msjones Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I sometimes click on signature links to the blogs of fellow WTMers. I really enjoy some of them. But some blogs are mostly about how badly their kids behave, how they are immature, disrespectful, obnoxious, way behind in school, and difficult to live with. :001_huh: The blogs often include many photographs of these children. These appear to be public blogs. Won't your kids read these some day? (Or today?) Are your relatives, neighbors and friends reading these? I'm sure I'll be flamed by some of you, but I don't mind. I just want to say that folks should think twice before they air their children's dirty laundry on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I have an acquaintance who says horrible things about her children on Facebook...and I know they are reading it. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Wow. I haven't seen those. I tend to go toward the bragging on how cute they are thing too much. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Whoa, really? I haven't come across that (I sometimes click on blogs). I don't have a blog. I've told people way too much anyway. :tongue_smilie::D I have had to take a couple of photos off of FB that embarrassed ds...he is 12 now and doesn't want 'cute' pics of himself on there for his friends to see. I am careful what I say about him. He is a sensitive kid and I don't want to hurt him even with what i think is cute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Huh, I must not check a lot of blogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) I sometimes click on signature links to the blogs of fellow WTMers. I really enjoy some of them. But some blogs are mostly about how badly their kids behave, how they are immature, disrespectful, obnoxious, way behind in school, and difficult to live with. :001_huh: The blogs often include many photographs of these children. These appear to be public blogs. Won't your kids read these some day? (Or today?) Are your relatives, neighbors and friends reading these? I'm sure I'll be flamed by some of you, but I don't mind. I just want to say that folks should think twice before they air their children's dirty laundry on the internet. Now I have this great desire to go clicking around on blogs.... Edited February 17, 2012 by Renee in FL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I have noticed that most parents seem to slow down the blogging and stop getting so detailed as their kids get out of the toddler years. For example, I see many people blog about their kids' potty misadventures and tot tantrums, but fast forward a couple of years, and things are sanitized and updated much less frequently. Honestly, I would not want to see a blog post about carping in my pants at any age, but maybe I'm weird. I haven't happened across any blogs I know of where a lot of details are given about older kids being horrible. Yes, at times there is a mom "keepin' it real" but it is usually vague as to exactly who has gotten her goat and how. I don't have a blog, but I have a few sites (like this one) where I anonymously blab about personal stuff. Now that my kids can sneak up behind me and read as I'm typing, I tend to be more aware. Though, even on my worst days, I hope it comes across that I'd kill or die for the adorable little monsters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Whoa, really? I haven't come across that (I sometimes click on blogs). I don't have a blog. I've told people way too much anyway. :tongue_smilie::D I haven't found that either and I'm pretty regular about clicking through to blogs in siggy lines. Maybe you just hit several bad ones or ones when mom was having a bad day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Maybe I don't read enough blogs. but I can't remember reading anything like that from WTM bloggers. I sometimes click on signature links to the blogs of fellow WTMers. I really enjoy some of them. But some blogs are mostly about how badly their kids behave, how they are immature, disrespectful, obnoxious, way behind in school, and difficult to live with. :001_huh: The blogs often include many photographs of these children. These appear to be public blogs. Won't your kids read these some day? (Or today?) Are your relatives, neighbors and friends reading these? I'm sure I'll be flamed by some of you, but I don't mind. I just want to say that folks should think twice before they air their children's dirty laundry on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Wow. I haven't seen those. I tend to go toward the bragging on how cute they are thing too much. ;) Yes, I actually get more discouraged by the "my family is perfect, I'm a the greatest mom, an excellent cook, spend 5 hours a day praying and reading my Bible, AND I home decorate like Martha Stewart" type blogs. Oh, they don't come out and SAY it... but it just oozes creativity and harmony from their blogs. So unfair to be so totally talented. I still can't get my house together and I'm not homeschooling anymore! :glare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Personally, I try to be really careful about what I share about my children, because I don't want them to feel embarrassed in the future. I share "cute" stories, but nothing too personal, and I try never to share stories that show my children, (or myself, for that matter), at their worst. I know that some people like to keep it real, and some like to share only the perfect moments...I'd rather be somewhere in between. Light moments that our family has shared, some things that make us seem a little silly, but not completely foolish, and some things that show us at our best, but certainly not perfect! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rieshy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Yes, I actually get more discouraged by the "my family is perfect, I'm a the greatest mom, an excellent cook, spend 5 hours a day praying and reading my Bible, AND I home decorate like Martha Stewart" type blogs. Oh, they don't come out and SAY it... but it just oozes creativity and harmony from their blogs. So unfair to be so totally talented. I still can't get my house together and I'm not homeschooling anymore! :glare: I read this and went straight to your blog.:lol: But then I tend to like blogs that feel real. It does get trickier to blog as your kids age. I'll tell you what else makes blogging tricky- when you suddenly realize that a bunch of your neighbors and people from your church are regularly following your blog. But I think it's "tricky" in a good way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I share "cute" stories occasionally, and sometimes frustrating ones or struggles that we're having. I don't use the kids' real names so it's not so easily searchable when they're older - and I never feel like I'm talking down about them. I had a post about how we were all laughing about how one of my sons won't listen. It's frustrating. He's kind of driving us all nuts. But I was laughing at me being frustrated too... I guess I don't put anything on there I wouldn't say to the kids' faces. They're young, but they know when I'm frustrated or when there's an issue or if they're a bit behind in math or something. I've never seen a blog where the parents were all out tearing into their kids like the OP describes. I've seen ones where they're frustrated or maybe even say things about how they're ready to tear their hair out and stuff in that vein. But I don't take it so seriously. No kid is perfect. I wonder if the OP is reading these with a different eye, maybe not getting the lightheartedness, or the frustration or the real target of the posts. I feel like, for example, if a parent is talking about how their kid is way behind academically, it could be because the child has a learning disability and the parent is frustrated with dealing with it, or because the child used to be in a school where they didn't address the child's needs, or they may be talking about it because they feel like they've failed their kid. It doesn't necessarily mean "my kid is a dummy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I read this and went straight to your blog.:lol: But then I tend to like blogs that feel real. It does get trickier to blog as your kids age. I'll tell you what else makes blogging tricky- when you suddenly realize that a bunch of your neighbors and people from your church are regularly following your blog. But I think it's "tricky" in a good way. Amen sister! I purposely didn't share my blog with many IRL friends. Not that I wanted to rat on them or anything, it just felt too weird. I have been pondering the OP. I wonder if the blogs you visited were done by people with special needs kids. I have a friend who blogs and she has an adopted adult dd with FAS. To say it is a trial would be an understatement. Does she dump about her dd? If you didn't know what was going on you might get that impression. But really, she's venting and just trying to make it through with her sanity intact. she has two younger kids too who she often shares their adorable antics and sayings. So she does mix it up, but she's keeping it real - it's just that her reality is sometimes very stressful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Yes, I actually get more discouraged by the "my family is perfect, I'm a the greatest mom, an excellent cook, spend 5 hours a day praying and reading my Bible, AND I home decorate like Martha Stewart" type blogs. Oh, they don't come out and SAY it... but it just oozes creativity and harmony from their blogs. So unfair to be so totally talented. I still can't get my house together and I'm not homeschooling anymore! :glare: Yikes! Well, I don't do that... I just like to post pictures of them... :leaving: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I have an acquaintance who says horrible things about her children on Facebook...and I know they are reading it. :confused: I have a friend like that too. I am astonished at what she posts, knowing that her kids are reading everything, not to mention everyone else on Facebook. Her older daughter is doing a lot of things that are contrary to the way she was brought up, and the mom continually posts way too many details on Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Now I have this great desire to go clicking around on blogs.... Me too:D I did write one post on the difficulty of being the mom of adult kids.....but, I think I meant every word.:D...gotta go re-read .... :auto: Faithe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 :lol: That's silly. Well I don't have a blog. I'm pretty sure I'm not a troll. I don't have one either. I've been here a long, long time, though, so maybe people already know I'm not a troll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Yikes! Well, I don't do that... I just like to post pictures of them... :leaving: I like your blog... that's not the kind I'm talking about. I mean the Ann Volkamp's of this world. (okay, now that might just get me into trouble.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeBeaks Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 In some ways I would rather see honestly instead of roses all day long every day. I think most of us have good and bad, and both can be presented in a realistic way without ragging on your kids or making yourself seem like you are 100% perfect, your kids are angels and it is all due to how special you are. Yeah, that gets tiresome, and believe me I have tons of relatives who do the "I"m a perfect mommy. Look at how great my kids are because I'm perfect" thing on FB and blogs. Bolding mine and that is what tends get me rolling my eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I like your blog... that's not the kind I'm talking about. I mean the Ann Volkamp's of this world. (okay, now that might just get me into trouble.) :lol: Yeah, I like her and all (though I know many people don't), but she's always...yeah. I gotcha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Me too:D I did write one post on the difficulty of being the mom of adult kids.....but, I think I meant every word.:D...gotta go re-read .... :auto: Faithe I'll have to go find that one. I was just thinking of posting something here along those lines here at WTM. It was so much easier to be a mom to littles. I had way more confidence back then. okay - that's WAY off topic. sorry guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I'll have to go find that one. I was just thinking of posting something here along those lines here at WTM. It was so much easier to be a mom to littles. I had way more confidence back then. okay - that's WAY off topic. sorry guys. Nope, you're totally right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Well I admitted publically to laying face down on my lawn crying my head off (included the part about drinking a beer) and having the fire department come so.... If that doesn't make me real/honest (or real nuts) well then I don't know what will. I'm just too lazy (and uninterested) for a blog. Oh yeah, well I admitted my kid shot the neighbor's dog with bbs...and I wasn't even sorry about it. So there. :tongue_smilie: I am probably real, honest and nuts as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I don't blog about my kids unless they've approved the message. ;) There are times when I've blogged about an especially trying day but by the end of reading the post, the kids were laughing. Griping and whining. Not cool. Humiliating your kids on the internet. Really not cool. Laughing about the trials of parenting and growing up. The BEST. :lol: But again, everyone in our house has a say in what gets posted on the blog. Hmm, which reminds me of the blog post I wrote yesterday about my husband leaving his soda in the freezer for too long. :glare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msjones Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 OP here. I realize I've put myself in a situation where I can't really back up my statements, because I'm certainly not going to link y'all to the blogs that bothered me. Hmmm... I'll have to think twice before I start a thread next time. One of the blogs I saw recently had a very negative, crabby, dismayed description of her son. I just cringed thinking that he would read that some day. I don't think it was intended to be lighthearted at all. Even if it were, I'd say bloggers still ought to be very careful about using their kids' challenges as opportunities to get a laugh, or even a lot of public sympathy. Kids are growing, learning, messing up. They need their parents' protection from humiliation when they screw up. I like Daisy's idea about the whole family needing to approve any blog posts. That sounds just right. I certainly realize and appreciate that there is a need to laugh and share and cry about parenting. But, to publicly discuss your kids' struggles crosses a line for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 :lol: That's silly. Well I don't have a blog. I'm pretty sure I'm not a troll. I don't have a blog, and I don't think I'm a troll. But maybe I am, I'm just disguised so well I have fooled myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I like your blog... that's not the kind I'm talking about. I mean the Ann Volkamp's of this world. (okay, now that might just get me into trouble.) I enjoy reading Ann's blog I find it uplifting, but I don't blog like that. I'm not a poetic person.;) I try to keep it real to a certain extent but I'm not about to rag on my kids or talk about private matters. That reminds me I need to blog this weekend it has been too long since my last weekly wrap up. I hope I don't come across as perfect or anything because I'm far from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I don't have a blog, and I don't think I'm a troll. But maybe I am, I'm just disguised so well I have fooled myself. :lol::lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I've come across negative blogs detailing descriptions of the poor behaviors of special needs kids. Maybe the moms just need to vent. Overall, I see more blogs that make the world seem perfect and beautiful. Regarding "required" blogs, I agree with Angela. No, you're considered a troll if you act like one, blog or no blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenniferlee Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I don't have a blog. I don't have a signature line or a little picture beside my name. I don't have that many posts even thought I've been around for years. No one has ever accused me of being a troll and all my questions have been answered very politely and thoughtfully. I do think twice about posting info about my kids. I don't want them reading it someday and feeling bad. Jen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 This is just not even a little bit true. I don't have a blog, and most likely never will as I'm just not interested. What are you even talking about? In the past in threads related to trolls being sniffed out, it was mentioned that some users when they think they smell a troll will look to see if the possible troll has a blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 wow, I haven't seen any homeschool blogs that do this. I don't air our dirty laundry, and I do not use my kids' real names. So yes, I agree kids are entitled to some privacy and to not have an internet identity already established for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 It might not literally be required, but to pass the sniff test, its been strongly written that you MUST have a blog......or your considered a troll. Really? I never knew that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Really? I never knew that. It isn't true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Thanks OP for writing this. I have been reluctant to post my blog because I am on the same page as you. I am torn, as I understand a blog is required on this site. Blogs are definitely not required here! If they were, I wouldn't be here. Have never blogged and likely will never blog. If someone were to question my status as a homeschool mom because of that - oh well. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-M- Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Actually, my kids have been reading along since I began blogging nine years ago this coming October. More, I have them review any photos I plan to post of them. I share your concern that parents who dabble in the "My kids suck!" sub- genre of mommy blogging (and I've not seen much of that here on the WTM boards) are doing their children, themselves, and their families a disservice. On the other hand, to address some of the responses you've received, I've never thought that failure to expose every bad moment represented a lack of transparency, either. Perhaps it is the strain of northeastern reticence that runs through me: I've always thought it best to confine my blogging (and posting, for that matter) to the sorts of topics that I'd have no trouble discussing if I were to meet with my readers, strangers and friends alike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I prefer the term "jotuns." I have no blog. I haven't seen the naughty blogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) But, to publicly discuss your kids' struggles crosses a line for me. Can I have a show of hands from everyone who read this and thought, "Uh-oh. I hope this isn't me," then rushed off to reread all your recent blog posts?:D :leaving: ETA: I've always thought it best to confine my blogging (and posting, for that matter) to the sorts of topics that I'd have no trouble discussing if I were to meet with my readers, strangers and friends alike. I totally agree with this! Edited February 17, 2012 by Element Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I keep my blog simple. I was raised not to air my dirty laundry in public. I don't put anything up there that I would not discuss with anyone. Now that ds is a teen and dd is getting there I do get their photo approval. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 OP here. I realize I've put myself in a situation where I can't really back up my statements, because I'm certainly not going to link y'all to the blogs that bothered me. Hmmm... I'll have to think twice before I start a thread next time. One of the blogs I saw recently had a very negative, crabby, dismayed description of her son. I just cringed thinking that he would read that some day. I don't think it was intended to be lighthearted at all. Even if it were, I'd say bloggers still ought to be very careful about using their kids' challenges as opportunities to get a laugh, or even a lot of public sympathy. Kids are growing, learning, messing up. They need their parents' protection from humiliation when they screw up. I like Daisy's idea about the whole family needing to approve any blog posts. That sounds just right. I certainly realize and appreciate that there is a need to laugh and share and cry about parenting. But, to publicly discuss your kids' struggles crosses a line for me. This is a very good point. I believe you that there was one or two (or three??) blogs from people here who took on a negative tone about their kids... I just personally haven't seen it. It's probably good that you pointed it out. Sometimes we all need a little wake-up call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Can I have a show of hands from everyone who read this and thought, "Uh-oh. I hope this isn't me," then rushed off to reread all your recent blog posts?:D :leaving: me too! :tongue_smilie: Although, I was sure I hadn't written anything like that - I went back a few weeks too. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) me too! Although, I was sure I hadn't written anything like that - I went back a few weeks too. I don't think I have either but it didn't stop me from checking! ;) Edited February 17, 2012 by Element Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Really? I didn't know a blog was required for being a member of WTM. :confused: Why would that be? A blog is NOT required . During a kerfuffle a while back, one poster said something about blogs being a way to demonstrate that you're for real. It was misunderstood and blown way out of context. Other ways to demonstrate you're not a troll besides being around for a while: Don't start contentious threads Don't post contentious things Don't resurrect old threads that were contentious Use discretion when posting about your life. Sometimes drama is real and sometimes it's trumped up on the internet. No one knows just by reading it, unless they've come to "know" you as a poster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ciyates Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I like your blog... that's not the kind I'm talking about. I mean the Ann Volkamp's of this world. (okay, now that might just get me into trouble.) I don't read anyones blog (even my friends who I am supposed to be reading :D), I don't blog because well I am pretty boring. FWIW I am googling Ann Volkamp :tongue_smilie: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I'm sure I've mentioned before on another group someone was revealed to be a troll. She went around ranting about something. Anyhow she had an equally bizarre blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 FWIW I am googling Ann Volkamp :tongue_smilie: FYI it is Ann Voskamp, and she is an author and writes very poetically. Some people love her style others do not. I don't think she is all roses either. http://www.aholyexperience.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I sometimes click on signature links to the blogs of fellow WTMers. I really enjoy some of them. But some blogs are mostly about how badly their kids behave, how they are immature, disrespectful, obnoxious, way behind in school, and difficult to live with.:001_huh: I click on Blog links all the time and I've never come across this. I always find the opposite - perfect kids doing outstanding things that make me feel inferior :glare: I agree with you though - I would never post rotten things about my kids on the internet for them to read later -just why would you? I sometimes post funny/rotten things they do though -like the time DD and DS decided to play hairdresser and cut off all my baby's curls :glare: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felicity Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I post kind of randomly here, but I just went back and checked my hs blog. There is a post up that could be construed as "mean" about my ds11, but I think I'm pretty up-front about saying that I shouldn't have taken the bait. I checked with my 11yo just now and he's okay with it, but that's partly because he thinks it's hilarious that I would put anything about him on the blog. I am pretty careful and try to think whether or not my children would want to read what I post about them and for the most part have no qualms. It's never meant in the "I hate my kids, I wish they were all in school" way and they know that. We have our challenging days and our days when everything is sunshine and roses and I wouldn't change it either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I sometimes click on signature links to the blogs of fellow WTMers. I really enjoy some of them. But some blogs are mostly about how badly their kids behave, how they are immature, disrespectful, obnoxious, way behind in school, and difficult to live with. :001_huh: The blogs often include many photographs of these children. These appear to be public blogs. Won't your kids read these some day? (Or today?) Are your relatives, neighbors and friends reading these? I'm sure I'll be flamed by some of you, but I don't mind. I just want to say that folks should think twice before they air their children's dirty laundry on the internet. Anything you say ever anywhere, especially in print, can and will be used against you. Just don't do it. It's really stupid and it WILL backfire on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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