A question for church-goers (church attire question)

[creekland]

I don't give the "too poor to own a dress" argument. I give the "I don't want to wear a dress and I don't think Jesus cares," argument. In our house we have "church" clothes. They just happen to be our nice jeans and our nice shirts. :D

 

Here's how I see it. I'm most comfortable with myself in jeans and a nice shirt. I'm most self-conscious in a dress. So am I going to church to worship Jesus or worry about how I look the whole time?

 

 

 

I'm with you. I absolutely hate wearing dresses or skirts, so why would I want to wear one to church? It's just not me... God knows this. He created me this way!

 

I'd never be a regular attender at a church where I felt the need to wear a dress or skirt. We never go to restaurants (or other things) where I would need to either. I'm thankful to live in a country where casual is more normal than not!

[Daisy]

Then I was not addressing you and I don't see the need for sarcasm.

 

I'm sorry I ruffled your feathers. I was trying to be light-hearted rather than sarcastic but I guess it didn't translate. As a preacher's kid, I grew up with a lot of legalism when it comes to appearance.

 

I don't think it is our place to make value statements about what people can or cannot afford to wear to church or even what they *choose* to wear to church. It just isn't that important. No sarcasm.

[OnTheBrink]

Men wear anything from nice jeans and polos to full suits and ties. Women wear anything from nice pants/jeans and tops to dresses and heels. The pastors wear suits; most of the time the elders do. The ones who are doing the prayer that week wear suits, and they wear suits if it's a communion Sunday.

 

ETA: I pretty much agree with the sentiment that God is more interested in one's heart than one's clothing, but sometimes, one's heart can be revealed by one's clothing.

Edited April 20, 2010 by OnTheBrink

[mommaduck]

I don't really buy the 'too poor to own a dress' argument. There are many, many people in our church who have very little. I know women who have worn pretty much the same one or two outfits to church for a long time. The outfits may well have come from a thrift store or Walmart, or they may be hand-me-downs. But in this country, where clothes are cheap and plentiful and very few people are actually starving, it is not impossible to find one skirt to wear on a Sunday.

 

You may believe that, but the reality is that there are those that do not have those clothes, may wish to attend church, but literally every penny goes to something necessary instead of a dress, even a thrift store dress. These people many times will refuse to go to church than to attend and be judged harshly. I'd rather they attend as they are.

[OnTheBrink]

You may believe that, but the reality is that there are those that do not have those clothes, may wish to attend church, but literally every penny goes to something necessary instead of a dress, even a thrift store dress. These people many times will refuse to go to church than to attend and be judged harshly. I'd rather they attend as they are.

 

I found a way around this, sort of. I started a Swap Day at my church. We do it annually. People bring in clothing, books, household items, etc and we set them out on tables. People can come and take whatever they want. It's sort of a church-only freecycle idea. At the end of the day, whatever is left over is taken to Goodwill. A couple of times we've opened it up as "Freecycle Free for All". But, the point is, folks can come and browse and get things they may need or want without having to feel ashamed by asking the church for help with things they might view as less-than-vitally-important.

[dangermom]

I'm sorry I ruffled your feathers. I was trying to be light-hearted rather than sarcastic but I guess it didn't translate. As a preacher's kid, I grew up with a lot of legalism when it comes to appearance.

 

I don't think it is our place to make value statements about what people can or cannot afford to wear to church or even what they *choose* to wear to church. It just isn't that important. No sarcasm.

Sorry, I took it the wrong way I guess.

 

I don't think it's a big deal either way, but on the whole I think it's a good thing to put a little more thought and care into how we dress for formal worship. Not because God needs us to, but because perhaps we need to remember that it's an important thing we're doing and worth putting some care into. It's a special part of the week, and deserves special treatment IMO.

[dangermom]

I found a way around this, sort of. I started a Swap Day at my church. We do it annually. People bring in clothing, books, household items, etc and we set them out on tables. People can come and take whatever they want. It's sort of a church-only freecycle idea. At the end of the day, whatever is left over is taken to Goodwill. A couple of times we've opened it up as "Freecycle Free for All". But, the point is, folks can come and browse and get things they may need or want without having to feel ashamed by asking the church for help with things they might view as less-than-vitally-important.

We've also done this and it's been great.

[Hockey Mom]

If you would dress up to visit a monarch here on earth, why wouldn't you dress up when visiting the King of Kings? :confused:

 

 

 

Because it doesn't matter to God. He made Adam and Eve naked after all. ;) I'm not in my Sunday finest when I'm spending time at home with God, why should I be in my 'Sunday best' at church? Do you make sure your hair and nails are perfectly polished when you say your prayers at night or in the morning? How is going to church any different?

 

 

 

I don't really buy the 'too poor to own a dress' argument. There are many, many people in our church who have very little. I know women who have worn pretty much the same one or two outfits to church for a long time. The outfits may well have come from a thrift store or Walmart, or they may be hand-me-downs. But in this country, where clothes are cheap and plentiful and very few people are actually starving, it is not impossible to find one skirt to wear on a Sunday.

 

I think this is a pretty prideful thing to assert. Yes, there are in fact people too poor to buy a thrift-store dress. And many homeless people dress for convenience (they dress for the elements) rather than style. It wouldn't make sense for them to carry around a 'Sunday dress' when it isn't practical for them.

 

I don't give the "too poor to own a dress" argument. I give the "I don't want to wear a dress and I don't think Jesus cares," argument. In our house we have "church" clothes. They just happen to be our nice jeans and our nice shirts. :D

 

Here's how I see it. I'm most comfortable with myself in jeans and a nice shirt. I'm most self-conscious in a dress. So am I going to church to worship Jesus or worry about how I look the whole time?

 

Jesus, you know, the fisherman? The guy who had dirty dusty sandals and hung out on hillsides chit-chatting with normal people? Somehow I'm thinking he cares a whole lot more about the state of a person's heart then whether they are in jeans or a dress. As a matter of fact one could argue that the people he slammed the most were the ones with fancy china tea-cup outsides and dirty rings inside.

 

:iagree:

 

You may believe that, but the reality is that there are those that do not have those clothes, may wish to attend church, but literally every penny goes to something necessary instead of a dress, even a thrift store dress. These people many times will refuse to go to church than to attend and be judged harshly. I'd rather they attend as they are.

 

:iagree:

 

 

There is a pastor of a mega-church in South Carolina named Perry Noble. He had this great analogy regarding our dress and worship in church. He likened it to an office bathroom. Someone has a bowel movement, and in order to cover up the smell, they spray air freshener. Only, now it smells like lavender-scented crap instead of just crap. That's what it's like to God when people pretend to be holier than they are. You're in church in your "Sunday best", singing songs of worship, and to God, it just smells like lavender-scented crap. And that's because you roll around in sin all week (pride and vanity are sins too - I know, because I struggle with those two the most!), smelling like crap to God, then try to "freshen" up with your outward appearance.

 

He tells the analogy much better than I do (and a little more bluntly than I did here).

 

The point is, church is supposed to be about Him - not you. What you wear is irrelevant (unless you are dressing in a way that causes disruption). To be prideful of your appearance in God's house (of ALL places) is still sinful to God. And assuming those who are down on their luck have "no excuse" to own a dress, is pretty judgmental and goes against everything Jesus died for.

[Supertechmom]

At our church, there is no dress code. Some women wear dresses; no men wear ties. Younger people can be really casually dressed. Teens wear shorts, for instance.

 

 

We don't have a dress code either and i wish we did! I told the associate pastor it was growing old to keep talking to my sons about purity and modesty and then take them to church of all places where only when the women stood up could you tell they had clothes on. (all strapless!) OR WORSE!! When they stood up, you could see the rounds of their butt cheeks swaying to the music. :001_huh: I KID YOU NOT! And that runs from young teen girls to old cougars!

 

For some reason that bothers me greatly in church. I don't know why. I know that's my hang up and do my best to simply get over it. IF I ran into them at the store, it wouldn't bother me (other than their butt hanging out LOL!) but I just can't take it in church. It just doesn't seem right. :D I just try harder to be gracious and not show how irritated that makes me and welcome them warmly. Though the girl that wore her two piece to church with a cover up over it because she was going to the lake after it did take the cake. She announced it loudly to her friends. (and we are not near a lake nor near the coast where one sees that type of dress on Sundays) I prayed harder that day to not let my hangup interfere with this girl's church experience. But boy, can it be hard some days!:lol:

 

My crowd personally runs the gamut from "dress up" to "dear God do we have anything clean to wear" ;)

[momof2jb]

Well - I tend to believe that God doesn't care what your wearing - it's just important that you are attending. Now we don't go looking like slobs or anything - but a nice pair of jeans and shirt with a collar is what I require of the boys. I like to put a little effort into what I wear - just b/c it makes me feel good. I usually wear skirts - but then again, I love skirts.

 

This is a great debate at our church - I do agree that some kids wear horrible things to church. Modesty isn't around too much anymore in some of the kids. It is sad that parents let their kids out of the house in some of the outfits - but that is what society creates.

 

Here is a funny - I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. Always said that as long as we were at church it didn't matter what we were wearing. I even went as far as to say " one day I'm gonna wear a tube top and cut offs just because I can". All my girlfriends and family have heard me say this many a time. If someone were to comment to me that it was inappropriate - I'd just remind them Jesus loves the sinners - no matter what! Well - about 5 years ago my youngest sister got married and I was the Matron of Honor. Proud sis I was, and I was going to be doing a reading at the podium that day too. Imagine a beautiful satin attendant gown, lavendar bottoms, white tops. Each of us varied in the tops. Well I got to wear a strapless! Usually I wouldn't do such a thing without a shawl - but for some reason we didn't order one with my dress. It was beautiful and what my sister wanted for me - she is a very modest gal too. You just don't think about these things sometimes. All the others had some sort of sleeve. So I go up to read at the podium and do a great job...blah, blah, blah!

 

Later that evening - my best friend said to me - all I could think about during your reading was "Holy cow, she looks naked up there". We do have several great pics - from the other side all you could see of me was from the chest up. Today we laugh about it - that I did my tube top thing and survived. I will never again think something like that or wear something like that in my place of worship. Imagine how trashy and disrespectful that was to Our Father in heaven! And all the others in the packed congregation that didn't know me as a modest/respectful woman of faith. It had to have taken away from the Word to more than my bff that day. Oh my!

 

Moral: How you dress does affect others around you and distract from the reason we go to church - to worship and pray.

