Do you think this article is accurate? Kids and p0rn

[Just Kate]

I just came across this article and it has me thinking. Of course I am aware that some kids will view p0rn on the Internet. However, this article states that MOST kids will. I'm not so sure I agree with this (at least, I hope it's not true!). I am interested in others' thoughts on this article. Is it inevitable? Is there nothing we can do to protect our kids?

 

http://www.today.com/tech/internet-porn-means-birds-n-bees-talk-comes-earlier-says-1C8793602

[Slipper]

Without reading the article, I agree that most kids will trip across the bad stuff on the internet at some point. My husband is a computer guy and we have protections and blocks on the laptops that the girls use. My middle daughter was googling 'origami' and had some nasty pop-ups come up. They scared her and she was worried she would be in trouble (she wasn't). The internet is so bad that I don't think p0rn is preventable at some point.

[Dana]

I think most will see porn. Even if you use blocking web filters, stuff gets through.

We will keep lines of communication open, talk about the difference between reality and fantasy, and discuss some of the realities of the porn industry.

[Dmmetler]

I would think eventually it will happen. FWIW, we had the "birds and bees" talk when DD discovered that animal focused web sites included a lot of very specific information about breeding, and started asking a lot of questions. Not porn, exactly, but not filtered to age appropriateness, either in the same way that reading the "World Book" vs "Encyclopedia Brittanica" was when we were in school!

[Parrothead]

Well, anything over 50% can be labeled as "most" so...

 

Truthfully, I think most people with access to computers view porn either willingly or not.

[Parrothead]

I would think eventually it will happen. FWIW, we had the "birds and bees" talk when DD discovered that animal focused web sites included a lot of very specific information about breeding, and started asking a lot of questions. Not porn, exactly, but not filtered to age appropriateness, either in the same way that reading the "World Book" vs "Encyclopedia Brittanica" was when we were in school!

 

I think most of my school got their "porn" from the Nat Geo in the library. :laugh:

[Dandelion]

Is it inevitable?

 

I wouldn't say it's 100% inevitable, but it's probably close.

 

Is there nothing we can do to protect our kids?

 

Unfortunately, even the best internet filters still let some porn through. Aside from keeping kids completely off the web, or standing right behind them whenever they're on it, I don't think there's any failsafe way to prevent kids from being exposed to porn online.

[DianeW88]

I think most kids will see it at some point or another. It always amazes me what trash can come up in a google search. I see garbage almost every time I'm researching something.

[Mergath]

Sounds right to me. Of course, it depends on your definition of porn- are we talking about the naughty ads you see alongside certain websites, or a feature-length film?- but it's amazingly easy to end up staring at either one. My dd has ended up at the most random sites just from accidently navigating away from Starfall via the bookmars bar and then trying to get back again. (Not porn- obviously we don't have porn bookmarked in our browser, lol.) And she's only four. I can just imagine what a kid who was actively looking out of curiosity could find.

[maize]

We're super careful around here but even my kids have been exposed. Yes I think most kids will come across it, and I believe there needs to be open communication within the family from very early on so the kids aren't left to navigate the issue alone.

[Guest inoubliable]

Is it inevitable? Is there nothing we can do to protect our kids?

 

 

 

 

Is it inevitable? Yes.

Is there nothing to be done that protects kids? Sure. When it happens, don't make your kids feel like they did something wrong. Be open and willing to have discussion about it. And, for the sake of all you find holy, try not to get all worked up over bare chested NatGeo ladies or marble statues from long ago. Understand the difference between nudity and porn. Then you can have honest conversations about how damaging porn can be and why your house rules are the way they are instead of fostering guilt and shame. (Note, I'm not directing this to anyone in particular.)

[Trish]

Also, no matter how many filters, precautions you have at home, eventually they will get to an age where their friends will have unfiltered smart phones and tablets.

[Anne in CA]

Sadly, all of my kids have seen porn on the internet at some point. Each time they came running to me or dh yelling to get us to make it go away, but it is sooo easy to stumble onto without the right shields. One day during dinner I saw that ds (then 5) was sitting with a blank look on his face not eating anything. Finally I followed his train of vision and saw that the computer screen across the room from his was full on porn, the nastiest kind. It took dh and his friends from work a long time to get rid of those files.

[Elinor Everywhere]

 

 

Is it inevitable? Yes.

Is there nothing to be done that protects kids? Sure. When it happens, don't make your kids feel like they did something wrong. Be open and willing to have discussion about it. And, for the sake of all you find holy, try not to get all worked up over bare chested NatGeo ladies or marble statues from long ago. Understand the difference between nudity and porn. Then you can have honest conversations about how damaging porn can be and why your house rules are the way they are instead of fostering guilt and shame. (Note, I'm not directing this to anyone in particular.)

 

I agree. When my kids were 7 we spent a month in Italy, and the family still laughs at my daughter's comment: Mommy, why are there peni*** everywhere? :lol: By the end of the month she was barely noticing - all those statues seemed normal to her. Nudity is not the same as porn!

[KungFuPanda]

Some horrific stuff came up when I was searching for Girl Scout information back when I was a brand new leader. I'm talking multiple screens popping up and you can't close them! DH had to rescue me. After that I warned the parents not to let their daughter seek out GS stuff unsupervised.

[Joker]

I think it's becoming increasingly hard to avoid it even if you don't want to see it. Stuff seems to pop up all the time on what should be a safe search.

 

We've had so many discussions with our dds about careful internet searching (and why) that oldest dd will ask me to search something new for her. If I do a few searches and nothing bad pops up, she'll take over. :tongue_smilie:

[Janie Grace]

Why is it inevitable? I am 37 years old and I have never seen internet p*rn. Not once. I use the internet constantly. It's pretty clear to me by the google descriptor whether a site is clean or not.

 

I realize it's prolific and we need to educate our kids and be watchful, but I don't agree that it's inevitable, if you're careful.

[Joker]

Why is it inevitable? I am 37 years old and I have never seen internet p*rn. Not once. I use the internet constantly. It's pretty clear to me by the google descriptor whether a site is clean or not.

 

I realize it's prolific and we need to educate our kids and be watchful, but I don't agree that it's inevitable, if you're careful.

 

 

Were you on the boards that day not long ago when a spammer posted actual pics in a thread? I'm careful too but I so didn't see that coming.

[Janie Grace]

Were you on the boards that day not long ago when a spammer posted actual pics in a thread? I'm careful too but I so didn't see that coming.

 

 

Yikes, no! Glad I wasn't around.

[Guest inoubliable]

Why is it inevitable? I am 37 years old and I have never seen internet p*rn. Not once. I use the internet constantly. It's pretty clear to me by the google descriptor whether a site is clean or not.

 

I realize it's prolific and we need to educate our kids and be watchful, but I don't agree that it's inevitable, if you're careful.

 

 

Really? You've never gotten a pop-up virus, or a redirect virus? You've never used Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, or Youtube? You've never googled an African language?

[Alte Veste Academy]

This is why my kids don't use the internet at all yet. And why I disable it whenever I walk away.

[nono]

Really? You've never gotten a pop-up virus, or a redirect virus? You've never used Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, or Youtube? You've never googled an African language?

 

 

Or the term "water sports" back in the 90s before more general safe browsing standards were in place!

 

Learned a whole lot in under a minute that day. I was an adult working in technology (so fairly internet savvy) and wanted to find retailers who specialized in water sporting equipment. Instead, I found out I'm one of the saner people on the planet.

 

:bored:

[Guest inoubliable]

I think it was more deliberate than accidental, is my point. And I think it's more older kids, than younger.

 

 

Which is yet another reason why parents need to talk to their kids about boobies and weenies instead of blushing and stammering.

[4kidlets4me]

Why is it inevitable? I am 37 years old and I have never seen internet p*rn. Not once. I use the internet constantly. It's pretty clear to me by the google descriptor whether a site is clean or not.

 

I realize it's prolific and we need to educate our kids and be watchful, but I don't agree that it's inevitable, if you're careful.

 

 

 

Same here I have never accidentally stumbled on it. I have all pop ups blocked and never get a pop up on any site.

