Is it a compliment when someone says, "You look good after __ kids?"

[Veritaserum]

Or should it just be "you look good"?

[Melora in NC]

I would never give a compliment like that -- it sounds too personal, somehow -- but I'm sure it is kindly meant.

[Parrothead]

I"m going with "maybe" since it would depend on context.

 

I'd prefer someone simply tell me I look nice.

[Tree House Academy]

Yeah, if someone has to say, "you look good...for having had two kids," then what they mean is not necessarily "you look good" but more, "wow...I thought people who had kids would be fatter (uglier, more homely looking, etc)." LOL

[Rich with Kids]

I love it when people find out I have 5 kids and then compliment me. I only gave birth to 3 of them, so I say "thank you" and then go eat a twinkie and hug my step-daughters. :D

[Aubrey]

I'm not delusional. If I can manage to look "good for having 4 dc," that's good enough for me. :lol:

 

People don't say that to me, though. :glare: ;)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes, it is a compliment. My SIL has a nice flat tummy - she looks darn good for having had 2 kids. My tummy on the other hand looks like it is working on a 3rd kid even though I am not pregnant. It is an acknowledgment that giving birth can change a woman's body shape and metabolism.

[mommaduck]

I'm sure there are times where it's not said as a compliment. However, I've taken it as a compliment when someone finds out how many children I've had that I look good for having THAT many.

[Jenn in Mo]

I chose no. I'm sure it's MEANT as a compliment, but I'd rather not look good 'in spite of' having had 4 kids. I wanna look good and have 4 kids. Of course, I also want to eat pie. Often. So this isn't going to be an issue I'll have to deal with very often. :D

 

I wouldn't take it as an insult (I'd just gladly take it!) but I'd probably be assuming that I wouldn't have received the compliment if it hadn't been for the 4 kids making my appearance acceptable.

[mindygz]

I take it as a compliment. :D

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I would take it as a compliment if it were coming from another mom. And if I ever said anything like that, it wouldn't be referring to the shape of the person's body, it would probably be in relation to nice hair, nice clothes, looking fit and rested- which would be an amazing feat after having ANY number of kids! :lol:

[Tenaj]

I try to take it as a compliment but it doesn't always come across that way.

 

My aunt, on the other hand, who is single and has zero kids, joined a water aerobics class a few years ago. On the first day, she introduced herself and told a bit about herself, only she lied through her teeth and told the class that she had eight kids - LOL! She totally enjoyed all the compliments she got on how great she looked after all those kids! She did 'fess up later :)

[Jen+4dc]

I"m going with "maybe" since it would depend on context.

 

I'd prefer someone simply tell me I look nice.

:iagree:

 

I'm not delusional. If I can manage to look "good for having 4 dc," that's good enough for me. :lol:

 

:iagree:

 

I would take it as a compliment if it were coming from another mom. And if I ever said anything like that, it wouldn't be referring to the shape of the person's body, it would probably be in relation to nice hair, nice clothes, looking fit and rested- which would be an amazing feat after having ANY number of kids! :lol:

:D:D

[Pretty in Pink]

I know it is meant as a compliment, but it makes me cringe every. single. time. someone says that to me.

[Veritaserum]

I take it as a compliment. :D

 

Well, I think you look good even if you didn't have three kids. :)

 

The reason I started the poll was because I hear this pretty often. I have five kids and am pretty slim (somewhere between a size 6 and 8 having lost 10 lbs. recently). I'm fairly young and look younger. My apparent age gets a whole 'nother set of comments. :glare:

 

I guess I want to be complimented (or not) without the qualification of "for having 5 kids". :tongue_smilie: It feels kind of...backhanded in a way and I wondered if anyone else felt that way. Maybe it is just surprise....

[NancyNellen]

If anyone is willing to tell me I look good, and makes the effort to do so, I will take it as a compliment! :-)

[mycalling]

I picked Maybe. I've been getting this a lot lately and I'm still on the fence about it. "You look good for being pregnant with your 7th." Does that mean I wouldn't look good if it was only my 2nd? Or do they have really low expectations of people who have this many? Or maybe I do actually look alright...for being pregnant. :confused:

[JennyD]

At this point I take what I can get in the compliments department. :001_smile:

[cbollin]

If anyone is willing to tell me I look good, and makes the effort to do so, I will take it as a compliment! :-)

 

At this point I take what I can get in the compliments department. :001_smile:

 

:iagree:

 

-crystal

[Gooblink]

Demi Moore looks good.

 

Most women I know IRL look good forhavingxkids. :D

 

I don't think it's necessary to tack that condition to the compliment - "you look good" should suffice.

[AuntieM]

I take it as a compliment because, so far, I've only hEard it from those who've been "in the trenches" themselves. You know, other women who understand what childbearing can do to a woman's body (especially multiples, repeated C-sections). If anyone else said it... I'm not sure I'd know how to take it.

[jenL]

I haven't read all the responses, but I voted "maybe" because it really depends upon whom it's coming from. Some people are kind and really mean it, while others are just being snarky & jealous.

[mommy123]

They were probably trying to give a compliment. The other day someone told me I was in good shape for having 4 kids... I was thinking... we'll of course, I have to chase around 4 kids!

[stripe]

I don't really like anyone making those comments. Even my husband.

[MamaT]

I take it as a compliment. :D

 

Me too. I take 'em however they come!

[SamuraiMom]

I am sure it is most often meant as a compliment, but it is personally a pet peeve of mine. I work very hard to stay in shape and want to look good(as well as feel great, be healthy, etc..) I want to look good period, not look good for having five kids. When I was much younger I made that compliment to another woman(you look great for having four kids!) and she said to me, "thanks, but I want to look good period, not good for having four kids." I didn't understand it then, and was a bit miffed at why she didn't graciously accept what I thought was a sincere compliment. Now at 41, with five kids and working out 2 hours a day, six days a week being very mindful of my food choices, I "get it."

[Amy loves Bud]

Of course, I also want to eat pie. Often.

 

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Carrie12345]

I am sure it is most often meant as a compliment, but it is personally a pet peeve of mine. I work very hard to stay in shape and want to look good(as well as feel great, be healthy, etc..) I want to look good period, not look good for having five kids. When I was much younger I made that compliment to another woman(you look great for having four kids!) and she said to me, "thanks, but I want to look good period, not good for having four kids." I didn't understand it then, and was a bit miffed at why she didn't graciously accept what I thought was a sincere compliment. Now at 41, with five kids and working out 2 hours a day, six days a week being very mindful of my food choices, I "get it."

:iagree:

I never doubt the intent, but that doesn't make it a valid compliment.

 

"You look great!" is an excellent compliment.

"You look great for having X kids!" means nothing more than "You don't look like a washed up old woman who lived in a shoe!" Which is a good thing, of course. But still! :glare:

[Whereneverever]

I think it's a compliment, but a pretty tactless one.

 

Doesn't mean it's not nice to hear sometimes. ;)

[Word Nerd]

It does seem like ****ing with faint praise, but it's probably just another example of people talking without really thinking about what their words mean.

[FlockOfSillies]

I put maybe -- if they get the number of kids right, then it's a compliment! :lol:

[wendybird]

I put no. Maybe I should have put maybe because I think they probably intend it as a compliment, but adding a qualifier is detracting from it. I cringe when people say this to me. Looking good after having 7 kids does not equal looking good. It means they expected me to be fatter or frumpier than I am. Regardless...I smile and say thank you. It does irk me though.

[Dawn in OH]

I take it as a compliment because, so far, I've only hEard it from those who've been "in the trenches" themselves. You know, other women who understand what childbearing can do to a woman's body (especially multiples, repeated C-sections). If anyone else said it... I'm not sure I'd know how to take it.

 

:iagree: I was really undecided on my answer to this until I read the above quote.

 

I think if I heard it from someone that never had children, it would be bordering on tactless and rude.

[tissakay]

I have six kids, so most often I just take it as a compliment and go on.

[Crimson Wife]

I'm sure there are times where it's not said as a compliment. However, I've taken it as a compliment when someone finds out how many children I've had that I look good for having THAT many.

 

:iagree:It all depends on context.

[justamouse]

I get it ALL the time. They see the ducks after me, they think my daughter is my sister (my oldest son won't walk around with me AT ALL because people think he's my husband or boyfriend).

 

"Wow, you look so good after having all those kids!"

 

I say thank you.

 

I think, "Yup, I had em all in one litter, just pop, pop, pop, out they came like firing jelly beans."

[LG Gone Wild]

It's a compliment even if it isn't the one you are hoping for. Women don't look good after having kids (or look as good if they hadn't). It's usually kindly meant and besides, to be honest, no matter how much you take of yourself, it's the best you are going to get.