 

Sorry so wordy - but good thread! Serena

[OH_Homeschooler]

I'm not a church-goer anymore but I imagine if I were I would still want to dress up at least a little, like I did growing up Catholic. Going to church in jeans would feel wrong to me, just like many things that go against how I was brought up.

 

But I wanted to share something I learned in a history of religion class in college. It was a survey of American religions. I don't know how true it is, but at the time the professor said that people going to churches in communities where most people are blue-collar workers tend to dress up ("Sunday best"), while people going to churches in more white-collar neighborhoods tend to dress down. The thought was that people basically like to dress differently for church from what they normally wear. From this thread it doesn't sound like that's the case, but maybe it is. An interesting thought, at least.

[sassenach]

We're a come-as-you-are church. I wear jeans and nice shirts. Some people wear dresses or slacks. No one is judged based on their attire.

[ereks mom]

...we have attended others in the past where everyone dressed up. The church we are in now (dh is the pastor) is a church plant, which means that it is a new church being started from scratch to meet an unmet need in the community. We do not have formal worship services -- no Sunday School classes, no program/bulletin to tell you when to stand/sit/sing, etc. Our group is small (usually only about 8-10 people), and we meet in the conference room at dh's office. We have coffee, and we pull our chairs into a circle and we study the Bible and pray together. When ER is home for the weekend, he brings his guitar and leads us in some praise & worship music. If someone visits with little children, we accomodate them the best we can with Bible stories and pictures to color, etc. Obviously, there isn't much need for dressing up in this situation.

 

However, when dh was the pastor at a much larger church, we all dressed up every Sunday. He & ER (who was less than 10yo at the time) wore a suit & tie, and EK & I (just a tot) wore dresses. I have to say that I prefer our church now to our church then -- for a lot of reasons, not just the dress, but that's part of it. IMO, it can get to be all about appearance and not about the spiritual condition of the heart if you're not careful.

[Excelsior! Academy]

I haven't read many of the other posts, but ours is mostly pretty dressy. We do have a mix, though. Most of the little girls wear smocked dresses or tank style dresses in the summer. Shoes are white patten with ruffle socks, although some wear sandles. In the winter its hose with black patten mary janes and hair bows matching their dresses. They look pretty cute. Some of the teenage girls aren't quite as covered. Women wear over the knee length to ankle length skirts. Eldery woman usually wear slacks or long skirts. Men wear suits and ties. Some don't wear jackets, but most wear ties on Sunday morning. The younger our congregation's parents get the less dressy we become. I'm only in my mid-thirties, but I've noticed the 20 somethings seem to wear more slacks or shorter skirts. (I sound old, don't I?:lol:)

[Jugglin'5]

The men wear anything from suit and tie to khakis and polo shirt; teen guys may wear nice jeans or khakis. The women wear dresses, skirts or slacks. I don't remember seeing anyone wear shorts/flip flops to a Sunday morning service. Even on the days when we have something like a picnic afterwards, people change into more casual clothes after the service.

 

 

Same here...though I DO sometimes wear my nice, "dressy" flip-flops, mainly because I have foot issues. Not my first preference, for sure. Most dress shoes rub my feet in the wrong places. so I figure my sparkly flip-flops are dressier than Birkenstocks.:D

[Mrs Mungo]

Our church is very, very casual.

 

Men: jeans, slacks or even dressy shorts with polo shirts, aloha shirts or t-shirts. I don't think I've ever seen anyone in a tie.

 

Women: sundresses, muumuus, skirts, slacks, jeans, capris, dressy shorts, nicer tops or even t-shirts. The Sunday before last the pastor's wife was in jeans and a Tinkerbell t-shirt.

 

Kids are about the same as their adult counterpart.

 

Pastor: jeans or slacks with an untucked button-down shirt, either short-sleeved or with sleeves rolled up.

 

Flip-flops are common for everyone.

 

eta: We've attended dressier churches in other places, but in Hawaii slacks and an Aloha shirt *is* the typical business uniform. When we went to the mayor's office he was in slacks and an Aloha shirt. It just doesn't really *get* any dressier than that. When Steve Demme spoke at the homeschool conference here, he wore a tie the first day. They gave him an aloha shirt to wear instead. :D

Edited April 20, 2010 by Mrs Mungo

[Gretchen in NJ]

We dress to go to church. My girls wear a nice dress or a skirt with a blouse or a dressy sweater. I do the same or sometimes wear dress slacks. My dh wears a suit and tie to Mass. I was always taught that you should have reverence when you attend Mass, and your dress is a reflection of your reverence.

 

We left a church where people dressed too casually. Their dress reflected the Mass. They tended to handle the Host casually and not with the reverence it is do. Going to Mass is not a casual event. IMHO.

[Jugglin'5]

delete - double post

Edited April 20, 2010 by Jugglin'5

[Jugglin'5]

Because it doesn't matter to God. He made Adam and Eve naked after all. ;) I'm not in my Sunday finest when I'm spending time at home with God, why should I be in my 'Sunday best' at church? Do you make sure your hair and nails are perfectly polished when you say your prayers at night or in the morning? How is going to church any different?

 

 

I think this is a pretty prideful thing to assert. Yes, there are in fact people too poor to buy a thrift-store dress. And many homeless people dress for convenience (they dress for the elements) rather than style. It wouldn't make sense for them to carry around a 'Sunday dress' when it isn't practical for them.

