What do your kids think about other homeschoolers?

[Karen in CO]

Yesterday, I took my dd9 for an initial consultation with an orthodontist. During the converstation, he asked her the usual, "Where do you go to school?" to which she answered, "I don't." Strange because she usually says she's homeschooled. Anyway, he said, "Are you homeschooled? I find that homeschooled kids are often the brightest." Now for the shocker.... She replied, "Not all of them. I've met some kids my age whose parents never taught them to read, and who say they are homeschooling them when they are just not educating them at all." :blink:

 

Golly. She does know people with learning problems so I know she isn't lumping them into this indictment, but wow.

 

Now I'm curious. What do other homeschooled kids tell people about homeschooling and homeschoolers? Have your kids met other homeschoolers who are educated differently than they are? What do they think about kids who do significantly more or less school work?

[Mejane]

I like her honesty. :D

 

My kids would say the same. Our local group is very diverse, both in terms of schooling style and personalities. Some of the kids are terrific. Some... not so much.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

Our neighbor's young boys and mine play together. They are also homeschooling. My 11 year old sometimes tells me he is "worried" about the oldest boy's education (8yo). I have had to tell him that it is not his place to be worried, it is his parent's, and not to mention his concerns because it would be rude.

 

The mother has joked with me and said that her boys do not understand why mine can not play outside at any time of the day they want. They say, "Aren't they homeschooled too?"

 

So, yeah, mine know that all homeschoolers are not the same.

[TravelingChris]

My kids are usually amazed that many others don't do their work. Both of my girls think that one of the best things about homeschooling is the ability to have enough time to do a lot of work. I know dd complained about some other kid and how much time he does on computer games. Then their other complaints center around style. But that is a more local thing since most homeschoolers were plenty stylish in Fl. Here we have some who are but most who aren't. For some reason, it bugs my one dd a lot. (Oh, and she doesn't mean latest so-called fashion styles, she means issues such as not well-fitting clothes or choosing poor color combinations)

[Karen in CO]

(Oh, and she doesn't mean latest so-called fashion styles, she means issues such as not well-fitting clothes or choosing poor color combinations)

lol - my dd also gets bothered if girls wear skirts that are too short. Which is funnny to me because I don't remember the last time I wore a skirt, but I'm certain it was short. She is careful to not be rude about other people's clothing which is good. She can't help being opinionated, but she can help being rude.

[Chrystal]

My oldest is the same. She worries about some of the other kids too.

She sometimes feels out of place at our co-op because a lot of the kids there come from fundamentalist families, which we are not. We don't have a problem with that, she just feels a little different.

My youngest doesn't really understand why everyone doesn't homeschool. She loves it and wishes all the kids were like her so that she could have more friends to play with once she is done with her school work. :001_smile:

[TXMary2]

My ds14 has some strong opinions about a couple of homeschooled kids he knows. Also, one of his formerly hs friends turned ps kid has "completely lost his mind and doesn't care at all about his education anymore" according to my ds. He notices what other kids know and don't know. He has goals for his future so he doesn't understand people that don't have goals.

[PineFarmMom]

My kids have come more in contact with the, well, self-righteous group than with the uneducated ones. As a whole, though, because we have a pretty good group of hs friends, my dc have good opinions of homeschoolers.

 

There is one family we know who give it a bad name because their children are oooh so much better than everyone else's kids.;) I'd say they are in the minority.

 

Dd did have a pretty good friend a couple of years ago whose mom popped her in front of SOS and rarely checked her. She was supposed to be entering 9th grade, per her age, but was actually finishing 5th grade and failing. She was a sweet girl and I hurt for her. Her mom just didn't pay much attention to her, from all appearances. That one stuck with dd as the not-so-pretty side of homeschooling.

[ereks mom]

I like her honesty. :D

 

My kids would say the same. Our local group is very diverse, both in terms of schooling style and personalities. Some of the kids are terrific. Some... not so much.

 

:iagree:

 

Unfortunately, many of the homeschoolers in our area are lacking in academics AND social skills. My dc appreciate the fact that I require them to work hard, and they are critical (at home, anyway) of those who don't. Homeschoolers around here are generally seen as weirdos, and in a lot of ways, the label is deserved. :confused: People who meet my dc for the first time are often surprised to find out that they are homeschooled because they certainly don't fit the mold.

