Do you make piano lessons mandatory?

[5LittleMonkeys]

My oldest is "musically inclined"...I think. We purchased a full size keyboard for her last Christmas that has built in lessons on it. She has learned most of the songs on it and I constantly hear her playing other songs. When I ask her how she learned how to play them, where she got the sheet music for them, she says she just listened to the arrangement and was able to figure out how to play it on the keyboard. I mean she isn't playing Mozart or anything but she has been working on Pachebel's Canon in D Major. (It was my wedding song and she knows I love it.)

So here is my dilema. When I mention to her that we would be willing to pay for piano lessons she flatly refuses. When I ask her why she replies that she doesn't know...she just doesn't want to do lessons. My guess is that she hates practice. She was almost 10 before she learned how to ride her bike because she would never practice. I don't think she considers what she is doing on the keyboard as practice because it's up to her when and for how long she does it. To her it's just playing.

 

So, do I require that she atleast try the lessons for a few months with the hope that it will be something that she realizes is something she likes doing (and promise to let her quit if she doesn't like it) or do I buy her a learn at home program and casually leave it on her bed.

 

I posted recently that one of my biggest fears is that my dc do not push themselves to live up to the potential I see in them and this is a prime example of that. At the same time I don't want to squash the enjoyment she gets out of playing her way by making it something she has to do.

WWYD? I'd like to here pros and cons of both sides.

[annandatje]

No

[IsabelC]

Nope.

 

It sounds as though your main concern is that she has a lot of talent that could be squandered if you don't give her a bit of a push.

 

Firstly, 99% of kids learning keyboard are not going to be famous pianists. (No disrespect to your child or her musical ability, maybe she's in the other 1%, but it's a fact. I was thought to be very talented at piano when I was 8, and here I am a SAHM who only plays to accompany my 6yo. ;))

 

Secondly, many well-known musicians had little or no conventional instruction as children. Perhaps she is already learning in the way that is best for her.

 

Thirdly, if she is both hugely talented and hugely keen, she will find a way to develop her playing regardless of what you do. This may well even include formal lessons when she is ready for that.

 

And finally, would you really want her to be an amazing player at the expense of her enjoyment of music? Remember it takes approximately 10,000 hours of practice to reach a high level professional standard. Do you want to enforce this on a person who doesn't want to do it? Or would you rather give her every opportunity to learn as far as she wants to? Because 1000 hours of practice will get a person of average ability to the level where they can enjoy playing for themself, their friends, etc.

 

If you really want to encourage her to develop music reading skills, maybe you could get sheet music for some of her favorite pop songs, folk songs, classical pieces or hymns, whatever she really likes, and see whether she's interested getting some help with learning them. Some children who don't want to follow a piano curriculum are keen to be taught songs they already like, and at her age she likely has definite musical tastes of her own. In my teaching days I had an older child who just wouldn't practice at all, and was getting nowhere. I told her there was really no point if she wouldn't practice, and asked her to bring in a piece that she's be prepared to work on. She didn't magically start playing for hours every day, but she did do enough to manage a passable rendition of 'her' piece.

Edited May 3, 2010 by Hotdrink

[Peela]

I agree with the others- if she is not at least somewhat willing, I wouldnt force it. It was hard for me but ds14 wanted to stop his lessons recently and I realised I had little choice- you can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink!

 

Perhaps you could cajole her into trying a few lessons. But if she is self motivated...I would let her run with it and find her own way. Music is music and she is nurturing her musical capacity by playing. Lessons can often kill that desire to just play music for its own sake.

[gingersmom]

My daughter plays the clarinet (for several years now) and takes private lessons.

 

I have been asking my son to play an instrument for several years to no avail. He recently agreed to take piano lessons.

 

Am I forcing him? Yes/No.

 

Part of the reason is his personality. He will say no no no and then when he tries something he discovers he loves it and why didn't he try it years ago (going down the water slide comes to mind). So I don't mind being a little forceful in my persuasion.

 

We are going to take lessons this summer as a trial run to see how it goes. If he truly does not like it I will not force him to continue in the fall.

[lllll]

I don't know about the lessons, but our ds taught himself to play the piano around 14yo - with a free, clunker piano and a cheap keyboard. Here are a few things which helped him.

 

- He found a simple, summary-type book which explained how to read music and studied it, on his own, until he could read music, all the while experimenting with songs he learned off the cheap keyboard.

 

- When I realized he could actually read music and wanted to learn classical pieces, we began visiting music stores which carried sheet music. We sometimes had to travel a couple of hours to find one, but it was worth it. He (and our other dc) would sit and sort through music, finding things they wanted to play. I helped by pointing out pieces I liked, but they made the final decisions.

