Are you "visually stimulated" by attractive people?

[Veritaserum]

Do you find/have you ever found a good-looking person to be attractive/inspire sexual thoughts or feelings? Poll coming.

 

ETA: If you want to take the person home, I think that's a yes. ;) IOW, if you were single and unattached and this visually stunning person asked to spend more time with you, would you feel any kind of flutter/flush/twinge/swoon/etc.? Sheesh, I know I felt sparks when dh and I first met. :tongue_smilie:

Edited July 26, 2011 by Veritaserum

[Tangerine]

Wouldn't the complete lack of attraction to anyone, ever, be essentially what used to be called frigidity? (Which Wikipedia tells me is now called HSDD)

[ChristusG]

I wasn't exactly sure how to vote....so I voted no. I may look at someone and be attracted to them....but I don't have "sexual feelings" towards then. I don't think about jumping into bed with them or anything. :tongue_smilie: I'd just think "Wow, he is HOT!"

[stripe]

Why does the person have to be attractive? ;)

[gardening momma]

I wasn't exactly sure how to vote....so I voted no. I may look at someone and be attracted to them....but I don't have "sexual feelings" towards then. I don't think about jumping into bed with them or anything. :tongue_smilie: I'd just think "Wow, he is HOT!"

:iagree: I didn't vote, as the choices didn't really seem to reflect this.

 

And there's no "other." You know you can't have a poll without "other." ;)

[Tangerine]

I wasn't exactly sure how to vote....so I voted no. I may look at someone and be attracted to them....but I don't have "sexual feelings" towards then. I don't think about jumping into bed with them or anything. :tongue_smilie: I'd just think "Wow, he is HOT!"

 

But the wording included "have you ever". I assume that would include finding one's husband attractive, with that inspiring sexual feelings.

[nono]

Uh, yes I find a good looking person to be attractive! I consider him/her G*d's walking art! Now, someone may "reach" me a little more, but it is up to me what I do with that. Mostly, I just appreciate and move on.

 

I certainly won't let any good looking person take away from my real life and living it! :)

[gardening momma]

But the wording included "have you ever". I assume that would include finding one's husband attractive, with that inspiring sexual feelings.

I think what we're both saying is that it's not sexual. It's intellectual--as in, "he's hot, but I'm not turned on. But I'd love to take him home with me."

[Tangerine]

OP, did you intend your question to encompass people you already find attractive, like a mate? Or are we just talking about sexual attraction based on a first glance?

[stripe]

I think what we're both saying is that it's not sexual. It's intellectual--as in, "he's hot, but I'm not turned on. But I'd love to take him home with me."

 

And do what? Discuss baking soda vs baking powder? Talk up the price of gas? Read Moby Dick out loud together and ponder the meaning of life? Have him scrub toilets and iron?

[Tangerine]

I think what we're both saying is that it's not sexual. It's intellectual--as in, "he's hot, but I'm not turned on. But I'd love to take him home with me."

 

I'm so confused. I'm not trying to be dim here, but if it isn't sexual attraction...what are you doing with him once you get him home? Do you just want to stuff him and put him on the mantel?

[Tangerine]

And do what? Discuss baking soda vs baking powder? Talk up the price of gas? Read Moby Dick out loud together and ponder the meaning of life? Have him scrub toilets and iron?

 

:lol: I see you had the same question.

[gardening momma]

And do what? Discuss baking soda vs baking powder? Talk up the price of gas? Read Moby Dick out loud together and ponder the meaning of life? Have him scrub toilets and iron?

Housework, of course! :D

 

Just because I think he's hot doesn't mean I really want to do anything with him. And it doesn't mean I'm turned on. I thought the question was sort of ambiguous.

[stripe]

I understand, just being in his presence might be thrilling. Maybe he'd even let you sniff behind his ear, or clip his toenails.... I don't quite get the question either.

 

But I have to say, I once saw a male model in a magazine who reminded me of myself. And...he was kind of cute. Ahem.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

:lol: :smilielol5:

[mommaduck]

Housework, of course! :D

 

Just because I think he's hot doesn't mean I really want to do anything with him. And it doesn't mean I'm turned on. I thought the question was sort of ambiguous.

 

Reminds me of a boardbook called Porn for Women. It had pictures of husbands vacuumning, mopping, doing dishes, doing laundry, changing the baby's diaper, etc. Realistically though, there is "porn for women" out there. From really steamy novels to videos. Women are not immune and men are not enslaved to their bodies.

[Audrey]

And do what? Discuss baking soda vs baking powder? Talk up the price of gas? Read Moby Dick out loud together and ponder the meaning of life? Have him scrub toilets and iron?

 

 

The bolded, of course. I'm far too pristine of mind to have sexual thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh! That was so hard to type with a straight face! :lol:

[Plucky]

Reminds me of a boardbook called Porn for Women. It had pictures of husbands vacuumning, mopping, doing dishes, doing laundry, changing the baby's diaper, etc. Realistically though, there is "porn for women" out there. From really steamy novels to videos. Women are not immune and men are not enslaved to their bodies.

 

Good dad skills are always a turn on. :001_smile:

[meggie]

The bolded, of course. I'm far too pristine of mind to have sexual thoughts.

 

Oh! That was so hard to type with a straight face! :lol:

I actually laughed out loud at that :lol:

[Mergath]

This is a joke, right? :001_huh:

 

Good lord. I have sexual feelings about someone attractive at least once a day. I'm pretty sure that's part of being human. Back when all those Vin Diesel movies were coming out a few years back, it was more like every five minutes, but I'm older now. Not as spry. ;)

 

Seriously, though. All those people who said they've never had sexual thoughts about someone attractive? Um, yeah. You're lying. Or you're a cyborg. Either way.

[Tiffnkids]

I vote other . . .

 

If he is wearing a kilt and vacuuming, then My loins are quivering.

 

Otherwise, no :lol:

[Mommy22alyns]

And do what? Discuss baking soda vs baking powder? Talk up the price of gas? Read Moby Dick out loud together and ponder the meaning of life? Have him scrub toilets and iron?

 

:smilielol5:

[DawnM]

:lol:

 

I remember back about 10 years ago my DH said I was forbidden from watching any more Antonio Bandaras movies! :D

 

Dawn

 

This is a joke, right? :001_huh:

 

Good lord. I have sexual feelings about someone attractive at least once a day. I'm pretty sure that's part of being human. Back when all those Vin Diesel movies were coming out a few years back, it was more like every five minutes, but I'm older now. Not as spry. ;)

 

Seriously, though. All those people who said they've never had sexual thoughts about someone attractive? Um, yeah. You're lying. Or you're a cyborg. Either way.

[Truscifi]

:lol:

 

I remember back about 10 years ago my DH said I was forbidden from watching any more Antonio Bandaras movies! :D

 

Dawn

 

:drool: Antonio Banderas...clearly I answered yes. :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am attracted to certain people but whether it goes beyond a "Oooh, nice." is a mental decision on my part. I choose not to let it go any farther unless my dh is the object of my attraction.

[Mergath]

:lol:

 

I remember back about 10 years ago my DH said I was forbidden from watching any more Antonio Bandaras movies! :D

 

Dawn

 

You just need to make sure he's home immediately after the movie is done and request that he speak to you in a Spanish accent. ;) Although if my huband tried that with me now, I'd be stuck with a mental image of Puss in Boots and a hopeless case of the giggles.

[Tarreymere]

My husband encourages me to watch X-men............just not alone :001_smile:

[Hannah C.]

I voted "yes." HOWEVER: I remember having female friends in high school who swooned over boys and actors all.the.time. I was never, ever like that. I can count on one hand (okay, maybe two) all of the men I have found attractive purely on looks alone. It's happened to me, but rarely.

 

In other words, a pool full of topless guys is highly unlikely to inspire me to thoughts which could be describes as lustful...unless one of them has a *really* nice bod. ;) ;)

[BamaTanya]

And do what? Discuss baking soda vs baking powder? Talk up the price of gas? Read Moby Dick out loud together and ponder the meaning of life? Have him scrub toilets and iron?

 

Well, maybe. Or he could just sit on the counter so I could look at him while I work. Maybe make me a cup of tea. Just tea. :D

 

This is an enlightening thread/discussion.

 

No, I have never felt physical feelings of arousal from visual stimulation (seeing a hot guy). I have an aesthetic appreciation instead.

 

Now, reading a steamy novel is entirely different. Or a romantic movie. Somehow the identification with the character activates my imagination and ...

 

I have, OTOH, felt an instantaneous physical attraction to someone I've just met who was in close proximity. Often this was not someone I would describe as "handsome" or "hot" by looking at a photograph.

 

I used to think it was his voice or just a mysterious "spark." My recent reading has led me to believe that these particular guys had a scent that attracted *me* individually. A friend of mine and I jokingly refer to it now as "the sniff test" (mentioned here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sensoria/201007/dating-mating-and-olfaction). It was completely disconcerting to find yourself feeling dizzy over someone you'd just met and who might not have any of the qualities you had expected to find in someone you thought would be attractive to you.

 

It also explains why you would be introduced to (or randomly meet) someone with great hopes for a relationship only to find there was no spark at all. For no apparent reason.

 

I was a geekish co-ed. I was looking for a particular kind of fellow. And I got quite incensed when my heart/body didn't respond to the kinds of guys my brain wanted it to!

 

BTW: My dc know that it was "love at first sight" with my dh. Not in a totally crazy way because we did finish college and date for 3 years. But there was a "spark" instantly. And those sparks have been flying ever since. :D

[Spy Car]

Of course. Stupid question.

 

Bill (who like the reading Moby Dick idea too :D)

[Night Elf]

Hmm.. I see that some people are interpreting this differently. I answered no because I interpreted this question to ask if I felt s3xual feelings if I see an attractive member of the opposite gender. Truthfully, I see attractive people all over the place. I might appreciate a handsome guy but I just don't think 'wow I want to hop into bed with that guy.' Goodness, I wouldn't trust myself to ever leave my house if that was a problem for me!

 

ETA: I'm still not discerning the difference between a flush/flash/flutter to be 'let's have s3x' or even a vision seared into my head that stays with me all of the time. I did feel something special when I met my DH but I just don't think feeling a warmth to my cheeks or a flutter in my stomach to be the same as passionate s3xual feelings. Maybe it's a different way of thinking about s3xual feelings?

Edited July 26, 2011 by Night Elf

[gaillardia]

Where is OTHER?:001_huh:

This is a fun poll.

I don't know how to multi-quote so many hilarious responses.

I guess my answer is "NO" and I am female.

I don't think like that anymore. I may look at someone, like a cabana boy, and think wow, he's built, or cute, or whatever, but that is as far as I take it, really.

My dh is my flame. Yes, really. I think a lot of people have a hard time understanding that, or believing it.

[YLVD]

Yes, very much so! I love a good looking man! :D

[Maria from IN]

Sure, there are people in this world that are visually attractive, but I'm very happy with what I have at home, so I don't even entertain the idea.

 

Besides, the people around me who are attractive have their own lives--and wives--and thinking about them in that manner is not only disrespectful to my husband, it's disrespectful to their wives as well.

 

In my first marriage, my husband cheated on me with at least 2 women...I know what that feels like, and I wouldn't want to put another woman through that, even by just thinking about their husband.

[Ester Maria]

I am attracted to certain people but whether it goes beyond a "Oooh, nice." is a mental decision on my part. I choose not to let it go any farther unless my dh is the object of my attraction.

:iagree:

 

Definitely, in my case too. A simple mental "statement" to myself of having seen an aesthetically pleasing person is one thing - but whether I further that thought to an erotic level with the accompanying thoughts is a conscious choice. Before I get there, I stop.

[LaxMom]

I appreciate visually attractive people (men and women) in the same way I might appreciate a well decorated room: it may be visually appealing, but not something I would want to live in.

 

Attraction, for me, is much more mental. "Pretty to look at" doesn't do it.

[8circles]

Hmm.. I see that some people are interpreting this differently. I answered no because I interpreted this question to ask if I felt s3xual feelings if I see an attractive member of the opposite gender. Truthfully, I see attractive people all over the place. I might appreciate a handsome guy but I just don't think 'wow I want to hop into bed with that guy.' Goodness, I wouldn't trust myself to ever leave my house if that was a problem for me!

 

ETA: I'm still not discerning the difference between a flush/flash/flutter to be 'let's have s3x' or even a vision seared into my head that stays with me all of the time. I did feel something special when I met my DH but I just don't think feeling a warmth to my cheeks or a flutter in my stomach to be the same as passionate s3xual feelings. Maybe it's a different way of thinking about s3xual feelings?

 

:iagree:I voted no but I understood the question as Elf did.

[mommaduck]

:iagree:

 

Definitely, in my case too. A simple mental "statement" to myself of having seen an aesthetically pleasing person is one thing - but whether I further that thought to an erotic level with the accompanying thoughts is a conscious choice. Before I get there, I stop.

 

:iagree:

[Pretty in Pink]

Sure, I've found myself physically attracted to conventionally handsome men as well as a few not handsome men who possessed other attractive qualities. It's the latter that I am careful about. It's one thing to notice that a guy at the gym has got it going on; it's quite another to realize that you are attracted to someone that you know better and whom you would not have expected to be attracted to.

 

You gals have got to admit that Alan Rickman is not conventionally attractive. But that voice. Gracious.

[annandatje]

Why does the person have to be attractive? ;)

 

They do not. Women are attracted to money, power, and talent.

[mommaduck]

Why does the person have to be attractive? ;)

 

Attraction is subjective. Different women are attracted to different features, just as men are. Some men are attracted to women that have no meat and others are attracted to lots of curves. Some women are attracted to lean men and others are attracted to built men. My rule was always: older, taller, and brown eyes (only once was attracted to someone with blue). If I look back at people that I have been attracted to, my husband and they all share certain traits in the looks department (and ironically, also in the character/personality department).

 

So, who you find attractive may not be who another person finds attractive.

[Impish]

I voted no, but I may have interpreted the question differently than it was meant.

 

First off, these days, I have tunnel vision. I don't think I'd notice Sean Connery flashing me in a kilt and begging to come home and scrub my floors. I'm too busy in my head sorting through what I need to do next to pay attention to anything other than safety issues in the world around me :lol:

 

Second, while I can (or at least used to) notice someone was attractive, that was as far as it went. Like seeing a photo or painting...I can notice its lovely, but have no desire at all to possess it.

 

Part of it is being married. I wake myself up if I even *dream* about someone else about to kiss me. No lie. Its pathetic :lol: Part of it is stress, exhaustion, pregnancy...

 

Now, when I was much younger and single, I can remember being w/girlfriends and checking guys out. Even then, I was pretty detached. I could admire, agree, but that's about as far as it went.

[Veritaserum]

Just to clarify, this poll was a spin-off of the modesty thread(s) where people state the "fact" that "men are visual, women are not." I think our poll disproves that idea (as I knew it would). :)

 

Of course I am more guarded now that I am married, which is why I said "ever" in the question. ;)

[stripe]

So, who you find attractive may not be who another person finds attractive.

My point was not 'my cute is different than your cute' but questioning the assumption that one must fantasize about attractive people. Or does the very act of fantasizing about someone define them as attractive?

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Why does the person have to be attractive? ;)

 

Yes, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.;)

[mommaduck]

My point was not 'my cute is different than your cute' but questioning the assumption that one must fantasize about attractive people. Or does the very act of fantasizing about someone define them as attractive?

 

That's the way I took it.

[Mrs Mungo]

Where is OTHER?:001_huh:

This is a fun poll.

I don't know how to multi-quote so many hilarious responses.

I guess my answer is "NO" and I am female.

I don't think like that anymore. I may look at someone, like a cabana boy, and think wow, he's built, or cute, or whatever, but that is as far as I take it, really.

My dh is my flame. Yes, really. I think a lot of people have a hard time understanding that, or believing it.

 

:confused: But, the question is not "are you always..." it was "have you ever...", wouldn't that include our dhs?

[Pretty in Pink]

My point was not 'my cute is different than your cute' but questioning the assumption that one must fantasize about attractive people. Or does the very act of fantasizing about someone define them as attractive?

 

Yes, I think so.

[meggie]

Of course. How do you think I ended up with three kids? I'm pretty sure they didn't come from the stork or the cabbage patch.

 

I was very much physically attracted to my husband before we got married. I wouldn't have married him if I weren't. I am attracted to him now. With all the TeA problems we had, I imagine it would have been much worse if I had never wanted to.

 

That's just how I interpret the question since it says "EVER" and doesn't say "anyone other than your spouse."

 

Now, so far as other people, yes the thought comes that they are attractive, but I don't dwell on it or let the thought stay and build a nest.

[twoforjoy]

I'm not really sure how to answer. I'm not a super-visual person. I'll certainly notice if a man is very attractive, and appreciate his beauty, but it's pretty unusual for me to feel anything more than an aesthetic appreciation based on physical appearance; it doesn't usually arouse sexual/lustful thoughts in me.