Need to ask a question...No flames please

[Catwoman]

People who have Type 1 diabetes can eat anything that you do but carbs need to be covered with insulin, Your body will naturally give the right amount of insulin when you eat a bean salad but my daughters does not make insulin anymore so I need to have her insulin pump give that to her when she eats a carbohydrate. We do not need to eat special food at all other than the normal food that everyone else should eat.

Again, Type 1 diabetes was not caused by anything this child ate. It is a autoimmune condition.

When carbs are eaten then insulin needs to be given.

 

Thank you so much for your posts about Type 1 diabetes. I have to admit that I never knew the difference between Type 1 and Type 2, and you've explained it so well. I don't think I know anyone with Type 1, so I was clueless about it, but now I understand that it's not food-related.

 

I thought diet was an important factor in all diabetes, and I think that may be a common misconception (or else I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm not the only one who didn't know...) so I'm glad you posted about it.

 

Cat

[specialmama]

If her son does not have sensory issues or special needs, then she is enabling her kids... like a mom I know who has a child addicted to Pepsi at the age of 3. The kid will not drink anything else. No water, no milk, no juice. It is child abuse. Then there are people like me who have a legitimate case on their hands and cringe when people judge us. My son with severe autism eats only a handful of foods, all of them beige. Do her kids have autism or sensory dysfunction, Nakia? My son's diet is actually okay now, after years of feeding clinics and OTs and us "pairing" foods for him. His intake of quality and quantitiy has been analyzed and is better than most diets of kids his age.

[Pippen]

I also have one with sensory issues who when younger would eat only very specific foods, and those foods would rotate. We'd always carry into situations like this. We worked to find something as close to what the other kids were eating--breadsticks instead of pizza, hard shell tacos with a little cheese and nothing else. I never wanted his meal to look more appealing so other kids would feel cheated so I wouldn't have been carrying in McD's but would bring from home.

 

It was always very heavy on carbs and dairy--still is. But I worked to keep those as acceptable as possible...ie to satisfy crunchy carb cravings we'd keep cereal but not chips around. During periods of high sensory overload I was just glad to get food into the kid, period.

 

It's hard. I'm sure I would have been very judgmental had it not happened under my roof.

[Catwoman]

Yes. Exactly. If I were in this situation, I'd have no qualms telling the mom that I completely understood her desire to bring a separate meal for her children, but that McDonalds would not be permitted. It causes too much strife among the other kids, and it's also just not healthy.

 

I don't think Nakia wants to be the Food Police and tell the mom what she can or can not feed her own child, and quite frankly, I don't think she has the right to do that.

 

I have been in situations where I've had to stop at the last minute and pick up sandwiches for a homeschool group event. One time, I was only feeding myself and my ds, yet received unkind stares and comments from other moms because there was lunch meat on the sandwiches, the rolls weren't whole wheat, my son was drinking a soda (:eek:) and eating some chips.

 

It was like I'd committed a capital crime.

 

And it was none of their business.

 

I'm sorry. I didn't have a chance to milk my own goats and grind my own wheat that morning or go out to my huge organic garden and make incredibly healthy food choices like the rest of the moms obviously did.:glare: It's pretty clear that I was intentionally trying to kill my child by giving him deadly processed foods. Once.

 

But I wasn't forcing their kids to eat it.

 

My ds had an extra bag of chips and asked the mom of the kid sitting across from him if he could offer it to her son, and she acted like he'd offered to give him cyanide. (And he did ask the mom, not the kid.)

 

So that's why I'm a little sensitive to why we shouldn't tell a mom what her own kids can or can't eat.

 

Cat

Edited December 10, 2010 by Catwoman

[jg_puppy]

 

[Carrie12345]

I totally get the sensory thing, and the special needs of kids with autism.

But I guess where I get stuck is, what would they eat if they had never been introduced to the junky foods? I often give advice to my employer, who has a dear little 2 yo--and one of the things I'm so tempted to say is, "Be super-careful of what you feed her and how you get her to go to sleep, as habits are VERY hard to break! If you don't want your kids to choose hotdogs and McD's, don't EVER give them that. If you don't want to lie down with them to get them to sleep, don't EVER do that!" And so on, with other things like that.

 

Who can do that, really? I mean, should parents just assume that there's the possibility that their kids might be sensory-sensitive, or choose junk, or whatever, so they just should NEVER offer that? It's kinda like, don't EVER drink alcohol, because you might be a genetic alcoholic, and start down a path you don't want to go on, with that first drink! (Actually, I DO know some folks that do this one.)

 

I just find it interesting. I guess if I had a kid who refused to eat as a child, and was losing weight, I'd want to offer whatever they'd eat! But how do you GET there, in the first place?

 

In ds's case, it was a very gradual slippery slope. I don't think he had a french fry until he was nearly 4, but he became adept at picking out the potatoes and pasta from his well-balanced meals and leaving the rest WAY before then. A sandwich would wind up being torn apart with the bread eaten and insides ignored. Oatmeal would be gobbled up after he'd spent 20 minutes picking out each and every raisin.

 

He ate extremely well as a small toddler, me being a very OCD first-time mom, lol. But as he got older, he gravitated to the least nutritional items on an otherwise respectable plate. When his ribs were so visable that I was nervous about taking him swimming in public, I did finally reach the point where getting *anything* into him was better than nothing.

 

On the bright side, years of persistance has brought improvement. Like I said before, he's still picky, and he'd be thrilled to be allowed to eat McDonalds all the time, but his eating habits are closer to normal than they've been in nearly a decade.

 

There's "giving in" and there's "giving up". Two VERY different things!

[In the Rain]

So this concept of a child eating only a hand-full of unhealthy foods is foreign to me. Do you all have kids like this?

 

I guess I am lucky my kids are "good little eaters" as they are often called in public. ;) This thread has been interesting though. It is a good reminder that not all kids are picky because they are catered to and given junk food, although some surely are.

 

:grouphug: for all of you trying so hard to feed your picky eaters a balanced meal!

[Chris in VA]

Thank you so much to all the folks who are educating me this morning! :001_smile: I'm glad this thread has remained respectful and compassionate. I have plenty on my plate (so to speak! LOL), but I have to say I'm glad I was not blessed with the challenge of the kinda scary food stuff some of you have. :grouphug: I guess we all have something.

