Many kids-when do you start to feel human again?

[Stayseeliz]

I have 4 kids ranging from 14 months to 10 years old. My two oldest are a big help but I just feel so worn out and tired ALL THE TIME. I have almost no time to exercise or even sit and think for a minute when I'm not exhausted. When does this get better? I miss feeling rested and energetic. I'm still nursing and I'm usually fairly tired when I'm nursing but I just don't even feel human most of the time. The baby has 6 teeth coming in at once so she's not sleeping well either. I am ready to feel like myself again. I won't feel like this forever right??

[prairiewindmomma]

When my youngest hit about 2.5.....she started sleeping through the night, weaned, and pottytrained. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

It really does get better, really. :)

[fairfarmhand]

When my youngest hit about 2.5.....she started sleeping through the night, weaned, and pottytrained. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

It really does get better, really. :)

:iagree:

 

me too.

 

Once my son was mostly potty trained around 3.75. life was REALLY good.

 

PS. My oldest and youngest are 10 yrs apart in age. (4 total) Once oldest dd was old enough to look after youngest, things got much better.

Edited May 28, 2012 by fairfarmhand

[pbb119]

I have 4 also, almost 2, 4, 7, and 9.

 

My 4th sent me over the edge with being overwhelmed. There are times when I still feel like you do, but mostly it has gotten waaaay better. It will, don't worry. And if the baby is getting in 6 teeth at once, once they come in, you will get a great break!!

 

Just make sure that once they are asleep, do something peaceful and relaxing. It is so easy to use their sleep time as a time to finish a load of laundry or 2, clean up their toys, catch up on school type things...etc, etc. It can all wait, trust me. I am pretty anal about a clean and organized house, but I had to let go a little in order to maintain my sanity. Give yourself a break when you can, or make sure that you MAKE time for a break.

 

:grouphug:

[Trilliums]

I only have two and I didn't feel back to normal until youngest was about 6 or 7 years old. This may be why we only have two kiddos. :lol:

 

I was talking to another mom recently and I mentioned how I felt as though I had only recently recovered from babyhood. DS #2 is 13! I can't believe how fast the years have gone by.

[swellmomma]

I am only just starting to emerge into feeling human again, my youngest is turning 5 this fall, oldest turning 14. I have still not slept through the night since I was pregnant with the oldest, but the deep bone exhaustion is starting to ease up, and I am starting to feel like a person again not an appendage to a little person kwim

[besroma]

I have six and feel as you do. I believe that once they are all sleeping through the night and I have time to exercise, I will feel a lot better. :grouphug:

[Stayseeliz]

Thanks for some hope that things will get better. I'm just so tired of "surviving". I feel like I'm running behind my life saying "Hey!! Wait up!" and I'm too tired to run. :) I miss feeling like me and having time to exercise, rest, etc. I LOVE my kids but I am tired. I feel like a got a little glimpse of sanity before I got pregnant with my youngest and the kids were 2, 6 and 8. That wasn't too hard. I just feel overwhelmed and tired. I really do try to keep things low key and not try to expect too much. I don't want to wish the time away but it's hard.

[MamaAkins]

:grouphug: Hugs!

 

This too shall pass. I have 4 children (10 years between the oldest and youngest). Now that my oldest is 14 (soon to 15) and the youngest just turned 5 (also have an almost 11 year old and an 8 year old), I am starting to be able to make time for myself (exercise, hair cut, etc). I spent many years just feeling like I was trying to keep up and make it through another day. I urge you to try to find a way to take a few minutes for yourself, rather than putting it off as long as I did.

[EthiopianFood]

I only have one, and this aspect of multiple children really scares me. I hope you feel better sooner rather than later. Children are the greatest blessing we could ever receive. Why do they also have to be the most draining?? LOL

[mommymilkies]

Have you had your thyroid checked?

 

I would say it will get better, but I would be lying because I have no idea. I have 5 and still feel slightly lucid at any given time!

