Impish Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Diva wants to go to a youth group function...girl night. Apparently, some speakers, a chocolate fountain, some spa stuff. It's $20 a girl. From 5-830 It's at the church. I'm going to find out more info, but honestly? $20/girl, it's just a bit much, imo. At least from what details Diva's giving. On one hand, it's a chance for her to hang out w/kids her age. On the other, Wolf's job ends next wk, and $20 is $20 when he doesn't have another job lined up. So, wwyd? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Durriyyah Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Unless she comes home with stuff, and it's useful (not just door prize type stuff), it wouldn't be worth the money to me, especially if dh was looking at no paycheck for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 If you are thinking about this, have you reversed your previous vow to never have her do anything with that youth group again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 It's likely that if you call the church and explain your circumstances, they might encourage Diva to come and not charge her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Does the church scholarship kids that don't have the money? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 If you have $20 in the budget, then id do it because it can really be a good thing for a pampered night like that. If you cant budget the money, maybe she can raise the money somehow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetbasil Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 That's a lot of money for a kids' church night. I'd either say no, or if it was possible, I'd offer to spend the money on something that she needs and would enjoy. Something that will last longer than 2.5 hours, KWIM? If I was in the same situation I'd take her out for our own girls' night and let her choose something from the store. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 My girls wouldn't be going because I have twins, so everything is always double. It would have to be REALLY important and worthwhile for me to spend that kind of money on a "girls night." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I don't pay for youth group stuff. . .my kids need to if they want to go. So, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 If you are thinking about this, have you reversed your previous vow to never have her do anything with that youth group again? That's what I was wondering, too. Since money is tight, I don't think you should spend the $20 unless you're absolutely certain that Diva will have a lot of fun with the other girls. Is she already friends with them? (I only ask this because sometimes "girl nights" can get kind of cliquish.) Also, who are the speakers? Are you sure they'll be fun and interesting? Personally, I think $20 sounds pretty high for a church youth group function that is only a few hours long. I think you should ask for more details. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 20 dollars can buy quite a few spa items in the store. She could use them over and over again. 20 is a lot for a youth thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I'd be asking a lot more questions (of the church) about WHY it was so expensive. But with a job coming to an end, if I couldn't find a way for her to do it cheaper, I'm afraid the answer would have to be no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdownie Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 If you are comfortable with it, I would call the church and find out if they have scholarships or something to make it free or less expensive. Most churches would rather your child be there without paying than her to miss it because you couldn't afford it. My husband is the associate pastor of a small church, and we would never knowingly have a child miss an event because she/he couldn't afford it (not that we have $20 Girls Nights, but still, for camp or anything else too). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 If you are thinking about this, have you reversed your previous vow to never have her do anything with that youth group again? This is onsite, so I don't have an issue w/it. It's her doing anything off-site w/them that will never happen again unless Wolf's avail to drive her. Yeah, she says that the church is kicking in $15, that it was supposed to be $35/kid...I need way more details. Sounds like a sort of fundraiser, to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 After what happened last time, I would say no and just tell her you can't afford it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I have a different perspective. My 13-year-old daughter is very lonely. She just has few friends right now, and few opportunities to meet other girls. So I'd do a lot to help her go to an event where there was an opportunity to meet some potential new friends, or at least have a girly evening. I agree though that $20 seems like an awful lot of money and I'm surprised a church youth group would put on such a costly event. Tough decision. I hate those. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 If you are thinking about this, have you reversed your previous vow to never have her do anything with that youth group again? I was wondering the same thing. Is this the same organization that caused the incident a week or two ago? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Nope. $20 is a lot of money when your employment future is uncertain at the moment. It sucks, and it's a hard lesson to learn at 13, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the good of the whole family :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 It's likely that if you call the church and explain your circumstances, they might encourage Diva to come and not charge her. :iagree: Our church (or someone in it) would gladly pick up the tab so Diva could attend. And her name is Diva! You know she would love it! If you are thinking about this, have you reversed your previous vow to never have her do anything with that youth group again? I see you later answered this question. I agree with you decision (not that it matters:tongue_smilie:). Sounds reasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bree Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I'd pray about it. On one hand if you don't have the money then I wouldn't, but if it is something where you think she will grow closer to her friends and Christ then I would think of it more in line as sewing a seed and I know God would honor that as long as you think there might be a little wiggle room :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Nope. $20 is a lot of money when your employment future is uncertain at the moment. It sucks, and it's a hard lesson to learn at 13, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the good of the whole family :grouphug: Well, I agree with this too. Good point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 This is onsite, so I don't have an issue w/it. It's her doing anything off-site w/them that will never happen again unless Wolf's avail to drive her. Yeah, she says that the church is kicking in $15, that it was supposed to be $35/kid...I need way more details. Sounds like a sort of fundraiser, to me. I don't know. To me, that wouldn't make a difference where it was. They were irresponsible off-site. I don't see how being on-site is suddenly going to change their level of common sense and responsibility. Also, something about the money sounds iffy to me. Is it $35 or $20 and why are there 2 prices floating around? The whole organization sounds very disorganized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 This is onsite, so I don't have an issue w/it. It's her doing anything off-site w/them that will never happen again unless Wolf's avail to drive her. Yeah, she says that the church is kicking in $15, that it was supposed to be $35/kid...I need way more details. Sounds like a sort of fundraiser, to me. $35 for a church event that's only a few hours? That sounds like a lot of money to me. Given the employment situation, I'd say sorry, but no. If you're supportive and feel Diva is old enough, she could try to earn the money by babysitting or being a mother's helper for a neighbor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Nope, but as a consolation you can tell her there's a Silver Brumby book in the post. Or not tell her and save it for Christmas. Whatever, it's addressed to you, not her. :P Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Between the last youth group nonsense and the cost of this I would be doing girl night at home with her. Paint her nails, let her paint your's (toes if it hurts too much to have your RSD hand done). Have hot chocolate or tea together. pop in a movie. Or let her have a couple girls over for a girls night at your place. pop popcorn, etc and let them have fun at little to no cost compared to that $20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Between the last youth group nonsense and the cost of this I would be doing girl night at home with her. Paint her nails, let her paint your's (toes if it hurts too much to have your RSD hand done). Have hot chocolate or tea together. pop in a movie. Or let her have a couple girls over for a girls night at your place. pop popcorn, etc and let them have fun at little to no cost compared to that $20 My first step, I think, would be calling the church for more details, making it clear that $20 would be a hardship for my family. If Diva has details wrong and it's not as expensive as she thinks, or if the church folks offer a discount or scholarship, problem solved. If not, I might try swellmomma's suggestion, see if my kid considered it an acceptable consolation prize. However, if I got the sense that this was important to my daughter, and I had no objection other than the money, I would probably suck it up and make it happen. This kind of thing is a big deal for teens. And, in the grand scheme of things, $20 isn't that much money. After the fact, I'd probably have a heart-to-heart with her, too, explaining as much as I felt comfortable having her know about the family's financial situation, giving her a heads up that we'll be putting these kinds of events on hold for a while, until we get on our feet. That way, she'd have some warning before the next invitation came and wouldn't feel like she had the rug pulled out from under her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Have you checked with the church yourself about the price? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 I can't imagine a church that wouldn't waive the fee given the job hardship. It's worth asking. If not, I would personally likely not send her due to the cost. When you don't don't have a job in the works, every dollar can matter. I hope it works out that she can go and that you have a job soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 I don't know. To me, that wouldn't make a difference where it was. They were irresponsible off-site. I don't see how being on-site is suddenly going to change their level of common sense and responsibility. Also, something about the money sounds iffy to me. Is it $35 or $20 and why are there 2 prices floating around? The whole organization sounds very disorganized. The church is w/in sight of us, if a tree wasn't in the way, LOL...that's why I feel better about on site vs off site. On site, I can just trundle over there and see what's going on if she's late. Apparently, the $35 was the initial cost, but the church is covering $15, so the girls only have to cover $20. Which I still don't understand. I'll be getting more info on Sunday, since I don't know whose organizing anything (the specific person changes from thing to thing) and I'll be able to get that at Church. Nope, but as a consolation you can tell her there's a Silver Brumby book in the post. Or not tell her and save it for Christmas. Whatever, it's addressed to you, not her. :P Rosie Oh. My. Gosh. You are just the sweetest, loveliest woman EVAH!!! :grouphug: She'll pee her pants. I think I'll save it for Christmas, to watch her pass the heck out! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Diva wants to go to a youth group function...girl night. Apparently, some speakers, a chocolate fountain, some spa stuff. It's $20 a girl. From 5-830 It's at the church. I'm going to find out more info, but honestly? $20/girl, it's just a bit much, imo. At least from what details Diva's giving. On one hand, it's a chance for her to hang out w/kids her age. On the other, Wolf's job ends next wk, and $20 is $20 when he doesn't have another job lined up. So, wwyd? Although it is difficult to say no to a child, I believe that it would be irresponsible to spend $20 when your husband is unemployed. Wasn't the fee for the late-return outing a couple weeks ago $50? Together those funds could have provided groceries for a week for the family with some money saving ideas. At 13, the child is capable of understanding that money can only be spent on items necessary to survival when a family is facing unemployment. Frankly I would not consider even doing an at home spa treatment as alternative unless I already had the needed items on hand, and I would explain to her why spending $50 at this time was an unwise action. She is a bright girl and probably could offer suggestions on how to stretch household budget and how to have low or no-cost entertainment. Perhaps she could contribute a very small amount to household by weekend babysitting, petsitting, or other odd jobs? Involving her in money management during a time of hardship will give her valuable household management experience that will help her through financial hardships when she is on her own. We do not do our children any favors when we let emotions overrule financial commonsense during hardships. I hope your husband finds something soon. We've been there *lots* since my partner is in a profession that gets hit first and hardest when economy dips. It is one of the most stressful and difficult experiences to endure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 If they are paying a professional to come in and give manicures and pedicures it could cost a lot. Now why one would need to that at church is another question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 (edited) If you are comfortable with it, I would call the church and find out if they have scholarships or something to make it free or less expensive. Most churches would rather your child be there without paying than her to miss it because you couldn't afford it. My husband is the associate pastor of a small church, and we would never knowingly have a child miss an event because she/he couldn't afford it (not that we have $20 Girls Nights, but still, for camp or anything else too). :iagree: about asking for a scholarship. However, I also think $20 for one night of "spa night" is a bit much. It's different than being asked to pay $25 for a week of VBS or for an overnight where you know they are paying for lodging. But I'm someone who spends very little on make-up, salons, etc. and have only once gotten a manicure when I was in high school. I tend to view it as a place I don't want to allocate resources. Others feel differently. If the church couldn't do a scholarship, I would just explain to my child that we couldn't afford it. If she has her own money and wants to go, that's fine, but when family money is tight you have to focus on things you NEED: electricity, food, etc. Anything done on spa night is going to be very temporary. It's a life lesson. Edited October 13, 2012 by Laurie4b Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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