katemary63 Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 My DD is 18 1/2, very responsible, Christian. We have family friends whom we have known for 6 years and with whom we are very close. They must go out of town and leave thier 15 year old son home alone for 2 days. He will then fly out to meet them. They want my DD, who is like an older sister to him, to house sit/ "babysit". So this boy (who is very manly now) and my DD would be in the house alone overnight. Would you guys allow that? Even if you completely trusted the kids? I'll not say what I think until I hear from you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkpan Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeOnTheRanch Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Would it be an option for him to stay at your house at night? I would be much more comfortable with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Would it be an option for him to stay at your house at night? I would be much more comfortable with that. I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Absolutely not. ITA with the suggestion that he stay with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 My DD is 18 1/2, very responsible, Christian. We have family friends whom we have known for 6 years and with whom we are very close. They must go out of town and leave thier 15 year old son home alone for 2 days. He will then fly out to meet them. They want my DD, who is like an older sister to him, to house sit/ "babysit". So this boy (who is very manly now) and my DD would be in the house alone overnight. Would you guys allow that? Even if you completely trusted the kids? I'll not say what I think until I hear from you all! No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No! But I would offer to let him stay with you. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Would it be an option for him to stay at your house at night? I would be much more comfortable with that. :iagree: Otherwise, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 I'm in agreement with all of the above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peri Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 I would not. It is not that I don't trust my child or the other child. It is just that putting my child and my friend's child in a situation where they could be tempted. Since your religious and I am religious I will get on that religious level. Basically, the devil looks for opportunities like this to whisper temptation into the hearts of mankind. Why give him that opportunity. It goes to the saying of an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. We are soooo understanding to this saying when it pertains to our health but it goes even further than that. It also applies to our soul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No, I would have him come over and spend the night at your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No. They are both old enough that it just doesn't look honorable. I would offer to have him spend nights at your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 I would not. It is not that I don't trust my child or the other child. It is just that putting my child and my friend's child in a situation where they could be tempted. Since your religious and I am religious I will get on that religious level. Basically, the devil looks for opportunities like this to whisper temptation into the hearts of mankind. Why give him that opportunity. It goes to the saying of an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. We are soooo understanding to this saying when it pertains to our health but it goes even further than that. It also applies to our soul. Exactly! All I could think of was, "it's just not fair to either of them." Thank you for saying it so well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.S. Burrow Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No, but not for the reasons that everyone else has given. I wouldn't because the young man is under the age of 17 and your DD is over the age of 18. I would want to protect my DD from any - I don't care how remote!!! - chance of a statutory rape charge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommytobees Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Would I "allow" this? Well, your daughter is 18 years old. She is an adult. Is she asking your advice if this is a good idea? I would give her _MY_ input on this arrangement and then go with HER gut. I would tell her basically that I didn't think it was a good idea and why. How about offering that he come and stay at your house. If they are a close family friends, then he should "move in" smoothly. Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Would I "allow" this? Well, your daughter is 18 years old. She is an adult. Is she asking your advice if this is a good idea? I would give her _MY_ input on this arrangement and then go with HER gut. I would tell her basically that I didn't think it was a good idea and why. How about offering that he come and stay at your house. If they are a close family friends, then he should "move in" smoothly. Kris Good point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No, but not for the reasons that everyone else has given. I wouldn't because the young man is under the age of 17 and your DD is over the age of 18. I would want to protect my DD from any - I don't care how remote!!! - chance of a statutory rape charge. Unfortunately, this is exactly why I would have to say no, too. An untrue accusation (or even a brag) of this caliber can destroy an entire life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No. I would have him come stay at your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 My DD is 18 1/2, very responsible, Christian...They must go out of town and leave thier 15 year old son home alone for 2 days...They want my DD, who is like an older sister to him, to house sit/ "babysit". So this boy (who is very manly now) and my DD would be in the house alone overnight. Would you guys allow that? Even if you completely trusted the kids? I'll not say what I think until I hear from you all! Nope. Not a chance. Not a good age spread at all. Do you have a son around his age that would enjoy hanging out w/him for a few days? If so, consider inviting him to your home for the few days. Do not make your 18 1/2 year old responsible for him, though, or even require her to spend any time with him. If you don't have any sons w/in a year of him, this may not be the year for this to happen. Just out of curiosity, why isn't he flying out w/his family? Work or school commitments? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Given the situation you describe, yes, I would. It's possible that your friends don't know who else to ask. Would it be possible for your friends' son to stay with your FAMILY, and then fly out? Your daughter could house sit the entire time with no problem. I suppose the only, um, reservation in her staying with him would be in avoiding the appearance (and reality) of evil? Are they attracted to each other? You just never know what might light a spark. Hmmm.... the more I think about this (and remember my hormones at that age), the more I'm inclined to say, "Yes, house. No, young man!" The house, after all, has no hormones. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Agree with most other posters - no way. Have him come to your house. She can housesit after he flies out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No! But I would offer to let him stay with you. Linda :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Would it be an option for him to stay at your house at night? I would be much more comfortable with that. This is my thought, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SproutMamaK Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 (edited) If for some reason he couldn't come to your house (which would be ideal) - yes, I would. She's 18 and from everything you've posted, she seems mature and responsible. Frankly, when I was 18 I would have been (IMHO, justifiable) insulted if someone had insinuated that I couldn't control myself around a 15 year old boy. Not only becasue of the age gap, but because if I'd worked that hard to become a mature, responsible individual it would sting like crazy to have my parents think I would use this as an excuse to do the most immature, reckless, and stupid thing imaginable. Unless, of course, you have concerns about this boy and the possibility of him forcing your DD - but if he's otherwise proven himself to be a good kid, that also seems a little much to be concerned about That being said, though, it makes SO much more sense for him to come to your home. I can't imagine why that wouldn't be a possibility, but if it's not - yes, I would let her. She's 18, and this is a great way for her to gain confidence, feel a small bit of responsibility and independence, not to mention prove herself. Edited May 12, 2010 by SproutMamaK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Would it be an option for him to stay at your house at night? I would be much more comfortable with that. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightly Salted Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No, but not for the reasons that everyone else has given. I wouldn't because the young man is under the age of 17 and your DD is over the age of 18. I would want to protect my DD from any - I don't care how remote!!! - chance of a statutory rape charge. Agreeing - BIG NO for me. Very ugly situation in our church last year with an older girl/younger boy of exactly the same ages ... not pretty, you don't want to go there ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 (edited) Edited. I thought the child in question was 8, not 18. Edited May 13, 2010 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No way, no how! I would be more than happy to have him stay at our house, though. Since your dd is over 18, I'm assuming she is listening and following your advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 While I agree that generally speaking it seems it would be easier/make more sense for the kid to stay at your house, I also definitely agree with the couple of posters who said that your daughter is technically of an age to make this decision for herself, and therefore, I'd let her make it. And like someone else said if she's 18 years old and as responsible as you say, it could be quite insulting to her for you to attempt to "forbid" this and quite hurtful, too, that the boy's parents trust her more than her own parents do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 My DD is 18 1/2, very responsible, Christian. We have family friends whom we have known for 6 years and with whom we are very close. They must go out of town and leave thier 15 year old son home alone for 2 days. He will then fly out to meet them. They want my DD, who is like an older sister to him, to house sit/ "babysit". So this boy (who is very manly now) and my DD would be in the house alone overnight. Would you guys allow that? Even if you completely trusted the kids? I'll not say what I think until I hear from you all! Absolutely not. I haven't read any of the replies, but my answer is no way! I cannot believe the parents would even consider it. Makes me wonder if they are matchmaking!!!! That boy would be MUCH better off alone than with an 18 year old girl in the house with him. Signed, Opinionated Scarlett who is now going to read the rest of the thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Well, since I left home at 16, and fended for myself quite well, I would be hypocritical to tell a trusted pair of kids no. I hope I have the courage to extend to my child the trust my parents gave me. If I did not trust my child, no, but at some point, you have to trust your child will rise to the occasion. I'd ask my daughter if she was comfortable with it, accept the rolled eyes and the "oh, mother", and trust my trustworthy daughter. 18 is of age. People go to war, people vote. I will be (quietly) disappointed in my parenting if I don't trust a person of this age to have decent judgment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 (edited) LOL :lol: I read that as 8 1/2 and was thinking, is she crazy!? She's 18. :lol: Edited May 13, 2010 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 While I agree that generally speaking it seems it would be easier/make more sense for the kid to stay at your house, I also definitely agree with the couple of posters who said that your daughter is technically of an age to make this decision for herself, and therefore, I'd let her make it. And like someone else said if she's 18 years old and as responsible as you say, it could be quite insulting to her for you to attempt to "forbid" this and quite hurtful, too, that the boy's parents trust her more than her own parents do. I don't think this is a trust issue. At least, for me, it's not. In the military (especially among leaders) there are regulations against *appearances* of wrong-doing. You can get in trouble for even getting yourself in a situation where you could be accused of wrong-doing. Life experience tells me that a 18 year old girl staying alone in a house for a weekend with a 15 year old boy, could have some bad outcomes. Therefore, I would counsel her to avoid that sort of situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Well, since I left home at 16, and fended for myself quite well, I would be hypocritical to tell a trusted pair of kids no. I hope I have the courage to extend to my child the trust my parents gave me. If I did not trust my child, no, but at some point, you have to trust your child will rise to the occasion. I'd ask my daughter if she was comfortable with it, accept the rolled eyes and the "oh, mother", and trust my trustworthy daughter. 18 is of age. People go to war, people vote. I will be (quietly) disappointed in my parenting if I don't trust a person of this age to have decent judgment. I don't see it as a trust issue at all....rather good sense. *I* am almost 45 and *I* wouldn't spend 2 days in a house with a man my age....:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 I don't see it as a trust issue at all....rather good sense. *I* am almost 45 and *I* wouldn't spend 2 days in a house with a man my age....:tongue_smilie: Really? What if was Danny DiVito? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Really? What if was Danny DiVito? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGin Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC3 Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Would it be an option for him to stay at your house at night? I would be much more comfortable with that. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 I don't see it as a trust issue at all....rather good sense. *I* am almost 45 and *I* wouldn't spend 2 days in a house with a man my age....:tongue_smilie: :iagree: I sure wouldn't either. And heck no to the original question. I don't care if he's 3 years younger. Being home alone with a guy with the opportunity there for unchaperoned mischief is just asking for trouble no matter how righteous the kids are. Especially if the 15 year old has gotten over the awkward geeky boy phase and is more manly. All the more reason to be concerned with teenage boy hormones on the loose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seibert4kids Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 No way! I'd never allow for that opportunity of temptation for either one of them. Moreover, what kind of a message would that send to others inside and outside your family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in TN Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Maybe your dd can housesit for them while their son stays at your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeenagerMom Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 There isn't anything TO allow. If my DD was 18 1/2 years old, I would allow her to make that decision for herself. If you are uncomfortable with it but she wants to, then I'd invite the boy to stay at my own house at night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Really? What if was Danny DiVito? Especially not Danny DeVito! I'd be afraid to fall asleep. Somewhere between Twins, Junior and the penguin in Batman Returns, he began to creep me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 :lol: Ha ha. Yer funny. Let us all remember that Scarlett has been separated for almost exactly one year. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 I agree with pretty much all of the PPs. I think it's a terrible idea and I'd let my daughter know my reservations, but ultimately it would be her choice since she is an adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 (edited) Thanks everybody. I agree with those who just don't think it's a good idea. But I needed some ammunition for my DD who can't, for the life of her, understand why. So, you all helped me a bunch because I let her read this whole thread and she now understands that it is a very valid position to say no to this idea. I will offer to let the young man stay the night at my house while DD stays at theirs. And FYI: Our DD is 18 but is a wonderful, respectful Christian girl who would never go against her parents wishes in this circumstance, even if she disagrees. She knows we have only her best interests in mind AND that we have more life experience then her and more Biblical wisdom then her. So, even though she says she doesn't really get it, she is going to respect our wishes. Thanks again! Edited May 13, 2010 by katemary63 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Lucky mama! She sounds like a special young woman! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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