[KungFuPanda]

I felt human again once my youngest was 4. They were fine with daddy and I got enough sleep to even contemplate the thought of getting out and exercising. Regular sleep, exercise, and a chance to enjoy a creative outlet left me feeling like my old pre-kid self. Having school-aged kids IS the sweet spot. However, I'm beginning to suspect it's just a chance to catch your breath before having teens. :glare:

[Mommyof4ks]

Four was the magic age for me. They were more independent and able to entertain themselves for a bit. Now my youngest just turned 7, and the last couple of years have been wonderful.

[LillyMama]

Thanks for some hope that things will get better. I'm just so tired of "surviving". I feel like I'm running behind my life saying "Hey!! Wait up!" and I'm too tired to run. :) I miss feeling like me and having time to exercise, rest, etc. I LOVE my kids but I am tired. I feel like a got a little glimpse of sanity before I got pregnant with my youngest and the kids were 2, 6 and 8. That wasn't too hard. I just feel overwhelmed and tired. I really do try to keep things low key and not try to expect too much. I don't want to wish the time away but it's hard.

 

If it's not too personal, can I ask how old you are? Because I only have two kids, but I had four second-trimester miscarriages in four years and my hormones got ALL out of whack. I ended up going into a pretty deep depression, and have actually bounced back A LOT once I started on Zoloft this year. My counselor and OB both told me this is very common in women entering their mid-30's (I'm 35) who've had a lot of pregnancies. As another poster said, get your thyroid checked. If you don't feel comfortable looking into anti-depressants, I recommend the book The Mood Cure. It's got great suggestions for food and supplements you can try.

 

Other than that, as others have said, it might just take time. :grouphug:

[Miselainia]

:grouphug:

 

Between #3 and #4, we had a 4 year gap which really helped, but #5 will be 5 in the fall and I'm just starting to feel functional. I am 43 now which is quite different than when I was 27 with my first one.

Best regards.

[Kelly1730]

I have six and feel as you do. I believe that once they are all sleeping through the night and I have time to exercise, I will feel a lot better. :grouphug:

 

 

Yes, this. Sleeping through the night is a wonderful thing! It does get better, hang in there.

[Cassy]

I have four boys aged just 5 to 13 years. Apart from the fact that I'm getting on a bit (48 yo) and heading towards menopause, life is good. It's still quite hard work, but the older two are actually quite helpful now, and they're all really good fun to have around. It does get easier, honestly. In fact, if I weren't so old, it's so lovely having four boys that I might be tempted to do something crazy, like have a fifth :tongue_smilie:.

 

Cassy

Edited May 28, 2012 by Cassy

[Mommyfaithe]

I agree with having your thyroid checked. I am just getting my breath back...and my youngest is 8. I think my issue was babies....and aging/dying parents at the same time. Way too much trauma!

 

Take time for you! Please. This is my btdt advice. It is just sooooooo important. I didn't listen to that advice and ended up in some bad shape....

 

 

A few minutes a day....even just to walk to the corner and back.....

:grouphug:Hang in there....as the saying goes.....raising kids has long days and short years.

 

 

Faithe

[mom24cuties]

I have 4 children also and I feel tired all the time, from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed at 8pm(if I can make it that long). I hardley ever get any time to myself and if I do it is for 30 or so minutes. My kids are 2, 4, 7, and 9. My 7 and 9 year old are easy, so I figure by the time my 2 youngest ones are around the age of my older ones I will be able to start focusing on me a little more.

[2squared]

:grouphug:

 

I have five from 10yo to 1.5yo, and life is just starting to get better again. This last pregnancy was absolutely devastating for us. Four dc was my emotional, physical, and financial limit, so this last baby has been really, really tough. We all love him to pieces, but I am *still* dealing with the trauma of adding him. I am so saddened that I have these residual feelings, and I desperately hope that they fade.

 

With that said, my little guy is routinely sleeping through the night (and the others are as well), and my oldest is beginning to be a big help. My 10yo can make simple meals, and she mowed lawn for the first time yesterday. My 5yo & 10yo are great at playing with and watching the little guy, so that makes things a little easier. I foresee a few golden years before things get crazy again.

[Lab1]

I have four with my oldest being 10 and youngest 20 months. I haven't reached that point yet! I hope that we will have restful nights and I will feel human again in the next yr. I'm just trying to not go insane before then!

[lynn]

You start feeling human again when everyone is sleeping through the night, potty trained, and you can relax without having to constantly listen and watch out for little ones getting into everything they shouldn't.