 

- He made many charts for himself using 'how to read music' books. He began with a full, piano-size, cardboard replica of the keyboard - labeled with the names of the keys - and went from there.

 

- He carried and played his smallish keyboard everywhere we went - outside, in the car, in the shop, etc.

 

- We bought CD's of classical music for all of us to listen to. We also began listening to classical music on the radio during the day.

 

- I found a timeline on the net of the composers to use when listening to the music. Cemented the periods (Classical, Baroque, Romantic, etc.) in all our dc's minds. Here is one example. Here is another.

 

- Free concerts. Local colleges often have concerts for free or very cheap. Some towns also have them. Great for actually seeing professionals in real life vs hearing them on CD's all the time.

 

- We bought a variety of instruments so our dc could apply what they'd learned to different things. All our dc play something, to varying degrees, no lessons.

 

 

We also discovered something else recently that I would have loved to have known years ago. A large, nearby university (not private) has tons and tons of classical music which we can check out for free. We got cards (free) and can reserve music from home. Dh picks it up for dc on his lunch hour(s). Our dc have about 15 different (thick) books of music checked out at the moment. Each person can check out up to 50 books, and the loan period is 30 days and we can renew them 4 times, unless someone has reserved them. The books look hardly used. We can also check out up to 10 CD's for a period of 30 days and renew those up to 4 times.

 

I have insisted that all our dc at least be able to read music (which they do). And they don't have a choice when it comes to listening since we play the radio off and on during the day.

 

HTH

Edited April 28, 2010 by ksva

[5parkers]

I would definitaly wait until she wants to do lessons on her own. I thought all 3 of my kids should play an instrument- first they did piano, then guitar, in the end it is only my 3rd who really wants to play the piano- and is willing! Sure makes it a whole lot easier!!:)

[musicianmom]

Here's my out-of-the-box idea:

 

Take her to a music store where they sell piano instruction books and sheet music. Give her $20, tell her to pick out some piano music, and let her wander in the store by herself for a half hour or so. See what happens.

 

If nothing comes of it, you've only wasted about the cost of 1 or 2 lessons.

[babs]

I have forced them to play and will let them stop after Book 3 in Suzuki. There are times that they express a desire to not practice, but they have gotten to a level that allows them to really enjoy the piano. If we had quit early on, they would not have gotten to this important level. It is part of their education.

 

They often play for others - we even frequent nursing homes to play for the folks there. I never make them show off for my own satisfaction. But, THEY will call their grandparents to play for them. They are proud of what they have accomplished. I am sure as they enter HS they will get busy and not play as much, but they will have the foundation that will allow them to come back to it later.

 

I also forced vegetables upon them...they eat them and enjoy them now - a wide variety. Perhaps forcing them to do this set the stage for piano!

 

HTH

[I talk to the trees]

We required our dd to take one year of lessons. At the end of that year, she was free to quit, and she did. Learning basic piano skills and music notation is very much like learning a language. Some will enjoy it and some won't, but in the end, it is beneficial to have that knowledge. Dd is now playing recorder, and will eventually move on to another woodwind. I think pushing her to learn a little bit of piano helped rather than hindered her appreciation of music.

 

FWIW, I'm a musician, and I don't "enjoy" practicing. (Not the daily, noodle around type of practice, but the learn something new and difficult and frustrating type.) I do, however, enjoy the feeling of success when the difficult stuff finally becomes the easy, daily noodles. And I love the high of giving a clean, beautiful performance. Even if I really hated practicing (which I don't), it would be worth the effort in the end.

[Lawana]

So, do I require that she atleast try the lessons for a few months with the hope that it will be something that she realizes is something she likes doing (and promise to let her quit if she doesn't like it) or do I buy her a learn at home program and casually leave it on her bed.

 

 

I'll be the one to say we do require piano lessons. I personally believe that the study of music contributes to brain development as much as say learning math or reading or logic. Therefore, both dc started piano informally with me at 5, and then transitioned to a "real" teacher at 7, when they seemed developmentally ready to read music. They know that they are required to continue through high school. Dd loves piano, but without the strcture of lessons would not be self motivated to progress much on her own. Dd loves to perform, and seeks out occasions to do so. Ds tolerates piano, though it is clear he has very good aptitude, and is progressing rapidly. He is finding out the social benefit of playing- impressing girls, for example;). I have promised him that after continuing classical lessons through middle school age, he may switch to a Jazz instructor for high school.

 

That probably doesn't help with your particular situation, however, so I think what you will need to do is decide what your goals for her are. If it is not important to *you* that she learn to read music, then maybe just leave her be. If, however, you think it would benefit her enjoyment to be able to read music and develop technique, then maybe a bribe is in order. At least until she can see that there may be something in it for her. I hope you work it out.

