If you wear perfume to church...

[aggieamy]

I'll own up to it. And that is okay. On my grave stone it will say, "She wasn't a nice person."

 

You say it like it is and I think that's a good thing. I frequently find myself nodding in agreement with your posts. Of course, it's possible that we're both jerks but I doubt it. :001_smile:

 

So, the best approach is to get the church leadership informed on the issue and get people aware and sympathetic to the problem. The way the OP acted, if anything, is likely to have people acting the opposite way she wants in response to her rudeness.

 

I have a saying that I use with Little Librarian. I tell her that I'm unable to hear whining. If you have a problem come and tell me calmly and I will help. If you come up to me and all I hear is "wah wah wah ... problem ... wah wah wah." I will be unable to help because I will be annoyed at the tone of voice.

[Denise in Florida]

But it is. . . news to me. I've known people who just don't like to be around perfume, including my dh, but I never realized it was a life or death problem. Where would I have gotten that information unless someone I knew had that allergy? No one I know does or they have not mentioned it if they do. And I am under 50.

 

It is possibly a regional thing? I don't know :001_smile:

 

But I would be more surprised to hear folks don't know that they did know. :lol: That is a grammatically awkward sentence, sorry.

 

I have been hearing of the issue in general congregation announcements and discussions in worship committee meetings since the mid 90's. In that time I have lived in New Mexico, Arizona, Illinois and Florida.

 

It want to repeat my original statement that I would not want to embarass anyone, but from my viewpoint (which I admit must not be as common as I thought) excessive perfume is no more socially acceptable than second hand smoke.

[Denise in Florida]

Most churches and performance centers (theatres, concert halls) as well as hospitals I've been to within the last few years have all had signs up in the bathrooms to kindly not use scent when coming. I think this is pretty standard practice to help inform people that a great many people are highly sensitive to the products.

 

I just had a thought though, our church used insense quite a bit during holy week. It's not normally used here. That was probably tough for a lot of people with sensitivities. My children noticed the smell and didn't like it, but they don't have allergies. I guess for these infrequent, special occassions those with allergies would have to be aware and sit at the back, near an open window, or avoid the service. I wish there was a way to accommodate everyone.

 

I see them around too. :001_smile: But I will agree with the other posters that perhaps it is a regional thing.

[ktgrok]

Most churches and performance centers (theatres, concert halls) as well as hospitals I've been to within the last few years have all had signs up in the bathrooms to kindly not use scent when coming. I think this is pretty standard practice to help inform people that a great many people are highly sensitive to the products.

 

I just had a thought though, our church used insense quite a bit during holy week. It's not normally used here. That was probably tough for a lot of people with sensitivities. My children noticed the smell and didn't like it, but they don't have allergies. I guess for these infrequent, special occassions those with allergies would have to be aware and sit at the back, near an open window, or avoid the service. I wish there was a way to accommodate everyone.

 

I've been to many Episcopal churches that note on the schedule ahead of time which Holy Week services will have incense, and try to have one service that doesn't.

[ktgrok]

I think the point here is that it is the OP that has the issue, and YES, of course others should want to help, but you don't solicit help by being rude. Asking nicely does wonders.

[QueenCat]

Most churches and performance centers (theatres, concert halls) as well as hospitals I've been to within the last few years have all had signs up in the bathrooms to kindly not use scent when coming. I think this is pretty standard practice to help inform people that a great many people are highly sensitive to the products.

 

I've never seen signs like this at a theater or concert hall... only in a hospital. Spent most of my adult life in the Atlanta and Nashville areas... pretty urban areas.

[myfunnybunch]

STOP IT. There is no excuse, absolutely none, for imposing your scent on fellow church-goers.

 

Yes. :iagree:

 

Our church bulletin has a note inside every Sunday asking churchgoers not to wear perfumes or use other strongly scented products.

 

Cat

[Mom0012]

I haven't read all the posts, but I do wonder if chemical sensitivies have become more common just like food allergies have. When I was in my 20's, it was very common to wear perfume and no one ever seemed to think anything of it. My mom and grandmother wore it as well and I always enjoyed their scent. Now, I wouldn't dare wear perfume because I feel like I'd be setting myself up for an attack. It is weird to me that the number one place you hear complaints about this is at church of all places.

