Would you move to

[kitten18]

25,000 people really isn't that small.

 

My in-laws live in a town of 25,000 people and it is an amazing town! There is a ton of stuff to do and medical care is very good.

I would move there in a heartbeat!

[EJCMom]

I would not. I've lived that way before and it was very, VERY, difficult on me mentally.

[sewingmama]

I'm sorry ladies but I have to laugh at your idea of remote and the middle of nowhere :lol:

 

We once lived in the middle of Australia -16 hours from the nearest city. There was nothing there but two grocery stores (old and dingey) and an old department store. I had to buy all my kids clothes online and in Australia no stores deliver (and certainly not to where we lived).

 

You don't save money in an area like that -everything cost triple because of the shipping costs (food etc) - we paid $500 for crib because it was the only one they had in town :glare:

 

Over half the year it was above 40 degrees so we stayed inside a lot. There were no rentals available so rent prices were HIGH and all we could afford was a two bedroom tiny apartment. There were only 2 tv channels and one of them was a local station :lol: There was not much to do in town unless you were into the drinking culture (lots of pubs) :glare:

 

There were no fields to hike in - nothing but red dirt and venemous snakes and billions of flies -the kind that like to stick in your eyes.

 

I credit this place as where I got my internet addiction :lol:

 

We did have a major hospital though -we were considered the major town for the surrounding areas even more remote then us :001_huh:

 

We went there because we were in dire financial straights and DH was offerred a job there -we lasted 3 years. Because it was so expensive there we never got ahead but at least we had money coming in.

 

Anyway -now we live an hour from the nearest city and I think we are very close :D

 

DH just got another job as a school principal at a tiny school 2 hours commute from here - it has a house onsite because there is nothing there but the school - not even a gas station or mom and pop store. DH wants us to move there for convienience - right now I am making him commute and he often just stays onsite overnight - NO MORE REMOTE AREAS FOR ME - I've paid my dues :nopity:

Edited August 15, 2012 by sewingmama

[elegantlion]

A few other considerations:

 

How well does the town accept newcomers? Our previous town had a huge "you ain't from here vibe" that left me feeling isolated and really damaged my already fragile self-esteem. The area just wasn't used to people moving in from other states and they were, um, friendly hostile, like a cat who just about jumps on you with a smile. I literally had people avoid me because I didn't grow up there. It was not at all the environment I pictured and we went in with a way open mind and expected to make friends and adapt to their culture. No way, they hated us and held up at arms length for the entire time we were there. we historically move every five years, we're used to being the new guy. This was just horrid.

 

Our current town is smaller than 25k, limited opportunities, but people are more welcoming. We still haven't found our groove, after more than a year, but I don't feel like it's a hostile environment.

 

City-data.com (I think that's the site) has some great forums where people will talk good and bad about everywhere. I'd read and read between the lines about the atmosphere of the town.

[DarlaS]

Would you move to the middle of nowhere, if you or DH got a job?

 

A town under 25,000 with not major metropolis for over 3 hours in either direction.

 

No major stores ie: target, costco, trader joes, etc

 

No major art or music or culture available.

 

Four days drive from family (there are some distant relatives there, whom you have met).

 

The pluses though. Decent job, decent pay, decent kind of people.

 

Thoughts?

 

Kind of sounds like where I live now.

 

My town has @ 3,000 people and the county seat @ 10,000 (This was before the economic downturn. The numbers could be even lower now.)

 

Of course about 45 minutes from here is a city of 102,000 (Flint, MI) and 50 minutes from here is a township of @ 96,000 (where my son attends college now).

[happypamama]

Maybe. It would depend on a lot of things. For a really good amount of money, yeah, I'd probably make the sacrifice and do it. To be just so-so and not really, really financially comfortable, I don't know that I would unless I was desperate. Right now, we live 20 minutes from anything and have major shopping within 30 minutes, but even the 20 minutes to a grocery store does tend to grate a bit. Sometimes I just don't want to drive 30 minutes to something, so I know I turn down even free events simply because of the drive. Is that something that's going to bother you later, if you always are driving a long distance to get to activities and such?