[Soror]

I've felt human each time around 2 or so, give or take. We'll see this time! When I have #4 mine will be 3, 5.5, and 8.

[BugsMama]

I really appreciate this thread- OP, I'm in the thick of it with you. :grouphug:

[speedmom4]

I could have written your post a few years ago. I really feel for you. I am here to tell you that it does get better! You aren't getting enough sleep and probably have zero time for yourself. My children are now 16, 14, 12, and 10. Sometimes I feel guilty about how much easier it is. It probably didn't really get better until my youngest was 5 or so. He was just such a high energy baby, toddler, young child. He still is but is able to channel it in less dangerous ways now.

 

You probably don't believe me but one day you will look back and long for the days when they were all young!

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

[mommaduck]

We get to feel normal again?!

[UnsinkableKristen]

I can not express how well timed reading this thread was for me!

 

All of us are sick right now, everyone is yelling, and I am bleary-eyed and exhausted from making sure that every sick person feels "mothered" and taken care of.

 

I'm glad to know that it will get a little less...draining... in the years to come :)

[6packofun]

I also agree with the time when youngest hit 3.5-4 years old. Whew! DONE with diapers, starting to be much more independent, and, depending on the kid, excited to "do school" like the big kids so they're getting integrated into your homeschooling lifestyle much more! I love it when my kids get with my program. LOL!!! (That sounds so stuffy, but it's true, even if you're a very relaxed, eclectic homeschooler like me! :P )

[Mom-2-7]

I have 9 kids (only 7 are still at home). The younger 7 range in age from 4 to 9. Two of them are high maintenance kids. They have ADHD and ADD with impulse control issues.

Because of those two I still don't have much "me" time but life is much easier than it used to be. I recently came to realize just how easy it was when I began babysitting my 2 year old granddaughter full time.

I'm back to total exhaustion!

I'm so thankful that we only have 3 days left of school. I really need a break!

[Stayseeliz]

Thanks so much for the encouragement! Someone asked earlier how old I am-35 I know this has something to do with feeling less energetic. I also had a very rough pregnancy this last time with preterm labor, bedrest for months, etc. That has taken a huge toll on my body.

 

DH and I have been discussing my issues with exhaustion etc and one thing I know I can do is give up nursing. I wanted to make it to the two year mark but I know that's one thing I can do to feel better. The weight will hopefully start to come off and I'll be more energetic. DH pointed out that the other kids are getting the short end of the stick since I am wiped out all the time and I need to be alert and energetic for them and nursing just drains me. I know in my head this is the right thing to do but my heart isn't there yet. I nursed my 4yo until 28 months so this is much sooner than expected. I'm still mulling it over but I think this might be the route I take. I have been pregnant, nursing or trying to get pregnant for 10 of the 12 years we've been married. Just the thought of having my body back makes me a tad giddy. Then I feel guilty about being giddy. lol But the baby is so busy that she only nurses a couple of times a day anyway. We shall see.

 

I know I am hypothyroid but I seem to STAY that way when I'm nursing. I have no idea why???

 

Thanks for the commiseration and sympathy! I appreciate it!

[gardenmom5]

:grouphug: It won't be forever.

[meggie]

Thanks so much for the encouragement! Someone asked earlier how old I am-35 I know this has something to do with feeling less energetic. I also had a very rough pregnancy this last time with preterm labor, bedrest for months, etc. That has taken a huge toll on my body.

 

DH and I have been discussing my issues with exhaustion etc and one thing I know I can do is give up nursing. I wanted to make it to the two year mark but I know that's one thing I can do to feel better. The weight will hopefully start to come off and I'll be more energetic. DH pointed out that the other kids are getting the short end of the stick since I am wiped out all the time and I need to be alert and energetic for them and nursing just drains me. I know in my head this is the right thing to do but my heart isn't there yet. I nursed my 4yo until 28 months so this is much sooner than expected. I'm still mulling it over but I think this might be the route I take. I have been pregnant, nursing or trying to get pregnant for 10 of the 12 years we've been married. Just the thought of having my body back makes me a tad giddy. Then I feel guilty about being giddy. lol But the baby is so busy that she only nurses a couple of times a day anyway. We shall see.

 

I know I am hypothyroid but I seem to STAY that way when I'm nursing. I have no idea why???

 

Thanks for the commiseration and sympathy! I appreciate it!

 

She's 14 months? If you need to wean her, do it with no guilt. Celebrate that you made it 14 months! :party:Like that.

[BlsdMama]

I might be the wrong person to ask... :glare:

 

Eh, I can sleep later (I hope.) I have babies to play with! :D

[Tapasnaturalles]

I only started to feel better when I began to eat 100% plant-based. It helped me completely.

I don't wake up tired and I'm not exhausted in the evening anymore.

My household is fine, I can entertain the kids an entire day long and I still have energy left.

I'm still nursing my 2 youngest, though, so my body is really much stronger and healthier. You don't have to wean to feel better.

I'm never going back...

 

Oh, even when you don't want to go 100% plant-based, you can try green smoothies during the day. They contain a lot of nutrients that give you more energy. I started out that way and that was already a big difference.

Oh, and skip sugar/fructose/sacharose/etc. Just leave it where it is... it takes more energy from your body than anything else. I'm using maple/rice/agave syrup instead.

Edited May 30, 2012 by Tapasnaturalles

[Momof3littles]

I have 3 kids, and for me, things have started to feel more normal around age 2-3. THey were sleeping longer stretches, and the older 2 moved to their own rooms when they were about 3. My youngest is just over 2 and is now sleeping in his own room for a good part of the night. He still wakes, but I can get 4-5 hours with him in his own bed, then go in to his room and get him settled again, and then go back to my bed for another 2 hours or so. That really helps. DH and I have our bed back after cosleeping most of the last 8+ years. We are pretty sure our family is complete, and after some burn out I'm prioritizing some me time...working on getting back into shape a bit because I want to, taking some time for me with less guilt, etc. DH and I don't have family nearby that can sit for us, but we just completed interviewing several sitters we found, and we are looking forward to some periodic date nights.

 

In the past, just as I was feeling human again, I was also pregnant again. My s*x drive came back as my cycles returned, and with that usually came another pregnancy.

 

I love my kids, but I'm looking forward to moving past infancy and early toddlerhood. They are 3 years apart, which helps when they are infants, but IMO it also felt a bit like "starting over" each time...things got easier, and then another one came along. That was both a good thing and a challenging thing, iykwim.

[jenangelcat]

When my youngest hit about 2.5.....she started sleeping through the night, weaned, and pottytrained. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

It really does get better, really. :)

 

:iagree:

 

I've been feeling awful for 6 years of pregnancy and/or breastfeeding. I just weaned so my son (last kid) is now sleeping through the night. Just need to night train. All that is usually done by 2 years old for our kids. I'm starting to feel a little better and should be great in another year or two as he moves out of this cranky toddler stage.

[Soror]

I only started to feel better when I began to eat 100% plant-based. It helped me completely.

I don't wake up tired and I'm not exhausted in the evening anymore.

My household is fine, I can entertain the kids an entire day long and I still have energy left.

I'm still nursing my 2 youngest, though, so my body is really much stronger and healthier. You don't have to wean to feel better.

I'm never going back...

 

Oh, even when you don't want to go 100% plant-based, you can try green smoothies during the day. They contain a lot of nutrients that give you more energy. I started out that way and that was already a big difference.

Oh, and skip sugar/fructose/sacharose/etc. Just leave it where it is... it takes more energy from your body than anything else. I'm using maple/rice/agave syrup instead.

 

Veg diets make me feel terrible personally. I feel much better the closest to paleo/primal myself. I've felt fine physically after my babies (excluding #1 because that was an initiation into torture camp). However, with my hormones being different I don't feel myself emotionally for a good while. I also just don't have as much time, even if I have the energy as babies take a lot of time especially nursing on demand. Mine have all pt'd by 2 so that helps as well, although cd's don't take all that much time it is certainly more than once they are well pt'd. I'm trying to work on embracing the slowness and enjoying it though as I have a tendency to want to constantly want to be working on something. Of course now I'm dealing w/ fun pregnancy hormones, sigh.

