Do I go in the room for my 11yo son's physical?

[sparrow]

We don't go to the doctor very often. My son hasn't had a full-on physical since he was itty-bitty. He's required to get one for Boy Scouts. Do I go in the room with him? Do I go in and leave? I'm just not sure what the standard protocol is.

 

 

 

 

*Update in post 43 that is getting completely buried, so I'm putting it here*

 

Oh my. OP here. I posted literally minutes before I had to leave for the appointment. I saw two responses before I left :001_smile:. I just wondered what was typical, so I didn't look like a moron when I showed up.

 

I asked quickly because my husband was planning on taking him, but something came up at work and he had to go in. After I posted my question, I talked with my husband and son. Together, we decided I'd go in and step outside the door for that part of the exam. My son has always been modest.

 

Once I arrived at the office, they seemed to expect I'd go in with him. No questions asked. He and the doctor bonded over Star Wars (ds was wearing a SW tee). He'd done just about everything, but that and then asked ds if he'd stand in front of him. I asked if I should step outside and the doc looked at me knowingly and said, "no, not quite yet". Finally, he told me "Don't go too far. Just step outside the door. It will take all of 15 seconds." Our doctor's office is in a cool, old train depot with high ceilings, so I could hear everything, including the tell-tale cough :001_smile:. Then I heard, "Mooom, you can come back in!"

 

That was it. I have a healthy boy :D.

Edited September 20, 2011 by sparrow
update to OP

[mchel210]

I always stay in...my son is 15 now. I just turn my head if they do something personal. We havent had an issue with that yet. I guess you could ask him if he wants you to step out of the room while the examine him.

[LidiyaDawn]

I wouldn't be comfortable leaving a child of that age alone in the doctor's office. I'd stay, and if there was something "embarrassing" that had to be done, I'd just look away for him. (would there be? We've never gone for 'physicals', especially at that age…actually, for an 11 year old boy.. I think I'd keep them from doing anything that might be like that. Poor kid!)

[momma aimee]

YES you go in, he is still a child and needs you there, and is not an adult thus should be alone with another adult. You can always look out a window or look at a magaizne if he would like you to "turn your back" -- but you need to be there.

[Starr]

I would go in. I'm pretty matter of fact about medical things. When they are older teens I tell them that they need to decide and be able to look at the doctor and say they want me in the room, if they do.

[momofkhm]

We don't go to the doctor very often. My son hasn't had a full-on physical since he was itty-bitty. He's required to get one for Boy Scouts. Do I go in the room with him? Do I go in and leave? I'm just not sure what the standard protocol is.

 

I would say it is up to you and your son. I still ask my almost 17 yo if she wants me to go back with her. (She always says yes.)

 

I've heard of physicals where the kids get asked all kinds of s*x questions. But I don't remember what age they start. It may be 11, it may be later.

[Pretty in Pink]

All of my children go in annually for physicals. I think I quit going in with my eldest ds around age 10 or 11. Your child doesn't have to be alone with the physician -- there will or should be a nurse present. Just ask for one if the time rolls around and you don't see the nurse.

 

I think you should just ask your son if he would like you to remain in the room with him or wait outside.

[EKS]

I've always gone in with my son. He is now 15. Sometimes the doctor tells me to close my eyes.

 

For the last two or so years, I've told my son that if he wants to speak with the doctor privately, that he is welcome to do so, but he has declined.

[EKS]

I think the responses so far show a degree of hovering which is abnormal for society at large but consistent with attitudes here on this board.

 

 

I wonder what sort of relationships will be formed by children raised in homes where people fear and loathe others to the degree often seen here.

 

I can assure you that this is not the reason I go in with my son.

 

A huge reason is that if I didn't, no questions would get answered and the doctor wouldn't get any information about how his ADHD meds are working, which is always a big part of the conversation at his physical. Actually, the doctor would probably not get any information at all.

