I do believe I will never fit in

[Nakia]

to homeschool groups. Most of the ones around here are very conservative. I guess am not conservative enough (it might be the tattoos and nose ring, lol). We tried out another one this past Friday, and the only moms who talked to me, of their own accord, are the two that I knew already. I tried to start conversations with several other moms, and all I got was one word answers and then they walked away.

 

There are probably less conservative groups in Asheville, but that is 40 minutes away. It's not that I feel like we must be in a group, but I would like to be...sometimes...I think... And I would like to not be judged for loving Harry Potter, wearing jeans, and having piercings and ink.

 

I have a hard time fitting in anyway. I'm quirky. I'm different. I do fit in at church simply because my church is so diverse and open minded. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just needed to lament for a minute. Thanks for reading.

[Impish]

:grouphug:

I'd hang out with you anytime :grouphug:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I feel ya.

 

I'm the same way. I was at a friend's house one night picking her up to go to a local homeschooling mom's night out. I said,"ARE YA READY FOR THE JUDGMENT?!" and she said,"is that really how you feel about going to these?" I told her I did. She said,"Let's just hang out here, then!" So we did. She later saw my youngest child being born in my backyard. I knew that someone who was that cool, that REAL would be welcome so close to my naked nether region. :D

[BridgeTea]

:iagree:What Imp said.

 

Sorry to hear of people walking away without getting to know you.

[AuntieM]

Sorry, Nakia. That's just not the way things should be.

 

And I agree with Imp. :grouphug:

[newlifemom]

Nakia,

 

You would fit in to my own personal homeschool group. I would take you to my support group and say, "This is my friend Nakia and she homeschools and loves the Lord. Anybody have a problem with that?" :boxing_smiley:

 

 

:D

 

I think you are cool and while we may not always agree on homeschooling, theological, math, vaccinating, shopping cart issues, I like you, I really like you.

 

So . . . all you gotta do is move across the country. :tongue_smilie:

 

[i might even listen to Lady Gaga with you and watch whatever it is your boyfriend does]

[Nakia]

I love how you girls just get me!!!! I would love to hang with any of y'all!!

[NanceXToo]

Aw. I wish you lived close enough to join mine!

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Ummmm, NO, sorry, but if she is moving clear across the country she is stopping at Oklahoma! :toetap05:

[AuntieM]

Nakia,

 

You would fit in to my own personal homeschool group. I would take you to my support group and say, "This is my friend Nakia and she homeschools and loves the Lord. Anybody have a problem with that?" :boxing_smiley:

 

:D

I think you are cool and while we may not always agree on homeschooling, theological, math, vaccinating, shopping cart issues, I like you, I really like you.

 

So . . . all you gotta do is move across the country. :tongue_smilie:

 

[i might even listen to Lady Gaga with you and watch whatever it is your boyfriend does]

 

That is about the nicest thing a friend could say. Way to go, newlifemom!

[Daisy]

to homeschool groups. Most of the ones around here are very conservative. I guess am not conservative enough (it might be the tattoos and nose ring, lol). We tried out another one this past Friday, and the only moms who talked to me, of their own accord, are the two that I knew already. I tried to start conversations with several other moms, and all I got was one word answers and then they walked away.

 

There are probably less conservative groups in Asheville, but that is 40 minutes away. It's not that I feel like we must be in a group, but I would like to be...sometimes...I think... And I would like to not be judged for loving Harry Potter, wearing jeans, and having piercings and ink.

 

I have a hard time fitting in anyway. I'm quirky. I'm different. I do fit in at church simply because my church is so diverse and open minded. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just needed to lament for a minute. Thanks for reading.

 

Are you sure it is your tattoos and nose rings? Honestly, I've been a member of the same homeschool group for six years now. It has taken YEARS for me to get to the point where people will include me in the conversation.

 

The first year I literally sat on a blanket at park day and planted my nose in a book because I couldn't get anyone to carry on a conversation with me. The only reason I kept going was because my kids enjoyed it. I'm not saying it is right. It is just the way it is.