[MamaT]

:iagree:

 

Unfortunately, many of the homeschoolers in our area are lacking in academics AND social skills. My dc appreciate the fact that I require them to work hard, and they are critical (at home, anyway) of those who don't. Homeschoolers around here are generally seen as weirdos, and in a lot of ways, the label is deserved. :confused: People who meet my dc for the first time are often surprised to find out that they are homeschooled because they certainly don't fit the mold.

 

This is our experience as well. I know one homeschool mom whose 11th grade daughter, who is friends with my son, is in the same math book as my 7th grade daughter (pre-algebra). Her homeschooling style is VERY relaxed. It worries my son.

[AHASRADA]

I don't think my dc would ever say anything bad about hsers, per se, since they are among them :). It is more a particular approach, like unschooling, that they would criticize, rather than the hsers themselves.

 

They do make comments that certain friends "don't do any work", and I try to explain the concept of unschooling, etc., which they don't get.

 

I think they are very aware that any comment they make about hsing to an "outsider" will be a reflection on them and would therefore think twice about saying anything negative, no matter how true it may be. This would be my main concern with your dd's comments. Unfortunately, there are many stereotypes and negative impressions regarding hsing and hsers in the wider society. Yes, we have our problems and black sheep, like any community, but the media will pick up on those and sensationalize them without any help from us. Good PR should be our focus as ambassadors for our educational choice.

 

BTW, ds did ask me a year or two ago, "Why are we homeschooled? We're not wierd, or dumb, or super-smart or anything." :001_huh: I realized that, while there certainly are "normal" kids in our group, there are several with obvious issues which caused their parents to pull them out of school, or were much too advanced for school. We had a nice discussion of the benefits of homeschooling for many kinds of kids, not just those who are "different."

[Carrie12345]

Now that you have me thinking about it, I've never heard any of my kids say anything about homeschooling that wasn't specific to our family! (My 11yo probably would have answered "Yeah, I'm really smart in most things!" :tongue_smilie:)

 

My kids probably spend as much time with ps'ers as they do hs'ers. There are kids they like and kids they don't. Weirdos and normals and geniuses and... not-so-geniuses. In our circles, I think they're evenly spread. As far as I'm aware, my kids don't see any of that as a representation of one or the other.

 

Then again, maybe they just haven't had the opportunity to mention it! ;)

[Colleen]

 

What do other homeschooled kids tell people about homeschooling and homeschoolers? Have your kids met other homeschoolers who are educated differently than they are? What do they think about kids who do significantly more or less school work?

My guys don't have a clue whether other homeschoolers are doing more or less work, and I doubt they care. They (my older two in particular) do their best not to be identified as homeschoolers because, (a) they'd prefer to go to school, and (b) they consider most homeschoolers rather "different" when it comes to social skills, fashion sense, etc. I have to say I agree with them.:tongue_smilie:

 

[JudoMom]

Yesterday, I took my dd9 for an initial consultation with an orthodontist. During the converstation, he asked her the usual, "Where do you go to school?" to which she answered, "I don't." Strange because she usually says she's homeschooled. Anyway, he said, "Are you homeschooled? I find that homeschooled kids are often the brightest." Now for the shocker.... She replied, "Not all of them. I've met some kids my age whose parents never taught them to read, and who say they are homeschooling them when they are just not educating them at all." :blink:

 

Golly. She does know people with learning problems so I know she isn't lumping them into this indictment, but wow.

 

Now I'm curious. What do other homeschooled kids tell people about homeschooling and homeschoolers? Have your kids met other homeschoolers who are educated differently than they are? What do they think about kids who do significantly more or less school work?

 

My boys have only talked to me once that I can recall about another homeschooling family, and it was to complain recently. Turns out their friend feels bad for them because they don't get a three month summer break. I think until their friend told them he got a 3 month break, they thought it was a public school only happening :lol:.

 

We've been blessed with a mostly "normal" homeschooling circle of friends who educate their kids well.

[Haiku]

Have your kids met other homeschoolers who are educated differently than they are? What do they think about kids who do significantly more or less school work?

 

Yes, my kids have met other kids who are homeschooled differently than they are. Our homeschool group is populated by people with all kinds of philosophies. I don't think my kids are really aware of it or care. To them, homeschooled kids are more similar than different.

 

Tara

[Photo Ninja]

Interesting question. My youngest is graduating from high school next week, and all my dc have always been hsed. I just wanted to give you context.

 

I have discussed hsing with each of my dc because I want to know what they think of their experience and preparation for life and college. All my dc are in college and started college courses while they were in high school, and all have said they are glad they were hsed and they recognized the benefits they had by hsing.

 

They have not compared their curriculum with other hser's curriculum, or the amount of work they do compared with other hsers. They have compared it to their ps friends' school work, though. They have lots of hsed friends who they have known for most their lives.

 

There have only been two things they have commented on that they have observed about hsers in general (and have not named specific hsers because they just wouldn't do that, but I am pretty sure I know who they referred to).

 

1. There are some hsed young men who are not "all boy", in their terms. They carry themselves more feminine, won't play games where they may get dirty or sweaty, etc. Their take is that these young men have spent so much time around sisters and their mother that they haven't been able to do guy things and they are not comfortable doing 'boy things'. In a couple cases, I think this is just how they were raised. They were dressed too nicely to go play ball in the dirt and they were supposed to behave properly, which meant 'don't get your clothes dirty' and 'don't wrestle', etc., things that most boys just do. So they just never did those things. I think it has more to do with a way of life than anything intentional. Anyway, that has been one observation.

 

2. The other thing my dc have all mentioned (individually, so I doubt they have discussed it among themselves) is that some hsing families have kept their dc so separate from the real world that the kids don't know how to handle situations that come up in real life. Their examples are how some of the hsed students they know go to the community college and don't seem to know when to speak up and when to be quiet. They "take the bait" for every argument and usually end up getting pretty verbally beat up time and time again. My dc say they seem to lack judgment on when to let comments slide. My dc are willing to speak up when that is the right thing to do, but also determine when speaking up is pointless because the person is only trying to set up an argument, usually Christianity related. There is no point to arguing with someone whose goal is simply to argue. I hope that makes sense. These students usually leave the college after one semester, saying it is too secular for them. My dc's observation is that they have been so sheltered in a Christian environment, not watching much tv, etc. that they just don't know how to handle the world and are not comfortable there. Please understand, I am not saying that students need to participate in all that goes on on a college campus, and my dc certainly choose not to, but they are able to function there and learn without being offended and speaking up about most everything they see there. My thought is that this is a very small percentage of the hsers we know. Most don't fall into this category at all.

 

I hope I explained this well and didn't offend anyone. I certainly didn't mean to.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I would guess my daughter would have just smiled and left it at that. My son probably would have said he was not good at school.

 

However, both have found that the majority of homeschoolers are slackers, not getting an education.

 

It is NOT about a difference in educational styles. My kids have run the gamut themselves. They know plenty of people with good (or at least so-so) intentions who just fail to follow through. There is a LOT of non-schooling in our area. You'd be hard-pressed to find a child over 10 who was on grade level or above here.

[Tap]

I think my kids know more hs'ers than non-hsers. They are more likely to say something derogatory about a pser! We know a lot of people, but hsing is very popular in our area. In our neighborhood, there are 10 families out of 100 who homeschool.

[rwjx2khsmj]

My kids think that other homeschool kids are usually big dorks. It's not pretty but there you have it. We've only been homeschooling for a year and I'm trying to broaden their horizons. They are now willing to say that "some" homeschool kids are big dorks.:001_huh:

[Greta]

I just asked my dd her impression of other homeschool kids. She said. "To tell you the truth, most of them have really terrible table manners. It grosses me out to eat with them!" :lol: I did not see that coming! I don't think she's at all aware of how other homeschoolers approach academics, though.

[sassenach]

My youngers aren't that perceptive, but my oldest has coined a phrase. There are homeschoolers, and then there are capital-H homeschoolers. The former are the normal hsers, the latter are the super awkward/isolationist hsers. That phrasing only really pertains to their social abilities, not their academic level. I don't think she pays any attention to what other kids are learning, although she will help her friends that go to public/private school with their homework, so they can hurry up and hang out! Most of my kids' friends are not hsers.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

We don't know many homeschoolers except for my nieces and nephews, because our first experiences with local support groups were not great. They were all made up of ill-mannered non-schoolers. After those associations, my children shied away from telling people that they homeschool.

