S/O wedding band threads

[Mejane]

Why is a wedding ring important to you?

 

I haven't worn my ring for most of my married life. I know I'm married. I don't give off an "available" vibe, so no one "hits on" me. Is it necessary/important to wear a wedding ring? What say you?

 

 

ETA: I don't wear mine because my fingers fattened up after babies and the ring no longer fits.

Edited July 2, 2010 by Mejane

[Mrs Mungo]

When I look at mine, it brings me back to the day we got married, and how I felt as we said the vows. To me it isn't about saying I am taken, it is more to remind myself of the commitment we made and how happy being married to dh makes me.

 

It is partly that for me. It is also how he sacrificed to buy my rings back when we were young and poor. I think he would be a little hurt if I didn't wear them.

[Dana]

For me it's also about the commitment. Both dh and I wear bands. During my pregnancy I swelled up so much that I couldn't wear my band. It was strange not to have it on.

[Nestof3]

It makes me happy to think about how much he put into me having a ring I liked. He wanted a high quality ring, and he wanted me to pick it out. I chose a design that the jeweler made. He had gotten to a point in life where he could splurge a little on this, and he wanted to give me exactly my heart's desire. I still love the way it shines on a cloudy day. :001_smile:

 

Is all of that necessary? No, but it reminds me of how much he wanted to put into our marriage from the start.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Neither of us wear our wedding rings.

[smrtmama]

To me, it's a visible symbol of our commitment. I wear mine every day and only take it off if my hands are swelling (which isn't unusual in Georgia heat/humidity).

 

Daddyman takes his off for showers, manual labor, etc. and at one point was hesitant wearing it while on duty, because he really doesn't like criminals knowing anything about him, but one of his FTOs once said to him, "I wear my ring every day, because if today is the day I'm killed in the line of duty, I want to die wearing it." Now he wears it to work every day.

 

Honestly, the ring is a much more important symbol to me than the actual marriage license.

[LauraGB]

Dh's is more important to me than mine.

I thought for a while the dog had eaten mine last year. I kinda looked for it...but only sorta. Then I found it, but by that time, I was used to not wearing it, so I parked it in the jewelry box and there it's been ever since. I don't love the diamonds/gold/silver thing. A simple band would be okay by me. Or something special and unique, but not flashy.

 

But dh's is in there too. He can't really wear his at the machine shop - it's a Lose A Finger sort of hazard, so rather than lose the second one (he completely lost the first), his is next to mine.

 

But it really, really bothers me that he doesn't wear his. I mean, women look at a man's finger first thing to see if they are married. I don't doubt dh at all - really :lol:, but it's other people that bother me. Talk about a double standard! :001_huh:

[Colleen]

Why is a wedding ring important to you?

 

I haven't worn my ring for most of my married life. I know I'm married. I don't give off an "available" vibe, so no one "hits on" me. Is it necessary/important to wear a wedding ring? What say you?

 

 

ETA: I don't wear mine because my fingers fattened up after babies and the ring no longer fits.

My wedding ring was important to me because it looked great. It meant nothing to me in terms of love and commitment. If anything, the ring symbolized what our marriage shoudn't be about. But as I said in the other thread, it was very cool. So in that sense, the material part of me wishes I still had it.;)

[Nestof3]

Colleen, I always wish I knew what to say to you. :crying:

 

What did you do with the rings?

 

My wedding ring was important to me because it looked great. It meant nothing to me in terms of love and commitment. If anything, the ring symbolized what our marriage shoudn't be about. But as I said in the other thread, it was very cool. So in that sense, the material part of me wishes I still had it.;)

[amy g.]

I'm not sure I've taken mine off since I was married.

 

I like it. It makes me happy.

[Colleen]

Colleen, I always wish I knew what to say to you. :crying:

 

What did you do with the rings?

Doesn't matter.:) Honestly, while those particular rings looked great, they didn't symbolize anything great, at the time, so why sport them? That's the irony about wedding rings. People claim it's all about the meaning, yada yada yada, but a whole heckuvva lotta women wouldn't wear, say, a plastic Looney Tunes band, kwim?:tongue_smilie:

[OrganicAnn]

For me it is a sign of eternal love (circle). When I was pregnant I wore them on a very strong necklace in case my fingers plumped up. I think if I couldn't wear them now, I would wear them on a necklace, just to keep wearing them.

 

My DH has lost his twice (skinny finger). One at work and once in the garden. He found the one in the garden 6 months later.

[Crissy]

My ring is in three parts (engagement, wedding, 10th anniversary). I reminds me of our desire to spend the rest of our lives together, the commitment we made to each other before our friends, our family and God, and of our responsibility to each other whether we are experiencing our best days or our worst times.