[MeaganS]

My parents required all six of their kids to take piano lessons. There were times when each of us had zero interest, but my mother wanted us to all be able to play our church's hymns. Once we were at a level where we could do that, we could quit. All of us enjoy playing now, because we're good enough to be able to play things that we want to. I plan on requiring all my children to learn to play, at least to a certain level.

[Brindee]

We required our children to take piano lessons through 8th grade. Once they finished 8th grade they could choose to quit. Our ds16 quit after 8th. He was a very mechanical player. He loved the theory books, but didn't care much for playing piano. He is "other" inclined. DS18 chose to continue lessons until he went to a Christian Boarding Highschool as a Junior. They did not offer piano lessons, so he took choir, which he very much enjoyed. Now he's in college, and doesn't feel he has time for piano lessons. When he's home, though, he'll sit at the piano and play. He has a HUGE musical talent. Even when he was 13/14 he would memorize the piano piece as quickly as he could. Then he'd tinker a bit, and soon was playing it in a different key. He could do this with back and Mozart pieces, hymns, anything he learned, once he had it memorized he could play it in any key. DD will be in 9th grade next year and is wanting to continue piano. She has a good amount of talent, and does very well. She's played for church, and enjoys piano a lot.

 

We told the kids that piano was just like any other schoolwork, like math and sciend: It's required. None of them had a problem with that. Kids don't love math, but they need to stick with it and advance. It was the same for piano.

 

It worked here because there was no other option. They accepted it as part of their curriculum, and did it. I think it helped them tremendously! It's a great discipline!

 

 

How does your dd do with her schoolwork? Is it different than how she feels about lessons?

[Gooblink]

I think she's musically inclined, too, based on what you've written.

 

My oldest was the same way. As much as it PAINED me when he refused my tutoring or an outside teacher, I quietly gave him an adult beginning piano course book and said, "Here, you might find this helpful," and left him to follow at his own pace.

 

He's now taking (real) violin lessons and loving it. When I asked him if he'd like to take the summer off, he adamantly refused.

 

Although I do insist my kids learn to read music and find their way around the keyboard, I decided to not push them to formal lessons until they ask.

 

Maybe you can find her an inexpensive CD course or a beginning course book and let her play with it. She'll probably get to the end and ask for either formal lessons or a more advanced course.

[myfunnybunch]

We require music lessons as a part of school.

 

However, in your dd's situation, I would not require lessons. She's at an age/stage where she's finding her own interests and passions, and pushing might be counter-productive.

 

You might ask around for recommendations for a teacher who would work well with a music student like your dd who needs lots of time to experiment and work on her own, and see if you could do a sample lesson with that teacher so that your dd gets a feel for what lessons would really be like. Then let her decide and genuinely support her decision.

 

Either way, I'd invest in a good piano book for home and let her try it out at her own pace.

 

Cat

[5LittleMonkeys]

How does your dd do with her schoolwork? Is it different than how she feels about lessons?

 

She does all of her schoolwork without complaint (most of the time) but she pretty much does what is "required" and rarely goes above and beyond. I think this is why I wonder if I should "require" she take lessons at least on a trial basis. Someone else mentioned that their dc says no to everything so she requires he atleast try things and then a lot of times he realizes he likes it. This is my dd with everything in her life.

 

She had an old keyboard before we bought this new one but she didn't want it in the beginning. In fact on Christmas day she admitted to me how disappointed she was that the new keyboard was her main present. She didn't even touch it for a whole week until I told her I was going to let her sister use it and I would replace it with something she wanted. She started playing it then and took off. She told me shortly after that it was actually the best present she has ever gotten. She is passionate about horses but said no when I asked her if she wanted lessons. I signed her up and made her go and now she loves it.

 

I don't expect her to be a professional musician just like I don't expect her to ride horses for a living but I do like my dc to nurture things they are passionate about. (Have you ever met people who have no interests or hobbies; nothing they are passionate about? Uuhhgg...what a boring existence.) But being children they don't always know best how to do that. Isn't it my responsibility to provide them with the opportunities to pursue those interests that could turn into lifelong passions?

 

I am really on the fence with this. I agree with those that say to not force lessons but to perhaps give her the tools to teach herself but then I also know my daughter and am pretty sure that if I don't make it a requirement she'll never know if it could have been a lifelong love or not.

 

You've all given me good responses and I like hearing the opposing points of view...I'd like to hear more!

[Hillary in KS]

Piano lessons are mandatory here. It's just part of school, and I schedule practice times into our day. No one fusses about it any more than they might fuss about other things, but it's never been a problem.

 

We feel that musical education is important. So, as part of our school, everyone starts on the piano. If they want to learn another instrument, they may. But they must wait until their piano teacher tells me she thinks they are ready for it. At that point, they can either switch to another instrument, or add something in.

 

My oldest son is studying both piano and acoustic guitar. My middle son is studying piano, and is nearly ready to add drums. My youngest son is in kindergarten and is just beginning his piano studies.

[JudoMom]

She does all of her schoolwork without complaint (most of the time) but she pretty much does what is "required" and rarely goes above and beyond. I think this is why I wonder if I should "require" she take lessons at least on a trial basis. Someone else mentioned that their dc says no to everything so she requires he atleast try things and then a lot of times he realizes he likes it. This is my dd with everything in her life.

 

She had an old keyboard before we bought this new one but she didn't want it in the beginning. In fact on Christmas day she admitted to me how disappointed she was that the new keyboard was her main present. She didn't even touch it for a whole week until I told her I was going to let her sister use it and I would replace it with something she wanted. She started playing it then and took off. She told me shortly after that it was actually the best present she has ever gotten. She is passionate about horses but said no when I asked her if she wanted lessons. I signed her up and made her go and now she loves it.

 

I don't expect her to be a professional musician just like I don't expect her to ride horses for a living but I do like my dc to nurture things they are passionate about. (Have you ever met people who have no interests or hobbies; nothing they are passionate about? Uuhhgg...what a boring existence.) But being children they don't always know best how to do that. Isn't it my responsibility to provide them with the opportunities to pursue those interests that could turn into lifelong passions?

 

I am really on the fence with this. I agree with those that say to not force lessons but to perhaps give her the tools to teach herself but then I also know my daughter and am pretty sure that if I don't make it a requirement she'll never know if it could have been a lifelong love or not.

 

You've all given me good responses and I like hearing the opposing points of view...I'd like to hear more!

 

I would require a trial period. She might dislike it (like she thinks she will), or she might love it. If she doesn't try, though, she'll never know. I think requiring lessons and a bit of discomfort is a better option than not requiring lessons and perhaps missing a wonderful, lifelong skill.

[qfbrenda]

We told the kids that piano was just like any other schoolwork, like math and sciend: It's required. None of them had a problem with that. Kids don't love math, but they need to stick with it and advance. It was the same for piano.

 

It worked here because there was no other option. They accepted it as part of their curriculum, and did it. I think it helped them tremendously! It's a great discipline!

 

I'm obviously in the minority, but this is how we have approached piano. It's just another subject. None of my boys would have chosen to learn to play, but they are all very good at it. My 3rd son never chooses to do anything new without some forcing, so if I left it up to him he would learn very little in life. It really is ok to push people sometimes. I hope someday they thank us for forcing them to learn to play. :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm not saying that's the correct approach for your daughter, but it has worked for us.

[Heather in OK]

Yes, absolutely. All of my children will learn to play and read music. I play piano and violin so I will be teaching them (as soon as we move and I can get my piano tuned!!).

[usetoschool]

Yep, all of my kids learn to play the piano. When they reach a certain age or ability or the end of a book and it is obvious they aren't really into it or have a particular talent for it I let them stop. I do believe music helps thinking and brain development which is why it is required. I have one who has continued and it pretty talented and another coming up that may have the same ability but the other two received the benefit even if they didn't continue.

 

Also - piano is a skill as much as a talent and your daughter may find out that when she knows the rules and understands how music works she might like playing even more.

 

I have a student I homeschool who comes from a musically talented family but she has never had lessons. Even though she can figure things out it makes my daughter crazy to listen to her noodle around because she really doesn't understand timing or chords or anything else and will never really progress or do well because she doesn't have the foundation to build on.

[May]

We required our oldest dd to take piano lessons until she graduated from highschool. We considered it part of her education. Our youngest is still taking violin lessons and will continue until she graduates. Again, just part of her education. The goal is that they would use their gifts in our church.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I would require a trial period. She might dislike it (like she thinks she will), or she might love it. If she doesn't try, though, she'll never know. I think requiring lessons and a bit of discomfort is a better option than not requiring lessons and perhaps missing a wonderful, lifelong skill.

:iagree:

 

 

Also - piano is a skill as much as a talent and your daughter may find out that when she knows the rules and understands how music works she might like playing even more.

:iagree::iagree:

 

I am definitely leaning on this side of the fence...these are thoughts out of my own mind.

[IsabelC]

I would respectfully disagree with some of the points made by those in favor of 'requiring' piano or other music lessons.

 

First, those who were made to do piano as kids and now enjoy it, how do you know that you wouldn't have taken it up on your own, in your own time, if you hadn't been made to do it then? Not many people start at 20, 30, 40 or later and become professionals, but many start playing for pleasure (and service) at later ages.

