AlmiraGulch Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 My 14 yo dd lost her retainer, and then she didn't tell me until the Orthodontist was telling me it was going to be $500 to replace. My first reaction was oh, well, too bad, no new retainer, because I do NOT have $500 laying around to replace it. My sister says that's stupid because if it isn't replaced then the $6500 I paid for the braces is wasted. I see her point, but I really don't have an extra $500, especially considering my house just flooded after a pipe burst while I was out of town this week and that's $1000 for the insurance deductible, plus Christmas, plus annual HOA dues, plus an unexpected $700 car repair...you get the picture. So I've decided to get the retainer (the Ortho has agreed to a payment plan) but I'm making DD work it off. At $7.25 an hour (minimum wage), that's 69 hours worth of work she's going to have to do for me to pay it off. She doesn't have to do it all at once, but she will be responsible for working it off in a timely manner, and for tracking it. I'm giving her 6 weeks, which is approximately 12 hours per week. She doesn't really have normal, set chores...she just normally does whatever I ask her to do (which honestly, is hardly anything). My sister weighed in again and said she thinks that's harsh, that anyone, including me, could lose a retainer. I said yes, we could, but then we'd have to pay to replace it. At 14, she should be able to keep track of her things. I guarantee she wouldn't lose her iPod so easily. What say the Hive? And what types of things would you have her do to work it off, if anything outside the normal stuff? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabrett Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 $500 for a new retainer? That is awfully expensive. Have you tried calling other ortho's and see if one would make one for you cheaper? Just a thought...I wonder if those moldable nighttime mouth pieces for people who grind their teeth would work if she wore it at night. I only wear my retainer at night even though I have been told to wear it all day and I have not had a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 19, 2010 Author Share Posted December 19, 2010 It IS a lot, but that's what it is. To my knowledge, no one else will just make it for her since they didn't treat her. I've heard of what you're talking about, but I don't think that will work. Her front teeth are already starting to go crooked again, so I think she definitely needs the metal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 I am with you... I think she should pay it off in some way. That is just too much to loose and I am sure you are right that she wouldn't loose her ipod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 Honestly, I don't think that is harsh. In fact, I just did the same thing, but on a much smaller scale. My DD just finished working off a $5 book from the library that she lost. She did 5 jobs for me and that paid for it. Yes, sometimes things get lost, and sometimes it is a mistake. But other times, it is carelessness. Either way, the "thing" has to be replaced, regardless of the reason. Although, I have to say, I've seen my own children take great care with things that they save up for and buy with their own money. I'd wager that your DD does not lose her retainer again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 19, 2010 Author Share Posted December 19, 2010 I'd wager that your DD does not lose her retainer again! That's my thought exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngieW in Texas Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 I would probably do the same, but make her pay for only half. If she ever lost another one, that one would have to be paid off in full. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 I think our orthodontist will make one free replacement retainer in case of loss. After that, the patient's family has to pay. I've had my children work for me to earn money for things. Right now my daughter is trying to earn the money to pay for half of next summer's ballet intensive. I'm generous with my pay (she gets $1 each time she swims across our rec center pool, which means she can make up to $60 in less than an hour), and the jobs are often something that will benefit them or at least improve their standard of living (like cleaning the house). I would certainly make them pay for a lost retainer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 19, 2010 Author Share Posted December 19, 2010 I think our orthodontist will make one free replacement retainer in case of loss. After that, the patient's family has to pay. I've had my children work for me to earn money for things. Right now my daughter is trying to earn the money to pay for half of next summer's ballet intensive. I'm generous with my pay (she gets $1 each time she swims across our rec center pool, which means she can make up to $60 in less than an hour), and the jobs are often something that will benefit them or at least improve their standard of living (like cleaning the house). I would certainly make them pay for a lost retainer. I could have sworn that our Ortho did one free replacement retainer. There is a three ring binder in the waiting area with all of these letters that the patients have written explaining how they lost their retainers and why they need a new one. It was my understanding that the letter was the requirement for the 1st replacement, but then maybe that has changed. I don't know. It isn't in my contract. Maybe I should grovel and he'll take pity on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted December 19, 2010 Share Posted December 19, 2010 (edited) My 14 yo dd lost her retainer, and then she didn't tell me until the Orthodontist was telling me it was going to be $500 to replace. My first reaction was oh, well, too bad, no new retainer, because I do NOT have $500 laying around to replace it. My sister says that's stupid because if it isn't replaced then the $6500 I paid for the braces is wasted. I see her point, but I really don't have an extra $500, especially considering my house just flooded after a pipe burst while I was out of town this week and that's $1000 for the insurance deductible, plus Christmas, plus annual HOA dues, plus an unexpected $700 car repair...you get the picture. So I've decided to get the retainer (the Ortho has agreed to a payment plan) but I'm making DD work it off. At $7.25 an hour (minimum wage), that's 69 hours worth of work she's going to have to do for me to pay it off. She doesn't have to do it all at once, but she will be responsible for working it off in a timely manner, and for tracking it. I'm giving her 6 weeks, which is approximately 12 hours per week. She doesn't really have normal, set chores...she just normally does whatever I ask her to do (which honestly, is hardly anything). My sister weighed in again and said she thinks that's harsh, that anyone, including me, could lose a retainer. I said yes, we could, but then we'd have to pay to replace it. At 14, she should be able to keep track of her things. I guarantee she wouldn't lose her iPod so easily. What say the Hive? And what types of things would you have her do to work it off, if anything outside the normal stuff? Since your sister is good at contributing her opinion to your parenting, you should ask her if she's willing to contribute something more, um, substantive? :glare: This summer, my nephew (13 yo) was at an amusement park, riding on the rides with his older brother (15 yo). Before getting on one of the rides, their dad said, "Hey, _____, let me hold onto your glasses for that one." But the boy said, "Nah, I don't need that," and ran off to get in line. On the ride, he handed his glasses to his brother, who put them in his pocket. By the end of the ride, the glasses were gone. My brother-in-law made _________ spend his birthday money to buy a new pair of glasses. Lesson learned. There's nothing harsher about life's lessons than there is about life. Edited December 19, 2010 by Sahamamama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 19, 2010 Author Share Posted December 19, 2010 Since your sister is good at contributing her opinion to your parenting, you should ask her if she's willing to contribute something more, um, substantive? :glare: :lol::lol: I don't really mind her opinion, though. She isn't pushing it, just voicing what she would do, and sometimes it makes me think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 I'd give her big jobs, things you have not had time to do. Have you always wanted a veg. garden? Let her dig the plot. Rooms need painting? Instant job. I'd also give her the option of repaying the debt by selling some of her stuff. She could sell the ipod, for example. I'd let her know, too that if she loses the next one, she is on her own and you will not help her get the money to replace it and you will not be paying for more braces. There are plenty of perfectly healthy people in the world who have crooked teeth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 It IS a lot, but that's what it is. To my knowledge, no one else will just make it for her since they didn't treat her. Yes, they will. I needed a new one after my old orthodontist moved away, and it was no problem getting another orthodontist to make one for me. That said, the new one never fit properly and I really wished my original dentist had been around to make and fit the new one. Cat PS. I know how easy it is to lose a retainer, so I wouldn't normally suggest making your dd pay for a new one. But... she knew it was lost and didn't tell you, which was deceitful, so now I'm not sure what I'd do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Well, at our house it is undoubtedly ME who would have lost the darn thing. I'd be more upset that she didn't tell me right away. You do need to get a new one or undo all the ortho work and she should help in replacement but for being untruthful not being forgetful. Now to find my keys....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 It was my understanding that the letter was the requirement for the 1st replacement, but then maybe that has changed. I don't know. It isn't in my contract. Maybe I should grovel and he'll take pity on me. It's definitely worth a shot. All he can say is no. $500 is a lot of money! Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Our ortho offered insurance and we bought it. It was good for one replacement. After that, you had to pay. My son not only went through the insurance, but lost his retainer twice more and had to pay for them out of his own money. His were $300 - each time. I think you are being very fair to make her work it off at minimum wage. I think that it will help her remember to keep up with it better in future.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Not harsh at all. My 16 year old has never lost her retainer. 