[Pippen]

I was going to say that my typical kids eat most everything but some conditions change the rules. There are kids who really will starve themselves to death.

.

 

I've known of kids with sensory issues who had to be hospitalized because they developed food phobias and they quit eating.

[SonshineLearner]

My son got Pepsi in his bottle... starting with a trip to a spot pretty far away that we were driving. My husband was drinking it... and he was screaming for it. (Oops... mistake of letting him have a sip) I was pretty healthy with my daughter... (when we saw candy at the check out... I said... Ew..... yuckkkky... we don't like it!!) And she believed me till I married my husband... with his 6 and 9 year old. First time they heard me say that, they said... "yes we do!!". Anyway.... My son likes such a small amount of food. I have started MAKING him eat some types of food this year... and he will.... but he still doesn't like it.

McDonald's is on his "like" list. He will eat chx nuggets.... he will eat no other meat like hamburger..... and of course... he'll eat steak.... What can I say.. he's picky.... My other kids eat anything. (well.... most everything)

[Mom2J112903]

J gets to eat processed white carbs because well, if he eats raw fruits and vegetables we have a very serious GI issue on our hands. Broke my heart to hear that he would never get to eat an apple or raw spinach ever again. My child lived on fruits, of any kind, would put a grown man to shame on how much salad he would eat. Now he eats processed, low-fat, low-fiber foods. That isn't a lot, so yeah, some would look at his plate and think what a terrible Mother am I, but it is just the opposite.

[Cinder]

IDK, but I will say that I truly believe there is something in McD's food that is addictive. Not some secret ingredient or anything, I just am well-aware that I always want it the next day when I eat it, particularly the fries and the burgers. I think one day they will find it triggers something in the brain of food addicts!

 

 

I have no doubt this is true. Back in college, my now-dh took a class on alcohol and drug abuse. They learned all about addictive substances and how we react to them. The prof told them a major food manufacturer had made him a very lucrative offer to work for them. He turned it down, but you just know they got *someone* to help them develop foods that make you crave them.

 

As to the OP, I have a son who for many years would only eat certain foods--he loooooved junk food. We didn't cater to that, though. We still offered him what we were eating and he could choose to eat it or not. If not, he got nothing until the next meal. He still loves and prefers junk but has now gotten to the point where he actually likes spaghetti (that happened around 14yo) and will tolerate salad. He still doesn't like chicken unless it's a wing or a nugget.

 

Cinder

[secular_mom]

There are so many kids with food issues these days- lots of it is sensory. I have a couple of kids who can't eat at all if there are certain smells in the house. My oldest can't stand the smell of cheese unless it's homemade pizza- take out pizza is a big no-no or she'll just wait until the smell has dissipated to make herself something else to eat. Childrens taste buds are so much more sensitive than adults are too.

This situation is a party for kids, so I can see the parents deciding to get their kids food from McDonald's as their alternative and I wouldn't have any problem with it (well, my kids would want the chicken nuggets too, LOL so it could cause a slight problem but my kids understand when we say 'we don't have any money for McDonald's right now' so it wouldn't be a big deal).

 

It's really hard for parents with kids who have food issues- it gets to a point where you're just happy if they eat ANY thing- it's definitely healthier for children to eat than to not eat, right?

[Mandy in TN]

I'm looking for practical advice. What should I do when my kid doesn't eat for days, steals food in the middle of the night, and vomits on his plate? I am being serious. No I don't give in with McDonald's but food issues around here are BAD with him (nobody else). I think some people truly do not understand a situation like this unless they are in it.

 

Quirks=sensory issues around here. Have you ever taken him in for sensory processing disorder?

:iagree: It wouldn't hurt to ask.

 

It is very easy to judge other parents and their parenting and to think that if they just did xyz, their kids would be abc. The more children I have the more I learn that that just isn't the case. Kids are very humbling and more kids are more humbling. If I only had my last 4 kids I would think I had the picky eating thing in the bag and if only parents did what I did then their kids would be like my kids. It just isn't true.

:iagree:Heartily!

 

There are kids who really will starve themselves to death.

:iagree:My middle ds would have starved himself to death- not joking, not trying to be funny. He would flat out boycott food. I'm not talking about missing a meal. I am talking days with no solid food.

 

I'm sorry. I didn't have a chance to milk my own goats and grind my own wheat that morning or go out to my huge organic garden and make incredibly healthy food choices like the rest of the moms obviously did.:glare: It's pretty clear that I was intentionally trying to kill my child by giving him deadly processed foods. Once.

 

But I wasn't forcing their kids to eat it.

:lol::lol::lol: Truly fabulous. I may have to borrow it.

 

I am not ashamed to admit that we go to Chik-fil-A every Tuesday night for family night. Kids eat free, so I don't have to pay for my bonus student and my middle ds will actually eat their chicken nuggets. I don't have to do something I detest (cook) and I don't have to worry that someone didn't eat!

 

Mandy

[Mothersweets]

People who have Type 1 diabetes can eat anything that you do but carbs need to be covered with insulin, Your body will naturally give the right amount of insulin when you eat a bean salad but my daughters does not make insulin anymore so I need to have her insulin pump give that to her when she eats a carbohydrate. We do not need to eat special food at all other than the normal food that everyone else should eat.

Again, Type 1 diabetes was not caused by anything this child ate. It is a autoimmune condition.

When carbs are eaten then insulin needs to be given.

 

:iagree:People with type 1 can eat anything as long as it is covered with the proper amount of insulin. Maybe the mom wants to give her 12yo a McD's meal because it has all the carb counts figured out for her? just a thought.

 

 

Mandy - I LOVE Chik-Fil-A! If we had one around here I would be going there on Tuesday nights, too. :D

Edited December 10, 2010 by Mothersweets

[Nakia]

To answer a couple of posts (since I can't answer every one):

 

I respect this mom very much, and she didn't even hint about us changing the menu or anything. She just said she would bring McDonald's for her own kids.

 

I don't really care if she brings McDonald's food for her kids, and like Catwoman said, I'm not the food police. I have no right or desire to tell her she can't feed her kids what she chooses to feed them. I am NOT judging her. My kids know what Happy Meals are too. ;)

 

I have no problem telling my kids that we will be eating taco salad and that family will be eating McDonald's. My kids won't have a problem with it. They love taco salad.

