So annoyed! Property manager is an idiot!

[Renthead Mommy]

I am so annoyed!  So last year the property manager came to do their yearly inspection.  A guy I met once a few months early for a brief few minutes in person.  He set an appointment to show up at 3:30.  He showed up at least 15 minutes early.  He didn't ring the door bell.  He didn't tell me he was here.  Instead he walked around the outside of the house, passing the school window where we were sitting and scared the crap out of me as he went past.  And at that point he was 'some guy wondering my yard' because the Jey the property manager wasn't due for another 15 mintues. 

 

It's daytime.  People are gone from houses.  A prime time for breakins.  I'm home with Collin.  There is a strange guy in my back yard.  

 

I go to the backdoor, with my phone just in case I need it.  Turns out it's the property manager.  I did tell him he scared me wondering around like that.  I also told him it was not a good idea because people have been shot for doing less. 

 

And in my opinion, as a real estate agent, he should know better than to do a stupid move like that.

 

So flash forward to this year.  He wants to set up another walk through.  First I said the date wouldn't work, then I emailed back and said it would work.   This was the email: 

I am not going to my meeting tomorrow, so I will be home tomorrow afternoon.  

 

Please do not wander through the yard without announcing yourself first.  That was very unsettling when you did that last year.   Women home alone, especially with children, do not take kindly to have strange men suddenly walking around their yard.   And a very dangerous practice. People have been shot for less. 

 

Please confirm if you can still do tomorrow. 

 

So he emails the husband and says that my email was threatening and unwelcome and he won't correspond with me anymore only him.  Hello! I was trying to do you a favor!  Something that as a real estate agent, going into houses and yard he should know better!  I'm not going to shoot you, but you keep pulling stuff like that someone might.  I am so annoyed!  David's calling him later, but I doubt I'll get an apology from him.  He's always 'be sure tell your friends my name if they are looking for a house!".  There was little chance that ever would have happened before.  It certainly isn't happening now!

 

But OMG! What an idiot! I am so pissed right now. He's making it out to David that I won't let him inspect, which is total bull. He's not very good at reading emails, I've learned that in the past. He asks questions already answered in the email he's replying to. He's the one that showed up early. He's the one that didn't have the common sense to say "Hi I'm here." 

Now he's getting all "I have the right to inspect the house with 24 hours notice and you don't have to be there." Well yeah, we know that. And I didn't say you couldn't. However now that you are acting all crazy, I certainly don't trust you alone in my house! 

But OMG, am I not right? Have people NOT been shot for doing less than walking, unannounced in someone's yard? Is that not the stupidest thing you ever heard? Go early to a house of someone you met once, where you know they are alone with a kid and wander around outside without telling them you are there. 

 

 

[Halftime Hope]

Who is David?

[Mandylubug]

I personally would never put the "people have been shot for less" in written form to anyone. I think it does come across oddly. I think it could have been dropped from the conversation and your point still made.

 

eta: and as a previous landlord, IF I did have an odd feeling of a tenant, not stating feeling threatened but if I didn't like the demeanor of conversations, etc. to the extent of not communicating with one directly anymore, I would not feel the need to renew the contract and would give notice to seek other housing arrangements. But that is me!

[Renthead Mommy]

Who is David?

 

 

That's my husband.  Sorry I cut some of it from another email. 

[indigomama]

 I wouldn't feel threatened, but certainly uncomfortable if someone mentioned that I could be shot in an email. I would also probably choose not to communicate further with that person. 

 

I do understand your point of having wanted warning and not wanting to be scared, but think you could/should have phrased things differently.

 

I think at this point, it might be a good idea to just let your husband handle things with this guy, it might just save all of you further frustrations.

[elegantlion]

I personally would never put the "people have been shot for less" in written form to anyone. I think it does come across oddly. I think it could have been dropped from the conversation and your point still made.

 

eta: and as a previous landlord, IF I did have an odd feeling of a tenant, not stating feeling threatened but if I didn't like the demeanor of conversations, etc. to the extent of not communicating with one directly anymore, I would not feel the need to renew the contract and would give notice to seek other housing arrangements. But that is me!

:iagree:

 

I would have left off the last two sentences and left it with the not taking kindly to people walking around the yard. 

 

He may not remember last year and any mention of "people have been shot for less" comes across as threatening. He doesn't know that you're a homeschooling mom who was giving him a nice warning. He could assume that you are antagonistic and armed with that wording. Your intentions may be benign, but he doesn't know that. 

 

 

[Renthead Mommy]

I personally would never put the "people have been shot for less" in written form to anyone. I think it does come across oddly. I think it could have been dropped from the conversation and your point still made.

 

eta: and as a previous landlord, IF I did have an odd feeling of a tenant, not stating feeling threatened but if I didn't like the demeanor of conversations, etc. to the extent of not communicating with one directly anymore, I would not feel the need to renew the contract and would give notice to seek other housing arrangements. But that is me!

 

 

Well it was a continuation of a conversation we had last year.  I had said the exact same thing to him when he was standing in my back yard.  

 

Well the contract is already renewed for two years.  He has issues because he doesn't want us talking to the owners.  Not going to happen as my husband and the owner wife are two of only 6 people that do their job in the AF so my husband talks to her almost daily.  

[8circles]

Well, to be honest, I think you're overreacting.  I can only answer from the perspective of where I live - & it wouldn't be unsettling to find a strange man wandering in my yard without telling me - especially if I was expecting someone to do just that 15 minutes later.  Even without the appt, there are several reasons why someone would do that.  Checking the meter, doing something with the phone/cable box, doing yardwork at a neighbors & needing to check the grade...  

 

The fact that you are mentioning this event which happened a year ago also seems odd to me.  I would definitely find the comment about getting shot threatening.

[Renthead Mommy]

:iagree:

 

I would have left off the last two sentences and left it with the not taking kindly to people walking around the yard. 

 

He may not remember last year and any mention of "people have been shot for less" comes across as threatening. He doesn't know that you're a homeschooling mom who was giving him a nice warning. He could assume that you are antagonistic and armed with that wording. Your intentions may be benign, but he doesn't know that. 

 

 

 

 

He does know I am home and homeschooling.  First off it says it on my phone message that we are doing school.  Also I had to have a conversation with him last year that he needed to come after school and that just becuase I was home, I needed to protect my time and he needed to treat my being home as me being at a job.  He also knows we are not armed because that was also discussed as the owners had tons of guns and ammo.

[TammyinTN]

He sounds like a wimp to me if that email bothered him.    I detest people showing up and walking around without my knowledge...I usually just let the dog out to cure it.  ;)

[Kathryn]

I'm sorry, I have to agree with everyone else. I can certainly see how that email could be taken as threatening. I understand that you didn't mean it to, but the written word must be used carefully.

[Renthead Mommy]

Well, to be honest, I think you're overreacting.  I can only answer from the perspective of where I live - & it wouldn't be unsettling to find a strange man wandering in my yard without telling me - especially if I was expecting someone to do just that 15 minutes later.  Even without the appt, there are several reasons why someone would do that.  Checking the meter, doing something with the phone/cable box, doing yardwork at a neighbors & needing to check the grade...  

 

The fact that you are mentioning this event which happened a year ago also seems odd to me.  I would definitely find the comment about getting shot threatening.

 

 

But that is exactly what people look like who are breaking in during the day.  That is the whole point. Daytime breakins are high. 

 

The reason I mentioned it this time was because I didn't want him doing it again.  I remember conversations, in very good detail (and often the clothes people were wearing).  I may not be able to remember other things, but I can give conversations back usually word for word.  It's just a thing I have.  That is why it came up again.  

[elegantlion]

He does know I am home and homeschooling.  First off it says it on my phone message that we are doing school.  Also I had to have a conversation with him last year that he needed to come after school and that just becuase I was home, I needed to protect my time and he needed to treat my being home as me being at a job.  He also knows we are not armed because that was also discussed as the owners had tons of guns and ammo.

 

I tend to extend a bit of grace to people who deal with people all day. Honestly, he's a guy, he may not remember the conversation. It sticks in your mind, but there is not guarantee that he hasn't forgotten. 

 

The other thing is people who deal with the public all day run into all kinds. They can't read our minds and an email like that would have me a bit concerned about showing up and being threatened. Men are people with emotions too. He may feel you are unfairly judging him based upon the fact he is a male and based upon an event from a year ago which he may or may not recall.  

[LaxMom]

So, you know what he looks like at this point, having had him out last year. I assume if you spotted him wandering past the window again, you could identify him.

 

I would think a request to come to the door to announce his presence if he's going to inspect the yard first, as you were quite startled at the sight of a stranger wandering the yard last year, would have sufficed.

[Dana]

Well, to be honest, I think you're overreacting. I can only answer from the perspective of where I live - & it wouldn't be unsettling to find a strange man wandering in my yard without telling me - especially if I was expecting someone to do just that 15 minutes later. Even without the appt, there are several reasons why someone would do that. Checking the meter, doing something with the phone/cable box, doing yardwork at a neighbors & needing to check the grade...

 

There's a difference between someone in a service uniform walking in your front yard or at the side of your house where meters might be and seeing someone suddenly in your back yard.

 

A couple years ago my son and I were eating lunch when someone walked across our deck...back yard, right past the windows where we were eating. It's years later and I can still easily remember how startled I was. That fear can easily turn to anger. The guy in my back yard was checking for termites and we do have a contract with them...but he should have come to the front door first and said he was here. We did have a discussion about that.

 

The impression I got from the OP was a situation similar to ours. I'd be furious.

[Acorn]

I think you are overreacting and did sound threatening.  Even though we own our home, we still know that utility employees from electric, gas, phone and cable companies have the right to be in our backyard without giving notice.  Sometimes I am startled by seeing someone out the window, but I wouldn't turn that to fear.

 

ETA: most of our utility companies do not have uniforms.  I usually figure out their purpose by their clipboard or tools.

[Renthead Mommy]

My point to him was meant that what he  is doing is dangerous.  

 

Home invasions and break ins  were on the news all the time.  People looking like they are supposed to be there are the ones doing it.  People on this board talk about their guns all the time.  Some for hunting, some for protection from animals on their land and some for protection from people.  In NY, you had guns for protection from people and some for hunting, but less so. (snakes and such not an issue where I come from).  I would expect more guns here.  Here we are in basically the country.  We are over 3 miles to stores and thing and no will even deliver this far out.  While it is a subdivision, it's still the country.  People having guns here for snakes and things as protection as well as hunting I would expect to be higher than Long Island/NJ.

 

 What he's doing is not a safe practice.  His whole point of coming was to come INSIDE the house.  Wandering around outside was not part of what what expected.  

 

Yes I know what he looks like now.  Yes I am expecting him and Yes, if he wandered around the back again, even at a non appointed time I would know who he was.  My point was please don't do it again.  And that doing what he does is just simply not safe.

[Murphy101]

I personally would never put the "people have been shot for less" in written form to anyone. I think it does come across oddly. I think it could have been dropped from the conversation and your point still made.

 

eta: and as a previous landlord, IF I did have an odd feeling of a tenant, not stating feeling threatened but if I didn't like the demeanor of conversations, etc. to the extent of not communicating with one directly anymore, I would not feel the need to renew the contract and would give notice to seek other housing arrangements. But that is me!

I agree. Terribly worded on her part and terribly improper reaction on his part too. Because they both live there and he will either need to figure out how to deal with her or evict them at some point. He doesn't get to refuse to communicate with her anymore than she has the option to refuse to communicate with him.

 

 

He sounds like a wimp to me if that email bothered him.    I detest people showing up and walking around without my knowledge...I usually just let the dog out to cure it.  ;)

And this too. He works with people all day very dayin a cut throat business, so grow some cajones already because tho she may not have handled it well, it's rather mild by real estate terms. There's not a doubt in my mind he has dealt with worse if he has been in the business for over a year.

 

What OP should have done is kept things professional.

 

"I would like to go ahead and do the inspection on ____ day at _____ time. Please come to the door and let me know you are on the property when you arrive. Please let me know if this date and time will work for you. Thank you."

 

The end. Whether he is stupid enough to wander people's property unannounced and risk getting shot is his problem. Keep it professional. Keep it brief. Keep it on the facts you need to impart or receive.

 

He does have the option to arrive with 24 hour notice whether you are home or not, but I wouldn't keep a lease, if i had a choice, with someone that insisted on being their when I could not be unless it was an emergency of some kind that couldn't be avoided. Most people don't like people in their home when they are not there, and renting doesn't change that fact of human nature.

[Cinder]

Well around here the meter reader (when we had one) wore a shirt or vest that said METER READER. And the termite guy always knocks to tell us he's there. And the lawn guy calls a day or two before to let us know he'll be there, but he doesn't knock once he arrives. I would be startled to see someone else walking around my yard though.

 

I agree with others that it was fine to ask him to knock to let you know he was around. But I would feel threatened--or at least definitely uncomfortable--if you told me people have been shot for less. Unless he wrote it down in your file and reviewed it before calling I doubt he remembers your conversation from last year. I bet he'll remember now, though.

[Mama Geek]

If he was there 15 minutes early and looking outside it really wouldn't bother me in the first place. We bought a foreclosed house a few years ago and have had some work done, it really isn't all that unusual. It is reasonable to let your dh deal with him.

 

My dh has the habit of say you need shot or you should be shot for doing something like that. However is in his 40's and has never shot anyone, he doesn't say that to people who don't know him at all and he would never write it to someone he barely knew. It is also not what he would say when being startled like that. Sometimes I shake my head at how often he says it and to who he says it to, but he has doesn't say it in anger or fear.

[Murphy101]

I live in a solidly middle class neighborhood and no service men ever wander our property without knocking on the door or sticking a notice of work order on the door the day before. We have a lock on our backyard gate, so no one is entering the backyard without notice unless they try to climb the brand new privacy fence. The minute I saw that ONCE, I had no qualms whatsoever about letting my dogs out in the yard. Note to the wise, English mastiffs are 200lb teddy bear lap dogs that are more likely to drown you in drool than bite you UNLESS she sees a strange head coming over our privacy fence. Then she will scare the bejeezus out of any sane person and make the entire fence shake with her jumping at it hard enough to knock him down. And the miniture poodle will be there ready to finish the job if necessary. Turns out it was the neighbor looking to see what improvements we'd made to the yard because they'd heard a lot of work going on back there.

[Shelly in IL]

I honestly think it is an odd comment.  And, to say it to him two times - once last year and once this year, and the current one being in writing, I think it is very threatening.  Especially in light of all the anti-gun hoopla!  I get your point, but I also think you need to think about how you say things to people.

[gingersmom]

If I said that to someone in my neck of the woods (or wrote it in an email) they would probably call the police on me. 

 

I would more likely threaten them with my German Shepherd. 

 

I had a crazy landlord who would go wandering around my house trying to look in the windows (thankfully they were too high to do him any good). 

[MyThreeSons]

He does know I am home and homeschooling.  First off it says it on my phone message that we are doing school.  Also I had to have a conversation with him last year that he needed to come after school and that just becuase I was home, I needed to protect my time and he needed to treat my being home as me being at a job.  He also knows we are not armed because that was also discussed as the owners had tons of guns and ammo.

You remember these conversations in detail because he is the only property manager you deal with. But I'm sure yours is not the only property he is managing. I wouldn't expect him to remember what happened a year ago.

[Hikin' Mama]

Another person who thinks you are overreacting. If there was a man in my yard 15 minutes before the property mgr. was supposed to do an inspection, I would assume that was who he was. I would probably open a window/door and ask just to clarify. Your e-mail was threatening. It would have been much better received if you had simply requested that he ring the doorbell and talk to you before he began the inspection.