 

Lisa

[Denise in Florida]

I haven't read all the posts, but I do wonder if chemical sensitivies have become more common just like food allergies have. When I was in my 20's, it was very common to wear perfume and no one ever seemed to think anything of it. My mom and grandmother wore it as well and I always enjoyed their scent. Now, I wouldn't dare wear perfume because I feel like I'd be setting myself up for an attack. It is weird to me that the number one place you hear complaints about this is at church of all places.

 

Lisa

 

I think that might be because it is one of the more common places to wear perfume. I remember when I was younger that Sunday Church meant special Sunday clothes and shoes, extra nice makeup and perfume.

 

I still dress nicely for church and bible study but I haven't worn perfume in years. I think I first started seeing pleas in church bulletins to not wear perfume way back in the '90's.

[joannqn]

I think it is an issue of overburdened bodies. EVERYTHING is scented now. Even "unscented items" are scented to mask the smell of the ingredients.

 

I've gone to a small group in the past where I've had to change seats. I've explained that I'm moving seats, not because I don't like you but because your scented products are making me feel ill. I'm careful to say products rather than perfume because it's anything scented...perfume, hairspray, lotion, makeup, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, scented laundry soap, fabric softener. Any one person could have nine different scents on them any given time, but if you say perfume, they might stop that but still smell strongly.

[PeacefulChaos]

I do think though, that sitting in church you might want to be less judgemental. Give people the benefit of the doubt. I really don't think they put on perfume thinking it would hurt someone.

:iagree: This is the first thing I thought when I saw the OP.

So next time, I should ask the offenders to leave the service and wash up? Should I hand out wipes? Unscented soap and warm wash cloths? Just wondering what you think the appropriate "direct" response should be. Should we have just stayed there and sneezed and sniffled through the service, possibly whipped out an inhaler when necessary? I certainly don't want to offend anyone whose scent has polluted my air space, so please let me know what I should have done.

 

Terri

... Uh, are you for real?? :001_huh: So you don't care to be polite? By all means, move. Just be nice about the whole thing.

Well my momma always said you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

 

I understand allergies. But the original post was way over the top. People aren't out to get you with their perfume. Wearing perfume is socially acceptable. You have the allergy.

 

Fluorescent lighting gives me migraines. Should I stomp into every store, church, school or public facility of any kind that has fluorescent lighting and rant and rave and accuse them of being insensitive to my migraines? No. Fluorescent lighting is common. I am the one with the problem so I cope with it or I don't go to those places.

 

Your pastor may very well be willing to establish a no perfume zone but I sincerely hope you ask in a much nicer way than how you presented it here.

.

:iagree:

And if this is how you handle the situation ... By being rude to those who may not even realize it is a problem... Then you deserve to be called rude and have your requests ignored.

 

I prefer to handle things in a more civilized manner. YMMV

:iagree:

 

So I agree with this.

 

But also think the same thought applies to people who heard stories of children's eyes swelling shut, 911 having to be called for people whose throats were closing, 2-day migranes and essentially said, "Forget you. I don't like your delivery so I'm going to keep doing things that cause others harm." Jesus would totally have endorsed that. That's just his style.

 

My jaw just dropped when I read one particular response. This thread is giving me tremendous insight into how "Christians" act. Wowza. Forget turning the other cheek, we should escalate instead.

 

And I am NOT sensitive to scents.

I haven't seen anyone do anything bolded. We don't (or at least, I don't) know the OP in real life - obviously, whether or not I wear perfume is of no importance. The issue is with the people at the church... and, let's be honest, most of these people probably don't even realize they are offending anyone. So it needs to be brought up (politely!) to the leaders of her church to try to find a solution that works for everyone. And, TBH, that will probably require compromise on the part of the OP also.

But it is. . . news to me. I've known people who just don't like to be around perfume, including my dh, but I never realized it was a life or death problem. Where would I have gotten that information unless someone I knew had that allergy? No one I know does or they have not mentioned it if they do. And I am under 50.

Me, too. I have only known that scented products bother people for a few years. I haven't ever seen signs posted or anything like that. I only have heard about it during our church's musicals (don't spray perfume/body spray in the dressing rooms, preferably don't wear it at all during musicals because of the close quarters backstage, etc.) and our church choir (don't wear perfume when singing in the choir). That said, I don't know anyone with strong enough perfume that I can smell it unless I'm right next to them. We do have one girl in the nursery (worker) whose perfume I can occasionally smell on DD if she was in there. It's not awful, but I wear a little body spray here and there, too.