[Stayseeliz]

Well I made the decision to wean and was all set to start feeling better. Then I had a near nervous breakdown after not nursing for 24 hours. *I* am obviously not ready. I'm going to stick to my original goal of two years of nursing even if I am tired. I am going to make sure to get to bed on time, MAKE time for exercise (which is a little easier since it's summertime) and go back to low carb eating. I have blood sugar issues and need lots of protein so I don't think I could ever go plant based. I feel best with low carb. Thanks for the encouragement guys. I'm hoping I can ride it out until she's two!

[mama2cntrykids]

I'm in the throughs of it, just like you. Always tired. Always. With having baby number four, I **know** this is it for us. I just wouldn't be able to cope with more. I don't know how other mothers do it. Kuddos to them!

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I'm in roughly the same place. Mine are 20 months to 10 years and I'm 38. #3 was 3.5 yo when I found out I was pregnant again. I had just started to feel like I was coming out of that fog.... And now it has been 2.5 more years of exhaustion. :tongue_smilie:

 

I stopped nursing around 14 months and that really did make a difference. When I was nursing and she was teething... Ugh. Now she mostly sleeps through the night and that really helps. I am thinking that things will get progressively better from here on out, but it will probably be two more years before I feel like I am not ON every single second of every day.

[Annie Laurie]

Little ones are so sweet and I have fond memories, but it's a very hard time of life. My kids are 17, 11, 9, 8, and 18 months. When my middle three were all born in a 3 1/2 yr span, I felt like I never had a moment to even think, and then before I knew it, they were all older and it was so much easier. That was by the time the youngest was 3. They would actually go play and let me get things done, they enjoyed helping, they slept well, etc.

 

Then we decided to have another baby, I actually thought we would have two since he has such a space from the other kids, I felt he'd need a sibling close in age to play with. Well, I'm also 35 and this has been the hardest time I've ever had, my baby has always been a terrible sleeper (though he is finally getting better now), and like you, I feel like I need to nurse until at least age 2. He is also a very high-needs child and I have just been walking around in a cloud of exhaustion for 18 months. He won't be getting a sibling, the thought of getting pg actually terrifies me. I think being older this time has really affected me, I know other moms have babies even into their 40s, but I am so glad I had most of mine in my 20s, as it was hectic but I don't remember ever being this exhausted in my life.

 

But they do grow up fast, and it gets so much easier once they're 3 +. My older kids help out around the house a lot, are easy to homeschool at this stage, and are just fun to be around. Hang in there. :grouphug:

[kalanamak]

My mother, who had a pack, lost the eyebrow spasms and general hunted look when the youngest was about 8, and went back to college when the youngest was 15.

[Rosyl]

when my youngest was 5.

[mommy5]

I feel like you do now after having #5 ... I have a 1 month old all the way to 10. It is nonstop ... all day long.

[I.Dup.]

My mother, who had a pack, lost the eyebrow spasms and general hunted look when the youngest was about 8,

 

LOL, love this description :lol:

 

I think 4 is a lovely age. They are a bit more rational, usually potty trained (although my 3 yo is turning 4 next month and is still in diapers full-time, TBH we have not worked to potty train him with 2 younger than him I don't see how him being potty trained would be easier right now) and they are past the he77ish 2-3 yo stage by then.

 

In some ways it makes me so sad to think of being done, in other ways it sure would be nice to move out of these very difficult younger ages.

[heart'sjoy]

http://homeschoolenrichment.com/community/pub9990289168467.cgi?itemid=9990289257425

 

This article was so encouraging.

[creativish]

:grouphug:

Yeah, I was getting glimpses of feeling human again about a year ago when my fifth turned one... but since then, after having surprise twins, i pretty much threw that out the window. After a minor revelation, I am now trying to learn how to "roll with it" more than just aiming to survive, since I know life is going to be crazy for quite some time here on out. My oldest will soon be 10 and I feel that she will be grown before I'm back to where I want to be, so I want to be there as best as I can now-- I've been saying "just wait" for far too long.

:grouphug:

[Bloggermom]

I really appreciate this article. I just had baby # 6 about 10 weeks ago and I am feeling so exhausted. I feel like I went over my physical and mental capacity. Needless to say, he is going to be my last child.