CC: Have any of you felt the need to restrict your dc's exposure to pop culture?

[farmgirlinwv]

I have a 13 yo dd. She loves pop music; mostly Disney pop singers, Taylor Swift, ect. For awhile she was listening to some of the other pop music like Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, ect. I put a stop to that after listening to the music. She also likes a few Disney channel shows like iCarly. It seems that she's picking up some sayings I don't care for and a general attitude I don't care for. She is very sheltered, an only child. I know where these things are coming from. It's not like these things are so horribly wrong, but I just have a bad feeling. She really LOVES pop music. Her time is limited listening to it. I don't want to sound strange, but sometimes I wonder if there's not more to the *electronic obsession* than meets the eye. I know some will think that's very *woo woo*, but that's ok.

 

So, for those who have limited or eliminated these things:

1. How did you do it?

2. Why did you do it?

3. Did you replace it w/ something you thought was better/more appropriate?

Feel free to add any other comments on how you arrived at your decision. It's just been bothering me a lot lately.

 

I appreciate any and all input!

 

Thanks,

 

Farmgirl

[lionfamily1999]

I So, for those who have limited or eliminated these things:

1. How did you do it?

2. Why did you do it?

3. Did you replace it w/ something you thought was better/more appropriate?

 

1. For the boys, we just shut it off. No more tv, it's been disconnected. For dd (who has her own stereo and things) it's been more of an appeal to her understanding. We've discussed how such things can tear a person down. We talked about what we should do versus what we actually do and how seeing people misbehaving (or singing with them) can lead us to think that those wrong things aren't so wrong.

 

2. The same reasons you listed. For the boys, they were becoming real brats. I started off just blocking out Disney (Suite Life) and then I realized that a little of this could be entertaining, but there's no break from this bratty, crappy behavior on most of the kids' channels. Then we discovered hulu and netflix (which meant that they could still see shows I didn't mind them watching and less advertising).

 

3. Yes and no :p I didn't replace it, but the kids did. They've replaced it with playing, imagination, reading, walking and the millions of other things they could have been doing when they were being swept away with tv and radio. We all listen to classical music and we have found a GREAT Christian radio station with music that we all enjoy listening too.

 

 

 

 

It's really not all that hard once you start, and especially if you include the kids in on the decision. Dd listens to the Christian and classical music and she says she feels better, because there are no cringe moments.

[In The Great White North]

I don't know the CC is involved at all.

 

We started in the Waldorf world so we limited electronics from the start, which was much easier. Dd(14) does not have her own itunes account or own any CDs, so her music is pretty limited. I don't like any current sitcoms, Disney or otherwise, because they are just a string of one-line insults that everyone else laughs at. Not my idea of funny nor what I would like to hear around the house. I didn't set out to replace the music with anything because I don't like constant noise. We do watch selected movies instead of sitcoms, but that isn't everyday.

 

Now that she has developed a taste for it, I suspect you'll be far more successful replacing it than just removing it. (You might be able to convince her that the Disney channel is for little kids and she's too old for it now.)

[danivdp]

Absolutely....my DD is only 9, but do not encourage/allow Hannah Montana or any of that kind of stuff. She still watches Little Bear :)

 

She's exposed to it a little at friend's houses, but I've told her right off the bat that it's not allowed here because I don't like the way the kids on TV talk to their parents and other adults.

 

There is some Christian Music that is poppy (LOL) and not attitude-y.

[choirfarm]

We do not have cable, so that helps a ton. But you have already opened Pandora's box... I don't know if you are a Christian or not, but what about the contemporary Christian music scene? My boys LOVE that and download tons from i-tunes. Also, I am working on developing their thinking skills. I love the Plugged In podcast and website. My boys go there daily. They don't tell you necessarily whether you should watch or not but rather what you need to be aware of. They review video games, music, movies, etc. As a result of this, when the paper came out with the movies in it a while agao, this is what my 15 year old said: Mom, which do you think is more dangerous Scott Pilgrim or Eat Pray Love?

 

MMM.. I said.. I don't know.. Scott Pilgrim.

 

Son: No, mom. I think it is Eat Pray Love. She just dumps her hubby because she doesn't love him anymore. The subliminal message is just find what makes you happy, find love. But love is more than just a fuzzy feeling!! I think it is more dangerous because it is more subtle.

 

He said more and said it more articulately, but you get the idea.

 

 

I was so excited that he made that connection himself before the review from Plugged in even came out!!

 

So, you need to get her to start thinking about pop culture and what its messages are. I like Plugged In, but you can just use your discussions.

 

Christine

[Chris in VA]

We limited music by not having it around at all. Ds 19 is the only one who got into any music other than what we play on instruments, and it's been terrible for him. We don't limit it now for him, because he's an adult, but he knows what insults us and he plays his own choices with ear buds on (his IPod was stolen, so he only gets music via the computer or in his car).

Ds 21, as an Aspie, doesn't like noise, and isn't musical (some Aspies are, of course--he's just not, and we think it's connected to sensory issues).

Dd10 has one CD of Mercy Me (a Christian group) and some Vacation Bible School CDs, that's it. We will get her more Christian music for Christmas this year, but we don't listen to the radio in the car unless it's our favorite Christian station. She gets a little exposure to music from the 60's-80's via my husband's playlist on his phone, which we sometimes listen to on long car trips--some of it is appropriate, and some (lyrics) isn't, but it goes over her head for the time being, and it's not the "smack your woman then rape the b" kind.