 

 

 

There is a pastor of a mega-church in South Carolina named Perry Noble. He had this great analogy regarding our dress and worship in church. He likened it to an office bathroom. Someone has a bowel movement, and in order to cover up the smell, they spray air freshener. Only, now it smells like lavender-scented crap instead of just crap. That's what it's like to God when people pretend to be holier than they are. You're in church in your "Sunday best", singing songs of worship, and to God, it just smells like lavender-scented crap. And that's because you roll around in sin all week (pride and vanity are sins too - I know, because I struggle with those two the most!), smelling like crap to God, then try to "freshen" up with your outward appearance.

 

He tells the analogy much better than I do (and a little more bluntly than I did here).

 

The point is, church is supposed to be about Him - not you. What you wear is irrelevant (unless you are dressing in a way that causes disruption). To be prideful of your appearance in God's house (of ALL places) is still sinful to God.

 

 

You are presenting a false dichotomy. Either dress nicely and be hypocritical, judgmental, and prideful; or dress casually and be none of those bad things.:glare:

 

Most people who dress up for church do it out of a sense of humility, and would never dream of judging someone because they truly couldn't afford a dress, or were new and didn't know better.

 

We can pray in the shower, too, but surely you wouldn't suggest showing up naked? Or in a bikini? Or a clown suit? There are some things appropriate at one's home or in private, that are not appropriate for corporate worship in front of a Holy God.

 

If you are fine with dressing casually for church, good for you. Please don't impugn those of us who believe in dressing somewhat more formally with all sorts of evil motives.

[milovany]

Nearly everyone at our church dresses up when we attend services. Part of the reason is that in our tradition, the main focus of the Sunday service is the preparation of the Eucharist, and it's reception by the communicants, and since we believe this to be the actual Body and Blood of Christ we do see it as being in the presence of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. So in our tradition, of course we'd dress up! And in fact we love doing so. It's all part of the whole-life/holistic worship and devotion we have to our God. If someone can't afford to "dress to the nines" -- well, then they wear the best that they have, right? No big deal. It's the attitude, not the actual clothes.

 

ETA: Dressed up for our family means long skirts, nice shirts, etc. for the girls and nice khakis or very nice jeans and button down shirts for the boys. Not suits/ties -- the nicest that we OWN and can afford; not the nicest thing out there.

Edited April 20, 2010 by milovaný

[Tap]

Our church is very, very much an anything goes type place. But, we usually dress up a bit. Slacks, nice pressed shirt or sweater, dress shoes, etc. Dh doesn't wear a suit or tie, but a very nice shirt or a nice polo shirt at least.

[Hockey Mom]

You are presenting a false dichotomy. Either dress nicely and be hypocritical' date=' judgmental, and prideful; or dress casually and be none of those bad things.:glare: [/quote']

 

My intent was to argue this statement:

 

I don't really buy the 'too poor to own a dress' argument. There are many, many people in our church who have very little. I know women who have worn pretty much the same one or two outfits to church for a long time. The outfits may well have come from a thrift store or Walmart, or they may be hand-me-downs. But in this country, where clothes are cheap and plentiful and very few people are actually starving, it is not impossible to find one skirt to wear on a Sunday.

 

 

Most people who dress up for church do it out of a sense of humility, and would never dream of judging someone because they truly couldn't afford a dress, or were new and didn't know better.

 

I only wish that were the case. Unfortunately, I've seen far too many instances where that wasn't the case. :(

 

We can pray in the shower, too, but surely you wouldn't suggest showing up naked? Or in a bikini? Or a clown suit? There are some things appropriate at one's home or in private, that are not appropriate for corporate worship in front of a Holy God.

 

As I stated earlier, as long as your attire isn't a distraction, you should feel comfortable wearing whatever you want in church. My point was that not everyone can afford the finer 'church clothes', and we shouldn't make them feel alienated because they truly can't afford that dress.

 

If you are fine with dressing casually for church, good for you. Please don't impugn those of us who believe in dressing somewhat more formally with all sorts of evil motives.

 

I never did that. I simply stated that God isn't interested in your dress. He's interested in your heart.

[justamouse]

You may believe that, but the reality is that there are those that do not have those clothes, may wish to attend church, but literally every penny goes to something necessary instead of a dress, even a thrift store dress. These people many times will refuse to go to church than to attend and be judged harshly. I'd rather they attend as they are.

 

 

amen.

[justamouse]

Our parish has a ministry that includes collecting donations of new dress clothes for needy families. All the mom would have to do is swallow her pride and ask for help.

 

If you would dress up to visit a monarch here on earth, why wouldn't you dress up when visiting the King of Kings? :confused:

 

 

Because Jesus hung out at the bars, with the prostitutes and tax collectors and if he were here today he wouldn't care in the least what I wore (Mary or Martha?). That's man's imposed religious rules, have nothing to do with salvation and can be a hindrance to the people who need Christ the most.

 

And many churches have no such ministry so it's not really right to chastise a poor person for not having the humility to get something from goodwill. Swallowing pride. Really. Do you actually KNOW how much pride homeless and poor people swallow on a daily basis? Enough to choke a horse with. But they should swallow more to please who? Not Christ, that's for sure.