[keptwoman]

My wedding ring in particular is very precious to me as it was my mothers wedding ring. Her and Dad had a strong and successful marriage and wearing her ring feels to me like it brings with it a greater chance of a good marriage too. I realise it's not particularly logical, but logic is overrated :rofl: Of course, I'd much rather Mum was alive and still wearing this ring at my wedding, but she wasn't, so it's a way to have Mum and Dad with me always.

Alongside that, it is a reminder of the commitment that DH and I have to each other, like someone else said, it's so much more important than the bit of paper that I signed. It's like a little piece of joy and love on my finger.

 

My other rings, I love and would be devastated if I lost them, but loosing my wedding ring would rip my heart out.

[lllll]

..

[rwjx2khsmj]

I love my rings. They make me smile and I know that the commitment they symbolize is as true today as it was 21 years ago. Maybe more true because we know a lot more than we did then.

 

My dh is on ring #6. He can't hang onto one to save his life. He's lost 4 and broken one. I think he kept one for 2 years. That was the record. He's gone long periods of time without wearing one at all. He bought the most recent ring a month ago, before he left for Australia. I mentioned that I'd really like it if he'd wear one since he was going to be gone for so long. I suggested that he just have one tattooed on. He thought that was a little excessive. We'll see how long the most recent one lasts.

[3littlekeets]

To be brutally honest, my rings don't symbolize my commitment or his.

 

Waking up each and every day, being faithful, making it through the rough times, and loving each other even when it is easier to walk away -- that's what marriage is about for me.

 

For me, my rings are about beauty and bling :D. I love pretty things! Though, if I had it do over -- if Blood Diamonds had been earlier, or if I had been better educated, I would have chosen different stones.

 

I would NEVER buy another diamond for any reason, and I don't believe conflict free diamonds actually exist. :tongue_smilie: The need for any diamond creates human mistreatment.

[KidsHappen]

Neither my hubby nor I wear rings. He bought me a very inexpensive engagement ring that has a very long complicated history to it. It is beaten and bent and can not be worn but it has a lot of sentimental value to me. I have been thinking of adding it as a charm to my bracelet (that is for all of my children's and granchildren's birthstones) or perhaps getting a gold chain so that I can wear it around my neck. That's what I used to do but I no longer have the chain so the ring is currently in safe keeping in my jewelry box. We never bought wedding bands because neither of us are comfortable wearing rings, they hold no symbolic meaning for us, we don't need them to remind us of our commitment nor do we have any need to ward off the opposite sex and I am so not a bling kind of person.

[Sophia]

Why is a wedding ring important to you?

 

 

 

I don't know, but it is.

It's the only piece of jewelry I wear.

[Crissy]

That's the irony about wedding rings. People claim it's all about the meaning, yada yada yada, but a whole heckuvva lotta women wouldn't wear, say, a plastic Looney Tunes band, kwim?:tongue_smilie:

 

That's a very good point, Colleen.

 

As much as we would like to say the elegant, expensive ring represents the quality of the union, a glimpse at society tells us the truth is very different.

 

The ring. The rock. The importance of the size of the diamond (which often results in a significant amount of debt for the groom). Too often it is about appearance and we later subscribe 'meaning' to the thing.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I don't wear rings at work because I think they harbor microorganisms (I'm an RN). I really, really try to remember to put them on when I go out somewhere. Last time I went on vacation (sans hubby) I wore my wedding ring, engagement ring, mother's ring (that is actually made from his first wife's wedding ring - she's dead), anniversary ring, & a claddagh ring dh gave me for some reason I've since forgotten. I've never been so uncomfortable in my entire life with all those rings on and was paranoid about leaving them somewhere.

 

I like to have them, and kinda wish I were the kind of gal who liked jewelry. But I'm the kinda gal who asked for a rototiller for one birthday, and forgets the exact date of her anniversary.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

It mattered to dh more than to me to wear wedding bands. So, we each picked out plain bands, not even the same color :tongue_smilie:, and I do wear it. We didn't even buy them. Dh's best friend buys jewelry at estate sales, and he gave them to us. He did clean them up and engraved our wedding date in them, so I guess they are kind of special. Dh gave me a beautiful old ring that belonged to his great grandmother when he proposed, but I hardly ever wear it because it is so delicate and old. I'm afraid of ruining it. I am so not a girly girl.

[Crissy]

Not always. Some could care less what the band looks like or how much it cost. The vows behind it mattered to me. Fwiw, we got ours for 75% off when Montgomery Wards went out of business, lol. It was all about the savings.

 

Yes, of course. My rings were not so much about savings, but what my husband chose to buy for me. They are simple and meaningful.

I was referring to society at large, and a prevailing attitude about the wedding set.

One need look no further than the TODAY Show and their segment called "TODAY Throws a Wedding" to see that a great number of people care more about the appearance of their rings, dress, etc. than the meaning of the relationship.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Why is a wedding ring important to you?

 

I haven't worn my ring for most of my married life. I know I'm married. I don't give off an "available" vibe, so no one "hits on" me. Is it necessary/important to wear a wedding ring? What say you?

 

 

ETA: I don't wear mine because my fingers fattened up after babies and the ring no longer fits.

 

 

We didn't have a ring ceremony in our wedding. I belonged to a denomination that didn't use them at the time. I didn't have one at all for about a year.

 

Then, I started college. The men at school were looking at my hand all the time. It happened enough to be quite obvious they were trying to discern whether or not I was married. I decided I wanted a ring. We went to a pawn shop, and got the cheapest gold bands we could get (for just the price of the gold).

 

Jewelry just has never been important to me. I did upgrade my thin gold band for a thicker one because I lost mine (later found it in a box of fabrics -- it had slid off my finger when I was digging through the fabric). But, I got it for less than half price when the store was going out of business (paid fifty bucks!). :o)

 

So, no, I don't plan on ever upgrading my ring. Not because of any sentimental value, but more because of a LACK of sentimental value. I just don't value jewelry. I'd rather spend that money on something else.

[Shawna in Texas]

Our rings mean a lot to me now. Our original rings were sort of an afterthought for the wedding. We picked them up cheaply and I got pregnant right away and stopped wearing mine. He still wore his until a few years ago when for some reason he started reacting to the cheap gold.

 

Last year, and I believe that I posted about French translations here on the board, I had a $30 stainless steel comfort fit ring engraved for him, for our 12th anniversary and he loves it. He surprised me a few months later with a matching one, which wasn't a huge surprise, but it took him that long to decide on an engraving.

 

So, basically, our set of $30 rings mean a lot to us now.

[Scarlett]

Doesn't matter.:) Honestly, while those particular rings looked great, they didn't symbolize anything great, at the time, so why sport them? That's the irony about wedding rings. People claim it's all about the meaning, yada yada yada, but a whole heckuvva lotta women wouldn't wear, say, a plastic Looney Tunes band, kwim?:tongue_smilie:

 

Colleen! So good to see you!

 

As far as rings go....6 months before I discovered my husband was cheating on me he bought me a 1 caret solitare for our 25th anniversary......It makes me sick to look at it. It costs us $4000.

[naturegirl7]

I dont wear mine - I had to take it off while preggo and still can't quite squeeze it back on. It is his grandmothers ring and I am terrified of getting it sized and having something happen to it. It is so simple and beautiful (even if it is gold) and means so much to me, but more becuase Dh had a really special relationship with his grandma and I am so honored to have it than because it is a 'wedding ring." Also I work FT as a nurse and the thought of the icky icky germs that will imbed themselves into it - UGH!

 

I don't put much stock into wedding rings. They are just rings. Maybe I am jaded cuz so many girls I know have judged their man, not by his love and his committment, but by the size and quality of the stone. As if the stone and ring are somehow a direct reflection of how much he loves them.

 

Seriously, I would rather start a life together spending that $$$$ on something worth while - like saving to make a down payment on a house (now that says stable future and committment to me!). But I also have some major moral issues with diamonds to begin with....Dh knew better than to give me a diamond anything - which showed me how much he really did "get" me and love me.

 

The promises we made to each other on our wedding day (and before that day and since that day) are promises of the heart and soul - physical objects like rings wont change that or influence my decisions. Rings won't stop people from hitting on DH or me - it is up to us to respond appropriately and I have no doubts when it comes to my DH.

 

So no biggie for me if we don't wear them.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Why is a wedding ring important to you?

 

I haven't worn my ring for most of my married life. I know I'm married. I don't give off an "available" vibe, so no one "hits on" me. Is it necessary/important to wear a wedding ring? What say you?

 

 

ETA: I don't wear mine because my fingers fattened up after babies and the ring no longer fits.

 

Before dh and I started dating I had told him that I would never marry someone who brought me a big diamond engagement ring. I wanted an opal and a big diamond would be a signal that the man didn't really understand me or know me well enough.

 

That actually delayed our engagement a bit, because it's pretty hard to find an opal ring that looks at all like an engagement ring. He ended up working with a jeweler and helping to design it.

 

So my rings are a symbol of just how much I'm cherished and how seriously he took my opinions. All the guys he knew were trying to convince him that I really wanted a big diamond but just wasn't saying so. But he went with me, not them. That is sort of the hallmark of our marriage.

 

I think my college class ring may have actually cost more. But that is in a box somewhere and hasn't fit in years. The wedding ring still fits because it has seldom come off since I got out of the military.

[Mom in High Heels]

Mine were upgraded a few years ago and I love them. I wore my original rings for 10 years (the gold band for 13 before he upgraded that too) and still have them. Sometimes I pull them out and look at them and remember our wedding day and how it felt to have him slip the ring on my finger and how wonderful our wedding day was. My new set (which was expensive but paid for in cash) is gorgeous and reminds me that he loves me enough to pick out something that he knew I would love. Just looking at them makes me happy. Knowing that he saved for them gives me big warm fuzzies inside. This is the replacement "engagement" ring:

 

 

He knew that I liked marquis cuts (my original ring was a 1/3 c marquis solitaire) and looked for months to find the perfect ring. How could I not want to wear it? How could I not smile when I look at it, knowing how much care went into its selection?

[iquilt]

After 12 years my dh upgraded my engagement ring to one much more practical yet exactly what I have wanted for all of these years. My first ring (in need of repairs) is currently in my jewelry box while I decide what I want done to either fix it or repurpose it. My wedding band is original but dh is on his third. We do wear them all the time (I do remove my diamond ring for the beach and while cooking) and I do feel they are a part of me.

[....]

I also only wore my wedding ring on special occasions or when we got dressed up to go somewhere. It was very special, though. Last year, we were robbed and they took both of our wedding rings. I cried for days. Even though I didn't wear it very much, it was still special and worth a lot more to us than those guys could get for them at some sleezy pawn shop. :crying:

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Colleen! So good to see you!

 

As far as rings go....6 months before I discovered my husband was cheating on me he bought me a 1 caret solitare for our 25th anniversary......It makes me sick to look at it. It costs us $4000.

 

My father-in-law went did the same exact thing!

 

If my dh ever suggests shopping for a big diamond ring, I think I will throw up!

[nukeswife]

My ring set is 13 years old (we just celebrated our 13th anniversary on June 13th) Other than when my hands suddenly swelled last summer and had to be cut off and resized I've never taken them off for more than a few minutes (to knead bread)

 

To me, my rings are a piece of dh I have when he's on deployment. It helps me to remember than even if we're a half a world apart that he's still thinking of me and I'm thinking of him and how much we love each other. I've never wanted to get something else or upgrade because he picked out just what I wanted the first time. A 1/3 C brilliant cut solitare with a simple gold band.

 

My dh has worn his every day and I'll admit seeing it on him gives me butterflies.

[WishboneDawn]

I never had an engagement ring and my husband and I both never bother wearing our wedding bands. At this point I'm not sure wear mine is.

 

I'm not sure why but they just don't seem very important to us. The marriage, yes. The kids, yes. The cheap bands, nah.

[angela in ohio]

Ours are inexpensive, because we were poor and young when we married. It makes me like them all the more. :001_smile: We've had chances since to "upgrade," but I always think of the couples who have been married for fifty plus years that I know (or the widows who still wear the rings of a fifty plus year marriage,) and they are often simple gold bands. It makes me want a simpler ring more than anything fancy. Dh's actions are the symbol of how MUCH he loves me, but the ring is a symbol of how long he will love me. To me, it is a symbol of a love that continues unending, of the cycle of continually recommitting ourselves when times are hard.

[Garga]

My ring is my grandmother's ring. That's kinda cool.

 

But I didn't get to pick it out. That's not so cool. (Since I have to wear it every day for my whole life.)

 

If I could have picked out my own ring, it would not have been a traditional ring. It would have been an intricate band or some other gem (other than diamond.)

 

I think diamonds are boring. I'm a color kind of girl. You should see the paint on my walls!!! And dh and I argue every year over whether white lights or multicolored lights look better on Christmas trees.

 

I've been considering getting a ring that I really like to wear and then changing them out every now and then: wearing my grandmother's rings sometimes and then a ring of my choice other times.

[Mejane]

I like to have them, and kinda wish I were the kind of gal who liked jewelry. But I'm the kinda gal who asked for a rototiller for one birthday, and forgets the exact date of her anniversary.

 

:D This is me to a T.

[spradlin02]

Because it's important to my wife. I wear mine most of the time, but at times go for a while with it off. I take it off hiking cause of the sweat and swelling.

 

While I'd like to upgrade my wife's ring, mine doesn't matter much to me. I'd guess I'd like to get something a little more unique, and diamonds, fuggetaboutit. What a cartel that is. The diamond has benefitted from one of the greatest marketing campaigns in the history of the world.

Great article here. Of course where else but the Atlantic Monthly.

[secular_mom]

Haven't worn mine for most of our married life either. I think they can be nice sentimental keepsakes, and I do like to wear mine when DH is deployed (even if it's on a chain around my neck). \

DH can't always wear his at work either.

[Hannah C.]

My ring is important to me because it's beautiful and it is a sign of our marriage. It's something that others can see, as well. I think the fact that I'm young to be married also makes it more important. I actually have two wedding rings, my actual wedding ring and another one which is much more durable. I wear it while working. :)

 

My husband never takes his ring off, for similar reasons.

[Mama Anna]

For me, the engagement ring has more sentimental value than the wedding ring. It's pretty cheap and not a diamond (it wasn't designed to be an engagement ring), but dh did a good job when he picked it out and I so appreciate the fact that he understands my wierdness. :) My wedding band had to be custom-made to fit next to the engagement ring and fused to it right after the wedding so they would work together, so I think of the conglomeration as one ring. I take it off to knead bread and regularly forget to put it back on, but dh always appears with it and "re-rings" my hand with due formality. It fits with our wacky senses of humor.

 

He wanted to upgrade it at one point because, not being a diamond, he felt it wasn't enough of a "keep-off" sign. (That was the time when we were both students at a seminary, had been married for about 1 1/2 years, and got lots of congratulations when we moved from a studio apartment on campus to a 1 bedroom apartment. I guess everyone assumed we hadn't been married before or something . . . ?) We didn't have enough money at that point and by now I feel it's sort of pointless, aside from the continuing lack of money. This is my ring. As long as the prongs keep the stones in, nobody's negative opinion really matters. :D I'm the kind of girl who feels comfortable in a rut, and expensive jewelry (while I find it pretty in a case) just doesn't . . . sit well on me. I guess, anyway. I wonder if my opinion would be different if we actually had the money?

 

Mama Anna

[dirty ethel rackham]

For me, the simple wedding band just brings me joy. When I see it on my finger, I am happy that I belong with him. When I see his on his finger, I am joyful that he belongs with me. I have only taken my ring off when I was pregnant and too swollen to wear it. I ended up getting it sized up after my first child was born as my finger never got that small again. Dh wears his always unless there is a risk if harm to him or the ring (household projects and electrical work mainly.)

 

I am not a big jewelry person (nor am I into accessorizing), but everything I wear has sentimental value - my engagement ring (a modest simple solitaire), the cross my husband and children gave me as a gift one year. The chain is the one from the locket he gave me for Christmas right before we got engaged (I secretly call that the "fake out" gift:). I wear a cheap claddaugh ring that my mom gave me, and, of course, the ring my mom pulled off her finger and gave me 2 days before she died. I don't wear these every day, but I don't feel "dressed" without them:).

[HRAAB]

It's a public symbol of our commitment. I could probably go stand out on a street corner and announce to everyone how much I love that man and what an absolutely great husband/father he's been to me and our children, but since public proselytizing and preaching isn't too popular, I'll just be quiet and wear my ring.

 

Plus all the memories it brings back: the night we picked out our rings, how he remembered he hadn't proposed yet so he did it later in a Wendy's parking lot, the night he gave me my engagement ring, the day we exchanged our vows and rings in front of our families and friends. Geez... I get all teary eyed just thinking about it.

 

an incurable romantic....

[jld]

I guess for me the kids are more of a symbol of our unity than rings.

[Mejane]

I guess for me the kids are more of a symbol of our unity than rings.

 

That's sort of how I feel about it, too. :)

[m0mmaBuck]

My band was my mom's. Mom couldn't wear the ring because she is allergic to gold (a fact she was unaware of before their wedding day) so it sat in a box until the day DH and I were married. When I look at it, I think of their happy 50 yrs of marriage and know what our marriage should be.

[AngieW in Texas]

My dh always wears his ring. My fingers change size drastically during the course of the day. I used to wear my ring on my finger during the part of the day when my finger was the right size and then stick it on my watch band for the rest of the day. Later I switched to wearing it on a necklace. After several years, I got to where I couldn't stand to have metal touching me. I haven't worn any type of jewelry in at least 10 years.

 

I know exactly where my ring is, but I don't wear it. I'm not a jewelry person. The only other jewelry I have is the necklace that I used to hold my ring.