 

Your dd is at the age where she's exploring her own choices and tastes. I think it'd be wise to introduce her to Christian music. Not all of it is just about Jesus--there are songs about the wonders of the world, the beauty of spousal relationships, heartbreak (often these are attractive to teens in angst), etc. The difference is that God is given the glory for Creation, marriage is upheld as the ideal place for sex, and our relationship with God is what helps us thru the hard times. These are good things to teach. You can find any style, from twangy country to hard, metallic rock, to techno pop. There are also some secular artists whose lyrics are not all about pining after boys or being all sexed up--Good social awareness stuff comes from Bono (who is a Christian, but makes music for the secular market), for example.

Edited October 27, 2010 by Chris in VA

[lionfamily1999]

Chris, Mercy Me is a fam favorite here :D

[Unicorn.]

iCarly is the worst for causing an attitude problem around here. We banned it, and Wizards of Waverly place for a long time. I will allow Wizards occasionally, but iCarly is out. Some of the music is really horrible, and my kids know that when Katie Perry comes on, the radio goes off. I'm not too happy w/ some of the other stuff either, but I try and take it all on a case by case basis. So if I hear something I don't like, I just tell them to turn it off or change it. I don't ban it all, because that causes resentment, and can push teens/pre-teens toward the things I'm trying to keep them away from. I tell them why I don't like something, and as it turns out, my kids hate the songs I don't want them listening too anyway. :)

[Saille]

I've absolutely curtailed exposure to...I guess I'd say commercial culture. I see the whole point of things like Clear Channel radio stations as being to control what we listen to. I get stressed out listening to ABC cross-promote Disney and all its other labels. Here's a really interesting chart showing who owns what. There are an infinite number of conflicts of interest out there.

 

At our house, we eschew most media directed at kids, and we don't have a lot of screen time. We started out doing this because of commercialism and concerns about the timing of kids' TV shows, and it became a habit. No cross-marketed characters and no kids' commercials equals a lot less brainwashing. We listen to public radio and indie music, world music, motown, jazz, classical, folk, etc.. Pandora makes that pretty easy, and you can stream radio stations via the internet or using a roku box. We like KEXP in Seattle, and WRSI (The River), in Amherst, which has an awesome kids' music show called Spare the Rock.

 

With an older kid, I'd probably start any pullback by doing some media literacy instruction. The link upthread allows you to watch a frontline documentary called The Merchants of Cool online. It's excellent. You should watch it yourself first, b/c the segment on Insane Clown Posse has a lot of language and you'll probably want to skip it given your dd's age.

 

Also, there's a book on Amazon called Made You Look that would make good reading for your dd. Hey Kidz, Buy This Book is more activistic in tone, but I'm fond of it. Media manipulation of our kids is a peeve of mine, and some online acquaintances I've "known" way longer than you mamas were involved in this book's publication. It's on my son's reading list for this year.

 

I know that a lot of religous homeschoolers are objecting primarily to what they perceive to be immoral content when they restrict media, but I do not think it can be said enough that, regardless of your political or religious beliefs, most media addressed to children is designed to fundamentally manipulate their likes, interests, culture, etc., with a deliberate focus on subverting the influence of the parent. There are an enormous number of books on this topic for adults.

Edited October 27, 2010 by Saille

[dirty ethel rackham]

Absolutely. We made the decision on how much pop culture to invite into our home when our children were very little. I saw what was going in with my nieces and nephews and decided that we didn't want to live like that. So, the only TV they watched was PBS, Discovery Channel and videos we got out of the library. Because they never developed a taste for this stuff or for even going along with the crowd, we find that we are much freer with pop culture because it doesn't have a big hold on them. DD cannot stand the Disney stuff. My boys like the kind of music their dad likes, so they have that in common. I don't always like the lyrics, but it is more or less what I listened to in high school. When I drive, the only radio I have on are Christian music stations, so that is what my daughter likes.

 

As far as movies go, I am giving my teens a bit more freedom on what they see, but they really don't see many movies. We watch movies together and have done so with other families as part of lit studies, so we are digging deeper.

 

 

Since your situation is different - you already have that in your home, I would probably refrain from an all-out ban, but start having discussions. Watch those tv programs with the her and discuss the values presented. Do some study of the song lyrics and ask her if she understands what they mean. Talk about why you don't want her to fill her head with this stuff. I would also look for some Christian pop music for a replacement. Mercy Me, Third Day, Superchick - these are some of my daughter's favorites.

[RhondaJK]

Don't you wonder sometimes if Disney is aware and is purposely promoting this attitude on all of their sitcoms? I had to just say "no more" with Hannah Montana, I watched an episode with DD9, explained and discussed what I found offensive, and how it applied to the behavior changes and attitude I was seeing in her. That was the last time she watched it or Suite Life. I think discussing the issues and pointing out the lack of respect for parents, how the characters treated each other, the half-truths and deceitful behavior of the characters, helped her to realize why we were concerned.

 

We still allow the same amount of screen time but with the understanding that she should attempt to choose something with at least some educational or social value. She has become much better at both self-regulating her choices and the amount of time she spends watching TV. I rarely have to say anything, and the arguing and talking back has disappeared.:D

[stripe]

I never watched much TV myself as a kid, and I am not "up" on pop culture anymore myself. My kids rarely watch TV, mostly because I dislike so much of what's on (so many whiny and grumpy people!), and I watch only a few shows myself. I am not categorically opposed to the medium or whatever.

 

I find pre-teen sexualization disturbing, but my kids are not this age anyway so it doesn't apply to us at this point. I also think the built in implication that all siblings fight and all young people have tense relationships with their parents is irritating, and actually many teens and young people these days report feeling very emotionally close to their parents, so it's not even true. I often get the feeling it's grumpy baby-boomers living out their own fantasies in pop culture, and (as a non-baby boomer) wish we could move on to another reality - our culture is way too fixated on people of that generation and their "take" on everything.

