spend the money or save it - WWYD?

[HappyLady]

We live in NYS and my DH's parents live in FL. Shortly after my DH and I started dating 10 years ago, his parents moved to FL. We would then spend about 10 days with them in FL and they in turn would come up and stay about a month or so in the summer with DH's brother (the brother bought their parents' house). That all worked out perfectly because we love vacationing in FL and it saves us money by being able to stay with them.

 

This year we visited them in April, but then my FIL had some health problems and they couldn't come up in the summer like they normally would. And we were told they probably wouldn't be coming up anymore. Both of my ILs are in their mid 70s and not in good health. They always drove to NY and refuse to fly and they said the drive was getting tough on them.

 

My DH made a comment the other day how he'd like to see Disney at Christmas time. I suggested we take a trip to see his parents in December and take a day to go to Disney then. They live only about 1.5 hours away so it would be a nice day trip. My DH's response was that he'd check our bank account, which means he's worrying about spending the money.

 

Now, my DH and I are the same in that we like to save our money. We've managed to save a nice little cushion should anything major happen like him losing his job or a major expense with the house, etc. With me not going back to work now (since deciding on homeschooling) he doesn't really want to spend any more money than we have to. I'm fine with that, but I know his parents aren't going to be around much longer. We both want our children to know and remember their grandparents and I don't think that it will happen with us only seeing them once a year during our normal trip there.

 

We have the money to go. All it would really cost us is airfare, a car rental, and the cost of Disney for a day (if we even did that). Everything we do for fun there costs us nothing because we go to the park, beach, etc, which is all free. We don't go out to eat because there's no where for us to eat around them (we're vegan) so we buy groceries just like we would if we were at home.

 

If we went, it would take about 10% of our savings, which is about 3 weeks' pay. I think it's worth it to see my DH's parents. I lost my father a few years ago so I know the pain of losing a parent. I don't want my DH to regret not seeing his parents when he had the chance.

 

What would you do? Save the money or spend time with family that won't be around much longer? If it matters, my DH always gets a nice bonus from work at the end of the year and we get quite a bit back in taxes so it's not like we wouldn't be replenishing our savings.

[Anne in CA]

I myself am pretty frugal, and I would say go. That said, I believe experiences are as valuable as savings. I have flown to the east coast to spend time with dh's mother so that the kids know her better, and I have taken my kids out of the country at tremendous expense that should have gone into savings, but we had special opportunities and I want my kids to have a more broad sense of the world than you might ordinarily get is suburbia.

[AK_Mom4]

Yes, I would be comfortable with that. Sound like a good trip!

[PeacefulChaos]

I would definitely do it!

Everything sounds like it would work out fine. :)

And in any case, the time and the experience that you guys would have there is worth way more (IMO) than the money. :)

Edited August 19, 2012 by PeacefulChaos

[besroma]

I myself am pretty frugal, and I would say go. That said, I believe experiences are as valuable as savings.

 

 

:iagree:

[fraidycat]

Go! If you're not going in to debt to do it, then family trumps money, IMO.

[eaglei]

GO! You will never regret time spent building relationships (for your children) and spending time with aging parents. The saved money will not buy that time when they pass. Go while you can. Go while you still have them.

[kokotg]

This is the kind of thing you save money for!

[marbel]

Sure, I'd go for the trip and my husband probably would too. But if your husband decides against it, I'd let it go.

 

(I do agree about regrets when parents are gone, etc.)

[SonshineLearner]

GO! :) Have fun!! Take video :)

[mom2samlibby]

I would go. :auto:

 

This is one of the things that you save up money for and it sounds like you have done that. I think that while being frugal and saving is wonderful, sometimes people can go overboard and there needs to be a balance. My dad was like this -- very frugal. We never once went on a vacation. He has plenty in the bank account.

 

I guess I never understood what was the point of him working so hard all the time and saving all that money, if you never used it for anything. I think kids need to see a balance -- you work hard, save your money, but it can be used for fun things every now and then.

[Harriet Vane]

Go enjoy Disney with your dad. The best investments are in the people you love and the memories you have together.

[Kari C in SC]

Absolutely GO!!! We cannot tell what tomorrow brings and we need to love on our family while we got them. And... check http://www.carolinahomeschooler.com for discounted Disney tickets.

[Chris in VA]

I would go, but I wouldn't be too sure that they won't be around much longer. I've seen lots of elderly people linger in bad health for years and years; however, they might enjoy your kids more now. Seems the longer you've been sick or infirm, the harder it gets.

[catz]

This is the kind of thing you save money for!

 

:iagree: I usually fall on the side of keep your savings intact, but that seems like a pretty minor hit for an important family opportunity.

