Tohru Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 "I'm not one to judge" I immediately think: oh yeah, really? And then I try to remember when they were last judgmental. But what if you just met the person and that was their reply to a question some one else asked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 "Why not?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I just think yeah OK whatever. In all reality all of us judge people. Deciding on who are our friends, how we dress, the comapny we keep we all judge others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 We should judge, to a degree. We should also discriminate, to a degree. I don't like that these terms have gotten such a negative connotation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 "I'm not one to judge" I immediately think: oh yeah, really? And then I try to remember when they were last judgmental. But what if you just met the person and that was their reply to a question some one else asked? I would interpret it as them stating, politely, that it was not something they felt was any of thier business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 We should judge, to a degree. We should also discriminate, to a degree. I don't like that these terms have gotten such a negative connotation. :iagree: Not all judgement is bad. If you don't judge at all, anything goes, that is not a good recipe for anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 "Why not?" :iagree: As a thinking human, I am to judge. Now, how I act on my judgments is another matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I snort, then back away. I've found, through hard experience, those that announce they don't judge are usually the harshest critics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriK Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 It makes me laugh when people say they aren't one to judge. Really? As a human there is no escaping it. If you say someone is beautiful or kind or nice, you have just judged them. LOL We judge some things good and some things bad, but the bottom line is, we judge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 "Oh, boy, this is going to be good..." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 It makes me laugh when people say they aren't one to judge. Really? As a human there is no escaping it. If you say someone is beautiful or kind or nice, you have just judged them. LOL We judge some things good and some things bad, but the bottom line is, we judge. True, but just because a thought crosses my brain doesn't mean it should cross my lips. I have been in some awkward situations where people have wanted me to give my opinion on something that 1) wasn't any of our business and 2) I would not be comfortable sharing my true thoughts on. When I read the OP I thought of those type of situations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriK Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 True, but just because a thought crosses my brain doesn't mean it should cross my lips. I have been in some awkward situations where people have wanted me to give my opinion on something that 1) wasn't any of our business and 2) I would not be comfortable sharing my true thoughts on. When I read the OP I thought of those type of situations. True, but judging someone isn't dependent on vocalizing that judgement. Wisdom tells you when it is smart to speak and when it is best to button up those judgements. The world would probably be a happier place if we kept many of our judgements to ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) True, but judging someone isn't dependent on vocalizing that judgement. Wisdom tells you when it is smart to speak and when it is best to button up those judgements. The world would probably be a happier place if we kept many of our judgements to ourselves. :iagree: so when I read: "I'm not one to judge" I immediately think: oh yeah, really? And then I try to remember when they were last judgmental. But what if you just met the person and that was their reply to a question some one else asked? I assumed that the someone being questioned was just showing a touch of wisdom. :001_smile: Edited July 16, 2012 by BLA5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 We should judge, to a degree. We should also discriminate, to a degree. I don't like that these terms have gotten such a negative connotation. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I generally take it to be situational. As in, "It's not my place to say what's right in this situation." Perhaps because they believe people should make their own choices about whatever it is or that they don't have enough information or experience with the situation. I also feel like there's a missing word there. It should be, "I'm not one to judge ALOUD." Because I assume everyone has a judgment in their minds. But sometimes it's the polite or prudent thing to not speak it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I would think that you had voiced a judgement or were trying to get one out of them since this was their reply and they didn't follow it up with a lot of judgmental words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I despise 'I'm not one to judge.' Or even, 'we shouldn't judge'. Well, if the speed limit is 55 and a person gets clocked doing 70, are we 'judging' to say they were speeding? If it is then of course we all do it... I think more often than not that person is implying that the behavior in question is perhaps not wrong. It is true we can't judge a persons heart----motives and intentions----but if a behavior is wrong it is not judgmental to say it is wrong. And for those who say it just to stop a conversation that they feel is not their business or might be gossipy.....a friend of mine says--with a deadpan expression---'I just don't know what to say about that.' Works like a charm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 If someone says that I think they are about to start gossiping. I dislike gossip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I wait for, "But..." If it does not happen then I am happily surprised and hope the subject changes. I will admit to wanting to call them on it, just because it seems so snobby to say that :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I've said that before. The way I mean it is, "That might not be the right decision for me, but I'm not judging you for making