You should have politely asked an usher for help. That's what they're there for. Then, today, you should call the church office and find out who to speak to about a "scent-free" zone.

 

:iagree: I had no idea it could be life or death.

 

FWIW, I tend to shut down and tune out when someone yells at me, which is what happened in the OP. Like a PP said, you win more flies with honey.

 

For future reference, if your post had been worded something like: "I'm so frustrated! My kids have scent allergies and we had to move three times at church yesterday because people wore too much perfume. How would you handle this? I don't want to have to move around like this every week!" you would have received a lot of sympathy and suggestions.

:iagree:

I'll own up to it. And that is okay. On my grave stone it will say, "She wasn't a nice person."

:lol: This made me laugh. Sorry. Mine would probably say the same thing... :D

I haven't read all the posts, but I do wonder if chemical sensitivies have become more common just like food allergies have. When I was in my 20's, it was very common to wear perfume and no one ever seemed to think anything of it. My mom and grandmother wore it as well and I always enjoyed their scent. Now, I wouldn't dare wear perfume because I feel like I'd be setting myself up for an attack. It is weird to me that the number one place you hear complaints about this is at church of all places.

 

Lisa

I thought of this, too. I know the smell of my grandma's perfume, even though she didn't wear much. I just don't recall anyone saying anything about this until very recently. And then, I didn't know it was so widespread.

[Aggie]

IME, the cheaper scents, like Bath and Body, and other teen scents, are the worst offenders. Although I don't like to be around *too* much of an expensive cologne, the cheap ones seem to have something awful in them.

 

Another strong scent that wipes me out is fabric softener. Blech!

 

Here is what I don't understand on a practical level: why people feel it's ok to spray a chemical on themselves, and then inhale it, have it come in contact with skin, eyes, lungs. To me, it's the equivalent of spraying Lysol on yourself. A quick google search would be very informative, from a health stand-point. Do some research on the chemicals, how the industry is (not) regulated, etc. Just because something is manufactured and sold does not make it safe.:glare:

[Aggie]

I haven't read all the posts, but I do wonder if chemical sensitivies have become more common just like food allergies have. When I was in my 20's, it was very common to wear perfume and no one ever seemed to think anything of it. My mom and grandmother wore it as well and I always enjoyed their scent. Now, I wouldn't dare wear perfume because I feel like I'd be setting myself up for an attack. It is weird to me that the number one place you hear complaints about this is at church of all places.

 

Lisa

 

 

I think the ingredients are cheaper and more dangerous now.

[cdrumm4448]

Now I've seen everything.

 

I live in a suburb of Chicago and in 42 years I've never encountered a sign anywhere that discourages scent in public places, so, for many people that's not common knowledge.

[aggieamy]

Now I've seen everything.

 

I live in a suburb of Chicago and in 42 years I've never encountered a sign anywhere that discourages scent in public places, so, for many people that's not common knowledge.

 

Maybe it's not a midwestern thing? The people that have seen it seem to be from the south. I'm Catholic and never seen it mentioned at the churches I attend.

[GingerPoppy]

Now I've seen everything.

 

I live in a suburb of Chicago and in 42 years I've never encountered a sign anywhere that discourages scent in public places, so, for many people that's not common knowledge.

 

I'm Canadian, and I've seen it in school offices, church, and other places. One of my best friends is sensitive to the point that she is very sick. I can't take strong and/or cheap perfumes or highly scented products myself, or feel headachy and can't think clearly. It's not fun.

 

I do think it's becoming more common, and I also, like a pp, believe its from an overload placed on our bodies. I used to be able to wear perfume and be around it as a teen. No longer.

[curlylocks]

Now I've seen everything.

 

I live in a suburb of Chicago and in 42 years I've never encountered a sign anywhere that discourages scent in public places, so, for many people that's not common knowledge.

 

 

 

I live in Maine -- I've traveled to NH, VT, MA, RI, CT, -- all along the eastern seaboard as far south as FL -- and in 42 years I've never encountered a sign that discourages scent in public places...

 

I don't think the OP can assume that people KNOW that scent bothers her and her family and I don't think she'll get much sympathy unless she changes her attitude. ;)

[Denise in Florida]

Now I've seen everything.

 

I live in a suburb of Chicago and in 42 years I've never encountered a sign anywhere that discourages scent in public places, so, for many people that's not common knowledge.

 

There has been wide variety here.:001_smile:

 

I started off my posts on the subject thinking "surely everyone knows not to use perfume" :lol: and therefore the folks at the OPs church service knew they were being discourteous to others.

 

Apparently, not so!

 

For what it is worth. I have lived in Arizona, New Mexico and Florida and I remember this being discussed in church meetings as far back as 1990's. I also lived in Illinois for awhile but don't remember if it was discussed there.

[ssavings]

It must be the specific church... I'm in Florida, lived in Pittsburgh and Ohio, and never have seen anything about such serious allergies to scents. I don't personally wear any, but it NEVER would have dawned on me that it'd be life-threatening.

And I'm reasonably familiar with allergies, because my DS has allergies.

 

I know that allergies are exhausting. So, I understand the OP's frustration. But, honestly, I highly doubt that most people walk around deliberately causing allergic reactions. Even people who know about allergies sometimes just don't think of these things.

[SKL]

I can't imagine telling old ladies who have always worn perfume that they are not allowed to wear any at all in church of all places. Come on. Yes, I'm totally on board with the idea that perfume needs to be "subtle" and some people could use a lesson in application. But it's hard to believe that at the church the OP was at, every place he went had someone like that in it.

 

You know, sometimes when I'm in church a person I sit near has an ostomy bag that stinks. Seriously. Or an old person farts. But I'm not there in the mindset that "everyone here needs to cater to my needs and desires or they are going to hear about it." Being in church is often very meaningful to older people. I think we ought to respect their feelings even though it might not give us the most awesome experience all the time.

 

If you truly cannot stand perfume, you know it going in. And you need to know that it is "your" issue, IMO.

 

I also think that a nasty comment voiced in church leaves something more unpleasant in the air than a smell. Especially on Easter morning, when most of the people are in an awesome mood. Blah, I would have been so angry if my girls heard something like that in church yesterday morning.

[QueenCat]

Maybe it's not a midwestern thing? The people that have seen it seem to be from the south. I'm Catholic and never seen it mentioned at the churches I attend.

 

I've been in the south for more than 20 years. I do not know anyone with super sensitive scent issues. At least not anyone who has the issue so bad, they need to inform those around them for their health. Doubt it's a southern thing.....

[BigMamaBird]

I live in the Midwest and we have the back two center rows reserved as Scent Free, but it is a pretty big church, maybe 200 families.

[SKL]

Also - if you could not concentrate on the sermon because you were wondering whether perfume wearers are nasty or stupid - that is also "your" issue. When I have difficulty getting over a perceived wrong, I work on myself, because that's one of the points of spirituality in the first place. I seem to recall a Bible quote to the effect that you don't come to God while holding a grudge; first you resolve your grudge and then you are in the right mindset to be spiritual.

[eternalknot]

I like what SKL posted above. ETA: both posts, since one more was added while I typed!

 

I get migraines from lights and smells, so I empathize ... but I also know that most people don't wake up in the morning organized and chipper enough to take time to dream up ways they can go about ruining my specific day. I certainly don't assume they have (unless, maybe, they're related to me LOL.)

 

I do a lot of traveling for work. It's always close quarters, and since seating is assigned it's not usually an option for me to move about and find a new seat. Sometimes in the course of my work, I'm not sitting but have to serve people with strong aromas. It's not an option to skip them, the onus is on me to figure out how to make the situation work. The world doesn't exist to suit me. (Or so my mom keeps telling me, and I'm finally beginning to believe. Dang it, that would've been my preference ....!)

 

If it were a place I attended regularly, I'd be pro-active - especially if it were a health concern, but even if it were just a generic preference without health implications. I remember vaguely, in the 90s, the issue of parfum inserts in fashion magazines. Then I don't remember hearing about it anymore ::shrug:: so the issue didn't go away, it just got pushed out of the headlines and mainstream thought. It wasn't relevant to me then, and isn't really now IMO, so out of sight equaled out of mind; it's not that I'm ignorant of the issue, it's that I'm unaware because it's not relevant to my life right now. I don't read fashion mags, and I deal with migraines as they come up. I can control some triggers, but not all, and that's life in the big city - you know?

 

I'm not in the business of reading other people's minds, anticipating other people's needs, or purposefully ruining other people's air space ... ask my kids LOL ... but sometimes it happens. It doesn't mean I did it on purpose, and it doesn't mean I'm an idiot or selfish. It simply means I'm unaware. I may still not care in the end, but I'd appreciate the opportunity to show that I can -and will. Passive-aggressiveness does nothing to help; it doesn't even seem to have helped you (OP) process the situation.