 

:(

 

DS13 recently joined Civil Air Patrol and he finally feels as if he's found the others like himself. This particular group is 98% male and 75% homeschooled. The other boys are familiar with SL, WTM, IEW, etc. and seem to have similar home standards of respect and discipline. They are all thriving in CAP. I have no idea where they all come from! DS says that most of the cadets drive an hour or two to CAP.

 

I think in our immediate area you have to pay a zillion dollars for the coops and support groups where the classical hs'ers meet, although I've never been able to afford those groups to find out. The cheap-to-free groups are really not for us.

[Parrothead]

Dd has one homeschooling friend, but has never commented on df's workload. Dd knows that df's workload is heavier than ours right now. This is df's first year homeschooling and our 7th. We are coasting into the end of the year. They are obsessing about finishing every last page of every book.

[Dandelion]

All of DS's friends are homeschoolers, so it's all he knows. At his age, they don't really discuss academics.

 

In our HS group, we have all homeschooling/unschooling styles represented as well as all "life philosophies". It's truly an inclusive and mixed group. I've noticed that some of the kids don't seem to have a grasp of the basics that I would expect them to have at their age (for example, a 9-yo who doesn't seem to know her alphabet :confused:), but DS is a pretty non-judgmental kid and hasn't yet commented on any differences he's come across. We'll see whether that continues as he gets older... ;)

[NCMom]

My middle and my oldest frequently lament how they used to know all these interested and interesting homeschoolers. And I have to agree. We used to meet so many children who had passions and interests outside of Hannah Montana, clothes and hair. :001_smile: But not anymore.

 

Mine also think that they have nothing in common w/most hsers we know. We know 4 homeschoolers who are interested in academics and TWO who are willing to admit to having interests outside of pop culture. 3 of the 5 kids in my co-op class this year informed me that they never, ever read and indeed had seemingly never read most/any classic kids lit and any lit outside of our co-op for that matter. Not that it is any of my business, it's just one of the reasons my kids think that they have nothing in common w/ the others; it's uncool to read or be interested in ANYTHING but movies and music.

 

My kids see that most people here (no matter where schooled) do not seem to be on grade level...so it's a moot point, lol. Our hs culture here is one that enables mediocrity and non-schooling. My kids have flatly refused to participate in homeschooling events at all anymore. And it's pretty depressing.

 

Georgia

[dirty ethel rackham]

Wow! I am surprised at all the judgemental opinions expressed here. I am thankful that my IRL homeschool community is much more accepting and supportive.

 

My boys would probably be the social misfits that others here have commented on. It is not because they are homeschooled, but because they are who they are. At least they can be themselves without having to worry about getting beat up every day for not being cool enough. My boys can be socially awkward at times, but so can I - their mother who went to school. But at least they brush their hair and their clothing choices are pretty normal looking. Dd can blend into any environment.

 

I don't think my kids really care about the educational choices of other homeschoolers. An overwhelming majority of their friends are homeschooled. They just don't "get" public schooled kids - their squirreley energy, their misbehavior, their lack of respect for authority, their loudness, their inane interests. The only homeschoolers that my kids have negatively commented on are the "fundies", but mostly because they have been pretty mean to us (telling my kids they are going to hell because we don't believe in their brand of Christianity.) Most adults just love my boys because they are good kids to be around. The exceptions are the dads who prescribe to the "boys will be boys" excuse for bad behavior and have not grown up themselves. They think my boys (black and brown belts in Karate) are sissies for liking books and for not engaging in bullying behavior.

 

My dd is an exception. She has friends who go to school and are homeschooled. She gets along with everyone (except for the occasional mean girl.) Only the adults notice that she is homeschooled - mostly because she is well-behaved and nice to everyone. Okay, some of the kids who have no interests but what the Disney channel tells them to be obsessed with think my daughter is odd for having a wide variety of interests.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ds(almost 13) says that some kids do best in homeschooling and some do better in other educational settings.

 

He also says that some are very nice and some aren't. It depends on the person. (My input - isn't that the same for all people everywhere?)

[Jenny in Atl]

We've found (both my kids and I) that kids are kids... whether homeschooled or public/private schooled. Sure some of the fads are different, but they're basically the same (a wide range of all kinds).

[Daisy]

You know, when my children get together with other children, they just want to play. I've never heard them say anything negative about other children regardless of how they are educated. My kids are 100% all about play.

 

Maybe it is different in co-ops where children are actually taking classes together. We are just part of a social homeschool group. They wouldn't know if a child could read or not.

 

I think to a large degree children tend to pick up on their parents' attitudes.

Edited May 20, 2010 by Daisy

[Jenny in GA]

Haven't read the replies yet, but here's a conversation I had with my daughter about that.

[m0mmaBuck]

We don't belong to a HS group and the only time DS is around other HS'ing kids (that I am aware of) is for weekly science workshop at the local children's museum. Quite frankly he is just happy to be doing 'cool' experiments with other kids.

 

Most of his friends are from the neighborhood or Cub Scouts and go to PS. A few of his friends (or moreover their parents) have commented on his reading ability but otherwise they are just happy to play and hang out.

 

He is probably the 'oddball' who dresses funny (his personal tastes in clothes are a bit eccentric) that the other kids make fun of.

[Karen in CO]

Wow! I am surprised at all the judgemental opinions expressed here. I am thankful that my IRL homeschool community is much more accepting and supportive.

 

 

I was surprised by my dd's opinion which is why I was interested in what other people's kids thought. Since my dd started going to an enrichment school she has access to more than 80 homeschooled kids a week so for the last two years she has been meeting more homeschool kids than I have. She expressed concern over the past two years about kids in her class that can't read. The school is also where she found out that she had not learned place value - we'd never encountered higher level place value problems and I had just been giving her the information, but didn't teach it to her yet.

 

She is developing a peer group of homeschoolers. Last month she told me about a boy who might be a potential friend - he had quoted Shakespeare! She has trouble finding kids that she can talk to about things that interest her because she does things like read Shakespeare and history for fun. Can you imagine not knowing what the Magna Carta is? Even with the large pool of kids, she still has trouble finding more than two or three that share her interests. One of the things she doesn't like about summer is that all of the ps kids are out of school and pushing each other around at the pool and zoo and park and museum..

[Peela]

I was surprised by my dd's opinion which is why I was interested in what other people's kids thought. Since my dd started going to an enrichment school she has access to more than 80 homeschooled kids a week so for the last two years she has been meeting more homeschool kids than I have. She expressed concern over the past two years about kids in her class that can't read. The school is also where she found out that she had not learned place value - we'd never encountered higher level place value problems and I had just been giving her the information, but didn't teach it to her yet.

 

She is developing a peer group of homeschoolers. Last month she told me about a boy who might be a potential friend - he had quoted Shakespeare! She has trouble finding kids that she can talk to about things that interest her because she does things like read Shakespeare and history for fun. Can you imagine not knowing what the Magna Carta is? Even with the large pool of kids, she still has trouble finding more than two or three that share her interests. One of the things she doesn't like about summer is that all of the ps kids are out of school and pushing each other around at the pool and zoo and park and museum..

 

My kids find other homeschoolers boring if they are nerdy or academic or too protected or micromanaged by their parents so they cant have a private "kids world" with them. They are pretty typical kids who fit in quite well with the mainstream socially. At the same time, they are quite capable of reading at a high level, and dd is bright academically. They have mixed with a variety of homeschoolers and never had a problem when they were younger, whether anyone could read or not- not an issue really.

We dropped out of some activities because my kids were finding other homeschooled kids too nerdy. But mine are teens now. Their main socialising is with mainstream kids through Scouts/Venturers and in the street.

[fastforward]

You know, when my children get together with other children, they just want to play. I've never heard them say anything negative about other children regardless of how they are educated. My kids are 100% all about play.

 

My children are the same, and when initially reading this thread, I thought that maybe something is amiss with my older daughters because they don't see much difference between the HSers and PSers in their lives. They have never attributed behaviors based upon how their friends or acquaintances are schooled. Maybe my kids are just too young, though. They do relate to HSers better, but that's just my observation as an adult and their mother.

 

This thread has me wondering how the HSers I know see my family. I've received comments about my kids being 'dressed up' (I like the occasional 'matchy-matchy' Gymboree outfit) and I have a HSing mom friend who has implied that HSers don't care about their appearances. In the area of academics, I know some very intelligent, eclectic HSing folks who run circles around my children in their knowledge base, and I know some kids who seem to lack some basic skills for their age/grade level and would technically be considered academically behind my girls. (I've NEVER let on to my children about this!) Honestly, I'm convinced that a particular HS group that I am a part of views us as "less than" in when it comes to intelligence, and in another group, we're seen as average-to-mediocre. My kids and I aren't nerdy or really smart and sometimes we lack certain social graces, but we try to be kind, caring and decent people. I hope that counts for something! :tongue_smilie:

Edited May 20, 2010 by fastforward

[Mommyfaithe]

My kids think that other homeschool kids are usually big dorks. It's not pretty but there you have it. We've only been homeschooling for a year and I'm trying to broaden their horizons. They are now willing to say that "some" homeschool kids are big dorks.:001_huh:

 

:iagree: My kids think this too....My kids are pretty rough and tumble....and a little dorky sometimes too...LOL. They can laugh at their own dorkiness which would have been there no matter what....because their parents are a bit dorky too...LOL:lol:

 

My kids have had lots of freiends both hs'ed and ps'd, churched and not churched etc. They seem to hang out more with the kids who are well read, can have a good conversation and are more mild mannered not matter what their schooling or religious upbringing.

Faithe

[Impish]

Personally, one of the worst kids I've ever met was homeschooled. He was on Diva's soccer team last year, and a huge bully, even shoving her around on the field.

 

Better yet, when talking to his mother, she stated that 'he doesn't bully people without a reason'. :001_huh: So she admits her kid's a bully, but he is a logical one :glare:

[4kids4me]

:iagree:

 

Unfortunately, many of the homeschoolers in our area are lacking in academics AND social skills. My dc appreciate the fact that I require them to work hard, and they are critical (at home, anyway) of those who don't. Homeschoolers around here are generally seen as weirdos, and in a lot of ways, the label is deserved. :confused: People who meet my dc for the first time are often surprised to find out that they are homeschooled because they certainly don't fit the mold.

 

I find that kids that lack social skills are kids of parents who lack social skills. It's the same everywhere -- even public schools! :001_smile:

[Margo out of lurking]

We've found (both my kids and I) that kids are kids... whether homeschooled or public/private schooled. Sure some of the fads are different, but they're basically the same (a wide range of all kinds).

 

:iagree:

 

 

I'm amused by the broad statements about social awkwardness, or boys who aren't rough and tumble, or (fill in the blank). Those aren't traits reserved for homeschoolers, and I completely disagree that those characteristics are more prevalent in homeschoolers. (Maybe the hsers who think that way need to get out more!)

[asta]

My kids have come more in contact with the, well, self-righteous group than with the uneducated ones. As a whole, though, because we have a pretty good group of hs friends, my dc have good opinions of homeschoolers.

 

The only homeschoolers that my kids have negatively commented on are the "fundies", but mostly because they have been pretty mean to us (telling my kids they are going to hell because we don't believe in their brand of Christianity.) Most adults just love my boys because they are good kids to be around.

 

These are polite versions of what my son said.

 

 

a

[Orthodox6]

My children never have known enough homeschoolers to form any generalizations. The family whom we know best, we all recognize as "non-schoolers". :sad: We sometimes talk about this among ourselves, because we love these people very much, and hate to see how things continue.

 

DD has two other close homeschooled friends. We don't know how the family structures the education; we just know that school is taken seriously.

[LibraryLover]

,

Edited May 22, 2010 by LibraryLover

[mrbmom77]

Wow! I am surprised at all the judgemental opinions expressed here. I am thankful that my IRL homeschool community is much more accepting and supportive.

 

 

:iagree:

 

What I love about our homeschool group is that my son is accepted exactly as he is - social awkwardness, immaturity, and all!

 

My kids were in PS until the middle of 6th and 4th grades. DD has friends from PS, Girl Scouts, church, homeschool groups, other activities. I asked what she thought and she said, "Well, the homeschoolers we know don't dress trashy like the girls at school did." :001_huh: