Ugh, Week 2, and I want to quit .. How do i you do it

[kathy_overman]

So we kind of ended up homeschooling vs. we knew this is what we wanted to do (frankly, we never would have guessed we would HS). We had our kids in PS for 3 years, and this is our 2nd week at home.

 

I am miserable. I miss my alone time. I can't stand constantly being badgered by the kids. They interrupt each other and me all day, the don't get that this is supposed to be work - not a continuation of Summer.

 

I just said I quit, and walked out - saying they are going back to PS. I want to send them back to PS. I want my life back.

 

I know there is an adjustment period, but I don't know if I am really committed to this. That said our 2nd grader was the reason we started and really can't go back to PS - he needs to be home.

 

Our 3rd grader did well in PS, but loves being at home. Please help .. how do us newbies make it work? I kind of want to make it work, and I want my ME time back. Ugh, so confused:tongue_smilie:

[DianeW88]

I'm sorry, what is this "me time" of which you speak? :lol: If you are homeschooling, that is going to be severely limited and that's just the flat-out truth. Yes, you will have to adjust.

 

One suggestion....kids spend "quiet time" in their rooms every afternoon. They may read, play a quiet game, nap, play with toys, whatever. They are not to come out before the hour is up unless they are bleeding or on fire. That's your "me-time". With young homeschoolers, you won't get much more than that unless you can find a co-op or outside classes where you can drop and pick-up your kiddos.

 

It's a different world you are now living in. But definitely give it more time. It's new for all of you.

[CalicoKat]

So we kind of ended up homeschooling vs. we knew this is what we wanted to do (frankly, we never would have guessed we would HS). We had our kids in PS for 3 years, and this is our 2nd week at home.

 

I am miserable. I miss my alone time. I can't stand constantly being badgered by the kids. They interrupt each other and me all day, the don't get that this is supposed to be work - not a continuation of Summer.

 

I just said I quit, and walked out - saying they are going back to PS. I want to send them back to PS. I want my life back.

 

I know there is an adjustment period, but I don't know if I am really committed to this. That said our 2nd grader was the reason we started and really can't go back to PS - he needs to be home.

 

Our 3rd grader did well in PS, but loves being at home. Please help .. how do us newbies make it work? I kind of want to make it work, and I want my ME time back. Ugh, so confused:tongue_smilie:

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I crave alone time too. I have to carve it out and I have worked long and hard with my kids to have them respect the hour long after lunch nap/quiet/room time. They get to do free reading, watch a DVD on the portable, or sleep. Whatever as long as they're quiet. No more than 2 kids who can interact quietly together.

 

On really bad days we do quiet time in the living room. I get the couch. They get the floor. If they leave the room it's a big no no.

 

When DH's here he and I have agreed that after dinner clean up is his hour with the kids so I can be alone again.

 

Without those two hours daily I quickly burn out.

 

Don't quit, find a way to cope. Every family is different. Your kids have an opportunity to put another skill in their toolbox, "Taking care of Mom by respecting her need for a break."

 

Start now, before tomorrow. Take a quiet time. Time it, see how long they can do it before all H$ll breaks loose, then tomorrow do it again just short of that time. You can build them up to the hour slowly by adding a few more minutes each week or day.

 

Alternatively....there's chocolate, Mike's, or a trip through the drive through for a strong coffee/fav. beverage just for mom. :001_smile:

 

We all get where you are at daily, weekly or monthly. It's about finding a balance.

 

BUT if you decide to change your homeschooling plans, that's totally OK too.

[Homemaker]

Definately give it more time for you to adjust. I agree about the "room time", I make all my kids, no matter the age, go lay down and rest quietly in their room for an hour and a half. We all need a break and I can take a short nap to reenergize for the afternoon.

 

Your mind set will change, I was so looking forward to having the day to myself when all the kids went to school! I, of course, don't have that now, but I know this is part of homeschooling and I won't regret it and I will have plenty of "me" time when they grow up.

[Random]

:grouphug:

 

Take heart!

 

Is your husband able to work out a schedule with you, so you can have some time to yourself? How about getting up before the kids? Staying up after they go to bed?

 

Maybe there is another homeschooling mom close by who would be willing to trade-off kid-sitting with you?

 

I completely understand how you feel, and I think most parents here do, as well.

 

Hang in there and don't give up, yet! Give yourself some time and space to work-out a routine that doesn't drive you crazy.

 

:grouphug:

 

Make sure you define your boundaries with your children. For instance, my children know that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are they allowed to interrupt my prayer and Bible time. Someone needs to be close to death (and even then, I'm annoyed) before they try to talk to me during that time. I absolutely have to have those 30-45 minutes of peace before I start my day.

 

We also have 'room time' in the afternoons, where everyone is expected to entertain themselves in their rooms for an hour or so.

 

It will just take some time for your children to realize that they really are still in school. Whenever my kids start to goof-off and not do their schoolwork, they start to miss fun outings so they can complete their 'homework' because schooling is our priority. For instance, if they are being lazy (and not struggling with the material) and don't get their lessons done, they may have to miss a picnic or field trip or Boy Scout meeting in order to get their lessons done before the next morning.

 

:grouphug:

[gingersmom]

Think of it as a 9-5 job. Where is the "me" time in there?

 

I haven't had much "me" time since my daughter was born nearly 15 years ago.

[momma aimee]

So we kind of ended up homeschooling vs. we knew this is what we wanted to do (frankly, we never would have guessed we would HS). We had our kids in PS for 3 years, and this is our 2nd week at home.

 

I am miserable. I miss my alone time. I can't stand constantly being badgered by the kids. They interrupt each other and me all day, the don't get that this is supposed to be work - not a continuation of Summer.

 

I just said I quit, and walked out - saying they are going back to PS. I want to send them back to PS. I want my life back.

 

I know there is an adjustment period, but I don't know if I am really committed to this. That said our 2nd grader was the reason we started and really can't go back to PS - he needs to be home.

 

Our 3rd grader did well in PS, but loves being at home. Please help .. how do us newbies make it work? I kind of want to make it work, and I want my ME time back. Ugh, so confused:tongue_smilie:

 

what time do the kids go to bed? as a SAHM to 2 littles (5 and 3) AFTER BEDTIME is my time. granted it is cleaning, school planning, maybe reading and so on -- but it is MINE. I'd suggest early bedtime for the kids so that you can have some quiet time

[arghmatey]

The above suggestions are good. Also, if you have the resources, how about hiring some help? A mother's helper can come a few times a week to hang out with the children while you re-energize.

 

Good luck!

[Forget-Me-Not]

It gets better. It really does. You have to find a groove and a routine that works for you. We're about 4-5 weeks in and my kids are just finally settling into the idea that summer is over and we're going to get up and do school every day.

 

I agree about having a quiet time during the day where they can't bug mom. And if your spouse is supportive, work with him to carve out the alone time you need. DH usually takes over the bath/bed routine in the evening so I can decompress, and he's fully supportive of the fact that sometimes I need to just not BE at home for a while, so a couple of times a month, I'll head out by myself to eat/shop/read/get a pedicure/whatever.

 

I've also found it extremely helpful for my mental health to take up a hobby that is JUST MINE. I've started taking photography classes on line and while I do take pics of my kids, it doesn't necessarily have to be about them, KWIM? It's just a little something I've been doing to stretch and grow within myself and it helps a lot.

 

ETA: Ditto on the early bedtime too. I've been known to send my 6 and 8 yo to their bedrooms at 7:30. They don't necessarily have to go to sleep at that point, but we do the bedtime routine, have family prayer, etc. and then they are required to stay in there, even if they are reading or playing quietly.

[kathy_overman]

Thank you for the encouragement.

 

I do want to make it work, but I am not sure I am cut out for this.

 

What about while you are schooling ... they are both saying: Mom, I don't understand, I can't, what next, non-stop.... this makes me scream (as I did today :-(). What can I expect from my 9 and 7 year old boys?

 

I feel like they are walking all over me, and it is pushing me to the brink - no wonder I want to be alone! Even if this is best, I feel so poorly cut out for this work.

 

Okay, I get that it is a job - when do you make phone calls, schedule things, etc.? Ugh - can you tell just how overwhelmed I am? (excuse typos ... they are once again screaming at each other!) ... no time to re-read.

[Parker Martin]

Think of it as a 9-5 job. Where is the "me" time in there?

 

That's how I think of being a stay at home mom. There was no me time at work, and there's no me time at home.

[Parker Martin]

It sounds like they're transitioning to a new way of school. Would it be possible to write a schedule for them on a marker board or something? Then you could train them to check the board for what to do next. That would lighten the load a little, and you'd only be left with the "I don't understand" issues.

[momma aimee]

It gets better. It really does. You have to find a groove and a routine that works for you. We're about 4-5 weeks in and my kids are just finally settling into the idea that summer is over and we're going to get up and do school every day.

 

I agree about having a quiet time during the day where they can't bug mom. And if your spouse is supportive, work with him to carve out the alone time you need. DH usually takes over the bath/bed routine in the evening so I can decompress, and he's fully supportive of the fact that sometimes I need to just not BE at home for a while, so a couple of times a month, I'll head out by myself to eat/shop/read/get a pedicure/whatever.

 

I've also found it extremely helpful for my mental health to take up a hobby that is JUST MINE. I've started taking photography classes on line and while I do take pics of my kids, it doesn't necessarily have to be about them, KWIM? It's just a little something I've been doing to stretch and grow within myself and it helps a lot.

 

ETA: Ditto on the early bedtime too. I've been known to send my 6 and 8 yo to their bedrooms at 7:30. They don't necessarily have to go to sleep at that point, but we do the bedtime routine, have family prayer, etc. and then they are required to stay in there, even if they are reading or playing quietly.

 

mine go to bed at 6:30 each night, 7 is 'getting to stay up late" and I've been knowns to put them dovn at 6!!! I love my evenings. And YES I mean to sleep.

[AngelBee]

How is today different then summer vacation?

 

:grouphug: We will help you work through this.

[Jenny in Florida]

Let me admit right up front that:

 

1. My kids were never in school, meaning we've never had to deal with adjusting from school to home.

 

2. Even so, we have rotten days and rotten weeks.

 

But, I can tell you I've heard from people who bring their kids home after a year or more in school that there is a need to adjust slowly. Some folks call this "de-schooling," and I've heard guidelines that suggest taking as long as a month for every year the child was in school. During that time, as I understand it, the idea is not to try and do much formal homeschooling. Instead, read books, go places, do fun educational projects, etc.

 

Then, slowly work your way into the new normal of homeschooling, adding in a subject or two at a time until you have a full schedule going.

 

As I said, it's not something I've had to do, but I can see the thinking behind the approach.

[momma aimee]

Thank you for the encouragement.

 

I do want to make it work, but I am not sure I am cut out for this.

 

What about while you are schooling ... they are both saying: Mom, I don't understand, I can't, what next, non-stop.... this makes me scream (as I did today :-(). What can I expect from my 9 and 7 year old boys?

 

I feel like they are walking all over me, and it is pushing me to the brink - no wonder I want to be alone! Even if this is best, I feel so poorly cut out for this work.

 

Okay, I get that it is a job - when do you make phone calls, schedule things, etc.? Ugh - can you tell just how overwhelmed I am? (excuse typos ... they are once again screaming at each other!) ... no time to re-read.

 

i saw an idea for signs -- like hand held stop lights.

 

give the child an assingemnt, and the sign, and a "free time activities you at 1000% sure they can do -- copy work to pratice hand writting, coloring page relvant to a stroy read yesterday ......the child leavs the "I AM OK" side up as long as they are ok -- if they need help they flip the sign to "HELP" and then work on the other tiask untill you get there to help.

 

it is like any rule or expectation, it is going to take time and time and pratice and so on -- but it is realistic.

 

The kids have to learn the new routine and expectations -- there is going to be a testing time, like any other house hold change.

[scrapbookbuzz]

The first year is definitely the most difficult for everyone. You are not alone! :grouphug:

 

I tell EVERY new homeschooling mom to look at it like the first year of marriage:

You now get to spend inordinate amounts of time with someone you love and THOUGHT you knew only to find out they have some really weird quirks, some which may well drive you crazy at times. Do not be surprised if you do not get everything done that you'd hoped to get done, academic or otherwise. Homeschooling is more than just school at home. It's really a lifestyle.

 

Most importantly, realize and REMEMBER: It's not about YOU.;)

[momma aimee]

maybe a posted list of explicit rules; a nice star chart for going a good job and to good ol loss of priviliages for NOT?

[RebeccaS]

:grouphug::grouphug:

This is my second week here and it's been hard adjusting to the new schedule. My kids have always been homeschooled, but, after a summer off and new dynamics each year, it takes us a while to get our groove. Last year was just my girls. This year I've added both my boys as well. It's super chaotic. But, I also know that by about week 6, we'll have the kinks ironed out and things will be better. So, if you want to do it, don't give up yet! But, don't feel bad if you decide not to keep going. That's ok, too.

 

My girls (ages 8 and 9) are using planners this year. I fill in the work they need to complete, day by day for a week, and they tick it off as they complete things. It gives them a sense of ownership over their day. They can see what needs to be done and can work on things independently when my boys require my full attention. The first week was a learning curve for them. They had to learn what they could do on their own and I had to work with them on not interrupting me when I was teaching the boys. This week has gotten better in that way, but they still need some reminding. ;)

 

I feel greatly overwhelmed, at times, with the sheer amount of talking directed at me each day. I really, really need some quiet time. So, in the afternoons, I require quiet time for the kids and myself. It didn't happen the first week (I'm still trying to figure out how to get everything done before dinner), but is gradually happening this week as I figure out how to work things. I also put my boys (ages 5 and 6) to bed at 7:30 as well as my girls, though they get to read for an hour. But, it gives me a few hours to spend time with dh, clean up, organize for the next day, etc. (I go to bed pretty early myself.)

 

When do I make phone calls? Well, I do try not to handle things during the morning hours. That's our time for doing the majority of our work. It works best for us. But, maybe for you, it would work to take an hour in the morning to get your necessary things done and let the kids play or read for that time and then get started with your day?

 

I wish you the best. Dh was ready to put all the kids in school last Friday. He was here for the 2nd half of our day and when he saw how things were going, he thought I was absolutely insane for doing this and we'd all be better off with the kids in school. I asked him to give me until December and then we'd revisit it. It's always crazy (for me) getting back to school.

 

 

Thank you for the encouragement.

 

I do want to make it work, but I am not sure I am cut out for this.

 

What about while you are schooling ... they are both saying: Mom, I don't understand, I can't, what next, non-stop.... this makes me scream (as I did today :-(). What can I expect from my 9 and 7 year old boys?

 

I feel like they are walking all over me, and it is pushing me to the brink - no wonder I want to be alone! Even if this is best, I feel so poorly cut out for this work.

 

Okay, I get that it is a job - when do you make phone calls, schedule things, etc.? Ugh - can you tell just how overwhelmed I am? (excuse typos ... they are once again screaming at each other!) ... no time to re-read.

[Scuff]

Do you have a schedule of when they're supposed to get things done? How is your DH at being the heavy? What we've found works for us is that I just keep them on the schedule. If they don't get math done at math's time, than it's "homework". DH is not happy if they have homework, since that's the only time he sees them. We also sometimes reward them for finishing on time or withhold meals until it's done. (it's amazing how fast something gets done and how easy it really is when we know food is waiting). It is an adjustment. They would be adjusting at school, also, we just don't have to deal with it when it's there.

[sbgrace]

:grouphug: Every dynamic is different and all kids are different of course. During summer/out of school time now do they play together? Are they able to play alone?

 

How long does your school day take? I'm wondering what curriculum you're using? Is it expecting a lot of self teaching?

 

I am "on" during school time. I don't expect my down time then and, in fact, I'm right there with them for all subjects. No way could one of my 7 year olds do work on his own. In fact, it's a struggle with me there re-directing.

 

School, though, doesn't take all day. We do math and language arts in the morning and then other subjects (each day it will be either art, music, science, or history) in the afternoon. There is downtime between those for all of us. So my kids play together or alone. They may fight or need something of course so it's not like kid free time and there are meals and such but I'm not directing or redirecting or teaching like school. I can read a book, get on here, make a phone call, etc.

 

Outside of that I have a bad habit of staying up late for that kid free downtime especially on the week-ends.

[Random]

Thank you for the encouragement.

 

I do want to make it work, but I am not sure I am cut out for this.

 

What about while you are schooling ... they are both saying: Mom, I don't understand, I can't, what next, non-stop.... this makes me scream (as I did today :-(). What can I expect from my 9 and 7 year old boys?

 

I feel like they are walking all over me, and it is pushing me to the brink - no wonder I want to be alone! Even if this is best, I feel so poorly cut out for this work.

 

Okay, I get that it is a job - when do you make phone calls, schedule things, etc.? Ugh - can you tell just how overwhelmed I am? (excuse typos ... they are once again screaming at each other!) ... no time to re-read.

 

My boys are 9 and 7. I wish we were close geographically. I'd love to have you over for coffee and share war stories!

 

I feel poorly cut out for this, too. It's not coming naturally for me to be a homeschooling mom.

 

I can hear your frustration, and it's totally normal.

 

 

When both of my boys start talking to me at the same time, I will just ask one of them to stop. I'll say something like, "Please stop talking. I can't hear both of you at the same time." Usually, that's all it takes. It's almost like they don't realize it until you say it.

 

This year, I have been giving them their daily list of work to do first thing in the morning. That has greatly cut down on questions from them about how much there is to do and when they will be finished. I bought student assignment books from Rainbow Resource for a few bucks each. They were really worth it for me!

 

As far as making phone calls, I let the boys know that I need them to be quiet while I'm on the phone. I will reward them for 'helping me' by doing so. If I tell them before hand what I expect, it will sometimes work. ;) If I have to lock myself in the bedroom so I can finish the call, they know they are in TROUBLE.

 

It is helpful to lay out the consequences and rewards for their behavior before the fights happen. Do you think it would help if, after dinner, you explained to them that starting tomorrow, they will earn rewards for every day they don't fight with each other? Or maybe for completing schoolwork without complaining? Or whatever you'd like to see change?

 

As with any career, there are good days and bad days. Homeschooling is the most humbling thing I have ever done. After saying all of this, I feel like I need to add the disclaimer that our home is still fairly chaotic, but I do see very, very slow and steady progress. Slowly, the good days are coming more often and my kids are completing their schoolwork.

[Parrothead]

Your kids are testing you. They are trying to see if you will break and send them back to school. This may not be a conscious decision on their parts, but nonetheless that is what is happening. From the sound of it, they might be succeeding.

 

:grouphug:

 

First thing you need are rules. Easy simple to understand rules. Most of the rules of polite society work just fine. No interrupting, raise you hand if you have a question, work quietly when it is time to work by yourself. One I find handy is try the problem first. Then if you don't understand or can't make sense of it come to me. This eliminated (or mostly) dd trying to get me to tell her the answers.

 

Just saying you have rules isn't enough. They need to be enforced. This enforcement may vary from child to child. I understand that with boys, it is important to involve dad if at all possible in the enforcement of rules. In many homeschool families dad is school administrator - i.e., principal.

 

Next you need a schedule. As they get older and more independent in their work you will have more time to do the things you want. Right now you should just set your mind to the fact that your children need you. Their needs have to come first for just a little while. They need a safe and nurturing environment in which to learn and excel.

 

Children find safety in a schedule. They learn to know what comes next. In my house we have a daily, weekly and monthly schdeule. The daily schedule is posted in the dining room. The weekly is in my head. The monthly is a large dry-erase calendar in the kitchen.

 

The daily schedule includes times for wake up, personal needs, chores, school, meals, quiet times and any fun activities for the day such as going to the library. Go ahead and schedule your phone calls and business needs. Schedule trips to the market.

 

I tend to stick to the daily schedule religiously for the first 6 weeks. Once we've all learned the routine things are not so rigid.

 

Now, if your life consisted of handing out with girlfriends during the day, running out to meet for coffee, recreational shopping and the like you'll have to find other times to do these things. Maybe a girls' night out or weekend catching up.

 

It may be that you find yourself growing away from the things you used to think were important. Change is hard but is often done and done for the better.

 

Good luck.

[AK_Mom4]

Mandatory quiet time - doesn't have to be in the afternoon. You can take a break mid-morning and set them to look at books QUIETLY.

 

Physical activity BEFORE starting school work cuts down on the annoying behavior here.

 

A list of work assignments on paper or on the board lets them "do the next thing" without clamoring at you or find something productive to do while they wait for you to finish with the other child.

 

For us, background music helps calm everything down - YMMV.

 

Hang in there! Make a list of prep-work things you see this week that would save you time if you did them in advance for next week.

[dakarimom5]

What works for me is getting up before my children and having my first cup of coffee (maybe 2) before I get everyone up. Secondly, I do a round robin thing where I spend 30 minutes with each child. Then I do snack time and use the hour for that to answer questions, make calls or gather supplies for the next round of school. After snack time is the subjects we all do together, like history.

 

Also, the two hours I am up after their bedtime is my time for planning, cleaning and chilling!

[butterflymommy]

Make sure you are not doing too much hand-holding or coddling during their assignments. My goal has always been to have them work independently. I give the assignment, they do it, hopefully, on their own. Of course I help if necessary but I always emphasize self sufficiency. With the very little ones (say, until they are reading well) I do have to sit with them and help them through stuff. But remember, even in school children get only a few minutes of one on one teacher attention. So there is no need for you to sit there coaching them through every move. Is the work you are giving them too hard? Is that why they are constantly asking for help? Children have an independent work level and an assisted work level. Make sure they have assignments at an independent work level.

 

As far as me time, yes, you should be able to find it, but it might not be during normal school hours. When all my kids were little I usually didn't get a break until after 3pm or so. "School hours" were from 8am-3pm roughly. Now we go till 4pm before the TV or computers can be on. But do give yourself a break after hours, let them entertain themselves while you rest.

[myfunnybunch]

Thank you for the encouragement.

 

I do want to make it work, but I am not sure I am cut out for this.

 

What about while you are schooling ... they are both saying: Mom, I don't understand, I can't, what next, non-stop.... this makes me scream (as I did today :-(). What can I expect from my 9 and 7 year old boys?

 

I feel like they are walking all over me, and it is pushing me to the brink - no wonder I want to be alone! Even if this is best, I feel so poorly cut out for this work.

 

Okay, I get that it is a job - when do you make phone calls, schedule things, etc.? Ugh - can you tell just how overwhelmed I am? (excuse typos ... they are once again screaming at each other!) ... no time to re-read.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

The first few weeks can be really hard. You and they are not settled into a completely new routine...new lifestyle, really.

 

One of my most important "Aha!" moments was the realization that I need to make routine my friend. Every day we have breakfast, clean up and do chores, start school. My kids now know what to expect. I'd expect lots of questions at this stage, and lots and lots of guidance, boundary-setting, attention. Your kids are learning the routine. It's a lot of work up front, but it pays off in the end.

 

What do you think of taking a step back and just easing into things? Start with just the basics. Establish your routine with those, and give yourself a pat on the back at the end of the day if you complete reading, writing, arithmetic. ;) Then when you get your feet under you, you can add the rest a little at a time. We still start our school year this way. It's easier for me to focus on creating the yearly routine if I don't have a huge list of subjects to get through.

 

My eldest dd was pulled out of ps and she really didn't take me seriously at first. It took some consistent training and some consequences (such as schoolwork in the evening during video game time because work wasn't finished) for her to really understand that while learning at home was very different from school, I still had high expectations. Again, teaching the routine and expectations was key. I made sure to get that part down before we ramped up the academic expectations.

 

:grouphug: For you, part of the routine might be an afternoon quiet time. Everyone in a separate space reading or playing quietly. It takes a little training there, too, for the quiet part, but it's so worth it.

 

Hang in there. It just takes time. The frustration and overwhelmed feeling is just a signal that some things need adjusting. It took me a few months to get a feel for a routine, the first year to feel like I mostly knew what I was doing. You can do this.

 

Cat

[Momto3indians]

It is not always fun...it's work...and at times overwhelming and at times a blast and other times a total train wreck!

 

Having homeschooled all my kids thru (all in college now) I can look back and see how worthwhile it was. I would do the same all over again.

 

One of the things I told myself every year and was also told this by my homeschool moms/friends surrounding me...was to relax!! Take a day off! Give it time!!!

 

And yes...for you, with your kids so used to the school schedule and leaving home to go to school might also need an adjustment time to this new life! Make sure you have some key homeschool moms to guide you thru these first months! I know some who didn't start reallllly schooling until well into October but they still learned enough for the school year!

 

To get their attention....you could show them your schedule for the week on Sunday. Add perks...like 'cooking class' and baking cookies after they have completed a morning of math, history, etc...

 

Or take them out...field trips are all school days. It's science...or history related and I counted them all as school days and they did learn tons!! We were able to really take our time and learn about something vs. read a textbook, answer a few questions and move onto the next subject.

 

I hope you stick it out and can encourage other homeschool moms in the future of how that first year went or first few months and what perks and fun you added to it to grab their attention for learning thru you! (and yes..like other moms suggested we had 'quiet times' each day. I needed to just take a breather, too, and that is okay to do!

 

Not one of my kids regret being homeschooled. Yeah..no system of learning is perfect, but they have all told me they'd have been completely different people had we not been a homeschool family. And we swam year round...played soccer...did drama...plays...co'ops for some years...they were busy and it was worth it!!

[ktgrok]

How much school are you doing? You should be able to be done by lunch with those ages. Then the afternoon is yours to schedule things, make phone calls, etc.

 

Also, do you have written down what each child has to do each day? If they each have an assignment list to check off it may make things more structured for them, which will help you. Finally set some ground rules as to raising a hand to ask a question or something, if you need less noise during the day. Or work with one at a time, with the other one in the other room?

 

Finally, what curriculum are you using? Maybe that is part of the problem?

[QuirkyKapers]

I get up before my husband leaves for work and I go to Brueggers so they can hand me a fresh brewed iced tea. Sometimes, I meet a friend early there and we chat for an hour. Some people think I am crazy and wonder why I don't make iced tea at home. It is my sanity.

 

The other thing, is I have my kids enrolled in several programs where I don't have to stay. Even if I have to stay at a program, at least I have quiet time to myself.

 

Another idea, swap play dates with a friend. Even if you do it twice a month, you know you will have that time.

 

Last, hubby and I plan one night a week that he is home with the kids. Even if it is just a couple hours and I am home before kids go to bed, although I don't have to be, it saves my sanity.

[Dmmetler]

I only have one, but having an afternoon "Quiet time", the occasional outside class (I LOVE my DD's every-other-week science class-I would have to admit that one reason for signing her up this year is because it's right across the street from Panera, and that hour spent with a cup of coffee, something high calorie and a good book in a spot with NO kids whatsoever does great things to my mood), and a fairly early bedtime (she can stay up later and read in her room) keeps me sane-especially since DH often doesn't get home until after DD's bedtime.

 

The other thing that has kept my sanity through DD's infant years to now is that when she was a baby, I had a chance to start teaching early childhood music classes on weekends. That time spent driving to the studio, setting up the classroom, teaching OTHER PEOPLE'S kids, who I get to send back at the end of the hour), packing up, driving home (sometimes running errands on the way)...It's amazingly refreshing. I am considering giving up those Saturday classes for the Spring simply because DD now often has activities on weekends that I hate to miss, but I also think that it would do bad things to my mood to not have that break where I'm able to put on my professional hat and JUST my professional hat for a couple of hours. Working from home just isn't the same-when I'm doing curriculum work or administrative stuff from home, I'm wearing the mom had AND the professional one (and sometimes mom, teacher and professional hat at once-although I think I've finally got everyone trained not to call me for anything work related before noon unless it's a crisis that I can do something about right then. If the building is burning down, call the fire department, and almost anything else can wait until after 12:00, when I've usually put up the "Homeschool Teacher" hat for the day.)

Edited September 13, 2011 by dmmetler

[texasmama]

It took me several months to adjust to the 24/7 being with my kids homeschool lifestyle. I was going nuts at first and then one day I realized I wasn't. I had adjusted.

 

If you have family, friends or paid babysitters and the means to pay them, I would avail myself of these opportunities to get a break. On the weekends, if you have a dh who works a traditional M-F job, ask him to take the kids somewhere for a few hours while you stare at a wall. That will fix most of your problems, I suspect. It does mine, anyway.:grouphug:

[*Lulu*]

You have gotten some good suggestions. (I tell my kids that rest time is for my sanity!) Let me share how I have cut way down the attention grab craziness during school time.

 

I have an area designated as the waiting area, and I keep a basket with logic games, books, puzzles, etc. there. If one of my kids need me but I am working with another child, they go and sit down at the waiting patiently basket until I can get to them. I can clearly see that they need me, and they are not disrupting others. I rotate the contents of the box regurally to keep it interesting, and am careful to pick activities that the kids can easily wrap up when I am ready.

 

The waiting basket coupled with quiet time have been critical to taming the chaos around here.

[Ellie]

I feel your pain.

 

What are you using to teach? That can make all the difference in the world.

[FairProspects]

mine go to bed at 6:30 each night, 7 is 'getting to stay up late" and I've been knowns to put them dovn at 6!!! I love my evenings. And YES I mean to sleep.

 

What time do they get up? If I put mine to bed that early, they would wake up at 4-5am! My boys only sleep about 10 hours, even after Tae Kwon Do or hours of bike riding. Do yours really sleep longer than that?

[kathy_overman]

I as read through the replies, I get tears in my eyes. I SO appreciate the support, encouragement, and suggestions.

 

Suffice to say, we made it through the day, and I don't plan on dropping them off at PS tomorrow morning. Instead we will go back to our 'classroom' and try again.

 

I really struggle making a schedule and rules and sticking to them, but I see the need, and the benefit. I tried some quiet time, and it worked. I guess we all need to learn how to live and school together.

 

There is so much more I want to say and ask, but I am too tired, and need to go rest.

 

I will leave with the encouragement I got at the end of the day as to why we are doing this - my 9 yr. old, can be a bit of a bully, to his 7 yr. old brother.

 

I asked them to play outside while I made dinner, and the 9 yr. said/did something very nice for his brother, and then said to me 'see Mom, I am a much nicer person when I don't go to Greenwood.' Yeah, it makes the challenge worth it.

 

I just hope we can find our grove, 'cause I don't do well when I am not in sync. Again, thank you so much for the support. I don't know how I would do this w/o the great advice.

[HS Mom in NC]

So we kind of ended up homeschooling vs. we knew this is what we wanted to do (frankly, we never would have guessed we would HS). We had our kids in PS for 3 years, and this is our 2nd week at home.

 

I am miserable. I miss my alone time.

I consider "me time" and "empty nest syndrome" to by synonyms. Since my kids haven't moved out yet (15,13, and 6 years old) I assume my "me time" will be when they are in bed and my husband isn't needing any attention or when they're doing their own thing in their rooms-which I sometimes require. Otherwise, several times a year my kids go to my mother's for an afternoon (but this is probably true of most people no matter how or where their kids are schooled.)

 

I can't stand constantly being badgered by the kids. They interrupt each other and me all day, the don't get that this is supposed to be work - not a continuation of Summer.

 

You don't have to put up with this-you're their mother. Did they badger you and interrupt you and each other before you started HSing them? If they did, then it's a parenting issue, not a HSing issue. What consequences have there been for this behavior in the past? Are you treating it like summer? What consequences are there when they disobey you about other things? Do you need to come up with some consequences? Have you not been consistently following through with consequences already established?

I just said I quit, and walked out - saying they are going back to PS. I want to send them back to PS. I want my life back.

 

What does that mean? What have you given up that is more important than whatever reason you chose to HS them? HSing is a full-time job (because you're also running a household when you're not doing academics) and you have no way of avoiding interpersonal issues when the kids are home. That's guaranteed to be harder than sending the kids off somewhere else. This IS your life now. You're not "dead" now that you started HSing. You're not some deadbeat who has no life. You have taken on much more and you should expect that to demand more of you.

 

I know there is an adjustment period, but I don't know if I am really committed to this. That said our 2nd grader was the reason we started and really can't go back to PS - he needs to be home.

If you're not fully committed to HSing then it's best not to. Either get fully committed (clarify in detail why you think this is the best option for your kids-write it down and trust your instincts) or come up with an alternative you can live with. It's not fair to the kids and to HSers everywhere to have someone half-hearted dabbling in providing a HS education. It's not fair to you if this isn't really what you want to be doing.

 

Our 3rd grader did well in PS, but loves being at home. Please help .. how do us newbies make it work? I kind of want to make it work, and I want my ME time back. Ugh, so confused

 

My children have been HSed their whole lives, so I can't tell you how to transition. I can tell you that I think it's not a good mental state to be in a brand new job and focusing on what you're going to do on your vacation. I think that might be what you're doing here. I think it's beneficial to view HSing and childrearing with the same pride and dedication as a high powered career. Take what you do seriously. Take yourself seriously. Insist the children and your spouse take you seriously as the teacher. Set a few reasonable goals and work conscientiously to reach them. Let your successes build on each other.

[iamrachelle]

I can tell you that I think it's not a good mental state to be in a brand new job and focusing on what you're going to do on your vacation. I think that might be what you're doing here. I think it's beneficial to view HSing and childrearing with the same pride and dedication as a high powered career. Take what you do seriously. Take yourself seriously. Insist the children and your spouse take you seriously as the teacher. Set a few reasonable goals and work conscientiously to reach them. Let your successes build on each other.

 

I couldn't have said this better. As someone who struggles with the alone/free time issue myself these are sage words of advice. I don't think it's possible to straddle the homeschooling fence effectively. Evaluate why you are homeschooling, make a list so you can refer back to it when you go through a rough spot during the day or ultimately made the decision to put your kiddos back in school and don't second guess yourself. I think the worst thing you can do is flip flop back and forth in whether or not you should homeschool in front of your kids. Start small and be gentle with yourself. Just work on a subject (or two) a day and gradually add in the rest. I have a neighbor that comes over a couple of times during the week in the evenings for some whine and wine. It gives me some much needed adult conversation (my DH is currently deployed) and the chance to unwind with a friend.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Okay, I get that it is a job - when do you make phone calls, schedule things, etc.? Ugh - can you tell just how overwhelmed I am? (excuse typos ... they are once again screaming at each other!) ... no time to re-read.

 

How much school are you doing? You should be able to be done by lunch with those ages. Then the afternoon is yours to schedule things, make phone calls, etc.

 

As a new homeschooler last year, our school days seemed to take a long time at first. As we all settled into our routine and the kids learned to just buckle down and get the work done, our school days shortened dramatically. It took a few weeks, but we got to the point where we were usually done with everything by lunch time.

 

The other thing I remember about my first few weeks as a brand new homeschooler was the MENTAL EXHAUSTION. In fact, I posted here about it and some of the wonderful, seasoned HSers here reassured me that it gets better. And it did. I'm experiencing it again this year, but now that I know that it passes, it doesn't seem so bad, you know?

 

I really just can't reiterate enough that it will most likely get easier. If you decide in the end that you're not cut out for this, that's perfectly fine. But my advice, for what it's worth :D, is to try and stick it out at least another week or two. Someone earlier in this thread pointed out that HSing is really a LIFESTYLE, and I just can't agree with that enough. There is an adjustment period, but in my experience, riding out the adjustment periods has been SO SO SO worth it.

 

:grouphug: Have a hot bath and get some sleep. Tomorrow will be better!

[Kirch]

You've gotten some wonderful advice, so I won't repeat all that. But here's an "aha!" moment I had a couple of years ago. I realized that I was expecting behaviors/actions in certain situations that I had never explicitly taught. My boys were all over the place during our Bible lesson and I was getting so frustrated--and I realized I had never told them what I DID expect them to do. When I sat down with them and showed them the behavior I expected, things improved dramatically (still not perfect--they're little boys!). And then I realized that the same thing was happening in a few other areas. One of the main reasons things flow smoothly (mostly) in PS classrooms is that the teachers spend time teaching expectations and procedures during the first weeks of school.

 

You need to do the same thing. Think ahead through different scenarios. What should your kids do when they need help? When they finish what they're working on? Where should they put their completed work? Where do they need to do their work? and so on. Walk them through it and practice ("When you finish your schoolwork, put your books on the shelf and pencils back in the basket."). Do a lot of reminding and staying on top of them until it becomes habit. As other things come up, decide what your procedure is going to be and teach it to them.

[momma aimee]

What time do they get up? If I put mine to bed that early, they would wake up at 4-5am! My boys only sleep about 10 hours, even after Tae Kwon Do or hours of bike riding. Do yours really sleep longer than that?

 

mine get up at 5:30 or 6. This lets them see Daddy before he leaves, and eat and be ready to hit the books as soon as daddy leaves at ^:30 to 7:30 depending on his day.

 

Mine NEED 11 to 12 hours of sleep or they are impossible.

[myfunnybunch]

As a new homeschooler last year, our school days seemed to take a long time at first. As we all settled into our routine and the kids learned to just buckle down and get the work done, our school days shortened dramatically. It took a few weeks, but we got to the point where we were usually done with everything by lunch time.

 

The other thing I remember about my first few weeks as a brand new homeschooler was the MENTAL EXHAUSTION. In fact, I posted here about it and some of the wonderful, seasoned HSers here reassured me that it gets better. And it did. I'm experiencing it again this year, but now that I know that it passes, it doesn't seem so bad, you know?

 

I really just can't reiterate enough that it will most likely get easier. If you decide in the end that you're not cut out for this, that's perfectly fine. But my advice, for what it's worth :D, is to try and stick it out at least another week or two. Someone earlier in this thread pointed out that HSing is really a LIFESTYLE, and I just can't agree with that enough. There is an adjustment period, but in my experience, riding out the adjustment periods has been SO SO SO worth it.

 

:grouphug: Have a hot bath and get some sleep. Tomorrow will be better!

 

Yes, this.

 

I knew several homeschooling families, so I knew it wouldn't be choas forever. But if I hadn't known them, I'd have panicked at the idea that this is our homeschool?!?!?!?!?!? LOL

 

Hang in there. I love what Kirch posted about realizing the expected behaviors hadn't been taught. I had that aha! too, that I needed to teach how to DO school this new way.

 

Hopefully you got a good night's sleep and feel fresh this morning. It's a new day. :) You will get the hang of it, it just takes a while to find your sea legs.

 

Cat

[TN Mama]

:grouphug: I never dreamed I would homeschool. I also really loved my alone time. My oldest was in 1st grade when I realized she needed to hs. She finished 1st in ps and stayed home for 2nd grade. I sent my youngest to ps K that year because I didn't think I could homeschool both kids.

 

That year my husband was activated with his reserve unit and I was alone. The following year I decided to keep my youngest home too, since we didn't have any of that flexibility hs is so known for. So, that year I kept both girls home and my husband was still gone. We were apart for some of the following year as well, but we've kept on going.

 

Yes, there are days when I want to (and do) cry. Yes, there are days I want to pull my hair out. Yes, there are days I wish I could go to the grocery store alone and not have to wait until dh gets home from work to accomplish that.

 

None of my friends homeschooled and they all thought I was c-r-a-z-y to hs and to spend so much time with my children.

 

You can get through this. You will get tired of being touched, listening to the kids argue and complaining about doing work. But hopefully the things that you will grow to love about the experience will far outweigh the times you want to pull out your hair.

 

Find other people who homeschool (if not irl, this forum definitely helps), make time for yourself and remind yourself of the benefits. :grouphug:

[kathy_overman]

Again, I so appreciate all the good advice and encouragement.

 

I am very happy to report that we had our first good day that did not feel like a complete disaster.

 

I really don't want to quit, and I hope it works. I certainly need to find a routine and structure that works for everyone. I know as we put much of this advice into place things will continue to improve.

 

It is great to hear of others' experiences. Thank you.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Again, I so appreciate all the good advice and encouragement.

 

I am very happy to report that we had our first good day that did not feel like a complete disaster.

 

I really don't want to quit, and I hope it works. I certainly need to find a routine and structure that works for everyone. I know as we put much of this advice into place things will continue to improve.

 

It is great to hear of others' experiences. Thank you.

 

Yay! Glad things are going better!

[Zoo Keeper]

You've gotten some wonderful advice, so I won't repeat all that. But here's an "aha!" moment I had a couple of years ago. I realized that I was expecting behaviors/actions in certain situations that I had never explicitly taught. My boys were all over the place during our Bible lesson and I was getting so frustrated--and I realized I had never told them what I DID expect them to do. When I sat down with them and showed them the behavior I expected, things improved dramatically (still not perfect--they're little boys!). And then I realized that the same thing was happening in a few other areas. One of the main reasons things flow smoothly (mostly) in PS classrooms is that the teachers spend time teaching expectations and procedures during the first weeks of school.

 

You need to do the same thing. Think ahead through different scenarios. What should your kids do when they need help? When they finish what they're working on? Where should they put their completed work? Where do they need to do their work? and so on. Walk them through it and practice ("When you finish your schoolwork, put your books on the shelf and pencils back in the basket."). Do a lot of reminding and staying on top of them until it becomes habit. As other things come up, decide what your procedure is going to be and teach it to them.

 

 

:iagree: This is so, so, true. Very good advice.

[CalicoKat]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Week 3 is upon us. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Praying this week goes better for you!

[Crimson Wife]

One thing I do is keep some DVD documentaries on hand from the library related to the topics we're studying in history & science. So if something comes up that I have to take care of right away vs. waiting until after school is over, I just pop in the DVD and go in the other room to make the phone call(s). We don't have cable/satellite and don't get any broadcast reception so I don't feel guilty about the screen time.