Jen500 Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 'No presents', do you go ahead and bring a gift? The party is for a 6 yr old girl. Part of me thinks we should honor the 'no presents' request, and part of me is worried that everyone else will bring gifts anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amsunshine Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I've seen some cute things done at parties lately where the girls decorate a small cute container themselves and fill it with gummy bears or some small candies and attach a homemade certificate good for a future sleepover or playdate or something similar. Maybe something like this might be ok? It's what I might do if presented with an invitation like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 No. "No presents" means no presents. I'd bring a card though, and write something nice in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 As a mom that puts this on the invitations, please don't bring a gift. Someone always does and it makes the others who didn't uncomfortable. Also, if someone chooses to bring a gift, please don't be offended when I greet you at the door, thank you for the gift, and quietly place it in another room for the birthday girl to open after everyone has left. NO, she is not going to open it in front of everyone.This happened several times when dds were younger and I had to take time away from the party and deal w/something that I shouldn't of have to deal with! Rant over:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 No. "No presents" means no presents. I'd bring a card though, and write something nice in it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 As a mom that puts this on the invitations, please don't bring a gift. Someone always does and it makes the others who didn't uncomfortable. Also, if someone chooses to bring a gift, please don't be offended when I greet you at the door, thank you for the gift, and quietly place it in another room for the birthday girl to open after everyone has left. NO, she is not going to open it in front of everyone.This happened several times when dds were younger and I had to take time away from the party and deal w/something that I shouldn't of have to deal with! Rant over:glare: :iagree: And trust me when I say that the mom who requested no gifts, will love you best when you don't bring one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 No. "No presents" means no presents. I'd bring a card though, and write something nice in it. :iagree:exactly! They requested no presents for a reason, so I would honor that. BUt I never show up to a party without something in hand(I am a firm believer in hostess gifts), so I would still bring a card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 :iagree: And trust me when I say that the mom who requested no gifts, will love you best when you don't bring one! Yep! This! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 No Presents means No Presents. But bring a nice card, those are generally appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 A previous thread on the topic: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/showthread.php?t=380092&highlight=presents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CathyEJ Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 No. We do cute homemade cards for "no present" parties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 If you're feeling insecure about it, bring a nice card, leave it unsealed, and have a gift card/certificate to tuck into it if turns out that everyone else brought presents :) And if you don't end up using it, you can save it for some later occasion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I agree with pps. No presentes means no presents, and people generally have a reason for specifying that. But I would bring a card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyNellen Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 No. "No presents" means no presents. I'd bring a card though, and write something nice in it. Yes. We always ask for no presents because we really don't need more stuff. The kids consider a party a big deal because we usually don't have them. But a card is always welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I have a hard time with that because one of my strongest love languages is giving, and I love giving gifts. I would ask the person throwing the party, personally. I understand the not wanting to get something that takes up space but isn't really loved, but if there is a beloved book or game or art item that the child would want, I would love to give it. This has never happened to me with regard to a child, but if it did, if I knew the mom well, I would ask her if there were something I could still get. If it's a homeschooling family, I would ask about something like the D'Aulaires Book of Greek Myths or a fun game. If I didn't know the family well, I'd just comply. If the party is for an adult (an adult friend of mine has requested no gifts), I would still give her something I thought was special. I give gifts to friends even when it's not a birthday. PS -- For kid parties, I almost always ask the mom what the child would like because I cannot stand having unwanted stuff. The last time I asked, I bought a piano songbook for Star Wars and a Lego the boy wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 No. "No presents" means no presents. I'd bring a card though, and write something nice in it. :iagree: and I don't feel bad when other people don't honor the request. I used to be embarrassed when others brought presents and didn't. No longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 In these cases I try to get my kids to make something. As in draw a picture, or something at a similar level. (My son doesn't like drawing so might make a small bag out of duct tape.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 There was an opposite invite on fb recently; no gift = no food/cake. We did not go to the party. I wish we would get invited to a no gift party! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I would bring no presents. Their request was clear; I think it should be honored, not ignored or "gotten around." I think a card would be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsingscrapper Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 If it's family, I would give something to be opened later. My kids don't generally attend non-family birthdays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 When we get these I still bring a card and a small gift certificate ($10) to an ice cream place or Target. That way it is not "more stuff" because I definitely don't need that, but the birthday kid can go out for a treat or get something she needs from Target. If we give a Target GC we usually tell the bday child that since they are a growing child they can put it towards some clothes or shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 :iagree: And trust me when I say that the mom who requested no gifts, will love you best when you don't bring one! :iagree: And will be puzzled why a couple people will insist on it any way. :001_huh: For no gift parties, we always do big handmade over the top cards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 :iagree: And will be puzzled why a couple people will insist on it any way. :001_huh: For no gift parties, we always do big handmade over the top cards. I guess it comes down to two reasons for me. 1. I view giving gifts as giving love, and I don't like the rules surrounding gift-giving. I don't like my brother feeling pressured every year to come up with a gift. He doesn't know my boys, barely cares about them, and the last minute "buy a gift" thing got ridiculous. It was easier just to tell him to not worry about our family. I really just don't like how materialistic the whole thing has become, and the "no gift" thing is a form of it, to me. I've never met a kid who doesn't love a gift. Now, like I said, I would ask the parent first, but how many people would refuse a $25 Lego or an Amazon gift card if Amazon were doling them out? It seems if people would accept it from a company, they should be pleased getting it from a person who actually cares about her kid. 2. I've only seen "no gifts" on an adult party invite. If the lady is my friend, I may still want to give her something. In fact, I'd give her something without a party. I always took the "no gifts" thing as a modesty and thoughtfulness gesture. I've met people worried that they shouldn't send their child to a party b/c they couldn't afford a nice gift. I figured these gestures came from this sort of thing and also from the fact that often, guests don't really know what the child would like, so there is unwanted stuff around. I didn't realize it would be considered rude to give a gift despite the request. I just didn't think this blessing another person could ever be despised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto3innc Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I would not bring a gift but would have my kiddos make a cute card. If the invitation said no gifts, I would bring no gifts. But I'm a rule follower. I'm also someone who has sent a request like that before. I appreciate people following my request and would honestly be more annoyed by people who decided not to comply (however nice their intent might be). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I guess it comes down to two reasons for me. 1. I view giving gifts as giving love, and I don't like the rules surrounding gift-giving. I don't like my brother feeling pressured every year to come up with a gift. He doesn't know my boys, barely cares about them, and the last minute "buy a gift" thing got ridiculous. It was easier just to tell him to not worry about our family. I really just don't like how materialistic the whole thing has become, and the "no gift" thing is a form of it, to me. I've never met a kid who doesn't love a gift. Now, like I said, I would ask the parent first, but how many people would refuse a $25 Lego or an Amazon gift card if Amazon were doling them out? It seems if people would accept it from a company, they should be pleased getting it from a person who actually cares about her kid. 2. I've only seen "no gifts" on an adult party invite. If the lady is my friend, I may still want to give her something. In fact, I'd give her something without a party. I always took the "no gifts" thing as a modesty and thoughtfulness gesture. I've met people worried that they shouldn't send their child to a party b/c they couldn't afford a nice gift. I figured these gestures came from this sort of thing and also from the fact that often, guests don't really know what the child would like, so there is unwanted stuff around. I didn't realize it would be considered rude to give a gift despite the request. I just didn't think this blessing another person could ever be despised. I don't really understand your first point - it seems that you're saying you don't want your brother to be pressured to buy a gift, but then you seem to flip that and say every kid wants a gift? Second point - it's fine if the person is your friend and you would give them a gift anyway, but there is no need to give it to them at the no-gift party, is there? If they are a friend, you can surely give it to them some other time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I have a friend who requests no presents. When my dc go over for a party, they just make birthday cards. The birthday kids love it, and so does the mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 There was an opposite invite on fb recently; no gift = no food/cake. We did not go to the party. I wish we would get invited to a no gift party! Wait--what? How in the world did that read in the invitation? "If you don't bring the swag, don't expect any goodies from us!" I can't imagine anything so rude in an invitation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I don't really understand your first point - it seems that you're saying you don't want your brother to be pressured to buy a gift, but then you seem to flip that and say every kid wants a gift? Second point - it's fine if the person is your friend and you would give them a gift anyway, but there is no need to give it to them at the no-gift party, is there? If they are a friend, you can surely give it to them some other time. My first point is that my brother doesn't buy gifts b/c he cares about my kids; he does so b/c it's some sort of material obligation at Christmas time. I per finally despise obligatory giving, and I likewise dislike the concept of obligatory non-giving. To me, giving gifts is an act of caring. Yes, I would never send a gift to a no-gift party, but if I truly wanted to give a child a gift, I wouldn't hesitate asking if I could give one at another time. My boys also enjoy the act of giving a gift. They have few friends, so I'm happy they have always had the opportunity to give them. It just seems like the entire concept of gifts is so structured these days. When I was growing up, I would have loved a party with friends, and it would have been a lot of fun getting gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 When I used to have parties, I would say: "please, no gifts. But if you feel the need to show up with something in hand, a canned food item for the local food pantry would be appreciated." Sometimes, I found, that little kids wanted to bring something to the party. then people would bring canned items in cute gift bags!! I set up a table and stuck a can of something-or-other on it so people would know where the gift table is. a lot of times, we would find toys and other 'gifts' on the table. mostly, my kids decided to send all that to the food pantry, too, for the needy kids. Robin in NJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Honor the parent's request. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Wait--what?How in the world did that read in the invitation? "If you don't bring the swag, don't expect any goodies from us!" I can't imagine anything so rude in an invitation! I know! I've never heard of a kids' party with an overt cover charge. I'd be so tempted to stay despite being offered no cake. I'd want to hover right behind somebody eating and say, "How's the cake? Is it good? Looks like chocolate...is that chocolate? Buttercream frosting, eh?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Yes, if you care for the honoree and would like to do so. Putting "no presents" on an invitation is not ok.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I think my son would be a bit upset if I said no presents on the invitations for his sixth birthday. People know not to spend too much tho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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