 

When my son is completely responsible for his own meds (when he is a legal adult), then I will extricate myself from that particular process, but not before.

[texasmama]

I went in with my 10 year old boy recently for his check up, but I stepped out during the "examine the genitals" part of it. His 8 year old brother and a nurse were in there, as well, as I had taken both boys for the checks. I might have simply averted my eyes except I also had my 5 year old dd with me.

 

I would probably talk to your son about his comfort level regarding this. I also think that some time needs to be spent with the doctor (as a mom) in order to make certain the doc has the information needed. Young boys aren't always good at remembering what to tell the doctor or what the doctor has told them.

 

Yesterday, my teen dd went to the doc, and I went in with her, but the dynamic is different with a same gender kid.

[Brigitte]

I have twin girls who are 10. I stayed for all the questions, the non-private parts of the exam and allowed them the choice of my staying for the private part of the exam. One twin asked me to stay. The other, who is starting puberty and very modest, asked for me and her sister to leave the room. I fully trust our pediatrician and want dd to feel comfortable talking to her. Of course our ped is very conservative and is not going to address topics with my kids that I would not approve of. It is why we picked that office.

[texasmama]

Possibly you missed the part of my post where I stated what happens in my dr's office: the boy goes back for his exam and then the dr fetches me to discuss any issues.

 

This gives the boy the chance to ask any private questions he may have (unlikely at 11 but I have a 14 yr old as well).

 

It also gives me the opportunity to discuss any issues I have.

 

I think its good to empower our children to be in charge of their health care and everything else.

 

I want to point out that I have peds who I trust. It is extremely important to me to have that relationship and I made it a priority to find drs I both like and trust. They happen to attend our church and one taught my ds in RCIA. They know our family and we know theirs.

 

Coming from a slightly different perspective and agreeing that it is a good experience for kids to start having some responsibility for themselves/experiences with trusted adults like doctors which do not involve parents.

 

My almost 11 year old is shy and anxious. He is as comfortable with the pediatrician as he can be. (We've been at the practice for over 10 years). But he is likely to give the pediatrician NO information at all and be flustered and unable to answer questions accurately without some help from me. My presence is medically necessary. (I did step out during the exam.) Conversely, I have an 8 year old son who would be quite capable of writing a list of questions, asking them and discussing them at length with the doctor. He has a different personality.

 

The needs of all children are different. The broad brush which you painted kids with seems inaccurate given the many different types of kids and their needs.

[jelbe5]

I still go in with my 3 children (my son has autism so I will be going in with him forever ;) ).

 

When my oldest dd turned 14 I began to ask her if she wanted me to step outside for the actual examination. She still likes to have me be there. I just turn my head when necessary.

[MBM]

We don't go to the doctor very often. My son hasn't had a full-on physical since he was itty-bitty. He's required to get one for Boy Scouts. Do I go in the room with him? Do I go in and leave? I'm just not sure what the standard protocol is.

 

For our teen boy, our (very wonderful) pediatrician asks us to stay while he does the general exam and then suggests we leave while he exams private areas. It only takes a minute or so, and then we come back in to the room.

I like to be present during most of the exam because our pediatrician discusses what he finds or health issues, and at the same time, we can ask him questions. This works really well for our family.

[Amy in NH]

I go in until they are teens or have obviously hit puberty. I have the option to go in at the beginning of the appointment to discuss issues I might, or they might call me in at the end of the session to discuss issues that were discovered, but I don't stay for the physical examination.

[DianeW88]

My dh goes with my sons for physicals between the ages of 11-15. After that, they go on their own unless they request their dad's presence. I think 11 is a little too old for mommy to be in the room during a physical of the opposite sex child.

[angela in ohio]

If I wasn't in the room for the testicular exam, she would have to get a nurse to come in. I think ds would rather have me in there than a stranger. ;) My doctor (same doctor for whole family, we've been with her for 15 years) just does that part with his back turned toward me.

 

Of course, we must be less private among our family than most, because dh or dd come in with me, dh or I go in with ds, I go with dds. Personally, I think the whole HIPPA-induced concept of "your medical information is super special and private" is odd. If there is a concern, it's always nice to have someone else there to ask the questions you don't think of. And it's nice to have someone to chat with while you wait. :001_smile:

[QuirkyKapers]

I would go in. The doctor is very considerate and covers him up so nothing is seen. I would, however, have no problem leaving for the part of the exam that was more personal and having the doctor getting me when that part was finished especially if my son wanted me to leave.

[MBM]

My dh goes with my sons for physicals between the ages of 11-15. After that, they go on their own unless they request their dad's presence. I think 11 is a little too old for mommy to be in the room during a physical of the opposite sex child.

 

What should a single mother do who's taking her son in, then?

 

Really, I don't see what the big deal is to have an extra set of ears at any medical appointment regardless of age. My husband or I have gone many times with my elderly MIL to her appointments just to make sure we all understand the medical advice. (Dh and I are her caregivers.) My kids who are in their 20s go by themselves to appointments, but recently my daughter had an oral cancer scare that required a biopsy, and then she did call for advice from us and to ask that we come with her if it turned out to be serious. There are definitely occasions when it makes sense.

[fairfarmhand]

I stay in with my dd till the exam starts getting "personal". Step out in the hallway for 2 minutes and then I am back in.

[J-rap]

After kindergarten, we didn't go in for a regular physical again until age 12. I always went in and stayed in with my daughters, but for my son, I just went in for the initial meet and chat, and then left when it was time for the exam.

[In The Great White North]

If it's not OK to let the elderly go to an appointment alone, why would anyone think it's OK to let a child?

 

Never Let the Elderly Go to a Doctor's Visit Alone

 

The elderly might not be able to easily remember their medical history, medications or relate the symptoms they've been experiencing. A family member should always go along to translate important information that the doctor may have and to ask pertinent questions about the elderly's health.

 

Their cognitive abilities aren't any better than the elderly and they are more accustomed to doing whatever they are told.

 

ETA After Jann in Texas thread about her college age daughter in the ER, I am even less inclined to send any of my kids in alone.

[LidiyaDawn]

I think the responses so far show a degree of hovering which is abnormal for society at large but consistent with attitudes here on this board.

 

 

It's funny to me that you call it 'hovering' … I said I wouldn't leave my kids alone with the doctor at that age (and didn't) but I'm not the sort of person one would call "hovering"… my dd14 recently went to a rock concert with friends - no mommy hanging around. :p

[In The Great White North]

No one is suggesting that the parent fail to communicate directly with the dr. __________________

 

Communication is not the issue. It is the tendency of medical personnel to blow off young and old people who do not stand up assertively and demand treatment/testing.

 

This requires that they be educated about their needs, the treatments available and confident enough to demand it. I have yet to meet an 11 year old who can do this. They haven't even had biology yet! They won't know even the common names for all their body parts, diseases, tests and medicines, let alone the technical names. They won't know what is an acceptable range of blood sugar levels, iron levels, etc. They won't even know if they have abnormal pain, because they've always had it so it is normal for them.

 

They will not remember everything to ask mom when she comes back after the exam. They will not even catch what is important because they may have never heard of it before.

 

A child that can't even drive does not have the education, experience and judgement necessary to deal with medical personnel.

 

It has nothing to do with hovering.

[angela in ohio]

I think its good to empower our children to be in charge of their health care and everything else.

 

That's another reason I go in, actually. My parents let me go in on my own from a young age. I never learned to take charge of my health care, to handle medical issues well, until I was in my late twenties and taking my own dc. Throgh my teens and college years, I did a very poor job of my own medical care, doctor's visits, etc.

 

Maybe it's a basic difference in educational philosophy, but I think some things are better modeled and taught outright than just being left to do them and figure it out on your own. By being there in the years when my dc learn to handle things on their own, I have been able to help them develop excellent skills. I can't imagine just assuming that they learned them because they had to (like my parents did.)

 

So, anyway, you can't really assume that everyone goes in because they are hovering or don't want our dc to learn to take care of themselves. Some of us go in because we want them to learn to be more competently in charge of themselves.

[Riverland]

For our teen boy, our (very wonderful) pediatrician asks us to stay while he does the general exam and then suggests we leave while he exams private areas. It only takes a minute or so, and then we come back in to the room.

 

I like to be present during most of the exam because our pediatrician discusses what he finds or health issues, and at the same time, we can ask him questions. This works really well for our family.

 

 

:iagree: That's how we handle it, too.

[StephanieF]

:iagree:

 

I can't believe anyone would consider me to be a "hover" mother!

 

My 12 yr old ds who is perfectly normal and very intelligent would be useless in that situation. He'd remember nothing at all about the conversation with the dr and forget to mention virtually everything he should! Thankfully here in the UK we only go to the dr when we are sick and have no regular check ups at all beyond babyhood so it hasn't been an issue so far. If however my ds 14 or ds12 were sick I would certainly stay with them in the room, otherwise nothing would get resolved!

 

Stephanie

[Jenny in Florida]

I want to point out that I have peds who I trust. It is extremely important to me to have that relationship and I made it a priority to find drs I both like and trust. They happen to attend our church and one taught my ds in RCIA. They know our family and we know theirs.

 

 

That's lovely for you and your children.

 

Our situation is different. We've gone through long stretches without health insurance and have found that, when we get on a new plan, the doctors we had been seeing might not be available to us any longer. We cannot afford to pay out of pocket.

 

Since both of my kids tend to be healthy, too, we don't see doctors very often. In the last 10 years, I think each of them has gone in for required physicals maybe two or three times? And my son was sick enough to require care once.

 

So, we do not have physicians with whom we have carefully built relationships. Nor do we always have much of a choice about which doctors we see.

 

Please understand that I am not a parent who sees potential predators everywhere. However, I do know that my kids tend to be more comfortable when I am around. This is true when I take them to auditions (where I stay in the lobby, of course). They each like having me there to keep them steady and grounded until their turn. So, if one of my kids suggested that he or she would feel better with me in the exam room, I would go in without hesitation. I would also, if said child didn't want me there and I had to pressing reason to go in, stay outside the room.

 

Given that we don't have long-term, close relationships with our doctors, I don't see why it's so weird that a pre-teen or even teen might want a family member present while a virtual stranger pokes around.

 

Edit: I also think the "hovering" comment is a little odd. I'm the parent everyone suggested was wrong when I let my 12-year-old daughter go off to college 800 miles from home. Nothing like jumping to conclusions, huh?

Edited September 20, 2011 by Jenny in Florida

[clarkacademy]

All of my children go in annually for physicals. I think I quit going in with my eldest ds around age 10 or 11. Your child doesn't have to be alone with the physician -- there will or should be a nurse present. Just ask for one if the time rolls around and you don't see the nurse.

 

I think you should just ask your son if he would like you to remain in the room with him or wait outside.

 

:iagree:I think you should make your child comfortable. He may not be ready for that then again he might be

[In The Great White North]

what are you talking about? a physical (routine well child care) doesn't require any tests. If the parent has concerns it is obviously up to them to discuss them with the dr. If the dr has concerns I am certain he can remember them for the 5 mins it takes for the phys exam until mom comes back in.

 

You hope.

[Ottakee]

Well, this is one area where I would hover. We had a family doctor that we all loved for 16 years. He was a bit older, having served as a doctor overseas for years, and was very highly respected. Well, come to find out, he had been molesting young girls over many many years---very often when they would come in for their physicals (not in this office but a previous location) and the parents weren't in the room. The girls were told to "trust the doctor, do what he says, etc" and he took advantage of that with young girls.

 

My son is 23 with a mental impairment but I still go in with him. I ask if he wants me to step out of the room or turn around for parts of the physical and I do as he asks. I go in with my girls as well and they have the freedom to ask me to leave but don't.

 

I think the responses so far show a degree of hovering which is abnormal for society at large but consistent with attitudes here on this board.

 

 

I wonder what sort of relationships will be formed by children raised in homes where people fear and loathe others to the degree often seen here.

[In The Great White North]

But let's face it that's really what people mean when they say NO WAY. They are afraid the dr will molest their child (which is a reasonable fear and which should be addressed with a question about how things work at the practice) OR they are afraid the dr will ask the child a question the parent doesnt want answered. (maybe reasonable maybe not).

 

You left out the age inappropriate questioning and the irritation of paying for a medical appointment from which you get no useful information.

[DianeW88]

What should a single mother do who's taking her son in, then?

 

Really, I don't see what the big deal is to have an extra set of ears at any medical appointment regardless of age. My husband or I have gone many times with my elderly MIL to her appointments just to make sure we all understand the medical advice. (Dh and I are her caregivers.) My kids who are in their 20s go by themselves to appointments, but recently my daughter had an oral cancer scare that required a biopsy, and then she did call for advice from us and to ask that we come with her if it turned out to be serious. There are definitely occasions when it makes sense.

 

I was speaking merely of an annual physical, not something serious and certainly not if the child (or parent, friend or neighbor) ASKS for your presence. My boys get sports physicals each year and my dh accompanies them for those. If you are a single mother, ask for the nurse to step into the room during the sensitive part of the exam. It is actually required by law in most states to have two people in the exam room.

 

Also clarifying that I am not suggesting sending an 11 year old into an exam on their own. Just that my sons (and many others) prefer that their dad be the ones who accompany them when they hit puberty. The doctor will begin to discuss puberty issues with your son, including wet dreams, and my boys are most comfortable with their dad when that occurs. Not saying they don't talk to me about puberty, just that they prefer dad. As my dd prefers discussing menstrual issues with me....someone who has actually had a period. LOL

Edited September 20, 2011 by DianeW88

[sparrow]

Oh my. OP here. I posted literally minutes before I had to leave for the appointment. I saw two responses before I left :001_smile:. I just wondered what was typical, so I didn't look like a moron when I showed up.

 

I asked quickly because my husband was planning on taking him, but something came up at work and he had to go in. After I posted my question, I talked with my husband and son. Together, we decided I'd go in and step outside the door for that part of the exam. My son has always been modest.

 

Once I arrived at the office, they seemed to expect I'd go in with him. No questions asked. He and the doctor bonded over Star Wars (ds was wearing a SW tee). He'd done just about everything, but that and then asked ds if he'd stand in front of him. I asked if I should step outside and the doc looked at me knowingly and said, "no, not quite yet". Finally, he told me "Don't go too far. Just step outside the door. It will take all of 15 seconds." Our doctor's office is in a cool, old train depot with high ceilings, so I could hear everything, including the tell-tale cough :001_smile:. Then I heard, "Mooom, you can come back in!"

 

That was it. I have a healthy boy :D.

[angela in ohio]

common sense prevails again. :D

 

:confused: That's a lot different than the response you had to other posters who said they would go in with the boy.

[Brigitte]

Oh my. OP here. I posted literally minutes before I had to leave for the appointment. I saw two responses before I left :001_smile:. I just wondered what was typical, so I didn't look like a moron when I showed up.

 

I asked quickly because my husband was planning on taking him, but something came up at work and he had to go in. After I posted my question, I talked with my husband and son. Together, we decided I'd go in and step outside the door for that part of the exam. My son has always been modest.

 

Once I arrived at the office, they seemed to expect I'd go in with him. No questions asked. He and the doctor bonded over Star Wars (ds was wearing a SW tee). He'd done just about everything, but that and then asked ds if he'd stand in front of him. I asked if I should step outside and the doc looked at me knowingly and said, "no, not quite yet". Finally, he told me "Don't go too far. Just step outside the door. It will take all of 15 seconds." Our doctor's office is in a cool, old train depot with high ceilings, so I could hear everything, including the tell-tale cough :001_smile:. Then I heard, "Mooom, you can come back in!"

 

That was it. I have a healthy boy :D.

 

Yay! I am glad it went well and that everyone went home happy.

[Parrothead]

Oh my. OP here. I posted literally minutes before I had to leave for the appointment. I saw two responses before I left :001_smile:. I just wondered what was typical, so I didn't look like a moron when I showed up.

 

I asked quickly because my husband was planning on taking him, but something came up at work and he had to go in. After I posted my question, I talked with my husband and son. Together, we decided I'd go in and step outside the door for that part of the exam. My son has always been modest.

 

Once I arrived at the office, they seemed to expect I'd go in with him. No questions asked. He and the doctor bonded over Star Wars (ds was wearing a SW tee). He'd done just about everything, but that and then asked ds if he'd stand in front of him. I asked if I should step outside and the doc looked at me knowingly and said, "no, not quite yet". Finally, he told me "Don't go too far. Just step outside the door. It will take all of 15 seconds." Our doctor's office is in a cool, old train depot with high ceilings, so I could hear everything, including the tell-tale cough :001_smile:. Then I heard, "Mooom, you can come back in!"

 

That was it. I have a healthy boy :D.

I'm too late for useful advice. What I bolded was what I would have advised. That way you have you questions answered and your young man is treated as more of an adult than child.

 

Glad it went well.

[silliness7]

I just did this with my sons this summer. 14 and almost 13 and will do it next month with my 11yo.

I went in the room. The doctor talked just as much to me as to my child. I think it was necessary. They hadn't been to the doctor in YEARS. They would not have been comfortable being there alone.

 

When time came for the more personal part of the exam, I stepped out of the room with my oldest son and with 2nd son I just turned my back. No biggie.

[Kile529]

....didn't realize how many pages were on the thread....deleted what I posted...bc I don't think it matters. Lol

 

Glad all went well!!

Edited September 20, 2011 by Kile529

[silliness7]

I think the responses so far show a degree of hovering which is abnormal for society at large but consistent with attitudes here on this board.

 

 

I wonder what sort of relationships will be formed by children raised in homes where people fear and loathe others to the degree often seen here.

 

:confused::confused:

I know people of all ages who find the doctor's office an intimidating and/or uncomfortable place and seek out moral support with friends/family when needing to go. Not just teens, not just homeschoolers. :confused: It's normal and natural to take someone to the doctor with you. That's my opinion. My mom went with me a couple years ago when I had my first mammogram. So what! She's not a hover-er and I'm not an incompetent stressed out basket case. It was nice for someone who had btdt to show me the ropes.

[Sahamamama]

I don't have a son, so no advice about the OP's original question. :D Just a story from my own childhood. When I was about 12 or 13 years old, I had pneumonia, and my father was the parent in charge to take me to the crotchety pediatrician (we hardly ever went in those days, except for shots and serious illnesses). Anyway, my father thought nothing of going into the exam room with me. During the exam, the doctor wanted me to lift up my shirt, which I did, but only up to my bra line (I wasn't even wearing a bra, but I did have a trainer).

 

He noticed my resistance and said reprovingly, "Young lady, what are you trying to hide?"

 

I replied proudly and emphatically, "28-Double A!"

I thought my father and the doctor would lose bladder control. FWIW, I never went back to that pediatrician again.

[Sputterduck]

I think the responses so far show a degree of hovering which is abnormal for society at large but consistent with attitudes here on this board.

 

 

I wonder what sort of relationships will be formed by children raised in homes where people fear and loathe others to the degree often seen here.

 

Huh. You know, I nearly cried at that age when they wouldn't let my mom come back with me. I was shy and I wanted my mom. It made me feel as if it was something secretive and bad. If it wasn't, why shouldn't my mom be there? Of course, now I understand. But at 11? 11 is still very much a child.

[Kile529]

...And she did exactly what I do myself- absent myself for the physical exam and available for the discussions.

 

So because it turned out exactly how you handle yours, then common sense prevails. That's hilarious.

[momdm]

Yes, I would go in the room, unless my son requested specifically not to.

[LidiyaDawn]

Well then Id say you made the wrong hovery decision.:001_smile:

 

I made the decision that was in the best interest of MY children at the time. :)

 

As it happens, dd14 still wants me in the doc's office with her.. she's not comfortable going alone because she doesn't "know" our current doctor. I will continue to accompany her (as well as ds12 and our newbie) until they no longer want and/or need my presence. (For ds12 that will never happen - disabilities.)

 

Our doctor's office seems to expect parents to accompany their minor children anyway… I've never once gotten the "go away" vibe.

[angela in ohio]

her response was a lot more calm and collected than the horrified capitalized shocked and paranoid NO WAYS! seen on page one. And she did exactly what I do myself- absent myself for the physical exam and available for the discussions.

 

I must not be looking closely enough, because I don't see those responses. :confused:

 

She went in for the whole visit, but stepped out for a minute. I guess I see that as different than not going in.

[Truscifi]

Is dad available to go? Ds7 told me this year he would rather dh go in with him. We were all there together since we all see the same doc, so it worked out fine.

[akmommy]

An 11 year old? I would go in with him and respect his privacy during more personal parts of the exam. At 11 I just don't think he is old enough to think of or ask any pertinent questions or accurately and fully answer any questions the doctor may have.

 

At about 16 I started asking my DD what her preference was and she usually wanted me there. I also let her do most of the talking at this point so she could practice while i was there to hear and ask questions she may not have thought of. She has problems with ovarian cysts, and whenever they needed to physically examine her female parts I stood up by her top half and held her hand (her request), respecting her privacy while still being there for moral support. At 18 she still prefers to have me there when she visits the doctor. Come to think of it both DH and I prefer to have the other there when we have to go the doctor.

[Sahamamama]

I don't have a son, so no advice about the OP's original question. :D Just a story from my own childhood. When I was about 12 or 13 years old, I had pneumonia, and my father was the parent in charge to take me to the crotchety pediatrician (we hardly ever went in those days, except for shots and serious illnesses). Anyway, my father thought nothing of going into the exam room with me. During the exam, the doctor wanted me to lift up my shirt, which I did, but only up to my bra line (I wasn't even wearing a bra, but I did have a trainer).

 

He noticed my resistance and said reprovingly, "Young lady, what are you trying to hide?"

 

I replied proudly and emphatically, "28-Double A!"

I thought my father and the doctor would lose bladder control. FWIW, I never went back to that pediatrician again.

 

Okay, I know I'm quoting myself, but I was really trying to lighten this thread up! :D

 

:001_smile::001_smile::001_smile: HTH.

[Sputterduck]

An 11 year old? I would go in with him and respect his privacy during more personal parts of the exam. At 11 I just don't think he is old enough to think of or ask any pertinent questions or accurately and fully answer any questions the doctor may have.

 

At about 16 I started asking my DD what her preference was and she usually wanted me there. I also let her do most of the talking at this point so she could practice while i was there to hear and ask questions she may not have thought of. She has problems with ovarian cysts, and whenever they needed to physically examine her female parts I stood up by her top half and held her hand (her request), respecting her privacy while still being there for moral support. At 18 she still prefers to have me there when she visits the doctor. Come to think of it both DH and I prefer to have the other there when we have to go the doctor.

 

I think that is very valuable. You don't teach a child by not being there. You teach a child by observing them and then you can help them work on areas that they need. It's important to teach a child to think of and ask important questions in a medical setting, to know what is appropriate during an exam, to advocate for their own rights as a patient, etc. How does a parent do that while being absent?