 

It's a valid complaint. Don't demonize it or belittle it by being the wrong kind of poster child for the cause.

[Slartibartfast]

Has your church considered a scent-free area? Fully 1/4 of our sanctuary is scent-free so that there is a wide zone of protection for those who need it.

 

That would be great, I wish more churches would do things like that.

[Butter]

I haven't read all the posts, but I do wonder if chemical sensitivies have become more common just like food allergies have. When I was in my 20's, it was very common to wear perfume and no one ever seemed to think anything of it. My mom and grandmother wore it as well and I always enjoyed their scent. Now, I wouldn't dare wear perfume because I feel like I'd be setting myself up for an attack. It is weird to me that the number one place you hear complaints about this is at church of all places.

 

I've had perfume allergies my whole life (I'm 34). I've always just dealt with it and count it a bonus if someone refrains from dousing themselves when asked. I am not surprised at all that the number one place people complain about people wearing scents is church. It makes perfect sense because many people don't feel fully dressed up without their perfume and they are getting dressed up to go to church.

[Slartibartfast]

I haven't read all the posts, but I do wonder if chemical sensitivies have become more common just like food allergies have. When I was in my 20's, it was very common to wear perfume and no one ever seemed to think anything of it. My mom and grandmother wore it as well and I always enjoyed their scent. Now, I wouldn't dare wear perfume because I feel like I'd be setting myself up for an attack. It is weird to me that the number one place you hear complaints about this is at church of all places.

 

Lisa

 

I do think there is a huge increase in the number of items with artificial scents in them. Essential oils and perfumes made with them do not bother me but many of the more artificial scents do, as well as room fresheners, dryer sheets, laundry detergent and things of that nature.

[Stellalarella]

Wow.

 

Now I know.

[Audrey]

I disagree. I prefer perfume over the smell of bodies. That said, I do realize some people are over-zealous with it.

 

I won't be curtailing my own perfume use, though. Lucky for you I don't go to your church. ;)

[Belacqua]

You know that study that showed something like 85% of people think they're above average drivers? Maybe it's sort of like that. Perhaps asking people to use light scent or not to douse themselves in perfume isn't working because we all think we're using it sparingly?

 

We'll say things like, "I use a little body spray." Or, "I use only a bit of scent." And for most of us, it's probably true. But what about that, say, ten percent? They probably aren't thinking, "Oh yeah, I like lots of perfume! To heck with less is more...I want them smelling me in the next county." I imagine they think they aren't using very much at all.

 

I agree that most overscented people probably aren't intentionally hurting anybody (there will be a few, of course, because we can't avoid the jerks entirely). But they still are making things miserable for some of us, and my sympathies are with those of you who are suffering.

[goldberry]

Most churches and performance centers (theatres, concert halls) as well as hospitals I've been to within the last few years have all had signs up in the bathrooms to kindly not use scent when coming. I think this is pretty standard practice to help inform people that a great many people are highly sensitive to the products.

 

 

I'm 45 and have NEVER seen this. I live rural now, but lived for 20 years in the Dallas area, attending plenty of theaters, halls, etc. At our church, before we have a big gathering, we are sometimes reminded to "go gently on the perfume" out of respect for those who might be bothered. I wouldn't think that meant to never wear anything scented, but to not go overboard.

 

I would think it would be odd to have SEVERAL people in one group who all went overboard. If people wearing perfume or scented lotion even in moderation bothered me, I would consider that my problem to deal with, and would talk to whoever was in charge to help me find a better place to sit.

 

I think that wearing scented products in moderation is considered accceptable in our society. Going overboard is considered a faux pas and would not be inappropriate to address in a kind manner (I would only do that with someone I know well, not a stranger). But again, it would be odd to find SEVERAL in a group, the way the OP described who were actually overboard.

[Parrothead]

I live in Maine -- I've traveled to NH, VT, MA, RI, CT, -- all along the eastern seaboard as far south as FL -- and in 42 years I've never encountered a sign that discourages scent in public places...

 

I don't think the OP can assume that people KNOW that scent bothers her and her family and I don't think she'll get much sympathy unless she changes her attitude. ;)

Hey neighbor. Don't head north to The County. There are signs in our local hospital.

 

That is the only place I've ever come across one.

[Mommyof4ks]

Wow, I had no idea perfume was such shot topic. My ds is sensitive to plug in air fresheners, but we just take Benadryl wherever we go, because many places have those. He wears a mask when we go into places where there are lots of scents (those N-95 masks contain charcoal that removes scents). Can you get some of those to wear to church? Maybe that seems odd, but between a child with allergies and a child who survived cancer we are used to masks lol. It teaches the kids to take care of themselves to rather an expecting others to change for their needs.

[bookfiend]

Wow, I had no idea perfume was such shot topic. My ds is sensitive to plug in air fresheners, but we just take Benadryl wherever we go, because many places have those. He wears a mask when we go into places where there are lots of scents (those N-95 masks contain charcoal that removes scents). Can you get some of those to wear to church? Maybe that seems odd, but between a child with allergies and a child who survived cancer we are used to masks lol. It teaches the kids to take care of themselves to rather an expecting others to change for their needs.

 

Might be one to add to the list, shopping carts, crockpots, shoes in the house...and now perfume. :D

[TranquilMind]

:cheers2::thumbup:

 

Please, somebody save us! Stop wearing perfume everywhere except in your own house, if your husband can tolerate it during allergy season.

 

I have to leave a lot of places, and it sure would be nice if I didn't.

[NASDAQ]

You know, churches are often shelters for people who don't necessarily have the personal skills (or their personal skills are in free-fall) to be as successful as they want to be in regular society. Wearing an absolute ton of perfume is a hygiene problem. It's sad that these people are isolated enough that they don't have anyone who says, I love you mom/auntie/friend, but the perfume has gotten too heavy. And hygiene is something that often goes when people become ill or depressed.

 

We have assigned seating at synagogue, and the people behind me are big talkers. I understand the frustration with people who just seem not to be aware of the basic rules of social engagement.

[TranquilMind]

I'm 45 and have NEVER seen this. I live rural now, but lived for 20 years in the Dallas area, attending plenty of theaters, halls, etc. At our church, before we have a big gathering, we are sometimes reminded to "go gently on the perfume" out of respect for those who might be bothered. I wouldn't think that meant to never wear anything scented, but to not go overboard.

 

I would think it would be odd to have SEVERAL people in one group who all went overboard. If people wearing perfume or scented lotion even in moderation bothered me, I would consider that my problem to deal with, and would talk to whoever was in charge to help me find a better place to sit.

 

I think that wearing scented products in moderation is considered accceptable in our society. Going overboard is considered a faux pas and would not be inappropriate to address in a kind manner (I would only do that with someone I know well, not a stranger). But again, it would be odd to find SEVERAL in a group, the way the OP described who were actually overboard.

There is nothing with wearing scent in moderation.

 

The problem is...if I can smell you, particularly from 10, 15, 25, 50 feet away...you are WEARING TOO MUCH.

 

If it isn't detectable except to people who get up close and personal, then it is being worn as scent is meant to be worn. It isn't something that should enter the building before you (general you) do!

 

Some people missed the memo on that.

[TranquilMind]

I was very ill this year from pollen. I suppose I should expect my neighbors to cut down all their gorgeous flowering trees to prevent me becoming so ill.

 

 

OR i can choose to manage my own issues and not put them on everyone else.

Those of us who can't tolerate massive perfume overload DO manage our own issues. We stay home and let you (general you) stink up the venue to your heart's content.

 

It would be nice if we didn't have to. Not everyone is this way, but there are always those couple of women that you can smell coming from half a mile away.

[Denise in Florida]

]Might be one to add to the list' date=' shopping carts, crockpots, shoes in the house...and now perfume[/b']. :D

 

:iagree: Who would have guessed? :lol:

[TranquilMind]

Ugh! I know!

 

We actually left church last spring once because we walked in and the entire sanctuary smelled like a perfume bomb had been let off. I had a full-blown migraine creeping in before we left and was miserable for a solid 36 hours afterwards. I was only in the building for 3 or 4 minutes!

 

I truly think people don't know how much it physically hurts those who are sensitive to it. It isn't a personal preference thing... it's a health thing.

 

Well, I guess it is my personal preference not to have agonizing pain. So yeah, personal preference.

 

LOL. Yes, my personal preference is not to spend the night gasping for air, wondering if I have to go to the ER.

 

Selfish of me, I know...:D

[TranquilMind]

My mother taught me when I was a young teen that perfume was something you put on lightly so that your husband or such gets the whiff when you are close.

 

YES! Whatever happened to this common sense RULE?

 

We all used to know this. All of our mothers must have said the same thing.

 

What the heck is going on today?

[TranquilMind]

We solved the problem. We no longer attend.:tongue_smilie:

That's really sad.

 

And I had to do it too for several months. Seems better this year so I'm trying.

[TranquilMind]

right?

 

 

one does get tired of all the dramatic proclamations from the allergic about their highly sensitive this and thats.

 

We have allergies too. We deal. We dont assume others should cater to our needs every where we go or that if they dont they are being horrible.

Was she being "horrible"? I didn't read it like that.

 

I read it more as a reminder that if you haven't thought of this, it really, really causes some people to have to leave or stay away, so you might want to reconsider spraying that huge cloud that will precede you everywhere.

 

If it doesn't apply, then disregard.

[TranquilMind]

:iagree: I don't even wear perfume, but I completely understand the sentiment.

 

I would roll my eyes if I saw someone at church passive aggressively say "PERFUME" and move away from me in a snit instead of directly addressing the problem.

 

How would one "directly address the problem". The damage is DONE. Are you going to ask the woman to go home and shower? I don't think so.

 

I wouldn't anything, because...what's the point? It's done.

 

But I have been forced to move many, many times.

[TranquilMind]

We have quite a few people at church that are sensitive to perfumes. I never wear it and have told my girls not to as well. I get it. :grouphug:

[insert standing ovation for Katie here.]

[mommaduck]

I get it; however, in our church, if the perfume can be smelled over the incense, then it's too strong :lol: Those that are over sensitive to the incense do not serve at the altar and will stand either in the back, in the foyer, or in the balcony.

[TranquilMind]

stripe: Instead of dealing with the people who actually did something that bothered you, some segment of people in a totally different environment are yelled at, and then yelled at again for not obeying the requests of someone they don't know and probably will never meet.

 

She's not yelling at them. I think she worded this as a vent.

 

You know...how we vent about different things here? Like salesmen banging on our doors, or people that won't stop calling even though we are on the no-call list?

 

What...she's not allowed to vent about perfume now? I think she was just getting it out and hoping for some empathy. Obviously, there isn't a lot to go around for people who can't tolerate the overwhelming scent some others think they must wear everywhere they go.

 

I missed that in the rulebook.

 

You have no right to tell someone to leave their worshiping because you don't like their odor.

 

No, and she did no such thing, unless I completely missed that post. Apparently the perfumed one has the right to force others to leave by indulging in his/her strong scent, by this logic.

[TranquilMind]

plansrme:I think there is a big difference in being forced to sit next to someone for 1.5 hours and getting a whiff as you walk by in Target.

 

 

No kidding. There is absolutely no reason to wear noticeable perfume (as in you can be smelled more than a few inches away) anywhere, but particularly in closed locations where people are forced to sit. It's one thing to be shopping in a store...they can easily move. It's another to be forced to wait next to one of these people who think their perfume should be detectable several feet/yards/football fields away. School or community meetings, airplane, government office, DMV....skip it. Be considerate. Those people can't get away until their business is concluded.

 

Seriously? My kids should have to wear surgical masks in church?

 

Apparently. Because some on this thread must think you must be talking about a tiny drop half the size of a pea of moderately scented hand lotion or that tiny drop behind the ears, not the spray-downs of skin and clothing resulting in a waft that undulates toward its victims that I know you are talking about.

 

I have to say that this has been an eye-opening thread. I stand by my original post, though--there is no excuse for wearing strong perfume in church. If you are doing so knowing that it bothers other people, that is rude and inconsiderate, and you deserve to be called on it; if you are doing it out of ignorance, well, now you know.

 

Agreed.

[TranquilMind]

You raised a real issue on the thread, but by the time I got to this post, any original motivation to help you brainstorm appropriate responses has evaporated. If you're content with a passive-aggressive approach IRL and scolding and sarcasm online, you're on your own.

No, it is a legitimate question. Really...what should she have done while in the circumstance...except leave? She was really asking, if I read it correctly.

[LG Gone Wild]

I disagree. I prefer perfume over the smell of bodies. That said, I do realize some people are over-zealous with it.

 

I won't be curtailing my own perfume use, though. Lucky for you I don't go to your church. ;)

 

:iagree: with your disagreement.

 

Sigh. Another idiotic shopping cart thread.