[Lisa R.]

My point to him was meant that what he  is doing is dangerous.  

 

 

 

 What he's doing is not a safe practice.  His whole point of coming was to come INSIDE the house.  Wandering around outside was not part of what what expected.  

 

  My point was please don't do it again.  And that doing what he does is just simply not safe.

We understand what you meant to say because you explained the whole story to us. Also, while you remember the entire scenario and conversation from one year ago, it is likely this guy has completely forgotten. He shouldn't be blamed for not remembered what happened one year ago. 

 

Your email could be read two different ways: 1) you were giving a helpful but poorly worded warning for his benefit or 2) if he comes in your backyard again early or unannounced, you might shoot him.  In this case, I don't think I can blame the guy for reading it the second way. 

 

It is usually best for us not to take it upon ourselves to instruct other people in how they should do their business. We can ask others not to go in our backyards unannounced, but he is free to conduct himself this way as he manages other properties. While it is debatable whether it is unsafe to go into people's backyards unannounced or earlier than expected, he doesn't need or want advice on the specifics on how to do his job. 

 

It is fine to ask him not to go in your backyard again unless it is for an inspection at the agree-upon time.  That was all your email needed to say. Rather than get upset at this guy or the situation now, I think it would be best to see how you contributed to the conflict inadvertently by a poorly worded email. 

 

Conflict is a pain.

[Word Nerd]

I think you're overreacting and that your email does come across as antagonistic—and the shooting comment could be interpreted as hostile. There was no need to lecture him about something that happened last year. You already told him your concerns then. You also know what he looks like and should be expecting him, so what's the probem?

[Marylou]

My husband doesn't remember things I've told him yesterday, never mind last year!  

 

I agree with the others who say lecturing other adults about how to behave is generally unproductive.  And using the word "shot" is very scary to some people.

 

Just consider this one last thing you have on your plate to do!

[KungFuPanda]

I think he's going through your husband because he's concerned that some unbalanced lady is going to shoot him for being a few minutes early. You overreacted and you're still stuck on it a year later. You knew he was coming. It shouldn't be shocking that he showed up around the time you expected him rather than exactly on the dot.

 

I don't know you or your normal personality, but if the property manager is judging from this incident and the follow up, your reaction IS extreme. I think it's normal for him to proceed with caution. I would.

[TranquilMind]

 

I am so annoyed!  So last year the property manager came to do their yearly inspection.  A guy I met once a few months early for a brief few minutes in person.  He set an appointment to show up at 3:30.  He showed up at least 15 minutes early.  He didn't ring the door bell.  He didn't tell me he was here.  Instead he walked around the outside of the house, passing the school window where we were sitting and scared the crap out of me as he went past.  And at that point he was 'some guy wondering my yard' because the Jey the property manager wasn't due for another 15 mintues. 

 

It's daytime.  People are gone from houses.  A prime time for breakins.  I'm home with Collin.  There is a strange guy in my back yard.  

 

I go to the backdoor, with my phone just in case I need it.  Turns out it's the property manager.  I did tell him he scared me wondering around like that.  I also told him it was not a good idea because people have been shot for doing less. 

 

And in my opinion, as a real estate agent, he should know better than to do a stupid move like that.

 

So flash forward to this year.  He wants to set up another walk through.  First I said the date wouldn't work, then I emailed back and said it would work.   This was the email: 

I am not going to my meeting tomorrow, so I will be home tomorrow afternoon.  

 

Please do not wander through the yard without announcing yourself first.  That was very unsettling when you did that last year.   Women home alone, especially with children, do not take kindly to have strange men suddenly walking around their yard.   And a very dangerous practice. People have been shot for less. 

 

Please confirm if you can still do tomorrow. 

 

So he emails the husband and says that my email was threatening and unwelcome and he won't correspond with me anymore only him.  Hello! I was trying to do you a favor!  Something that as a real estate agent, going into houses and yard he should know better!  I'm not going to shoot you, but you keep pulling stuff like that someone might.  I am so annoyed!  David's calling him later, but I doubt I'll get an apology from him.  He's always 'be sure tell your friends my name if they are looking for a house!".  There was little chance that ever would have happened before.  It certainly isn't happening now!

 

But OMG! What an idiot! I am so pissed right now. He's making it out to David that I won't let him inspect, which is total bull. He's not very good at reading emails, I've learned that in the past. He asks questions already answered in the email he's replying to. He's the one that showed up early. He's the one that didn't have the common sense to say "Hi I'm here." 

 

Now he's getting all "I have the right to inspect the house with 24 hours notice and you don't have to be there." Well yeah, we know that. And I didn't say you couldn't. However now that you are acting all crazy, I certainly don't trust you alone in my house! 

 

But OMG, am I not right? Have people NOT been shot for doing less than walking, unannounced in someone's yard? Is that not the stupidest thing you ever heard? Go early to a house of someone you met once, where you know they are alone with a kid and wander around outside without telling them you are there. 

 

 

 

I understand your perspective, but you should not have used the phrase, "People have been shot for less", especially with someone you know to have poor reading comprehension. It sounds vaguely threatening. 

 

[TranquilMind]

I think he's going through your husband because he's concerned that some unbalanced lady is going to shoot him for being a few minutes early. You overreacted and you're still stuck on it a year later. You knew he was coming. It shouldn't be shocking that he showed up around the time you expected him rather than exactly on the dot.

 

I don't know you or your normal personality, but if the property manager is judging from this incident and the follow up, your reaction IS extreme. I think it's normal for him to proceed with caution. I would.

I have to agree.

He doesn't know you. 

[unsinkable]

If someone is shot for simply walking on someone's property, I'd question the sanity of the shooter.

 

The guy arrived within 15 minutes of his appointed time.

 

I can't imagine being so afraid, startled, upset, whatever by someone arriving at my house and walking in my yard when I was expecting someone to arrive within minutes.

[AK_Mom4]

Excellent advice here!  Keep all your written communications professional.

 

 

[Harriet Vane]

You are overreacting.

 

It's not that big a deal to show up a few minutes early to a scheduled appointment. :chillpill:

 

You are renting. You do not own your yard. You were given notice that there would be an inspection as the law requires. The inspector has every right to walk in the yard or anywhere on the property under those circumstances.

 

It is fine to ask him to ring your doorbell to let you know he is there just so you will not be startled, but it is not fine to talk about shooting. It comes across as hostile.

 

 

[creekland]

As a rental property owner... I agree with the majority.   We do have to do inspections on our properties periodically and tend to walk around the yard first when we are there.  Often the tenant meets us (hubby usually) in the yard and they chat before proceeding inside to take a quick look.  I seriously doubt hubby has always been there at the exact time things were scheduled.  None of our tenants have ever had an issue with how things have been done.  If someone had asked us to knock on the door first, of course that could happen.  If someone mentions shooting... that would make me pause and plant a seed of concern.  Few ever get shot walking in someone's yard - planned or not (none I know of around here).  Too many get shot by unhappy tenants in a conflict (one in the past year around here).

[Slipper]

Agreeing with the others. I understand what you meant about people being shot for less, however, it comes across as if you will be the one doing shooting. When I send emails, I try to re-read them as if a complete stranger read the letter. I want the letter to explain the situation and my concerns so that anyone would understand them. If I'm annoyed with someone, I typically try to inject some humor into the situation.

 

Also, servicemen (of all sorts) are notoriously early and late where I live. Fifteen minutes early is almost perfectly on time. If I know to expect someone on a certain day, I look for their arrival pretty much all day.

 

I think his reaction to your letter is normal, especially since he is male and you are female. You seem to indicate that he frightens you a bit (although I doubt he truly does scare you) and that's an uncomfortable situation for any man to be around.

