love2read Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I just go an invitation on facebook from a first time mother who is giving herself a baby shower. She has friends and family in town who could do this. I'm not sure what is up with this, but it rubs me the wrong way. We have a very large circle of church friends, of which she is a member, but we were not invited to the wedding or backyard reception. I'm planning on going to the shower, but can't help but wonder if this is a new trend or if this girl didn't listen to her mother who is nicely cultured ;) and knows better. What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd go to the shower and help her welcome her first beautiful baby. The behind-the-scenes hows and whys of the shower wouldn't concern me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd go to the shower and help her welcome her first beautiful baby. The behind-the-scenes hows and whys of the shower wouldn't concern me. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoforjoy Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd go. I think it's a shame that none of her friends or family are throwing the shower for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd go. I think it's a shame that none of her friends or family are throwing the shower for her. :iagree:There's really no way to know what's going on behind the scenes so even though it is unconventional and maybe would even be considered rude, I would still want to be a support for the mom and the baby. New moms need all the help they can get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd go to the shower and help her welcome her first beautiful baby. The behind-the-scenes hows and whys of the shower wouldn't concern me. :iagree:I think I am getting old, because this stuff just doesn't bug me anymore. Celebrating a baby that is what is important! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd go. I think it's a shame that none of her friends or family are throwing the shower for her. :iagree: How trashy that none of her family or friends threw her a shower! I'd definitely go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Must be some kind of new trend. This is the second thread within weeks asking about new moms throwing themselves baby showers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I just go an invitation on facebook from a first time mother who is giving herself a baby shower. She has friends and family in town who could do this. I'm not sure what is up with this, but it rubs me the wrong way. We have a very large circle of church friends, of which she is a member, but we were not invited to the wedding or backyard reception. I'm planning on going to the shower, but can't help but wonder if this is a new trend or if this girl didn't listen to her mother who is nicely cultured ;) and knows better. What would you do? When I was having my second, my new church (which was very small) wanted to throw me a welcome baby shower. A week before the shower, they decided it was to be a joint-shower for both me and a single, teen mother-to-be (who did not attend the church, but was the daughter of one of the women throwing the shower). Honestly, I felt a little put out, but didn't say anything, and said it was absolutely fine. And it was. And I'm glad the girl got to have something to help her out and enjoy in a situation that was far less ideal than mine. It gave me a new perspective on showers, I think. Go, rejoice with your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love2read Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 Must be some kind of new trend. This is the second thread within weeks asking about new moms throwing themselves baby showers. That's what I was wondering because her family and friends would throw her a party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntPol Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I never had a baby shower for either of my kids. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoforjoy Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 That's what I was wondering because her family and friends would throw her a party. Is it possible that they are throwing the shower, but she's using her FB account to issue the invites because all of her friends are on that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 It isn't a new trend; Miss Manners addresses this in her first book, which was written in the early 80s, so it's something that people have done for at least 30 years. That doesn't make it right. :glare: I don't know whether I'd go or not. Ok, probably I would, but I'd be chafing inside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I don't know whether I'd go or not. Ok, probably I would, but I'd be chafing inside. But why would you let something silly like this ruin a perfectly good party for you? Babies are fun to celebrate regardless of who is throwing the party, right? :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) I'm planning on going to the shower, but can't help but wonder if this is a new trend or if this girl didn't listen to her mother who is nicely cultured ;) and knows better. What would you do? If her mother is nicely cultured, why isn't she throwing the shower? It honestly makes me sad that no one is throwing a shower for her. :( Edited September 2, 2011 by OH_Homeschooler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd got for a first time mom, or some other special circumstances but I had a friend who threw herself one for her third baby :glare: and I would not go to one like that. Thats just plain rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I never had a baby shower for either of my kids. :( :grouphug: that stinks!!! Im sorry. Everyone should have a shower for their first baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 This sort of stuff doesn't bother me At All. If you were going to go to any shower thrown for her, then go. If you weren't going to go to any shower thrown for her, then don't go. Don't worry about who is throwing the shower. Go based on whether or not you were planning on getting her a baby shower gift, not on who hosts. Also, if she's hosting it herself, it probably means that she's buying/coordinating the food and decorations and flatware, etc, so she's putting out a bit of money for the party. The guests can bring a gift and everyone can call it even. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoforjoy Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd got for a first time mom, or some other special circumstances but I had a friend who threw herself one for her third baby :glare: and I would not go to one like that. Thats just plain rude. Why? I'm genuinely curious, because I considered throwing a shower for myself with my second and third (I didn't). I didn't have a shower with my first--I was in grad school, away from my family, and wasn't really close enough to anybody yet where they would have taken it on themselves to throw me a shower--and I do kind of feel like I missed out. I didn't want presents, and would have indicated that, but I thought it would be fun to have a party with my friends and play silly games and eat hors d'oeuvres to celebrate the new baby coming. I didn't end up doing it because I figured people would think it was rude, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope in God Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Maybe she wanted to throw the shower to welcome her baby into the world sort of like a 0th birthday party. If it is a first baby I would go but if it were for a third I'm not sure. For a while there were numerous births every month in our extended group of friends and it would have been quite a strain to have to go a shower for every birth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Why? I'm genuinely curious, because I considered throwing a shower for myself with my second and third (I didn't). I didn't have a shower with my first--I was in grad school, away from my family, and wasn't really close enough to anybody yet where they would have taken it on themselves to throw me a shower--and I do kind of feel like I missed out. I didn't want presents, and would have indicated that, but I thought it would be fun to have a party with my friends and play silly games and eat hors d'oeuvres to celebrate the new baby coming. I didn't end up doing it because I figured people would think it was rude, though. I think we had this discussion awhile back and if I remember correctly it is considered rude in certain parts of the country. Personally, I don't get it. I was thrown showers for all my babies, so it truly baffels me. I think all babies should be celebrated!!! If they can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Why? I'm genuinely curious, because I considered throwing a shower for myself with my second and third (I didn't). I didn't have a shower with my first--I was in grad school, away from my family, and wasn't really close enough to anybody yet where they would have taken it on themselves to throw me a shower--and I do kind of feel like I missed out. I didn't want presents, and would have indicated that, but I thought it would be fun to have a party with my friends and play silly games and eat hors d'oeuvres to celebrate the new baby coming. I didn't end up doing it because I figured people would think it was rude, though. I guess I should have went into more details....the invites said "Bring a pack of diapers for my diaper shower." I could see a baby party between close friends or family with no gifts expected....to specify the gift wanted and knowing the intentions of the party, I thought it was rude. For my last 2 babies we just got together after they were born and had a little "come and see my baby party." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I guess I should have went into more details....the invites said "Bring a pack of diapers for my diaper shower." I could see a baby party between close friends or family with no gifts expected....to specify the gift wanted and knowing the intentions of the party, I thought it was rude. For my last 2 babies we just got together after they were born and had a little "come and see my baby party." :blink: Wow, that is BEYOND rude! That's a gift grab. "Bring a pack of diapers"???? Emily Post just rolled over in her grave. As did my grandmother. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 If her mother is nicely cultured, why isn't she throwing the shower? It honestly makes me sad that no one is throwing a shower for her. :( Because showers are not given by family members, that's why. She could give a tea in honor of her dd, though. It's splitting hairs, but it's still acceptable. Yes, it is sad that no one is giving her a shower. :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I think that if I were her friend you couldn't keep me from going :lol: How wonderful and CONGRATULATIONS :party: to her! If it takes this much consideration, though, I might worry that I would be a damper on the festivities, in which case I might just send a card. Why? I'm genuinely curious, because I considered throwing a shower for myself with my second and third (I didn't). I didn't have a shower with my first--I was in grad school, away from my family, and wasn't really close enough to anybody yet where