Is not getting any better. ...

[Maddysmom26]

:banghead:

 

Im really thinking I made wrong decision to HS. we had a few good days out of 3 weeks. Starting week 4 and its horrible. She just refuses to do anything.

 

Hates being home all the time. Nothings fun...

 

I just dont even know what to do..:confused: :001_unsure:

[Parrothead]

Since we are in the cheerful obedience the first time every time camp, I can not fathom a child refusing to do what his/her parent tells him/her to do. Do you have a battle of wills going on? Was your dd involved with the decision to homeschool? I think I missed how old she is.

 

I'm not one to reward bad behavior, but maybe a trip to the local coffee shop where you can both do some school work is in order. There are ways of making homeschool fun. But for us the fun only happens when behavior is appropriate.

[Entropymama]

Ok, I hope I'm not hijacking the thread, but how do you enforce the 'cheerful obedience the first time every time' behavior? My kids are really good most of the time but that part we have a hard time with. Namely the cheerful part. What do you do? PM me if I'm too off topic for this thread.

[Dobela]

One of our 'rules' is tht for ps to even be considered, our child has to show us a willingness to work at home and have good attitude/behavior. If he isn't good for us,then we can't know that he will be for others. He hasn't gone yet for other reasons, but when the topic comes up, that is what we say.

 

Change of place is nice. Even if it is just working at fast food places over a couple of sodas. Even I like that.

 

You may also need to hang on for a time. Change is hard and takes time to become comfortable.

[delaney]

Ok, I hope I'm not hijacking the thread, but how do you enforce the 'cheerful obedience the first time every time' behavior? My kids are really good most of the time but that part we have a hard time with. Namely the cheerful part. What do you do? PM me if I'm too off topic for this thread.

No please share! Inquiring minds want to know!

 

I am no veteran in the HSing world but it seems taking it from the table..maybe out on the lawn on a blanket or to the park would show her the convenience of being home?

[Gwenhwyfar]

:banghead:

 

Im really thinking I made wrong decision to HS. we had a few good days out of 3 weeks. Starting week 4 and its horrible. She just refuses to do anything.

 

Hates being home all the time. Nothings fun...

 

I just dont even know what to do..:confused: :001_unsure:

 

i would toss aside the "school books" and just spend some time having fun together ~ connecting.

 

read this ~ it does come from an unschooling perspective (and i realize by your sig that you're not) but the first few paragraphs are important for *any* new homeschooler (and old). ;)

[elfgivas]

Since we are in the cheerful obedience the first time every time camp, I can not fathom a child refusing to do what his/her parent tells him/her to do. Do you have a battle of wills going on? Was your dd involved with the decision to homeschool? I think I missed how old she is.

 

I'm not one to reward bad behavior, but maybe a trip to the local coffee shop where you can both do some school work is in order. There are ways of making homeschool fun. But for us the fun only happens when behavior is appropriate.

 

:iagree: with all of what parrothead says here. i'd add in that trying to find a few things that she loves to do, and doing them early on might help a lot. eg. when we were having a poetry rebellion i took the girls to the huntington gardens, we had tea and then we read poetry in the japanese garden. it transformed everyone. or make fridays field trip day... have her come up with a list of places she'd like to go, and start going there on fridays. or have a backwards day.... pizza for breakfast, playing outside before you do your school work, etc., etc.

 

or find her a class or tutor to teach her something she loves (dance, music, art???) and have the lessons in the early afternoon while school is still in session. that way, homeschooling is allowing her to do things that school doesn't.

 

another thing i have been known to say is "why dont' you go outside to the hammock and do your math there? it doesn't matter where you do it; it matters that you do it cheerfully and well." (some days i find myself defining cheerfully as "without verbal complaining" ; ). another one is "you can do it cheerfully now or you can do it in a few minutes after you've lost television privileges". the dc have shorted that to "do it now or after we've lost everything". or "you may not speak to me that way. please go into the sunroom and pick up 5 things and then come back". repeat as necessary.

 

we also found following the ideas in the book "peaceful parents, peaceful kids" by naomi drew to be transformative. it includes things like spending 15 minutes a day one on one with a child doing what they would like to do.

 

read alouds at breakfast, if well chosen, can also put everyone in the mood to be a little gentler with one another.

 

there is hope.... but my hunch is that you need to fully commit to being certain it is the right choice.

 

hang in there,

ann

 

eta: maybe finding a homeschool group nearby so she can get to know other homeschoolers and do a few things together would help a lot? you have a lot on your plate, too, so maybe some tea and chocolate for you every afternoon at 4pm is in order, too!

Edited September 27, 2010 by elfgivas@yahoo.com

[Gwenhwyfar]

Since we are in the cheerful obedience the first time every time camp, I can not fathom a child refusing to do what his/her parent tells him/her to do.

 

...and i can't fathom forcing someone to stuff down their emotions and wear a fake cheery attitude all the time. child or adult. :confused:

 

(am i misunderstanding? open to clarification if i am.)

[Denisemomof4]

I also want to add that it takes a GOOD year, maybe two, for you to find your groove. You will learn which curriculum choices you like, which you want to change. You will find things for your kids to do with other homeschool kids. Your kids will likely learn to like homeschooling.

 

I had to pull my social butterfly out of school (I've been homeschooling for 12 years but put kids in school for a time) and she was VERY sad. She was happy to spend more time with me, but she really missed school and her friends. She LOVES hs now.

 

I would try rewards. I remember with my boys we had a treat jar that they could pull something out of at the end of a GOOD day. On bad days, I had NO tolerance for a child who wouldn't do their work. They sat at the kitchen table until work was done, PERIOD. They QUICKLY learned that if they focus, not fool around TOO much (we DO want to allow funtime and joy), and do a good job, the rest of the day was theirs to do as they chose. The issue of not doing a good job on their work was resolved almost immediately.

 

I also had a chore chart and school work was on that chart. We used this to determine bed time. We added bonus minutes for something being done (can't think of an example) and took away minutes for other things. The first day we did this my boys went to bed at 6:00 p.m. Since dinner wasn't made, peanut butter sandwiches and milk was what they ate and went to bed. After that, they did an amazing job on getting ALL their work and chores done, and regularly added bonus minutes to their bed time. This, by far, was the most successful strategy I ever used to get my kids to do their work and chores. Honestly, though, they learned QUICKLY to finish their work so they could go play.

 

Your kids need to learn that school work is not optional, and they need to do this first before they can add anything else to their day.