[Harriet Vane]

On the other hand, why can't he just knock on the door and announce he is there?  What is the big deal?  Seems like common decency.  Yes they are renting, but they are still human beings so why not treat them like human beings?

 

I had one arse of a landlord who walked right in the apartment because I didn't answer the door.  I was in the shower! 

 

I did say it's fine to ask that he knock to let the tenant know he is there. Of course that is a reasonable request.

 

It's also reasonable for the property manager to arrive a few minutes early (it's not like he was an hour early) and reasonable for the property manager to walk in the yard.

 

Both perspectives are reasonable.

 

However, all the fear and talk of "people have been shot for less" is an overreaction. The tone of the original post and the email communication are needlessly angry and hostile.

[Slipper]

My understanding is that the incident happened last year and her comment was made this year. He may not remember what happened last year. Her reminder of the incident includes a comment about people being shot for less. I can see where he may wonder if she's threatening to shoot him if he doesn't knock first.

[Kathryn]

She was startled. I can imagine blurting something out in that state. It's easy when one is calm to realize how the comment might come across.

She wrote it in an email a year later.

[Harriet Vane]

She was startled.  I can imagine blurting something out in that state.  It's easy when one is calm to realize how the comment might come across.

 

I agree. However, writing that in an angry email a whole year later isn't appropriate.

 

At some point after the initial event the other perspective has to be considered--that he wasn't outrageously early, that he has the right to walk in the yard for a scheduled inspection, that while she was startled it's not that big a deal.

[Alexigail]

Isn't it common for an inspection to include a walk around the house?  Maybe he realized he was early and rather than ring your bell right then he decided to finish up outside.  I'm really trying to understand your reaction, but it seems way over the top, especially when a full year has passed.

[Slipper]

Wendy, I live in an area where shotguns are pulled out (day or night) the moment you see a stranger starting up the driveway (dirt roads=long driveways). Saying it with a smile or as a joke would probably have come across just fine. But when you write it, it comes across differently.

[happymomofboys]

"People have been shot for less."  I am trying to imagine a scenario where this would be the appropriate thing to say to an unfamiliar person outside of some type of gun safety training.  I am pro-2nd amendment and was raised in a family of gun owners, but we never talked about the possibility of a person being shot so casually.

[Renthead Mommy]

I said it to him last year and  I wrote it again in the email because I remember the converastion vividly.  

 

Like I said, shootings, home invasions and day time robberies are common.  

 

Living here in the county I would think even more people have guns.  If I'd met him in the back yard last year with a gun would that have been better?  

[Word Nerd]

I said it to him last year and  I wrote it again in the email because I remember the converastion vividly.  

 

Like I said, shootings, home invasions and day time robberies are common.  

 

Living here in the county I would think even more people have guns.  If I'd met him in the back yard last year with a gun would that have been better?  

 

As you said, you already had that conversation a year ago—so why are you still trying to teach him a lesson about how to properly conduct a walkthrough? He's a grown man, not your student or your employee. 

[Renthead Mommy]

I don't mind renting.  I don't even mind the inspections.  I mind him doing it stupidly and I mind taking offensive at something that was meant as a warning and not meant to be offensive. 

[planner]

Your request that he knock first is reasonable.  Your email was threatening.  I don't think you intended it to be, but it was.  I highly doubt the landlord remembers last year's inspection as well as you.

[Kathryn]

I don't mind renting. I don't even mind the inspections. I mind him doing it stupidly and I mind taking offensive at something that was meant as a warning and not meant to be offensive.

Meant as a warning?

[Lisa R.]

I don't mind renting. I don't even mind the inspections. I mind him doing it stupidly and I mind taking offensive at something that was meant as a warning and not meant to be offensive.

So, I'm curious. Based on the feedback you've received here, do you still think your email was appropriate? I get the feeling that you don't think you've contributed to the conflict that has occurred.

[bethben]

Our landlord came into our house without an appointment while dh and I were "occupied".  Walking in the yard unannounced was the least of our problems.

 

Beth