12 year old gets her braces put on Thursday. If either of them lose their retainers, I will make them work off every penny, and my garden will be the envy of the entire neighborhood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) And here I thought the $200 our ortho would charge was high! I did not know he made only those clear retainers instead of the wire thingie I had back in the day. Our dentist repaired a chipped tooth two days after the mold was done for the retainer - of course then the retainer did not fit - but we were not charged for the replacement that had to be made since no one had told me what kind of retainer they were making! I am assuming all retainers nowadays are these form-fitting clear plastic things? Which my kids hate (they say drool collects in them - yuck!) ANYONE still get the kind of retainer that had a plastic part that went against the palate, and a stiff wire that curved around the front teeth??? Do orthos prefer the new kind because they work better...or because they cost more???? Edited December 20, 2010 by JFSinIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) We have not had to replace a retainer, but we have gotten several notices from our dentist reminding us that the # 1 way retainers are lost is because kids wrap them in napkins at resturants & in school cafeterias where they are accidently tossed away. They tell the kids to never, ever wrap them in a napkin, and to only put them in their cases, and then in their pockets, purses, or backpacks. Our ortho allows one lost retainer without extra cost. Edited December 20, 2010 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Stick to your guns, Mom. My son did this at 11. His retainer was $150 to replace. We had him pay half (he had the money from birthdays and stuff) and he had to work off the other half. He became much more responsible for his stuff after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 I would probably do the same, but make her pay for only half. If she ever lost another one, that one would have to be paid off in full. This was what popped into my head as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Ds lost his and had to pay for the whole thing. I told him not to take it out and he insisted he couldn't eat with it. He left it on the able at a restaurant wrapped up in a napkin. (It looked just like the one I ate with, back in the day. Eating with it was simply not a challenge.) Fortunately, he was already 15 and lifeguarding, so he could pay for it. He actually went back and searched their garbage first, though. I'd give her big jobs, things you have not had time to do. Have you always wanted a veg. garden? Let her dig the plot. Rooms need painting? Instant job. Definitely this. I don't suddenly start paying for regular chores just because dc has a debt to pay off. They still have to do the regular stuff. Our standard rule is if they lose it, they pay to replace it (whatever it is). Doing without isn't an option, if it was something I decided was worth buying in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colleenebeans Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 As one of the kids that did lose my retainer, me having to face my parents when I knew that we were financially strapped was punishment all in its self. I felt absolutely horrible! I didnt do it on purpose, it was an accident and my parents were so disappointed in me. They sat me down and let me know how disappointed they were and how they also understood. Then they gave me an hour to come up with an acceptable solution. I think I ended up working it off to pay for half and then come up with some habits to not let it happen again or I would pay for the whole thing. I was sooo relieved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 If it were my child, I would have him/her be responsible for 1/2 the cost. But I would have him/her do REAL work for me, like filing my receipts, adding up my grocery costs for me into Excel, cleaning out the pantry, refolding all the clothes in the closet, cleaning out the garage...things that I HATE doing but need getting done. And I would pay her a little more than minimum for the book keeping :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 A $500 retainer? Wowsa! That's more than I've ever heard of! Our retainer replacements are $50-$75, I think. Our policy is that if it were lost/damaged due to carelessness, kid would have to pay. But $500? While I think she should be responsible for a portion of it, that's a lotta cash... I'd have to really think that one through. Maybe split the cost this time, but if it happened again, her dime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 My 14 year old daughter will be getting a retainer in the next few months and I have already warned her that if she loses it she is paying for a new one. I don't think there is anything wrong with having your child be responsible for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Ah, the memories of lost retainers! When I worked at Burger King, not a week went by without some unfortunate soul digging through the garbage looking for a retainer, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 As one of the kids that did lose my retainer, me having to face my parents when I knew that we were financially strapped was punishment all in its self. I felt absolutely horrible! I didnt do it on purpose, it was an accident and my parents were so disappointed in me. They sat me down and let me know how disappointed they were and how they also understood. Then they gave me an hour to come up with an acceptable solution. I think I ended up working it off to pay for half and then come up with some habits to not let it happen again or I would pay for the whole thing. I was sooo relieved. What a great approach! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Bingo! And after going through a HUGE trash can out back at a Ryan's (oh, it was SO gross!) one Sunday when my son did that - to no avail - he was told that if he ever did it again he would pay, since that loss used up the insurance. He had already thrown it away in a napkin at Chuck-E-Cheese but had retreived it in time. Then he wrapped it in a napkin at a Mexican restaurant and it was gone. The last time, he couldnt' find it, but had it on his lap and dumped it out of the car into the garage, where I ran over it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datgh Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 I would do what you're doing. My son gets his braces off this week and I have already been warning him that if he looses a retainer he pays for the replacement. Being the wonderful Mom that I am, I just read many of the responses to this post to him proving that all his friends Mom's would agree with me should he misplace it.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Sounds reasonable to me and exactly what I would do if my 14yo son lost his retainer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovemy6kids Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 My dd just lost her retainers, I had her call the dentist and tell them that she needed new ones and would be paying for them. They only charged us 200.00. I would call and try to lower the price. It can't hurt to try. Sheri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 The easiest way to minimize the chances of losing a very expensive retainer is to buy lots of cheap cases for it. When dd had to wear her retainer 24/7, we had a case for home, a case for my car and dh's truck, and a case in my purse. Even her granny had a case. Notice how the word "napkin" keeps appearing in lost retainer stories? Kids have to do something with their retainer when they eat, and they are much less likely to throw away a retainer in a brightly colored case than a retainer wrapped in a napking. dd's ortho was adamant that she NEVER eat ANYTHING with the retainer in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Can you shop around for the retainer? Calvin was warned that his would be £75 to replace if he lost it; that's a lot less than 500 dollars. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 (edited) My 14 yo dd lost her retainer, and then she didn't tell me until the Orthodontist was telling me it was going to be $500 to replace. My first reaction was oh, well, too bad, no new retainer, because I do NOT have $500 laying around to replace it. My sister says that's stupid because if it isn't replaced then the $6500 I paid for the braces is wasted. I see her point, but I really don't have an extra $500, especially considering my house just flooded after a pipe burst while I was out of town this week and that's $1000 for the insurance deductible, plus Christmas, plus annual HOA dues, plus an unexpected $700 car repair...you get the picture. So I've decided to get the retainer (the Ortho has agreed to a payment plan) but I'm making DD work it off. At $7.25 an hour (minimum wage), that's 69 hours worth of work she's going to have to do for me to pay it off. She doesn't have to do it all at once, but she will be responsible for working it off in a timely manner, and for tracking it. I'm giving her 6 weeks, which is approximately 12 hours per week. She doesn't really have normal, set chores...she just normally does whatever I ask her to do (which honestly, is hardly anything). My sister weighed in again and said she thinks that's harsh, that anyone, including me, could lose a retainer. I said yes, we could, but then we'd have to pay to replace it. At 14, she should be able to keep track of her things. I guarantee she wouldn't lose her iPod so easily. What say the Hive? And what types of things would you have her do to work it off, if anything outside the normal stuff? Well, if you pay her for working it off -- it is still your money correct? That gives the impression that you are an inexhaustible source of funds, but are meanly trying to punish for an accident. Frankly, I'd have her pay for it by taking her iPod and selling it for her. Using any gift money she might receive to pay you back. Having her work outside the house, if possible. IMO, even a partial payment of money she has rally contributed sends a more effective message than paying her to pay you. As one of the kids that did lose my retainer, me having to face my parents when I knew that we were financially strapped was punishment all in its self. I felt absolutely horrible! I didnt do it on purpose, it was an accident and my parents were so disappointed in me. They sat me down and let me know how disappointed they were and how they also understood. Then they gave me an hour to come up with an acceptable solution. I think I ended up working it off to pay for half and then come up with some habits to not let it happen again or I would pay for the whole thing. I was sooo relieved. I like this! (It sounds as though your work was not paid for by your parents.) Edited December 20, 2010 by Alessandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 My 14yo would pay for his retainer if he lost it. (I think it is about $250 at our ortho). BTW, we told him this when we got the retainer. I posted a couple of weeks ago about whether or not to ask our 17yo to pay for the damages for putting diesel into our van. We ended up not asking her to pay anything, partly b/c we felt that there hadn't been an expectation up front. Still need to have that conversation w/ dd about any future damages...I want the expectations to be clear! We have a $1000 deductible for any body damage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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