simka2 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 I also make a point of not judging people by the cleanliness, or lack thereof, of their house. I do not think a clean house is a 'better' house or a tidy and organized person is a 'better' person. I don't attach moral value to the state of one's kitchen floor.  Sometimes you might come to my house and it will be very tidy. Other times (like today, before we go on a camping trip) it will not. I am the same person each time. It doesn't say anything about my family.  I also don't expect that just because the house is clean that is the female partner that did the cleaning. In my house, my husband is responsible for the laundry. If it is in piles waiting to be folded, that is not my job so don't judge me for it. He is just as likely to spend and evening cleaning the bathroom as I am so if it is grungy in there, please hold us both accountable. Or don't. It's up to you. But we are happy to see you no matter the state of our space.  Thank you. This hit something in me that I cannot quite explain. I need to mull it over a bit. I just really appreciate you writing it out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 Spiders. In the last year we've had four instances of spider bites which were under constant attendance by doctors for mrsa infection. My fella had a spider bite that led to a near full blown case of Stevens Johnson syndrome.  Google images for this. You will freak.  We've moved out of there due to the spiders as well as other issues, but now..today, after four bouts of infection which can be deadly, as in FATAL..I'm more intense than ever on cleaning.  So yes, spiders are my reason for being a weirdo about cleaning.  We lost a week in vacation time last year due to having to tap into the PTO time he had to use due to the infection.  It cost us about 2K to shuffle things on tickets which were already purchased, a loss on the hotel booking, etc.  I wasn't "dirty" before this or anything, but now I have a spider obsession and probably am a bit over the line on clean house issues. It's a problem for me now.  Happens.  True story. I dreamnt about spiders in my bed last night. It was so real I went and slept on the couch. I figured dh could be spider bait in bed and they wouldn't find me. Okay, it wasn't totally rational thought, but it woke me up at a dead sleep :D! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I start to feel like I'll explode. I don't like bugs and rodents in my house, and I can't stand mold growing in my bathroom. Clutter causes accidents. Â I think those are all good reasons to keep your house clean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I just feel better and it gives me a sense of control. Years ago, I used to joke that there could be a nuclear disaster, but if my house was clean, I would be okay. Â I hate having to dig in the sink to find a cup or plate, can't stand the dog hair that seems to pile up everywhere, or being unable to wear something because the laundry never got done. So, having things clean and put away just helps my day go better and keeps me from being frustrated. Â I also find that when the house is a mess or really needs to be cleaned I feel out of control somehow. It makes me feel out of control with myself and in other areas as well. I just get very out of sorts. Â I will say I've lowered my standards over the years. With homeschooling there were so many times I just couldn't get it all done. I can manage with some mess now that before would have bothered me, and I don't mind if it takes a little longer than it used to for me to get around to getting everything done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 When we just recently moved out of our other apartment (the complex built in 1970)...they give you this cleaning list they check off...oh boy. Â My fella has never witnessed the housework, it's always done before he comes home. Well..he got to see it up close and personal during this last move. It was a bit embarrassing at times. I'm all Joe Detail. Â But anyway, he heard this mighty screech and came dashing down to find me with tears running down my face in the kitchen. Â "What? Are you hurt?" Â I just kept pointing to the wall behind the refrigerator..I'd pulled it away to clean the sides and floor underneath. Â MOLD growing three foot up the wall. Â Man did I ever feel bad. The thickest part of it was right next to the air vents for the fridge. Â That dang thing had been sucking in mold air right into the fridge and whishing all over in the interior. We are lucky we never got sick from it. Â What's behind your fridge? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Really just because I like the look of it. It's more peaceful. Too much clutter niggles at my brain. And if I leave it to accumulate it gets overwhelming. Â Everyone has their own definition of 'too much clutter' though - my house wouldn't pass muster with many. Â Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma aimee Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Nobody has ever tried to motivate me with to keep a clean house with anything religious. That's new to me. Â :iagree: Â I guess i can see someone being bashed about it -- but ^shrug^ never thought about it -- that apporach i mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011  I just kept pointing to the wall behind the refrigerator..I'd pulled it away to clean the sides and floor underneath.  MOLD growing three foot up the wall.  Man did I ever feel bad. The thickest part of it was right next to the air vents for the fridge.  That dang thing had been sucking in mold air right into the fridge and whishing all over in the interior. We are lucky we never got sick from it.  What's behind your fridge? lol  The wall behind was moldy. When I started to wash it, it smelled of really good, expensive mushrooms. That can't be good, surely? But it didn't freak me out: we are pretty healthy, so whatever was growing there hasn't hurt us.  Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraeden Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I need an answer as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I try to keep a clean house, because it is more enjoyable to live in and it helps everyone be more productive in other areas, including work, school, and cooking - all of which we do at home! Â I've never heard about housecleaning being a religious issue before. Â :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Because my vision of home life is peaceful & graceful, and requires a neat-ish home. I've adopted some FlyLady routines, and have internalized the idea of doing this for myself -- as a way of caring for myself as well as my family. DH certainly helps, and I'm training the littles, but the idea of keeping home for my own self keeps me from being cross & bitter when it's me shouldering most of the work, and doing floors while DH relaxes after his day. Â I'm also post-conservative-denomination. Good luck, and many :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellesmere Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Nobody has ever tried to motivate me with to keep a clean house with anything religious. That's new to me. Â Then be very glad you never had someone berate you for being messy and assume it was because you were hiding secret sins. It's awful. Â Â Simka, who still feels a bit lost after leaving a very conservative denomination. :001_smile: :grouphug: Â I don't know if our backgrounds are at all alike, but I think I get what you mean. Having spent time with people who felt that spiritual mentorship was very much about helping women learn to cook and clean so they wouldn't be a sloppy testimony ... I think I get what you are saying. Â My non-religious answer for myself is not liking critters and mold, allergies, safety, not losing things as much, and I live in an area where people just show up. For my preference, I'm happy if the dishes are done (we don't have a working washer), the bathroom is disinfected and clean, and it is decluttered as it can be with two little ones. We are pretty strict about no food outside of the kitchen/dining area (our house is tiny, so this isn't a big loss and that only applies in our home) and we don't wear shoes in the house, so that helps a little. I didn't learn how to clean and organize 'til I was well into married life and it's been an uphill battle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Why do you keep a clean house? A schedule/routine? What motivates you to do this? I keep coming back to this issue:glare: I want a clean house, organization and routines, but I cannot find anything that motivated me quite as well as the "religious cattle prod of shame."  Now that I have removed the, "You have to do this to be a Godly wife..." voice out of my head, I am a bit adrift. The thing is I really want to get back some motivation in this area. I just struggle with the "why."  Any ideas? :D  Simka, who still feels a bit lost after leaving a very conservative denomination. :001_smile:  Well, I'm what one would call 'religious' - but it has nothing to do with why I keep my house clean, so I an answer, right? :tongue_smilie: I clean my house because I like for it to be clean. Don't get me wrong, I'm not all that great at it... the laundry gets done, and the house is 'clean enough'. But it isn't spotless, and I usually don't willingly vacuum the floors until I notice crumbs under the table. :tongue_smilie: (and since our dog is seriously like the dumbest dog on the planet - but we love her - she doesn't eat the stuff that falls off the table!!!! Like, what on earth??) And I'm not gonna lie, I'm thrilled that the boys can start helping clean. I hate cleaning, but like the results. Well, actually, I don't mind cleaning once I get started... I just hate getting started. I have to like, plan for it. Or know I'll have help. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 When we just recently moved out of our other apartment (the complex built in 1970)...they give you this cleaning list they check off...oh boy. My fella has never witnessed the housework, it's always done before he comes home. Well..he got to see it up close and personal during this last move. It was a bit embarrassing at times. I'm all Joe Detail.  But anyway, he heard this mighty screech and came dashing down to find me with tears running down my face in the kitchen.  "What? Are you hurt?"  I just kept pointing to the wall behind the refrigerator..I'd pulled it away to clean the sides and floor underneath.  MOLD growing three foot up the wall.  Man did I ever feel bad. The thickest part of it was right next to the air vents for the fridge.  That dang thing had been sucking in mold air right into the fridge and whishing all over in the interior. We are lucky we never got sick from it.  What's behind your fridge? lol Oh my heck:svengo:I would have never even thought to look back there. Thankfully, my husband pulled the fridge out a few weeks ago (I can't even remember why:confused:) and swept and vacuumed the back. Now I can rest assured that there is no mold back there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Then be very glad you never had someone berate you for being messy and assume it was because you were hiding secret sins. It's awful.  :grouphug:  I don't know if our backgrounds are at all alike, but I think I get what you mean. Having spent time with people who felt that spiritual mentorship was very much about helping women learn to cook and clean so they wouldn't be a sloppy testimony ... I think I get what you are saying.  My non-religious answer for myself is not liking critters and mold, allergies, safety, not losing things as much, and I live in an area where people just show up. For my preference, I'm happy if the dishes are done (we don't have a working washer), the bathroom is disinfected and clean, and it is decluttered as it can be with two little ones. We are pretty strict about no food outside of the kitchen/dining area (our house is tiny, so this isn't a big loss and that only applies in our home) and we don't wear shoes in the house, so that helps a little. I didn't learn how to clean and organize 'til I was well into married life and it's been an uphill battle.  :thumbdown: I don't doubt some people are like that, I just think its ridiculous. (So know, that when I say I'm what many would call religious - yeah, that doesn't apply to me!! ;) ) Oh, and I forgot to say that I stay organized and scheduled because it's my personality. I'm kind of freaky that way. :) (And clutter in certain areas drives me nuts, too. Like totally ruins my mood. And reading this thread I feel I should check out this Flylady person...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandsam Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 My motivation to a clean house: I find a dirty house stressful. A dirty house is a to-do for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Then be very glad you never had someone berate you for being messy and assume it was because you were hiding secret sins. It's awful.  :grouphug:  I don't know if our backgrounds are at all alike, but I think I get what you mean. Having spent time with people who felt that spiritual mentorship was very much about helping women learn to cook and clean so they wouldn't be a sloppy testimony ... I think I get what you are saying.   Clairelise (and Simka, if this is the case for you too) I am so sorry that has ever happened to you. It is absolutely disgusting to me that someone would treat you that way. It is so completely illogical too. I can think of about 10 reasons why that makes no sense. I am glad you got out of that situation. I just know this (and am assuming you are Christians) Christ didn't come to help those that were already perfect. He came to help those that were imperfect. While I have always viewed those with large families and clean homes to be perfect (don't know why; it's not in my religious beliefs anywhere), the truth is EVERYONE has some flaw somewhere. Sure they may be able to keep their house perfectly clean, but there is something else they won't be able to do perfectly. And judging from the way they treated you, it's very obvious to me what it was. (And I'm sorry if I'm overstepping bounds by saying all that, I only mean the best.):grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 It makes me happy to have my house clean :) Â Once upon a time, long long ago, I was really, really messy and disorganised. I married dh, who was very organised and neat, and who hangs everything including tshirts, does his own washing and likes the sink to be clear most of the time. He however was VERY intolerant of my messiness and used to give me a very hard time about it, especially since he had clients in the house. I kind of wanted to be organised, but being nagged about it was NOT a good motivation for me and I rebelled and became resentful. Then, along came separation from my dh, and a cousin introduced me to Flylady. I learned to keep house for MYSELF and to enjoy it. I uncluttered and found it FUN and even ADDICTIVE. A short time later, I started homeschooling my kids- I could not have done it if I hadnt first got my home and life into some sort of order. Shortly after than we moved back in with Dh and have lived fairly harmoniously and NEATLY ever since. Yes, we have some issues but we both have a similar tidiness standard nowadays and the issues are about our TEENAGERs and their messiness :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 (edited) In all honesty, my creativity comes to a grinding halt when I have a mess around me. I need stuff that makes me happy, stuff that makes it a home, but order and clean to go with it. Otherwise I'll sit down to do something I enjoy and I won't be able to because the disorder is screaming at me. I am much more relaxed when the house is clean (and I'm not crazy cleaner. I mean, relatively clean.). Edited August 5, 2011 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I keep coming back to this issue:glare: I want a clean house, organization and routines, but I cannot find anything that motivated me quite as well as the "religious cattle prod of shame." Â Â That worked? Perhaps I need me a cattle prod of shame... :tongue_smilie: Â I love a clean house. I just don't love cleaning it... :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Then be very glad you never had someone berate you for being messy and assume it was because you were hiding secret sins. It's awful.   :grouphug: to you & Simka. I am, however, very familiar with the non-religious cattle-prod of shame. It hurts. Having shame thrust on you from people who love you is just wrong & is hard to get over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I believe that an organised environment is both a sign of, and a prerequisite for an organised life and mind. I have none of the previously mentioned, which surely supports my point! Â I am ashamed of having an untidy house when people come over. I am most definitely shocked by the state of some houses I visit. Â I am not the "submissive wife" type at all, and I feel thatn my time with the kids is much more taxing than dh's work, which he enjoys, but I still feel that if I am home all day and my husband works out of the house, the least I can do is make sure that the house is basically tidy and clean when he gets home - floors swept, kitchen clean, beds made, stuff put away. I manage this about 3 days out of 7... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 Then be very glad you never had someone berate you for being messy and assume it was because you were hiding secret sins. It's awful.  :grouphug:  I don't know if our backgrounds are at all alike, but I think I get what you mean. Having spent time with people who felt that spiritual mentorship was very much about helping women learn to cook and clean so they wouldn't be a sloppy testimony ... I think I get what you are saying.  My non-religious answer for myself is not liking critters and mold, allergies, safety, not losing things as much, and I live in an area where people just show up. For my preference, I'm happy if the dishes are done (we don't have a working washer), the bathroom is disinfected and clean, and it is decluttered as it can be with two little ones. We are pretty strict about no food outside of the kitchen/dining area (our house is tiny, so this isn't a big loss and that only applies in our home) and we don't wear shoes in the house, so that helps a little. I didn't learn how to clean and organize 'til I was well into married life and it's been an uphill battle.  Yes, the backgrounds are very similar. I remember my first week at the new house we moved to when we accepted the staff pastor position. The Sr. Pastor's wife came over to help me appropriately vacume the stairs, decorate, and dye my hair. That followed 6-7 years of how to pick out the perfect feathered lamp and throw pillows. :tongue_smilie:  Sometimes I wonder if people only think this happens in small country churches. Mine was in a very large, very contemporary church. Women's events always had a lot of leopard print. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 it makes me crazy if it isn't. I hate disorder, in my own house anyway. I don't care about others' homes, because they aren't my responsibility to clean. Just like other people's crying babies don't bother me. For me it has nothing to do with what kind of wife I am, and my husband doesn't care if the house is perfect, I just get really grumpy when things are out of order. I've always been like this, even as a child. When I was in college, I couldn't study if my surroundings weren't in order. I really think it's a gift to be able to just relax even when everything isn't done. I just don't have that gift. It's one of the things in my life I have to keep working on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 If my house isn't orderly, I don't feel settled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 What I think is incredibly interesting and fascinating is that 98% of the answers (imprecise mental math, here) state that clutter and mess is anxiety-provoking, causes unhappiness and stress or something of that nature. Â I think human beings are inherently designed to appreciate beauty and order and (I'm sorry - this is actually a religious notion, but...) that is part of being created in the image of God. Animals don't appear to care about beauty. There isn't even an evolutionary necessity to be drawn to beauty, that I can think of. It's just that as people, we like beauty and order. Whether someone is a self-described "messy" or a "neat freak," the attraction to beauty and order does seem to be universal. Â I find that fascinating. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 My motivation is that I *hate* a messy cluttered house. Hate it. I get cranky and short tempered when I'm surrounded by mess. I'm really not happy when my house is messy. Â Now, my house is not perfect by any means. However, it's clean enough to keep me from blowing my top.....most of the time. Â Trust me, with three messy boys and the world's biggest slob husband, it's a constant minute to minute struggle for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelaughs_times_three Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I cannot find anything that motivated me quite as well as the "religious cattle prod of shame."Â Â Â You mean you don't want me to quote to you "GET TO THE ANT, YOU SLUGGARD!" :lol: Â I don't know why, call it my twisted, non-sacred sense of humor, but that verse has always cracked me up! It has especially cracked me up that it is a theme verse on so many homeschool curricula. I was telling a friend that at a convention once. We went around the corner and sure enough, in the next booth, there was that verse again, in bold, right on the front of something! I love how we use verses to manipulate people to do what we want them to do or to conform to values that we assume God agrees with. Â I'm not sure you really need a motivation to clean that is not your own. I truly don't believe God cares nearly as much about how clean our houses are as we have been led to believe. I think He cares much more about where our hearts are at. I've heard a pastor say that he just can't get a clear line to God when there is a mess around him, that it is too distracting. I don't find a mess distracting at all. So, I don't buy in to the idea that this is important for everyone. Â I guess I think you need a break from any cattle prod - religious or not. I've been under that spiritual cloud of shame before (not what Christ died to give us - by the way). I needed a break from all internal and external pressures so that the fog could clear. I needed to be able to find my own, TRUE motivations for the things that were TRULY important to me and to God. If you just trade one set of pressure for another, you will never find that. Â I'd encourage you to enjoy a messy house, and a more relaxed lifestyle, for awhile. You will end up finding your own motivations, and your own level of tolerance for mess. (we all have our limits, but they are different for different people). Â Just my 2 cents from someone who's been there and still struggles with those inner voices of condemnation at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Crown Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Because cleanliness is next to ... oh, wait. Â Real answer: So that I can find my books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I am a Christian, but a clean house has nothing to do with that for me. It is the embarrassment factor. Living with lots of children messing things up constantly in the grand scheme of life can get quite messy and unsanitary quickly. I don't want to be embarrassed or have lots of unwanted critters hinding in various places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 (edited) my motivation has never been spiritual. for me, i am more relaxed in a clean home. i feel uptight and irritable when the house is really messy - so for me, cleaning it makes sense. that's not to say my home is super "clean", but it usually is tidy (i.e. beds made, kitchen sink empty, toilets flushed, laundry semi caught-up, no nasty stuff in our showers or on the floors, etc). plus, i feel it teaches my children to value what we have, by taking care of it and cleaning up after themselves. that's not to say toys are never on the floor, or art work on the table - it just means when we're done, we clean up after ourselves as we move throughout the day. it just makes more sense here. Edited August 5, 2011 by mytwomonkeys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 What I think is incredibly interesting and fascinating is that 98% of the answers (imprecise mental math, here) state that clutter and mess is anxiety-provoking, causes unhappiness and stress or something of that nature. I think human beings are inherently designed to appreciate beauty and order and (I'm sorry - this is actually a religious notion, but...) that is part of being created in the image of God. Animals don't appear to care about beauty. There isn't even an evolutionary necessity to be drawn to beauty, that I can think of. It's just that as people, we like beauty and order. Whether someone is a self-described "messy" or a "neat freak," the attraction to beauty and order does seem to be universal.  I find that fascinating. :001_smile:  I started to notice this as well. Last night after we heard the bank had rejected the 2nd short sale offer, we got word of another upsetting blow (of a totally different nature.) Anyway, I decide to put the theory to practice. I could not sleep so I got up and cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, did a few loads of laundry and worked on a rug I am crocheting. Granted this meant I was up till 4am, but I definately did not feel as anxious! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 It just feels better. And it saves time if everything is in its place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 "You have to do this to be a Godly wife..." voice out of my head, I am a bit adrift. The thing is I really want to get back some motivation in this area. I just struggle with the "why."Â Â Ahhhh, so that's what we have to do to be a godly wife. Boy have I been missing the boat. :D Â I do it because we're trying to sell our place, and have been for the last 18 months. It's sort of become a way of life at this point. Of course, as I look around, it's not all that clean at the moment.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I like to invite people over, but I don't like them to come over when the house is a mess. That's my main motivation for cleaning. Plus, I just like living in a clean house better than a dirty one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Because it's nasty not to keep a clean house. I can't imagine having children and them having to grow up around filth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellesmere Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 ...(and since our dog is seriously like the dumbest dog on the planet - but we love her - she doesn't eat the stuff that falls off the table!!!! Like, what on earth??) :lol: And I've heard dogs are supposed to help clean the crumbs on the floor! My dog was the dumbest on earth, or so I thought. He was no dummy about food, though. Still had to mop the slobber, though. Â Clairelise (and Simka, if this is the case for you too) I am so sorry that has ever happened to you. It is absolutely disgusting to me that someone would treat you that way. It is so completely illogical too. I can think of about 10 reasons why that makes no sense. I am glad you got out of that situation. I just know this (and am assuming you are Christians) Christ didn't come to help those that were already perfect. He came to help those that were imperfect. While I have always viewed those with large families and clean homes to be perfect (don't know why; it's not in my religious beliefs anywhere), the truth is EVERYONE has some flaw somewhere. Sure they may be able to keep their house perfectly clean, but there is something else they won't be able to do perfectly. And judging from the way they treated you, it's very obvious to me what it was. (And I'm sorry if I'm overstepping bounds by saying all that, I only mean the best.):grouphug: Not overstepping at all. Thanks for the hug and for not ridiculing our experience. Â :grouphug: to you & Simka. I am, however, very familiar with the non-religious cattle-prod of shame. It hurts. Having shame thrust on you from people who love you is just wrong & is hard to get over. Thanks. Appreciated! Â Yes, the backgrounds are very similar. I remember my first week at the new house we moved to when we accepted the staff pastor position. The Sr. Pastor's wife came over to help me appropriately vacume the stairs, decorate, and dye my hair. That followed 6-7 years of how to pick out the perfect feathered lamp and throw pillows. :tongue_smilie:Â Sometimes I wonder if people only think this happens in small country churches. Mine was in a very large, very contemporary church. Women's events always had a lot of leopard print. :D Â Ours was fairly big, but no leopard print! I always felt bad for one of my sweet, kind friends there that was terribly disorganized. It was just assumed by some that the more spiritually mature you were, the more clean and organized you would be, without much effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 The Sr. Pastor's wife came over to help me appropriately vacume the stairs, decorate, and dye my hair. Â Oh my, I just saw this! Was there a particular shade required or did it just need to be any color not your own? I know it isn't funny when you live through it & I hope this doesn't come across as ridicule. I don't mean it that way but it does sound funny to me. Cartoonish even. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Why do you keep a clean house? A schedule/routine? What motivates you to do this?   it's mentally calming, it's healthier (fewer allergies for starters), it's easier to find things Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I started to notice this as well. Last night after we heard the bank had rejected the 2nd short sale offer, we got word of another upsetting blow (of a totally different nature.) Anyway, I decide to put the theory to practice. I could not sleep so I got up and cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, did a few loads of laundry and worked on a rug I am crocheting. Granted this meant I was up till 4am, but I definately did not feel as anxious! ;) Â See? Cheaper than Prozac! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I started to notice this as well. Last night after we heard the bank had rejected the 2nd short sale offer, we got word of another upsetting blow (of a totally different nature.) Anyway, I decide to put the theory to practice. I could not sleep so I got up and cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, did a few loads of laundry and worked on a rug I am crocheting. Granted this meant I was up till 4am, but I definately did not feel as anxious! ;) Â Â Dh and I call this "Stress Cleaning". It is frequently practiced here along with "Angry Cleaning" :D Â Nothing keeps you from saying all those things you want to in an argument like scrubbing the bathroom down. By the time the thing is clean, I have a much better idea of what I want to say and how I want to say it. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 Oh my, I just saw this! Was there a particular shade required or did it just need to be any color not your own? I know it isn't funny when you live through it & I hope this doesn't come across as ridicule. I don't mean it that way but it does sound funny to me. Cartoonish even. Â Particular shade and brand :tongue_smilie:. Oh my goodness! Looking back I am dumfounded!!!! In my defense I was 19! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Particular shade and brand :tongue_smilie:. Oh my goodness! Looking back I am dumfounded!!!! In my defense I was 19! Â Goodness, at 19 I did ridiculously stupid stuff which was way worse & I'm sure wouldn't be a welcome topic here. Don't feel bad. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in the NH Woods Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 (edited) First of all, you don't need a cattle prod, you need a :grouphug:. Â One idea for you, and one encouragement: Have you read the children's book Miss Rumphius? If not, please borrow one from the library. Okay. One of Miss Rumphius' life objectives was to make the world more beautiful. (She accomplishes this by sowing lupine seed in the nooks and crannies that she encounters.) So, just performing a simple task like pulling a few weeds, arranging some inexpensive flowers from the grocery store, clearing up some clutter, looking online at pretty design ideas and incorporating a color you fell in love with , picking out a pretty print (try art.com), making your bed, even picking up some trash that has blown into the road in front of your home are all small things that not only uplift your spirit but those around you. Which leads to part two~ some encouragement. Â Our eldest dd was here for a few days with her new hubby to house/dog sit for us. (This was the kid whose room could and should have been condemned by the Board of Health.) Anyway, yesterday she thanked me for providing a place of refuge and beauty for the family. She really surprised me by saying this! Our home is not fancy, needs updating in the bathrooms, has some problem clutter areas, and isn't squeaky clean. Believe me! But it is home. Cleaning is just a means to an end, and a never-ending one at that! Try not to feel trapped by thinking everything needs to be done all the time. I know I often feel that way. It helps me to think in terms of small tasks; one clear counter... some fresh flowers.... hang up the coats... freshen a slipcover... look at others' ideas. Even small tasks done can add beauty and order to your little oasis. And it will refresh others, as well. Most importantly, you do not need to be perfect for God to love you. You are His masterpiece and His delight. Edited August 6, 2011 by Cindy in the NH Woods Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 For me, it comes down to two things. Â I'm a bit house proud. Â I'm a bit OCD. Â Putting aside the OCD, I just want to have a nice neat home because I feel a sense of pride in having a home well-kept. Sometimes, that is a real challenge. It's over 100 years old and it needs a lot more attention than mere cleaning can provide, but still.... it is my home and I take pride in its appearance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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