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I'm probably freaking out over nothing but..


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I dropped dd14 off at gymnastics at 12 she texted me at 3 asking if she could go to over a friends to do homework and if I could pick her up at 6 and take her to dance.

 

When I got to her friends house no one was home, except her friends 18yo brother he said they we're there around 3:15 but then left again.

 

No idea where they went. Her phone is going straight to voice mail. I've also called her friend and friends parents and no answer from either. Dh is calling all her friends parents and see if shes been over anyone else's house or if they know where she is.

 

Someone tell me to stop freaking out. :scared:

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I dropped dd14 off at gymnastics at 12 she texted me at 3 asking if she could go to over a friends to do homework and if I could pick her up at 6 and take her to dance.

 

When I got to her friends house no one was home, except her friends 18yo brother he said they we're there around 3:15 but then left again.

 

No idea where they went. Her phone is going straight to voice mail. I've also called her friend and friends parents and no answer from either. Dh is calling all her friends parents and see if shes been over anyone else's house or if they know where she is.

 

Someone tell me to stop freaking out. :scared:

 

Well, the positive thing here is that she wasn't alone; she went out with a friend and her brother knew they left the friend's house together. (I'm not saying you shouldn't be very angry with her for worrying you like this, but I'm just trying to encourage you that she is probably fine.)

 

Did she show up at dance? Have you called the friend's cell phone number (and her mom) to see if you can find out what's going on and where they are?

 

If you are really concerned, I do think a phone call to the friend's mom would be a good place to start.

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Sorry I couldn't update sooner. We didn't get home until 9:15 and needed to have a talk with her. Dd showed up at dance, they decided to go to a different friend's house that dd is not allowed over. Not exactly sure how we're punishing her because tomorrows her birthday and this weekend she's having a birthday party. :001_unsure:

 

ETA: I am getting that app! Thanks!

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Sorry I couldn't update sooner. We didn't get home until 9:15 and needed to have a talk with her. Dd showed up at dance, they decided to go to a different friend's house that dd is not allowed over. Not exactly sure how we're punishing her because tomorrows her birthday and this weekend she's having a birthday party. :001_unsure:

 

ETA: I am getting that app! Thanks!

 

Let the party happen but then pile on the hard and gross chores for a couple of weeks. For my kids that would be piling wood, cleaning toilets, scooping dog poop, etc. :D

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Whew! I'm so glad to hear she's alright.

 

I don't envy your punishment decision :grouphug:.

 

ETA: I do think that part of my punishment for such behavior would involve taking the cellphone away. If she's not going to use it in the way it is intended to be used, being in contact, than it goes. I'd be happy to be her ball & chain for a few weeks, so she wouldn't even need to use it.

Edited by sparrow
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Dd showed up at dance, they decided to go to a different friend's house that dd is not allowed over.

 

My dd17 has pulled cr@p like that. She gets a nice big dose of "can't leave the house without mom or dad" for it. The whole "if we can't trust you to make responsible decisions and abide by our rules when you're out of the house, then we will ensure you don't have the opportunity to make dumb decisions when you're out of the house" thing.

 

Tara

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My dd17 has pulled cr@p like that. She gets a nice big dose of "can't leave the house without mom or dad" for it. The whole "if we can't trust you to make responsible decisions and abide by our rules when you're out of the house, then we will ensure you don't have the opportunity to make dumb decisions when you're out of the house" thing.

 

Tara

:iagree:As in, "Gosh, I'm so sorry you can't go with your friends, but since we are responsible for you and need to know where you are, and we can't rely on you to let us know, we will just need to keep you with us for now."

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:iagree:As in, "Gosh, I'm so sorry you can't go with your friends, but since we are responsible for you and need to know where you are, and we can't rely on you to let us know, we will just need to keep you with us for now."

 

Yup, nearly verbatim.

 

Along with, on the most recent occasion, "Wow, you know, when you turn 18 you are free to get in trouble with the law on your own dime, but as long as we still have to pay for your lawyer, we'll make sure you don't have the opportunity to put us in that position." :D

 

Tara

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Sorry I couldn't update sooner. We didn't get home until 9:15 and needed to have a talk with her. Dd showed up at dance, they decided to go to a different friend's house that dd is not allowed over. Not exactly sure how we're punishing her because tomorrows her birthday and this weekend she's having a birthday party. :001_unsure:

 

 

If this is a "first time offense" and she's usually a good kid, I would let her go with a severe warning this time -- mainly because it's her birthday and I wouldn't want to ruin the whole weekend for her. If she's nasty or defensive about what she did, I think it's very reasonable for her to be grounded for a while, starting on Monday.

 

If she has done similar things on many other occasions and has shown no remorse, that's an entirely different situation, but if this is the only time she has disappeared like this and gone someplace she shouldn't have gone, I would trust her to get it right in the future.

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I am so glad she was safe. I am so glad I am not in your postition. To I have to say that if it was my kid, after I was done killing them for making me worry that way I would institute house arrest for a very long time. Like other posters said, if she can't be trusted to be out without you she simply can't be.

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