[speedmom4]

When I read your thread title I automatically thought that you should save the money without even reading the message. I am almost always in the "save the money" camp. But after reading your message I think you should take the trip. It seems like a pretty minor expense compared to your savings so it shouldn't be a problem.

 

Hope you all have a great trip!

 

Blessings,

Elise in NC

[kb44]

Time with the family/vacation, for sure...and I am very frugal. Family is so important, as are the memories of time spent with them. :grouphug:

[Wabi Sabi]

GO!

[Lolly]

Ages of children? I would consider making the trip to Disney a Christmas gift. Definitely for dh and yourself. Possibly for the kids depending on how they would react to less toys under a tree. I would go on the trip.:D

[katilac]

You had me at "Disney," :D.

 

Yes, sure, I think you should go. It sounds like you guys have had great luck with fun and frugal vacations for a long time, and this one extravagance isn't going to break the bank or put you on the financial edge.

 

I will say that Disney for one day is crazy expensive, so I would consider looking into a package deal. Plus, an hour and a half there and back makes for a long day, especially b/c you will have to stay late to see the lights and so on. The spectacular lights are at Hollywood Studios, not Magic Kingdom (although MK is quite pretty in December).

 

They actually have free dining packages for part of December right now. If your inlaws are interested and able to purchase their own package, it might make a super fun trip for everyone. There are plenty of 'sitting down inside' attractions at Disney, plenty of places to just sit and wait and people watch, and the busses run to the resorts and back all day.

 

Tell your husband "you're welcome" from me :D

[elfgivas]

go. i'd crunch numbers and see if driving made it way cheaper. if it did, i would. but with gas, hotels, food on the road, etc, it might not be that different.

 

hth,

ann

[SailorMom]

Go!!! But - if you could manage a three day pass..... Magic Kingdom is very pretty - but truly the spectacular parks for Christmas - in my opinion, are Epcot and Hollywood Studios...

Another thought - the high end Disney resorts have amazing Christmas decor.

The Grand Floridian, The Polynesian, Animal Kingdom Lodge, Wilderness Lodge - all gorgeous!!! You could spend a day riding the monorail, taking the buses, seeing the resorts, going to Downtown Disney, maybe play mini golf - all without a park ticket.

[StephanieZ]

You CAN afford it. GO! The ONLY thing irreplaceable is love/family/relationship. GO!

[bettyandbob]

Doesn't Disney have discounted rates for Florida residents? If this is available, are you taking advantage of it through the grandparents.

[JadeOrchidSong]

I agree that you should go.

However, I don't agree with having your own mind set on going without first getting you dh to see the benefits and turn around. You don't want to have him resent you for making a decision that is absolutely contrary to his conscience. Your relationship and harmony with your dh trumps all other relationships, even with your or his parents.

If you can both agree to go, that will be a win win situation.

[QueenCat]

GO!

[QueenCat]

Doesn't Disney have discounted rates for Florida residents? If this is available, are you taking advantage of it through the grandparents.

 

I don't think Florida residents are able to get discounts for those in their party who are not residents.

[Ottakee]

I would make the trip. If you could only do Disney for a day, I like the idea someone had of just visiting the resorts and other areas that you don't need a ticket for. I think you can visit the Disney campground area as well. Tickets for 1 day would be horribly expensive.

 

We were there in December last year and honestly, we liked the lights and night Shamu show at Sea World better than the Disney Christmas stuff. That might be a cheaper option if you really want to do a park and only have 1 day. They said Friday and Saturday nights were CRAZY busy but we went on a Sunday night and the Shamu show was only 2/3 full and beautiful under the Christmas lights.

[jennynd]

If u have time, can u drive? The Disney cost, if ur in laws are resident, u can get some Discount and consider the Disney youth program that gives a pretty good discount. I feel your pain, my parents lives in Taiwan, it is a 10k trip for us to visit grand parents, but u don't want any regrets.

[Mom22ns]

When I read your thread title I automatically thought that you should save the money without even reading the message. I am almost always in the "save the money" camp. But after reading your message I think you should take the trip.

 

:iagree:

 

I'm always in the save camp! Both my parents are gone now and I know very well that I don't regret the time or money that I spent to be with them. ever.

[Incognito]

I think it depends on how old your kids are and how sick/infirm your ILs are. If your kids are really young and your ILs aren't THAT bad, I'd wait. Buy a couple of nice web cams and get skype working for bedtime stories.

 

FWIW, if your ILs are that old/sick, they may not do well with small children staying at their place. You may need to consider booking a hotel and possibly purposefully staying at a place close to the theme parks for a couple of nights for their sake.