh:

She was perfectly comfortable in that crowded room, but golly, did the men squirm in their seats!

[IsabelC]

I think 'appropriate' is whatever is needed to get the baby satisfactorily attached and feeding. For 'easy' babies and experienced breastfeeders, this will always look very 'discreet' (except tandem feeding twins). But for a first time mother just learning, or a difficult to attach baby, others will sometimes see a little more than they would like to, in which case they need to Get.Over.It. Seriously, if you don't like it, avert your eyes.

 

Joanne, I do know / know of a few women who make a point of flopping out their breasts in a totally non discreet way, as a way of making a statement about their right to feed their babies wherever and whenever needed. Personally, I don't think it's necessary to make people uncomfortable for no good reason, and over four years of breastfeeding so far, I can only remember one time when somebody was made uncomfortable by me (quite unintentionally) that I noticed.

Edited September 8, 2009 by Hotdrink

[SonshineLearner]

What's worse about the bottom half of a woman's bre**st than the top half??

 

It has nothing to do with the fact that too much shows, and everything to do with the fact that some don't want to think about a woman producing liquid for a baby to eat.

 

Tough.

 

Carrie

[iluvmy4blessings]

This thread died long ago. Someone must be bored to go searching for it again. :auto:

 

Many people use the search box to find topics of interest. That way they don't post a new thread on something that has already been discussed. Often times in doing a search they will find an old thread and resurrect it. It's a very useful way to find information on something that might have already been discussed.

[oceandaughter]

I got told to cover up in a US passport office once. I was later apologized to, though.

 

To be honest, covering with a blanket is less discreet for me. Every baby I've had will only tolerate the blanket as a newborn (I like to keep the lights out of their eyes so I tend to shade them with a cover when they are very tiny). If I were to try and cover an older baby, then they would pop off the breast and flash the world.

 

It is very sad that a woman can't feed her baby without being ogled in this society.

[babysparkler]

I agree with Jenny. I would definitely call the store and calmly inform them of the laws in PA that protect nursing women from harrassment. I would then call Target's corporate office to let them know about the incident and the laws in place in PA and the fact that they need to train their employees to be aware when they are in danger of violating a mother's right to feed her child. I might also mention the many nurse-ins and bad publicity that goes with it that have taken place across the country. No company wants bad publicity or a call from the ACLU.

 

Target Corporate Phone:612-304-6073

 

:iagree: That's exactly what I would do. There is NO NEED for you to use a blanket if you or your baby prefer not to use one. It makes it no less discrete... in my eyes, it makes it more obvious to the world that you are bf.

[wagnfun]

I think you should have taken the blanket....

 

 

 

 

 

and told the employee to give it to whomever complained. He can put it over his head.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol: It is funny but my first thought was a father of a preteen should teach him boy the art of "not looking"

[mo2]

To be honest, covering with a blanket is less discreet for me. Every baby I've had will only tolerate the blanket as a newborn (I like to keep the lights out of their eyes so I tend to shade them with a cover when they are very tiny). If I were to try and cover an older baby, then they would pop off the breast and flash the world.

QUOTE]

 

Ditto that. My kids HATED the blanket.

[IdahoHomeschooler]

just take blanket! Is that too much to ask. Why would my two children and I enjoy a pretzel and soft drink together while you have your boob flopped out feeding your kid. My wife used discretion, like a blanket ! You liberal whackos ! Do you think your kid will die of starvation until you get to the car? I wish my wife and I could have been there so we could have changed my daughter's dirty diaper on your table while you fed your child !

 

 

Yo, jughead, did you look at the date of this thread? Since when does feeding a baby equal changing a diaper on the table? It is pretty clear who the whacko is (hint: YOU). I feel sorry for your wife. Have a nice day :tongue_smilie:

[Shawna in Texas]

I'm always seeing liberal whackos nursing at Target. It's a crazy world we live in.

:lol:

[melissel]

Obviously Jarhead is having a slow night at home and is looking to pick a fight for a little excitement. Also, he clearly knows nothing about the people on this board if he thinks we're all liberal wackos :lol:

 

I feel sorry for his wife too--assuming, of course, he's not actually some 13-year-old boy up under his covers with his cell phone after lights out :D

[babysparkler]

I'm always seeing liberal whackos nursing at Target. It's a crazy world we live in.

:lol:

 

LOL... you saw me and didn't come by to say hello? :lol:

[mom4him]

I think you should have taken the blanket....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and told the employee to give it to whomever complained. He can put it over his head.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[mom4him]

just take blanket! Is that too much to ask. Why would my two children and I enjoy a pretzel and soft drink together while you have your boob flopped out feeding your kid. My wife used discretion, like a blanket ! You liberal whackos ! Do you think your kid will die of starvation until you get to the car? I wish my wife and I could have been there so we could have changed my daughter's dirty diaper on your table while you fed your child !

:huh: :banghead:

I do believe she said she was being discrete? :chillpill:

[kiana]

No real need to feed the troll.

[Miss Peregrine]

:huh: :banghead:

I do believe she said she was being discrete? :chillpill:

 

Don't feed the troll (unless, of course, it has a blanket over its head.:D )

[Mrs Mungo]

Pound sand, troll.