busymama7 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 My older boys are 11,13 and 16. There are 3 friends here right now. They swam in our inground pool for awhile but now they are all playing video games. I know it is a popular thing to do but I would love it if there were other things they did. This is every time they come over. Hours playing stupid games. I know the boys have unlimited access at home and do not do much else while at their house. I don't think banning games all together is the answer either for this situation or for my boys in general. But it bugs me. Isn't there anything else they can do?!?! I need ideas. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Are they having fun? Not damaging anything? If so, let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 My boys and their friends play D&D and other similar games. Among my circle of friends we regulate screen time fairly heavily. There is a big draw for Minecraft and other computer games etc, but we can very easily change their focus by suggesting a non-tech game. With friends who live in more rural areas, there is also some "LARP" which means Live Action Role Playing. That is pretty much D&D acted out. WarHammer, War Machine, D&D, Dr Who Role playing game (huge, huge hit), Mouseguard, Star Wars role playing game, etc etc. The games take hours and can run for months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 Sigh. I guess. I feel like it is a negative trend in general to not be able to do anything else. Games are very addictive. I guess part of it is I know these boys don't do anything at home. I would like to introduce other forms of relaxation and entertainment to them. Just lost at what that would be. I wasn't a teen boy ever ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 Double post. Oh but one more thing. These boys spend a lot of time at my house. Sometimes every day. And I don't want my boys playing that much. But don't want to be the meany either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tita Gidge Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Mine spend a lot of time outdoors - swimming, soccer, hoops, bikes, tennis, walking dogs, etc. My 11, 12, and 13 year olds still climb trees with friends and have water gun wars. Some of their friends start off thinking it's weird but when my older teens get in on the act, somehow it's less 'uncool' and more appealing LOL. I sometimes send them to the store to buy stuff for me, get them out of the house some but with a purpose - even if it's made up. One can never have too much butter ;) They also play video games, board games, and take things apart. Sometimes they'll put stuff back together. Sometimes they bake cookies or a cake for themselves. My 15 year old especially. His two best friends spend NO time in the kitchen at home, and they love making cookies. They get online and watch YouTube during the process, which is fine with me. I also put on movies - we're doing a MacGuyver marathon, so they're sitting around - watching, scheming, etc. Not ideal but (to me) preferable to too much time on a video game. I have a lot of boys and our house is a go-to house. I live walking distance from my brother, who also has teenage boys. My brother and I play soccer, so we often have pick up games between us in the yard. The boys always join in, even those who don't play soccer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Sigh. I guess. I feel like it is a negative trend in general to not be able to do anything else. Games are very addictive. I guess part of it is I know these boys don't do anything at home. I would like to introduce other forms of relaxation and entertainment to them. Just lost at what that would be. I wasn't a teen boy ever ;) I get what you are saying, but there really is no real need to direct the activities of boys that age. If they were younger my thoughts would be different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Double Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 There is a pond nearby they sometimes fish in. They play basketball. One friend had a pool table and the other a ping ping table - both are popular. We have a club they go work out at, though in small groups. My boys are both into music and like to 'jam' with friends. They do play video games, though my boys really just do that when friends are over or they are at their house. Because they don't seem that taken with gaming, it does not bother me when they want to do it. They might watch a movie. They are both 15. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Besides EAT, my 3 teen boys play wiffle ball and basketball, shoot tennis balls out of the 3-man slingshot and try to catch them (ds16 doesn't recommend substituting a cell phone for the tennis ball :huh: ), play a type of hide-and-seek tag after dark, and play pingpong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 I get what you are saying, but there really is no real need to direct the activities of boys that age. If they were younger my thoughts would be different. Really?!?! You are being serious? You don't limit an 11 year olds screen time? Even my 16 year old needs us to parent him still. No our house is not a free for all. Different strokes I guess ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Really?!?! You are being serious? You don't limit an 11 year olds screen time? Even my 16 year old needs us to parent him still. No our house is not a free for all. Different strokes I guess ;) I didn't micromanage how either of my boys spent time with friends at age 11 (assuming the chosen activity was legal/safe/didn't keep me awake/allowed at other times). By age 16 we were comfortable enough in our parenting to trust them to make decisions regarding "screen time". 16yos shouldn't need moms picking their activities when hanging out with friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 There is a pond nearby they sometimes fish in. They play basketball. One friend had a pool table and the other a ping ping table - both are popular. We have a club they go work out at, though in small groups. My boys are both into music and like to 'jam' with friends. They do play video games, though my boys really just do that when friends are over or they are at their house. Because they don't seem that taken with gaming, it does not bother me when they want to do it. They might watch a movie. They are both 15. Well my boys play too much even without their friends :( I don't know how to handle it. In the summer is really hard. We live where it gets over 110 in the summer. Other then swimming they can't really be outside. And certainly no nature to enjoy around here either. I have used the errand thing though and like that. Thanks for your thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 I didn't micromanage how either of my boys spent time with friends at age 11 (assuming the chosen activity was legal/safe/didn't keep me awake/allowed at other times). By age 16 we were comfortable enough in our parenting to trust them to make decisions regarding "screen time". 16yos shouldn't need moms picking their activities when hanging out with friends. 16 year old is my oldest. I am still figuring this out. But we have apparently done something wrong because without limits they would spend all their waking hours and into the middle of the night gaming. We have simple limits(chores first) and sometimes I just say no more. But they are not self limiting at all. I really don't know what else to do. I'm not trying to micromanage. Just having some ideas of things to have available or suggest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Lots of board games, card games, chess, legos (building, making movies & comics), nerf swords (on foot or on horseback), trampolining, bike riding, hole digging (for a while there DS and his 2 BFFs all had massive trenches going in their yards, lol), and building/making stuff (we always have tons of wood, cardboard, bungies, duct tape, assorted bands/clips/wires, glue gun, tools, etc.). We don't have video games here, although when DS goes to friends' houses, they often game for an hour or so at the end, but there's still plenty of running around, nerf wars, archery, trampolines, bikes, etc., before they plonk down in front of a screen. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 If you don't want them to play video games all day you are going to have to be the one to say no. If they know you mean it they will find other things to do. But I doubt you are going to change the dynamic by offering options without saying *no*. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccolopy Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 What interests do the boys have in common? My DS does different things, depending on which and how many friends are over. Three of his best friends are really into sports, so they'll often play soccer, basketball, or street hockey. Sometimes, they can spend hours just throwing a football or baseball around. Two of these guys are really into music, so the three of them can easily spend an entire rainy afternoon playing music, writing songs and goofing around with Garage Band. Another friend loves to work with his hands, so I give the boys projects and jobs around the house to do, or they come up with them on their own. DS and this friend (14yo) still play Lego, but they wouldn't admit it to the other guys. All of the boys watch sports on TV and usually put in a movie before bed (at least two of these four friends sleep at our house every weekend), but we don't own any violent video games, so they usually go somewhere else if they're in the mood to play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwg Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 At 16 I had a job, lol. But I was not a teen boy either ;) I have to limit mine now so I can see that when mine are teens not much will change. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Make food that should get them away from the game for a bit. We don't limit games here either, but it's not an issue. They get bored after a while and do something else. I wish we had a pool, ds would live in that, so would I for that matter. But yeah, 100+ degree heat is no fun to be outside. Popcorn or bacon seem to be favorites around here. Both have an aroma that kind of lure them from the lair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Some video games, basketball, board games like Apples to Apples (big hit w/ teens) card games, walk to the park to swim, air soft wars, or nerf wars. Go buy a bunch of cheap water guns..the big ones.. they can use those on hot days! It's hot here too- I'm in TX, and yes, they can go outside, just make sure they are hydrated- lot of water and popsicles! Are they into legos? Have them have building contests- marble runs, catapults, etc. Find some fun science expirements they can do, that won't blow up the house... hth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tita Gidge Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I love the ping pong table idea. I think I'm going to get one of those! You could do silly contests - building bridges with a $5 box of popsicle sticks, or the dropping the egg thing, build a house from cards, etc. Throw some snacks at them every once in awhile, put on some 70s rock, and they'll either love you or hate you LOL. Do you have an old video recorder? My boys use an old camcorder to make home movies or to film themselves doing stupid stunts on their skateboards and bikes. They have Amazing Race contests at the park, with my 12 year old hosting like he's that Phil guy (accent and all) and the other boys doing challenges. We sometimes watch them after dinner, but the boys love watching them as soon as they get home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 We have no yard, front or back, which made for a horrible situation, raising four children. Over the years of teen to young adulthood, the three boys have played Legos, Risk, chess, videogames, music CDs, watched DVDs. They often have logged long hours just talking. When they or friends acquired driver's licenses, trips to "Half-Price Books" became a favored entertainment, along with films at the "dollar theater". One son was a skilled guitarist, so we had to put up with "the amp years", along with visiting guitars. He's married and a few miles away now, so the musical entertainment from another son and his friends is at a lower volume because they play Irish whistles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Games have always been addictive. Board games, sports games, vid games... I'd be concerned the 11 yr old is playing too mature stuff hanging with teens, I'd keep an eye on that. But otherwise, whatever. What other stuff do you have for them to do? Board games? Card games? My boys loved learning to play poker. Foosball? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Another thought. Do they have too much free time? I think summer needs to be a mix of structured time and truly free time. I would be thinking about sports camps, a summer school class, even a job for the oldest. One of my sons trains in his sport 3 - 6 hours a day most days. He is injured right now, and IMHO watching too much tv. The other son practices his violin a hour or two a day. Both work out. One had a week long camp. The other travels for his sport, and both have a lot of school work because their private school requires a lot of them over the summer. When I look at my summer calendar, I want to see some weeks when my kids are pretty occupied. If I don't see that, I start brain storming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Well, my son is 13. He spends time with some boys older and some boys younger. Every family we know has limits on screen time no matter the ages of the children/teens. In our house, no screen time (except for school stuff) until 4:30. Even if we have a house full of boys the computer doesn't come on until 4:30 because that is the house rule. If they are at a friend's house they follow the rules of that house. Some have no screen when the sun is up, others only allow it on the weekends etc. But the rule is clear and easy to understand. If they know they can't have screen time until a certain time etc then they don't bother asking for it. I don't know any family that allows unlimited screen time, but it's not like I know that many people. And I understand not wanting to be 'the mean one' but have a house rule, not just for friends and then there is less to bother with. No screen time until such and such a time and done discussion. And if you argue I make you wait 15 mins longer. it sounds more like the boundaries on screen time for your family haven't been that clear or haven't needed to be that clear in the past. I think you need to decide what works for your family and then worry about what happens with friends. Once you get clear about what works for your home everything else will fall into place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 it sounds more like the boundaries on screen time for your family haven't been that clear or haven't needed to be that clear in the past. I think you need to decide what works for your family and then worry about what happens with friends. Once you get clear about what works for your home everything else will fall into place. I think you are exactly right here. Thank you for understanding where I was coming from. We have done different things for limits and right now are just floundering. One thing I didn't like was when we had a 3:00-5:00 rule they drug their feet with school work all day and laid around etc until exactly 3 and then played till I made them turn it off at five. That is our prime free time and most of the year it is beautiful out but because they knew that was the only time they could play that is what they did. The whole time everyday. So it was driving me batty and we went on a one month fast in may. It was wonderful :). It got the little kids out of the habit of hiding out with my kindle or iPhone and my boys were finding other things to do. Even reading sometimes :) But now we have allowed them again and I hate it. I hate seeing all that time wasted. The little kids aren't playing much still thankfully. Our games are very tame. Right now they are into ace of spades which I don't like but it is not gory or anything. We don't allow any mature games and only a couple teen ones(star wars). So it's not much of a problem with the varying ages. My little boy(5) is not allowed to play the shooting games as I feel it is just too much at his age and they are supposed to only play when he isn't aroud(napping or in bed etc). That wasn't happening today which was part of my annoyance. And I am ok being tough and making them turn it off. But I couldn't figure out what they would be doing instead. They had already swam, the littles had the TV and we are living in a temp rental without all of our stuff. No yard aside from the pool. Thank you to those who responded and gave ideas. It was helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Our rule is no computer is on when friends are over. Period. It's worked beautifully. Yesterday we had 3 wonderful young men in our home for almost 3 hours. During that time they had a major pencil war (unsharpened pencils and rubber bands...too much fun), some kind of game with Dominos (not a tame game by any means, lol), played "spoons" and poker, and just hung out and chatted with the other dc and me. It was a lovely time. Given the limited screen time my dc get (30 minutes/day on non-school days; none on school days), not having the computer/game system on hasn't been an issue, thank goodness. The older my dc get (the boys, especially), the more I see the blessing in limiting screen time for them and not allowing it to be their go-to activity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhschool Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 What about board / card games? They can take hours and hours. ----- What about clay? Sculpey? It's fun even if you're not a young kid. ----- Do teens paint? I don't know I guess. But would they, if you got some paints? ------ I like the idea of baking stuff while watching Youtube videos. They don't have to be dumb videos--there is cool stuff sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Urgh, most of Indy's friends have unlimited screen time and it makes me crazy. I limit screen time in our house, though James Bond thinks it's silly. Indy works out with me in the mornings (M-F), and for every work out, he gets 30 minutes of video game time to use on the weekend (no video games on weekdays) and for every extra 15 push ups or sit ups, he gets 10 minutes (limited to 2 sets/day). He gets to split it up any way he wants on Sat and Sun, but when it's gone, it's gone. His friends play video games all day during the summer, but know I don't allow it here. If they come here, they play Legos, card games (UNO is everyone's favorite), board games or just go outside. I don't know what we'll do when he's a teen, but I know it won't be video games all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 sigh! My boys have no friends. We live rural, after years of no friends my boys are very close and do a lot of things together. The 2 teens at home are right into motion sensor cameras to take photos of animals. their target animal is deer. they spend hours o setting them up etc. every day. They also play a fair amount of PC games. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I'm with you, it's hard, since most of DS12's friends have unlimited screen time. But Nerf battles are still big here - we are fortunate to have a large tract of woods across the street to play in, and I'm happy to buy as many darts as necessary to keep them out and about. We have lots of sports stuff, but they don't really play with it, and although DS loves board games, the friends get "bored." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspasia Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 When I was a teenager, my guy friends had a big fascination with Risk. They played it all. the. time. They also liked to make movies--really funny ones. My brothers played a lot of basketball in the driveway and they liked to cook/bake. I think that's a great idea for initially pulling your boys away from the video games. What teenage boy wouldn't do a little work for some cookies? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Lots of board games, card games, chess, legos (building, making movies & comics), nerf swords (on foot or on horseback), trampolining, bike riding, hole digging (for a while there DS and his 2 BFFs all had massive trenches going in their yards, lol), and building/making stuff (we always have tons of wood, cardboard, bungies, duct tape, assorted bands/clips/wires, glue gun, tools, etc.). We don't have video games here, although when DS goes to friends' houses, they often game for an hour or so at the end, but there's still plenty of running around, nerf wars, archery, trampolines, bikes, etc., before they plonk down in front of a screen. Jackie I agree with the board game thing. My husband and I have a large amount of board games. Not now since we don't know any teens, but several years ago at family functions a couple of the boys would stick to him like glue to talk board games. Then if they got a chance to play they