 

Interestingly, we knew a kid who was very interested in a certain cartoon character (including talking about this character all the time and having so much merchandise from this character). My husband and I found it to be somewhat weird. My husband was discussing this idea of marketing to kids with another friend of his, who insisted it was fine. Two years later, that friend has completely changed his mind after seeing more of this himself.

Edited October 27, 2010 by stripe

[RhondaJK]

 

I know that a lot of religous homeschoolers are objecting primarily to what they perceive to be immoral content when they restrict media, but I do not think it can be said enough that, regardless of your political or religious beliefs, most media addressed to children is designed to fundamentally manipulate their likes, interest, culture, etc., with a deliberate focus on subverting the influence of the parent. There are an enormous number of books on this topic for adults.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[The Girls' Mom]

Well, I kind of do, and I kind of don't.

 

We don't have cable, because it's mostly trash on the kids channels. But the kids still watch reruns of a lot of Disney shows on Netflix. I don't limit them to only Christian music.

 

What I do is have many, many conversations about what is wrong in the shows/music/etc. I use them as a springboard for conversations about why many teens today act like they do and what is un Christlike about them. We talk a lot as a family about what it means to honor God with our actions and thoughts. Also why it's important to let others see that as well. Through this the kids have developed the ability to discern what is good and what is bad. They will turn off raunchy music, walk away from horrible shows, and put down books that aren't God honoring...without me telling them to. I don't feel like strict limits are going to work, because they aren't always under my wing. They need to be able to discern for themselves whether something is appropriate or not, even when I am not there to tell them.

 

There are some things that we will flat out not let them watch or listen to. But we explain why, and they are things that WE as parents don't watch or listen to as well. (with the exception of the war movies loaded with gore and foul language that dh likes...we are still holding out hope for a censored option on Netflix! :lol: We don't let them hang around the living room when he's watching those)

[Harriet Vane]

We have standards for what is and is not acceptable in a set of lyrics. No graphic s@x or violence or glorification of evil or pain. It's impossible to limit exposure to pop culture because dd's friends are all into it, but I can and do limit what is put on dd's Ipod. I am lucky to have a dd who understands the concerns and does evaluate what she reads and listens to--she asks me if this or that is acceptable, and we just talk it through. She does have Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus on her Ipod, because she showed me the video on you-tube and we talked through the lyrics. As far as I am concerned there is plenty of secular music that is harmless and fun--it just needs to be evaluated with a thinking mind.

[Michelle My Bell]

I don't know the CC is involved at all.

 

We started in the Waldorf world so we limited electronics from the start, which was much easier. Dd(14) does not have her own itunes account or own any CDs, so her music is pretty limited. I don't like any current sitcoms, Disney or otherwise, because they are just a string of one-line insults that everyone else laughs at. Not my idea of funny nor what I would like to hear around the house. I didn't set out to replace the music with anything because I don't like constant noise. We do watch selected movies instead of sitcoms, but that isn't everyday.

 

Now that she has developed a taste for it, I suspect you'll be far more successful replacing it than just removing it. (You might be able to convince her that the Disney channel is for little kids and she's too old for it now.)

 

 

:iagree:minus the Waldorf. This is how we have been raising our children as well. We just don't do it.

[lionfamily1999]

Don't you wonder sometimes if Disney is aware and is purposely promoting this attitude on all of their sitcoms?

Well, they know their demographic and they know that many (most?) parents do not regulate television. A brat can get their way and often "their way" means all the carpola that Disney has for sale. Many parents are silly enough to believe that having their children at the forefront of fashion is more important than questioning whether or not the newest fashions are good for their kids. It's not just the children buying into the culture that Disney's selling. They wouldn't be selling it very long if parents weren't willing to pay for it. Wouldn't that be a form of agreement?

 

Lol, thinking "out loud."

 

IOW, I think Disney knows what it's doing and I think that some parents are going right along with them.

[Barry Goldwater]

We absolutely feel the need to aggressively protect our children from Pop culture. At best, it is drivel, at worse it is carnal and undermining to our values. It is not welcome in our home.

 

From birth till about 5 yrs old:

 

ZERO commercial television. ZERO. Age appropriate videos, generously seasoned with CC themes, fine. All broadcast TV was disconnected in our home about 2 yrs ago. Only Netflix and library now.

 

VERY LIMITED radio exposure. Even conservative talk radio has a lot of age-inappropriate themes and crass / vulgar humor.

 

We saturated the children with high quality music (classical, jazz instrumental, bluegrass, especially Gospel bluegrass). And we would hear them on their own singing the gospel songs with each other (now, the 3 olders regularly write their own bluegrass style accapella gospel songs with triad harmonies throughout! Loads of fun, and they're getting some live performance opportunities now.)

 

As a result, my 14, 13, and 10 yr old as a result have huge gobs of discernment, and are repulsed by any glimpses they've gotten of most of the teen-pre-teen targeted material, and have no interest in it. The five year old is learning fast too (now there's 5 of us using discernment, not just DW & me! The army grows!).

 

My recommendation for you at this point, since the barn door is already open, so to speak, is to curtail and/or even cut off the television. And get your hands on some gospel bluegrass music (you are in WV, after all:D) and put in on in the car or the house in lieu of the radio. Bluegrass is upbeat, fun and exhibits some sensational musicianship as well. And it helps greatly if the parents can model a 'dis-interest' in the pop culture garbage as well...teaching by doing, etc.

 

My 2 cents.

[Mom-ninja.]

Don't assume that only Christians restrict pop culture. :)

 

I restrict most media. My boys don't miss it because they never had it. I often get really weird looks from other parents because I am pretty conservative with my kids' exposure. Oh, well.

 

Saille, thanks for the book recs. What age do you think it's good for?

Edited October 27, 2010 by Kleine Hexe

[elegantlion]

We don't limit music or limit TV, but I think Disney channel has too many shows with attitude. My ds used to watch a few shows on Disney, I didn't like some of the tone and attitude, especially that given to some of the quirky adult characters.

 

We read Fahrenheit 451 as a read-aloud when he was 11. It was absolutely the best tool to get him to turn off the TV. People staring endlessly at moving screens, interacting with them, thinking of them as family. I never said a word to him about his TV viewing while we were reading. We had a few discussions throughout the book and he hasn't watched Disney channel since. In fact he doesn't watch much television, even though we don't limit electronics.

 

Obviously reading F-451 is not something everyone will feel appropriate at age 11.

[Jenny in Atl]

I'm not sure restrict is the right word... it's more like I'm a pop culture snob. I dislike most of mainstream pop-culture (music/movies/tv) because it's soulless. I want to be surrounded by art, in whatever form, that challenges me, makes me think and feel. I don't want to waste what little time I have on this earth, listening to the same canned poppy beats produced by some corporate machine, or watching the same over produced blockbuster movie, with little more than computer generated special effects and the same plastic star, who was in the last three blockbusters. The same can be said for most of the top tv shows, like Dancing with the Stars & American Idol/etc; like nails on a chalk board to me.

 

I'm not knocking those who think Tom Curse is the best actor in the world or that Taylor Swift is the next Elvis, but I can't stand their brand of entertainment, and my poor children are forced to refrain from listing or watching those forms of entertainment in my house. Thankfully, so far... they have similar tastes, but that could be because the kind of stuff you refer to was just never around.

 

We don't listen to commercial radio, only public radio or college stations. We tend to watch little to no t.v., except certain shows. T.v. is limited, since reading, listening to books on audio, studying, working on art projects, being outside, etc are all stressed over sitting in front of the "boob-tube".

 

I also "force" my kids to watch and listen to, what I consider to be good/interesting/challenging/whatever you want to label it "stuff". If I have to drive them all over town, then we're going to listen to music or an audio bk all of us like. We only have one tv, and again, time is limited, so no time is wasted on reality shows or celebrity driven crud.

 

Your the parent, it's your house. If they want to listen to or watch stuff you are unhappy about, talk to them about it. Explain why you dislike it, why it will not pollute your house. I'm very socially liberal, so my dislike is a bit different than yours, but in the end, you set the tone for what entertainment you wish to have in your life, and your child/children can wait till they move out, to watch or listen to all the drivel they want. :lol:

[ondreeuh]

Ack, I hate Disney shows. You'd think with all the attention on bullying, they would tone down the blatant bullying in the shows (Sam on iCarly comes to mind!).

 

DS (9) watches cartoon network and I'm OK with that. He is very respectful and kind, and I don't see it having any negative effect. At least CN shows are clearly not based on real life so maybe kids are less likely to emulate the characters.

 

I don't know what we'd do without techno music (including Lady GaGa). We don't pay attention to the lyrics but dancing like fools is our main source of exercise around here. We have several albums in iTunes and just uncheck the ones with obviously bad titles. Some of the best techno songs are in Swedish anyway ;)

[LibraryLover]

 

We don't listen to commercial radio, only public radio or college stations. We tend to watch little to no t.v., except certain shows. T.v. is limited, since reading, listening to books on audio, studying, working on art projects, being outside, etc are all stressed over sitting in front of the "boob-tube".

 

 

 

Speaking of NPR, my kids enjoy Diane Rehm. Once, a child said innocently, "Mom, she sounds really old." I was about to give a 'Don't Be Ageis't lecture but the same dc beat me to it, "I think that's neat. Nearly everbody else on the radio sounds like a kid. There should be people of all ages on the radio." The other dc in the car said, "I like that she doesn't talk so fast. She is calming and I can think about her words." Well, blow me down.

 

When we visited Grauaman's Chinese theater, my kids (17 & 10) didn't know who Tom Cruise was, but they were excited see see Donald O'Conner's prints. Although I am not sure what that means...they watch old movies?...which are so much better than new ones such as LOTR? :D There are some fantastic films out there, and they aren't all old. I think film-making can be a very noble profession, and I seriously mean that.

 

We've never had cable, or even owned a TV when the oldest 3 were tiny.

 

Although I am sure there are people horrified that my children are allowed to listen to NPR instead of say, Dr Laura. ;) Or watch programming such as Modern Family where gay people are shown as loving parents and partners and just as neurotic as any of us. I have no reason to restrict such programming.

 

That said, I am not a big restrictor. I would rather talk about and discuss what might be innapropriate so they have the tools to discern on their own. I want them to be able to evaluate information that might be manipulative, and call spade a spade.

 

I think it's worked because when we have gone on vacations with hotel TV with 10,000 channels, my kids compleltey reject most programming. They have choosen Myth Busters (another high brow show ;)) over kid progrmamming. My dds, for instance, have never for a moment had an interest in Hannah Montanna (although the little I have seen looks pretty innocent to me, and that young woman seems quite intelligent...I saw her once on Ellen ;) ). I just asked my 11 yr old if she has heard of iCarly and she said, "I think so. I think it's one of those dumb teen shows."

 

We listen to WUNB (college radio) and we are all going to be happy when the current pledge drive is over. "We're members! I promise! Stop!"

Edited October 27, 2010 by LibraryLover

[TXMomof4]

We do not have cable, so that helps a ton. But you have already opened Pandora's box... I don't know if you are a Christian or not, but what about the contemporary Christian music scene? My boys LOVE that and download tons from i-tunes. Also, I am working on developing their thinking skills. I love the Plugged In podcast and website. My boys go there daily. They don't tell you necessarily whether you should watch or not but rather what you need to be aware of. They review video games, music, movies, etc. As a result of this, when the paper came out with the movies in it a while agao, this is what my 15 year old said: Mom, which do you think is more dangerous Scott Pilgrim or Eat Pray Love?

 

MMM.. I said.. I don't know.. Scott Pilgrim.

 

Son: No, mom. I think it is Eat Pray Love. She just dumps her hubby because she doesn't love him anymore. The subliminal message is just find what makes you happy, find love. But love is more than just a fuzzy feeling!! I think it is more dangerous because it is more subtle.

 

He said more and said it more articulately, but you get the idea.

 

 

I was so excited that he made that connection himself before the review from Plugged in even came out!!

 

So, you need to get her to start thinking about pop culture and what its messages are. I like Plugged In, but you can just use your discussions.

 

Christine

 

What a smart kid! Big thumbs up from here - I hated that book!

[ChristusG]

Yes. My kids are still young but we have already begun limiting pop culture. No Hanna Montana for my girls. We do PBS, old cartoons, Disney, etc. Music is also very monitored. We listen to mostly Christian, country (I'll turn the station if I think the song is inappropriate), and Disney soundtracks.

 

I don't need all the bad pop culture influencing my kids.

[aggieamy]

We absolutely feel the need to aggressively protect our children from Pop culture. At best, it is drivel, at worse it is carnal and undermining to our values. It is not welcome in our home.

 

From birth till about 5 yrs old:

 

ZERO commercial television. ZERO. Age appropriate videos, generously seasoned with CC themes, fine. All broadcast TV was disconnected in our home about 2 yrs ago. Only Netflix and library now.

 

VERY LIMITED radio exposure. Even conservative talk radio has a lot of age-inappropriate themes and crass / vulgar humor.

 

We saturated the children with high quality music (classical, jazz instrumental, bluegrass, especially Gospel bluegrass). And we would hear them on their own singing the gospel songs with each other (now, the 3 olders regularly write their own bluegrass style accapella gospel songs with triad harmonies throughout! Loads of fun, and they're getting some live performance opportunities now.)

 

As a result, my 14, 13, and 10 yr old as a result have huge gobs of discernment, and are repulsed by any glimpses they've gotten of most of the teen-pre-teen targeted material, and have no interest in it. The five year old is learning fast too (now there's 5 of us using discernment, not just DW & me! The army grows!).

 

My recommendation for you at this point, since the barn door is already open, so to speak, is to curtail and/or even cut off the television. And get your hands on some gospel bluegrass music (you are in WV, after all:D) and put in on in the car or the house in lieu of the radio. Bluegrass is upbeat, fun and exhibits some sensational musicianship as well. And it helps greatly if the parents can model a 'dis-interest' in the pop culture garbage as well...teaching by doing, etc.

 

My 2 cents.

 

What would you recommend to a person that is interested in listening to bluegrass music but has no idea where to start?

[stripe]

Speaking of NPR, my kids enjoy Diane Rehm. Once, a child said innocently, "Mom, she sounds really old." I was about to give a 'Don't Be Ageis't lecture but the same dc beat me to it, "I think that's neat. Nearly everbody else on the radio sounds like a kid. There should be people of all ages on the radio." The other dc in the car said, "I like that she doesn't talk so fast. She is calming and I can think about her words." Well, blow me down.

I love Diane Rehm. She isn't very young. However, in case you don't know, the reason her voice sounds as it does has nothing to do with age, and in fact, I think is even more inspiring - hard to be in radio when you have vocal problems!

 

From her website

 

In 1998, Rehm’s career nearly ended because of spasmodic dysphonia, a neurological voice disorder that causes strained, difficult speech. Rehm sought treatment, returned to the show, and called attention to the condition. The National Council on Communicative Disorders recognized her work with a Communication Award, and ABC’s Nightline devoted an entire program to a conversation with Rehm about her disorder.

[LibraryLover]

Oh, we know about that. But the fact that she is not young was my point. I thought my post was long enough without a Diane Rehm bio.

 

:)

 

 

I love Diane Rehm. She isn't very young. However, in case you don't know, the reason her voice sounds as it does has nothing to do with age, and in fact, I think is even more inspiring - hard to be in radio when you have vocal problems!

 

From her website

 

In 1998, Rehm’s career nearly ended because of spasmodic dysphonia, a neurological voice disorder that causes strained, difficult speech. Rehm sought treatment, returned to the show, and called attention to the condition. The National Council on Communicative Disorders recognized her work with a Communication Award, and ABC’s Nightline devoted an entire program to a conversation with Rehm about her disorder.

Edited October 27, 2010 by LibraryLover

[HelenNotOfTroy]

We are not Christian and we limit our child's exposure to popular culture. Our problem is our desire to listen to music and watch television and movies. Our son is only three so it is all on us as the parents.

[amy g.]

I have always restricted my children's access to pop culture.

 

We have no cable, and have never allowed TV or radio that includes commercials.

 

Other than that I place few restrictions on their choices. They can stream movies on Netflix, or listen to their choice of music on Pandora, and read banned books.

 

Teachers and adults who meet my teenagers for the first time invariably describe them as "refreshing".

 

They have home-based businesses, play instruments, volunteer weekly, play with their younger siblings and are visibly happy people. I believe that the freedom from commercialism has contributed to their happiness.

 

They are not constantly bombarded by messages to want something better or something more.

 

I had a friend whose worst nightmare was raising a dork. She loved for her daughter to watch MTV, and spent thousands of dollars each year on name brand clothing. Her daughter is grown, and I think my friend is pretty happy about how she turned out (except for the attachment parenting and extended breastfeeding that were my influence).

 

I mention this because I don't really believe how she raised her daughter was wrong. She had a goal, and her parenting was consistent with that goal.

 

It doesn't bother me for my kids to be goofy and unfashionable. My goal is for them to fulfill the purpose on Earth they were created to fulfill. I think that will be easier for them to do if they are not heavily influenced by cultural expectations.

[Saille]

What would you recommend to a person that is interested in listening to bluegrass music but has no idea where to start?

 

Showing my own inexperience here, but what about the Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack? I know at least one kid who was launched on bluegrass by that album. Plus, some of it fits neatly into your Modern History year. :D

[ThelmaLou]

We've never had cable. We could tune in a few local channels until the big switch to digital a few years ago, but my kids never watched TV programming. As far as cultural influences, no TV has been the single most influential decision I've made on behalf of my kids. They've never had it, and they've never asked for it. We have dvd players, netflix, and a library card.

 

Secondly, we don't have any game systems. Second most helpful decision I've made on my kids' behalf. With 5 boys, I was not willing to have games vying for my boys attention all the time. They're not inherently evil, but media is a huge distraction for boys in general, and a headache I don't need. They get to play at friends' houses. A few years ago, my oldest ds seemed obsessed with playing every time he got a chance and I second guessed my decision for a while. But that has passed and he expresses absolutely no interest in them now. He also has an older adult cousin who has recently quit all gaming because of excessive play and addiction. I think it has dawned on him what a waste of time it is and how easy it is to get addicted.

 

Finally, we play almost no pop music in the car. We play a wide variety of music, but hand pick fun songs that we all enjoy, or songs that I find harmless/feel-good, but not objectionable. I try to avoid songs that focus a ton on boy-girl relationships and such.

 

I have never looked back on any of these decisions.

[LibraryLover]

Showing my own inexperience here, but what about the Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack? I know at least one kid who was launched on bluegrass by that album. Plus, some of it fits neatly into your Modern History year. :D

 

 

There is a movie we love!

[Saille]

I don't know what we'd do without techno music (including Lady GaGa). We don't pay attention to the lyrics but dancing like fools is our main source of exercise around here.

 

I have a few songs on my iPod (mostly this is Glee's fault). I think there's a difference between making informed choices and just opening up the castle gates so the marketing types can "have at" your kids.

 

LibraryLover, this is not the first time I've noticed we're on similar pages with this stuff. Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs are both big here. We love Pixar, but avoid most of the Disney Princess type movies.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I've absolutely curtailed exposure to...I guess I'd say commercial culture. I see the whole point of things like Clear Channel radio stations as being to control what we listen to. I get stressed out listening to ABC cross-promote Disney and all its other labels. Here's a really interesting chart showing who owns what. There are an infinite number of conflicts of interest out there.

 

At our house, we eschew most media directed at kids, and we don't have a lot of screen time. We started out doing this because of commercialism and concerns about the timing of kids' TV shows, and it became a habit. No cross-marketed characters and no kids' commercials equals a lot less brainwashing. We listen to public radio and indie music, world music, motown, jazz, classical, folk, etc.. Pandora makes that pretty easy, and you can stream radio stations via the internet or using a roku box. We like KEXP in Seattle, and WRSI (The River), in Amherst, which has an awesome kids' music show called Spare the Rock.

 

With an older kid, I'd probably start any pullback by doing some media literacy instruction. The link upthread allows you to watch a frontline documentary called The Merchants of Cool online. It's excellent. You should watch it yourself first, b/c the segment on Insane Clown Posse has a lot of language and you'll probably want to skip it given your dd's age.

 

Also, there's a book on Amazon called Made You Look that would make good reading for your dd. Hey Kidz, Buy This Book is more activistic in tone, but I'm fond of it. Media manipulation of our kids is a peeve of mine, and some online acquaintances I've "known" way longer than you mamas were involved in this book's publication. It's on my son's reading list for this year.

 

I know that a lot of religous homeschoolers are objecting primarily to what they perceive to be immoral content when they restrict media, but I do not think it can be said enough that, regardless of your political or religious beliefs, most media addressed to children is designed to fundamentally manipulate their likes, interests, culture, etc., with a deliberate focus on subverting the influence of the parent. There are an enormous number of books on this topic for adults.

:iagree:

[jazzyfizzle]

I'm glad I am not the only one seeing problems with iCarly. I was going to mention that here before. At first it seemed sweet and fun, so I allowed them to watch it. Then I watched closer- in one episode Sam actually shouts in the face of an elderly woman. She shouts something like- 'WHAT are you looking AT?!' I'm not too pleased with the other Nickelodian crap either.

 

We do not limit for CC reason, I just don't want my kids seeing that raving junk.

 

For Bluegrass, my kids adore Ralph Stanley.

[LibraryLover]

I have a few songs on my iPod (mostly this is Glee's fault). I think there's a difference between making informed choices and just opening up the castle gates so the marketing types can "have at" your kids.

 

LibraryLover, this is not the first time I've noticed we're on similar pages with this stuff. Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs are both big here. We love Pixar, but avoid most of the Disney Princess type movies.

 

 

In my cable-less existence, we are lucky to have Netflix. We were watching MB last night.

[missesd]

The kids get about 1-2 hours a day to be used on the computer or playstation. It is earned by doing their chores for the day. Their chores consist of one room in the very small house we're in, and a rotation in the kitchen.

 

We have no cable/satellite for that very reason listed above.

 

Anything that is download has a main account and has to go through us for approval first.

 

IF they have an ipod, all songs must be submitted to us so we can look up the lyics BEFORE they are downloaded.

 

Once they turn 16, when they are allowed to date, drive and have a job, some of these restrictions get lifted, like the ipod. However, if *I* hear inappropriate music it has to be removed and all other music weeded through. They get 3 saves, as long as it's nothing too horrible. We don't allow f* bombs, or excessive sexual context. I will admit we are running into some interference on this from the almost 17 yr old :(

 

We do have Netflix streaming through the PS3. And while I like the benefits, I don't like the easy access for the kids, I am reconsidering hubby's choice on that one... but he doesn't know it yet ;)

 

I personally wish that we could order cable/satellite ala cart. So we could have some of the kids shows, the History channel, Discovery, etc... That would really rock!! I am really, really hoping someone does it SOON!!

 

There are no electronics AT ALL for the kids on Sunday, with the exception of the eldest being able to talk on his phone. This is to teach sacrifice on the Sabbath to those that aren't able to have a job. We sacrifice the ability to make that extra money to keep His day holy. We also sacrifice going to out to eat or shopping for the same reason, and it is one of hubby's ONLY day off for BOTH jobs. I do allow TV if it brings The Spirit into the home, or the computer if it is needed for a church talk, etc...

Edited October 27, 2010 by missesd

[farmgirlinwv]

Wow! What great responses. I did not mean to imply that only Christians restrict access to pop culture. It was only meant to inform that there may be CC in this thread.

 

I am talking to her about what I find problematic with her TV choices. She understands, but still wants to watch. Her music choices are not horrible. We have already eliminated the worst of it. She's restricted in her radio access as well due to lyrics. I am going to check out the books/websites listed in this thread.

 

I told her about Christian music. She was interested in upbeat young music. Any suggestions? Also, where to begin w/ Bluegrass. She does enjoy it. She also wanted to listen to jazz. Where would be a good starting point there? I know nothing of jazz.

 

I was thinking of doing F-451 as a RA this year. I may go ahead w/ it.

 

So, thanks so much for all the thoughtful responses. I'm still reading them. It's nice to know I'm not the only mean mom. I think I may have bought into the "I don't want my kid to be a hs dork.", and that's why I allowed some things. So she would be able to have conversations w/ other dc. It's just not worth it.

 

Off to read!

Many thanks,

 

Farmgirl

[Saille]

I did not mean to imply that only Christians restrict access to pop culture. It was only meant to inform that there may be CC in this thread.

 

That's what I took away from it.

 

LL, we love the Netflix. Love. Someone here pointed out that Beakman's World has been added, but we haven't watched it yet.

[Gwenhwyfar]

farmgirl ~ given your daughter's age (i also have a dd13-almost14) i wouldn't just 'ban' or 'forbid' the music/shows that she seems to be enjoying --- that sort of slam down stuff tends to push those teen independence/rebellion buttons better than anything else. ;) ...what i would do, if you are uncomfortable with your daughter's choices in music/etc is start a discussion with her -- talk about the lyrics/attitudes on the shows, talk about why they concern you. find out what it is that attracts HER to these things.

 

you can't expect a teen who loves pop music to suddenly start drooling over bluegrass/classical/etc. :tongue_smilie:

 

remember YOUR music as a teen? did your folks ever go "oh listen to this! this was my fave song when i was your age!" and beam at you, waiting for you to light up and love it -- while you sat there hoping they didn't notice the blood dripping from your ears? :laugh:

 

anyway. talk to her - share your concerns. see if you can find some alternatives that SHE enjoys and that you're okay with....if it's pop she likes and you're christians, there are a variety of pop-style christian bands (heck, there are metal/rock/jazz/country/rap/whatever christian bands) that may have messages that you like ---- and sounds that she likes.

[LaissezFaire]

It probably will not be any help to you because she is already into pop culture but we just never exposed them. We never turn on Disney channel or listen to radio stations that listen to those types of songs. We do listen to classic rock and such but there isn't as much of a pull to a certain sort of lifestyle with that music (at least not anymore now that it is 'old' stuff).

 

In all honesty I think it's much harder to pull away from something she is already used to. It might cause a lot of friction. Possibly the best idea would be to get her involved in some activities that take up a lot of her free time leaving her less time for TV and such.

[MariannNOVA]

I haven't read all the other responses, but from the ones I have read, I feel much less extreme.:hurray:

 

We've had no tv since February - the attitudes, lack of visible parents or on-screen parents who were idiots, dress, etc., prompted this decision.

 

Music -- In the car, we listen to a Christian music station. At home, dd11 has a radio and will listen sometimes to the same station. ds10 plays guitar and writes his own music and lyrics - not surprisingly, faith-centered and family-centered. He and the girls performed one of his songs last week at co-op with a family slide show playing in the background.

 

DH and I totally screen and control all electronic influence -- in the past year, we have done away with PS2, DS', we don't have nor plan to get a Wii (I realize that is more of a screen addiction thing than an influence thing but it kind of all comes under the same umbrella), netflix and other movies are what dh and I select.

 

I can say in all honesty, my kids will play with LEGO for hours (and I mean 4, 5, 6) hours at a time. They have a playroom that is set up just for LEGO, and while they have always played amazing imaginery games, as they have become older, they seem to use their imaginations even more (using scenes from books, etc).

 

At this point in their young lives, I think that my kids need my influence more than anyone else's influence.

[BeckyFL]

We only allowed Christian music from the very beginning. We talked about it and explained why and the kids were happy the music they listened to. We went to a lot of Christian concerts and even met some of the artists. When they were older, they could make their own choices. They STILL love Christian music and worship music especially. My oldest ds minored in worship leadership.

[The Girls' Mom]

For upbeat Christian, try Toby Mac, Francesca Battistelli, Newsboys, SuperChick and Hawk Nelson. She may also like David Crowder, Sanctus Real, Leeland, and Third Day. Those are some of my favorites.

[lionfamily1999]

Wow! What great responses. I did not mean to imply that only Christians restrict access to pop culture. It was only meant to inform that there may be CC in this thread.

 

I am talking to her about what I find problematic with her TV choices. She understands, but still wants to watch. Her music choices are not horrible. We have already eliminated the worst of it. She's restricted in her radio access as well due to lyrics. I am going to check out the books/websites listed in this thread.

 

I told her about Christian music. She was interested in upbeat young music. Any suggestions? Also, where to begin w/ Bluegrass. She does enjoy it. She also wanted to listen to jazz. Where would be a good starting point there? I know nothing of jazz.

 

I was thinking of doing F-451 as a RA this year. I may go ahead w/ it.

 

So, thanks so much for all the thoughtful responses. I'm still reading them. It's nice to know I'm not the only mean mom. I think I may have bought into the "I don't want my kid to be a hs dork.", and that's why I allowed some things. So she would be able to have conversations w/ other dc. It's just not worth it.

 

Off to read!

Many thanks,

 

Farmgirl

It sounds like you're really on top of things :D Good start!

[Tarreymere]

1. For the boys, we just shut it off. No more tv, it's been disconnected. For dd (who has her own stereo and things) it's been more of an appeal to her understanding. We've discussed how such things can tear a person down. We talked about what we should do versus what we actually do and how seeing people misbehaving (or singing with them) can lead us to think that those wrong things aren't so wrong.

 

2. The same reasons you listed. For the boys, they were becoming real brats. I started off just blocking out Disney (Suite Life) and then I realized that a little of this could be entertaining, but there's no break from this bratty, crappy behavior on most of the kids' channels. Then we discovered hulu and netflix (which meant that they could still see shows I didn't mind them watching and less advertising).

 

3. Yes and no :p I didn't replace it, but the kids did. They've replaced it with playing, imagination, reading, walking and the millions of other things they could have been doing when they were being swept away with tv and radio. We all listen to classical music and we have found a GREAT Christian radio station with music that we all enjoy listening too.

 

 

 

 

It's really not all that hard once you start, and especially if you include the kids in on the decision. Dd listens to the Christian and classical music and she says she feels better, because there are no cringe moments.

 

:iagree:

 

We just got rid of cable and refuse to permit any viewing of disney or icarly or suite life or any of those shows. We don't listen to the radio, we have napster and I decide on the playlists. We don't listen to music in the car, either. DH is a musician in a rock band and he is a big help to me in choosing decent music with appropriate themes from a wide variety of genres.

And we also did this because we got tired of listening to the same smart comments from our kids that they had learned from tv shows, and the general attitude of disrespect.

[lionfamily1999]

:iagree:

 

We just got rid of cable and refuse to permit any viewing of disney or icarly or suite life or any of those shows. We don't listen to the radio, we have napster and I decide on the playlists. We don't listen to music in the car, either. DH is a musician in a rock band and he is a big help to me in choosing decent music with appropriate themes from a wide variety of genres.

And we also did this because we got tired of listening to the same smart comments from our kids that they had learned from tv shows, and the general attitude of disrespect.

Yes!

[Binalina]

1. For the boys, we just shut it off. No more tv, it's been disconnected. For dd (who has her own stereo and things) it's been more of an appeal to her understanding. We've discussed how such things can tear a person down. We talked about what we should do versus what we actually do and how seeing people misbehaving (or singing with them) can lead us to think that those wrong things aren't so wrong.

 

2. The same reasons you listed. For the boys, they were becoming real brats. I started off just blocking out Disney (Suite Life) and then I realized that a little of this could be entertaining, but there's no break from this bratty, crappy behavior on most of the kids' channels. Then we discovered hulu and netflix (which meant that they could still see shows I didn't mind them watching and less advertising).

 

3. Yes and no :p I didn't replace it, but the kids did. They've replaced it with playing, imagination, reading, walking and the millions of other things they could have been doing when they were being swept away with tv and radio. We all listen to classical music and we have found a GREAT Christian radio station with music that we all enjoy listening too.

 

 

 

 

It's really not all that hard once you start, and especially if you include the kids in on the decision. Dd listens to the Christian and classical music and she says she feels better, because there are no cringe moments.

 

:iagree:

 

And I would add....

 

I have noticed that Disney Starlets generally grow up way too fast (but their fan base has not yet) and I think it's almost like a trap that parents unwittingly fall into. They don't mind the kiddie shows but then the star graduates from Disney they become over-sexualized and the parents do not approve of their child seeing such clothing or listening to such music but the child is already a big fan of the star - and it creates a big division betweens parents and kids.

 

Take for example - Mylie Cyrus - and several before her.

 

I don't allow Disney at all and I don't allow listening to the radio without me around. It's worth it to me to protect their innocence for as long as possible. They will find out all these things as they grow up - when they are more mature and ready to decide what is right. For now - that's my job.

[Barry Goldwater]

What would you recommend to a person that is interested in listening to bluegrass music but has no idea where to start?

 

Some of our favorites:

 

Allison Krauss

Ricky Skaggs

Vince Gill

The Seldom Scene

Bill Monroe

Flatt & Scruggs

Chet Atkins

Benny Goodman (more big-band, but still awesome stuff)

 

Keep your eye on the paper...Many Baptist churches in our area host Gospel singers & bluegrass bands all the time. Those are lots of fun and family friendly. They often sell their CD's after the event, if they have them...I've picked up some great 'part-timer' music that way!

 

Even the 'secular' bluegrass musicians play a lot of Gospel themed music...some of the old secular standards can be grim (great depression, lost love, A Robin Built a Nest on Daddy's Grave, etc.)...I suggest checking out some of these musicians on youtube, check the 'recommendeds' and see what you like.

 

Jazz is so broad of a genera (I would probably end up in an argument about what definitions we use!), it really depends on what you like...DW loves clarinet / sax music...I am a big fan of jazz guitar...it's hard to recommend. But you could start with:

 

John Coultrane

Louis Armstrong

Winton Marsallis

Miles Davis

Tal Farlow

Al Dimeola

 

Have fun researching! The library and the internet are your friend!

Edited October 27, 2010 by Barry Goldwater
Forgot Benny Goodman