 

Homeschool groups are a tough nut to crack. Most of them have been buddies since their kids were in kindergarten and they just don't appear very outgoing and friendly. It can take a LONG time and a serious commitment to just sticking it out before you feel like you belong.

 

Most people give up which is exactly why we'll have a ton of people show up at the first park day and then they never come again.

[Starr]

It might be worth a drive once a week. You must be able to find someone in Asheville that gets you! :D Or start heading north young lady...

[Lacie]

And I would like to not be judged for loving Harry Potter, wearing jeans, and having piercings and ink.

 

I do not like Harry Potter... but I am don't think anything bad about those who do. I wear jeans everyday, used to have piercings and would love some ink (and will get some when the time is right and maybe another piercing too). Too bad we can't be in a group (other than the forum). I would love to be in a group with you.

 

I have not tried the group in our town yet. Their statement of faith wasn't something that I felt I could sign and I haven't felt like fighting them on it. It might be worth it, but probably not.

[Nakia]

Nakia,

 

You would fit in to my own personal homeschool group. I would take you to my support group and say, "This is my friend Nakia and she homeschools and loves the Lord. Anybody have a problem with that?" :boxing_smiley:

 

 

:D

 

I think you are cool and while we may not always agree on homeschooling, theological, math, vaccinating, shopping cart issues, I like you, I really like you.

 

So . . . all you gotta do is move across the country. :tongue_smilie:

 

[i might even listen to Lady Gaga with you and watch whatever it is your boyfriend does]

 

I like you too, Pam!! Thank you for being so sweet!!!

[Nakia]

Are you sure it is your tattoos and nose rings? Honestly, I've been a member of the same homeschool group for six years now. It has taken YEARS for me to get to the point where people will include me in the conversation.

 

The first year I literally sat on a blanket at park day and planted my nose in a book because I couldn't get anyone to carry on a conversation with me. The only reason I kept going was because my kids enjoyed it. I'm not saying it is right. It is just the way it is.

 

Homeschool groups are a tough nut to crack. Most of them have been buddies since their kids were in kindergarten and they just don't appear very outgoing and friendly. It can take a LONG time and a serious commitment to just sticking it out before you feel like you belong.

 

Most people give up which is exactly why we'll have a ton of people show up at the first park day and then they never come again.

 

I am not 100% sure. But sometimes you just kinda know.

[newlifemom]

Awwwww shucks! :blushing:

[KungFuPanda]

I feel ya.

 

I knew that someone who was that cool, that REAL would be welcome so close to my naked nether region. :D

 

:lol::lol::lol: Yhe last time I felt that way about a friend I married him!

 

OP. It's clearly not you that's the problem. I had some friends that felt very comfortable in our homeschooling group. They were one of the more conservative families. Imagine their shock when they moved to a more 'conservative' state and were shunned for not being the right 'brand' of conservative. They stayed one year and moved.

 

FWIW, I am currently choreographing a dance to TWO Harry potter songs (Fly like its quiddich and Harry Potter Dubstep) for a troupe of mother-daughter, homeschooling bellydancers :-)

Edited September 8, 2011 by KungFuPanda

[WeeBeaks]

It has taken YEARS for me to get to the point where people will include me in the conversation.

 

The first year I literally sat on a blanket at park day and planted my nose in a book because I couldn't get anyone to carry on a conversation with me. The only reason I kept going was because my kids enjoyed it. I'm not saying it is right. It is just the way it is.

 

This was my experience mainly also. :001_huh: I just gave up after a while and skipped the groups for a couple years. But I had the added problem of an ADHD child who annoyed the heck out of some of the moms.

 

When he had calmed some, I finally started my own group. We have a whopping 5 families, all of us odd balls that didn't fit in other groups. :lol: We're a small group but we have FUN each and every week, both the mom group and the kid group really enjoys everyone else.

 

Maybe it will get better for you though as you come consistently. I hope so. :grouphug:

[Renee in NC]

to homeschool groups. Most of the ones around here are very conservative. I guess am not conservative enough (it might be the tattoos and nose ring, lol). We tried out another one this past Friday, and the only moms who talked to me, of their own accord, are the two that I knew already. I tried to start conversations with several other moms, and all I got was one word answers and then they walked away.

 

There are probably less conservative groups in Asheville, but that is 40 minutes away. It's not that I feel like we must be in a group, but I would like to be...sometimes...I think... And I would like to not be judged for loving Harry Potter, wearing jeans, and having piercings and ink.

 

I have a hard time fitting in anyway. I'm quirky. I'm different. I do fit in at church simply because my church is so diverse and open minded. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just needed to lament for a minute. Thanks for reading.

 

I haven't totally given up on the idea of moving to your area...we could start our own group!:D

[Parker Martin]

Our family was kicked out of a playgroup because the organizer found my political blog, which I had never mentioned, and she didn't want a conservative in the group, even if the person never talked about politics.

 

I won't ever be able to teach in my favorite (so far) homeschool group co-op because I can't sign the statement of faith which includes a belief in the literal six day creation of the universe. (Heh. Maybe that's actually a blessing based on what I've read here about co-ops.)

 

So it goes.

 

When feeling cynical, I'd say that people like to balkanize. When feeling magnanimous, I'd say that people all have their own forms of social goofiness.

 

Mostly though, I'd say that people are generally pretty nice, even if they take a bit of time to warm up.

[Nakia]

I haven't totally given up on the idea of moving to your area...we could start our own group!:D

 

 

:party:

[Nakia]

Our family was kicked out of a playgroup because the organizer found my political blog, which I had never mentioned, and she didn't want a conservative in the group, even if the person never talked about politics.

 

I won't ever be able to teach in my favorite (so far) homeschool group co-op because I can't sign the statement of faith which includes a belief in the literal six day creation of the universe. (Heh. Maybe that's actually a blessing based on what I've read here about co-ops.)

 

So it goes.

 

When feeling cynical, I'd say that people like to balkanize. When feeling magnanimous, I'd say that people all have their own forms of social goofiness.

 

Mostly though, I'd say that people are generally pretty nice, even if they take a bit of time to warm up.

 

I haven't met a SOF yet that I could agree with 100%. So, I haven't signed any. Meh.

[Stacia]

Maybe if you took Alexander along they'd be flocking around you? ;):lol:

 

Sorry, though. I feel your pain. :grouphug: It's not easy. Wish you were closer & we could hang out. :001_smile:

 

ETA: Totally agreeing w/ you on the SOF. Ugh.

[Parker Martin]

Are you sure it is your tattoos and nose rings? Honestly, I've been a member of the same homeschool group for six years now. It has taken YEARS for me to get to the point where people will include me in the conversation.

 

I've heard the same about a lot of groups where I live. And I agree; I don't think the people are being mean. I think they just have a lot of longtime friendships within the group.

 

I just persistently show up and pull out some extroversion. Eventually you win them over. :001_smile:

[elegantlion]

I can't seem to crack the groups either. I also have low self-esteem and usually go home second guessing everything I did or said and realizing my child will be unsocialized because of my stupid public school experience (<-- that's sarcasm). Then when the boy pleads to not go back because no one talked to him either, I'm a pushover.

 

So we don't do groups, we're hermits and have our internet friends. We're finding our way, it just won't be on the road well traveled.

 

Be of good cheer and hang out with the people who get the boyfriend thing.

 

I'd belong to your group. Once transporters are invented homeschooling will much easier.

[Samiam]

Ha, not much better in Asheville, sorry to say. Although it might be the hippy mecca of the Southeast, it seems most of the HS groups are purely Christian, straight and narrow. Not sure where those hippyish, let's all be friends-type Homeschoolers are, there has got to be some, but they haven't formed any groups, at least none that I found when I lived there last year. I assume they have their own little pockets of the area where they do things together, and just do not spread the word like the other HS groups do.

 

I have experienced similiar situations as to what you describe......really stinks that some are so judgemental.

[regentrude]

I hear you. I know I will never really fit. Not conservative enough for the majority of local homeschoolers. Too academic for the other homeschool group which consists largely of unschoolers.

We still attend playgroup so my son can meet his friends. I don't have real friends in the group - not their fault, they are friendly, but we don't have anything in common.

[8circles]

My groups are similar. I've found a few like-minded (or like-tolerant) homeschoolers but it'd be nice to not be afraid to join groups.

 

I'd hang with you in a heartbeat.

[Nakia]

I don't think people were being mean to me. I'm sure they are very nice people. I'm pretty sure the only things we have in common are that we are Christians and we homeschool. I wish that were enough, but when someone has themselves trapped inside a box, they can't always see what's outside the box. And I am ALWAYS outside the box, lol. I don't think they would ever understand about Alex and me. ;)

 

It's okay, really. We have a wonderful church with lots of friends. I have you all. I'm good.

[*lifeoftheparty*]

to homeschool groups. Most of the ones around here are very conservative. I guess am not conservative enough (it might be the tattoos and nose ring, lol). We tried out another one this past Friday, and the only moms who talked to me, of their own accord, are the two that I knew already. I tried to start conversations with several other moms, and all I got was one word answers and then they walked away.

 

There are probably less conservative groups in Asheville, but that is 40 minutes away. It's not that I feel like we must be in a group, but I would like to be...sometimes...I think... And I would like to not be judged for loving Harry Potter, wearing jeans, and having piercings and ink.

 

I have a hard time fitting in anyway. I'm quirky. I'm different. I do fit in at church simply because my church is so diverse and open minded. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just needed to lament for a minute. Thanks for reading.

 

You would fit in perfectly in our Classical Conversations group :) Move to Maryland ;)

[Impish]

Maybe they're just jealous about Alex, and all the feti with peni you're gestating!

[Mrs Mungo]

You could make the trek to Raleigh when we have the next meeting of the well trained minds. We are quite the island of misfit toys. It was fun!!!

[obsidian]

Maybe they're just jealous about Alex, and all the feti with peni you're gestating!

 

:lol:

[Pretty in Pink]

I'd hang out with you anytime, Nakia. And I'll see your Alex and raise you a Kevin Costner! ;)

[Impish]

You could make the trek to Raleigh when we have the next meeting of the well trained minds. We are quite the island of misfit toys. It was fun!!!

Oh! Oh! I wanna come! I'm a misfit too!

[Food4Thought]

I don't think people were being mean to me. I'm sure they are very nice people. I'm pretty sure the only things we have in common are that we are Christians and we homeschool. I wish that were enough, but when someone has themselves trapped inside a box, they can't always see what's outside the box. And I am ALWAYS outside the box, lol. I don't think they would ever understand about Alex and me. ;)

 

It's okay, really. We have a wonderful church with lots of friends. I have you all. I'm good.

 

I gave up looking for a homeschool group and joined an Artist's Way/Writer's group. The rest of the weirdos in my group make quirky little me look like a die-hard conservative. :D Forget being outside of the box - it's time to upcycle that box into something better.

[Calm37]

to homeschool groups. Most of the ones around here are very conservative. I guess am not conservative enough (it might be the tattoos and nose ring, lol). We tried out another one this past Friday, and the only moms who talked to me, of their own accord, are the two that I knew already. I tried to start conversations with several other moms, and all I got was one word answers and then they walked away.

 

There are probably less conservative groups in Asheville, but that is 40 minutes away. It's not that I feel like we must be in a group, but I would like to be...sometimes...I think... And I would like to not be judged for loving Harry Potter, wearing jeans, and having piercings and ink.

 

I have a hard time fitting in anyway. I'm quirky. I'm different. I do fit in at church simply because my church is so diverse and open minded. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just needed to lament for a minute. Thanks for reading.

 

I am just wondering if there might be other opportunities to get to know the moms in the co-op. I know that our co-op is a terrible place to get to know people. Everyone is sort of "on mission" if you know what I mean. I have gone there many times and not talked to anyone except for the co-teacher of my class. I have often thought on those days what a terrible place it would be for new people who might not feel secure in the group.

 

We have other social times, field trips, picnics, etc., where it is much easier to get to know people.

 

Blessings,

[Nakia]

I am just wondering if there might be other opportunities to get to know the moms in the co-op. I know that our co-op is a terrible place to get to know people. Everyone is sort of "on mission" if you know what I mean. I have gone there many times and not talked to anyone except for the co-teacher of my class. I have often thought on those days what a terrible place it would be for new people who might not feel secure in the group.

 

We have other social times, field trips, picnics, etc., where it is much easier to get to know people.

 

Blessings,

 

It was a field trip and then we went to the park for a picnic. :/

Edited September 8, 2011 by Nakia

[LibraryLover]

You would like our group. I went to our support group the other night and we are soooooooooo motley! Jeans are the uniform and we are nice. (I have to say my uniform is a skort...I hate the feeling of fabric around the bottom of my legs. I am not a winter person-- and one of the reasons is because the clothing is demanding, sensory-wise! Less is best! lol)

 

Hang in there! There must be some nice folks somewhere?!

Edited September 8, 2011 by LibraryLover

[QueenCat]

I'd hang out with you..... and have felt the same way many times.

[*Inna*]

:grouphug:, Nakia. I know how it feels. It seems that homeschoolers are very choosy of what kind of people are worth their time. On one hand, I understand this, but on the other hand I wish people were nicer to newbies...

FWIW, I am currently choreographing a dance to TWO Harry potter songs (Fly like its quiddich and Harry Potter Dubstep) for a troupe of mother-daughter, homeschooling bellydancers :-)

Now, this is seriously awesome! :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

Are you sure it is your tattoos and nose rings? Honestly, I've been a member of the same homeschool group for six years now. It has taken YEARS for me to get to the point where people will include me in the conversation.

 

The first year I literally sat on a blanket at park day and planted my nose in a book because I couldn't get anyone to carry on a conversation with me. The only reason I kept going was because my kids enjoyed it. I'm not saying it is right. It is just the way it is.

 

Homeschool groups are a tough nut to crack. Most of them have been buddies since their kids were in kindergarten and they just don't appear very outgoing and friendly. It can take a LONG time and a serious commitment to just sticking it out before you feel like you belong.

 

Most people give up which is exactly why we'll have a ton of people show up at the first park day and then they never come again.

 

I had exactly the same problem at the only one I ever went to. In my case the kids were shut out too so we quit going.

[PhotoGal]

I've had the same problem. We tried going to a homeschool park day a couple of times and really got the vibe that the other parents / kids didn't want us there. Don't they remember being a newbie too?

 

Around here the homeschoolers seem to either be for religious reasons or ultra-hippie type. We are not religious, so we can't join those groups. And the utra-hippie type are not really welcoming, either (they are judging our snacks, telling us our wi fi is going to give the kids cancer, that gymnastics will give my daughter anorexia, etc.). Yeah, so we don't really fit in. :(

[YLVD]

to homeschool groups. Most of the ones around here are very conservative. I guess am not conservative enough (it might be the tattoos and nose ring, lol). We tried out another one this past Friday, and the only moms who talked to me, of their own accord, are the two that I knew already. I tried to start conversations with several other moms, and all I got was one word answers and then they walked away.

 

There are probably less conservative groups in Asheville, but that is 40 minutes away. It's not that I feel like we must be in a group, but I would like to be...sometimes...I think... And I would like to not be judged for loving Harry Potter, wearing jeans, and having piercings and ink.

 

I have a hard time fitting in anyway. I'm quirky. I'm different. I do fit in at church simply because my church is so diverse and open minded. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just needed to lament for a minute. Thanks for reading.

 

I'm in a super liberal area and I'm a quirky, liberal Atheist. I never found a group that I could belong to.

[Soror]

Are you sure it is your tattoos and nose rings? Honestly, I've been a member of the same homeschool group for six years now. It has taken YEARS for me to get to the point where people will include me in the conversation.

 

The first year I literally sat on a blanket at park day and planted my nose in a book because I couldn't get anyone to carry on a conversation with me. The only reason I kept going was because my kids enjoyed it. I'm not saying it is right. It is just the way it is.

 

Homeschool groups are a tough nut to crack. Most of them have been buddies since their kids were in kindergarten and they just don't appear very outgoing and friendly. It can take a LONG time and a serious commitment to just sticking it out before you feel like you belong.

 

Most people give up which is exactly why we'll have a ton of people show up at the first park day and then they never come again.

That is exactly how it is here, the ones that have been around could care less about being friendly to people. I'm in the 3rd year or so of this group here and there is still a core group that has their own thing, I've just made my own group with people I actually like.

 

We don't have any tatoos(that I've seen) or piercings but the women aren't that conservative, women wear shorts and pants and not all are super fundamentalists.

[JudyJudyJudy]

Oh, Nakia, I'm so sorry. I wish you lived near me. You would fit so well into our homeschool group. (Then again, I have to drive 35-40 minutes to get to mine, too.)

[JudyJudyJudy]

I'm in a super liberal area and I'm a quirky, liberal Atheist. I never found a group that I could belong to.

I'm a liberal atheist in a conservative area. I'm lucky to have found the group we're in, which is why I'm willing to drive a ways to get to it.

[Chris in VA]

Nakie,

 

I don't like piercings, I think tats are ugly...LOL ;)

 

But honey, you make me feel safe.

 

You are someone who I think I could listen to forever.

 

You are wise.

 

You have that quirky sense of humor that gets my not-so-proper-sometimes jokes.

 

You are very kind.

 

You have been where I've been with head issues.

 

You would be the most awesome friend, and I hope we get to meet someday on this side, but if not, I'm looking forward to seeing you There.

 

I heart you.

 

And I just realized I've given you a new nickname! LOL:grouphug:

[Lizzie in Ma]

to homeschool groups. Most of the ones around here are very conservative. I guess am not conservative enough (it might be the tattoos and nose ring, lol). We tried out another one this past Friday, and the only moms who talked to me, of their own accord, are the two that I knew already. I tried to start conversations with several other moms, and all I got was one word answers and then they walked away.

 

There are probably less conservative groups in Asheville, but that is 40 minutes away. It's not that I feel like we must be in a group, but I would like to be...sometimes...I think... And I would like to not be judged for loving Harry Potter, wearing jeans, and having piercings and ink.

 

I have a hard time fitting in anyway. I'm quirky. I'm different. I do fit in at church simply because my church is so diverse and open minded. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just needed to lament for a minute. Thanks for reading.

 

You'd fit in ours, wish you were close by. :grouphug:

[NanceXToo]

Nakia, maybe you should start your own homeschool group, just like a social group for field trips, tours, social gatherings, etc, and see how that goes. Describe it as an inclusive kind of thing with members with different educational, religious, and life philosophies, and maybe you'll meet others who feel like they just don't fit in.

 

Mine works out great. I'm secular/jewish, I have tattoos (my husband owns a tattoo shop), I'm a relaxed homeschooler, and I'm managing to share a group with unschoolers and classical schoolers, and the majority of them are Christian but it just doesn't come up because we're not there for religion, we're there for the field trip to the zoo, the day at the park, the board game day, the kickball day, the summer picnic, the walking club, the tour of the courthouse, and so on and so forth. Everyone is friendly, chatty, the kids play and have fun, nobody cares what somebody else's religion is, or what style of homeschooling they are into, or if they have tattoos (several of us do, a lot of us don't), etc... I love it.

 

Would every single one of us get together outside of homeschool group events? No. But there are a couple we DO get together with outside of them, who we just clicked with, and that works fine for me. The others are friendly acquaintances who enjoy chatting when we're together in the group, with things in common because of homeschooling and parenting if nothing else, you know what I mean?

 

Yes, there were one or two who inquired about our group, and didn't choose to join or stay and I think it was because they WERE looking for something more conservative or religious, and that was fine if that was what they wanted. Most though seemed really glad to have a mostly secular, social, accepting group. You may find other takers, too, even though it might take a while to get started.