[Guest submarines]

YES! We've done it, and might do it again in a couple of years. But we don't have any family anywhere anyway, so it is easier for us.

[DarlaS]

We did it. We have a Walmart about 25 minutes away and a small grocery store right in town. It has taken some getting used to but after almost 8 years I couldn't imagine living in a bigger city.

 

Your internet connection will become very important to you. :)

 

One thing that I LOVE about living in a very small town is how easy everything is: going to the bank is fast, popping into the grocery store for a jug of milk is fast, no waiting at the post office and the clerks there are super nice. It is something I never would have realized before living here.

 

I say go for it!

 

It is exactly like that here. Walmart about 25 minutes away, and one grocery store in town. Are you my neighbor? :w00t:

[Sahamamama]

No, I don't think we would, unless it was required for his work and/or the only decent job he could find. My reasoning:

 

• Four days from family is very, very far. My parents are aging (80 & 76), my children adore seeing them every other day, and we are already at the point of being a support system for them. I just couldn't live with myself if we voluntarily moved too far away to help my mom and dad. OTOH, if we had to go, that would be a different story.
  
• Three hours away from a town/city is a long way to go. How often would you actually make that trip? Three hours round trip is long enough, but three hours one way is too far.
  
• In a town of 25,000 people, there is probably a culture already in place as far as how accepting of "outsiders" most people will be. If you don't fit in there, then what else is there out that way?
  
• Your oldest is only 8/9 years old now, but in a few years -- by about 11 or 12 years old -- peers are going to start to matter more. Even at 8 or 9, children begin to want and need friendships. What activities are there in that town? There might be more (and better) opportunities there, but how long are you planning to stay?
  
• No opportunities for community college/early enrollment later on down the road....
  
• Last but not least, our current mortgage is (of course) under water. :tongue_smilie:So unless the company agreed to buy the house for what we owe on it -- in which case I would move to TIMBUKTU -- we couldn't get out without a huge loss. Also, the zoning/codes around here are horrific, so we'd have to invest $$$$$ to get a C.O., unless the company took the house as is. But, wow, if a company would let me unload this place, I would start packing today. :D Probably not gonna happen, though.
  

Good luck with your decision.

[Dory]

I live in a town of 2,000 with the nearest major city being 3 1/3hrs away. Well that's not entirely true. Grande Prairie is about 1 1/2 hrs. away and it has a population average of 40,000. It's really hard to really say how many people are there though because of people coming and going constantly. Our town has some very hard working individuals who have helped bring things like dance, gymnastics, karate, and other things to our small community. Being in a small community doesn't mean that there are no opportunities, it just means you have to work a little harder for them. Growing up my nearest neighbor was 30min away, so where I live now feels like I'm living in a booming metropolis.

[Saille]

We were faced with this choice not that long ago, and ended up turning it down. It was going to be isolating to the point of being inimical. We'd have had to cross state lines and drive two hours to even GET to our church, for example. YMMV, especially if you find that your political and religious leanings are more in line with that geographical area than was the case for us.

 

We ended up in a smallish city with a major university, and that is a very good fit for us.

[ondreeuh]

Would you move to the middle of nowhere, if you or DH got a job?

 

A town under 25,000 with not major metropolis for over 3 hours in either direction.

 

No major stores ie: target, costco, trader joes, etc

 

No major art or music or culture available.

 

Four days drive from family (there are some distant relatives there, whom you have met).

 

The pluses though. Decent job, decent pay, decent kind of people.

 

Thoughts?

 

Yep! :001_smile: We moved to a town of 7000 for dh's job. It's only 20 minutes from a Target and Lowe's, and an hour from a Costco. We have to fly to visit family unless we want to drive for 6 days. We will be staying here for Christmas this year, though. We do have a distant cousin who lives here and she has been very helpful.

 

I love it here. I can get most of what we need locally. I can get to the bank, grocery store, gas station, library, and thrift store within the small "downtown" area. The people are very nice and polite.

 

Compared to where we lived last year, this is a metropolis! We moved from a village of 74 people that had no stores, no library, no restaurants, no decent people (LOL) and no park or playground. I'm sure a town of 25,000 has plenty of amenities.

[indigomama]

I'm sorry ladies but I have to laugh at your idea of remote and the middle of nowhere :lol:

 

We once lived in the middle of Australia -16 hours from the nearest city. There was nothing there but two grocery stores (old and dingey) and an old department store. I had to buy all my kids clothes online and in Australia no stores deliver (and certainly not to where we lived).

 

You don't save money in an area like that -everything cost triple because of the shipping costs (food etc) - we paid $500 for crib because it was the only one they had in town :glare:

 

Over half the year it was above 40 degrees so we stayed inside a lot. There were no rentals available so rent prices were HIGH and all we could afford was a two bedroom tiny apartment. There were only 2 tv channels and one of them was a local station :lol: There was not much to do in town unless you were into the drinking culture (lots of pubs) :glare:

 

There were no fields to hike in - nothing but red dirt and venemous snakes and billions of flies -the kind that like to stick in your eyes.

 

I credit this place as where I got my internet addiction :lol:

 

We did have a major hospital though -we were considered the major town for the surrounding areas even more remote then us :001_huh:

 

We went there because we were in dire financial straights and DH was offerred a job there -we lasted 3 years. Because it was so expensive there we never got ahead but at least we had money coming in.

 

Anyway -now we live an hour from the nearest city and I think we are very close :D

 

DH just got another job as a school principal at a tiny school 2 hours commute from here - it has a house onsite because there is nothing there but the school - not even a gas station or mom and pop store. DH wants us to move there for convienience - right now I am making him commute and he often just stays onsite overnight - NO MORE REMOTE AREAS FOR ME - I've paid my dues :nopity:

 

 

You are right, remote is relative!

 

You are a better woman than I am, because that would be an instant no for me.

 

It's just that, I grew up with the ocean and a popular college town and I now live just outside Portland, OR. Beautiful mountains, trees, water. Lots of cultural activities.

 

Corn fields seem so different.

[indigomama]

A few other considerations:

 

How well does the town accept newcomers? Our previous town had a huge "you ain't from here vibe" that left me feeling isolated and really damaged my already fragile self-esteem. The area just wasn't used to people moving in from other states and they were, um, friendly hostile, like a cat who just about jumps on you with a smile. I literally had people avoid me because I didn't grow up there. It was not at all the environment I pictured and we went in with a way open mind and expected to make friends and adapt to their culture. No way, they hated us and held up at arms length for the entire time we were there. we historically move every five years, we're used to being the new guy. This was just horrid.

 

Our current town is smaller than 25k, limited opportunities, but people are more welcoming. We still haven't found our groove, after more than a year, but I don't feel like it's a hostile environment.

 

City-data.com (I think that's the site) has some great forums where people will talk good and bad about everywhere. I'd read and read between the lines about the atmosphere of the town.

 

I checked citi-data. And I have actually been there once, and DH's extended family were from there so he has visited a few times and FIL spent his summers there while growing up.

 

So, the town seems friendly, the people seem hospitable. And it is very safe and it would be a homey place for small children to grow up, just wonder about teens and the fact that my kids would have to move away to pursue college/careers.

[Rebecca]

No!

[godsaggie]

With the exception of an extended drive to see family, you have described exactly where I live! We are only a 6 hour drive to my dh's family. Most of my family is here which is why we moved here to begin with...but they aren't keeping us here (we almost never see them.)

 

We love the small town life and the slow pace of things. You would be surprised at what types of art and culture are available when you start looking (certainly not on the same level as a metropolitan area.)

 

Good luck!

[Melissa in Australia]

Would you move to the middle of nowhere, if you or DH got a job?

 

A town under 25,000 with not major metropolis for over 3 hours in either direction.

 

No major stores ie: target, costco, trader joes, etc

 

No major art or music or culture available.

 

Four days drive from family (there are some distant relatives there, whom you have met).

 

The pluses though. Decent job, decent pay, decent kind of people.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

I guess it is all about perspective. A town with under 25000 sounds like a big city to me. I live near a village of less than 50 people, 20 minutes to a town with 1000 people, and the nearest largish shopping center is in a town 100 km away.

And I am only on the edge of nowhere. The middle of nowhere is even further on.:lol:

[Melissa in Australia]

I'm sorry ladies but I have to laugh at your idea of remote and the middle of nowhere :lol:

 

:D

they have no idea!

[Farrar]

Wow. I'd have trouble doing it, but given the financial situation you talked about, then I guess I could see it. I grew up far away from amenities - not anything like that remote, but going to a proper grocery store was more than 45 minutes away - in fact, there was only one little diner and one gas station/bait shop less than 45 minutes away - and I saw that even just that made things hard on my mother. Now, of course, there's a huge mega-Wal-Mart 5 minutes from there. The world keeps getting smaller.

[Heather in Neverland]

Would you move to the middle of nowhere, if you or DH got a job?

 

A town under 25,000 with not major metropolis for over 3 hours in either direction.

 

No major stores ie: target, costco, trader joes, etc

 

No major art or music or culture available.

 

Four days drive from family (there are some distant relatives there, whom you have met).

 

The pluses though. Decent job, decent pay, decent kind of people.

 

Thoughts?

 

NO WAY

 

When I lived in NC we lived in a pretty rural place but there was a big city within an hour and a Target within 45 minutes. That is far enough for me.

 

.

[J-rap]

That's us, and we love it. We moved here only expecting to stay two years (great job opportunity), and ended up staying 19 and still here. It is the best thing we did for our family. :)

 

That being said, I always thought it would be ideal if it were only half the amount of time to a big city...

 

Also, we travel a lot, and our children have had many opportunities to take advantage of experiences and places beyond our middle-of-nowhere town. We've had many fieldtrips to "The City," as folks call it here. We tend to drive in once a week these days. We do have family there, however, so always have a free place to spend the night.

 

But the experience of living in a small, peaceful community where you get to know everyone, can walk everywhere (if in town), feel more connected to the land, live in a bubble that is behind the times in some ways -- making it a safer and more wholesome community for children and teens in particular, has been priceless. Life really is simpler here.

[J-rap]

I'm sorry ladies but I have to laugh at your idea of remote and the middle of nowhere :lol:

 

We once lived in the middle of Australia -16 hours from the nearest city. There was nothing there but two grocery stores (old and dingey) and an old department store. I had to buy all my kids clothes online and in Australia no stores deliver (and certainly not to where we lived).

 

You don't save money in an area like that -everything cost triple because of the shipping costs (food etc) - we paid $500 for crib because it was the only one they had in town :glare:

 

Over half the year it was above 40 degrees so we stayed inside a lot. There were no rentals available so rent prices were HIGH and all we could afford was a two bedroom tiny apartment. There were only 2 tv channels and one of them was a local station :lol: There was not much to do in town unless you were into the drinking culture (lots of pubs) :glare:

 

There were no fields to hike in - nothing but red dirt and venemous snakes and billions of flies -the kind that like to stick in your eyes.

 

I credit this place as where I got my internet addiction :lol:

 

We did have a major hospital though -we were considered the major town for the surrounding areas even more remote then us :001_huh:

 

We went there because we were in dire financial straights and DH was offerred a job there -we lasted 3 years. Because it was so expensive there we never got ahead but at least we had money coming in.

 

Anyway -now we live an hour from the nearest city and I think we are very close :D

 

DH just got another job as a school principal at a tiny school 2 hours commute from here - it has a house onsite because there is nothing there but the school - not even a gas station or mom and pop store. DH wants us to move there for convienience - right now I am making him commute and he often just stays onsite overnight - NO MORE REMOTE AREAS FOR ME - I've paid my dues :nopity:

 

Wow! This reminds me of the movie, "A Town Like Alice"!

[Canadianmumof5]

I often dream of living like this; but then reality slaps me upside the head and reminds me that i could never do it. I know my limits :)

[Shellers]

Yes I would move.

 

We live in a small town with 1,200 people. We have a tiny (over priced) grocery store. Walmart and real grocery stores are 20 miles away. If I want to go to Target or Costco I have to drive 60+ minutes over twisty mountain roads. We have to drive two plus hours to get to big cities.

[JumpyTheFrog]

Can't buy a house, because we can't sell our current one, rentals will be very slim pickings.

 

So you would have to pay rent (which will probably be high, since you said there aren't many rentals available) and the mortgage on your old house? Is your old house underwater? It doesn't seem like paying a mortgage plus rent will help your rental situation.

 

Also, how likely is it that your kids will need services of some kind, like speech or occupational therapy? Are any of them the type that need to be in many sports or activities to keep from going nuts? Are most sports or activities in this town tied to the schools? In many areas, town sports leagues end in middle school, and there are no places to play unless you are on a school team.

 

How old are your parents? A four day drive to see relatives would be a major, major drag. The families we know that have to drive 24 hours to see their families only go maybe every other year or so because it's so tiring and too expensive to fly.

[TammyinTN]

In an instant! :auto: I went from living in farmland the last 7 years to having neighbors in front, behind, beside me....honestly...I need space! I have no problem ordering the things I need from stores..so no worries. I don't like to shop that much anyway!

[MariannNOVA]

No. That does not appeal to me at all.

 

If we had no choice I'd do it, but I would not like it.

 

NO WAY

 

When I lived in NC we lived in a pretty rural place but there was a big city within an hour and a Target within 45 minutes. That is far enough for me.

 

.

 

i didn't read all the responses, but these two sum it up for me. If I had no choice, probably yes. But, I have learned that I am the kind of person who will have to 'retire' to Central Park West.;)

[Harriet Vane]

Yes, absolutely. There are things to appreciate about anywhere one lives, and having a steady income and a husband happy about what he is doing with the majority of his time are important priorities.

[deacongirl]

Oh, I've already done that. Twice.

 

Never ever again will I do that. It was spirit killing.

 

 

The only way I'd consider it is if it was the only job dh or I could get prior to our savings running out. Then I'd do every thing in my power to get out of there as soon as humanly possible. I'd apply for every opening all across the country in order to get back to civilization.

 

:iagree: especially with the spirit killing part.

[Jackie in NE]

Yes, absolutely. There are things to appreciate about anywhere one lives, and having a steady income and a husband happy about what he is doing with the majority of his time are important priorities.

 

:iagree: There are good and bad attributes to every location, and there are good and bad people in every location. The important thing is that you are all together, and able to support your family.

 

It's a tough decision, but at the same time it's a no-brainer because that's where the work is. I would just make the best of it.

 

I wish you the best, Jackie

[Rhonda in TX]

No. I would love to visit, but I could not handle living that every day. I am a city girl and love all the conveniences that come with that.

[LucyStoner]

Maybe. When I lived in a small town I always had the sense that I really needed to leave before sundown. Just a general discomfort and unease but that had more to do with the town than the size of the town. If the people are not anti-newcomers and there are at least some desirable to you opportunities, it could work. Can you go and visit before he accepts?

[Mrs Mungo]

Our first duty station was in the middle of the Mojave desert. It took an hour to drive to Wal-Mart and two hours to get to a mall. We have since lived in several other places, including Europe and Hawaii. We have never lived closer to our families than half a country away. There is good and bad about every single place. Would it help if you were able to think of it as a stepping stone instead of a lifetime commitment?

[Catwoman]

i didn't read all the responses, but these two sum it up for me. If I had no choice, probably yes. But, I have learned that I am the kind of person who will have to 'retire' to Central Park West.;)

 

Maybe we can be next door neighbors! :D