they would have taken it on themselves to throw me a shower--and I do kind of feel like I missed out. I didn't want presents, and would have indicated that, but I thought it would be fun to have a party with my friends and play silly games and eat hors d'oeuvres to celebrate the new baby coming. I didn't end up doing it because I figured people would think it was rude, though. :iagree: I think sometimes the point is missed, because people worry so much about the manners involved. I like manners, but I think it's good that some of them are being cast off. How crazy to think that a mother-to-be is not allowed to celebrate the new life inside of her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 How crazy to think that a mother-to-be is not allowed to celebrate the new life inside of her! But, I don't think anyone has an issue with celebrating the baby. It's the asking for gifts that's the issue. One could easily hold a celebration without gifts. Likewise, one can easily receive gifts without asking for them - people tend to send gifts when the baby is born anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I have no real opinion about the shower itself, but I think that as a general rule, if you are at all annoyed about an invitation, it's best not to attend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 But, I don't think anyone has an issue with celebrating the baby. It's the asking for gifts that's the issue. One could easily hold a celebration without gifts. Likewise, one can easily receive gifts without asking for them - people tend to send gifts when the baby is born anyway. The op never mentioned gifts. She said she recieved an invitation to a baby shower. Now, if the invitation came saying something like, "Don't forget to stop by Target and buy a few things from my registry!" then I would agree it was tacky. I don't even think the diaper party was tacky. I see the humor in that invitation and, imo, it almost seems like the lady was saying, "Don't bother buying all the expensive odds and ends, we're set for everything but diapers." But then, I think jokes like that are funny :shrug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Yes, I find it tacky. However, I would examine the situation. Does she need help financially? Is that why she is giving herself the shower? Is her family not involved in her life? If I really didn't want to go, but felt she needed the help, I would be sure to get a gift to her. I think (my opinion and only mine) the more these kinds of situations creep up, if we don't say something to young people in our life about how tacky or inappropriate they are, they will continue on with these kinds of events. Someone needs to say, nope, this is not right. And I am going out there and saying it to my kiddoes at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I have no real opinion about the shower itself, but I think that as a general rule, if you are at all annoyed about an invitation, it's best not to attend. :iagree: Partaking in the offered food and drink and pretending to enjoy the company while keeping the 'rudeness' of the invitation in the back of one's mind...well, that's just rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in VA Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 The op never mentioned gifts. She said she recieved an invitation to a baby shower. Now, if the invitation came saying something like, "Don't forget to stop by Target and buy a few things from my registry!" then I would agree it was tacky. I don't even think the diaper party was tacky. I see the humor in that invitation and, imo, it almost seems like the lady was saying, "Don't bother buying all the expensive odds and ends, we're set for everything but diapers." But then, I think jokes like that are funny :shrug: :iagree: I thought the diaper thing was funny. I would have read it exactly like this - don't bother with all the paraphernalia - we just need diapers. But back to the OP - I'm confused by a few comments. Clearly the OP is of the opinion the mom-to-be shouldn't throw one because someone in her life should do it for her (but clearly isn't). But then farther down someone else says that family members don't throwbaby showers. So who exactly is supposed to? I never had a baby shower but it seems to me that it's perfectly fine to throw a party for your impending baby. You will have birthday parties for them someday and you threw your own wedding right? Both events would imply gift giving. If the invitation offends, then don't go, but it doesn't seem to me that it's out of line. Heather PS - now I recently saw a movie that had a insemination party for someone about to have fertility treatments. I seriously hope that isn't a real trend :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 You know what is tacky? Sitting around waiting for someone in today's society to be happy about your baby. That is tacky. put on your big girl panties and get over all those old rules. I always ask for diapers. I use cloth and love having disposables for those first few sleepless nights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 The op never mentioned gifts. She said she recieved an invitation to a baby shower. Now, if the invitation came saying something like, "Don't forget to stop by Target and buy a few things from my registry!" then I would agree it was tacky. I don't even think the diaper party was tacky. I see the humor in that invitation and, imo, it almost seems like the lady was saying, "Don't bother buying all the expensive odds and ends, we're set for everything but diapers." But then, I think jokes like that are funny :shrug: When you call a get together a shower you imply gifts. If she wanted a party just to celebrate she could have called it many things and have been perfectly fine etiquette-wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) I'd go. I think it's a shame that none of her friends or family are throwing the shower for her. :iagree: I would go and bring diapers. I wouldn't think "rude!" I would think, "Oh, diapers are easy...I don't have to shop that way" Edited September 2, 2011 by Sis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 The op never mentioned gifts. She said she recieved an invitation to a baby shower. "shower" = shower with gifts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Showering the baby, not the mother, if that was what was intended. However, words like "shower" get thrown around quite a bit with the person speaking having no idea what is implied. I recently attended two bridal showers, thrown by the brides, and when asked where they were registered they answered the county where they were to be wed :p They didn't know. They just knew that all the parties for brides are called "showers." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slojo's Homeschool Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'm new to this board, but will throw in my two cents anyway. I wouldn't see this as necessarily tacky. I think that there are ways in which society has changed/is changing. Maybe no one has stepped forward and said, "I'll throw you a shower." I could imagine quite a few young women, in particular, in that situation. So I'm not certain that the etiquette misstep is on the young woman herself. If anything, if I were even remotely in her circle of friends or acquaintances, I would privately call her and ask if she needed any help in throwing the shower, and if I was in the position to, I'd offer to play host/organize activities so she didn't have to do it on her own (if that was indeed the case). On the gifts thing - I find the whole thing silly. You're not supposed to directly ask for gifts, but many if not most people have a registry anyway that some "secret elf" is supposed to separately whisper to everyone on the guest list anyway? I think there must be *polite* ways to make your needs known without going through the pretense. I think there are ways to give people an out since it is socially expected to bring something and most people do. We did something like this for our wedding - gave people guidance and "permission" to bring no gifts at all because at 30 when I married, both my husband and I had already obtained the items you need to run a household and it would have seemed tacky to try to get "shiny, new stuff" just because we were getting married. I think it helped a lot -- and every one ended up giving us something, but with better guidance since we didn't have a registry for them to turn to. I don't know, I tend to think that the etiquette of the past only holds value if it makes sense for the current times or situation. And in we are living in increasingly isolated situations where sometimes you just don't have anyone who will step in to do these traditional things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I never had a baby shower for either of my kids. :( Have a surprise 3rd, LOL! I never had a shower with DD or DS, but my friends decided I needed one this time. I'm sure there are people who would find it tacky I'm having a shower for my 3rd, but I'm so happy my friends are supportive. We'd already given away all of our baby stuff from our first two. And I'm crazy excited about actually having a shower (not for the stuff, but for the party). :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I don't think I would attend unless my absence would cause problems for DH's business or repercussions within my extended family. If I would have given a gift anyway I would still do so. Babies are wonderful and should be celebrated and a baby shower is not required to do this. A baby shower will not make labor shorter, the baby's apgar score higher, or improve the odds of a safe delivery. A baby shower will not lessen the incidence of colic, sleepless nights, dirty diapers, or nursing woes following delivery. A baby shower is an opportunity for those who are so inclined to gather at one place, at one time, and say, "welcome to motherhood- here are some gifts to celebrate." A baby shower is a nicety not a necessity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I didn't have a shower for either of mine and didn't really think anything of it at the time. And of course, there is no shower for foster children. And *we* will probably throw a "come celebrate with us" party after the adoption. Of course, we're not going to ask for gifts. (however, if someone wouldn't mind telling me...a friend just finalized the adoption of a sibling group. They are having a party in a month. Do people generally bring gifts for those? For the kids? for the parents?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'm new to this board' date=' but will throw in my two cents anyway. I wouldn't see this as necessarily tacky. I think that there are ways in which society has changed/is changing. Maybe no one has stepped forward and said, "I'll throw you a shower." I could imagine quite a few young women, in particular, in that situation. So I'm not certain that the etiquette misstep is on the young woman herself. If anything, if I were even remotely in her circle of friends or acquaintances, I would privately call her and ask if she needed any help in throwing the shower, and if I was in the position to, I'd offer to play host/organize activities so she didn't have to do it on her own (if that was indeed the case). On the gifts thing - I find the whole thing silly. You're not supposed to directly ask for gifts, but many if not most people have a registry anyway that some "secret elf" is supposed to separately whisper to everyone on the guest list anyway? I think there must be *polite* ways to make your needs known without going through the pretense. I think there are ways to give people an out since it is socially expected to bring something and most people do. We did something like this for our wedding - gave people guidance and "permission" to bring no gifts at all because at 30 when I married, both my husband and I had already obtained the items you need to run a household and it would have seemed tacky to try to get "shiny, new stuff" just because we were getting married. I think it helped a lot -- and every one ended up giving us something, but with better guidance since we didn't have a registry for them to turn to. [b'] I don't know, I tend to think that the etiquette of the past only holds value if it makes sense for the current times or situation. And in we are living in increasingly isolated situations where sometimes you just don't have anyone who will step in to do these traditional things.[/b] Great post but I especially love the bolded. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I didn't have a shower for either of mine and didn't really think anything of it at the time. And of course, there is no shower for foster children. And *we* will probably throw a "come celebrate with us" party after the adoption. Of course, we're not going to ask for gifts. (however, if someone wouldn't mind telling me...a friend just finalized the adoption of a sibling group. They are having a party in a month. Do people generally bring gifts for those? For the kids? for the parents?) Anything involving the celebration of kids, I'd bring something for the kids. I don't know what the etiquette is. It's just fun to give kids a present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
domestic_engineer Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 If attending the shower will have you grumbling on the inside, just give a shower gift at another time outside of the shower ... or with the arrival of the baby. Then you can be a cheerful giver! (All this assumes you were planning on giving her a shower gift to begin with.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd probably think it was a little "off" at first, having never received such an invitation. (The showers I've been invited to have all been thrown by the woman's friend or even sister or mom.) But I'd probably shrug, pick up some diapers (and maybe a little extra something if finances allowed, or I'd knit up a little hat or toy), and call to ask if I could bring any food or anything. I'm of the opinion that babies are meant to be celebrated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 If you are pregnant, would you go up to your friend and say, "Hey, Suzy, please buy some clothes for my baby?" This is why friends and (less traditionally) family give showers: it puts space between the gifter and the giftee. Throwing your own shower and offering mints in exchange for gifts hardly makes it acceptable to ask your friends for gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd go to the shower and help her welcome her first beautiful baby. The behind-the-scenes hows and whys of the shower wouldn't concern me. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 If you are pregnant, would you go up to your friend and say, "Hey, Suzy, please buy some clothes for my baby?" This is why friends and (less traditionally) family give showers: it puts space between the gifter and the giftee. Throwing your own shower and offering mints in exchange for gifts hardly makes it acceptable to ask your friends for gifts. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 If one of my acquaintances were doing this, I would step up and tell her that I would plan the shower, she has so much to do already, etc. In all the churches I've belonged to, the women of the church always held showers for every new baby that was born, whether the first born or not. It was very nice! I'm surprised that she is having to throw her own shower. I think it is rude and tacky to assume people will give you gifts and throw your own shower. Part of the problem with our self-centered society is that we think we deserve everything but don't go out of our way to form close friendships where someone would think of hosting a shower for you. I guess I would be pretty judgmental about it! :tongue_smilie: But, like I said, I'd step up and offer to take the "burden" of the shower off of her shoulders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sushi's Mom Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I offered to throw a shower for my friend. She had asked me to be the godmother she refused to let me throw the shower and she said she was going to do it herself. I told h that people would think poorly of her for throwing herself a shower. She had no clue that people would think that. She told me that she decided to do it herself because she knew people would want to do one and she didn't feel comfortable with others going out of their way to do something nice for her, and spending their money. (yes, she's a very shy, low self esteem kind of person.) she did not set up a registry either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Go to the shower and ask her if you can do anything to help her get ready. Then do it, bless her heart. Why isn't her mom helping her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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