NotSoObvious Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 We went to stupid America's Best the other day because I just wanted to check my twins' prescriptions and order new glasses, if needed. It was just easier than trying to get into their regular optometrist and America's Best was giving free eye exams anyway. Well, I got what I paid for. Poor dd10 has a *severe* speech delay and dyspraxia- it's hard for her to talk and she struggles with motor planning. We've never had any issues at the eye doctor though and she's been wearing glasses for 5 years. The older female optometrist (who made sure I knew she used to be a teacher) spoke SO quickly, I could hardly understand her. She got frustrated with dd because she couldn't answer fast enough. Apparently this lady was all about getting people to say whether or not the image was fuzzy as FAST as possible, to be more accurate?? I've never had this experience. DD was trying as hard as she could and the optometrist kept telling her she wasn't fast enough. At one point she told dd she wasn't going to give her a prescription if she couldn't answer fast enough. The doctor was visibly irritated and really rude. It all happened within 5 minutes, and I could tell dd was ok and really just trying to do what was asked of her. After the appointment, dd said she was fine and didn't care. But now I'm MAD. I'm mad at the doctor for treating a child that way and I'm mad that I didn't immediately stop the doctor and correct her. Oh, and the best part? At the end of the appointment, the doctor asks if I've had her hearing checked (right in front of dd). I calmly replied that she struggles with her speech and left it at that. I just wanted to get out of there! Lesson learned. I'll be prepared next time. I'm always just so shocked when people behave this way, I question whether I am reading them correctly. It isn't until after the situation is over that I realize what complete morons they are. Should I leave it alone or write a letter to the facility, complaining about our treatment and reminding them not all disabilities are visible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I'm not sure whether I would send the letter to corporate headquarters with a "cc" to the local facility, or whether I would address the letter to local, with a "cc" to corporate. Whatever the decision, I would send a letter. If this happened once, it will happen again (and likely has happened before). Your daughter sounds like a trooper with a good attitude! Should I leave it alone or write a letter to the facility, complaining about our treatment and reminding them not all disabilities are visible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misty.warden Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I would formally complain, including specific details and the woman's name, to the management. Threatening to withhold a prescription and being rude to a child is disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Yes, I would definitely complain. For other appointments in the future, I might mention her speech issues when making an appointment. I definitely wouldn't return there. How incredibly rude! :grouphug: to you and your daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Wow. I feel so bad for your DD. The optometrist sounds like a whackjob. :huh: I would definitely file a formal written complaint with the corporate headquarters and cc: the local facility as Orthodox6 suggested. It's not just that this woman was rude and unprofessional - the way she is conducting exams can actually lead to an incorrect prescription (and I'm pretty sure your DD is probably not the first person this woman has treated this way). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Yes, I would definitely complain. For other appointments in the future, I might mention her speech issues when making an appointment. I definitely wouldn't return there. How incredibly rude! :grouphug: to you and your daughter. Thank you. DD has had so many delays and I've felt like a broken record, constantly explaining all her "weaknesses" right in front of her to every doctor and therapist I see. Most of them comment on how they wouldn't have even known, she did so well, etc. Now that she is older, I struggle with just seeing how things go, letting her start to advocate for herself, or continuing to preface introductions with "by the way, she has x, y, and z, and can't do a, b, and c..." I think this appointment helped me to formulate a script though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 At 10, could you ask her if she would prefer to level set people or if she wants you to do so? Although this lady was clearly a rude and unprofessional person, it is a bit disconcerting to let people work through trial and error to figure out for themselves the extent of dd's needs. It puts them in a difficult position. Advocating for herself can be as simple as, "I have some speech issues, I will need you to give me time." Coaching her to advocate for herself in a simple manner will empower her and relieve her of having to listen to the litany, unless it is really needed. You'll still be there if she needs you to step in or to clarify. (BTDT with other LDs...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 At 10, could you ask her if she would prefer to level set people or if she wants you to do so? Although this lady was clearly a rude and unprofessional person, it is a bit disconcerting to let people work through trial and error to figure out for themselves the extent of dd's needs. It puts them in a difficult position. Advocating for herself can be as simple as, "I have some speech issues, I will need you to give me time." Coaching her to advocate for herself in a simple manner will empower her and relieve her of having to listen to the litany, unless it is really needed. You'll still be there if she needs you to step in or to clarify. (BTDT with other LDs...) Yes, absolutely. This whole thing caught us a little off guard because she's never had any problems at the optometrist's office. In fact, after lots of vision therapy, she's very comfortable there. The whole "timed" nature of this appointment is what threw her (and me) for a loop. It will definitely be a conversation we have before EVERY appointment now. I won't assume... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinmami01 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. I totally understand. My twin boys are 11 and have severe speech apraxia. They are very difficult to understand as well and find myself "translating" for them so others can understand. I find it to be pretty pathetic for an adult to be such an idiot. We have been in a similar situation and I was so upset at myself for not saying something. I believe I was just so stunned. I'm sorry...sending hugs your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. I totally understand. My twin boys are 11 and have severe speech apraxia. They are very difficult to understand as well and find myself "translating" for them so others can understand. I find it to be pretty pathetic for an adult to be such an idiot. We have been in a similar situation and I was so upset at myself for not saying something. I believe I was just so stunned. I'm sorry...sending hugs your way. Thank you!!! Her problem looks a lot like apraxia but comes from global dyspraxia (different part of the brain I guess??). Anyhow, this is how I left feeling. We've seen a lot of rude doctors, but I've never had one actually get irritated with dd herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 How sad for your dd; even if she wasn't visibly shaken or hurt by the exam, that eye doctor was extremely unprofessional and rude. I always have to take a moment and think before I answer while getting an eye exam. If I'm rushed by the Dr. the prescription is often wrong. :iagree: I'd write the letter to corporate cc the local office and I'd call to complain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinmami01 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I wanted to add that I would surely write a letter. I wish I had did something back when we had our incident. It wasn't at a drs office, but a place of business. I was devastated and we just walked out the store, but I should have done something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I can't stand America's Best. Even if you don't have problems like the OP's dd. They are cheap for a reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I'm 37 with no speech problems and I can't answer the fuzzy/not fuzzy very fast. The doctor has to switch between the two a few times before I can answer. I always feel like I'm going to fail the end of the year exam if I don't answer correctly. I'm sorry the doc was so rude to your dd. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 We went to stupid America's Best the other day because I just wanted to check my twins' prescriptions and order new glasses, if needed. It was just easier than trying to get into their regular optometrist and America's Best was giving free eye exams anyway. Well, I got what I paid for. Poor dd10 has a *severe* speech delay and dyspraxia- it's hard for her to talk and she struggles with motor planning. We've never had any issues at the eye doctor though and she's been wearing glasses for 5 years. The older female optometrist (who made sure I knew she used to be a teacher) spoke SO quickly, I could hardly understand her. She got frustrated with dd because she couldn't answer fast enough. Apparently this lady was all about getting people to say whether or not the image was fuzzy as FAST as possible, to be more accurate?? I've never had this experience. DD was trying as hard as she could and the optometrist kept telling her she wasn't fast enough. At one point she told dd she wasn't going to give her a prescription if she couldn't answer fast enough. The doctor was visibly irritated and really rude. It all happened within 5 minutes, and I could tell dd was ok and really just trying to do what was asked of her. After the appointment, dd said she was fine and didn't care. But now I'm MAD. I'm mad at the doctor for treating a child that way and I'm mad that I didn't immediately stop the doctor and correct her. Oh, and the best part? At the end of the appointment, the doctor asks if I've had her hearing checked (right in front of dd). I calmly replied that she struggles with her speech and left it at that. I just wanted to get out of there! Lesson learned. I'll be prepared next time. I'm always just so shocked when people behave this way, I question whether I am reading them correctly. It isn't until after the situation is over that I realize what complete morons they are. Should I leave it alone or write a letter to the facility, complaining about our treatment and reminding them not all disabilities are visible? Could you walk in and ask to speak to the owner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Write the letter and copy it up the chain of command. When you explain your dd's diagnosed difficulties, do so briefly and use the official terminology. Do not give a blow by blow account of the incident. Rather, list bullet points, such as: --Dd has been diagnosed with [insert name] and struggles to speak quickly or clearly as a result of her medical condition. She tried her best to do as the doctor requested but was repeatedly scolded by the doctor, who said things such as, "[insert here]." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhschool Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 First of all, don't beat yourself up for not responding on the spot. It's very hard to even understand what is happening in a situation like that. Second, America's Best always rushed me and DC through every exam. And the prescription is always just a little off. I still go there for my own glasses because it's cheap. I finally got fed up and now I go to Lenscrafters for DC, where they are right next to a great eye doctor who really takes his time. Our America's Best are cheap and the eye exams are too quick and they don't hire the best people. They are also bossy and annoying. And once they put the wrong sign in front of the prescription and I got the wrong glasses. Unfortunately I don't think your letter would make any difference. I am sure it's part of their business model to hurry everyone along, since I had the same "hurry up with making up your mind" eye exam experience with three different doctors there over the years. The eye exams never took more than 5-10 minutes. I am sorry this happened to you, and please don't feel bad about not speaking up. It happens. It's OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Yes, absolutely. This whole thing caught us a little off guard because she's never had any problems at the optometrist's office. In fact, after lots of vision therapy, she's very comfortable there. The whole "timed" nature of this appointment is what threw her (and me) for a loop. It will definitely be a conversation we have before EVERY appointment now. I won't assume... NotSoObvious, I've had several times (well, more than several) where I've learned the hard way, and done the "never again" thing. It is hard when suddenly the situation isn't the same as what we've become accustomed to, isn't it? I'm always in awe of those people who *immediately get* that something is different and they respond in an un-normal fashion while everyone else thinks that things are just like they've always been. I think that's a special (an enviable) skill to have--one i'm working on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 We went to stupid America's Best the other day because I just wanted to check my twins' prescriptions and order new glasses, if needed. It was just easier than trying to get into their regular optometrist and America's Best was giving free eye exams anyway. Well, I got what I paid for. Poor dd10 has a *severe* speech delay and dyspraxia- it's hard for her to talk and she struggles with motor planning. We've never had any issues at the eye doctor though and she's been wearing glasses for 5 years. The older female optometrist (who made sure I knew she used to be a teacher) spoke SO quickly, I could hardly understand her. She got frustrated with dd because she couldn't answer fast enough. Apparently this lady was all about getting people to say whether or not the image was fuzzy as FAST as possible, to be more accurate?? I've never had this experience. DD was trying as hard as she could and the optometrist kept telling her she wasn't fast enough. At one point she told dd she wasn't going to give her a prescription if she couldn't answer fast enough. The doctor was visibly irritated and really rude. It all happened within 5 minutes, and I could tell dd was ok and really just trying to do what was asked of her. After the appointment, dd said she was fine and didn't care. But now I'm MAD. I'm mad at the doctor for treating a child that way and I'm mad that I didn't immediately stop the doctor and correct her. Oh, and the best part? At the end of the appointment, the doctor asks if I've had her hearing checked (right in front of dd). I calmly replied that she struggles with her speech and left it at that. I just wanted to get out of there! Lesson learned. I'll be prepared next time. I'm always just so shocked when people behave this way, I question whether I am reading them correctly. It isn't until after the situation is over that I realize what complete morons they are. Should I leave it alone or write a letter to the facility, complaining about our treatment and reminding them not all disabilities are visible? I'd write the letter. My optometrist is my cousin, actually, and for years he said, "I or 2", "3 or 4" etc so quickly I couldn't get it myself (without an issue). I just repeatedly told him to slow the heck down, that I had to process it and tell him the truth, not just guess quickly. Some were easy, but some were hard. Age mellowed him out and he doesn't do this anymore. Yes, I would have taken the bull by the horns at that appointment and told that Optometrist how this was going to work (firmly, yet politely). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I can't stand America's Best. Even if you don't have problems like the OP's dd. They are cheap for a reason. True. It's like Great Clips, instead of a nice hair salon. You might luck into a good stylist and I actually found one that did our hair for years, before she moved on somewhere. But mostly, you get what you pay for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Thank you, original op for posting this and the others who replied... I was going to try AB tomorrow for my prescription sunglasses, but now I think I'll just skip them and use the place closer to my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 First of all, don't beat yourself up for not responding on the spot. It's very hard to even understand what is happening in a situation like that. I am sorry this happened to you, and please don't feel bad about not speaking up. It happens. It's OK. This. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I never have heard of this chain to begin with; however, upon reflection, I'm guessing that the company makes money out of high volume. So of course the optometrist scoots through as fast as possible. We have used the same optometrist since 1995 and refuse to change because she is so professional and thorough. When it is time to check the "fuzzy slides", she goes slowly, comparing only two at a time and allows us to go back-and-forth as much is necessary for us to make a good decision. What OP describes is unacceptable practice to begin with, without even factoring in the abusive customer treatment. [EDIT] I just checked online. The nearest location is the in a neighboring state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I'm sorry this happened. It sounds like your daughter was okay with it all; please don't be too hard on yourself. We learn as we go, you know? My husband has apraxia of speech that he is trying to overcome, since his stroke. I know what it's like. I'd write a letter to both the local clinic you went to and the corporate office. I'd explain what a difficult appointment it was for you, and why. I'd also explain what dyspraxia of speech is. That optometrist sounds like a real ding-a-ling! (On a different note, my husband was involved in a very intense speech study out of Harvard where they worked with his apraxia of speech and aphasia through music therapy -- singing. It has been incredibly helpful to him! I'm not sure if it benefits all types of apraxia, but just thought I'd throw it out there for you!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 We've always had really bad luck with those chain vision places. So we now stay away from them. I always wonder about the quality of the Optometrist that work there. You can write to them, but if their business model is to do everything as quickly as possible and doesn't care about accuracy or quality or even customer service. Then writing a litter won't really change anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I'm 37 with no speech problems and I can't answer the fuzzy/not fuzzy very fast. The doctor has to switch between the two a few times before I can answer. I always feel like I'm going to fail the end of the year exam if I don't answer correctly. I'm sorry the doc was so rude to your dd. Kelly This. Almost exactly. I've got a month before I'm 37. :laugh: I agree that you should write both the local and HQ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I spend half my time asking if I can see number one again. I thought that was what you were supposed to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 … I'm guessing that the company makes money out of high volume. So of course the optometrist scoots through as fast as possible. … . :iagree: I've worked for several companies where "hurry up, work faster" is the primary business model to cut costs (even if quality suffers). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Even the optometrist at Walmart lets me take my time through the fuzzy/clear, I'd write a letter to both the local facility and their corporate office. ((Hugs)), so sorry. It's hard to know what to say when you're blindsided. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 so sorry to hear that. getting people to respond as fast as possible means she can move on to the next patient and have a higher patient load. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 This is carp. We went through similar with my eldest dd (lots actually) but the last one was when they changed her rhumatologist (sp). The new Dr told all of us off individually and rapidly. Had both kids crying and me nearly so. All over unrelated rubbish. I think she was thrown by dd's acceptance of her condition and humour in spite of constant discomfort. Anyway she told dd she was making it up etc. I didn't really stick up for her because the attack on me had thrown me and nearly made me cry, plus I was dealing with teary youngest. We left, made a new appointment, and walked out. I asked dd if she wanted to ever come back and see this Dr again. "No! They never help anyway." So I walked back, told the nurse, who we knew, that we wanted to cancel that appointment and NOT make another as I would not be bringing my girl back to this nasty Dr again. Then I apologised to my dd. But I did feel I'd let her down. So I know how you felt, sometimes it just goes askew too quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I am so sorry! Write the letter. We had a similar incident with a nurse practitioner at our doctor's office and the upper management was very receptive to my concerns. A friend printed up business cards for her teen daughter to hand out when she checks in for appointments. They state very simply that she has Autism and struggles with being touched, responding quickly, and a few other things I'm forgetting at the moment. I thought that it was a nice way to empower the child to ask for what she needs without forcing her to have a difficult conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 :grouphug: Reading your account, I could feel my anxiety level rising! My ds struggles with processing delays, especially in unfamiliar situations, so I can totally see the same sort of thing happening to us. I am so sorry for both you and dd! I doubt I would have been able to formulate a response at the time either :cursing: . You've gotten great advice. I'm just agreeing that you definitely need to write some sort of letter and corporate needs involvement! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I am so sorry! Write the letter. We had a similar incident with a nurse practitioner at our doctor's office and the upper management was very receptive to my concerns. A friend printed up business cards for her teen daughter to hand out when she checks in for appointments. They state very simply that she has Autism and struggles with being touched, responding quickly, and a few other things I'm forgetting at the moment. I thought that it was a nice way to empower the child to ask for what she needs without forcing her to have a difficult conversation. That is such a fantastic idea. I might consider this for DS. He is fine with touch but gets really out of sorts with lots of direct questions and just starts rambling and mumbling non stop. To the OP, that is so frustrating, I would write the letter as well. We had our old family doctor reduce both DS and I to tears when I was just asking for simple and called for blood work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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