Would You Allow Your Child's Teacher to Do a Home Visit?

[Crimson Wife]

My youngest DD is in an autism class at a special ed preschool. Yesterday, her teacher (whom I really like) sent home a permission slip asking to set up a home visit.

 

My older two children's virtual charter teacher does visit our home once per month and I'm not thrilled about it but I can understand the reasoning behind those visits (the charter needs to ensure that my kids are actually using the materials that it has purchased for them and making satisfactory progress). At the end of the day, I'm getting hundreds of dollars of funding per semester so I can put up with the intrusion of having the teacher come to our home.

 

But given that my youngest child is a full-time student in a B&M classroom, I really don't feel that that her teacher has any business doing a home visit. However, I'm concerned that not giving the permission might raise some red flag, like I have something to hide. I obviously don't, I just think it's unnecessarily intrusive.

 

Would you allow your child's teacher to do a home visit?

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I've never been in this situation myself, but whenever the topic comes up I always have the same thought:

 

If I wouldn't trust her in my home, I would not trust her to teach and care for my child all day. So yes, if I sent my child to school, I would welcome my child's teacher into my home.

[Roadrunner]

I said Yes... but

I would be a lot more willing to let them into my house if they gave me an option. If I felt that I was required to do so, I wouldn't be too happy.

I think how I feel about it would also depend on the teacher. If I am in good terms with her, I would be inclined to have her visit. I generally don't do well when I am ordered to do things (personality flaw) but when my kids are involved I try to only consider the impact the decision is going to have on them.

[Luanne]

When my daughter was in kindergarten. She had a small class (it was a private school) and at the beginning of the year she visited all the homes of her students. It was nice.

[AK_Mom4]

I voted no. They would need to convince me WHY they needed to visit my home before I would consider it. There would need to be a real benefit for my kid before I would have the teacher visit my home.

[eloquacious]

I've been the teacher doing home visits. I found that the families that I was able to speak with wound up being some of my most productive co-operation opportunities. In inner-city Baltimore, that's saying a lot.

[regentrude]

When I was in school, some classroom teachers visited each family at home. It was nice.

I do not see any reason why I should not meet with the teacher in my home. To me, this shows that he has an interest and makes the effort to create uninterrupted time; also, seeing a child's home environment might help the teacher understand better if the kid faces any unique challenges.

 

Why are people against having a teacher visit the home? I don't understand the reasoning. (I'd much rather they come here than me having to go to the school)

And I agree with pp: if I don't trust the teacher to enter my home, how can I trust the teacher to be with my kid all day?

Edited September 18, 2012 by regentrude

[jenbrdsly]

Yes. I would say the only "flag" here is that Princess Persimmon's teacher is totally awesome! Home visits are an enormous (usually unpaid) thing for a teacher to do. They can also be incredibly beneficial for everyone involved.

 

 

I bet she might be looking for things like: What is this child dealing with at home? Is there opportunity for a quiet space? Is there an opportunity for gross motor activity (are there bouncy balls, etc.)? She's probably also trying to get a feel for herself of what Princess Persimmon is dealing with in terms of SEL.

 

 

I've only gone one a handful of home visits myself, but one of them was in East Palo Alto. When the front door opened I was totally shocked because there was no furniture in the entire space. The grandmother was sitting on the bare floor weaving a Polynesian matt. This was very enlightening to me.

 

Not to geek out on you, but didn't Anne do home visits in Anne of Windy Poplars by LM Montgomery?

Edited September 18, 2012 by jenbrdsly

[Crimson Wife]

I voted no. They would need to convince me WHY they needed to visit my home before I would consider it. There would need to be a real benefit for my kid before I would have the teacher visit my home.

 

This is how I'm feeling. I like DD's teacher. I trust her to be around my DD for 5 hours per day. I just feel like it's a boundaries thing. I wouldn't expect to be invited into HER home, though I would consider it a nice gesture if she asked.

[QuirkyKapers]

Is the teacher visiting other families as well?

[Dmmetler]

I've done home visits as a teacher. I think they're beneficial for two reasons. The first is that often special needs students, especially, react differently at home than in school. So a child who is almost non-verbal in a group setting will end up being a little chatterbox when they have the teacher at home 1-1 with their parents and siblings and where they feel safe. And often that carries over into the classroom.

 

The second (which doesn't apply to you, but did to many of my inner city parents)is that many parents have had really, really bad experiences in a school setting and are downright anxious from the second they get there to the second they step off campus. When a parent is so anxious and unhappy in that setting themselves, it's really hard for them to focus on their child and on giving the teacher information that helps their child. By coming TO the parent, in a situation where they are in control, it helps the parent relax and feel comfortable. I also had some parents who had other children or elderly parents who they couldn't easily leave to come to school, and coming to them let them be involved in their child's education. They WANTED to be involved-they just couldn't physically come to the building. FWIW, I've done parent conferences at a table at McDonald's during a parent's 30 minute break, too.

 

 

 

In all cases, home visits have been an option, not a requirement, and we didn't look down on parents who didn't want a home visit in the slightest. But they really were helpful when we were allowed to do them-during the time I taught it went from being encouraged and actively funded to "don't you even THINK about it-leave that to the social workers and truancy officers"-which leaves out the just having a casual chat with parents who can't make it to parent conference night or letting a 6 yr old show her artwork and bedroom off proudly to her teacher.

[justamouse]

Ugh, what a horrible decision, and it's horrible that you feel that you HAVE to. I hate intimidation that comes with all of that. :grouphug:

[Rbsmrter]

I did home visits as a teacher because it was a requirement in our school district. At first I felt very uncomfortable with the idea since it felt like a direct invasion of people's privacy. The parents were able to opt out (no one ever did), however a teacher could not, so at least I knew that if someone was really against the idea they would just decline the invitation. Looking back I see they were a great way to create a foundation for many successful relationships. I never went with the intent of checking up on anything, my only purpose was to get to know the students and their families. It was one of the few times I was able to visit with each family, without interruption. Throughout the year I would see various family members at school functions and conferences, but there was always a lot going on and those few instances would not have given us much of a chance to develop our relationships. Throughout the year I often referenced some of the topics we discussed during that first conversation (i.e How's grandma doing? How is _______ doing in football?) I always had a point of conversation with each parent and they were genuienly pleased that I made an effort to take an interest in their lives (and their childrens') outside of school.

 

I also found that the parents I met ahead of time were a lot more likely to work together with me on discipline issues. Since they had met me outside of school and began to see that I really did care about their child's success, they were much more willing to work as a team rather then get defensive.

 

Plus I just loved getting to see the look of excitement on the student's faces. They were always so surprised to see me outside of the school building. I'm pretty sure they thought I had a bed hiding under my desk :)

 

With that said I would never have been offended if someone did decline the visit. I would have completely understood their need for privacy and it would not have raised any red flags for me. We were required to provide a reason if we didnt do the visit, but "family declined invitation" was more than enough of a reason and it was never investigated further.

[jessicalb]

Nope no never no not gonna happen. I am a private person and I don't want people over unless I choose them. Period.

[In The Great White North]

It is standard in Waldorf schools. It allows the teacher to get to know the child and the family better, and allows the child to get to know the teacher before school even starts. (It's ideally done in the late summer before 1st grade.)

 

I might have problems with it if it were an annual, inspection-like, mandatory thing in a public school. In these days of mandatory reporting, I would be even less likely to be comfortable with it.

[jenbrdsly]

I just remembered that for my last two years of teaching I used to invite all of the parents into my home for a "parent party" in Fall. The tables were turned on me! Everyone had big fancy homes and we had a modest condo.

[idnib]

I would be uncomfortable but I voted yes.

 

I would recognize that my feelings were just personal to me, and that there was nothing inherently bad about the situation. And I think that when teachers are more integrated into the community and know more families that's a good thing. I would also consider that if I ran into a problem down the line, I would have a more personal relationship with her. People's nature is to try harder with others they know personally.

[wapiti]

The first is that often special needs students, especially, react differently at home than in school. So a child who is almost non-verbal in a group setting will end up being a little chatterbox when they have the teacher at home 1-1 with their parents and siblings and where they feel safe.

 

This is why I'd do it, even though it would feel weird and uncomfortable.

[Crimson Wife]

Is the teacher visiting other families as well?

 

Yes, all 8 kids in the class (assuming they sign the permission slip).

[QuirkyKapers]

If you know the other families and they are agreeing and are o.k. with the visit, than I would consider doing it.

[momma aimee]

When my daughter was in kindergarten. She had a small class (it was a private school) and at the beginning of the year she visited all the homes of her students. It was nice.

 

when my sons were DE in the district pre-school; at the start of each year the teachers made home visits. (the DE for services, ST and OT). they talked about the class; met the kids if they didn't know them, gave us phone lists and asked if we had questions. i thought it was a nice thing; it nice to get a chance -- not in a big group -- to meet the teachers and ask questions that maybe you wouldn't in a big group setting and it gave the kids a nice treat too -- they got to show their teacher their fav toys and so on.

[frugalmama]

No. I'm a very private person and I strongly dislike having others in my home.

[SKL]

Maybe after about $20K of remodeling, LOL.

 

OK, seriously, I would be a little taken aback. But having gone through a home study plus 3 years of post-placement visits in connection with my adoption, I would not sweat it too much.

 

I would ask in advance exactly what she sought to learn from the home visit, so I could make sure she got the pertinent info she was looking for. Perhaps she's looking for ways to help make connections using experiences that are familiar to each child. Or perhaps she wants to see where the child is in terms of developmental toys and interacting with his most familiar environment. If you don't know exactly what her motive is, you won't be able to make it worthwhile for her if you do decide to let her in.

[laf919]

We had home visits for my dd in public-funded preschool and I appreciated the opportunity to meet the teacher and aide outside the classroom in a more private situation. My dd has food allergies and I was glad to get to talk with the teachers about that when they could focus on me and my concerns - Asking questions at the "meet your teacher and see your classroom" day would not have had the same effect - and the other parents' don't need to hear all my questions. My dd is also academically quite far ahead, and again, I was glad to have the chance to discuss that privately - other parents don't need to know the details about my dd's abilities and at school conferences didn't happen until 1/3 of the way through the year.

My dd was also quite shy around strangers in preschool. Having the teachers visit at home gave her a chance to meet them on familiar territory for my dd - where she felt comfortable and this meant the teacher wasn't a new face on the first day of school - She had already had time to talk with her teachers and this made the transition to school much easier on her. If your child has already started school, this benefit might not apply to you.

One other thought - my dd's teachers always made clear that they were required to meet with each family individually outside of school (by the grant that funds the program) but that if a family did not want to have a home visit, they could meet somewhere else - a park, the library, etc. to talk with the parent and child. So if you are really uncomfortable about having the teacher in your home, you might ask if you could meet at another location.

[MBM]

First period at my son's high school is Advisory Period in which groups of about 25 kids meet first period for all four years. (Each grade has 1000+ students) It's a way of helping to connect a diverse group of students with each other as well as giving them an advocate -- their advisor -- who also helps kids with any problems they might be experiencing. They also do service projects and attend social activities as a group outside of classes.

 

Anyway, the advisor of all sophomores meets with the family in the family's home around the beginning of the school year. I think the primary purpose is to meet the person that the student will have as advisor for the following three years and to be able to discuss any concerns privately. We can contact him at any time even at his home. I guess you could say he acts as a liason.

 

We were remodelling our kitchen at the time of our visit, so our home was a mess. The advisor didn't care.

 

I also think the school might do this to see if the student really lives in this district. In our former district about 80 kids were attending the school illegally, claiming to live in that district but driving down from a cruddy district. It caused quite a ruckus.

[Princess Peach]

I voted yes. In the OP's case, I wouldn't even hesitate to say yes. I would still say yes if it were my kid's teachers, but they don't do that around here, so it'd be unusual.

[Crimson Wife]

I also think the school might do this to see if the student really lives in this district. In our former district about 80 kids were attending the school illegally, claiming to live in that district but driving down from a cruddy district. It caused quite a ruckus.

 

The school psychologist did an in-home visit as part of the IEP assessment process, I think in a large part for this reason (also the cynic in me suspects the district wants to figure out which parents would have the resources to pursue legal action should there be a disagreement over services).

[Parrothead]

I don't know. I kind of like my privacy. I've never been in that situation though so it's hard to say what I'd do. I guess I have a general distrust of people for some reason. Not saying that's right or nice, but it's honest.

:iagree:The idea of it kind of creeps me out. Maybe I have too many potted plants or something. I don't want to be judged anymore in this life than necessary. I always come out lacking.

[Guest UrbanYogini]

I voted yes but for me it is conditionally. Personally I would expect the teacher to be visiting the homes of all the children in the class and I would want to know the goal for the visit.

 

We had a positive experience with a home visit. My daughter's new Kindergarten teacher made a point to schedule a home visit with all her incoming kinder students (27 total) over the summer. She came over had some ice tea with dd, brought a copy of The Kissing Hand and asked dd to share one of her favorite books or stories with her. It was very informal and sweet. And I feel it helped with the transition when the first day of school arrived.

[MidnightHM]

I like to know my children's teachers as well as possible. I think they way you behave in a guests home says a lot about a person. It also gives the teacher a better idea as to where your child is coming from.

[Nart]

Is the teacher a new teacher? When I first started teaching the program I was in to clear my teaching credential required us to do home visits. I did them that year and never did them again because I didn't have the time. When my kids started at a private preschool, their preschool teacher made a home visit before they started.

 

The district I work in now, the special education teacher who teaches a classroom of students who have limited verbal skills likes to make a home visit with the speech teacher while other in-home services providers (usually funded by the Regional Center) are in the home too. That way they can see what type of therapy is being used, so they can collaborate and everyone is on the same page. When parents are reluctant the special ed. teacher offers to meet the parents at the park. If you are hesitant, perhaps you can offer to meet somewhere in the community like a park or library?

[Slipper]

I didn't read all the replies, so forgive me if this has been posted already. I have a non-verbal child with autism who is in public school. I would love if her teachers offered to come visit. (They are great, but home visits aren't really done around here). I would see this as a powerful opportunity to share what we do at home and our overall home life. My daughter is very fixated on her schedule and her way of doing things. If they are doing the smallest things different at school, she wouldn't be successful. Here, they would see the things we work on and I would hope they would make suggestions on how we could improve things we do. (I feel good about what we do with her, but I am so used to doing things for her that occasionally someone steps in to remind me that my daughter can do certain things herself).

[nellecv]

I'd actually love my daughter's teacher to do a home visit. My daughter is very reserved at school, but extremely animated and talkative at home. I wish her teacher could see that side of her. I'd also love her teacher to see what she does at home. Seeing the kinds of projects, reading, and activities she's doing at home would probably give the teacher a better perspective to why she's zoned out in her way-too-easy class.

[Unicorn.]

I voted other. When I put ds in private school, i got an email about needing to set up a home visit. My house was insanely messy at the time, and we were doing a re-model of sorts. I called the teacher, and asked if we could meet up at the school, or at the library. He had no problems meeting elsewhere. Now, at the time, I had the remodel as an excuse, but really, I just didn't want a stranger in my house. OP, why don't you see if you can have this home visit elsewhere..park, school, library. It really is just a get to know the family thing, but I understand the not wanting them in your home and privacy issue.

[abacus2]

Other: I am really not sure. I don't like people who may have reason to be critical and I don't know well inviting themselves into my home. But if I had my kids in school, I would want to have a good relationship with their teacher(s). I would feel more comfortable coming to parent conferences than having a teacher to my home.

[Crimson Wife]

Is the teacher a new teacher? When I first started teaching the program I was in to clear my teaching credential required us to do home visits.

 

Interesting. She isn't a new teacher but she is currently pursuing her M.Ed. in Special Education (she already has a M.S. in Educational Psychology). I will have to ask her if the home visits are a requirement of her grad program. I have until tomorrow to agree or decline the home visit.

[Ritsumei]

Not a chance. It's rude to invite yourself over. I doubt I'd ever have the money to do a private school, so this would be a public (government) school scenario for me. And it's not going to happen.

 

If, in the course of discussing a special needs child it became apparent that the child was responding differently at school and at home then I might invite the teacher, but I would do so with the understanding that there would be a reciprocal invitation, whether for myself or a recorder of some sort (maybe if I came, it would change the dynamic we were trying to observe), but just for the heck of it? Never gonna happen. They can be suspicious if they want to, I'll deal with that as it comes. In the mean time, we can chat after school or at lunch or whatever.

 

My home is mine, and they don't get to barge in.