were doubly happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I guess we're a little opposite, because we limit screen time *except* when they have friends over. For DS, it's what they like to do. They hang out and play, laugh, talk, snack-- it's not like they're staring at the screen not interacting with their friends; for them it IS an interactive social activity. Sometimes, especially if the weather's not great, they'll play a long time. But we also have a pool and they can just as easily spend hours out swimming in the summer; and, when DD has friends over too (they all know each other) the whole group likes to play capture the flag or some other made-up game outside. They'll even play capture the flag in the dead of winter. I guess I just don't see it as a big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 At 16 I am not micromanaging screen time or his activities at all really. When my kids have friends over they play video games, basketball, soccer, made up games and generally goof off. Who cares? I don't have specific limits either, because my boys are not particularly into video games. But setting some limits and brainstorming alternatives may be reasonable in some families. I always feel that words like 'micromanage' imply that a mother asking for ideas is some kind of control freak. "I don't micromanage" seems to hint that perhaps the other people who DO have limits and rules are micromanaging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 We limit screen time for the 13 yo, the 18 yo is so busy if he wants to veg in front of a screen, I'm o.k. with that. Our boys continue to help us work on the house. ds 18 did some drywalling last week and currently they are both scraping and priming the exterior. They have both built projects from the Ana White site, and I require reading daily (though they usually do that on their own). But if they are doing too much screen and not enough reading they have to read something I recommend. They also have done drama camp already and are doign Shakespeare Camp in a couple of weeks (lots of memory work), plus comp. programming class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busymama7 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Share Posted June 23, 2013 I don't have specific limits either, because my boys are not particularly into video games. But setting some limits and brainstorming alternatives may be reasonable in some families. I always feel that words like 'micromanage' imply that a mother asking for ideas is some kind of control freak. "I don't micromanage" seems to hint that perhaps the other people who DO have limits and rules are micromanaging. Thank you! I was trying really hard not to be offended. I appreciate you sticking up for me ;) And as I stated in my original post, it is not just the 16 year old either. I have 8 kids and 5 of them boys this is affecting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 When he has down time he plays video games, eats and sleeps. I don't particularly care for the video games but he plays them online so he is able to play with his friends from school or boys he has met through scouting activities. DS is involved in scouts which keeps him fairly active during the summer. So far he has camped, hiked, played capture the flag, gone swimming, and much more. When he is not doing something with scouts he plays tennis, walks his dog, and goes bike riding. He used to take drum lessons and participate in local drum circles but he gave it up this summer. :( If he wasn't involved in scouting, he would have been working. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Teen boys don't come here, my house is too borning. Teen girls like to because I let them bake and whatnot. When ds goes to other people's homes though they generally have a trampoline. The boys jump on those things for hours, go for bike rides. Yesterday was learning to quad, a few days before was exploring an abandoned junk yard (they think it is haunted, I think it is an accident waiting to happen-but as long as they are not damaging things I figure their tetanus shots are up to date, let them explore). Video games are played for sure, they can play them at home, but playing multiplayer with your friends is WAY more fun than playing them by yourself. Today when ds gets home from work he and a few other boys have plans to play a video game to see who can have bragging rights as the best player. All 3 have the same game at home and play all the time, all 3 think they are best, now they will figure out for sure. Which means the 3 of them will likely be playing that game for hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I have a couple of teen boys that come over daily to hang out with my boys. They usually play video games as yours do. When I feel like they've been on screens too much, I usually tell them to wrap it up and find something else to do. They're pretty receptive but I don't know if that's because I've usually let them play for a few hours before I say something. As Swellmomma mentioned it is a lot of fun for them to play multiplayer with/against each other. They'll play 1 v. 1, 2 v. 2, or online as a team against other players. There's lots of talking, laughing, and ribbing going on so it feels more interactive to me than just zoning out in front of the screen. When they move on from the video games they might play a card or board game, go out and shoot hoops, ride rip sticks, take a bike ride, try to organize Capture the Flag or some other "big game" with other neighborhood kids or play airsoft. I don't suggest the activity just tell them they need to turn off the screen. If someone complains about there being nothing else to do (usually one of my kids) I just tell them they're smart guys and I'm sure they can figure something out, and they usually do. In your situation, when you're tired of them being on the screens, I'd just tell them it's time to move on and let them figure out what they want to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 We have a shelf full of games-Munchkin, Magic, Apples to Apples, Card against humanity (only for the adults!!), and several other independent games. Get a gift card to the local game store and have them pick out some fun ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 These suggestions probably aren't worth much since our family is so weird, but all of our boys are working on science projects...good geek stuff. Robotics, balsa gliders - self-designed working on maximum distance or time aloft. Short story writing is another activity as well as playing basketball and swimming at a friend's house. Euchre, Pinocle, nature hikes, flies and grounders, long bikes rides - usually six to eight miles, reading, walking the dog, low temp metal casting, and dissections....word of warning on dissections - KEEP THE AIR CONDITIONING ON. Yeah, note to self, if a speciman is half done and laying in it's pan on the dining room table, and it's 87 out, and the humidity is 100%, and you all leave for many, many hours, and decide to save the electricity and the environment by keeping the air off, then be prepared for a bit of a hairy odor and a rather sad, starting to decompose squid when you come home. If you know someone with a nice root cellar,you could ask to leave it there, but generally, it takes a special relationship with the owner in order to approach with this, "Can I leave a half-dissected squid next to your canned cherries?" Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I guess we're a little opposite, because we limit screen time *except* when they have friends over. For DS, it's what they like to do. They hang out and play, laugh, talk, snack-- it's not like they're staring at the screen not interacting with their friends; for them it IS an interactive social activity. Sometimes, especially if the weather's not great, they'll play a long time. But we also have a pool and they can just as easily spend hours out swimming in the summer; and, when DD has friends over too (they all know each other) the whole group likes to play capture the flag or some other made-up game outside. They'll even play capture the flag in the dead of winter. I guess I just don't see it as a big deal. I couldn't agree with this more! :) It was what I was thinking last night when I was GOING to reply (then I discovered my wireless keyboard had dead batteries and we had no AAs in the house! lol). I don't have teenagers yet, but I certainly don't see anything wrong with them playing games when their friends are over. My younger brother used to have friends over (technically it was my BIL) and they would stay up all night playing Risk. Which is a board game, obviously - I honestly see no difference. So many of these games are SO much fun to play together. I remember playing with my cousins when I was about 11-14, and it was a great way for us to have fun together. I don't really understand the idea (not specifically that of the OP, just a general thing I've noticed) of structuring time for teenagers when they have friends over. Little kids, I understand. But I'm sort of more free range than most - I don't structure my own kids' time when we don't have school stuff or extracurriculars, so I don't see why I would with friends over, either. When my boys have friends come over, we kick them outside and don't let them in (I'm only half kidding! :lol: )... and that's made our house relatively popular. ;) I definitely can't imagine structuring their time when they get older - I'll just provide food and let them do what they want. But that's just me - it takes all kinds. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I definitely can't imagine structuring their time when they get older - I'll just provide food and let them do what they want. But that's just me - it takes all kinds. :) I suppose it depends on how long your kid has friends over for. When my brother was a teen he had his friend over, or was at his friends house for a total of about 40 hours a week. They both became GREAT at a sega (video game on tv) hockey playing game. But I know my Mom was always annoyed at the wasted time. At one point she calculated it as my brother spending more time playing sega games than her nephew spend in all class time total needed to get his PHD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Play Pathfinders and some other card game whose name escapes me, swim or bike (12 yo), watch movies and video game plenty. It seems the more people there are the more fun it is I am told. This is not limited to teen boys, it's what my 9 and 5 yo's friends want to do too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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