 

I am 100% sure her daughter (12 year old diabetic) does not have any sensory disorders . I am not sure about her son, but I am fairly certain. She is very open about their life, and she is a teacher who teaches children with autism, so I'm pretty sure after knowing her all this time, I would know. Her son does seem to be on the sensitive side, emotionally, but nothing extreme.

 

This is most certainly not a food allergy situation.

 

 

I really appreciate every response! Like Chris, I am glad this discussion has remained respectful, and I have learned a lot. Thanks!!

[Laurie4b]

I have a kid with sensory issues including to food textures. There are some foods that gag him. However, he eats all fresh fruits, three green veges, carrots, all meats if they are plain, bread, pasta, yogurt,cheese, etc. He is picky about which cheese is used if it is melted (texture thing) and will not eat anything with sauces. He does love, love, love junk food, but we only eat at McD's if we are traveling. We do eat pizza on occasion. He craves salt. I just never served a lot of junk food. However, he definitely likes junk food, so if I had offered that a lot, I can see him focusing on eating that. (It might actually be the sodium content that he likes.)

[Cricket]

It is sad that this woman's children are so picky. Yes, she has a right to bring whatever she wants but I think it is rude and disrespectful to those organizing the event to show up with other food. (Of course, the exception would be food allergies or some kind of medical condition.) Just because you prefer something else? That's teaching your dc to be pretty rude and selfish, imo. I wouldn't discuss it with the mom or make a rule against it. It certainly wouldn't ruin a friendship or anything like that (not that the op said any of those things). The only thing you can do with people with bad manners is still be gracious and polite yourself.

[Lolly]

RegularMom, I agree with what you said about the McD's. My kids would be in that boat...wanting what they've got because McD's is a rare treat...just that, rare. We do it for fun on a road trip and then eat a bunch of healthy snacks out of our packed foods.

 

This isn't a matter of food allergies. Most children with food allergies can't eat fast food...too many hidden ingredients. So, I'd be concerned about how to present this to the other children and parents.

 

Faith

 

McDonalds is actually pretty allergy friendly. My dd who is allergic to almost everything can eat there (one of a handful of places). My dnephew, who had his first anaphylactic experience on my home-cooking, can eat it. (Truly almost the only restaurant they can trust.)

 

I have picky kids. Two of them. They both started off eating extremely well. They would eat pretty much anything. Dd2 had sensory issues with other things. For example, she would never put her hands in mud, finger-paint, or eat with her fingers. Dd1 was one of the most adventurous eaters around. I got comments all the time about how much and the variety of foods she obviously enjoyed. ("More pwease") Then, they got older. Dd1 started refusing to eat foods. She would throw up if I pushed the issue and made her try it. She would even toss those cookies if she SMELLED certain foods. She was not doing it on purpose. Turns out that she has severe allergies. I can name the foods she can eat using my fingers to count. (These developed as she aged.) Dd2 is just picky as far as I know. I am not about to force her to eat like I did dd1!!! She mostly eats processed carbs and fruit. More than two ingredients and you can forget it! Cheese with meat, NEVER. Sauce? UGGH. I still fix meals (usually using 10 or less ingredients:D), and she makes her own. She is extremely fit and healthy. She is eating the way G-d intended her to eat.

[Guest Barb B]

Well, I haven't read all the other posts but, in most cases it is lack of discipline. Or perhaps lazy parenting. Or, parents can't stop eating the poor food choice and they then allow the kids to do it. Our kids as a whole in US are getting fatter because parents are afraid to say no. Sometimes you just gotta say no, even if the kids throws a tantrum. Too many parents let the kids rule the house.

 

Barb

[Melinda in VT]

I was a picky eater as a kid. According to one story we were driving on a three day trip. At the start of it I said I wouldn't eat XYZ. I didn't eat anything for over 24 hours and was becoming listless, hard to keep awake. My Mom then stopped for pancakes which I did happily eat.

 

I personally disagree with the statement "children will not starve themselves to death"

 

http://www.speechlanguagefeeding.com/picky-eaters-will-not-starve-themselves-but-problem-or-resistant-eaters-might/

 

I've never carried it to the end to see if my picky eater would starve himself to death. I've always caved when he starts having trouble keeping water down.

[Paige]

My kids are younger, but that mom would have been me a few years ago. I could name a list of foods the girls would eat of about under 10 foods, and only 2 or 3 that would be considered a main dish. The reason is not discipline but sensory and had been part of their nature since birth. They had feeding problems from the moment solids were introduced. They didn't eat processed foods because they had grown accustomed to it, but rather because it was the only things they would accept from day 1. My son never ate fast food type foods as a toddler, it just wasn't our diet. It became our diet after the girls would not eat anything we ever had for dinner. At first they tried it, but they couldn't swallow it or keep it down and everyone was tired of vomit. After they weaned, they pretty much lived on pediasure alone for a while. I thank God- and I mean it- that they would eat what other parents snub their noses at, because it meant no feeding tube. The reason kids with texture problems gravitate towards processed foods, is that you know what you are getting. Each bite is the same texture, color, taste, etc. My girls would eat the carrots and green beans in the gerber graduates jar, for instance, but not ones we made and cut up at home. We learned that it was because I could not replicate the uniform taste and texture. After vomiting so much when we tried, eventually, they quit eating the baby food ones too because I think they were scared of throwing up and had been turned off by our attempts to convert them to real food. After a lot of therapy, they eat mostly normally now, but there are still things that will make them vomit if they put them in their mouths. I agree- they would have died before eating something off their list at the time. We didn't wait it out and see either- when the kid is vomiting bile and can't sit up, and is completely listless, and you have to refeed her slowly with an electrolyte solution, which makes her vomit for several more hours, you eventually just give her the chicken nuggets.

 

I probably would have brought them McDonald's too at the time because their other option would have been a peanut butter sandwich which may have created an allergy problem for some other kid. She may not see it as a sensory issue but I doubt his picky behavior started at 8 and she may just not feel like fighting about it anymore. I think I would have quit fighting about it too if my kids were 8 and 12 and still so picky. She may think he will outgrow it and that there's nothing she can do. I had a lot of people tell me not to worry about my girls and they would out grow it. I'm sure if we hadn't pursued aggressive therapy that they would still only be eating about 2-3 main dishes.

