WWYD or I'm a shmuck!

[zookeeper]

I've been married to a pretty great guy for almost 20 years. Sometimes I don't think he knows me very well. For Christmas this year, he bought a heart shaped pendant necklace for me. He's been saving from his spending money for quite a while. He KNOWS I don't wear jewelry. I wear a small pair of diamond stud earrings that only come out of my ears to be cleaned, my wedding ring and a cross pendant necklace - sometimes. I don't wear the necklace when when we have a toddler because I don't want the chain broken.

 

Anyway, the kids have been excited about mom getting this present for a while because they knew about it. I opened it on Christmas morning and TRIED to fake being happy about it, but I guess I did a poor job. He came to me later and said "you don't like it, do you?" What was I supposed to say? I'm just not a jewelry person and I would have thought he would have known that.

 

We're trying to save for a trip to Hawaii for our anniversary in a few months. Why didn't he just put the money toward that? I feel just terrible about the whole thing. :( I feel like I ruined his Christmas. I'm such a schmuck!

[AK_Mom4]

You're a schmuck.

 

You "DO" wear jewelry - earrings and an occasional necklace. And he tried to find you something pretty - lots of points for that.

 

Time to grovel. Snuggle up to him, mention that the necklace will be just perfect for wearing when you dress up, and be nice. Then go ahead and wear that necklace the next time you dress up.

 

ETA: he probably thought it would look pretty on you and wanted to buy you something as beautiful as you are because he loves you. Embrace the thought!

Edited December 26, 2011 by AK_Mom4

[LibraryLover]

I have only have a small bit of nice jewlery. I am not a big jewlery person. I do like to wear bangles for my wrists for some reason. lol The few peices (from my dh, my goldmother, my father etc) I enjoy for special occaisions , and wear hoping that someday I will hand them down to my daughters or grandchildren. I wear an earring that belonged to my great-grandmother that never comes out of my ear (I had a third hole done for it. You can't really see it because my hair is long., but I know it's there.) It's a tiny solid good drop that is from 'the old country'. It's over 100 years old. It's survived in our family all this time. My gg was not a wealthy woman, but someone how she had these earrings. There were 3...one was lossed along the way. My mother gave each gold drop to her 3 daughters. I treasure it.

 

In the same heirloom vein, and something that is not worth very much, is my great-grandmother and grandmother's Depression glasswear. It's so lovely, even though I know they were given away free sometimes at theaters in the 30's. I have such beautiful platters and a few bowls. I get warm and fuzzy whenever I use them. I touch my gold drop earing several times a day. These things are physical connections to my past.

 

That pendant will one day matter very much to your children.

Edited December 26, 2011 by LibraryLover

[ma23peas]

Oooh! I agree with both the previous posters!!

 

it's not the physical gift of a necklace, it's the thoughtfulness behind it and you were being self-centered and downright grinchy....go apologize and make bees knees about how special this is to you b/c he took the time to save and pick it out..nothing could be finer!

[Moxie]

Pretty much the same thing happened here. I'm going to wear the jewelry and remember how much the giver loves me and not think about the cost. HTH!

[zookeeper]

I know I'm a shmuck, but the fact is, he knows how I feel about it. I can't take that back now. I tried to fake it, but I guess PMS and family holiday stress didn't make that very successful. Now he's upset with himself for even getting it because we've had conversations about jewelry before. His mother gives me jewelry all the time and I've never worn any of it. I usually give it to my dds.

 

:crying:

[LibraryLover]

Then I would try to make it better. Apologize. Tell him you were worried about cost, but that you know how much the children loved you getting it, and you love him for thinking of you. That it makes you happy to think of all of you planning it. Let him know it is something you treasure because he chose it and it's something your daughters will care very much about when you're gone. (And nobody lives forever.)

 

You made a mistake. You can now do damage control in a loving way.

[Moxie]

Then I would try to make it better. Apologize. Tell him you were worried about cost, but that you know how much the children loved you getting it, and you love him for thinking of you. That it makes you happy to think of all of you planning it. Let him know it is something you treasure because he chose it and it's something your daughters will care very much about when you're gone. (And nobody lives forever.)

 

You made a mistake. You can now do damage control in a loving way.

 

:iagree: And then wear it everyday!

[ChristyB in TN]

Can you return the necklace? I am not a jewelry person either and I have a real problem with diamonds so I don't wear them. I have never even had an engagement ring! My husband of almost 22 years knows this and a couple of years ago on our anniversary bought me a big, ugly diamond ring. I am morally opposed to diamonds and would never want to spend that much money on jewelry if I did like diamonds! What ever go into his head, I will never know! I did understand that he probably gave it about a second of thought and trotted over to the jewelry store because someone he was around that day told him I would love it. :confused: I grabbed him the following day to have lunch and we went straight to the jewelry store where I traded it in on SEVERAL silver rings and ear rings and such. One ring has some sort of blue stone and I LOVE it. Who knew? He was happy, I was happy, we were very honest about it and all is well. RETURN it. You are not a schmuck. We all work hard for our money and there is no reason to have a necklace you don't love to spare his feelings.

[Unicorn.]

Why should she wear something she doesn't like or want? Honestly, she is not the schmuck, her dh is. The have been married 20 yrs. He KNOWS she isn't a jewelry person, and yet he gets her something he knows she won't want or appreciate. OP, don't feel bad about letting your dh know you don't appreciate it. Tell him thank you, but it's ok to let him know you would rather the money go to the Hawaii trip. After 20 years of marriage, you should be able to be honest w/ each other.

[Denisemomof4]

Then I would try to make it better. Apologize. Tell him you were worried about cost, but that you know how much the children loved you getting it, and you love him for thinking of you. That it makes you happy to think of all of you planning it. Let him know it is something you treasure because he chose it and it's something your daughters will care very much about when you're gone. (And nobody lives forever.)

 

You made a mistake. You can now do damage control in a loving way.

 

:iagree: And then wear it everyday!

 

:iagree:

 

While I can understand you don't like jewelry, this meant a lot to dh and your kids. I'd say get a sturdy chain and wear it a lot for them.;)

[zookeeper]

I guess I didn't mention that he wants to return it. :crying:

[zookeeper]

Why should she wear something she doesn't like or want? Honestly, she is not the schmuck, her dh is. The have been married 20 yrs. He KNOWS she isn't a jewelry person, and yet he gets her something he knows she won't want or appreciate. OP, don't feel bad about letting your dh know you don't appreciate it. Tell him thank you, but it's ok to let him know you would rather the money go to the Hawaii trip. After 20 years of marriage, you should be able to be honest w/ each other.

 

Thank you! He keeps telling me he's ok with returning it and doesn't know what he was thinking when he bought it. I guess I just need to give myself permission to be ok with it all.

[LibraryLover]

I guess I didn't mention that he wants to return it. :crying:

 

You can't force yourself to like something you hate. Are the kids ok with returning it?

[Starr]

An older woman friend of mine told me how surprised she is at younger (under 70 ;) ) woman not complimenting and being thankful for what their husbands buy them. She's really made me think about a few things in my own life. I would say I had a stressful Christmas, buy whatever length chain you want and wear it with your jeans. :) The right length will fall under your shirt half of the time anyway. They love you!

[OLG]

My dh is notorious for buying what 'he' wants.....we simply do not have the same taste in things so, over the years, we have accepted this and returns are usually in the picture. Being forced to wear something that you truly do not like seems duplicitous to me. If he is okay with returning it, then do so without guilt.

[coffeegal]

If he is okay with returning it, then do so without guilt.

 

:iagree: I asked dh for his perspective. He shrugged, "He tried, it was a wash, so deal with it." Dh didn't think it was a big deal. My thought is to perhaps find a babysitter for the kids for the two of you to go out, return the gift, and make a date of the situation. :001_smile:

[*********]

:iagree: I asked dh for his perspective. He shrugged, "He tried, it was a wash, so deal with it." Dh didn't think it was a big deal. My thought is to perhaps find a babysitter for the kids for the two of you to go out, return the gift, and make a date of the situation. :001_smile:

 

Now THERE'S a great idea. You make the plans; it'll help ease your guilt. :D Pick an evening you know he's free, set up sitting for the kids, and make a date night of it. Return the necklace. Maybe there's something else at the store that'll strike your fancy, or maybe not. Maybe you two have a restaurant that's special to you, and you could go there for dinner after stopping at the store. That might help ease the feelings for both of you. :001_smile:

[Stellalarella]

Thank you! He keeps telling me he's ok with returning it and doesn't know what he was thinking when he bought it. I guess I just need to give myself permission to be ok with it all.

 

My husband gave me a diamond ring that I thought was really ugly for our engagement. He said that we could take it back, but I didn't because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I remember the deep sobs when I realized that this really great guy had not listened to me and had no clue about the kind of things I like. I really have always been upset the ring and I have never grown to like it or appreciate it. But hey, it's only been 15 years.....

 

SOmetimes the people we love make a mistake. And I don't know about you, but when I make a mistake, I would much rather have someone tell me about it and I can change, if possible.

 

It sounds like your husband is a great guy who at his core wants to please you. Please have him take you to the store to take the necklace back.

[zookeeper]

Now THERE'S a great idea. You make the plans; it'll help ease your guilt. :D Pick an evening you know he's free, set up sitting for the kids, and make a date night of it. Return the necklace. Maybe there's something else at the store that'll strike your fancy, or maybe not. Maybe you two have a restaurant that's special to you, and you could go there for dinner after stopping at the store. That might help ease the feelings for both of you. :001_smile:

 

We're going this afternoon. Dh usually has the week between Christmas and New Year off so we've got plenty of time. We've got older kids so no need to even hire a babysitter.

 

Thank you guys for the perspective (and the guy perspective in there too!)

[Robin M]

My dh rarely goes shopping so it's a big deal for him to pick out a gift. I appreciate whatever he gives me, no matter what it is, because it's the thought and effort that went in it. His father didn't celebrate birthdays and anniversaries so I had to train mine about the importance and meaning of gifts. I just make sure to give my hubby a list and a money limit so he doesn't go overboard, because he does have a tendency to do that. When we first got married, I got lots of jewelry because in his mind it was a given females liked jewelry. Frankly I'd rather have books which is now what he gives me - very happily I might add.

 

He was probably thinking since you have been married twenty years, he wanted to do some a bit more special than normal. Now that I've made you feel guilty,:grouphug: since your hubby has no problem returning it, the two of you should go together, make a date night out of it like someone else suggested.

 

 

***posted at the same time as you did. Have fun!!!!!

[3littlekeets]

I've been married to a pretty great guy for almost 20 years. Sometimes I don't think he knows me very well. For Christmas this year, he bought a heart shaped pendant necklace for me. He's been saving from his spending money for quite a while. !

 

I have to say, if I were your husband, I'd be reluctant to ever try again. He bought from his heart. He saved. The kids were excited. We always say "it is the thought that counts," and he was THINKING! Just because you don't have a lot of jewelry or wear a lot doesn't mean he shouldn't have expected you to love something he bought with love -- a HEART! So, you should feel a bit disappointed in yourself. You shouldn't have to hide disappointment, but how sad that you felt any and missed the meaning of Christmas.

[unsinkable]

I have to say, if I were your husband, I'd be reluctant to ever try again. He bought from his heart. He saved. The kids were excited. We always say "it is the thought that counts," and he was THINKING! Just because you don't have a lot of jewelry or wear a lot doesn't mean he shouldn't have expected you to love something he bought with love -- a HEART! So, you should feel a bit disappointed in yourself. You shouldn't have to hide disappointment, but how sad that you felt any and missed the meaning of Christmas.

 

Her husband was the one who wasn't thinking, not her.

 

What if her dh rarely wore suits and she saved and had the kids help her pick it out, etc? What would be the point? :confused:

 

It's pretty harsh to tell her she missed the meaning of Christmas bc she was disappointed over a totally inappropriate present.

[ChristyB in TN]

Her husband was the one who wasn't thinking, not her.

 

What if her dh rarely wore suits and she saved and had the kids help her pick it out, etc? What would be the point? :confused:

 

It's pretty harsh to tell her she missed the meaning of Christmas bc she was disappointed over a totally inappropriate present.

 

I thought so, too. :iagree:

[MrsMe]

Perhaps this is a clue from him to see you in different jewelry for the next 20 years. ;)

Edited December 26, 2011 by alilac

[Parrothead]

I wear jewerly and like it most of the time. But there was that period that for every birthday, giving holiday and Christmas I got a heart pendant. Big heart, little heart, silver heart, gold heart, ugly heart. if it was heart shaped I got one.

 

I finally had to tell them enough. I know they (dh and dd) love me, but have they ever seen me wear any of them? The only heart shaped pendant I wanted or liked was the very first one dh gave me for our first Valentines day together.

 

So I say a dh should use a bit of imagination, and really think about the recipient before going out and buying heart shaped anything. Or really just thinking about what the dw would like as opposed to what he likes.

[zookeeper]

I have to say, if I were your husband, I'd be reluctant to ever try again. He bought from his heart. He saved. The kids were excited. We always say "it is the thought that counts," and he was THINKING! Just because you don't have a lot of jewelry or wear a lot doesn't mean he shouldn't have expected you to love something he bought with love -- a HEART! So, you should feel a bit disappointed in yourself. You shouldn't have to hide disappointment, but how sad that you felt any and missed the meaning of Christmas.

 

 

If it had been something small, I'd have hidden any disappointment, but I really hated to see him spend so much money on something that would have sat in my drawer. I really hesitated in saying anything at all to him, but if it were me and I'd spent that much money, I'd rather someone speak up about it.

[WishboneDawn]

I've been married to a pretty great guy for almost 20 years. Sometimes I don't think he knows me very well. For Christmas this year, he bought a heart shaped pendant necklace for me. He's been saving from his spending money for quite a while. He KNOWS I don't wear jewelry. I wear a small pair of diamond stud earrings that only come out of my ears to be cleaned, my wedding ring and a cross pendant necklace - sometimes. I don't wear the necklace when when we have a toddler because I don't want the chain broken.

 

Anyway, the kids have been excited about mom getting this present for a while because they knew about it. I opened it on Christmas morning and TRIED to fake being happy about it, but I guess I did a poor job. He came to me later and said "you don't like it, do you?" What was I supposed to say? I'm just not a jewelry person and I would have thought he would have known that.

 

We're trying to save for a trip to Hawaii for our anniversary in a few months. Why didn't he just put the money toward that? I feel just terrible about the whole thing. :( I feel like I ruined his Christmas. I'm such a schmuck!

 

Let it grow on you. Wear it often, think about him and how he must have felt buying it for you. Invest some emotion in it and you'll grow to love it. When you do, let him know how much you appreciate it.

 

My husband gave m a pair of diamond earrings a couple of years ago that had me feeling much as you do. Now I love them and wearing them reminds me of how much he loves and cares for me.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I know I'm a shmuck, but the fact is, he knows how I feel about it. I can't take that back now. I tried to fake it, but I guess PMS and family holiday stress didn't make that very successful. Now he's upset with himself for even getting it because we've had conversations about jewelry before. His mother gives me jewelry all the time and I've never worn any of it. I usually give it to my dds.

 

:crying:

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I don't think you're a schmuck, and I don't think your dh is a schmuck. For whatever reason, he thought it would be something you'd love. He got your kids excited about it, but if he'd bought you a kleenex dispenser, he could have passed on his enthusiasm about that; they'd be excited no matter what!

 

I understand you both are in a no-win situation. If you keep it, you won't like it. Even if you wear it, you'll be unhappy deep down. (I can't imagine wearing $$$ jewelry to make someone else happy, knowing how much more miserable it would make me feel.) It's a reminder of the whole thing that you'd like to forget. It makes it especially hard that your dh saved money that you would have chosen to spend 200 or more other ways.

 

At this point, I think it's best to return it. As much as your husband would like for you to enjoy it, it's not a gift you will find any joy in. My husband would love for me to wear the nicer jewelry he's gotten me in the past, and he cringes at my preferred $2 Claire's clearance earrings. He will sometimes ask why I don't wear the pearls he got me ten years ago. Or the diamond tennis bracelet. (Believe me, we had more money to spend back then.) They're not me, they never will be, and I don't want them to be.

 

It's just hard. I don't know what to tell your kids. Daddy thought Mommy would like jewelry. Mommy's very happy with the jewelry she already has, and she and Daddy decided that we can take back Mommy's gift and use that money for our vacation. We'll ALL be able to enjoy this gift!!

 

I'm sorry. I really do feel for you.

[Bassoonaroo]

There are enough posts here about who the schmuck is and what to do with the necklace. I won't go there (probably because I just don't know what to say anyway).

 

Over a decade ago, the "Titus 2 Lady" at MOPS was speaking to us young moms about the upcoming Christmas season. She mentioned how much she loved her husband and that he had wonderful qualities. He was handy at home, loving, patient, could cook, was handsome, etc.

 

One thing he couldn't do well was buy gifts. He'd forget to buy her something for her birthday, buy her something pricey that she didn't like, would buy her something she already had too many of, spend too much on something she could've bought for much less, etc. It was a short-coming. He just never was going to be a good surprise-gift-giver.

 

She finally bit the bullet and abandoned her dream of him being a naturally good gift giver without any coaching.

 

She began telling him, a good month or so before each birthday, anniversary, or Christmas, "For my birthday, I'd really like this certain cookbook. I saw it a Barnes and Noble and I have a coupon that is under a magnet on the frig." Or, "Don't you think it would be good to go to that steak restaurant for our anniversary instead of trading gifts this year?" Etc.

 

When I first heard that I thought (being the idealist myself), "Bah humbug, where's the fun in that?" But then, after a few dud gifts, I started doing the same. This year, I said, "I really don't want a Keurig. At least not yet." (I had seen him looking at ads). I also would say, "Boy, my wiper blades just are worn out." Stuff like that. So, for Christmas I got a nice little shirt, a Kohls card, some wiper blades, and no Keurig (so I am not standing in a return line or trying to incorporate it into my kitchen).

 

Dropping hints like that does take the romance and surprise out of many gift-giving occasions but it also has probably prevented a lot of duds. And it's relieved him of the pressure of guessing what I would like.

 

So, I won't suggest to OP what to do with the necklace. However, if this is a pattern in his gift-giving, she might want to accept that this is one thing he does not do well (and we're all allowed to be deficient in a few things) and she might want to consider before the next anniversary, birthday, whatever, dropping a few hints!

 

I'm sure that after 20 years, he loves her loads (as do her kids).

[zookeeper]

Thankfully, this isn't a habit. lol! He usually does pretty good with gifts (thanks in part to my oldest dd.) This jewelry thing just came out of nowhere! Other than our wedding rings, he's bought me jewelry twice in our marriage - the earrings and the cross necklace. I guess I just didn't expect it because we've talked in the past about how I just don't like to wear much as opposed to his mother who has a set for every outfit.

 

We returned it and are saving the money for our trip.

[StephanieZ]

I am glad it worked out for you! Sounds like a fun trip.

[black_midori]

So... the three things jewelry he's ever gotten for you are the ones you wear all the time??? Wedding ring, special earrings, special cross necklace? I can see why he'd have gone out on a limb and gotten you something, then!

 

Better to have returned it and saved money, though, than to be bitter every time you saw it and wish you didn't have to pretend to like it.

 

Have a great trip!

[kiana]

I like your solution.

 

FWIW, the only time I've ever gotten a completely inappropriate present was a month after we started dating, when I got perfume (I'm mildly allergic to perfume, it makes me cough like crazy.)

 

After that, everything else has been "What should I get you for Christmas?"

 

Occasionally it's a member of my family messaging and saying "You should totally get this for Kiana for Christmas, she'll love it."

 

I don't really understand, though, why some people are great gift-givers and some are not. My brother's much better than I am.

[zookeeper]

So... the three things jewelry he's ever gotten for you are the ones you wear all the time??? Wedding ring, special earrings, special cross necklace? I can see why he'd have gone out on a limb and gotten you something, then!

 

Better to have returned it and saved money, though, than to be bitter every time you saw it and wish you didn't have to pretend to like it.

 

Have a great trip!

 

Ironic, huh?? If it weren't for the numerous conversations we've had about how I don't care for much jewelry, it'd be understandable.

[Cindyg]

I've been married to a pretty great guy for almost 20 years. Sometimes I don't think he knows me very well. For Christmas this year, he bought a heart shaped pendant necklace for me. He's been saving from his spending money for quite a while. He KNOWS I don't wear jewelry. I wear a small pair of diamond stud earrings that only come out of my ears to be cleaned, my wedding ring and a cross pendant necklace - sometimes. I don't wear the necklace when when we have a toddler because I don't want the chain broken.

 

Anyway, the kids have been excited about mom getting this present for a while because they knew about it. I opened it on Christmas morning and TRIED to fake being happy about it, but I guess I did a poor job. He came to me later and said "you don't like it, do you?" What was I supposed to say? I'm just not a jewelry person and I would have thought he would have known that.

 

We're trying to save for a trip to Hawaii for our anniversary in a few months. Why didn't he just put the money toward that? I feel just terrible about the whole thing. :( I feel like I ruined his Christmas. I'm such a schmuck!

 

I just want to point out that your dh saved from his own pocket money. This was not money that was going to go towards the Hawaii trip. It's money he didn't spend on lunch.

 

Having said that, I'm not a jewelry person either or a lingerie person. I'd rather have the money in our emergency savings; but sometimes my dh likes to buy me lingerie and jewelry. So I understand. I totally understand. But sometimes a guy needs to buy his lady something feminine. You have to understand that too.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

know what you mean-I have to tell my dh every year NO JEWELRY or if I do want jewelry I make a point to show him exactly what piece LOL....I swear he has a horrible taste in jewelry....:grouphug:

[QuirkyKapers]

:grouphug: Aww- I would make it clear you appreciate that he went out of his way to save money. Were the kids part of the process of picking out the jewelry for you? If so, I would think about taking them along and maybe you could use the money saved for something else that would be special.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I know you've already resolved this, but had to express a little sympathy for both of you. For years, my husband gave me jewelry (which he got from his friend who buys dead old lady jewelry from house sales). I would wear the things maybe once or twice, to make him happy, but I'm not a jewelry person, either. And I didn't really want to be wearing some jewelry from an estate sale, either. It creeps me out.

 

Dh also sends me flowers frequently. Red roses. Which, I guess, are very nice. But I don't particularly care for red roses. I do make a big, thankful fuss when he sends me the roses, but I also try to slip in hints about maybe sometimes sending different color roses, or tulips (which are my favorite flowers), or even just a mixed flower arrangement. I don't ever come out and say I don't like the red roses, because I would really feel like an ungrateful schmuck. Also, he always has the florist send the roses in a vase. I have told him many, many times that if he's going to send me roses, just send them boxed because I have about 20 vases already. He never remembers. Occasionally, I box up the vases and take them back to the florist for recycling.

 

Over the years, though, my mom and sisters have interceded on my behalf, and I've started receiving gifts more suited for me. My mom told him to buy me a sewing machine one year, and he went out and bought the exact one she told him to buy, which was awesome. My sister has also told him various scrapbooking things to get for me which have been major plusses! So, I know my hubby wants to get me something I like, he just can't for the life of him figure out what that is on his own. :D

[mommytobees]

Why should she wear something she doesn't like or want? Honestly, she is not the schmuck, her dh is. The have been married 20 yrs. He KNOWS she isn't a jewelry person, and yet he gets her something he knows she won't want or appreciate. OP, don't feel bad about letting your dh know you don't appreciate it. Tell him thank you, but it's ok to let him know you would rather the money go to the Hawaii trip. After 20 years of marriage, you should be able to be honest w/ each other.

 

I agree!

 

You are NOT a schmuck. You are human.

 

You have likes and dislikes and should be respected for them. Give your dh a HUGE thank you and tell him how much the THOUGHT of the gift means to him. I mean, he saved HIS money to purchase it!! THAT should make you grateful.

 

You do NOT have to suddenly like and want to wear jewelry.

 

Kirs

[zookeeper]

I know you've already resolved this, but had to express a little sympathy for both of you. For years, my husband gave me jewelry (which he got from his friend who buys dead old lady jewelry from house sales). I would wear the things maybe once or twice, to make him happy, but I'm not a jewelry person, either. And I didn't really want to be wearing some jewelry from an estate sale, either. It creeps me out.

 

Dh also sends me flowers frequently. Red roses. Which, I guess, are very nice. But I don't particularly care for red roses. I do make a big, thankful fuss when he sends me the roses, but I also try to slip in hints about maybe sometimes sending different color roses, or tulips (which are my favorite flowers), or even just a mixed flower arrangement. I don't ever come out and say I don't like the red roses, because I would really feel like an ungrateful schmuck. Also, he always has the florist send the roses in a vase. I have told him many, many times that if he's going to send me roses, just send them boxed because I have about 20 vases already. He never remembers. Occasionally, I box up the vases and take them back to the florist for recycling.

 

Over the years, though, my mom and sisters have interceded on my behalf, and I've started receiving gifts more suited for me. My mom told him to buy me a sewing machine one year, and he went out and bought the exact one she told him to buy, which was awesome. My sister has also told him various scrapbooking things to get for me which have been major plusses! So, I know my hubby wants to get me something I like, he just can't for the life of him figure out what that is on his own. :D

 

This story reminded me of a funny story in our marriage. My dh will bring me chocolate when he knows I've had a bad day. (See, he really is a pretty good guy!) He always thinks "the bigger, the better" right? He would bring me the King Size Hershey bars. Now, I love the smaller ones, but the bigger ones taste different to me. I've tried for years to drop hints about preferring the smaller ones. I had dd tell him on various occasions that mom would probably like the little ones better. He just wasn't getting it and I didn't want to seem ungrateful.

 

One day, I'd had a very hard day and was deep in PMS. He brought me the usual big chocolate bar and I burst out crying, telling him "if you ever bring me another King Size bar, I'm going to divorce you." :lol: It worked! He always brings me the small ones now. lol!!!

[zookeeper]

:grouphug: Aww- I would make it clear you appreciate that he went out of his way to save money. Were the kids part of the process of picking out the jewelry for you? If so, I would think about taking them along and maybe you could use the money saved for something else that would be special.

 

Apparently the kids didn't help pick it out (I thought they had.) He had just shown it to them after he got it.

[unsinkable]

One day, I'd had a very hard day and was deep in PMS. He brought me the usual big chocolate bar and I burst out crying, telling him "if you ever bring me another King Size bar, I'm going to divorce you." :lol: It worked! He always brings me the small ones now. lol!!!

 

This reminds of when I was weepy-pregnant and my DH bought bone-in pork chops instead of boneless.*

 

I cried so hard and asked him if this was his way of telling me he didn't love me anymore. :lol:

 

*Because, as we all know, nothing says: "I really, really love you" like boneless porkchops.

[Nakia]

Awwww, I don't think you are a shmuck at all! I'm glad you two were able to work out a good solution. :grouphug:

[Dustybug]

You're a schmuck.

 

You "DO" wear jewelry - earrings and an occasional necklace. And he tried to find you something pretty - lots of points for that.

 

Time to grovel. Snuggle up to him, mention that the necklace will be just perfect for wearing when you dress up, and be nice. Then go ahead and wear that necklace the next time you dress up.

 

ETA: he probably thought it would look pretty on you and wanted to buy you something as beautiful as you are because he loves you. Embrace the thought!

 

 

:iagree:

 

This reminds of when I was weepy-pregnant and my DH bought bone-in pork chops instead of boneless.*

 

I cried so hard and asked him if this was his way of telling me he didn't love me anymore. :lol:

 

*Because, as we all know, nothing says: "I really, really love you" like boneless porkchops.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Trresh]

This reminds of when I was weepy-pregnant and my DH bought bone-in pork chops instead of boneless.*

 

I cried so hard and asked him if this was his way of telling me he didn't love me anymore. :lol:

 

*Because, as we all know, nothing says: "I really, really love you" like boneless porkchops.

 

LOL!! :laugh:

[ChristyB in TN]

This reminds of when I was weepy-pregnant and my DH bought bone-in pork chops instead of boneless.*

 

I cried so hard and asked him if this was his way of telling me he didn't love me anymore. :lol:

 

*Because, as we all know, nothing says: "I really, really love you" like boneless porkchops.

 

That's awesome. :lol:

[beccad777]

My DH rarely buys me anything because he knows how cheap I am. And it is almost never jewelry or flowers as he knows I prefer more practical gifts. That said, sometimes I would like to get a special piece of jewelry even though I don't wear much. This year for my birthday (which he usually doesn't give me anything) he bought me a $100 nativity set. It is pretty and he got it 50% off and so I know he tried. I really would have preferred to use that money for new clothes or pretty much anything else, but I acted like I LOVED it. Why? Because he went and shopped and picked it out and tried to surprise me. If he tries to surprise me it is almost NEVER anything I would have chosen and he ALWAYS pays too much for it. But, I choose to like these things or keep them because of the love and thought that went into them, and I know how his feelings would be hurt if I didn't act like I liked them.

 

That said, I am glad you found a good solution. I hope you have a fabulous trip! :001_smile: