So... Four kids is not MUCH different from three, right? RIGHT?!?

[Old Dominion Heather]

It seems that I am about to find out. I am, according to my calculations, due in January. Ds8 informed his grandfather that the baby is now less than one cubic centimeter.

 

So... questions:

 

1. If I will be thirty-five when I deliver, does that put me in the high-risk category?

 

2. Three to four... how much of a psychological jump for dh and I should I expect?

 

3. Will I ever have a time when I don't have to buy diapers? Because when this kids is born, I'll have been changing diapers for 9+ year. 9+ YEARS!!!

[Tarheel Heather]

:001_smile:

 

Can't help you on the 3 to 4 though. We made sure 3 was it for us!

[Jami]

Well going from 2-3 was tough here. I figure since we survived that we're probably okay with four. And your Bigs will be more help now than they were with #3, right? So that's a bonus. I don't think you're high risk at 35, though your chance of having twins went up a bit. ;)

 

But CONGRATULATIONS!!! You'll be fine. :D

[JennifersLost]

Congratulations!

 

3 to 4 was a breeze for me. Especially because the older ones had gotten so helpful by that time. The costs are negligable until they're school age and it becomes four sets of "activity fees" instead of three. Yikes.

[Colleen]

Congratulations, Heather! I am suffering from serious baby envy of late; so many people I know are having babies. I was holding a newborn at church yesterday and I did not want to give him back!

 

If I will be thirty-five when I deliver, does that put me in the high-risk category?

 

I don't know what age is considered "high risk"; it's so arbitrary, really. I know many, many women who have babies well beyond age 35. It just doesn't seem uncommon these days. I was 35 when my last child was born and I wasn't classified as high risk ~ based on age, anyway.

 

Three to four... how much of a psychological jump for dh and I should I expect?

 

It was no great shakes here.

 

Will I ever have a time when I don't have to buy diapers? Because when this kids is born, I'll have been changing diapers for 9+ years.

 

And?:D I'm in my 13th year ~ and no doubt many here can beat that. I am absolutely in love with some of the great new cloth diapers now available. I was standing there at GreenFest a few weeks ago, gushing over these beautiful diapers and wishing I had a reason to buy them. Ridiculous, I know!:tongue_smilie:

[Whisperlily]

Well, for me... 3 to 4 was MUCH easier than 2 to 3. ;)

 

You're going to love it!

 

Congratulations!!!

[Just a Jen in Mississippi]

Going from 1 to 2 was much harder for me. The 3rd and 4th one just fit right in. Four is a great number of children!! Congrats!!!!!

[clwcain]

Well, we haven't made that jump yet (ds #3 is 10 months old).

 

But my mother did, and several women in our parish have done so (twice over in one case). They all agree -- 3 is the "hump", after that it does get easier.

 

:)

[Sasharowan]

Congratulations! The biggest problem going from 3 to 4 here was the 5 year age gap. My oldest just turned 12. I have had 1 year or less of diaper free since he was born. I was 36 when my last was born, but I think they considered me high risk for my weight more than my age.

[sleepy]

1) not high risk, but they'll probably label you an old momma (can you tell I don't remember the technical term for that?). I delivered my fourth kiddo one month before I turned 35, and my midwife told me that I just barely missed the cutoff for being labelled old. Okay, I looked it up - elderly primagravida.

 

2)the biggest thing to deal with going from 3 to 4, for me, was needing a larger vehicle. Other than that, it's easy... big kids are great helpers!

 

3)You will not stop buying diapers until you stop having babies... :tongue_smilie:

[JFSinIL]

Had kidlet number 4 a month before I turned 37....I do not remember much of her babyhood, though, has I had twin five-yr-old boys (one with autism) and a 2-and a-half-yr-old girl at the same time.

[battlemaiden]

It seems that I am about to find out. I am, according to my calculations, due in January. Ds8 informed his grandfather that the baby is now less than one cubic centimeter.

 

So... questions:

 

1. If I will be thirty-five when I deliver, does that put me in the high-risk category?

 

2. Three to four... how much of a psychological jump for dh and I should I expect?

 

3. Will I ever have a time when I don't have to buy diapers? Because when this kids is born, I'll have been changing diapers for 9+ year. 9+ YEARS!!!

 

Well sweet potatoes! You KNOW I'm happy for you. Yippee, yippee, yippee.

 

Yes, you're advanced maternal age- but it means nothing...trust me.

 

three to four was not a big jump for me.

 

And as for diapers...I'm on year twelve....

 

I'm so happy for you!!!!!!!

 

Jo

[Old Dominion Heather]

Awww. thanks you guys. You all are very reassuring!

[Sena]

Congratulations! Three to four was an easy transition for us and we found our older kids very helpful. Most of the time they still are!

 

Honestly, my biggest challenge has been this year - schooling with an active toddler.

 

I had always heard over 35 was higher risk, but I don't think you are considered high risk until 40.

 

Good luck!

[Quiver0f10]

Congratulations!!! After the 3rd the rest are a breeze :D I don't hold much thought to the over 35 risk stuff and have had 2 over 35, so far.

 

I have been changing diapers for 19.5 years with only a 4 month no diaper-break!

[Cindy in C-ville]

Okay, we have six kiddoes and they arrived within 7 years. For me, the biggest adjustment was with #1 and #4. I felt more pregnant with #4 than I had with any other pregnancy. #4 made me feel like we were now a "large family," which I liked, but it was a different ball game. Now, I did go on to have two more and I'm so glad! We have a great time.

 

:) Cindy

[jmgconner]

Congratulations!!!

 

Going from 2 to 3 was the biggie for me. Most recent addition (in my avatar) has been a breeze. Have fun!

 

Oh, and you probably don't want to hear this, but my best friend turned 35 about a month before she delivered and they put her in the 'advanced maternal age' category. Although, it just meant that she had to say no to extra testing.

[Jennifer in MI]

Congratulations!!!! I had my fourth 2 years ago and it has been a BREEZE!!!! Honestly, my older kids help out SO much!

 

Homeschooling hasn't been too hard until this year. But, she's already showing signs that she wants to do her "school" too. So, maybe next year will be easier as long as I can keep her busy.

 

I had my dd when I was 35 and 2 months and I was considered advanced maternal age. I HATED that term. I was bugged a bit to do extra testing, but I just turned it all down. No biggie! Her delivery was my easiest physically (mentally demanding, but that had nothing to do with my age!).

 

Oh - and diapers. I'm going on year 12 with only a year long break in the middle. Not a huge deal. We use cloth, so I've been able to re-use them.

 

I do remember with this past pregnancy, I did need naps every day. The tv was my best friend! I'd flip on PBS and sleep. It helped a LOT!!!

 

I'm only a little bit jealous!!!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Congratulations! Only really new thing to add is that being over 35 is mainly considered high risk if it is your first baby. 4th baby - no sweat!

[KidsHappen]

The jump from 5 to 6 was the hard one for me. I changed diapers for 20 years but that seems like a life time ago. I actually miss putting a fresh, clean diaper on a baby followed by a little belly blow. Enjoy them while they're young! :)

[Kim in Appalachia]

I think what makes it hard, when adding another child, is the age of the other children. When you have a few older ones it isn't as bad as having 3 or 4 under 6.

 

As for the high risk thing, yes, your doctor will put you down as high risk since you will be over 35 when you deliver.

 

As for the diapers ending, I'm still waiting. My youngest is 3, so I'm hopeful that by the end of summer we will be a diaper free household!

 

I think the carseats are worse than diapers. I can't wait to be out of those. (in TN the age is 9, so I have a while to go).

[Andie]

:hurray:

How exciting! Three to four was a bit of an adjustment for me, but that's because of the five year gap, not the number of kids, I think. After the third, really...it's no big deal.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Oh, wow, serious congratulations!

 

Hugs to you.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Congratulations!!!!

 

You are already out of enough hands, what's the difference?:D

[susie in tx]

Congratulations!

 

I found that going from 3 to 4 was relatively simple, though it could have something to do with the temperaments of both numbers 3 and 4.

 

I have had a break from diapers for over a year now, but I'd been changing diapers for over 10 years before that. Oh, and either been nursing or pregnant or both for those same ten years.

 

My last pregnancy may have let me just sneak under the wire on the 35 thing, but I'm most definitely over this time. I find that I feel a lot more pregnant this time.

 

Here's to an uncomplicated pregnancy with a healthy baby at the end of the line. :grouphug:

[Jami]

:hurray:

How exciting! Three to four was a bit of an adjustment for me, but that's because of the five year gap, not the number of kids, I think. After the third, really...it's no big deal.

 

 

Ack! Don't say things like that Andie! You're supposed to say that a fourth after a nice 4.5-5 year break was perfect.

[Jennifer in NH]

Congratulations!

 

We are only at 3 and since I'm 43 it probably won't go any higher.

However, I didn't have my 1st until after 35 and they didn't do too much more than being 30. it was when i was 40 and pregnant that my OBGYNs absolutly went beserk! If i do ever get pregnant again, I'm not so sure I really want to tell a doctor.;)

[Miss Marple]

Congrats! Number 3 was the tough one for me. Number 4 was smooth.

[Storm Bay]

Well, I had all 3 of my kids elderly primagravida, because I had my first at 35 and my last at 40. And a cool MD who never forced me to take any test I didn't want to (the amnio was the biggie I didn't want that was asked for, and I never had one.) We stopped at 3, but all the parents I know with 4 or more agree with 3 to 4 being an easier transition. At any rate, you'll be finding out for yourself--Congratulations!!!

[TXMomof4]

I went from 3 to 4 while dh was deployed. He was here for the birth, then left for another 6 months. I survived. Even enjoyed most of it. Now, going from 2 to 3 was a different matter. That was the hardest transition by far for me.

[M&M]

Going from 3 to 4 and 4 to 5 were much easier than I thought. As my older dh become more responsible and want to help, life becomes much eaiser.

 

As for being older, I have had 3 children when I was over the age of 35 and I have had no problems. As others have suggested, I did not go for all of the "high risk" testing. I acted like it was normal to have a baby at 41, and my doctors followed suit.

 

Congratulations!!!

[M&M]

Congratulations, Heather! I am suffering from serious baby envy of late; so many people I know are having babies. I was holding a newborn at church yesterday and I did not want to give him back! [/quote}

 

Oh boy can I relate! Sophia just turned 2 and I don't know what to do with myself!

[*anj*]

It's different, but not worse. Come on in, the water's fine!!!

[Vida Winter]

I was 33 when I had my first child, just about 44 with my last. No problems here.

 

But the 3 to 4 child thing *will* affect what you drive. We have five all in all but the first two are grown ups now so don't affect our passenger count unless they come to visit at the same time. Then we need to take two vehicles or rent an extra car to go on vacation.

 

Honestly, the passenger count thing has been the biggest thing for our family, especially when our kids always want to bring an extra kid along.

If I had my way I'd just drive a bus, but we instead tailor our guests to those who we can accommodate.

[Sue G in PA]

but 35 is not high risk in and of itself. I'm 35, about to deliver and my midwife doesn't really classify based on age. It's all about maternal health. As to going from 3 to 4...piece of cake here. It was 2 to 3 that really threw me for a loop. Sure glad THAT is over. My dh put it quite eloquently, baksetball coach that he is: Going from 2 to 3 is like going from man-to-man defense to "zone" defense. Any more after 3 is just adding "men" to the "zone". No biggie. He's quite the comedian. :lol: Anyway, congrats to you! Babies are fun...if and when they EVER come out. :glare:

[Amy loves Bud]

Congratulations, Heather! Another baby is such a reason to rejoice!

 

About the risk. The risk gradually increases with age. The reason 35 was chosen is that this is the age that the risk of a chromosomal anomaly outweighs the risk of miscarriage due to amnio - roughly 1/200. There is no big jump in risk at that age, it's just that this is the point where it seemed to make sense to do the amnio. However, these numbers are old, and I'm guessing the risk of amnio is much less due to advances in imaging technology, but they haven't studied the risk more recently. I'm guessing if they did that 29 would be considered high risk! I hope that makes sense.

 

And let me tell you, it is quite shocking to go back to diapers after four or five diaper free years, so I wouldn't worry about the diaper thing too much!

 

I'm happy for you - a new baby, just under a cubic centimeter! A wonderful thing!

[beansprouts]

I tend to think 3 to 5 is all about the same. Like Sue suggested - once you're outnumbered, who's counting?

Then again, we've stopped with 3...

 

Four does mean a car won't hold you all. Over 5 and you graduate from the minivan.

[Janna]

I can't help you with the transitioning though. I will be transitioning from the "dreaded" 2-3 here myself within the next few weeks. From all that I've heard, that is the more difficult one and any subsequent children are a breeze.

 

Regardless of how it goes, it's a blessing and I'm very excited for you! :D

[Mama Bear]

Once you've transitioned from 2-3, you've got the experience you need. As someone once put it: "Once you've moved from man-to-man to zone defense, it's not much different."

 

Having a little space between 3 and 4 will help too.

 

Congrats, you!!! :D

[Kelli in TN]

It seems that I am about to find out. I am, according to my calculations, due in January. Ds8 informed his grandfather that the baby is now less than one cubic centimeter.

 

So... questions:

 

1. If I will be thirty-five when I deliver, does that put me in the high-risk category?

 

2. Three to four... how much of a psychological jump for dh and I should I expect?

 

3. Will I ever have a time when I don't have to buy diapers? Because when this kids is born, I'll have been changing diapers for 9+ year. 9+ YEARS!!!

 

1. The doctor may be more watchful, but I doubt you have reason to be concerned.

 

2. Really, four was not a big jump.

 

3. I have six kids and I no longer buy diapers.:001_smile:

 

 

Now, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

[Doran]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

 

I can't, personally, imagine having four kids, so I'm pleased that there are people in this world who can, so I can be pleased for them :D. As for the diaper changing bit....um, I think it's a bit too late to be asking that particular question. Talk to me in about 2 years.

 

 

I'm sure you'll do just great, Heather.

[Colleen]

Oh boy can I relate! Sophia just turned 2 and I don't know what to do with myself!

 

I talked about this here several times when Kai was younger. I wondered when I'd stop feeling like I'm supposed to have another. A lot of people said they moved beyond that when their youngest was 3-ish or so. That's what I expected to have happen. In reality, I've suddenly been hit with this major baby longing. Every single day it strikes me that I'm *this* far away from not having a little person whose toes and ears are still cute enough to kiss. I'm *this* close to not having anyone talk to me in toddler/pre-schooler speak. And it just...takes my breath away.:crying: The older my guys get, the more patience I have for all things baby/todder-ish. I feel like I have these reserves waiting to be expended. Now I understand my friends with older kids who look forward with longing to grandchildren.

[Old Dominion Heather]

Well, heck, Colleen...

 

If you have five, six can't be that much of a jump! And you probably still have the baby clothes. Assuming you got another boy, it seems as though you have nothing to lose! (except sleep, time, and sanity) But really, sanity is overrated!

[Old Dominion Heather]

You guys are all so sweet... I'll have to bookmark this to read when I get panicky!

[M&M]

I think that medically it would be very difficult for Colleen to have another baby. Which is why it is really hard for her.

 

Hope I am not speaking out of turn ((Colleen))

[TracyR]

How exciting . 2 to 3 was difficult . But once I got to 3 to 4 it wasn't bad at all and my girls are pretty close in age . Congratulations ! Really 4 is a great number !

[M&M]

 

Every single day it strikes me that I'm *this* far away from not having a little person whose toes and ears are still cute enough to kiss. I'm *this* close to not having anyone talk to me in toddler/pre-schooler speak. And it just...takes my breath away.:crying: The older my guys get, the more patience I have for all things baby/todder-ish. I feel like I have these reserves waiting to be expended. Now I understand my friends with older kids who look forward with longing to grandchildren.

 

 

I understand. I just turned 43 the week after Sophia's b-day and I don't know if I can/should have another baby. But, well... what you said...I just love those baby feet!

 

((Hugs))

[SkateLeft]

Congratulations!! :)

 

Other people have answered the other questions, so I'll just tell you that in my experience going from 3 to 4 was easy, peasy. (A 4th c-section was the hardest part, in my case.) My little guy is a blast, and I can't imagine not having him around. And I was already outnumbered, so what's one more? :D

 

For me, going from none to 1 was the hardest because she was a surprise and I was so NOT ready to have kids!

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm 35, I had my kids fairly young. I would looooove to have more but hubby says no. Did I tell you all he listed our baby stuff for sale on Craig's list without telling me? People were calling and asking about the crib for sale and I was saying "sorry, wrong number!" After about the fifth call I called hubby on his cell and asked about it. Indeed, he had listed them. I recently shipped my cloth diapers off to my pregnant sister. They were the very last of my baby things. I was so sad to see them go.

 

So, I shall live vicariously. Congratulations, Heather!

[AudreyTN]

I haven't read all the replies, but this is how I explain it to people...

 

1 to 2 is the hardest because you have to learn how to divide your attention.

 

2 to 3 is a little better but now they outnumber you

 

3 to 4 is like... uh... are you sure we have another kid?

 

Seriously, when we went from 3 to 4, it was like no change at all. I mean except the normal newborn stuff.