[Guest inoubliable]

Or the term "water sports" back in the 90s before more general safe browsing standards were in place!

 

Learned a whole lot in under a minute that day. I was an adult working in technology (so fairly internet savvy) and wanted to find retailers who specialized in water sporting equipment. Instead, I found out I'm one of the saner people on the planet.

 

:bored:

 

 

Yikes!

I was working for a language company in D.C. and had to find a Mandingo interpreter for a client. Yeah... that google search was interesting.

[Guest inoubliable]

 

Agreeeeeeed. Have I given the impression that I am the blushing type?

 

 

Ha! No, I wasn't directing that to you. :) I should have been more clear.

[MistyMountain]

Really? You've never gotten a pop-up virus, or a redirect virus? You've never used Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, or Youtube? You've never googled an African language?

 

It hasn't happen to me either. I do use Pinterest and Facebook and do lots of google searches.

[Excelsior! Academy]

I have accidentally come across p0rn more than once. Really. Maybe I am just really naive. When my 16 year-old was 2 I googled American Girl. I was thinking dolls. That is not what came up. at. all.

 

It depends on your definition of porn, but I can't even look up a lot of news sites without stumbling across stuff that throws me out of my comfort zone.

[Chelli]

It hasn't happen to me either. I do use Pinterest and Facebook and do lots of google searches.

 

:iagree: I'm on the computer all the time. I use quite a bit of social media since I blog and all. I even watch all of my TV online since we don't have cable or satellite. I can't remember the last time I had automatic p*rn pop ups. It's been years.

[dbmamaz]

honestly, i cant remember the last time i'd accidentally seen something xrated . . . probably over 10 years? just asked the 10 yo . . . he claims he once accidentally clicked on a video he didnt want to watch on youtube, but i dont think there is much x-rated on youtube? probably more heavy R

[Guest inoubliable]

I think a lot of the responses to "have you ever seen porn on the internet by accident?" are going to vary on what someone considers porn. Just saying.

[*Michelle*]

No accidents here. We have ad and pop up blockers, plus I set our search engine to strict filter.

[Chelli]

I think a lot of the responses to "have you ever seen porn on the internet by accident?" are going to vary on what someone considers porn. Just saying.

 

That is probably true. I only consider it p*rn if there is any nudity (ETA: I meant sexual content only, not art, etc.) at all, male or female. Being scantily clad is not classified as p*rn by me. Still I've not seen pop-ups or ads of pictures or films of nudity in years.

[Chelli]

Ok, is anyone reading me? I saw it HERE. I have all the blockers, etc. etc. It can happen anywhere despite that. Honestly!

 

I hear what you're saying. I know it can happen anywhere. I'm just relating that it hasn't happened to me in years and I'm on the internet for hours every day.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Which is yet another reason why parents need to talk to their kids about boobies and weenies instead of blushing and stammering.

 

If only it were that simple. My kids and I have talked openly about these things for years (using real words) and I am not the least bit shy, hesitant, or intimidated by the conversations. I am not embarrassed about the subject in any way. They know about the human body, loving relationships, how babies are made, etc., but I would absolutely consider the viewing of hard-core images as an injury to my children at this age.

[dbmamaz]

oh, to me nudity isnt porn. porn is explicitly se*ual content. someone on a nude beach is not porn, for example. but i'm super careful about where I go on search engines and not clicking attachments and i have high quality virus protection and . . i really wonder what the title was on the thread here lol . . . glad i missed it. tho again . . who knows if i would have considered it porn

[Guest inoubliable]

If only it were that simple. My kids and I have talked openly about these things for years (using real words) and I am not the least bit shy, hesitant, or intimidated by the conversations. I am not embarrassed about the subject in any way. They know about the human body, loving relationships, how babies are made, etc., but I would absolutely consider the viewing of hard-core images as an injury to my children at this age.

 

 

Yes, yes. My point was that a parent who HAS had those talks with their children and don't shy away from anything that involves nudity and/or sex are in a much better position to have a discussion with their kids when they run across porn on the internet. I never said that because a child knows about sex and the human body that seeing hard-core porn online wouldn't be damaging. Good grief.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Yeah those conversations sure are difficult!