[Sara in AZ]

Vettechmomof2, I stick by my assertation that regardless of whether or not one is giving enough insulin to accomodate the carbs, it is absolutely, fundamentally bad for a type 1 diabetic to partake of cane sugar and high fructose corn syrup which is many times in taco sauces, salad dressings, and even in canned beans....many, many brands of beans are canned with sugar or HCFS.

 

I know diabetes isn't the main topic here, but as a mother of a Type 1 I'm grateful to those who have helped clarify the facts about this condition. Every pediatric endo I've talked to will tell you that diabetic kids should be able to eat anything as long as the carbs are counted and covered with enough insulin. Does that mean I should feed my diabetic cake and ice-cream for every meal? Of course not! No one should be eating whatever they want whenever they want. It is fundamentally bad for EVERYONE to eat too much cane sugar and HFC. Moderation is what we're striving to teach our children.

[Murphy101]

I know diabetes isn't the main topic here, but as a mother of a Type 1 I'm grateful to those who have helped clarify the facts about this condition. Every pediatric endo I've talked to will tell you that diabetic kids should be able to eat anything as long as the carbs are counted and covered with enough insulin. Does that mean I should feed my diabetic cake and ice-cream for every meal? Of course not! No one should be eating whatever they want whenever they want. It is fundamentally bad for EVERYONE to eat too much cane sugar and HFC. Moderation is what we're striving to teach our children.

 

I agree with faith.

 

Even if I didn't, the motion that the diabetic kids can't or won't have a taco salad, but she will get him McD is ridiculous.

 

If she wants to - whatever. Her kid.

 

But if it were my kid, we'd miss the meal rather than being McD.

 

And yeah, a lot of endos say they can eat whatever they want.

 

Frankly, I think they say it bc they know most of the time the parents won't knuckle down anyways. I think for the most part endos have given up on getting people to change their family diets, so they just tell them to adjust their insulin.

 

It's bad medicine IMNSHO and we (dh, I, his parents, and his endos) don't agree with it.

 

In fact, his endo stopped taking ped patients for just this exact reason. Parents who refuse to accept that though they can adjust insulin, what they need to do is greatly restrict their diets because that is far healthier than constantly adjusting insulin. He said over the last decade he just couldn't take the frustration of banging his head on that wall and seeing sick kids and families anymore. With adults it frustrated him, but the kids broke his heart.

[Night Elf]

I'm scared to read the responses so far. I might be in the minority. :)

 

I've never forced my children to eat anything they don't like. I have no desire to force something down my throat and risk gagging or vomiting for the sake of making someone else feel good. Dd18's stepmom always made my child eat stuff she hated and dd18 usually threw up and then got humiliated for doing so. I think that is cruel. She thinks it's making a child like something they refuse to like.

 

My pediatricians have told me that picky eaters are common and if they only eat a few foods not to worry because their taste buds will eventually change. That has been true of my whole life, so I"m not worried about my kids. However, they don't advocate junk, but instead let them eat all the fruits, veggies, protein and dairy they want. My son went through a period where he only drank chocolate milk. He didn't like soda or juice, neither of which is really healthy anyway, and water just wasn't satisfying. I can relate because I really don't like water.

 

We've always had a policy that if DH and I cook something the kids don't like, they have standard backups they can have. Ds14 eats alot of grilled chicken, canned veggies, and applesauce because he often doesn't like what we've cooked. However, he does have Aspergers and much of it is sensory, including taste.

 

In the OPs case, I would either tell the leaders my children will choose not to eat or I'd keep my kids home. I don't mind McDonald's but I think it's highly inappropriate to bring that when the other kids can't have any. And to be totally honest, I'm absolutely floored that a kids dinner would have a taco salad as a main meal. It just seems like something not everyone would like and they're going to be wasting a lot of food.

[Ibbygirl]

Well, on the bright side, at least the mom is willing to go the extra mile and take care of her own children's dietary "restrictions" by bringing her own food for them.

 

I've known parents who thought the world should bend over backward because the menu included one item that their kids didn't like (so, clearly, no one else should be allowed to have it, either.) They never offered to bring their own food; they just assumed they could change the entire menu to accommodate their own kids' tastes. :glare:

Cat

 

That's crazy! Never in a million years would I expect anyone to cater to my son's diet. I always bring his food with me even when we go to restaurants although I usually order something off of the menu hoping he'll try it, but I always have his Cheerios and juice with me as a back up.

[Murphy101]

I'm floored at the notion of a kids dinner in general, as though they are a different species or something.

 

A taco salad is a fairly simple and common type of food.

 

I am floored by the notion that no child can apparently eat anything other than hot dogs, pb and j, pizza, or burgers.

 

There is no such thing as a "children's meal" or "kids dinner". There's cat foods, dog foods, rabbit foods, bird foods, and so forth.

 

And then there are human foods.:confused:

[Murphy101]

For the record, I really don't care what other people feed their kids.

 

It's this prevailing and repeating scenario where they expect all kids to eat like their kid and get their knickers in a twist when their kid is not accommodated.

 

For the most part, I just wish everyone would eat at home bc it's become a huge PITA to deal with food these days at what seems like every event.

[bairnmama]

My nephews are very limited, mostly junk food, eaters. When they would stay with my parents for a week during the summer, one would only eat hot dogs and hamburgers with fries. If neither of those were available, he just didn't eat. And my parents never gave in and let him snack later. Their rules are the same as mine... you don't have to eat what I serve, but if you choose not to you also don't get anything else until the next meal. Also, when my oldest nephew was about 4 or 5, he had PB&J for every.single.meal for 6 months or more. My sister just gives in to the whining and complaining instead of standing her ground.

[Night Elf]

I'm floored at the notion of a kids dinner in general, as though they are a different species or something.

 

A taco salad is a fairly simple and common type of food.

 

I am floored by the notion that no child can apparently eat anything other than hot dogs, pb and j, pizza, or burgers.