 

Second, what about the opportunity costs of doing piano as a school subject? It is not true to say that if they give it up after a year, there's no harm done. In the worst case, they may be put off music for years. In the best case, they have still used up hours and hours of time that could have been employed doing something else. Almost any activity, and certainly not least piano playing, has some value. But it's only worth doing if it represents the best possible use of that time.

 

 

Third, regarding this

I would require a trial period. She might dislike it (like she thinks she will), or she might love it. If she doesn't try, though, she'll never know. I think requiring lessons and a bit of discomfort is a better option than not requiring lessons and perhaps missing a wonderful, lifelong skill.it's true that if a child doesn't try piano, she'll never know whether she likes it.

and similar comments. That is very true, but what about the thousands of other musical instruments - and millions of other activities - that she doesn't try? What if she's so busy learning piano that she misses a lifetime of happy wobble-boarding? :lol:

 

I guess a lot of it comes down to individual values and beliefs around the extent to which a parent ought to choose for a child, and I accept that others will have many different opinions on this. (Personally I consider piano highly desirable, but not so essential that I would force my children to do it.) It also revolves around how we define 'pushing' and how much pushing we know our children want or need. Obviously some kids will be more self starting than others. Likewise, what would be a violation of the child's rights to one parents might simply be firm guidance to another, and what would be 'too pushy' to me might constitute strong encouragement to you.

 

So I say go with what feels right for you, based on what you know about your daughter.

 

But if, after more reflection, you find that piano playing is more important for you than it is for your dd, why not take lessons yourself? (Or play more often, if you already have the skill.) That's what I'm going to do if none of my kids stay interested in it ;)

[NanceXToo]

Ugh, no. That's likely to make her decide she hates music/piano/whatever. It's just too controlling IMHO. I mean kids already "have" to do school, chores, errands, etc., now we have to force their interests on them, too, tell them what they HAVE to do in their spare time- even if they don't want to? She IS an individual, let her make the choice. Maybe when she's older she'll decide to do something with her natural talent. Maybe she won't. But there is no reason something like that shouldn't be her own choice and develop naturally. Heck, it already IS developing naturally if she's starting to play on her own- don't squash that by making it feel like it isn't her choice or that she has to rebel or that it's no longer fun. Just let her know that lessons will be available to her if/when she wants them, that you think she has a natural talent, (even reassure her that she can do lessons on a trial period of she wants and that you will not force her to continue if she doesn't want to) and then let it go.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I haven't read all the responses, but I do not force my kids to take any kind of lessons. I encourage them to sign up for stuff if it interests them. I was forced to take piano lessons for 7 years, and I can't really play the piano at all. I do not have natural musical ability.

 

I think I would keep encouraging your daughter to consider lessons, but I wouldn't force her.

[Shifra]

You may want to check out the book Play Piano in a Flash for Kids! by Scott Houston (his website is www.scotthouston.com). It's a really good self-teaching book for kids who want to play non-classical music and using "fake" books. If your daughter is really balking about taking piano lessons, this book may help her figure out on her own how to play simple songs.

[Sweetpeach]

Our kids will all have piano lessons until they return to public school. I see it as part of their overall education. Yes, piano is mandatory at our house.

[Donna]

I wanted each of my kids to be able to play some instrument but allowed each to decide which instrument they wanted to play. My dd began picking out tunes on the piano before beginning violin lessons but when asked if she wanted piano lessons she declined and said she's rather learn violin...she was only 2yo at the time but I respected her choice.

 

I was forced to take piano lessons. I wanted to initially because my mother was taking lessons at the time but I didn't like to practice and would have loved to learn a different instrument...harp but wasn't allowed. I disliked performing in front of others but was made to accompany the high school chorus. I only play now to help dd learn her violin music and very occassional pick out a piece to play on my own.

[catz]

Music lessons are mandatory at our house. My son takes Suzuki piano and is in book 4. He started at 5 1/2. My daughter is in Suzuki violin late book 1 and she started at age 4. I think it's good to know your own child and their personalities. I consider music part of school here. I would LOVE for them both to continue until high school grad, but if they come to me as teenagers wanting to pursue a different performance art, I would be ok with it.

 

I have kids that do not willingly pursue challenge and I do think kids like this do need to be forced occasionally. Piano for my son has changed the way he approaches learning new things in general and has made him more open to try new things. That is a skill that goes well beyond piano. He knows how practice leads to success. He is very accomplished now and generally loves it. He loves performing. He wasn't like that a couple years ago though. The challenge for my younger right now is still building a practice habit. These are skills that can be learned many ways. But for my kids who have a very easy time at academics, music is a great outlet. I don't think it's for every kid or family, but can be a great outlet for some kids.

 

I don't think it's unreasonable to tell your child you'd like her to try a year of lessons. Maybe even set out an incentive program if that might work for her. I have used that at different stages for my kids when they need it. My younger is collecting beads while she practices in exchange for a small toy when she reaches 100.

[Nestof3]

I am requiring my boys to take piano lessons right now. They've gone for almost a year. I don't know how long I will require them to take them -- maybe another year. I don't think they would learn well unless they had the accountability from their teacher, and I think they really value her praise.

 

They're not thrilled about it, but they don't put up a big fight either. Sometimes they actually enjoy it.

[Mom-ninja.]

I have my kids start piano at age 5 before they have an opinion about it. :001_smile:

 

I make piano lessons mandatory in the early years. I feel that music is important for brain development.

 

When my children are older they may chose to stop. Of course I'd like for them to continue.

 

In your case, since your dd is older, I would not force lessons. She's old enough to decide.

[Penelope]

I am requiring my kids to take instrument lessons for a minimum of two years. So far I haven't had to share this requirement with them, because the ones old enough have asked for lessons.

 

It doesn't have to be a certain instrument.

 

I think it helps to have a musical parent or other close family member. Maybe it would help if you as a mom decided to learn the basics, if you don't know them, and she'd possibly become more interested that way.

 

Another thing is that a keyboard is so different from a piano, even a digital piano. That may or may not affect interest level, but it quickly will affect how far someone can progress on the piano.

[Britomart]

My kids aren't old enough for me to be able to answer this from experience yet, but I wanted to share something I saw back when I took karate.

 

One of the adult black belts in our school had a son and a daughter taking the classes too. And his policy was that if they wanted to do karate, they had to commit to it until they got their next belt. So, when they started, he made them commit to doing it till they got their yellow belts. Then, once they got their yellow belts, they could quit if they wanted, but if they wanted to go on, they had to commit to continuing till they got their orange belts. And so on.

 

They both got their black belts, in the end.

 

I'm leaning towards doing something like this with my kids, when we get to piano in a year or two. I'll probably require the first couple of books, but then I'll let them decide after they finish each one. But if they want to keep going, they'll have to commit each time for an whole other book (or whatever a good marker in piano is).

 

What I saw, in karate, was that this deal kept the kids from quitting when it got to the super-boring, hard-slog, middle portion of learning things. And inclined them to make a favorable decision because they had to make their decision when they were experiencing the high of triumphing over the last level. Didn't force them, but stacked the deck that way, you know? I'm hoping I can copy my acquaintance and use his technique as well as he did!

[Debbie in OR]

We required our ds to take it for a year, after which he could quit if he wanted. He quit after 18 months but now wants to play the drums.

 

Our dd begged for lessons and now that she's been doing them for 9 months, she wants to quit and do the violin. Because it was her idea to take lessons, we are requiring her to do two years before she can start the violin.

 

We have a friend whose dd hates lessons and practicing and she told her dd that if dd could find 5 adults who have no regrets about not continuing their piano lessons, she would let dd quit. So far, she has only found one (my dh, of all people :glare:) I think we are going to use this with our dd. :001_smile:

[musicmommy]

The boys all study piano with me and they all are required to pick another instrument to learn. They don't argue with it at all though. Maybe I'd choose differently if they put up a fuss? Practice is a part of their regular schedule for the day. When they get to that notecard, they set the timer and start to practice with some input from me as needed.

 

I use piano because it is basically the ultimate music manipulative. It's so easy to teach theory using the piano. At some point, I will let them quit, but we're no where near that point yet.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I'm another one in the "piano lessons required" camp. Not to create musical prodigies or for an identified talent but because I feel that musical instruction is important for the ideas Lawana mentioned. I started my kids somewhere somewhere between 6 and 10, certainly after they could read well. I am not qualified to provide musical instruction (didn't have an opportunity for lessons and the music classes in school were a joke) so the best way for me to provide it is with outside lessons. We are fortunate to have found teachers who understand my goals and are not trying to create prodigies. Lessons are fun, low-key, but they learn a lot. In the beginning, I had to encourage practice, but it was treated like part of school. Most of the time, I don't need to remind them to practice.

 

My oldest likes to play for personal enjoyment. He often plays when he gets stuck on a school assignment. It helps him clear his head. He's not willing to work hard enough for a piece to be "perfect", but he is a pleasure to listen to. My middle son (who can't stand to have music playing in the house) shocked me and recently asked for guitar lessons. When I told him he had to finish his theory workbook first, he buckled down and got it done. So, I am off looking for lessons for him. DD wants to play violin, to which I gave the same reply ... get some theory down first, than I will look into it.

[mom2jjka]

Sort of - In the beginning both of my oldest two really wanted to play piano. when it got more difficult, DS wanted to quit. I wouldn't let him..so in that sense I guess it is mandatory. He admits that he does enjoy being able to play - he just doesn't like practicing.

[Kfamily]

I guess you might say we require piano but I'm not sure it fits into that box so neatly. My older dd continues to play and take lessons. I think there are many days where she would rather not, but there are also many days where she is very proud of the accomplishments she has gained and enjoys music in general. She loves to play her pieces (which she generally has picked out herself-her fabulous teacher plays many selections for her and then she picks out her favorites) when she has them well-developed (as in past the difficult stage of learning the base of the piece). So while she doesn't enjoy the practice and the work it takes to learn a piece she does love the results.

My younger dd enjoys all aspects of playing but like any 7 year-old there are times and days when she would rather not practice. To me this has so much to do with character development. I think it is very important for them to learn to work hard at something, no matter how convenient it would be sometimes to let it slide unattended, and stay with it until the mastery has been obtained...very valuble lessons here.

My older dd has some serious issues with practice in any area and sticking with the piano is one way we can address this. I love that playing the piano also fills in some gaps for our family. As homeschoolers our girls miss out on some challenges that children who attend school may have. There are many ways to fill these gaps and playing the piano accomplishes several for us. The girls learn from another teacher (and develop a relationship with her), learn to deal with frustration, learn to stick with something when it is so hard to keep repeating it, learn to play/present themselves in front of others and learn to give (I remind my girls how much listening to the piano/music brings beauty into the lives of others...this is a gift they can give to someone else).

But this is just my own opinion...

Edited July 7, 2010 by Kfamily

[Aggie]

If you find a great teacher, I think lessons will draw her into music! We have a young, enthusiastic teacher who is working on her MFA in piano performance. She has lit a fire under our dds. These were girls who reluctantly played and practiced, and now sit down to play for pleasure. The music selections are challenging, beautiful, and definitely pieces we wouldn't have known about otherwise.

 

There is so much to be gained by music lessons. There is a direct correlation between brain development and playing an instrument or dancing. Playing well gives a student confidence and a sense of achievement. Performing, even for a small home audience, builds that confidence.

 

Sure, these could be achieved by other methods, but since she is interested in piano, why not use this time and energy to expand her horizons? Find a *good* enthusiastic teacher...don't be afraid to interview a few, get several recommendations, even have a trial lesson or two.

 

From your description of your dd, I really think (but what do I know?!) she'll thrive with a great teacher and LOVE the piano even more!

 

IME, if y'all decide to not have her take lessons, it'll be something she regrets later in life. Very few adults I know regret having lessons as a child. Most regret not taking longer, having quit too early, and not practicing enough as a child.

 

So, yes...lessons! =)

[Nestof3]

I agree. Daisychics introduced us to our piano teacher, and I am so grateful for that! She is so positive with the boys. She keeps a practice chart, and if they practice at least five times a week, they get to choose a composer head or a trophy. She also has recitals every 1-2 months, and she has them perform at assisted living facilities. They participate in guild auditions twice a year.

 

She also had a pizza party where she showed Beethoven Lives Upstairs. Ben was disappointed because she didn't show Mr. Bach Comes to Call, so she let us borrow it today.

 

We gave her two books today as a thank you. I would like to keep up this tradition -- perhaps two books per semester as a thank you. She has children's composer and music books displayed in her waiting room.

 

We gave her:

 

Secret World of Hildegaard

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0439507391/ref=oss_product

 

 

and

 

I, Vivaldi

http://www.amazon.com/I-Vivaldi-Janice-Shefelman/dp/0802853188/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278560258&sr=1-1

 

Next semester, we plan to give her a couple of Opal Wheeler books.

If you find a great teacher, I think lessons will draw her into music! We have a young, enthusiastic teacher who is working on her MFA in piano performance. She has lit a fire under our dds. These were girls who reluctantly played and practiced, and now sit down to play for pleasure. The music selections are challenging, beautiful, and definitely pieces we wouldn't have known about otherwise.

 

There is so much to be gained by music lessons. There is a direct correlation between brain development and playing an instrument or dancing. Playing well gives a student confidence and a sense of achievement. Performing, even for a small home audience, builds that confidence.

 

Sure, these could be achieved by other methods, but since she is interested in piano, why not use this time and energy to expand her horizons? Find a *good* enthusiastic teacher...don't be afraid to interview a few, get several recommendations, even have a trial lesson or two.

 

From your description of your dd, I really think (but what do I know?!) she'll thrive with a great teacher and LOVE the piano even more!

 

IME, if y'all decide to not have her take lessons, it'll be something she regrets later in life. Very few adults I know regret having lessons as a child. Most regret not taking longer, having quit too early, and not practicing enough as a child.

 

So, yes...lessons! =)

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Yes, definitely. I require all my kids to take 3 years of piano. After that, they can switch instruments, or add another one, but they must study at least one instrument until high school. They can choose at that point whether or not they want to make music part of their life. My older two kids are proficient musicians, and will always be able to make music.

 

My 14yodd added guitar to her piano after about five years. She plays piano beautifully, and I'm sure she will continue it as long as she is able (time-wise). She takes guitar lessons, but she only plays it in her room, so I hardly ever hear her. She writes music down there, and she sings along to her guitar. I'm happy to have a well rounded musician in her.

 

My 12yods never cared for piano, but learned enough of the theory and concepts that I let him drop it after 3 years. He switched to guitar and took off like a prodigy. I'm sure his piano training helped him tremendously. It was like he was born to play guitar. He loves it, and amazes seasoned guitarists with his skill at such a young age. He can still sit at the piano and play his old stuff, but he doesn't do it very often. I don't push him at all on the piano anymore. That knowledge is stored in him somewhere, and he'll be able to access it when he needs it.

[Nestof3]

I wanted to add that I wish I had taken lessons. We just bought a full-size digital piano, and I am considering learning with my boys' books.

[Terabith]

Well, at your dd's age and stage, I wouldn't require it. It sounds like you would be requiring it because she seems to have talent. It could come across as almost "punishing success." I'd let her pick out music, and tell her if she changes her mind, to let you know.

 

However, I'm somewhat psychotic about two things: music and swimming. My kids do music, literally, from birth. In addition to me consciously singing a variety of lullabies, bouncing songs, and the like with them, they were involved in first Music Together and then Musikgarten. I am insisting that they finish the Musikgarten program through the three year keyboard class and then study an instrument at least through 8th grade. In addition, they must sing in a choir. Musical competence and proficiency in both singing and an instrument are required as part of "Mom's beliefs about what makes a well rounded human being." Neither of my kids are all that talented musically, but they are making progress. For what it's worth, I spent my childhood being told I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but my junior high required us to take either choir or band in seventh grade. Choir was a lesser committment, so I took that. Our teacher took me under her wing, for no reason I can come up with, and I actually learned to sing. Not like professional quality, and my musical skills are pretty lousy in general, but it has been the most valuable and meaningful skill I acquired in school. Period. I use it EVERY day.

 

I'm likewise not a great swimmer, but my rule is you have to be in swimming until you can swim 250 meters. We start pretty much at birth, too.

[mktkcb]

well, I'm a bit in both camps. When my oldest was younger, we didn't have a keyboard, but we did lots of listening to good music and both my girls learned some recorder in our little co-op. We worked with what we had. As youngest ds grew it became increasingly evident that he was very gifted musically. But not very mature. I put him in kindermusik for awhile before I seriously looked for a teacher for him. I chewed my fingernails over that kid...it was really hard to wait till he was mature enough because he was just SO naturally musical. He was almost 8 when he began taking piano. He still isn't incredibly mature. In all areas he is prone to giving up on things when they get hard. Typical perfectionist with a low frustration tolerance. In a nutshell: I make him continue. Music is quite literally an integral part of his innermost being....he can't help but make music. He has happy moments, and moments when he would ditch it all in a heartbeat. I've told him he can quit when he finishes level 10 (highest level) of Certificate of Merit in piano. At that point, he'll have the skills to do whatever he wants to musically. In the meantime, dd #2 begged for a year to take violin, which I let her start at age 13. She's had moments of wanting to quit, but I've encouraged her to stick it out. She is 17 now, and hopefully will be in orchestra for the first time this fall (her senior year). She's the one I have to kick into things for her to find out she likes it. I have never made oldest dd take any lessons. She began learning keyboard on her own about 2 years ago. She took a theory class at cc and really enjoyed it. She is very analytical/engineering minded, and very self motivated and responsible. I always felt like I needed to respect her request to not take lessons. So...different kids, different rules. There ya go.

[zaichiki]

do I buy her a learn at home program and casually leave it on her bed.

 

Yes! Do this. She may just want to teach herself right now. She can always change her mind at some point.

 

If she doesn't want lessons, I wouldn't force her.

 

I don't come from a musical family -- though some of my cousins do play musical instruments. Maybe that's why I don't see the ability to read and play music as being an integral part of a good education? Growing up I saw those who *wanted* to learn being the ones who took lessons. Most of us just didn't. (shrug)

 

My kids do play instruments. The first two asked for lessons day after day after day for months. The third has just started to play the cello, but I'm not sure how much was his interest and how much was just "follow the leader" IYKWIM. He doesn't seem as obsessed with it as my older two were when they were younger. If he asks to discontinue the lessons we will. It's just too expensive and too time consuming to force it on him.