Edited April 20, 2010 by justamouse

[Hockey Mom]

Because Jesus hung out at the bars, with the prostitutes and tax collectors and if he were here today he wouldn't care in the least what I wore (Mary or Martha?). That's man's imposed religious rules, have nothing to do with salvation and can be a hindrance to the people who need Christ the most.

 

And many churches have no such ministry so it's not really right to chastise a poor person for not having the humility to get something from goodwill. Swallowing pride. Really. Do you actually KNOW how much pride homeless and poor people swallow on a daily basis? Enough to choke a horse with. But they should swallow more to please who? Not Christ, that's for sure.

 

Amen.

 

In further research, I found exactly what we're supposed to be wearing:

 

Colossians 3:12-14

 

12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

 

:)

[michelle l]

In further research, I found exactly what we're supposed to be wearing:

 

Colossians 3:12-14

 

12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

 

 

:)

 

 

:iagree:

[Gretchen in NJ]

You are presenting a false dichotomy. Either dress nicely and be hypocritical' date=' judgmental, and prideful; or dress casually and be none of those bad things.:glare:

 

Most people who dress up for church do it out of a sense of [i']humility[/i], and would never dream of judging someone because they truly couldn't afford a dress, or were new and didn't know better.

 

We can pray in the shower, too, but surely you wouldn't suggest showing up naked? Or in a bikini? Or a clown suit? There are some things appropriate at one's home or in private, that are not appropriate for corporate worship in front of a Holy God.

 

If you are fine with dressing casually for church, good for you. Please don't impugn those of us who believe in dressing somewhat more formally with all sorts of evil motives.

:iagree:I like to use the words, "My Sunday best." I wear "my Sunday best" to church. It is "my Sunday best," not someone elses. It is just mine. This is what I teach my girls. You wear your Sunday best. It may not be as nice as someone else's, or it may be nicer then other's have to wear. It is yours: like Laura on Little House in the Prairie. Her dress wasn't as pricey is Nelly's dress, but it was "her" best.

[Luanne]

We're missionaries, so we travel a lot and visit a lot of churches. It really, really depends on the church. At our last church, the one that we started, people dressed very casually, wearing exactly what they would wear on any other day, which for most people was jeans and a t-shirt/sweatshirt/sweater etc. At our last church in the US, which was in a more cosmopolitan place, people usually dressed slightly nicer than they would on a normal day. As a sahm I would normally wear shorts and a t-shirt. At church I would wear nice trousers or a skirt with a nicer top.

 

I'm curious what the conversation was with your mom, sister, and friend.

 

 

Since you posted first, I will answer yours and hopefully some of the others as well since there was overlap. Anyway ... the conversation started with the friend (who is my sister's friend by the way ... not that I have anything against her ... just don't know her that well). She was talking about the church she attends and how she loves that is it so casual that even the guys don't bother to take their hats off in the church. I found that rather odd. I was always taught that it was respectful for a man to remove his hat ... especially in church.

 

I was raised in a church where everyone dressed up for church. My sister, mother, and I never went to church in anything other than a dress. My brothers didn't always have suits, but my father did and my brothers wore nice pants and shirts.

 

The most recent church I attended ... well, lets just say a lot of the teenage girls and young "ladies" could have been standing on the corner in downtown Denver the night before ... I just didn't think it was appropriate (and a couple of the teenage girls were the head pastor's daughters).

 

So ... I was just curious basically if there were still churches out there where people dressed up for church.

[milovany]

I simply stated that God isn't interested in your dress. He's interested in your heart.

 

For many, what's in our hearts manifests in what we wear to church. Sure God is interested in what's in our hearts, but that doesn't mean what's in our hearts doesn't ever determine an outward representation either. For me, what's in my heart is that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are, well, GOD -- the creator/sustainer/savior of the world to whom I owe absolutely everything, and I want to give Him my best in every way. So one of the ways that works itself out is that I wear what are my finest clothes when I'm with the faithful in His Presence within the sanctified church building -- especially when attending a Divine Liturgy service as described above. I think that when approached that way God certainly does care what I wear to church.

[LibraryLover]

At my UU church, people tended to dress. Suits for men, or at least ties and button- downs. I rarely see women in jeans. Even the hippies wear those fluffy skirts.

 

The little girls tended to dress up, which I always think is interesting.

[i.love.lucy]

You are presenting a false dichotomy. Either dress nicely and be hypocritical' date=' judgmental, and prideful; or dress casually and be none of those bad things.:glare:

 

Most people who dress up for church do it out of a sense of [i']humility[/i], and would never dream of judging someone because they truly couldn't afford a dress, or were new and didn't know better.

 

We can pray in the shower, too, but surely you wouldn't suggest showing up naked? Or in a bikini? Or a clown suit? There are some things appropriate at one's home or in private, that are not appropriate for corporate worship in front of a Holy God.

 

If you are fine with dressing casually for church, good for you. Please don't impugn those of us who believe in dressing somewhat more formally with all sorts of evil motives.

 

For many, what's in our hearts manifests in what we wear to church. Sure God is interested in what's in our hearts, but that doesn't mean what's in our hearts doesn't ever determine an outward representation either. For me, what's in my heart is that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are, well, GOD -- the creator/sustainer/savior of the world to whom I owe absolutely everything, and I want to give Him my best in every way. So one of the ways that works itself out is that I wear what are my finest clothes when I'm with the faithful in His Presence within the sanctified church building -- especially when attending a Divine Liturgy service as described above. I think that when approached that way God certainly does care what I wear to church.

:iagree::iagree:

 

Question: Why ever dress up if all that matters is whats on the inside? Should one go to a job interview for a executive position wearing jeans because "it's what's inside that counts?" That would be absolutely inappropriate. You also wouldn't wear a parka to the pool. We do dress to fit the occasion. As stated above, when I go to church, I go to worship and honor and bring glory to God. I think "wearing my best" is the idea. Even if my best is something that might be more casual, I can see that. I don't ever have the feeling in my congregation that anyone is looked down on for anything they wear. I always feel like everyone just shows up looking pretty good - and for most of us that's more than just the same ol' jeans you'd wear to a movie.

[Mrs Mungo]

A girl in my sister's college and career Sunday school class regularly wore old prom dresses to church. The youth nicknamed her Sparkles. It wasn't because that's all she could afford, she dressed differently for work. It wasn't about God, it was about her. It was distracting, to say the least.

 

If I own ball gowns, should I wear those to church, since those are my "best?"

 

I don't think that is what anyone is suggesting. However, a suit and tie would be just as distracting and out of place in my church as prom dresses were in my sister's church.

 

The truth is, everyone chooses the type of church in which they are comfortable and generally conforms to the norm in their congregation. There is nothing wrong with churches that dress up and nothing wrong with those that do not.

[asta]

There is a pastor of a mega-church in South Carolina named Perry Noble. He had this great analogy regarding our dress and worship in church. He likened it to an office bathroom. Someone has a bowel movement, and in order to cover up the smell, they spray air freshener. Only, now it smells like lavender-scented crap instead of just crap. That's what it's like to God when people pretend to be holier than they are. You're in church in your "Sunday best", singing songs of worship, and to God, it just smells like lavender-scented crap. And that's because you roll around in sin all week (pride and vanity are sins too - I know, because I struggle with those two the most!), smelling like crap to God, then try to "freshen" up with your outward appearance.

 

He tells the analogy much better than I do (and a little more bluntly than I did here).

 

The point is, church is supposed to be about Him - not you. What you wear is irrelevant (unless you are dressing in a way that causes disruption). To be prideful of your appearance in God's house (of ALL places) is still sinful to God. And assuming those who are down on their luck have "no excuse" to own a dress, is pretty judgmental and goes against everything Jesus died for.

 

I don't see this as a false dichotomy at all.

 

Lavender-scented crap. That's brilliant.

 

Our parish has a ministry that includes collecting donations of new dress clothes for needy families. All the mom would have to do is swallow her pride and ask for help.

 

If you would dress up to visit a monarch here on earth, why wouldn't you dress up when visiting the King of Kings? :confused:

 

My girls and I wear dresses or skirts & a nice blouse, DS wears khakis or dressy cords & a button down shirt with a sweater in the winter or a dressy polo shirt in the summer, and DH wears his suit pants & a button down shirt.

 

1. Because not all churches have ministries.

 

2. Because Jesus wouldn't give a rat's @ss.

 

3. Because what you are able to wear has no bearing on what someone else is able to wear.

 

Jesus, you know, the fisherman? The guy who had dirty dusty sandals and hung out on hillsides chit-chatting with normal people? Somehow I'm thinking he cares a whole lot more about the state of a person's heart then whether they are in jeans or a dress. As a matter of fact one could argue that the people he slammed the most were the ones with fancy china tea-cup outsides and dirty rings inside.

 

See #2 above. (not a slam on you Daisy, I'm using your post as a reference)

 

The perception of a king from a person living in the 21st century (and all of the pomp and circumstance that accompanies that) is quite different than the reality of a fisherman who had yet to ascend into heaven 2000 +/- years ago. Even allowing for those who ascribe to "Sola Scriptura", I'm aware of nothing describing Jesus dressed as anything close to what modern man would view a monarch from the 1400s forward.

 

Unless we're talking about clothing without seams, I really don't see the argument here.

 

Of course, as always, I could be completely, utterly wrong.

 

 

a

Edited April 21, 2010 by asta

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I'm just curious about something. How do the people at your church dress when they attend church? Something that was said when we went to lunch with my mother, sister, and a friend that has me thinking about this.

 

LOL, our last church it was aloha dresses and shirts mostly. The pastor was pretty formal because he tucked his shirt in and wore a belt. :lol: There was a 2/3 chance that the guy leading worship wouldn't be wearing shoes. And dh was known to thrown an aloha shirt on and hope that his shorts dried out from early morning snorkling before service started.

 

My inlaws' church is mostly jeans and polo shirts or sweaters, depending on the weather.

 

Our current church has a lot of casual (it's an evening service), a few nicer and a smattering of uniforms from folks who've just come from work.

[michelle l]

Our church is quite casual. I love that I can come to worship as I am. I do not have to put on my Sunday personna. I come simply as myself, complete with all my faults, to worship my Father who accepts me and calls me righteous. ( How unbelievable is that anyway? Faith credited to us as righteousness -- crazy!!)

 

I feel much more able to worship authentically when I am in able to be myself as opposed to having to fit a mold of what a Christian should look like. To me, having to dress up and do things "properly" makes me feel like I am playing church. The point is for me to give him honor and praise and to worship him "in Spirit and in truth", not to fit a certain mold that man has deemed acceptable. I also firmly believe God told us to come together for corporate worship not only to glorify himself, but becasue he knows it is good and necessary for us. We need that time of connection with him and with other believers in order to be strengthened and go be the church. Because of that, it's vital that we don't go throught the motions of doing church, but rather come to honestly worship, repent if necessary...we need to bring honesty to it. I don't think it's wrong to dress up. I also don't think it's wrong not to.

[mommaduck]

Yes, each church or area has their own cultural way of doing things. Where we should be careful is when this excludes people (such as dressing to the nines in the latest fashions). I attend a Greek church, in the city, with a diverse congregation, and an attached Etrean/Ethiopian congregation. You see everything except outright disrespect. You see modern "nice" clothes (but not over the top), businessmen dressed to the nines in suits, inner city people with the best that they own, Ethiopians with wrapped in layers and yards of embroidered linen (and yay! One of the ladies gifted my daughter and I with one :D ), women in skirts, women looking like nuns, women in dress slacks, women that are are from the Ukraine and either dress really modern or more conservatively with their head covered, women converted from other backgrounds and wear modern to thrift store dress and cover their heads...women with makeup, women without. Each is bringing their culture and family lifestyle with them. So glad that Orthodoxy is "catholic" (universal).

[TravelingChris]

I forgot to add that there are cultural differences in more formal too. SO in our island church in FLorida, I consider Aloha shirts and nice pants with a belt to be perfectly acceptable clothes. The grown men didn;t wear t-shirts though. THe women certainly did= nice t-shirts with skirts. I saw that as business clothing there in FLorida because it was the style most people in more formal occasions wore. DId people wear suits-yes, but less so than her in VA where it is colder and a more normal dress.

 

When we lived in New Mexico, many men wore bolos instead of ties. Women tended to dress in skirts and hardly any women in a suit. But again, the style was what I would consider business wear or sit down restaurant clothing.

 

My own sociological observations is not that wealthy congregations dress down and poor congregations dress up. What it reflects most is tradition and worship style. So in the poor neighborhoods surrounding U. of CHicago where I went to school, on Sundays, you would see very well dressed AA women with outfits with matching hats and similarly well dressed children. They would be going to Baptist, AME, or Holiness type churches for the most part which in another area may have more casual clothing but there, it was their best. In the churches I have attended which are semi-liturgical (United Methodist and Presbyterian of three different denominations), the usual dress is more formal than dressing to go to a soccer game or McDonalds. On the other hand, some of the non denominational churches we have been to with homeschooling events seem much more casual. We have also visited Anglican churches and Southern Baptist. Anglican ones were also more formal and Southern Baptist had more of a mix but with plenty of people dressing up again like as if they were going out to a Sunday Brunch at a nice restaurant.

[milovany]

2. Because Jesus wouldn't give a rat's @ss.

 

I'm sorry, but this really is just an opinion -- you cannot say this definitive statement for Jesus. I can *respect* your opinion, but please do recognize that that's what it is.

[Hockey Mom]

I'm sorry, but this really is just an opinion -- you cannot say this definitive statement for Jesus. I can *respect* your opinion, but please do recognize that that's what it is.

 

I dunno...Jesus was pretty clear when he rebuked the pharisees and their dress code:

 

27"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

 

In fact, ALL of Matthew 23 is about people (specifically the Pharisees) who are hypocritical. Those who dress the outside but ignore the inside.

[asta]

I'm sorry, but this really is just an opinion -- you cannot say this definitive statement for Jesus. I can *respect* your opinion, but please do recognize that that's what it is.

 

Thank you for respecting my opinion. (seriously)

 

I'd have to say that all of us chatting here are giving merely human opinions of something we couldn't possibly know.

 

 

a

[Joanne]

My current church, new to us, is very casual.

 

Our Pastor has preached in jeans with holes (intentional, purchased that way) and flip flops.

[TravelingChris]

I would have a hard time worshipping in a church with the preacher have ripped jeans and flip flops. I am not saying that there can't be a church like that because it probably does help some become believers. But for my family, church is much more formal and we really like that.

 

We should all go to what we feel is best. It is one of the good aspects of so many churches. You can usually find what you are looking for.

[LG Gone Wild]

I'm just curious about something. How do the people at your church dress when they attend church? Something that was said when we went to lunch with my mother, sister, and a friend that has me thinking about this.

 

Almost all attire I've seen is completely misjudged. The only people who look like they are going to church are the priests and deacons. Oh well!!!

 

Wait, there is one lady who is great in her dress and her husband. They wear their cultural attire from whatever African country they are from. Woman wears a fabulous headdress. I love it. Some might consider it flashy but I see it as her making a special occasion of mass.

[Jugglin'5]

I dunno...Jesus was pretty clear when he rebuked the pharisees and their dress code:

 

 

 

In fact, ALL of Matthew 23 is about people (specifically the Pharisees) who are hypocritical. Those who dress the outside but ignore the inside.

 

It does not follow that one should clean the inside and ignore the outside, either. That is a type of gnosticism that says the material world is unimportant. God placed great importance on "glory and beauty" when building his temple and dressing his priests. He plans to give us all beautiful white robes in heaven. Jesus wore an expensive, seamless garment himself.

 

Jesus also lambasted the Pharisees after they criticized His disciples for not washing their hands or cups. Do you really think He is against general cleanliness? No, He is making a point about the ridiculousness of being filthy inside and squeaky clean on the outside.

 

Hypocrisy is of course, evil, and so is such snobbery as looking down on your brother because he is in a t-shirt or doesn't have a little polo guy on his dress shirt. Hypocrisy can accompany all sorts of outward shows. It is not limited to those who try to dress respectfully for worship. You find hypocrites in every sort of category. Anyone who would look down on a poor person who wanders into a church because they aren't dressed up is harboring evil in their hearts. So are those that assume that if Mrs. Grundy is wearing a nice dress, why then ,she must be putting on a show, or thinks she's better than me, or she must be hiding some sort of secret sin.

[milovany]

It does not follow that one should clean the inside and ignore the outside' date=' either. That is a type of gnosticism that says the material world is unimportant. God placed great importance on "glory and beauty" when building his temple and dressing his priests. He plans to give us all beautiful white robes in heaven. Jesus wore an expensive, seamless garment himself.

 

Jesus also lambasted the Pharisees after they criticized His disciples for not washing their hands or cups. Do you really think He is against general cleanliness? No, He is making a point about the ridiculousness of being filthy inside and squeaky clean on the outside. [/quote']

 

Exactly. We can be dressed up on the outside as a result of a cleaning up in our hearts. We can't assume that people who are dressed up are probably hypocrites trying to impress people with their attire while not dealing with the evil in their hearts. In my case (and I'm sure for many), my dressing up on the outside is a result of what God is doing in my heart. I know I've been dealing with my inner sin TONS since converting to Orthodoxy -- and I've been dressing up more. It's related. He's cleaning me up, having me deal with things through confession with our priest, and I'm so glad for everything -- and that I'm in the presence of the King -- that I want to, again, give my best which includes my best attire.

 

It's described well in the 2nd paragraph above (that I quoted).

Edited April 21, 2010 by milovaný

[mommaduck]

Exactly. We can be dressed up on the outside as a result of a cleaning up in our hearts. We can't assume that people who are dressed up are probably hypocrites trying to impress people with their attire while not dealing with the evil in their hearts. In my case (and I'm sure for many), my dressing up on the outside is a result of what God is doing in my heart. I know I've been dealing with my inner sin TONS since converting to Orthodoxy -- and I've been dressing up more. It's related. He's cleaning me up, having me deal with things through confession with our priest, and I'm so glad for everything -- and that I'm in the presence of the King -- that I want to, again, give my best which includes my best attire.

 

It's described well in the 2nd paragraph above (that I quoted).

I agree to an extent. Unfortunately, I've known baptist, pentacostal, mennonite, and holiness groups that determine a person's spiritual state based on what they wore, whether they had a beard, didn't have a beard, or had a goatee, how their hair was kept, etc. You were deemed "saved" if you looked a certain way, because "that was the Spirit's doing". Yes, please explain to me all the well dressed, clean cut atheists...

[milovany]

I agree to an extent. Unfortunately, I've known baptist, pentacostal, mennonite, and holiness groups that determine a person's spiritual state based on what they wore, whether they had a beard, didn't have a beard, or had a goatee, how their hair was kept, etc. You were deemed "saved" if you looked a certain way, because "that was the Spirit's doing". Yes, please explain to me all the well dressed, clean cut atheists...

 

Yes! I'm not saying it's not possible, just that no one can assume or say dressing up does not matter to God as some have said. It's probably best if we all just take care of ourselves/families (before our spiritual father, if applicable) and not even be concerned with the dress of others, you know? I have enough crap in my own heart to be worrying about what others are dealing with.

Edited April 21, 2010 by milovaný

[Jugglin'5]

I agree to an extent. Unfortunately, I've known baptist, pentacostal, mennonite, and holiness groups that determine a person's spiritual state based on what they wore, whether they had a beard, didn't have a beard, or had a goatee, how their hair was kept, etc. You were deemed "saved" if you looked a certain way, because "that was the Spirit's doing". Yes, please explain to me all the well dressed, clean cut atheists...

 

And I've known lots of modern, young, hipsters wearing torn jeans who looked down on their grandmas with their "church lady" hats because the old people just don't "get it" and weren't therefore as spiritual as themselves. They place all blame for the church's problems on the old people or long time Christians and never examine their own hearts for pride of a different sort. Hypocrisy can grow in all sorts of odd places. We are none of us immune from the temptation of pride.

[mommaduck]

And I've known lots of modern' date=' young, hipsters wearing torn jeans who looked down on their grandmas with their "church lady" hats because the old people just don't "get it" and weren't therefore as spiritual as themselves. They place all blame for the church's problems on the old people or long time Christians and never examine their own hearts for pride of a different sort. Hypocrisy can grow in all sorts of odd places. We are none of us immune from the temptation of pride.[/quote']

Totally agree. There is a balance and there is a slippery slope on either side. It should be looked at from that view.

[mommaduck]

Yes! I'm not saying it's not possible, just that no one can assume or say dressing up does not matter to God as some have said. It's probably best if we all just take care of ourselves/families (before our spiritual if applicable) and not even be concerned with the dress of others, you know? I have enough crap in my own heart to be worrying about what others are dealing with.

Precisely! :iagree: