If you have pets is it your responsibility or your guests

[Jean in Newcastle]

to check if there are allergies to pet dander? If I invite someone over and they do not ask me if I have pets, can I assume that they don't have any allergies?

[i.love.lucy]

Yes. If I have allergies that are bad enough for the environment I will be in, then I should ask about the allergens before coming.

[Tangerine]

If someone is allergic to the point that being in a house with a pet for a short visit is unmanageable, I would certainly expect it to be the guest's responsibility to make any inquiries regarding pets.

[FO4UR]

I don't know whose responsibility it is to ask, but it's always appreciated when we don't *have* to ask.;)

 

My dh has severe cat allergies - major asthmatic reactions - and he's had some close calls with ministry visits b/c he doesn't want to be rude.

 

I, OTOH, have no problems asking...(and I'm supposedly the shy one:lol:).

[kewb]

I would never assume but chances are good they do not have a pet allergy. I imagine an adult with an allergy is in the habit of inquiring if there are pets in the home.

 

If my kids invite a new friend over I always tell them to make sure they know we have a dog in case they are allergic.

[zaichiki]

Anyone who has ANY allergy is fully responsible for themselves. How would other people know to ask? Goodness... imagine if everyone asked everyone about allergies: carpet glue, pet dander, cigarette smoke, sunblock, perfumes/fragrances...

 

Or I guess we could all just ask *everyone*, "Do you have any allergies I should be concerned about?"

Edited July 26, 2011 by zaichiki

[zaichiki]

If I invite someone over and they do not ask me if I have pets, can I assume that they don't have any allergies?

 

I never assume allergies. I think it's common to assume *no* allergies unless told differently.

 

ETA: I have allergies, as do all (now- sigh) of my children.

Edited July 26, 2011 by zaichiki

[Greta]

to check if there are allergies to pet dander? If I invite someone over and they do not ask me if I have pets, can I assume that they don't have any allergies?

 

I think it is the responsibility of the person with the allergies. There are so many things that can trigger allergies, I just don't think it's feasible that we can all be aware of all the things that can cause everyone else to have a reaction. Those of us who do have a reaction to certain things are responsible for taking the initiative to protect ourselves.

[laundrycrisis]

I always let people who are coming to our home the first time that 1. we have dogs 2. they will be gated inside a room in the house, but they are still very loud and one is large. I'm doing my best to fully disclose to anyone who may have either allergy or phobia concerns with dogs. I think I am being considerate by making sure people know there are dogs here.

 

However I also think that anyone who has an issue with any sort of animal should take responsibility for their own issue and always ask if no information is offered. I know there are a lot of animal owners who just would not think to mention their animals if someone didn't ask...they aren't meaning to be inconsiderate, but the problems that others may have with their animal are just not on their radar.

[Lady Florida.]

Most people who come to our house already know we have pets. There are a few who I know have allergies, so I make sure I do a good vacuuming and try to keep the pets out of the way when they're coming over.

 

Occasionally we have people who are unaware of our pets coming over - new friends or hosting a homeschool activity. I always let people know we have pets so they can decide if they should come. But I'm not sure I'd say it's my responsibility. If one has allergies, especially if they're severe, they should speak up the first time they're going to someone's home.

[mom2scouts]

I have six cats and they're such a part of our lives that I would never even think to ask someone if they were allergic. If someone told me, I would do what I could to keep the cats away from them, but our whole house is full of cat hair anyway.

[Impish]

Comes under the heading of personal responsibility. The ppl with the allergies need to ask.

[Cheryl in NM]

to check if there are allergies to pet dander? If I invite someone over and they do not ask me if I have pets, can I assume that they don't have any allergies?

 

It is your guest's responsibility. However, if someone's child is over and petting an animal and I notice the signs of allergic reaction I will ask the child and/or mother if there are allergies. If the mother isn't around I have the child wash their hands and face and stay away from the animal.

[Mabeline]

Anyone who has ANY allergy is fully responsible for themselves. How would other people know to ask? Goodness... imagine if everyone asked everyone about allergies: carpet glue, pet dander, cigarette smoke, sunblock, perfumes/fragrances...

 

Or I guess we could all just ask *everyone*, "Do you have any allergies I should be concerned about?"

 

:iagree:

[arghmatey]

I always tell people we have pets, but it's because our dog is obnoxious. I would not visit a house with a dog like ours if it weren't restricted to specific areas of the house.

 

I also ask people if they have pets before visiting to prepare our children.

[kitten18]

If someone is allergic to the point that being in a house with a pet for a short visit is unmanageable, I would certainly expect it to be the guest's responsibility to make any inquiries regarding pets.

:iagree:

[Parrothead]

We have two cats and a dog. We've been close enough with several people who have allergies to pets to invite them over. Each and every one of those people informed me of the allergy, asked first and we made appropriate accommodations. We actually had to visit with one friend outside since he could not come into the house.

[Ellie]

I don't know whose responsibility it actually is, but I always warn first-time visitors that I have pets. I also ask guests coming over for a meal if they have any food allergies.

 

I don't have animal allergies, but it seems sort of brassy to me to quiz a hostess about whether there are pets in her home.

[Tranquility7]

As a hostess, I think it is always thoughtful to ask ahead if your guests have allergies/restrictions (both regarding food and pets, if applicable). Is it “my responsibility� I don’t really know, but I wouldn’t phrase it that way anyway. I just think it is the considerate thing to do.

 

That being said, if I forgot to ask, it isn’t the end of the world. But I would try harder to remember next time. I just think it is part of making a hospitable home.

 

A few years ago we had a couple for supper and I forgot to ask about allergies and restrictions, and I realized during dinner that one of our guests was a vegetarian! She was so gracious and kind and didn’t say anything, but I wished I had asked so that I could have provided a menu with more “substance†in the non-meat areas, you know? After that experience, I learned to always ask!

 

On the other hand, as a guest, if I or my family member were the one with allergies or restrictions that *needed* to be accommodated (as opposed to just an inconvenience), I would mention it, but I would not be offended if the hostess did not ask me first and even was not able to accommodate my need after she knew it.

[Laurie4b]

to check if there are allergies to pet dander? If I invite someone over and they do not ask me if I have pets, can I assume that they don't have any allergies?

 

I have cat allergies. I don't expect anyone to tell me if they have cats, nor do I ask. I do find it nice if there is a place to sit without cat hair , however! That could be a plain wooden chair. Once I am in a house and there are cats, I will tell the hostess that I am allergic. At that point, what I am requesting is that the hostess keep the cat from rubbing all over me. Personally, I think that cats can tell when people are allergic to them and they lovvvvvvvve to rub it in! (Seriously, I go to one friend's house regularly and her cats are absolutely fascinated by my shoes. Stick their faces in them, rub on them, etc. She says they don't do that to other people's shoes, so go figure!)

[elise1mds]

I have six cats and they're such a part of our lives that I would never even think to ask someone if they were allergic. If someone told me, I would do what I could to keep the cats away from them, but our whole house is full of cat hair anyway.

 

Yup, I do the same with my half-dozen, but they're EXTREMELY social, so it's a job. I'll still do it, though! I have a friend who is allergic to cats, so usually when we get together, we meet elsewhere or at her house. If she decides she wants to brave the onslaught, I'll make sure to vacuum several times, spray for dander, change the filters, etc.... and she'll usually take some Benadryl before heading over. I do what I can to accommodate someone if I *know* there's an allergy, including meeting elsewhere, but if nobody tells me, I can't prepare!

[ocelotmom]

I generally ask if people have any allergies/eating preferences that we should be aware of, and warn people that we have dogs because they're big and bark and may startle people who aren't prepared, but in the end it's the allergic person's responsibility to make others aware of their allergies.

[WiseOwlKnits]

With children, I'm always sure I tell parents the first time they come over that we have pets. With adults, I don't mention it and assume they would say something. Either way though, I put our dog up so that she's not out when we have guests.

[Jean in Newcastle]

What prompted this is that our pets are so much in the background of our lives that I often don't even think to mention them to some who is a visitor. But then 5 min. before they arrive I start to worry that they might be allergic and that I've offended them by not taking that into consideration.

[calandalsmom]

My ds and I have allergies. I carry meds at all times.

[dsmama]

My DD (almost 8) is allergic to cats. It is our responsibility, and hers, to keep from petting the cat, etc. She sometimes needs Benadryl after a visit to a house, but it is usually up to her to not pet the cat or face a night of itchy eye. At her age, I remind her, and then she is having to learn to be responsible to avoid the cat, with my guidance.

[redsquirrel]

What prompted this is that our pets are so much in the background of our lives that I often don't even think to mention them to some who is a visitor. But then 5 min. before they arrive I start to worry that they might be allergic and that I've offended them by not taking that into consideration.

 

As someone who has allergies, some major and most minor, I appreciate your concern. I also have cats and I tend to worry about the same thing. Generally, if allergies are major, then people always ask. My animal allergies are minor or easily avoidable so I don't even think of asking. For example, I am allergic to horses. Not that hard to avoid a horse, lol It isn't so bad that I can't go in your house with horse stuff so I never ask or mention. I just don't go to the barn.

 

My kids are afraid of dogs and I always forget to ask about dogs. However, the only places we have been with unruly dogs the owner put them away without even being asked. Most of the time, the dog is so gentle that I mention my boys are afraid and the owner takes time to introduce everyone in a friendly manner.

 

So, it is really someone's own responsibility to let you know ahead of time. But, I think it is part of being a gracious host to ask. But, I don't feel too badly if I forget to ask.

 

Oh, If I am making a general announcement sort of invitation like a birthday party or a church thing I do include animal info. Might say something like "we have cats. If this is a problem let me know and we will see what we can work out." Mostly, people just say that they took their medication before they came over.

[Julie Smith]

I have meet a few people online, then got together with them in person, without knowing much about them.

 

I always ask the general question, "Is there anything I should know about?". I then follow it up by telling them things they should know about us. "We are vegetarian" or "My kids have difficult being in a house with a jumpy in your face dog". I also sometimes include, "We don't smoke". In hopes that will alleviate some fears - or get them to tell me that they do.

 

So far my general question, "Is there anything I should know about?" has always worked in finding out about physical limitations. (Once got together with someone in a wheel chair), allergies, food sensitives, behavioral problems, ...

 

I just find that question so helpful since it covers all the basis. Thanks to this message board I have learnt that many people have various rules, lives, ... that are very different from what I know about. (Ie. Large gun collections on display vs. not wanting to be in a house with any guns. Very modest swimming pool rules, vs. wearing next to nothing. ...)

[Ester Maria]

Assuming you are talking about adult people fully capable of taking care of themselves, then yes, assume things are fine unless told differently - it is their responsibility to inform you of such things.

 

On the other hand, in spite of it being their responsibility, it often comes across as nice and caring if you do ask in advance rather than put them into a situation in which they have to excuse themselves and inform you of things.

 

I usually ask if those are not long term friends, though I do not really consider it my duty to ask - I consider it a sort of an extra effort on my part, but people tend to appreciate it.

[SonshineLearner]

Good to ask, in case they forget. Like we have peanut allergies and usually remember to say something. Every once in a while, I forget....

[Paz]

I never even thought about this when we had only dogs. Now that we have cats I am noticing so many people are allergic to them. When we got our cats I found out that several of my ds's friends were highly allergic. His best friend at the time could no longer come over to visit due to allergies. This was a tough, athletic high school senior. One day he did come over and he and ds ending up falling asleep. I was away from the house. When I returned they were waking up from their naps and ds's friend's eyes were swollen shut and he was wheezing. I gave him whatever allergy meds I could find and sent them outside. Since then I try to remember and ask people beforehand if they have allergies.

[Shellydon]

I would assume the people with allergies would ask. We have indoor/outdoor cats and a dog, but I keep my house *very* clean, so that even people with allergies typically do not have trouble.

[Liz CA]

IMHO, the guest for whom a furry animal is a potential health issue needs to worry about this and should inquire.

I have never mentioned out of the blue to first time guests that we have a large dog with fur...would just not occur to me.

[Mrs Mungo]

If someone is allergic to the point that being in a house with a pet for a short visit is unmanageable, I would certainly expect it to be the guest's responsibility to make any inquiries regarding pets.

 

I agree. That way they know if you can put the dog/cat out for a bit, if they need to take an allergy pill before coming over, etc.

[Abigail4476]

I would assume that anyone with severe or life-threatening allergies would be proactive enough to ask. I have occasionally informed potential guests about our pets without being asked, but I think the onus is on them.

[joannqn]

Most people who come to our house already know we have pets. There are a few who I know have allergies, so I make sure I do a good vacuuming and try to keep the pets out of the way when they're coming over.

 

Occasionally we have people who are unaware of our pets coming over - new friends or hosting a homeschool activity. I always let people know we have pets so they can decide if they should come. But I'm not sure I'd say it's my responsibility. If one has allergies, especially if they're severe, they should speak up the first time they're going to someone's home.

 

:iagree:

 

I do the same. I've had a few people with pet allergies over to my house without problem because of the thorough vacuuming before they come over. A couple people have come for a while but leave sooner than they would otherwise because their allergies start to bother them.

 

I also warn people about our loud, but harmless, dog who will want to greet them. We always grab him while opening the door so they can have a moment to prepare for the greeting (no jumping anymore now that he's old). He's a 55 pound smooth coat collie mix who'll roll over and submit to a 5 pound female chihuahua; he doesn't have a single dominate cell in his body.

[TechWife]

Yes, if someone is allergic it is their responsibility to make sure that your house is a safe place to be. With that said, we know that my bil is highly allergic to cats and when we knew they were coming, we had our furniture cleaned and made sure to put the cats up while he was here. He stayed in a hotel overnight but was able to tolerate being here during the day. Of course, I can't clean my couch for everyone who comes over, but it was very important to us to have him comfortable here.

[Denisemomof4]

I don't always ask about allergies but I do always let new visitors know about my animals. And I *always* vacuum and wash the floors before they come. If I had carpets, I'd definitely make sure I know whether or not the person has allergies. Most people do fine in my home because we have very little carpet.

[FlockOfSillies]

I think it's nice for a host to ask, but unnecessary for the host to forget to ask and then feel guilty.

[happypamama]

Or I guess we could all just ask *everyone*, "Do you have any allergies I should be concerned about?"

 

That's about what I tend to do -- then it covers pets, food, etc. I do think it's generally the guest's responsibility to check, though. I'd expect a guest (or the guest's parent) to mention food allergies, and the same with pet or other allergies. If something matters to you (whether it's allergies, cigarette smoke, aggressive dogs, guns in the home, etc.), I think it's your responsibility (and your right) to ask.

[Hikin' Mama]

There is no way you can know every person's allergies or special situations. If people have an allergy or special situation, they need to take care of themselves and let others know in my not so humble opinion. It's called personal responsibility. And when I am told of your allergy, I will do my very best to accomodate you, because that is my responsibility as a hostess. But please don't expect me to anticipate all possible scenarios. :glare:

 

Can you tell this subject makes me grumpy?