 

There is no such thing as a "children's meal" or "kids dinner". There's cat foods, dog foods, rabbit foods, bird foods, and so forth.

 

And then there are human foods.:confused:

 

Wow, if this was in response to me, then I hope you feel better.

[Nakia]

Well, not surprisingly, I can see this thread beginning to take a downward spiral. To clarify, this isn't exactly a kids' dinner. The AWANA leaders for our class (6 adults) are planning to stay after church on Sunday to stuff Christmas stockings for each of the children in our class. We decided we would all be hungry, so we should probably bring some food. Since our families will be there, we decided to bring enough for them too. Taco salad is just what seemed easiest, and there was only one family (the one I referenced in my op) whose children wouldn't eat it.

 

Martha, that last post directed at Night Elf was a bit over the top.

Edited December 10, 2010 by Nakia

[angela in ohio]

My nephews eat only a few things. It is a major discipline issue, just one of many. Mom and dad are busy, and they want the dc to have "the great childhood they never had," so there is no discipline. The boys eat hot dogs, mac and cheese, pizza, and chips.

[kalphs]

I've known kids like this and it's usually due to a lazieness on the parents part...they simply don't want to argue with the kid or hear their kid whine...forget any push of parental authority, teaching good eating habits, and teaching courtesy of eating what is served. It annoys me and I have to say that that is NOT something I would cater to. If it were a food allergy issue, that would be different. This obviously is not the case. If her child is allowed to get away with being that picky, then she should bring their food. What if 50% of the people had kids that behaved like that and they all wanted accommodating? You just can't do it. Tough Love on this one, honey.

:iagree:

At our church the policy is if the parents/children want something other than what is being served the have to supply their own brown bag dinner.

[sagira]

When I was growing up, I ate absolutely no vegetables or fruit. I just wouldn't. My mom tried everything in her bag of tricks - nagging, cajoling, threatening, spanking.. nothing worked. That said, I always ate the meats, carbs and dairy. I was an oddity at parties because I would only drink water - no juice, no soda.

 

So I understand the frustration. My kids are picky too, but not to my extreme. I'm so happy that they both do eat some kind of vegetable and fruits. Ds eats grapes and apples, and dd eats grapes, apples and bananas. I'm so thankful for that. They both like Amy's frozen vegetable lasagna (low sodium), but not mine. Believe me, I tried a few times. Ds likes carrots. Dd will eat them sometimes, but she really enjoys broccoli and the occasional salad.

 

As a result, ds at parties only nibbles, especially tortilla chips if there are any - I have him try something every time, but he particularly doesn't enjoy Thanksgiving. He doesn't really like turkey like that, no cranberry sauce, he doesn't like potatoes, no sweet potatoes, no green beans.. Grandpa made yellow rice and chicken for both kids. The other years they simply didn't eat anything until dessert. Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't let them NOT eat anything, so they at least had dessert. I was glad they had the hearty chicken and rice. Especially ds had to try everything on his plate once.

 

It's hard for me to argue too much with the kids, because I can be picky. If I don't feel like, say, a salad, I'm NOT going to eat a salad. I eat what I feel like most of the time. If it's not there, I simply won't eat. That's how my kids are too, for better or worse. They are actually somewhat better than I am, thankfully :)

[girligirlmom]

This sounds like a GAPS kid.

 

Have you ever heard of GAPS? It's started with the SCD diet but expanded to cover more than Autism. Food pickiness is a clear sign of a GAPS kid. I recently went to the WAPF Wise Traditions conference and there I met Dr. Natasha Campbell-Mcbride. She gave a series of 3 talks regarding GAPS - Gut and Psychology Syndrome http://www.gapsdiet.com/. http://www.examiner.com/nutrition-in-philadelphia/dr-campbell-mcbride-explains-mind-body-belly-connection-at-nutrition-conference

 

Dr. Campbell-Mcbride is a neurologist who also has a post graduate degree in nutrition. She is healing children with this condition in her clinic, but it takes about 2 years and lots of energy from the parents. Many tried Gluten Free/Casein Free, but she explains that it's not enough. These kids (and parents) need to remove all grains, sugars and starches for a time to heal the gut, and then can slowly reintroduce those foods (unprocessed versions) over time.

 

Many parents are at their wits end and don't even realize there is a way to stop the food pickiness and battles so they don't bother, ESPECIALLY not in public. It is so much easier to not have that battle in front of others. It can be so embarrassing to try to get a GAPS kid to eat something they are picky about, so it is easier to just give them something to keep them happy. Yes it's crap, yes the kid shouldn't have it, but the party is not the time or the place for this battle. And for GAPS kids, what's the point of the battle when they usually don't change unless they can heal?

 

What Dr. C-M taught us was so eye opening - kids that are picky are stuck in a cycle of only eating mainly carbs and sugar based foods that the bad bacteria and yeasts in their gut thrive off of. They don't realize it but by feeding these bacteria and yeasts it is continuing to cause them trouble. They are very similar to drug addicts (she notes that many drug addicts were probably GAPS kids) who can't get enough of the stuff that is bad for them, and they shun good stuff(food).

 

There is a parental element, but these kids are so addicted to crap (I have a kid like this) and when you pair it with food allergies, it ends up with only a few foods they will eat. Not can eat but will eat.

 

I met several people at the conference who were on GAPS for their kids, so the whole family was on it, or for themselves. It was amazing to hear of the slow but steady healing that was going on all over the country once families changed to a GAPS diet. One woman I met had colitis but was healed, another had Crohn's. A woman told us about her husband who had mental fog that disappeared after 9 months. Others talked about ADD, ADHD, and Autism symptoms that were disappearing, including the pickiness. In fact many talked about how their formally junk food addicted children would no longer eat any of it because they had healed and realized how sick just a little of it made them.

 

We have begun the battle here to heal, and let me tell you it is a battle. Not full GAPS yet or even Intro, but I started with chicken stock yesterday after we have been slowly removing lots of the bad stuff.

 

All I wanted was for my ds7 to eat/drink 1/3 cup of chicken stock. It took 2 hours. He spit, he said he was going to vomit numerous times, but in the end he drank it with lemon and through a straw and got his reward of Wellshire turkey sticks - one bite after each spoonful or sip.