[Nart]

Interesting. She isn't a new teacher but she is currently pursuing her M.Ed. in Special Education (she already has a M.S. in Educational Psychology). I will have to ask her if the home visits are a requirement of her grad program. I have until tomorrow to agree or decline the home visit.

 

You can look up any public school teacher's credential info at

 

http://www.ctc.ca.gov

 

I can't provide you with the exact link because it doesn't work if you are using an ipad or safari. If you have windows, chrome, or firefox you can click on the yellow box at the top that says "search for an educator".

 

Does the sp. ed. teacher know that you homeschool your older kids? While some people who work in the public school (like me!) are supportive of homeschooling, most aren't.

[farmwife]

I think the more the teacher knows about his/her student the better able they are to understand them and educate them. I understand your apprehension but I would welcome them with open arms.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I voted no. No way! Why, exactly, do they want to conduct a home visit?

[Spy Car]

I would welcome it. Yes.

 

Bill

[chepyl]

Yes, if it was prearranged. If they showed up unannounced, I would be hesitant.

[cindergretta]

I wouldn't have a problem with it, personally. I'm not sure why it is assumed that the teacher is coming to inspect or judge anyone or anything. :confused: I sincerely doubts she cares if the house is huge and expensive or tiny and cheap or hyper-clean or lived in. (She might feel uncomfortable in squalor... )

 

I can understand discomfort with having people in one's home. There are few people who are welcome in my home and my mother isn't one of them. :lol: But all the suspicion and hostility is a little astonishing to me.

 

OP, I hope you will let us know what you decide and if you decide to let her come, please let us know how it goes!! :tongue_smilie:

[SunnyDays]

As a few others said, I'm just a very private person... we don't even have friends and family over that often, not because we don't like to see them, but I guess I just don't like being "on" in my own home. (Playing hostess, making sure everything is just right, etc.) If I'm home, I like having my pajamas on and my feet up if I can. Maybe that makes me unsociable, LOL. So I wouldn't be crazy about the visit either. But like you said Crimson, I would also be worried that declining it makes it seem like I'm either unapproachable or have something to hide. So my answer is, I hope no one asks!! :D

[blakereese]

I do not see any reason why I should not meet with the teacher in my home. To me, this shows that he has an interest and makes the effort to create uninterrupted time; also, seeing a child's home environment might help the teacher understand better if the kid faces any unique challenges.

 

Why are people against having a teacher visit the home? I don't understand the reasoning. (I'd much rather they come here than me having to go to the school)

And I agree with pp: if I don't trust the teacher to enter my home, how can I trust the teacher to be with my kid all day?

 

:iagree: I would love that a teacher showed that much interest. And yes, I'm a bit lazy, I wouldn't want to go to the school to meet her.

 

I guess I'd give her a call and see why she wanted to come to your home and if this is just how she does things. Feel her out before you give her an answer either way.

 

I have to admit that I have never heard of a teacher having a home visit, but I would be open to the idea.

[cathmom]

At my son's preschool they do this at the beginning of the year and I think it's a great idea! I'm not proud of my house but my son has benefitted from the visits by feeling more comfortable with his new teacher. As a teacher myself, although of older children, I'd love to see my students at home.

[Esse Quam Videri]

It's just a public school thing... they do this usually in all preschool and kindergarten classes (at least in my neck of the woods). If you don't feel comfortable, you can politely decline.

[Crimson Wife]

After talking it over with DH, I did sign the permission slip and am waiting on DD's teacher to arrange the visit.

 

I decided to go ahead with it because we need to make a decision this year about whether to sign DD up for the kindergarten waiting list at the district magnet school. It seems crazy to have to do it now when DD won't be kindergarten-aged until fall 2014, but that's the way the magnet school operates.

 

I have no idea whether the magnet school accepts mainstreamed kids with ASD. I know they don't have an autism special day class, so if DD still needs to be in one, she will need to attend a different school. It's hard to anticipate what DD's functional level will be when she's 5 3/4, but she is considered to have HFA and if her language improves enough, I think the district will at some point mainstream her. If they do, I'd like to give the magnet school a try assuming that (A) they take mainstreamed kids with ASD and (B) she gets a slot in the lottery.

 

Hopefully DD's teacher will be able to give some advice on the kindergarten issue. I can't really talk to her about it at normal dropoff or pickup so I'll use this home visit for that.