Jenny in GA Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 A little background: I have three kids, and was diagnosed with a serious chronic illness several years ago, right after my youngest was born. Between going to specialists and regular lab visits, plus all the normal things everybody does, like dental exams and pap smears, it is pretty common for me to go the doctor or lab 3-4 times a month. In the past, my mother was willing and able to watch the kids for most of my appointments. But a few months ago she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, so those days are gone. Two different neighbors had asked me, independently of each other, if they could do anything to help, when they heard about my mother. I thought and said, "You know, what I need more than anything is someone to watch my kids when I go to the doctor." Each of them said to let me know dates and times and they would try to help out. One of them watched the kids last week, it seemed to go really well, and yesterday I asked if it was possible for her to watch them again next week at such-and-such day and time. She wrote back to tell me that she would need to charge me $10/hour if I wanted her to continue watching the kids. Well, my co-pay is $75 per doc visit. I can barely afford to GO to the doctor, let alone pay someone $30 almost every week just to watch my kids so I can go. I still have the other neighbor, but now I'm almost afraid if she'll say the same thing ... especially if she's the only person I can ask every time. The few homeschooling families I know are all a twenty+ minute drive away in the opposite direction of my doctors. I don't know anybody else I could "trade babysitting" with. Three kids is a bit much to have in the exam room with me; depending on the office and the situation, it is sometimes borderline impossible. There must be many people in a similar situation. What does everyone else do?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I use family or swap with friends. In a pinch, with unexpected appointments I have taken them all with me. They watch a movie and if they are good we stop for icecream on the way home. Is there any way to get labs done locally and results faxed over? We have been lucky to find flexible oncologists, endocrinologists, perinatologists, etc. through the years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Honestly? I take everyone with me, all four of them. None of my friends are really close enough to watch my crew. Once in a while, we're able to arrange it so that DH takes off a bit early, or I'll schedule for the evening, but that would be hard for frequent appointments. I just bring stuff for them to do, and I have them step aside for things like pap smears. It's not ideal, but that's the way it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Honestly? I take everyone with me, all four of them. None of my friends are really close enough to watch my crew. Once in a while, we're able to arrange it so that DH takes off a bit early, or I'll schedule for the evening, but that would be hard for frequent appointments. I just bring stuff for them to do, and I have them step aside for things like pap smears. It's not ideal, but that's the way it is. That's what I've always done too. I've even taken them with me when I had iron infusions and those appointments are 1 1/2 to 2 hours long. I've had kids anwhere from nursing babies to 10 years olds with me. Just bring lots of special snacks they wouldn't get otherwise. It doesn't hurt to have special coloring/sticker/reading books that are only brought out for doctors' appointments. Or other special quiet toys. The kids actually looked forward to me going to the doctor because they know there will always be something special for them to eat or do. It never would have occurred to me to ask people to watch my kids for my appointments. I've always taken my kids everywhere so I guess it's just a habit for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in GA Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 That's what I've always done too. I've even taken them with me when I had iron infusions and those appointments are 1 1/2 to 2 hours long. I've had kids anwhere from nursing babies to 10 years olds with me. Just bring lots of special snacks they wouldn't get otherwise. It doesn't hurt to have special coloring/sticker/reading books that are only brought out for doctors' appointments. Or other special quiet toys. The kids actually looked forward to me going to the doctor because they know there will always be something special for them to eat or do. It never would have occurred to me to ask people to watch my kids for my appointments. I've always taken my kids everywhere so I guess it's just a habit for me. Huh .... I guess my response to this is, where are your kids during your exam?? I can't imagine leaving them all unsupervised in the waiting room for an hour, nor would I think the staff would appreciate that. There is no way three people (and doubtfully even one) would fit anywhere in my dental exam room, for sure. And in my other doc offices, there is neither space nor chairs for multiple people to be in the room with me. They would all have to stand against the wall or something in a cramped area, which seems like a recipe for disaster to me. How does it work for you guys? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brownie Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Honestly I've done the same thing. Until a year ago when dh still worked too far away to make helping out feasible, I would drag all 3 with me and cram into the exam room. I have a MIL I ask to help out maybe 3x a year...she lives 30 min away. I have friends whose kids are in school who would help out here and there if I asked but I think I maybe asked once. I just usually work around it. Of course all the appts I'm supposed to make are piling up...I'm always behind schedule. Between dentist, eye, OT, checkups, illness, etc...we could be at the dr every week and it's just not feasible! I have left kids in the waiting room too. The youngest 2 can handle an hour in a quiet waiting room playing angry birds :) and the oldest could sit forever by himself, but all 3 together is rather a recipe for disaster unsupervised. Brownie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 For appointments my kids sit against the wall on the floor. Less room then all the chairs. My oldest plays game boy, my little two play leapster. I'm not chronically ill but I am pregnant and going frequently. It's not perfect, but they are really good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I have never used a babysitter and we have never lived near family either. I have just always taken them with me, even when they were very little. My husband has never worked a job where he could take off either. When I just had one and she got big I brought an umbrella stroller with me and she sat in it. I trained all my children this way. Once my oldest was 9 or 10 she would sit in the waiting area if I needed her to with one or two kids. My kids just knew they had to obey and do this. We lived in small to medium sized towns and it worked. I have had a chronic back condition for almost 10years which has included neurological, spine, pain, pt, and other assorted visits each month. My kids are just used to doing this. I would never know what it would be like to go to the doctor alone unless I my older kids are home and can stay with my youngest two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Nobody has doctor's offices that specifically prohibit kids? My OBGYN changed their policies after the swine flu and do not allow kids under 12 in the office. My other specialists have policies that state children are not welcome although not prohibited. GP & Dentist are the only place I can think of that I could take the kids. Personally, I use a home daycare service for unexpected trips that come up, try to schedule check-ups all on one day twice a year, and have dh take those days off from work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Seems like we're always at the pediatrician/ endocronologist/dentist/eye doctor/naturopath/orthopedic surgeon/orthodontist/ podiayrist as well. I usually take all of mine. Once in a while the stars align that DH is working from home and can help. Sometimes I'll get a babysitter if I know the apt. is going to be really long (like waiting for dilation at the eye doctor.). Sometimes the sitter is a friend. Sometimes I pay a teenager. My older two can sit quietly in the waiting room. It's the toddler that's the weak link in the chain sometimes, but we survive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 :grouphug: For some things like regular check-ups (dentist, gyne, eyes) save up and schedule them all in one day if DH can take a vacation day. It;s a rough day for you, but that will eliminate a few trips. Next, ask your Dr. if it is at all possible to stretch out your visits, especially iif things are stable or improving. Maybe go every 10 days instead of every 7? Ask what is really truly necessary- tell them you don;t have the money or the time and see what can be reduced or eliminated, or at least combined. When one of mine had PT sessions, they told me if she also was getting OT or speech therapy we could do it all at one office in one visit for one co-pay. (we didn;t, but good to know...) Are you involved in a church? Do they have a day care or provide ministry services in situations liek yours? Is there a lonely older lady who could watch your kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kohlby Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I agree to see if you can do a swap. Asking a neighbor/friend to do it once in a while is different than regularly. I'd mention that you really need help with this and was wondering if you could swap them something in return - whether it's childcare for their kids or having your hubby mow their lawn. An exchange will make no one feel like they're being taken of advantage and is win-win. I had lots and lots of drs appts when pg with my third child. Taking a 2 and 5 year old to appts that lasted 3+ hours long was rather difficult, but I still had to do it sometimes. I was high risk and had long, involved appts. I did end up getting a babysitter since it was too much to do all the time - but I wasn't able to get her all the time so they had to come some. So, if you can't do a swap, I'd mix it up - between taking them and leaving them. It also depends on their ages, my older two are now 6 and 9 and MUCH easier to take anywhere with me. My 3 year old can be rather challenging however. Our local Y has drop-n-shop for $10 from 9-12 every weekday morning, so that saves a bundle if it's an appt that is too hard to take him to - but it takes some timing on my part. All my appts have allowed kids. There was one dr that didn't seem to like that my kids were there but they didn't have a policy against it. I switched drs since I wasn't all that impressed with him anyway. I will let my 9 year old stay in the waiting room without me, but the 3 and 6 year olds sit in the exam room with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I have a number of chronic illnesses. My life is full of doctor visits, labs, etc. both for me and my kids. When they were little and could not be left alone, they all came with me. I never had any relatives nearby and my dh could only very rarely watch them. Sometimes I did have a babysitter but not most times since I couldn't afford to do it that much and also by the time I had three, my oldest was being homeschooled and couldn't be in daycare but was too young to be alone. I had two adhd kids and I managed to train them to behave appropriately at the visits. They had no issues and I gave them small rewards afterwards. Yes, sometimes it was cramped but only doctor even questioned me about it and he was quickly informed that this was the only way I could go to appointments. I saved my babysitting and/or dh caring times for the gynecology appointments. I also must have done something about the twice a year visual fields tests I needed because of my medication but I don't know if they waited in the waiting room or dh took care of them or someone else. Probably all of the above for the six years until my oldest could babysit the other two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 How does it work for you guys? The iron infusions aren't done in a regular room, it's almost like outpatient hospital visit but at the doctors office. They just have a curtain that can be opened or closed. We just leave it open and the kids kinda of spill into the hallway. The staff brings extra chairs, occasionally my kids will quietly walk in the hallway. The nurses have actually said how much the other patients appreciate seeing them. The infusions are done in the cancer ward and there are a lot of older people. It's brings them joy to see an older child walking hand in hand with a younger one so they actually get a bit more freedom there. For regular appointments, I'm on the table, there is 2 chairs and the little two play on the floor under the head of the exam table. Yes it's a tight squeeze but when they are too little to be in the waiting room, that's the way it is (maybe your rooms are smaller but I have never been in an exam room where there wasn't at least two patient chairs, the doctor's chair and an exam table). The doctors have always been very understanding. The kids are in the room until the actual physical exam happens. Since my oldest two are boys, I am a bit more careful with what they are in the room for. But with the exception of the end of pregnancy and yearly paps, I've not had much need for the kind of exams where it would be inappropriate for them to see. When they were 5/6 age range, we would pull a curtain around the exam table (if there was one but often there wasn't) or I would ask them to turn around. They were old enough to understand there was things on mommy they didn't need to see. Occasionally I would have them sit in the hallway right outside the exam room and work on something quietly where the exam was actually done. They would be sent only for the part they shouldn't see and brought back in as soon as it was appropriate to do so. They couldn't have been out there more than 10 minutes max. I would often here nurses chatting with them. By the time they were 8 or so I would leave them in the waiting room if it wasn't crazy busy (and I go to a small clinic so it was usually just them and one or two other patients) But I've always kept my girls in there because I figured it's important for them to understand what happens and be somewhat comfortable with the idea. I had no exposure to anything related to female exam until after I was married and it was mighty uncomfortable for me. Dentists visits are pretty much the same, they all pile in, if there is room someone brings chairs or the littles sit on the floor. If the station next to it is empty sometimes they will say the kids can sit there. In all the years, I've only had one negative experience with having my kids tag alone. I had a cranky nurse who told me my kids couldn't sit in the hallway because it was a fire hazard. The doctor came in a couple of minutes later and said it was perfectly fine for them to be there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Huh .... I guess my response to this is, where are your kids during your exam?? I can't imagine leaving them all unsupervised in the waiting room for an hour, nor would I think the staff would appreciate that. There is no way three people (and doubtfully even one) would fit anywhere in my dental exam room, for sure. And in my other doc offices, there is neither space nor chairs for multiple people to be in the room with me. They would all have to stand against the wall or something in a cramped area, which seems like a recipe for disaster to me. How does it work for you guys? I just cram 'em all in. :) Our family doctor has really tiny exam rooms with only two chairs, so the kids squeeze into those, and someone usually sits on the step that pulls out from the exam table. At one dental office, DD sat in the waiting room with her book, and the dentist pulled two chairs into the exam area for my boys and offered to put cartoons on the TV for them. At the other dental office, there is, no kidding, an indoor climbing area and several computer consoles with video games, so the kids are completely happy there. I go out to check on them between steps, but they've always been fine. (Granted, I went there before the baby was born, so yes, it would be a little trickier with him, but we'd manage if we had to.) For frequent long appointments, I'd probably look into some sort of electronic something that could do movies/games, and I'd keep it only for those appointments so that it was new and fresh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 How old are your kids? Could the two oldest sit together in the waiting room? What about hiring a mother's helper to play with them in the waiting room? One of the "benefits", if you can call it that, of illnesses requiring frequent appointments, is that the doctors and staff know your kids, and your kids have a feel for the office. At many of our specialists, the receptionists interact with my kids so well that I am comfortable leaving them in the waiting room alone. They are free to come together down the hall to find me if they need to see me. My GP is in an area I don't feel comfortable in. The kids come in the room with me. Twice I have needed to do something private. Once the dr took me to a different examining room, and once she sat the kids in her office so we could talk in private. She had the nurse peek in on them. I have also been blessed with amazing friends who have offered to watch the kids when I had to go places they couldn't go. I try to repay them by hosting playdates since they don't seem to need babysitting. I also do what I can on the weekends (mammogram, eye exams) or when dh can take time off. I also scheduled big stuff during VBS. At many doctors, they sit in the room with me. I reward them for good behavior, and not speaking. I try not to take them when I am meeting a new doctor for the first time or discussing something that may be upsetting to them. Good luck finding a solution. I know it is hard, but it gets easier as they get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Huh .... I guess my response to this is, where are your kids during your exam?? I can't imagine leaving them all unsupervised in the waiting room for an hour, nor would I think the staff would appreciate that. There is no way three people (and doubtfully even one) would fit anywhere in my dental exam room, for sure. And in my other doc offices, there is neither space nor chairs for multiple people to be in the room with me. They would all have to stand against the wall or something in a cramped area, which seems like a recipe for disaster to me. How does it work for you guys? I haven't done this but once, but my kids are perfectly capable of sitting for half an hour to an hour in the waiting room, especially if I leave them with devices and I would do it more if I needed to. I find it rude that the friend the OP mentioned offered to help and then turned around and said she was going to charge her for it in the future. I just find that really... low somehow. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 We always go as a group. My kids used to all be in the room together with me or more likely we were all in the room with my youngest son.now theyallsit nicely in the waiting room, but they are 7-12 no longer toddlers and preschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I find it rude that the friend the OP mentioned offered to help and then turned around and said she was going to charge her for it in the future. I just find that really... low somehow. :( :iagree: Maybe you could respond to her email saying that when she offered to help you, that was the greatest need that popped in to your head. You really appreciate her help for that particular appointment. At this point I'd probably say that I couldn't afford paid childcare regularly, but I would keep that in mind for future big appointments. I wouldn't hold one neighbor's actions against the other neighbor. I would just make sure it is for an appointment you really can't have the kids underfoot, and thank her genuinely for offering to help you out during this difficult time. Given the number of people who are willing to help others out, the odds are in your favor. You probably won't need her every week anyhow. Can your kids at least go to the lab? I've always had my kids in the lab, either in a stroller, in my lap, or standing nearby. At the current hematologist, they wait in the waiting room because the room is genuinely too small. If they were little though, I'd use the stroller to prop open the door. :D At the dentist, I had my kids sit on the floor by my feet when they were little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 That is really stinky of your neighbor to offer help and then put a price on it. My kids all go to the doctor with me. The rooms are just big enough for the exam table, a sink, one chair, and the doctor's stool. The exam tables are placed at a diagonal, and the kids sit against the wall in the space between the exam table and the wall. A big kid usually occupies the seat. For paps, the bigs kids look the other way. I would not go to a doctor that didn't allow kids. Until recently, it wasn't an option. I actually turned down a midwifery office for my last child because kids weren't welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abacus2 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I don't know if many of your visits are for lab work, but my local hospital has a 24 hour lab that anyone can come to with a doctor's order for labwork. I swing by there for bloodwork sometime when DH can watch the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Sorry, I think that is part of the price of having kids. One either has to take them with one or pay someone to babysit. I think it is rude to continually expect others to take care of you kids for free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Just an aside, I don't actually do regular dentist checkups and don't necessarily see any of the other docs annuallly (so those would not be in the "like everybody does" category for me). But, if I had ongoing issues and needed childcare, I would ask my local church to help me set up an rotation of people to help. If you are unable to get the solution you hoped for (childcare) then I would try to come up with a new solution. You did not list the age of the children, but I would probably try to begin training them to engage in specific activities, take electronics, etc. and teach them how to behave in waiting room situations. This is your life and lifestyle, there's no reason not to teach the children how to accept and conform to that lifestyle. Very sorry about your mother. My mother is also our only child care provider so I would be in a very bad situation without her assistance. That is why my church family immediately came to mind. My oldest has a few special needs that would make choosing someone to care for him difficult. I have had to develop a support network for that very reason. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Older kids can stay in the waiting area alone. Your oldest two are almost 10 and 12? They can definitely sit in the waiting area without you leaving just the one in the patient room with you. (No idea of an age for that one.) In fact, I'd be working on them staying home alone if you haven't already. Having kids along for appointments is no fun, but for most stay at home moms it is the way it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Honestly? I take everyone with me, all four of them. None of my friends are really close enough to watch my crew. Once in a while, we're able to arrange it so that DH takes off a bit early, or I'll schedule for the evening, but that would be hard for frequent appointments. I just bring stuff for them to do, and I have them step aside for things like pap smears. It's not ideal, but that's the way it is. Me too. I always just took them with me. Not ideal, but....I had to do what I had to do. Now, I have teens, so my babysitters are built in....but getting there was a long haul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in GA Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Thanks for all the replies. Yes, I would have much preferred the neighbor to say, "No, sorry, I'm not able to do that," or, "Yes, I could do it about once every other month" then to agree to help and then give me a price. I actually always do take the kids to the lab with me. It's a drag, but very do-able. It's the exams that are a problem -- or rather, adding the exams on top of all the lab visits. I would not feel comfortable leaving an 11 year old home alone for three hours almost every week. In a couple years, sure. My kids don't have electronic devices. My church doesn't have anything that could help. I'd be happy to do a swap with someone, but don't know who or what. Maybe something will come to me ...? The idea of leaving them all in the waiting room is interesting. The big challenge would be my six year old boy. I cannot picture him just sitting alone that long. The only thing I can think is maybe ask the older kids to read to him in the waiting room ...? It is just such a drag to have a chronic illness, and have so much of my time and money to go to doctors, and to know it will never end or improve ... and now to have my mother taken from me, and now the whole situation is different .... it's just a big UGH, to put it mildly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I take all mine with me too. The only spots that we struggle with are hearing related since the doc needs absolute quiet in the room. My group doesn't do absolute quiet very well for more than a minute. I think your kids are 7, 10, & 12? If so, I would either leave them at home with the 12yo babysitting or leave them in the waiting room. My oldest three at 10, 8, & 5 often choose to stay in the waiting room. If they don't, we squeeze into the room together - four kids lined up on the floor with one next to me. It's crowded, but it's the way we have to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I'm the "well spouse," but I frequently go in to the appointments, so we've juggled this for a decade now. Early on there was an elderly couple in our church who took them for the longer, more distant appointments. I also investigated several day care centers that allowed drop-ins, but the cost and concern about having the siblings separated won out. Since then there are a few who volunteer now and again, but we don't take advantage of that kindness. We had a year where DH had four surgeries with three in another state, and I did use friends for all but one of those. Leaving home at 4am and sitting for 6-8 hours in a hospital is a lot to ask even for teens IMHO. I was anti-electronics too, but we ended up buying a portable DVD player that got us through, especially when they were younger. We made it a special thing that came out only for the appointments. The reality is that you have a tough road ahead with your issues and your mother. We went through years of eldercare crises along with DH's problems, and then I lost both of my parents in between some of DH's worst years, so I know how it is to feel like the world is caving in on you.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I also scheduled big stuff during VBS. VBS! GENIUS! I know it can be frowned upon to use VBS as a free babysitter, but if VBS is supposed to be an outreach and a ministry IMO this would be a perfect use of time! Maybe the OP can find out about a few daytime VBSs next summer and scedule a bunch of appointments for that week. And also, to the OP: you say your church doesn't have a ministry in place for this- does the pastor know your needs? It isn't hard to start one- and it doesn;t have to be a formal program. A simple email or bulletin announcement asking if anyone can volunteer or help out somehow. Can't hurt to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 VBS! GENIUS! I know it can be frowned upon to use VBS as a free babysitter, but if VBS is supposed to be an outreach and a ministry IMO this would be a perfect use of time! Yes, it is frowned upon. However, I was in no physical condition to help at VBS anyhow, it's not like I was meeting other moms for coffee. :lol: I babysat a teacher's sick kids one day so she could be there to help. To the OP, this is the first year my kids have had electronic devices. Until now they read books, played cat's cradle or played with their dolls. In a "safe" area, your 10 and 11 yo should be fine in the waiting room. You could keep your little one with you. Could you take a board game for the older ones to play with him in the waiting room? As far as having your mom taken from you :grouphug: I can only imagine how hard that is on top of everything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Mine come with me, expect for the dentist. Fortunately, I only have to do the dentist twice a year. The oldest three have been taught to sit quietly and not cause problems. My 3 year old is in sitting still training :001_smile:. I also don't have anyone to watch my kids. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Chronic illness here, lots of appts. DS (now 8) always comes with me. He has done this since he was 2, so he's a pro. We used to do busy bags, and a promise of playground time afterward. It's not ideal, but it works. DD (1) either comes along or stays with DH, if he can work it out. But I have a DH with a very flexible schedule, so that's a luxury. What about taking the older kids who can sit still, and asking a neighbor/friend to watch the littlest kiddo? That might seem less daunting to a neighbor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I have always brought my kids with me to my appointments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Chiming in again.....the only time that "the family" wasn't allowed to come was during my daughter's daily oncology appointments at the ped hospital. I was allowed to bring my nursing baby only (she was also allowed to stay on floor with us during hospitalizations). The others had to stay home. I have two offices were no one could fit....rheumatology and endocrinology. Everyone comes to everything else if I can't find a sitter. When I had three children three and under, I purchased a double stroller and carried in a car seat. Now that mine are older (10,6,3) it's a breeze. A $30 old DS unit or a $75 portable dvd player are well worth the investment. :) It may not be ideal, but ideal life wouldn't involve me in the doctor's office 1-2x a week. We've also done sticker books, candy (which we never have at home), audiobooks, special toys that only come out for doctor visits, etc. Broaden your pool of friends...invite families from church over for dinner. Hang out more with the homeschooling group. You need a broader group of support. Start with true friendship and everything else will fall in place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in GA Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 I can see the neighbor's pov. She offered to help and she DID help. She didn't offer babysitting services specifically , nor did she offer to help perpetually. She probably doesn't want the babysitting during dr appts to turn into a regular thing, so she is setting up boundaries, especially if she knows the op has a lot of dr visits. Watching others' children can be a time consuming and tiring job. I didn't catch the ages of the op's children, nor do we know how the children behaved while the neighbor was watching them. I wondered if someone would think this. I know it's silly, but I wanted to say, just for the record, that my children's behavior was not an issue in any way. As far as the ages, they are all elementary school age. I agree about the boundaries; however, like I said earlier, I wish she would have simply stated what she could or could not do; ie, "I would be able to watch your kids twice" or, "No, child care is not something I could help you with" instead of telling me after the fact what she charges. It felt very awkward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 Honestly? I take everyone with me, all four of them. None of my friends are really close enough to watch my crew. Once in a while, we're able to arrange it so that DH takes off a bit early, or I'll schedule for the evening, but that would be hard for frequent appointments. I just bring stuff for them to do, and I have them step aside for things like pap smears. It's not ideal, but that's the way it is. Once babysitting fell through when I had a gyn procedure scheduled. I parked my preschool daughter so she was facing me at the head end of things and told the doctor that he had exactly 15 mini marshmallows to get the job done. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I just take mine with me, I have no other choice. My doctor has a very small office and we're literally right next to the waiting room. I bring the DS and let the girls play. The receptionist is kind enough to not mind them, and they're extremely well behaved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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