 

LOL I think they're a breeze. Don't know why, really, except maybe it is the lingering irritation that the only talk my parents ever had with me was when they bought my sister and me a book. It was something like...let me see if I can recall the exact wording..."here." :lol: Then I was handed Where Did I Come From and that was that. Why thanks, parental units! LOL DH does think it is funny how it doesn't make me twitchy, but I am just grateful for it.

[Janie Grace]

 

Really? You've never gotten a pop-up virus, or a redirect virus? You've never used Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, or Youtube? You've never googled an African language?

 

 

Really. No to the viruses. I have been sent all kinds of spam links that obviously lead to p*rn. I don't click on them. I have used Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube. I have never seen p*rn.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Yes, yes. My point was that a parent who HAS had those talks with their children and don't shy away from anything that involves nudity and/or sex are in a much better position to have a discussion with their kids when they run across porn on the internet. I never said that because a child knows about sex and the human body that seeing hard-core porn online wouldn't be damaging. Good grief.

 

Geez. Thought you were being nice and agreeable up until the good grief. I wasn't arguing, just making a point.

[Guest inoubliable]

Geez. Thought you were being nice and agreeable up until the good grief. I wasn't arguing, just making a point.

 

 

I was being nice and agreeable.

[dbmamaz]

i find the talks easy . . . until they start talking about their own needs :blush:

[goldberry]

I think that the probability is significant enough that you should without a doubt have the conversation with your child and not assume that you can protect them from it instead.

 

A kid today typing "p3nis" into a search engine is the same curiosity as us looking it up in the dictionary and giggling over it when we were kids. Even if you have a perfect child and they never, ever do such a thing, they still stand a high chance of being exposed accidentally. Either way, they are going to be exposed to alot more perverted stuff than we were, and I think we need to be proactive in explaining it.

 

Those that have been on the internet for years and never exposed, I'm truly surprised at that. I have been exposed on a work computer with all sorts of high-dollar filtering. I actually came across a site recently looking up informations about glaciers...WTH? It's pitiful.

 

ETA, as DD has gotten older we focus more now on what to do if it comes up, and also the reasons why it's so destructive in the first place. We even exchanged NetNanny (with better filter) for Webwatcher (which is not as good of a filter but logs every single thing way better than NetNanny). The point was, she is going to have this freedom at some time and in some circumstance, she needs to learn to handle it. I need to see how she is progressing with that and guide her if she is having trouble.

[Dory]

I don't agree that it's inevitable. The only time I have had pop ups was on a computer that I know someone had previously been purposefully looking for porn. On clean computers with proper filters I have simply never had any of that stuff, and I am an avid computer user. I have an extremely low tolerance to anything that might be thought of as porn because of my background.

I think that it's pretty hard to always protect your kids from it as they might see it at a friends house or a friends phone. I am fully expecting to have some odd conversations with my kids eventually. I've had a few young kids that trust me come to me asking about it because they stumbled onto it on a friends computer and they had questions they were nervous to ask their parents. It's rather uncomfy to be the go between helping kids learn to communicate to their parents about s*x. I really hope the lines of communication are a little more open between me and my kids.

[Barb_]

Don't forget that children are more likely than adults to run across it by mistake. We can look at the preview and have a pretty good idea of what to expect (although even that is no guarantee), but a 7-9 year old child won't be that savvy. Or she's watching my little pony on YouTube and one click follows another until suddenly it isn't my little pony any more. Or poor spelling leads a child to the wrong site. Not as much of an issue with an adult. I never run across p*rn myself, but so far 4 out of six of my internet-aged kids have seen some pretty hard core stuff at one point or another. The stuff is specifically seeded to pull in unsuspecting searchers, especially children. That's why a misspelling when searching for Girl Scouts or American girl can land a kid someplace she really doesn't want to be.

 

Or they could be like my son with the budding interests and good Internet skills. He typed in bo*bs-dot-com. Eye roll. That was the beginning of a weird couple of weeks.