[Guest]

This is just a thought that may be completely be missing the mark, but what I first thought of when I looked at your siggy was: maybe your dd is upset that the time she has with you has turned into "work" time? Your schedule looks really full and I wonder if she feels she's losing just mom-daughter time? Or are you leaving work for her to get through on her own while you're at classes, and perhaps she needs someone to sit by her and work with her?

 

If something like this is the case, taking school out somewhere might help. But I wonder whether you could back up just a tad, and rather than jumping into the full program right away, begin over again with a lot of reading aloud cuddling together (if she's the cuddling type/age), taking a few field trips, and using some games instead of workbooks and textbooks? For instance, math can be practiced through games like Dino Math; logic through beginner's chess; spelling through games like Wheel of Fortune, Hangman, and Scrabble; there are timeline games for history. There are great picture books for math and science that you could read together. Does she like to write anything at all not related to school? Many girls like diaries or journals at this age (my dd hated them and still does) or writing short stories. Don't grade it. Just let her do whatever kind of writing that appeals to her for the moment.

 

I'd give her a good couple of months like this. Homeschooling is just as much about your relationship -- inevitably -- than about the content of school.

 

If this just doesn't apply to your case please ignore!

[Denisemomof4]

I'm sorry, I didn't notice your signature when I replied.

 

Since this is your FIRST year and she was pulled out of school, I'd make sure you have PLENTY of time doing FUN stuff like plays, field trips, etc. Do you have her involved with other homeschooled kids? Are you in a group? Does she have activities?

 

Since she's used to a school setting and being around kids, you want to make sure she stays socially connected.

 

I admire your desire to hs her, go to college, all this while being a single mom. My hat is off to you.

:grouphug:

[AngelaNYC]

i would toss aside the "school books" and just spend some time having fun together ~ connecting.

 

read this ~ it does come from an unschooling perspective (and i realize by your sig that you're not) but the first few paragraphs are important for *any* new homeschooler (and old). ;)

 

 

:iagree:

 

Deschooling is so important. Your dd needs to learn how to just "be". School had her rely on teachers to find things to do, know what to think, and follow rules created for large groups of kids. Deschooling is all about being with her, taking out to field trips (don't try and teach - just have fun), going for walks, etc. Make every day like a great Saturday.

 

Then after a while you can start adding in the academics. Don't worry. She won't be "behind". So much learning will be taking place during the deschooling. Make note of all the cool questions she starts asking. Whatever interests she has, try and foster that. Go to homeschool group get-togethers.

 

It worked for me and for hundreds of others. Good luck! I'm excited to hear what great things come out of it.

[LibraryLover]

i would toss aside the "school books" and just spend some time having fun together ~ connecting.

 

read this ~ it does come from an unschooling perspective (and i realize by your sig that you're not) but the first few paragraphs are important for *any* new homeschooler (and old). ;)

 

 

:) I have found that connection is everything. If you have that, the rest will unfold in wonderful ways. And the child will learn (the child is always learning), and it will be good. :)

Edited September 27, 2010 by LibraryLover

[sewpeaceful]

I also want to add that it takes a GOOD year, maybe two, for you to find your groove. You will learn which curriculum choices you like, which you want to change. You will find things for your kids to do with other homeschool kids. Your kids will likely learn to like homeschooling.

 

I had to pull my social butterfly out of school (I've been homeschooling for 12 years but put kids in school for a time) and she was VERY sad. She was happy to spend more time with me, but she really missed school and her friends. She LOVES hs now.

 

I would try rewards. I remember with my boys we had a treat jar that they could pull something out of at the end of a GOOD day. On bad days, I had NO tolerance for a child who wouldn't do their work. They sat at the kitchen table until work was done, PERIOD. They QUICKLY learned that if they focus, not fool around TOO much (we DO want to allow funtime and joy), and do a good job, the rest of the day was theirs to do as they chose. The issue of not doing a good job on their work was resolved almost immediately.

 

I also had a chore chart and school work was on that chart. We used this to determine bed time. We added bonus minutes for something being done (can't think of an example) and took away minutes for other things. The first day we did this my boys went to bed at 6:00 p.m. Since dinner wasn't made, peanut butter sandwiches and milk was what they ate and went to bed. After that, they did an amazing job on getting ALL their work and chores done, and regularly added bonus minutes to their bed time. This, by far, was the most successful strategy I ever used to get my kids to do their work and chores. Honestly, though, they learned QUICKLY to finish their work so they could go play.

 

Your kids need to learn that school work is not optional, and they need to do this first before they can add anything else to their day.

 

:iagree: There is a LOT of wisdom in her post. EVERY family I know that pulled kids out of PS, especially as late as age 10, took a year just to decompress and get the PS mentality out of their system. HSing is a learned family lifestyle, it isn't simply doing school at home. Learning can be done in and out of books and OFTEN is more effective if books aren't always involved. Am I saying stop schooling? Gosh no. But maybe lighten a little? I love the reward jar idea (I must add this one to my repertoire), no other activities are allowed until in the swing of HSing, and if it is the same subject EVERY day you are fighting over, maybe it is time to step back and take a look at why this one subject is such a headache. There are TONS of curriculums out there for a reason. We've changed more times than I care to count in our 5 years but we are FINALLY in a good groove (for the most part, Lol).

 

Mom, give yourself and your daughter a break. You have a HUGE undertaking - FT school for you and for her.

 

Also, may I suggest you write her a love letter? Remind her of the wonderful qualities you see in her, cite examples, tell her you are proud of her (because I know you are - you're a mom!). Sometimes it just helps for the child to hear/read why mom and dad think they are so great. Affirmation is VERY powerful. It helps a TON at our house when we start having more bad days than good. In fact, my dh just had to write our ds a love letter last night. Our ds GLOWED when he read how great dad thinks he is. You would be amazed at the difference in behavior from last week and weekend to today. :D

 

Hang in there. Listen to the verteran moms. Give yourself and your daughter a big ol' hug. Change it up. If you are a praying woman - now would be a good time to hand it over. :)

 

:grouphug:

 

LB

[Maddysmom26]

Shes an only child first of all and Im a single parent , it has always been this way. she attended PS until last year 4th grade.

 

Im trying to make it as fun as possible with the time I have. My classes are online so Im flexible with my time. Ive tried the field trip and out to lunch stuff which she loved.

 

Its just that Im in NY and I have to report what we do. Ive already given a list of the texts we are using. SO at the 1st quarter we will be expected to send a report of how far we have made it through..

 

So i cant grasp the reality of just tossing the books all together.. :001_huh: I just feel like if its not on paper, shes not learning everything shee needs. I know you learn alot from just lving but for school purposes.. (if she had to go back to ps at some point) I feel like she would be way behind if toss the books and just live with her.