it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) No one is perfect, and judging behavior is a necessary part of life, but voicing disapproval is something we have to be careful about. If I hear that , I know in that given situation that person doesn't want to voice her opinion of someone else's behavior out loud with me. Maybe it feels like gossip under the circumstances. I know everyone judges so maybe it's a dumb thing to say, but I wouldn't call a person on that because they are maybe trying to do what they think is the right thing. Unless, of course the sentence was more like this, "I am not one to judge, but that outfit just screams 'sleaze bag,' doesn't it?" Edited July 16, 2012 by Danestress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 We should judge, to a degree. We should also discriminate, to a degree. I don't like that these terms have gotten such a negative connotation. :iagree: Not all judgement is bad. If you don't judge at all, anything goes, that is not a good recipe for anyone. :iagree: Also, I've found that when someone says "I'm not one to judge" it's usually followed by "but" and a judgement. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I assume they are trying to be nonjudgmental and are trying to be open minded and accepting. Nothing wrong with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 We should judge, to a degree. We should also discriminate, to a degree. I don't like that these terms have gotten such a negative connotation. This!! If we didn't judge, and I led my children not to judge, they or myself would never allow discernment to be a guide and we'd wind up in some situations we didn't want to be in. Taking the scripture, "Judge not lest you be judged," is the current, politically correct, way of saying not to call bad behavior what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I usually think they are about to say something judgemental.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seshet Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I would assume that they did not have an opinion on the topic or didn't have enough facts to form an opinion, and so it would just be being judgmental to say something. It could also be that they have BTDT & feel it would make them a hypocrite to pass judgment on the situation. So, in that situation or on that topic, they don't feel they have the right to judge, since they've done the same thing before. It could be that they didn't want the conversation to degrade into idle gossip, so they decided not to join in the conversation and chose a phrase that they hoped would make it clear they did not want to continue the topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 When I hear someone say that, my first thought is "wow thanks for the warning before your lack of manners." IMO that phrase is a rude way of saying "that wouldn't be my choice" while still holding onto negative opinions about that person's choice. If someone honestly didn't care then they wouldn't say anything. I've never heard anyone say it without a certain smugness, so it's not a polite phrase in my experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I see a red flag when I hear that, too. When someone describes someone as willing to "give anyone the shirt off their back" it usually means they don't even have one of those to give. In my business I have learned to take notice when people announce their own character traits such as telling me they are honest or fair. Normally, no one really has to bring that up! I also giggle when someone says "...in my heart of hearts..." because this means nothing and is sort of like saying "very, very, very..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 1) that they are judging and are tacking this on like "Bless her heart" after insulting someone. 2) that they are too cowardly to speak for what is right in a situation 3) that they wish the world was better, and people better, but wishing gets you no where, and they know they aren't as good as they'd like to be, too. 4) they feel small and unwise or in the dark in a situation It would depend on the person and the situation, but I've seen all of the above. I've only used the phrase to mean #4. I have said: let who is without sin cast the first stone, when I mean #3 above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I start counting the milliseconds to the "... but ..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I start counting the milliseconds to the "... but ..." :lol: oh yes the "but"---I do not like a "but" in a comment. My ds has the bad habit of saying "I'm sorry, but..." I will break him of that habit!!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristi26 Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Haven't read through the other replies, but when I hear that I figure that either they are about to say something totally judgemental OR they are already judging the speaker for their comment without voicing it aloud. It always sounds like they are trying to remind themselves... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I assume they are going to gossip and I don't like talking about others just for the sake of. ALthough, I think I may have used that term here....in more of a don't mis understand my answer or something, because you can only be so clear in typing a response and I don't want someone to feel like said something I did not mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 When I say it, it's a response so "can you believe xyz!" meaning, okay, if I WAS going to judge, I would probably say something negative, but having done things just as worthy of criticism... I'm not one to judge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 I assume they mean they aren't going to say something bad about the situation. I'm also assuming they know they judge people and situations, but maybe they are the kind of people who don't air their judgments. In that case, I'm impressed with them. Now, if the person said, I'm not one to judge, but... they lose all credibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 :iagree: As a thinking human, I am to judge. Now, how I act on my judgments is another matter. Exactly! I snort, then back away. I've found, through hard experience, those that announce they don't judge are usually the harshest critics. That's been my experience too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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