 

Maybe, separately from the lunch/party - you can mention that someone you know has a child who is similarly picky and is beginning the healing process, because there is a way to heal. It's a hard diet to do, but so worth it (from what I've been told). I would be glad to share what I know. There are two yahoo groups dedicated to GAPS - GAPSdiet and GAPShelp. There is a homeschooler who has written a blog but I can't find it now, I'll have to ask my friend who I hung out with at the conference.

 

 

So this concept of a child eating only a hand-full of unhealthy foods is foreign to me. Do you all have kids like this? What is the reason they eat only certain (and mostly unhealthy foods)? Is it a sensory/texture thing? Is is because that's what they have been allowed to do? In other words, is a discipline issue? I'm not trying to sound snarky; I am honestly curious. I can understand that if they don't like something they just don't, but to refuse all but 6 foods seems a bit outrageous. And to remedy that by buying something from McDonald's seems even more outrageous, especially for a 12 year old diabetic.

 

Thoughts?

Edited December 10, 2010 by girligirlmom

[Murphy101]

Wow, if this was in response to me, then I hope you feel better.

 

I actually wasn't specifically directed at you, tho I did use your phrase of being floored, because it was apt to my own thoughts.

 

Yeah. I do a bit actually.:)

 

Taco salad is just what seemed easiest, and there was only one family (the one I referenced in my op) whose children wouldn't eat it.

 

That is what I would have figured. Fairly simple, low hassle to make for the masses type of meal. No matter what you make, there's going to be someone that for whatever reason doesn't like it or want it. Such is life. I think it very rude of them to be so disagreeable. If they don't want it, don't eat it or don't

participate in it. But I don't understand why some have to make it an issue for everyone else. And yes, I've been the "some" sometimes too, but I figured it was my problem to deal with and did so.

 

Martha, I know you have been here a long time, and I truly don't think that you mean it, but sometimes your posts are very condescending. That last

one directed at Night Elf was a bit over the top.

 

I wasn't being condescending. I really am not a condescending person. Too blunt? Yeah, I have to own that one.:) But not condescending. And not angry either.

 

My point was nothing more than an expression of frustration, which others

have certainly felt free to express, tho mine might be less PC.

 

This issue repeatedly comes up.

 

And it is just plain frustrating for EVERYONE.

 

It is frustrating that if I fully participated in a social life, I doubt my kids would

be able to go a day without hotdogs/burgers/pizza/sweets. Maybe Mac and cheese if we're venturing a bit outside the box. Because as a society, that is what is considered standard "kid food".

 

We've had friends who refuse to eat anywhere but fast-food bc nicer restaurants don't serve "kid food". And no, their kids aren't having behavior issues or food issues. They just don't eat anything but "kid food".

 

I've helped with events where parents, not the kids, complain about the kids not having a separate option that is "kid friendly".

 

Does it bother me that some people feed their kids like that as apparently a regular diet? Nope. Their kid. They can do what they want.

 

What bothers me is the notion that it has become the social norm to expect, nay demand, "kid food".

 

I wasn't being sarcastic.

 

I was trying to illustrate my point that there is no such thing as "kid food".

 

Just human food.

 

:D

 

Sorry if my bluntness or my ... strident?... manner was offensive.

[Nakia]

I actually wasn't specifically directed at you, tho I did use your phrase of being floored, because it was apt to my own thoughts.

 

Yeah. I do a bit actually.:)

 

 

 

That is what I would have figured. Fairly simple, low hassle to make for the masses type of meal. No matter what you make, there's going to be someone that for whatever reason doesn't like it or want it. Such is life. I think it very rude of them to be so disagreeable. If they don't want it, don't eat it or don't

participate in it. But I don't understand why some have to make it an issue for everyone else. And yes, I've been the "some" sometimes too, but I figured it was my problem to deal with and did so.

 

 

 

I wasn't being condescending. I really am not a condescending person. Too blunt? Yeah, I have to own that one.:) But not condescending. And not angry either.

 

My point was nothing more than an expression of frustration, which others

have certainly felt free to express, tho mine might be less PC.

 

This issue repeatedly comes up.

 

And it is just plain frustrating for EVERYONE.

 

It is frustrating that if I fully participated in a social life, I doubt my kids would

be able to go a day without hotdogs/burgers/pizza/sweets. Maybe Mac and cheese if we're venturing a bit outside the box. Because as a society, that is what is considered standard "kid food".

 

We've had friends who refuse to eat anywhere but fast-food bc nicer restaurants don't serve "kid food". And no, their kids aren't having behavior issues or food issues. They just don't eat anything but "kid food".

 

I've helped with events where parents, not the kids, complain about the kids not having a separate option that is "kid friendly".

 

Does it bother me that some people feed their kids like that as apparently a regular diet? Nope. Their kid. They can do what they want.

 

What bothers me is the notion that it has become the social norm to expect, nay demand, "kid food".

 

I wasn't being sarcastic.

 

I was trying to illustrate my point that there is no such thing as "kid food".

 

Just human food.

 

:D

 

Sorry if my bluntness or my ... strident?... manner was offensive.

 

Well, you quoted me before I edited my post, but I did edit it because I truly do not think you mean to come across as condescending. Call it what you will, but it is often taken as rude.

 

And for the love of everything holy, this mom was not trying to make it difficult for everyone. She was not rude. I have said that many times in this thread. She was simply saying her kids wouldn't eat the taco salad (or anything else that was suggested), and she would bring food from McDonald's. She is dealing with it. She didn't ask for anyone else to deal with it. I posted, not to vent, but to ask for information.

[Nakia]

Again, thank you to everyone who has shared information and personal experience.

[FaithManor]

I know what you mean Martha. We do seem to have a society in which there is an unreasonable expectation of others.

 

I didn't seem to catch in the post that it was a small group of workers and their families opting to have lunch together while they accomplished a task. I thought that this was actually a large meal being served to the whole Awana out of the goodness of the worker's hearts and so I just have a big problem with someone coming in with McD's when they could feed their child ahead of time or after so as not to be rude. I've dealt enough with really large groups of kids to know that some are just plain addicted to fast food and at the first sight of that bag, will begin whining. I didnt realize that it was just a small group of children and they would be eating with their parents so their mom or dad can deal with it.

 

Sigh...and I really do understand eating issues. Ds has a whole list of food additives that his cardiologist does not want him to have and so with a church that constantly wants to eat together and thinks that every single time it ought to be fun, bad for you food, it makes us the outcast because we just don't participate. The women who provide all this food would consider it rude if we brought items only for our family and not to share with others and it costs me tooooo much money to try and provide an entre, veggies, and fruit or grains/nuts for a whole bunch of other people. It's not my place to ask them to change their menu for ds and it's socially quite uncomfortable to walk in with "ours only" food. I don't feel any anger, disappointment, or slight because we can't participate. Life is most of the time, not simple.

 

I think that a lot of people like to make it even less easy by having unreasonable expectations.

 

But, since this is not a church sponsored event with a huge bunch of kids and handled by the children's ministries workers, then there isn't anything wrong with the mom in question choosing not to participate in the luncheon.

 

Faith

[Murphy101]

Well, you quoted me before I edited my post, but I did edit it because I truly do not think you mean to come across as condescending. Call it what you will, but it is often taken as rude.

 

Okay. Is it rude because it's too honest, too blunt, not PC, or not what people want to hear? I'm not being snarky. It's a sincere question. Because if you take my words as they are, I don't think they are rude. Obviously, one can infer anything. Especially in the Internet. And if I'm unclear or do get misconstrued, I'm usually quick to clarify if called on it.

 

And for the love of everything holy, this mom was not trying to make it difficult for everyone. She was not rude. I have said that many times in this thread. She was simply saying her kids wouldn't eat the taco salad (or anything else that was suggested), and she would bring food from McDonald's. She is dealing with it. She didn't ask for anyone else to deal with it. I posted, not to vent, but to ask for information.

 

Okie dokie then.

 

If everyone is all good, then what's the deal here?

 

Why do you care what they eat if it's not a difficulty for you and she isn't being rude about it?:confused: And really, anything here isn't information about this particular mom. It's pure speculation. If you really want pertinent information - asking her directly in private and in kindness would be my advice.

 

There is no way anyone can say what's going on in that house, much less with that kid. Certainly not to a level of giving advice to seek medical intervention for the mother to better deal with her child or projecting a possible diagnoses of why things might be that way with her kids. I can tell you I would not recommend suggesting that she seek whatever for her problem. If she does not know you well enough to volunteer information, then you do not know her well enough to make suggestions. Or even question her about it.

 

Just my opinion and rather befuddled rambling thoughts.

 

And again. Not sure what to say other than "sorry" if my manner offends.

[Leola]

Wow - wow!

[Cricket]

Well, not surprisingly, I can see this thread beginning to take a downward spiral. To clarify, this isn't exactly a kids' dinner. The AWANA leaders for our class (6 adults) are planning to stay after church on Sunday to stuff Christmas stockings for each of the children in our class. We decided we would all be hungry, so we should probably bring some food. Since our families will be there, we decided to bring enough for them too. Taco salad is just what seemed easiest, and there was only one family (the one I referenced in my op) whose children wouldn't eat it.

 

Martha, that last post directed at Night Elf was a bit over the top.

 

Ah! I thought from the original post that it was a more formal-type, sit-down dinner thing. In the case you are describing, I wouldn't think it rude at all to bring food for her dc. FWIW, my dc *love* taco salad. We had it for supper last night. :)

[vettechmomof2]

Vettechmomof2, I was not inferring that anything the mother fed the child led this child to become type 1. I was referring to the fact that if she doesn't prepare the food herself, counting those carbs can be a problem and it might not be wise for the child to eat that meal anyway. I stick by my assertation that regardless of whether or not one is giving enough insulin to accomodate the carbs, it is absolutely, fundamentally bad for a type 1 diabetic to partake of cane sugar and high fructose corn syrup which is many times in taco sauces, salad dressings, and even in canned beans....many, many brands of beans are canned with sugar or HCFS.

 

I am sorry that you thought that I was blaming the child's type one on the mom. I fully understand that it is an autoimmune disorder. But, I also have done very extensive nutritional research and know that this child should not eat the meal provided unless the staff preparing it is going to coordinate with the mom to provide brands of sauces and ingredients that do not contain these items.

 

Faith

 

Thanks for explaining your previous answers. I do not like HFCS for anyone BUT I see no difference between myself, my daughter or my son eating it. Only one of us has Type 1 diabetes. I do see some people with Type 1 have a horrible time with the fat from pizza though, again. No issues in my house.

We also rarely eat these items.

I believe that it would be easier for the mother to be given an idea of carb counts but most people do not track them. It is not necessary for them to receive it though, just a nice side thought. I can guesstimate by eye site serving sizes quite easily and would never "expect" someone else to make sure that carb counts are given.

It is just a nice extra if they do.

[vettechmomof2]

I didn't think you were being mean at all. It is extremely important to educate people about Type 1 diabetes because many people are uninformed about it. I appreciate your responses. I have been a nurse a long time, and so much as changed in the treatment of Type 1 over the years. When I first became a nurse, everyone got sliding scale insulin based on what their glucose was before a meal. Now we do carb counts and give insulin based on that.

 

 

 

Thanks! and very true about lack of information. There are still many people who are in the dark ages for treatment of Type 1 diabetes.

[vettechmomof2]

Thank you so much for your posts about Type 1 diabetes. I have to admit that I never knew the difference between Type 1 and Type 2, and you've explained it so well. I don't think I know anyone with Type 1, so I was clueless about it, but now I understand that it's not food-related.

 

I thought diet was an important factor in all diabetes, and I think that may be a common misconception (or else I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm not the only one who didn't know...) so I'm glad you posted about it.

 

Cat

 

Many people with Type 1 diabetes will find that different foods cause different things to happen to them. SOme people have a hard time finding the right amount to bolus for pizza(fat causes insulin to absorb more slowly) and some have trouble with rice. But, a normal menu and giving their personal correct amount of insulin to cover their carb intake is really what is needed!

Many people never know the differences between the different forms of diabetes. It is a shame that the diseases have such similar names because truly they are completely different diseases.

Thanks for wanting to know more and anytime that you have a question, just ask.

[Nakia]

Okay. Is it rude because it's too honest, too blunt, not PC, or not what people want to hear? I'm not being snarky. It's a sincere question. Because if you take my words as they are, I don't think they are rude. Obviously, one can infer anything. Especially in the Internet. And if I'm unclear or do get misconstrued, I'm usually quick to clarify if called on it.

 

 

 

Okie dokie then.

 

If everyone is all good, then what's the deal here?

 

Why do you care what they eat if it's not a difficulty for you and she isn't being rude about it?:confused: And really, anything here isn't information about this particular mom. It's pure speculation. If you really want pertinent information - asking her directly in private and in kindness would be my advice.

 

There is no way anyone can say what's going on in that house, much less with that kid. Certainly not to a level of giving advice to seek medical intervention for the mother to better deal with her child or projecting a possible diagnoses of why things might be that way with her kids. I can tell you I would not recommend suggesting that she seek whatever for her problem. If she does not know you well enough to volunteer information, then you do not know her well enough to make suggestions. Or even question her about it.

 

Just my opinion and rather befuddled rambling thoughts.

 

And again. Not sure what to say other than "sorry" if my manner offends.

 

Martha,

I'm sorry that I got so irritated. I've "known" you a long time on here, and I know you tend to tell it like it is. I'm the same way. I have a lot of respect for you. I had no intention of coming here, getting information, and then making suggestions to her. I simply came here to try and understand better. I think if you read my posts in this thread, you will see that I have not posted anything about changing their lifestyle or making suggestions about how she can raise her kids better. I honestly believe she is a wonderful mom doing the best she can. Like I stated previously, I wouldn't say anything to her because her daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes less than a month ago, and God knows she is dealing with enough. And again, it's none of my business what she feeds her kids. I think a lot of people post here simply looking for information, don't you?

[JennyD]

I've never eaten taco salad and just looked it up to see what it is. Looks tasty, if a bit messy.

 

My older two children are not especially picky, but I was a terribly picky eater as a child and I don't think that there's a whole lot my mom could have done about it. She's a pretty no-nonsense person and heaven knows she didn't cater, but I just remember how awful most food felt in my mouth. Eventually I just grew out of it and now I eat pretty much everything. Learning to cook helped a lot, too, I think -- something about having control over my food, probably.

 

One of my all-time favorite books is Child of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense, by Ellyn Satter. I just got lucky with my older kids (DH also loves to eat and will try anything) but I think her approach helped me avoid some landmines and keep the drama to to a minimum.

[Murphy101]

Martha,

I'm sorry that I got so irritated. I've "known" you a long time on here, and I know you tend to tell it like it is. I'm the same way. I have a lot of respect for you. I had no intention of coming here, getting information, and then making suggestions to her. I simply came here to try and understand better. I think if you read my posts in this thread, you will see that I have not posted anything about changing their lifestyle or making suggestions about how she can raise her kids better. I honestly believe she is a wonderful mom doing the best she can. Like I stated previously, I wouldn't say anything to her because her daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes less than a month ago, and God knows she is dealing with enough. And again, it's none of my business what she feeds her kids. I think a lot of people post here simply looking for information, don't you?

 

 

Ahh. See I wasn't clear! :D Others were suggesting various disorders and so forth back and forth in this discussion and a few put forth the notion of making suggestions for changes or seeking medical help and so forth. My reference to that

was only to say I didn't agree with them and would not suggest that anyone do so and why. I was thoroughly unclear bc it had nothing to do with you. Sorry.

 

No reason to offer an apology. I wasn't insulted as much as confused but willing to be enlightened.:)

 

I agree people come here to gain perspective and information sometimes.

 

I'm sorry for my error. It seems there were several errors about the type of situation and your feelings on it.

 

Back on topic.

 

I can't for the life of me figure how any diabetic would be better off with McD than a homemade taco salad. But she's a newbie and I do imagine if she isn't used to living a diabetic diet, it IS overwhelming.

 

Tho a diabetic diet is actually the healthy diet everyone should be eating anyways, sadly the majority of our society doesn't normally eat that way and adjusting is a huge big deal for them.:grouphug:

Edited December 11, 2010 by Martha

[tex-mex]

Our AWANA leaders are planning a lunch on Sunday to celebrate Christmas and a little party for the kids next week. We were talking about the menu (decided on taco salad for the lunch), and no matter what we suggested one mom said she would have to go to McDonald's to get her kids something. Her kids are 8 and 12. She said her 8 year old literally eats only 6 things, and she named the things. The only two things that weren't processed carbs were bananas and yogurt. And the only thing he drinks is chocolate milk. And her 12 year old is a newly diagnosed insulin dependent diabetic. I'm sorry, but I cannot wrap my head around that. My kids pretty much eat anything. I know I am blessed and perhaps my kids are the exception. My 7 year old is my pickiest, but it varies from day to day what she will eat. And she really doesn't outright refuse food, but some days she "doesn't like" chili or spaghetti, or whatever, even though she ate it the week before. It's just her personality to be contrary. Our solution is, "Okay, if you don't want chili tonight, you can have oatmeal." Most days she eats what I cook, no problems. We also have a policy that you have to try one bite before you decide you don't like something.

 

So this concept of a child eating only a hand-full of unhealthy foods is foreign to me. Do you all have kids like this? What is the reason they eat only certain (and mostly unhealthy foods)? Is it a sensory/texture thing? Is is because that's what they have been allowed to do? In other words, is a discipline issue? I'm not trying to sound snarky; I am honestly curious. I can understand that if they don't like something they just don't, but to refuse all but 6 foods seems a bit outrageous. And to remedy that by buying something from McDonald's seems even more outrageous, especially for a 12 year old diabetic.

 

Thoughts?

I haven't read beyond the first post -- but as a fellow diabetic in compliance -- any pediatrician finding this info out along with bad A1C levels will report that mom to CPS. Doctors are more stricter with children than adults. That is outrageous, to say the least. :glare:

Edited December 11, 2010 by tex-mex

[sbgrace]

I've got one child who will eat almost anything offered. The other child is very limited. Same parents, same timing of parenting (they are twins), etc.

 

My not picky child has life threatening food allergies and picky kid has a metabolic condition. I bring food for them everywhere. I would hope no one would care or really think twice about it.

Edited December 11, 2010 by sbgrace