 

( and really im not asking her to do a TON of work.. we cover the basics and do few practice problems)

 

she hates to read outloud with me, she's very stubborn beyond belief!

I have tried the rewards and token system which worked okay at first..

but now its just " i hate always being home" & this isnt fun at all.

Ive tried to explain if we get the work done then you have the rest of the day free.. but then its like " to do what? be home all day"

 

we dont live where its easy to just go places.. its a distance.. 30 min to any major shopping/movie/book store etc.

I dont know of any homeschooling groups that we would fit in.

Im trying to find someoneto give guitar and or piano lessons, but again that will be a hike to(which i dont mind) its just finding someone.

 

Sometimes I wish I could just start over in a new place.! i really hate where we live anyway.

[Daisy]

i would toss aside the "school books" and just spend some time having fun together ~ connecting.

 

I agree and I'm not an unschooler. I think if your daughter has been in ps all this time, that the two of you need to reconnect. Get to know each other. Discover your interests.

 

Reading together, playing games, doing fun crafts (or scrapbooking or cooking or whatever hobbies you have), and lots of P.E.

 

I'd focus on all the learning she didn't get in ps. Learning to identify nature. Growing a garden. Whatever gets her interested.

 

Oops, missed your last post. Hm... Well, that makes it harder.

[HayesW]

This is our third year homeschooling two of mine and the second year for my oldest. It has just this year gotten good. We still have our occassional crummy days, but honestly, it is finally good now. It will take more than a month.

[Ellie]

Its just that Im in NY and I have to report what we do. Ive already given a list of the texts we are using. SO at the 1st quarter we will be expected to send a report of how far we have made it through..

Ok, this is just our friend Peekaboo's opinion, but here's what she wrote about those quarterly reports:

 

This is basically your IHIP’s subject list, accompanied by how much of your “curriculum†you’ve covered, like lessons 1-50 in a workbook [if using library books, maybe 5 topics covered], and an assessment/grade level. I always put down “satisfactory†even my kid is a flipping genius. Period.

 

Wouldn't this be possible for you?

 

So i can't grasp the reality of just tossing the books all together.. :001_huh: I just feel like if its not on paper, shes not learning everything shee needs. I know you learn alot from just lving but for school purposes.. (if she had to go back to ps at some point) I feel like she would be way behind if toss the books and just live with her.

But you can write down stuff she learns that isn't in a textbook, or that you didn't expressly teach her, and then it's "on paper." :) Besides, as long as you keep up her math reasonably well, and she does some reading and writing, she wouldn't be so far "behind" that she couldn't catch up pretty quckly, although you might be surprised to find out that she was right on track anyway.

 

she hates to read outloud with me, she's very stubborn beyond belief!

Why does she have to read aloud to you???? Do you read aloud to her? Or to anyone else?

[simka2]

In your situation I would probly lean towards a combo approach. First I would have "another" sit down discussion with dd, about what the state requires her to accomplish.

 

Brainstorm a schedule/plan together about how she is going to accomplish this. Here's where it gets tricky...any and all extra's are dependent upon her accomplishing the goals, with a decent attitude.

 

She can do school next to a sunny window, or you can remove any extras from her room and she can stay there till she has accomplished what you have decided upon. It is up to her and her attitude. We have a rule about being "fit" company for the rest of us...even if that is just me. If my kids are having a rough day, and are emotional...they still go to their room. That is their safe place...to proccess their emotions.

 

Routine is hard to establish, but I have found it is very important to allow appropriate attitudes in the main living rooms. Emotions are not wrong, but there is wisdom in knowing where to express them.

 

Also, there is wisdom in deschooling. Remember that even in ps they do not cover every lesson. Mark what you need to, do your best...but follow a system that is best for your dd...not the state;).

[Corraleno]

Homeschooling is just as much about your relationship -- inevitably -- than about the content of school.

:) I have found that connection is everything. If you have that, the rest will unfold in wonderful ways. You just won't have those terrible arguments. And the child will learn (the child is always learning), and it will be good. :)

:iagree:

Your relationship is THE most important thing. If that's good, school will be good. If your relationship consists of butting heads and a battle of wills, homeschooling will be horrible and you'll end up either putting her back in PS or losing your relationship (which is worse than putting her in PS, IMO).

 

To be honest, your description of your situation doesn't sound very appealing for a child — she's home all day with no one to play with and half an hour's drive from anywhere that would be fun or interesting. IMO if this is going to work for both of you, you really need to find at least one group activity (Girl Scouts, 4H, homeschool coop, playgroup, ballet/gymnastics/art classes, or something) that involves other kids at least once/wk, and then add another fun trip every week that's just the two of you — museum, nature hike, book store, even a coffee shop. It seems like she gave up a lot when you brought her home, and from her perspective there's nothing new or better to make up for it, so she's feeling angry and resentful.

 

My kids also missed their friends when I first pulled them out of school, but they have Tae Kwon Do 3-4 nights/wk, we do a nature walk or field trip at least once/wk, DD is in Brownies and takes violin lessons (which includes a group lesson every week), and both kids have standing play dates with friends every Friday afternoon and Sunday afternoon. We also do lots of fun, hands-on art and science projects, do our work outside when the weather is nice, etc., so they feel like they didn't give up much and gained a whole lot by homeschooling. If you can't make homeschooling seem like a positive choice instead of a punishment, I think it will always be a battle of wills. And you may win the battles (forcing her to stay home, forcing her to do the work) but lose the war (your relationship).

 

Jackie

[Parrothead]

Ok, I hope I'm not hijacking the thread, but how do you enforce the 'cheerful obedience the first time every time' behavior? My kids are really good most of the time but that part we have a hard time with. Namely the cheerful part. What do you do? PM me if I'm too off topic for this thread.

I started another thread

[Parrothead]

Shes an only child first of all and Im a single parent , it has always been this way. she attended PS until last year 4th grade.

Sounds more like a need to deschool than a discipline issue. Approach things as differently as you are able. Book work can be done outside or at Tim Hortons or at the library on occasion.

 

Im trying to make it as fun as possible with the time I have. My classes are online so Im flexible with my time. Ive tried the field trip and out to lunch stuff which she loved.

Make sure that she knows these things are possible often if she gets other things done at home. Do you take Fridays off or have possibly have them as short days? Dd has only a spelling test on Friday. She is free to play video games, watch TV, invite over her other homeschool friends with short days, etc by noon on Fridays. Maybe you can implement something like that with the understanding that if the weekly work is not completed then Fridays are catch up days.

Its just that Im in NY and I have to report what we do. Ive already given a list of the texts we are using. SO at the 1st quarter we will be expected to send a report of how far we have made it through..

I understand. I don't have it as bad, but where I am I have to show work in a portfolio or have dd take a standardized test. I feel like the work has to be completed one way or anther. I was not comfortable about fudging my first couple years homeschooling.

 

So i cant grasp the reality of just tossing the books all together.. :001_huh: I just feel like if its not on paper, shes not learning everything shee needs. I know you learn alot from just lving but for school purposes.. (if she had to go back to ps at some point) I feel like she would be way behind if toss the books and just live with her.

If you are not comfortable with tossing the books, then don't. But there are other approaches besides "school at home." Unschooling is the polar opposite, but unless you had a local guide for filling out required reports I don't know how comfortable you'll be. Check with your state homeschooling association. Someone should be able to support your finding a middle ground and fulfilling the requirements of the state.

 

Actually I know there are quite a few parents from NY state here on the boards. Start another thread asking for assistance with that.

 

( and really im not asking her to do a TON of work.. we cover the basics and do few practice problems)

 

she hates to read outloud with me, she's very stubborn beyond belief!

I have tried the rewards and token system which worked okay at first..

but now its just " i hate always being home" & this isnt fun at all.

Ive tried to explain if we get the work done then you have the rest of the day free.. but then its like " to do what? be home all day"

You'll have to find what works with your kid and stick with it. Friends that also homeschool help. My dd is an only almost 11 year old. There are plenty of days we sit here and watch TV because we have nothing else to do after school. This happens mostly in the dead of winter though. I do try to make sure she is busy most afternoons with outside activities. I don't know if you can fit in 3 dance classes, karate and a girls' club though.

 

P.S. I agree with a previous poster. Why do you have her read aloud? If this is a must do then change it up some. Can the two of you take turns reading from the book at bed time?

 

we dont live where its easy to just go places.. its a distance.. 30 min to any major shopping/movie/book store etc.

I dont know of any homeschooling groups that we would fit in.

Im trying to find someoneto give guitar and or piano lessons, but again that will be a hike to(which i dont mind) its just finding someone.

Check with the local library or the state association for recommendations. The librarians may be able to give you names for local people and the state association will give you contact names/numbers for groups.

Sometimes I wish I could just start over in a new place.! i really hate where we live anyway.

 

You do not have to start over in a new place. Simply start over where you are. If you can do it, dump school this week. Take a drive, go to a movie, bake cookies play home spa. Reconnect with your kid. She is also old enough to let you know what she needs out of school. Let her know you value her input.

[Pippen]

So i cant grasp the reality of just tossing the books all together.. :001_huh: I just feel like if its not on paper, shes not learning everything shee needs. I know you learn alot from just lving but for school purposes.. (if she had to go back to ps at some point) I feel like she would be way behind if toss the books and just live with her.

 

( and really im not asking her to do a TON of work.. we cover the basics and do few practice problems)

 

I hear you on this but let me give you a different perspective. I pulled my daughter out to homeschool 5th grade last year and while it was incredibly easy for us to settle into, I learned a lot along the way. Take science for instance--she was at the point where she hated it, and I have ten years experience in teaching HS science plus an MS in Curriculum & Instruction. I had the background to do almost anything with her in science and after doing some trial and error what really hit home for her in science were Bill Nye DVD's and loads of hands-on activities and labs. I ditched the book, ditched the worksheets, ditched study guides, and most of the lab write-up sheets as well. I seriously had to suck it up that she was responding to Bill Nye better than me (I love him, really I do--called him our guest lecturer and she watched them all). She was so frustrated with science in the ps that she really did need a totally different approach--I found that out quickly when she would shut down every time I pulled out the textbook (which IMO was pretty decent as far as ps textbooks go).

 

She learned a lot of science and by the end of the year my artsy, science-hater was actually enjoying it. Had I stuck to my initial plan I would have had a lot more to show for it on paper, but she likely would have come out of the year with the same attitude as she went in. This is in part why I homeschooled last year, to be flexible in meeting her needs so as to turn some things around for her.

 

she hates to read outloud with me, she's very stubborn beyond belief!

I have tried the rewards and token system which worked okay at first..

but now its just " i hate always being home" & this isnt fun at all.

Ive tried to explain if we get the work done then you have the rest of the day free.. but then its like " to do what? be home all day"

 

What DOES she like and how can you make that work for you? My daughter was so down on school when she came home that she wasn't postive about any of the subjects, even those that had been her favorites. She had this vision of me making everything better, everything fun. When I realized the direction her mind was going I told her flat out I would go to great lengths to make social studies, science, and reading memorable, but that math and grammar were going to be straightforward, without frills courses because I knew I couldn't do it all.

 

Can you pull her into the planning? My daughter had some good ideas about how she could best learn some areas.

 

we dont live where its easy to just go places.. its a distance.. 30 min to any major shopping/movie/book store etc.

I dont know of any homeschooling groups that we would fit in.

Im trying to find someoneto give guitar and or piano lessons, but again that will be a hike to(which i dont mind) its just finding someone.

 

Sometimes I wish I could just start over in a new place.! i really hate where we live anyway.

 

Is she getting out of the house and among girls her own age at all? My daughter needed both time away from me and time away from home or the tension would wind up.

Edited September 27, 2010 by Pippen

[Denisemomof4]

Shes an only child first of all and Im a single parent , it has always been this way. she attended PS until last year 4th grade.

 

Im trying to make it as fun as possible with the time I have. My classes are online so Im flexible with my time. Ive tried the field trip and out to lunch stuff which she loved.

 

Its just that Im in NY and I have to report what we do. Ive already given a list of the texts we are using. SO at the 1st quarter we will be expected to send a report of how far we have made it through..

 

So i cant grasp the reality of just tossing the books all together.. :001_huh: I just feel like if its not on paper, shes not learning everything shee needs. I know you learn alot from just lving but for school purposes.. (if she had to go back to ps at some point) I feel like she would be way behind if toss the books and just live with her.

 

( and really im not asking her to do a TON of work.. we cover the basics and do few practice problems)

 

she hates to read outloud with me, she's very stubborn beyond belief!

I have tried the rewards and token system which worked okay at first..

but now its just " i hate always being home" & this isnt fun at all.

Ive tried to explain if we get the work done then you have the rest of the day free.. but then its like " to do what? be home all day"

 

we dont live where its easy to just go places.. its a distance.. 30 min to any major shopping/movie/book store etc.

I dont know of any homeschooling groups that we would fit in.

Im trying to find someoneto give guitar and or piano lessons, but again that will be a hike to(which i dont mind) its just finding someone.

 

Sometimes I wish I could just start over in a new place.! i really hate where we live anyway.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: It sounds like it will be difficult to get things the way you both want them, but it isn't impossible.

 

First of all, I hate to offend anyone, but I don't recommend putting all books aside. Not at her age, not when just starting school in the 5th grade. I've done this before with my youngest. She's adopted and has severe behavioral issues. Our therapist told me to take the year off, work on relationsihp building. Well, I did, but here we are, she's in second grade, has 60 pages of first grade phonics, will start second grade math next week, is not reading well. *I* know we will overcome this because I've been homeschooling for 12 years now. For a newbie, I wouldn't recommend putting things aside because I do think it will worry you and cause undue stress.

 

What I *would* recommend is that you focus on the necessities: math, spelling, reading, writing. The other subjects, keep light. Make them as fun as possible. If you're using a boring text for history or science, toss them aside. Use real, living books. I *HATED* history as a kid and I absolutely LOVE learning history with my own kids. If you have a boring science text, go for a more hands-on approach.

 

Why would it be hard to find a group to "fit in?" Because you're a SM? I don't think that would matter at all. Yes, there are some fuddy duddy's who will have an opinion on that, but who wants to deal with them? Even I wouldn't, and I'm married.

 

If you don't want to do a group because you're uncomfortable, do it for your dd. She needs the connection. I'm sure she loves you and loves spending time with you, but I think it's good and healthy for her to have connections outside the home. Is she staying connect with her ps friends? Dd is still friends with a couple of them 3 years later. We see our hs friends MORE, but we have a great group we belong to. Sometimes I begrudgingly go, and I love the moms. But when I was hsing my boys, I went to the groups and hated every moment of them. BUT, I did this for my kids.

 

Because she was in PS, I do think you're going to have to find a way to keep her connected, especially because she has no siblings. Do you have family nearby she can visit? Cousins? Being in ps makes your situation difficult. She had something that she misses and still wants. I know, I've been on both sides of the coin. Even now I have kids in ps and hs, so know the issues on both sides.

 

I do think it's important that you do something fun. I used to hs my boys 4 days per week and on Friday we'd go out to lunch and have fun. I hope to do that with my girls this year. I didn't do this as a reward, but in the case of your dd, maybe an incentive could be lunch out on Friday if you've done all your work during the week. Then work on doing all the work with a good attitude. ;)

 

My dd missed school and seeing her friends daily for about the first year or so. With each passing month, though, it got easier. Give it time. Four weeks is nothing!!! But I do think it's important you keep your dd connected. I promised my dd that I'd get her together with her friends a minimum of once per week and I've stuck to that. It's not easy, but I think I've found a balance we're both comfortable with now - THIS YEAR. I pulled her out three years ago. You WILL learn what works and what doesn't.

[Denisemomof4]

I agree and I'm not an unschooler. I think if your daughter has been in ps all this time, that the two of you need to reconnect. Get to know each other. Discover your interests.

 

Reading together, playing games, doing fun crafts (or scrapbooking or cooking or whatever hobbies you have), and lots of P.E.

 

I'd focus on all the learning she didn't get in ps. Learning to identify nature. Growing a garden. Whatever gets her interested.

 

Oops, missed your last post. Hm... Well, that makes it harder.

 

EXCELLENT. My dd's love to garden. We have a farm....can you get chickens? Find out what interests her and do that with her.

 

Find FUN ways (games, etc) to learn certain subjects.

[TravelingChris]

Yes, I am not sure why you think you can't fit in. I am in a different state but here I belong to a co-op that has some homeschooling moms and some homeschooling dads. There are at least three moms that I know of, and I don't know many of them, who are single parents= one is separated, one is widowed, and one is ?. We have multi-racial families, we have people from other countries, we have families where some kids attend co-op and some go to school. We are sponsored by a conservative Baptist Church but there are lots of Catholics attending and most of us aren't even Baptists.

 

What I am saying is don't assume people won't be welcoming. Most of us really are.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Amongst all the great advice, I will also tell you that, if this is your first year homeschooling. do NOT expect all of your expectations to be met! The best way to explain is this: The first year of homeschooling is like the first year of marriage. You are now spending inordinate amounts of time with someone you THOUGHT you knew only to find out they have these issues/quirks/weird habits that baffle you...and they are discovering the same about YOU!" It is an adventure, for sure! Let it be a fun adventure and don't try to make it like "institutional school at home". No one enjoys THAT! Let yourself be flexible and change up routine if need be.

 

Most importantly, remember this: YOU'RE NOT ALONE! :^)

[5LittleMonkeys]

I get the impression that she didn't want to be pulled out of ps. Or maybe she thought it would be great and now is having regrets. (the latter is the problem I had with mine after I pulled them out of ps and they had similar attitudes to the ones your dd is exhibiting)

 

I agree with everyone else that has said that your relationship with her must, must, must come first-before everything else. And you have gotten some good advice on ways to make things better. Part of getting to a better place, in my opinion, would be to start over. I would issue a fall break and take at least 2 weeks to reconnect with her. Since she may be feeling frustrated by the lack of control she has over the situation I would sit down with her and have several constructive discussions with her over the course of the a few weeks. I would make a list of all the points you want to discuss and then ask her to add her points of discussion to that list. Don't disregard any of her points. Then you need to start discussing each point and writing down each persons opinion\view on each one. The thing with this is that while you are giving your opinions\views and writing them down under each point, she can't talk and vice\versa. Once you have both expressed yourselves then you can go back and begin to make compromises, or in the case where you aren't willing to compromise explain to her why, and brainstorm ideas to accomplish any wants\desires\goals that you both may have. Make her feel that you are a team and that you value her input and appreciate her cooperation.

 

I would have these discussions with her:

* The decision to homeschool and plans for the future regarding her education.

* The type\style of education that would be best for her; classical, eclectic, child-led, traditional, etc. You should also include in this discussion types of curricula (if you are able to get different curricula) and ideas on how to make it more enjoyable.

* Schedule - include academic and recreational activities.

* Attitudes (hers and yours) and how they affect the people around you.

* Your current lifestyle (does your full-time education make her feel she is on the back burner) and ideas on how to make your\her situation better.

 

A few other opinions:

 

I think doing school in different places is okay as a treat but you don't need to be a slave to her whims and she needs to learn that sometimes she just needs to knuckle down and accomplish her work because that is the responsible thing to do. Talk to her about pride in a job well done and the pitfalls of procrastination.

 

It sounds like she just has a really bad attitude because it isn't at all what she expected. Before you go any farther I would let her know that you are willing to try to work things out with her and include her in the planning but that she needs to step up and toss the attitude out the door. I'm not saying this is what is going on, but if my child got to do school at the coffee shop as a deterrent to whining, they would be whining all. the. time. If she can't get her bad attitude under control you can't progress with the re-planning. If you can't progress with the re-planning then maybe a few days in her room will help her see that there is a better way.

 

:grouphug: while you try to find balance.

[3littlekeets]

i would toss aside the "school books" and just spend some time having fun together ~ connecting.

 

read this ~ it does come from an unschooling perspective (and i realize by your sig that you're not) but the first few paragraphs are important for *any* new homeschooler (and old). ;)

 

 

I agree! Toss the formal work for a while -- for her acclimation and your sanity.

[NanceXToo]

You're familiar with the term "homesick"- well, I think it's normal for kids who leave public school to go through a phase of being "schoolsick." Even if they hated a lot of things about school, they're still adjusting to a change, and they might be missing friends or certain parts of school that they DID enjoy or the group setting or whatever the case may be. This could take a few months to adjust to.

 

During this time, I agree that it's a good idea to do some "deschooling." Forget about textbooks, worksheets, sitting at a desk/table and all of that stuff and HAVE FUN! Enjoy each other. Bond. Talk. Laugh. Play. Go on fun outings and field trips. Watch TV together. Play board games together. Run errands together. Explore a hobby together. Trust me, she'll learn from all of these things!

 

Ask her if there's something in particular she wants to learn about. Then help her explore it.

 

Then, when it's time to start doing more 'regular' schoolwork again, evaluate what you're doing/using. Is it something your child enjoys? Has a say in? Suits her style of learning? Maybe she needs something more literature based. Or more hands on/creative. Are you trying to make school last too many hours and pile on too many subjects, so that she gets frustrated and bored?

 

Did you join some sort of activity or group so that she has social opportunities? A homeschool group, a co-op, is she in something like 4H, things where she can regularly be around other people and kids?

 

Just out of curiosity, did she want to be homeschooled to begin with?

[Pretty in Pink]

You've gotten tons of great advice already. I don't have anything new to add. I just wanted to encourage you to stick it out. It really does take time to get a feel for HSing and what will and won't work for your child. You've got the added stressor of transitioning out of the PS system. Don't be too hard on yourself. Together you and your dd will figure this thing out. :grouphug:

[tristangrace]

I just wanted to add: It's probable that the "there's nothing to do at home" will change as she develops some special interests. Encourage special hobbies and projects--once she's hooked, she'll value free time more.

[Maddysmom26]

thanks! :grouphug:

 

 

Thank you everyone for all your advice!

 

WE Took the day off and I had to run to the bank, so we went out to lunch and then grocery shopping.

During the car ride we had a long talk.

I told her that we can do fun things like field trips etc on wed. (my day off) and so I had her make a list of places she'd like to go.

I followed that by explaining that we will have "work" that will need to be done, but its never an overload and if we just get it done it will be easier for us both.(shes very smart & knows the work)

She knows that if she gets everything done.. Friday can be a short day with spelling test and just quick review of what we need.

 

As far as HS groups.. & Not fitting in.. I Mean where we live there are not many HS'ing groups around that I know of. I just know a few that go to a near by church and we really do not fit there.

 

She has 4 cousins that are 5 min. away she spends alot of time with them ,sleepovers etc and with their friends. She also has another close friend that she sees several times a week, has play dates on weekends and sleep overs with her. SO being social isnt really a huge problem. in fact shes spending more weekends with playdates then she did in PS.

 

I know that it will take time, sometimes she makes comments that I think she jsut trying to get a reaction.. ( and today neither of us felt good)

I told her we will hs this entire year. If she completely HATES it after the year is up we will find another ps to go to. (THis was agreement before we started hs'ng as we just wanted out of the other school.) she was onboard with hS'ng from last year.

 

As far as the reading out loud thing.. (someone mentioned try doing that with her) but I said.. she doesnt like it, Not that we Have to do it. she only likes reading books she likes, when she wants. ( again very stubborn!) So I try not to force her to read anything.. just offer ideas.

 

I also explained she can research and do projects/papers on things she chooses. So she made another list for those.

 

My classes do not interfere with her, I try to save that work for when Im at my store, or at night. We try to do her work in the mornings.

 

I tried to get her to join a gymnastics class, but she seems afraid to join any groups where she doesnt know anyone. We have a drama /theatre that does workshops, about 30 min away..and I would drive her if she wanted to but again shes afraid to go by herself. ( and shes not a shy kid, thats the funny part.. always singing and dancing)

 

SOoo anyway.. day by day.. I guess. ;)

[Laurie4b]

thanks! :grouphug:

 

 

As far as the reading out loud thing.. (someone mentioned try doing that with her) but I said.. she doesnt like it, Not that we Have to do it. she only likes reading books she likes, when she wants. ( again very stubborn!) So I try not to force her to read anything.. just offer ideas.

 

. ;)

 

I'm guessing the someone was meaning that you would read aloud to her, not her read aloud to you. For many of our families, mom reading to the kids is a sweet time together and they love it.

[LibraryLover]

Yes, day by day.

 

I wonder if she would enjoy audio books. What about a pen-pal? Does she like graphic art? Would she enjoy Adobe software?

 

I also agree that as she learns to use her time, she will be happier, more fulfilled and satisfied. She is used to outside forces telling her how to use her day...and she is probably at a loss each time she feels 'bored' or out of sorts. She very much needs to rediscover herself. I'd encourage her to work on hobbies & interests etc. My kids all cook and bake. My 11 year old needs absolutely no help 99% of the time at this point. She is currently loving Clara (who is educational, to boot!):

 

I like the idea of creating a list of things to think about/do/research.

 

I don't know how you feel about documentaries, historical movies (where you can discuss what was all wrong! lol) or working on the computer, but all of those things can be extremely rewarding as well as educational. There are legitimate sites for all manner of educational pursuits; from sciences & maths to history to geography to art. Have you seen this, for instance: www.lizardpoint.com. My 11 yr old loves those maps. That's really the tip of the iceberg.

 

She is not going to lose any skill by backing off the paperwork right now, and since there are only about a million other ways to learn, she might even find out how exciting and *freeing* it is to be a homeschooler who is not trying to recreate school at home. We are free to explore. The is the greatest reason I can think of to hs in the first place.

[elfgivas]

I'm guessing the someone was meaning that you would read aloud to her, not her read aloud to you. For many of our families, mom reading to the kids is a sweet time together and they love it.

e

 

yes, that is what i meant. last year at breakfast (while the dds ate) i read the little house books (they were 9 and 11 last year). we finished those and went on to the other generations, martha, caroline, rose. this year, it is anne of green gables. the read alouds are my choice, but i take suggestions into consideration. if i think something they suggest is good, but might not set the right tone first thing in the morning, we read it at lunch or at tea.

 

we have a whole morning routine which gets us ready to start our school day, and it works for us. on the days when things go badly off the rails (fortunately at this point not so often), then i often restart the day at noon, complete with reading, 15 minutes tidying in the bedrooms and history : ).

 

hth,

ann

[Maddysmom26]

e

 

yes, that is what i meant. last year at breakfast (while the dds ate) i read the little house books (they were 9 and 11 last year). we finished those and went on to the other generations, martha, caroline, rose. this year, it is anne of green gables. the read alouds are my choice, but i take suggestions into consideration. if i think something they suggest is good, but might not set the right tone first thing in the morning, we read it at lunch or at tea.

 

we have a whole morning routine which gets us ready to start our school day, and it works for us. on the days when things go badly off the rails (fortunately at this point not so often), then i often restart the day at noon, complete with reading, 15 minutes tidying in the bedrooms and history : ).

 

hth,

ann

 

 

Yes, either way.. her reading aloud, or me reading aloud to her, she does not like it!

IS that kind of strange?

\She claims she cant really get whats happening when its read aloud.

 

I should add that when she was little she loved it, or if its a picture book she does, but chapter books are a no go.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Yes, either way.. her reading aloud, or me reading aloud to her, she does not like it!

IS that kind of strange?

\She claims she cant really get whats happening when its read aloud.

 

 

not strange to me ~ considering that i HATE having someone read aloud to me.

 

does she read *quickly* when she reads to herself? part of my problem is that i'm a very fast reader and i just want to yank the book/article/etc from the person's hand and read it myself. (and actually have LOL)

 

(the exceptions being my kids, of course. there's very little that they read aloud to me now, but i've bitten my tongue & sat on my hands before so that they could!)

[Pippen]

Yes, either way.. her reading aloud, or me reading aloud to her, she does not like it!

IS that kind of strange?

\She claims she cant really get whats happening when its read aloud.

 

I should add that when she was little she loved it, or if its a picture book she does, but chapter books are a no go.

 

I don't see it as strange--I see it as a positive that she's recognized a strength! Part of the educational journey is to recognize one's strengths and weaknesses.

 

I have a terrible time with audiobooks if I haven't read the book previously for the same reason.

[Maddysmom26]

She does read extremely fast when she reads to herself.

In fact last year in PS she was in a special reading group because she read to fast.. they wanted to be sure she was retaining what she was readng, I never saw a problem with that though. Shes always been like a sponge when in comes to retaining information.

 

But she just doesnt like aloud reading.. ;) So I dont force it. I do have her alternate reading paragraphs, when we do history or science which she doesnt mind. THen we can discuss.

[Gwenhwyfar]

She does read extremely fast when she reads to herself.

In fact last year in PS she was in a special reading group because she read to fast.. they wanted to be sure she was retaining what she was reading, I never saw a problem with that though. Shes always been like a sponge when in comes to retaining information.

 

But she just doesnt like aloud reading.. ;) So I dont force it. I do have her alternate reading paragraphs, when we do history or science which she doesnt mind. THen we can discuss.

 

bolded ~ yep. always had that sort of questioning from teachers & parents myself. i'd finish something and i'd get "there's no way that you read that" or "you must be skipping pages" or "you just skimmed it". annoyed the heck out of me. I READ THE DANG BOOK YO. :laugh:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Homeschooling's strength is that it can be tailored for you and your particular children. A good technique or a good curriculum is useless if it doesn't work with your child. And I've found that there are some things that might not be their first choice but can still be worked with but there are some things that don't work for them at all.

 

So look at what the goal was for that technique or curriculum. The goal for reading aloud to your child is comprehension and the ensuing discussion that might lead to a narration or a written response. If reading aloud isn't the best way for her to have comprehension, then chuck it. I had to chuck the actual discussion with my son because he would say, "Mom, you just read it. Don't you know what it said?":lol: So we skipped that and I had him orally or in writing give me a response to the book we read aloud or he had read to himself. (I just looked up your dd's age - by age 10, my ds read most of his stuff to himself because it was easier for him that way.)

 

The one thing I do tell my kids though is that we will not chuck the actual goal. So tough if they don't want to learn good grammar! I'm willing to look at different ways to learn the grammar but they are going to learn it.

[Starr]

Shes an only child first of all and Im a single parent , it has always been this way. she attended PS until last year 4th grade.

 

Im trying to make it as fun as possible with the time I have. My classes are online so Im flexible with my time. Ive tried the field trip and out to lunch stuff which she loved.

 

Its just that Im in NY and I have to report what we do. Ive already given a list of the texts we are using. SO at the 1st quarter we will be expected to send a report of how far we have made it through..

 

So i cant grasp the reality of just tossing the books all together.. :001_huh: I just feel like if its not on paper, shes not learning everything shee needs. I know you learn alot from just lving but for school purposes.. (if she had to go back to ps at some point) I feel like she would be way behind if toss the books and just live with her.

 

( and really im not asking her to do a TON of work.. we cover the basics and do few practice problems)

 

she hates to read outloud with me, she's very stubborn beyond belief!

I have tried the rewards and token system which worked okay at first..

but now its just " i hate always being home" & this isnt fun at all.

Ive tried to explain if we get the work done then you have the rest of the day free.. but then its like " to do what? be home all day"

 

we dont live where its easy to just go places.. its a distance.. 30 min to any major shopping/movie/book store etc.

I dont know of any homeschooling groups that we would fit in.

Im trying to find someoneto give guitar and or piano lessons, but again that will be a hike to(which i dont mind) its just finding someone.

 

Sometimes I wish I could just start over in a new place.! i really hate where we live anyway.

 

You have to relax with the quarterly reports. When a ps teacher covers a chapter it doesn't mean every word was read, discussed and written about. They need the records but you can be more flexible. Or you can change your books. I think it takes a while at 10 to get things worked out. If you want to homeschool her then I would not talk about her going back to ps. Once she knows this is it she'll settle down to a new way of life. And yes you are going to have to drive and take her to an activity or two. It's the bonus of living away from town. :D Enjoy your dd and don't get too frustrated. It will get better.

[Maddysmom26]

So today is wed and its almost worse then it was monday. After we took Mon off had our discussion etc.. then yesterday we started the day .. she did LA in bed.. fine.. Then we did art and she made a fabulous clay pot..

 

then my mom fell I ended up spending the day in the ER with her so we didnt get any work done.

 

Now Im trying to get her to do a lesson in Math (division) and she will not even try. and comes up with excuses headache etc..

and " its just too hard so im not doing it!"

 

Im not asking her to do a 100 questions. I was doing them with her step by step wont even look or try to pay attention.

 

Its not a lot of work, im just touching on the basics and then its fun stuff.. she just doesnt want to do anything !!!

i cant just let her do nothing.. because she would be in front of the tv all day.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It's not all bad. You got LA done and art. Probably if there hadn't been a huge and rather scary interruption, the rest of your day would have gone ok. Even veteran homeschoolers have a hard time dealing with interruptions to the schedule like that. In fact with my ps classes (that I used to teach) I would have had a hard time with a big interruption too.

 

T.V. gets unplugged for the day no matter what - you can decide if you want to plug it in again for sick days but other than that even if plans interrupt, no t.v.

 

Personally, I would make sitting down to do school a "line in the sand" issue. I would tell her that nothing else is going to happen until the minimum of school is done. I would be calm but firm. How to enforce is hard to recommend because different kids react differently. In my house, I would wait them out calmly and firmly. If they had a fit, I would help them to calm down but then I would calmly go back to what I said would happen. I would have our normal consequences for disobedience if they did something like rip the paper or get up without my permission. I hate "line in the sand" issues with a passion but I know that if I'm not firm on a few of these basic issues then I will be a slave to my children's whims and that isn't good for them or for our family.

[myfunnybunch]

i cant just let her do nothing.. because she would be in front of the tv all day.

 

"Darling daughter, of course I can't force you to do your schoolwork, but the television doesn't go on until your schoolwork is done. Let's take a break and play a card game (have a cup of tea, read together, draw), then knock the rest of this work out so we can go on with our day."

 

I have one child who likes, occasionally, to see if he can wear me down.

 

But as soon as I say, "Of course you don't have to. I can't make you. But you know that your fun time doesn't begin until chores and school are done," he usually chooses to do his work.

 

:grouphug:

 

Hang in. It's all so new.

 

Cat

[kwickimom]

So today is wed and its almost worse then it was monday. After we took Mon off had our discussion etc.. then yesterday we started the day .. she did LA in bed.. fine.. Then we did art and she made a fabulous clay pot..

 

then my mom fell I ended up spending the day in the ER with her so we didnt get any work done.

 

Now Im trying to get her to do a lesson in Math (division) and she will not even try. and comes up with excuses headache etc..

and " its just too hard so im not doing it!"

 

Im not asking her to do a 100 questions. I was doing them with her step by step wont even look or try to pay attention.

 

Its not a lot of work, im just touching on the basics and then its fun stuff.. she just doesnt want to do anything !!!

i cant just let her do nothing.. because she would be in front of the tv all day.

 

This is a total discipline issue. If my DD doesnt want to do school and I tell her she has to...she does it. period. Because she knows she must do what I tell her or suffer consequences. And in the end she knows no matter what, she will end up doing what I say regardless of her actions in between. So she knows she can either do it and get it over with and have a great rest of the day, OR she can refuse to do it, suffer consequences, eventually HAVE to do it anyways and have a horrible day.

 

I think you need to write down specific goals and consequences and follow through. Make it hard. I at one point removed every single thing my daughter owns and put it in the basement. All she had was a bed and a blanket in her room. She had to earn back every single thing, one at a time. Once she did something with a good attitude she earned back one item of my choice. If she disobeyed..I took EVERYTHING back and we started over. Worked like a charm and I havent had a problem in 2 years (of course normal stuff here and there she is not perfect and I dont expect perfect)

 

IMO if you just send her off to ps she will not have learned a lesson. She will think she can get what she wants. If it were me I would tell my DD we are completing a year of school NO MATTER WHAT. If it takes all year PLUS an entire summer so be it. If it takes weekends and evenings SO BE IT. In the meantime no privileges unless a day of work is completed to my satisfaction. PS would absolutely not be an option until she completed an entire year of my homeschool.

[JessReplanted]

...and i can't fathom forcing someone to stuff down their emotions and wear a fake cheery attitude all the time. child or adult. :confused:

 

(am i misunderstanding? open to clarification if i am.)

 

^ I think this is a misunderstanding. I don't expect my children to act that they are excited to pick up their toys, but I do expect them to obey without pouting or complaining.

[Maddysmom26]

This is a total discipline issue. If my DD doesnt want to do school and I tell her she has to...she does it. period. Because she knows she must do what I tell her or suffer consequences. And in the end she knows no matter what, she will end up doing what I say regardless of her actions in between. So she knows she can either do it and get it over with and have a great rest of the day, OR she can refuse to do it, suffer consequences, eventually HAVE to do it anyways and have a horrible day.

 

I think you need to write down specific goals and consequences and follow through. Make it hard. I at one point removed every single thing my daughter owns and put it in the basement. All she had was a bed and a blanket in her room. She had to earn back every single thing, one at a time. Once she did something with a good attitude she earned back one item of my choice. If she disobeyed..I took EVERYTHING back and we started over. Worked like a charm and I havent had a problem in 2 years (of course normal stuff here and there she is not perfect and I dont expect perfect)

 

IMO if you just send her off to ps she will not have learned a lesson. She will think she can get what she wants. If it were me I would tell my DD we are completing a year of school NO MATTER WHAT. If it takes all year PLUS an entire summer so be it. If it takes weekends and evenings SO BE IT. In the meantime no privileges unless a day of work is completed to my satisfaction. PS would absolutely not be an option until she completed an entire year of my homeschool.

 

Yes, I have made it clear that we WILL Finish this year of HS'ng. I have made it clear that we WILL get the folder work done if we have to work through the weekend.

I have taken tv and everything away for today ( and maybe longer!)

So many distractions dont help , i know this.. however she does have a major problem with listening to me, period. I know its my own fault for being to easy in the past.. but as single parent sometimes its just easier that way.. However thats no excuse and I know I need to set that straight now! or it will only get worse.

Sooo all the favorite things are disappearing fast & furiously ! ;)

just trying to keep my cool during this process. :glare:

[Maddysmom26]

[quote=myfunnybunch;2070533

:grouphug:

 

Hang in. It's all so new.

 

Cat

 

 

Thank you! :001_smile: