Why are cops so rude?

[gingersmom]

Disclaimer: I'm not cop bashing. They perform an important role in our society.

 

I was on my way home from dinner tonight with my mother and my kids in the car. I see a cop following a little too closely behind me and I just have this feeling he is running my license plate number. I'm not speeding and my car is not overdue for inspection so I can't image what he will find.

 

Minutes later the lights go off and I pull over.

 

He brusquely asks me for my license, registration and insurance. My mother is whispering to me to ask him what it is about.

 

As I hand over my license I ask him why I was pulled over.

 

He roars at me that my registration is expired. Roar is putting it politely. I expected my kids in the back seat to burst into tears any second.

 

A second later his walkie talkie must have gone off and he gives me back my license, mumbles something and before I can blink he drives away.

 

Turns out my registration is 7 days overdue. The moment I walk into the house I went online to renew it.

 

Anyone care to enlighten me why some cops feel the need to scare women and small children? Is it an ego thing?

[FaithManor]

I don't know. I was pulled over once by a police officer because I had a head light out and didn't know it. He was the nicest, most pleasant individual, and reminded me that this was just a fix-it ticket and that if I took my receipts to the magistrate, I wouldn't have a fine. He also noticed that I had a tire that was very low and he said he was concerned because it was night time and he wouldn't want a woman stranded along the highway at night. He directed me to a service station with air and followed me to the exit to make sure I got off at the right spot. Truly an outstanding public servant.

 

Contrast that with being pulled over because they couldn't tell that I was wearing my seatbelt (my gray shirt apparently cause the shoulder harness to blend in as they sped past). One of the officers drew his gun in broad daylight and walked up to my mini-van hollering that I need to put my hands on my head. I had three children in the car who all began crying hysterically because they thought he would shoot me! His partner told him to put the gun away but then was completely rude and THEY WERE THE ONES IN THE WRONG! I had my seat belt on and even if I didn't, this would be a gun pulling incident?????? I also told the sheriff about it (he was practically our neighbor) and I thought he would blow a vein! I am pretty certain he called the officer's sergeant and had a major cow!

 

Once I had my hands off my head, I grabbed a pencil and paper and wrote their badge numbers down. This is public information and they can not stop you from demanding their badge numbers. Had they continued harassing me, there would have been MEGA trouble. I lodged a formal complaint with the desk sergeant and I was issued a formal letter of apology. I have never seen the gun pulling trigger happy nut on the beat around here ever again. So, either he was transferred or fired because in our rural area, we do not have that many officers and I would have noticed if he was still servicing this area and especially since my brother knows just about all of the current ones that patrol our town.

 

Faith

[LibraryLover]

Honestly. About 4 yeas ago, I drove through a total red light (they had changed the entire deal...used to be a one traffic light area, and they added two extra crossing lights....I only saw green...I never expected so many lights. I'd been driving this road for about 21 years). As I went through, my mind registered, "OMG, there were 3 sets of lights. Did I go through a red?" Well...I was rammed twice on the left, with a car full of kids. It was horrible. Horrible. I ran a red while seeng green. Two cars hit me. It was surreal.

 

I pulled over and went weak. I apologized to all of the children and I started crying. The cop was there in a nano -second. He was so nice. I thought i was going to be arrested. He looked in and asked if we were OK. He was so nice, and I thought I was dying. He checked us all out, and then said "I have to issue you a ticket. You ran a red light". I was like, fine whatever. I am so grateful nobody was hurt!

Edited June 8, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Parrothead]

Anyone care to enlighten me why some cops feel the need to scare women and small children? Is it an ego thing?

Sadly, sometimes it is. Often times they don't make it past the probationary period. Then sometimes there is one that does, or a normally good guy that is having a bad day and needs to be brought down a notch or five.

 

If you really feel strongly about it, file a complaint. That is the only way to stop the not so good officers/deputies. Most departments now have cameras in the car. Find out if your department does, ask that the tape of the stop be reviewed.

[MamaT]

When my two oldest were small, one a baby and one a toddler, I was driving to my mom's a couple of hours away by myself. They were both SCREAMING and I was driving a little too fast. :001_smile:

 

I got pulled and by the time the police officer came to my window, I was crying too. So this terrible noise of two little screaming and me crying came out of my car as I rolled the window down. He was SO nice. He told me that he had already started writing a ticket, so he had to finish it. Instead of writing it for speeding, he wrote it for me not having my registration with me (which I did). He told just to make a copy of it and mail it in. Then he helped me calm the children and told me to take a few deep breaths before he would let me leave.

 

I guess police officers come in all kinds, just like the rest of the world. Thankfully, I got a nice one.

[dragons in the flower bed]

One of the officers drew his gun in broad daylight and walked up to my mini-van hollering that I need to put my hands on my head. I had three children in the car who all began crying hysterically because they thought he would shoot me! His partner told him to put the gun away but then was completely rude and THEY WERE THE ONES IN THE WRONG! I had my seat belt on and even if I didn't, this would be a gun pulling incident??????

 

I have family members who are police officers, and they would tell you that it's something like, if not precisely, PTSD. It gets to the point where they can't tell one incident from another in their own hearts. That sounds exactly like what was going on in your story above.

[Harriet Vane]

Ya know, there are good and bad in any profession.

 

On the one hand, I have seen a LOT of inappropriate police response in my underserved, urban neighborhood. Those horror stories you hear are definitely true, sad to say.

 

On the other hand, I think of two specific cops that are truly good as gold:

 

When my father was dying in a hospital in Switzerland and AT&T refused to access my bill to help me find the number of the only relative who I knew who spoke English, a very, very kind police officer spoke gently to me on the phone as I was crying. He did offer to use his police authority to requisition the number for me. I ended up not needing his help because someone else came through with the phone number for me. I am so grateful that he listened to my nutty story quietly, accepted it, and spoke gently to me.

 

A good friend from college is a cop. He is the epitome of Officer Friendly--everything you would ever want in a cop. He's in top physical condition, not afraid to take risks but also not aggressive, very gentle personality, very diplomatic, yet takes action forcefully. He is capable (and in fact, relishes) foot chases and action yet is also a gentle guy who prides himself on talking desperate people down from the emotional ledges they put themselves on. If ever a man was born to be a cop, this man was. I wish they could all be like him.

[2cents]

Honestly. About 4 yeas ago, I drove through a total red light (they had changed the entire deal...used to be a one traffic light area, and they added two extra crossing lights....I only saw green...I never expected so many lights. I'd been driving this road for about 21 years). As I went through, my mind registered, "OMG, there were 3 sets of lights. Did I go through a red?" Well...I was rammed twice on the left, with a car full of kids. It was horrible. Horrible. I ran a red while seeng green. Two cars hit me. It was surreal.

 

I pulled over and went weak. I apologized to all of the children and I started crying. The cop was there in a nano -second. He was so nice. I thought i was going to be arrested. He looked in and asked if we were OK. He was so nice, and I thought I was dying. He checked us all out, and then said "I have to issue you a ticket. You ran a red light". I was like, fine whatever. I am so grateful nobody was hurt! I'll pay whatever!

 

Of course, I am still paying on my insurance. ;) As I should.

 

This is me! I used to work in the courts at night and worked closely with law enforcement. It is a very tough and scary job. The 2x I've been pulled over for traffic violations I felt like I was going to die. I felt so guilty for taking up time and having done something stupid. I've been lucky that the officers must sense my pain and mortification because they were nice and very considerate. I probably would have passed out if they were mean.

[Lolly]

Disclaimer: I'm not cop bashing. They perform an important role in our society.

 

I was on my way home from dinner tonight with my mother and my kids in the car. I see a cop following a little too closely behind me and I just have this feeling he is running my license plate number. I'm not speeding and my car is not overdue for inspection so I can't image what he will find.

 

Minutes later the lights go off and I pull over.

 

He brusquely asks me for my license, registration and insurance. My mother is whispering to me to ask him what it is about.

 

As I hand over my license I ask him why I was pulled over.

 

He roars at me that my registration is expired. Roar is putting it politely. I expected my kids in the back seat to burst into tears any second.

 

A second later his walkie talkie must have gone off and he gives me back my license, mumbles something and before I can blink he drives away.

 

Turns out my registration is 7 days overdue. The moment I walk into the house I went online to renew it.

 

Anyone care to enlighten me why some cops feel the need to scare women and small children? Is it an ego thing?

 

Thanks for the reminder. I have a couple of those I need to take care of!!!

 

If you were to look it up and research it, you would find that it has something to do with the personality type that tends to be drawn to the job. That is according to some reports that I read about 8 years ago after a rather upsetting pull over I had. I think it also has to do with power corrupting people.

 

My bad pull over was compounded by the fact that I did not pull over. Instead, I did as the Highway Patrol sites for many states recommend for unlit areas when you are traveling alone; I slowed down, turned on my interior lights, and proceeded to the first safe populated area about a mile down the road. When protesting the ticket, I brought in copies of the recommendation from 4 different state HP websites. The judge informed me that he had these guys over for bbq's all the time in his backyard. No finer men in the world. I had nothing to fear from them. (Well, I don't know them!) The judge only backed down when he came to the realization (possibly from my expression of disbelief and outrage on my face) that I would probably take it to the media if he didn't drop it, which I would have done. One of those outstanding young men that he has over to his backyard bbq's was arrested within the month and subsequently convicted for raping a woman he pulled over. I really hope that judge realized that he does NOT know these men and that it is protecting not only the driver of the car but the reputation of the officers (in case of a loony calling assault when it didn't happen) for the person driving to proceed cautiously to a lit populated area.

Edited June 8, 2010 by Lolly

[patchfire]

Different departments result in very different approaches. Leadership from the top matters. My county police have always been unfailing polite with me & mine, even when I don't name-drop Smrt Mama's dh. ;) I've lived in this county for eight years and never had a negative experience with a county police officer in any way.

 

Now... two of the cities in our county? Hoo-boy. That's a whole 'nother story. I've been yelled at for.. well, tbh, I'm still not sure what I was yelled at for. That kind of thing. Unfortunately, some depts do not seem to care how the public perceives their officers. It ultimately hurts everyone when they do that.

[Love2Smile]

I am responding to this because I am married to a "cop". You have to remember that EVERYONE including law enforcement officers have bad days.

Have you ever had a rude salesperson? Or another rude person you had to deal with? Just remember just because someone is a cop, they too are human and would you be posting this if the person who was rude to you worked at Target or a grocery store? Just sayin'

[Love2Smile]

and your title "why are cops so rude" really is putting ALL cops into the same category. I find this troubling that you had one bad experience and you lump them all together :confused: I doubt he was trying to scare you or your kids or has a big ego. Probably had a bad day. you have no idea the "stuff" your law enforcement officers have to deal with.

[gingersmom]

I think what got me so upset is it is something minor (in my mind) and I have children in the car.

 

I want my kids to feel if there is an emergency you call the police and they will help you.

 

My daughter can be overly sensitive and has issues with men who yell (bad relationship with her father who yelled non-stop).

 

I honestly did not know it had expired because I assumed that car inspection/registration had the same deadline (for me the end of the month).

 

I mean I could see if I had just robbed a bank, I was driving erratically, running lights, etc.

 

I'm going to have a chat with my kids and let them know just because the cop we just encountered was having a bad day does not mean that all cops are like that.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

[gingersmom]

and your title "why are cops so rude" really is putting ALL cops into the same category. I find this troubling that you had one bad experience and you lump them all together :confused: I doubt he was trying to scare you or your kids or has a big ego. Probably had a bad day. you have no idea the "stuff" your law enforcement officers have to deal with.

 

Honestly, I am not trying to cop bash. Believe me, I have called them more times than most people and they have been there within minutes to help (my X had issues).

 

I do think he was trying to scare me though. Without a doubt. Did he have a big ego? I'm going to guess yes.

[Love2Smile]

Honestly, I am not trying to cop bash. Believe me, I have called them more times than most people and they have been there within minutes to help (my X had issues).

 

I do think he was trying to scare me though. Without a doubt. Did he have a big ego? I'm going to guess yes.

Than I would call his supervisor and file a formal complaint. It also helps next time to get a badge number.

[jplain]

love2smile, it may be unfair, but police officers cannot be allowed to take out their bad days on citizens. The intended or unintended negative consequences are in no way comparable to an unpleasant retail transaction.

[Renee in NC]

I am responding to this because I am married to a "cop". You have to remember that EVERYONE including law enforcement officers have bad days.

Have you ever had a rude salesperson? Or another rude person you had to deal with? Just remember just because someone is a cop, they too are human and would you be posting this if the person who was rude to you worked at Target or a grocery store? Just sayin'

 

Gosh, people post about that all the time. Rude teachers, rude sales clerks, rude cops, rude receptionists - I've even posted about a rude speech therapist.

[jujsky]

love2smile, it may be unfair, but police officers cannot be allowed to take out their bad days on citizens. The intended or unintended negative consequences are in no way comparable to an unpleasant retail transaction.

 

:iagree: You can't compare the 2. A police officer has authority & a gun. A retail person doesn't. While a retail person can be rude or a jerk, there is something inherently unnerving about a screaming authority figure in uniform with a gun.

[LibraryLover]

Gosh, people post about that all the time. Rude teachers, rude sales clerks, rude cops, rude receptionists - I've even posted about a rude speech therapist.

 

 

yep. People can be rude a-holes. Cops, clerks, teachers, parents.

[Pink Fairy]

I am responding to this because I am married to a "cop". You have to remember that EVERYONE including law enforcement officers have bad days.

Have you ever had a rude salesperson? Or another rude person you had to deal with? Just remember just because someone is a cop, they too are human and would you be posting this if the person who was rude to you worked at Target or a grocery store? Just sayin'

 

There are some jobs that are so important that having a bad day is just not a good enough excuse. And yes, we have had posts about rude sales clerks, where the only repercussion is an irritated customer. A cop (or a teacher, or a clergyman, etc.) having a bad day...well, that has the potential to be much more serious and cause lasting harm. It wasn't too long ago that I read on this very board that someone's children are now afraid of the police, and would never want to call the police if they were in trouble, because some officer was having a bad day. I would never make excuses for a teacher that was bullying a student, although my dh is a teacher. Those in position of authority should be held to a higher standard.

[Perry]

You have to remember that EVERYONE including law enforcement officers have bad days.

Have you ever had a rude salesperson? Or another rude person you had to deal with? Just remember just because someone is a cop, they too are human and would you be posting this if the person who was rude to you worked at Target or a grocery store? Just sayin'

Having a bad day is no excuse for terrifying an innocent civilian. A rude cop is much more threatening than a rude salesperson.

 

I had only met reasonable, polite, professional policeman until ten years ago. I then had an encounter with a raging, screaming, completely out of control cop, who let his German Shepherd jump on my car and stick his head in the back window where my terrified two year old sat in a car seat. The road was blocked off for some high profile politician, and he was directing traffic. He simply walked up to my car as I was waiting to turn around. I had done nothing wrong, had not broken any laws.

 

I know there are mostly good cops. But it was a frightening experience I will never forget, and the two year old remembers it too. It only takes one bad apple.

Edited June 8, 2010 by Perry

[LibraryLover]

Than I would call his supervisor and file a formal complaint. It also helps next time to get a badge number.

 

 

This. Without hesitation on my part.

[MaMa2005]

Now... two of the cities in our county? Hoo-boy. That's a whole 'nother story. I've been yelled at for.. well, tbh, I'm still not sure what I was yelled at for. That kind of thing. Unfortunately, some depts do not seem to care how the public perceives their officers. It ultimately hurts everyone when they do that.

 

And since I live in the same county as you and smrtmama, I know exactly what one of those cities is! DH got pulled over in one of them because he was speeding home to be by his dying grandmother's side. Due to the rudeness of that particular police officer, DH made it home 10 minutes after his grandmother passed away. Not a good experience.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Our 14 and 12yr old boys were very small and a police officer pulled my husband over one night. He was so rude, loud and mean that our older boys still dislike and distrust the police. They expect everything they do to be hurtful and non-helpful. No matter how many times we've covered over and over how this guy was an exception (not entirely true in my experience), they still carry these feelings. It's unfortunate. They don't view the police as people they can turn to. They view them as the trouble.

[LibraryLover]

And since I live in the same county as you and smrtmama, I know exactly what one of those cities is! DH got pulled over in one of them because he was speeding home to be by his dying grandmother's side. Due to the rudeness of that particular police officer, DH made it home 10 minutes after his grandmother passed away. Not a good experience.

 

 

That is really sad. :(

 

Speeding is scary. We live on a country road, and people think you can do 80 here on weekends. I worry. A cop has no way of knowing who is going to a dying bedside, and who is going to the mall. I would not like to be a cop. You are a hero if you help someone, an @sshole if you are doing your job and a baby cries because of you have a sniffing police dog doing it's job in a particular situation.

 

Maybe people could clearly mark their cars : "I am a Good Guy, let me go" , and "I am a Bad Guy, pull me over", or "I am speeding because my Dad is in the hospital", and "I am speeding because driving the speed limit is boring!"

[annandatje]

I am terrified of police officers. Simply passing by an officer on the street elicits physical symptons of anxiety. The few professional police officers I have encountered can't erase aftereffect of encounters with sadistic bullies who relish threatening, intimidating, and purposefully inflicting pain on citizens who are law abiding.

[Pink Fairy]

I then had an encounter with a raging, screaming, completely out of control cop, who let his German Shepherd jump on my car and stick his head in the back window where my terrified two year old sat in a car seat. The road was blocked off for some high profile politician, and he was directing traffic. He simply walked up to my car as I was waiting to turn around. I had done nothing wrong, had not broken any laws.

 

 

That is really sad. :(

 

You are a hero if you help someone, an @sshole if you are doing your job and a baby cries because of you have a sniffing police dog doing it's job in a particular situation.

 

 

Assuming that this is what you were referring to, your reconstruction of the event is breathtaking. Nice.

[LibraryLover]

Assuming that this is what you were referring to, your reconstruction of the event is breathtaking. Nice.

 

 

I am not sure what you mean. Have I mentioned my NIl's police dogs here before? I probably have. They are scary! My NIL's police dogs are forever having to go into areas with little kids. He tries to let families know he is coming, but he says there are always little kids around he is afraid of terrifying. Police dogs are controlled, but fierce-looking & *loud*.

[Pink Fairy]

I am not sure what you mean. Have I mentioned my NIl's police dogs here before? I probably have. They are scary! My NIL's police dogs are forever having to go into areas with little kids. He tries to let families know he is coming, but he says there are always little kids around he is afraid of terrifying. Police dogs are controlled, but fierce-looking & *loud*.

 

My apologies if I misunderstood your previous post. It sounded like a reinterpretation of what happened to Perry. Mea culpa.

[LibraryLover]

Oh! I see what you mean! I missed that, Mamabegood. Dogs can be terrifying. Many children , police dog or no, can be terrified by loud & big dogs, no doubt. Little children can be traumatized by neighborhood pets...anything. Dog are an issue. They are but one step up from wolves, really. Wolves have always terrified man. I often think of Pa Ingalls sitting with his gun listening for wolves...ready to protect Ma, Laura, Mary and little Grace from them.

Edited June 8, 2010 by LibraryLover

[*********]

would you be posting this if the person who was rude to you worked at Target or a grocery store? Just sayin'

 

Someone who works at Target or a grocery store could not take me to jail.

 

Someone who works at Target or a grocery store does not carry a gun.

 

Someone who works at Target or a grocery store is not in a position of authority over society.

 

Just sayin'.

[stripe]

People post on here all the time about rude cashiers, rude parents, rude kids, rude neighbors, and rude everyone else. In fact, several people in this thread mentioned having encounters with caring police officers even when they did something wrong. Being alone with someone with a weapon who is screaming at you is a step above having someone overcharge you for pickles or make fun of your children's education, stress-wise.

 

Personally, I think it's a good reminder of how to behave. Do you want to be the "good cop" variety who assists others and intervenes in bad situations, and gently corrects? Or do you want to be the sort who just inspires everyone to speed when you're not around?

[Perry]

an @sshole if you are doing your job and a baby cries because of you have a sniffing police dog doing it's job in a

Yes, he was an @sshole, not because the dog was doing his job, but because the cop was screaming and raving like a lunatic while allowing his dog to terrify a young child for NO REASON. That isn't doing your job.

[lllll]

..

[LibraryLover]

Yes, he was an @sshole, not because the dog was doing his job, but because the cop was screaming and raving like a lunatic while allowing his dog to terrify a young child for NO REASON. That isn't doing your job.

 

That's bad.

 

There are piss- poor wokers at every turn. I am actually surprised so many of us live, as we are so at the mercy of broken blinkers, bad educations, wonky breaks, E-coli spinach etc etc. One of my BIL's died after a straight-forward, but totally botched surgery in a major teacing hospital. He was 58. It was one of the the saddest things that had happened to our family. He was an absolutely loving and amazing person.

 

I wish life was more straightforward, less complicated, and with fewer people who screw up.

Edited June 8, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Nestof3]

I honestly did not know it had expired because I assumed that car inspection/registration had the same deadline (for me the end of the month).

 

 

 

We always get a bill in the mail for registration. What sneaks up on us is inspection. We drove months on a dead inspection, and we live across the street from a police officer. :)

[Nestof3]

I've had rude cops and I've had great cops (one is my neighbor, the other pulled us over when my husband was speeding out of town).

 

I do think there was generalization going on in the title. While I do think that people in authority positions often struggle with how to handle that position, I don't think all cops are rude.

 

I also think the stress syndrome someone else mentioned plays into it often. My son, who is planning on going into law enforcement, has been reading a book about the effect of law enforcement on you -- hypervigilence, I think he called it.

[LibraryLover]

What happens when a cop is not hpervigilent and something bad happens? That cop is going to be in big $hit. With his officers, with his community. I don't wonder why cops err on the side of hypervigilence. I am aware that some cops can be horrible!, but I would also not like to be one. Any minor mistake in judgement; any time you err on the side of caution and bad things happen, your neck is on the block. Same with social workers. "Everything looked fine. The children seemed happy, if the home a bit chaotic. We had no reason to believe she would smother the child to death once we left."

 

I've had rude cops and I've had great cops (one is my neighbor, the other pulled us over when my husband was speeding out of town).

 

I do think there was generalization going on in the title. While I do think that people in authority positions often struggle with how to handle that position, I don't think all cops are rude.

 

I also think the stress syndrome someone else mentioned plays into it often. My son, who is planning on going into law enforcement, has been reading a book about the effect of law enforcement on you -- hypervigilence, I think he called it.

[elizabeth]

The title is officer. It is a good idea to refer to police officers as such. It is also a good idea not to use that term "cop" around your dc as when they get pulled over as most of us do at one time or another, the last thing you want is for your young adult to use the word cop. It is not respectful nor is it helpful. I have never ever heard an adult not in the system use the word cop. There is not a more thankless job in the world. I live in abject terror for many of the summer months as our neighborhood is meth central . Every day I see a "cop" outside I say a little prayer of thanks and for their protection from the vermin that they deal with every day. Wander out of the suburbs and into a neighborhood populated by drug manufacturing/cooking and addicts, you will see officers in a whole new light.

[Nestof3]

I didn't realize cop was derogatory. I meant no offense.

 

The title is officer. It is a good idea to refer to police officers as such. It is also a good idea not to use that term "cop" around your dc as when they get pulled over as most of us do at one time or another, the last thing you want is for your young adult to use the word cop. It is not respectful nor is it helpful. I have never ever heard an adult not in the system use the word cop. There is not a more thankless job in the world. I live in abject terror for many of the summer months as our neighborhood is meth central . Every day I see a "cop" outside I say a little prayer of thanks and for their protection from the vermin that they deal with every day. Wander out of the suburbs and into a neighborhood populated by drug manufacturing/cooking and addicts, you will see officers in a whole new light.

[Love2Smile]

:iagree:

The title is officer. It is a good idea to refer to police officers as such. It is also a good idea not to use that term "cop" around your dc as when they get pulled over as most of us do at one time or another, the last thing you want is for your young adult to use the word cop. It is not respectful nor is it helpful. I have never ever heard an adult not in the system use the word cop. There is not a more thankless job in the world. I live in abject terror for many of the summer months as our neighborhood is meth central . Every day I see a "cop" outside I say a little prayer of thanks and for their protection from the vermin that they deal with every day. Wander out of the suburbs and into a neighborhood populated by drug manufacturing/cooking and addicts, you will see officers in a whole new light.

:iagree:

I agree! They are "Law Enforcement Officers"!

A truly thankless job most of the time. My hubby has been one, now a Captain for 25 years...

[Audrey]

Well, IMO, I'll cut the officer all the slack he needs since every time he pulls over a car he doesn't know if you're going to be Miss Mommy Nicey-nice or Psychob*tch from H&ll with a loaded gun.

 

Instead of "why'd you pull me over?" you should have waited until he spoke to you first. "Thank you, Officer" and "Have a nice day, Officer" goes a long way, too.

 

Even if he is rude, the fact is that his badge trumps your feelings in that situation. If he gives you a ticket, the time to protest is at your court date.

[Love2Smile]

Well, IMO, I'll cut the officer all the slack he needs since every time he pulls over a car he doesn't know if you're going to be Miss Mommy Nicey-nice or Psychob*tch from H&ll with a loaded gun.

 

Instead of "why'd you pull me over?" you should have waited until he spoke to you first.

 

"Thank you, Officer" and "Have a nice day, Officer" goes a long way, too.

YES! How many officers get killed each year??? Read your papers and listen to the news! So you feel a "cop" was rude...sorry! Get over it! He risks his life each and every day so YOU can be safe!

( thought I would not post anymore on this thread, but can't help myself!)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've found that respectful speech, owning up to speeding or the lack of registration (both of which I've been pulled over for), and a general respectful attitude go a long way. It may not get me out of a ticket (and I don't act that way for that purpose) but it does defuse what could be a very tense situation. I've had police officers thank me and praise me to my kids for the respectful way I've talked to them.

[elizabeth]

I didn't realize cop was derogatory. I meant no offense.

 

And I am sure you did not mean any. I think it is wonderful that your son is considering law enforcement as there is little doubt you have raised a scholar and a gentleman. My friends who are officers have complained about the term so many times and more importantly it rankles them when uttered by young adults in a routine traffic stop. It is hard to be taken seriously and as a person of respect when using slang. Maybe I am edgy today from a profoundly unpleasant client whose child walloped a resource officer at school and was expelled from the summer session for the assault. The mother wants to sue the school. Awesome parenting...

[kalanamak]

Well, IMO, I'll cut the officer all the slack he needs since every time he pulls over a car he doesn't know if you're going to be Miss Mommy Nicey-nice or Psychob*tch from H&ll with a loaded gun.

 

Instead of "why'd you pull me over?" you should have waited until he spoke to you first. "Thank you, Officer" and "Have a nice day, Officer" goes a long way, too.

 

After a neighbor asked me to take her car and go pick up a birthday cake she'd ordered, and it was an expired tab, I DID say "Good afternoon, officer, what seems to be the trouble?", after pulling over promptly.

After he shouted and got sarcastic about my "story", he let me go with a ticket, and I wrote a letter to his boss stating that IF I had been a criminal with a trunk full of hard drugs and a gun in my jacket, that shouting would have certainly made me pull the trigger and bolt.

 

If you are having such a bad day you open a conversation by shouting at a calm, polite young woman by herself in a rather unremarkable Nissan (no smoked windows, etc) in a suburban neighborhood, you are in no shape to be working a shift. Go home.

 

That said, I have also written letters after observing police doing a good job, two in particular on the NYC subway system. A third did not get a letter, because after everyone had moved on, I went over to thank him for his decent handling of a subway platform shouting match. He responded with a comment about my b@@ks. So, no letter.

[Joker]

I think there are good officers and bad officers. I have had an experience with each, unfortunately the bad experience makes me weary of all officers. When I was 16 I had a very bad experience. The officer was fired and I learned an early distrust of policemen. Recently, I was pulled over, the first time since I was 16, and he was very nice. I didn't receive a ticket, he was very nice and made my children laugh. They trust officers so far. I hope that lasts for a while. I don't think they all fall into a category of "rude" but they also don't all deserve respect.

[Harriet Vane]

I've found that respectful speech, owning up to speeding or the lack of registration (both of which I've been pulled over for), and a general respectful attitude go a long way. It may not get me out of a ticket (and I don't act that way for that purpose) but it does defuse what could be a very tense situation. I've had police officers thank me and praise me to my kids for the respectful way I've talked to them.

 

I do agree that in most situations, with most people, this is true.

 

However, I want to offer another perspective, just for the sake of speaking for those for whom this has not been true.

 

There are times that respectful speech has absolutely no effect on a bully. There are people for whom respectful speech has no effect at all.

 

I live in a poor, primarily African-American neighborhood in Chicago. I have seen police discrimination first hand, and I have friends who have experienced police brutality. One of those friends, a pastor and former Boy Scout who has never, ever been criminal or delinquent, made the mistake, as a black man, of pulling into a rest stop in Shepherdsville (KKK stronghold) to stretch his legs and make a few phone calls. His wife and children were witness to a short beating, followed by his being handcuffed and imprisoned. In addition to the beating, the officers were unbelievably awful to the entire family. He was able to prove his innocence in court, thank God. It was terribly frightening, especially considering how thoroughly, truly unprovoked the attack was and how innocent he was.

 

I know that there are many officers out there who are upstanding, and I truly applaud them. Two of them were at my house just last night--I had to call about screaming in the park behind my house. I thanked them with my whole heart for the job they are doing. I also know the integrity of my friend who is a police officer in a town an hour away.

 

My point is NOT that some cops are bad, but that respectful speech or humble demeanor doesn't always affect a determined bully.

[Mejane]

There are some jobs that are so important that having a bad day is just not a good enough excuse. And yes, we have had posts about rude sales clerks, where the only repercussion is an irritated customer. A cop (or a teacher, or a clergyman, etc.) having a bad day...well, that has the potential to be much more serious and cause lasting harm. It wasn't too long ago that I read on this very board that someone's children are now afraid of the police, and would never want to call the police if they were in trouble, because some officer was having a bad day. I would never make excuses for a teacher that was bullying a student, although my dh is a teacher. Those in position of authority should be held to a higher standard.

 

And yet I have read on these very boards where people have used the excuse "having a bad day" to justify a mother being verbally abusive to her children. Interesting.

 

(OT, and not implying you feel that way, Mamabegood.)

Edited June 8, 2010 by Mejane

[Mejane]

Well, IMO, I'll cut the officer all the slack he needs since every time he pulls over a car he doesn't know if you're going to be Miss Mommy Nicey-nice or Psychob*tch from H&ll with a loaded gun.

 

 

 

:iagree: I've met both types of officer, and there are some really egotistical, rude ones out there, but let's remember what they do. You couldn't pay me enough.