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One year and 60lbs later


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On April 2, 2009, I found myself weighing 184lbs. I'm only 5'2. I had been disgusted with my body for quite some time. I had my first miscarriage late Jan 06. I was completely devastated. I lost faith in my body. I hated it. It didn't help matters that I had a second miscarriage in May of that year. I was sure I was a complete failure. My body received the brunt of my frustration. I quit exercising. I turned to food for comfort. I probably drank a little too much occasionally.

 

I found out I was pregnant again in Aug 06. I cried. I felt certain my body would fail me again. I was afraid to move. I would lie still for hours, praying I wouldn't do anything to harm the baby, because I was sure It was my fault. I went through the whole pregnancy with severe anxiety, knowing my body was a failure, waiting for the moment it would fail me again. My precious little diva princess was born without any drugs or other interventions in May 07, weighing a healthy 8lb5oz.

 

Though my body finally came through for me, I was still caught in a cycle of self-loathing. I'm sure the constant hormonal upheaval didn't help one bit. We were dealing with dh separating from the Navy, a new baby, looking for work, parental health issues, the prospect of moving across the country, etc. I turned to my good friend food.

 

So we moved to a place where we knew no one. We moved to an acreage way out with no real neighbors. Lots of work. I pulled my kids out of the local school Dec 08 because it just wasn't working. Dh was going through a very intensive training program at his work which caused him to work long, crazy hours. I didn't have many friends here. Needless to say, my pants size increased.

 

I think the last straw for me was when an elderly gentleman at church asked me when I was due. If that isn't a kick in the rear, I don't know what is. I knew I needed help with weight loss. I wasn't confident enough to do it on my own. (Remember, my body was a colossal failure.) On April 2, 2009, I started Medifast. I had a friend who had wonderful results with the program. I needed something idiot-proof, and that was my answer.

 

I had a lot of work to do before I committed to Medifast. I had to tell myself I was worth the price. (Medifast is rather costly.) I had to tell myself I was worth the work, worth the effort, worth the results.

 

I started losing weight almost immediately. It was hard, but man it worked! I decided to add more exercise, so I started C25K. I ran my first 5K on July4 in 30:42. By the end of July, I had met my goal weight of 130lbs, which is a size 6 on me. I slowly transitioned off Medifast without gaining an ounce. I kept running. In Sept. I ran a local 5 mile race in 48:09. In Oct. I ran my first 10K in 55:02. I started training for a marathon in Dec. I ran 16 miles Monday! I woke up this morning and ran an easy 6 miles, on killer hills, with crazy wind!

 

As I reflect back to where I was a year ago, I realize I have my confidence back. I look at my body and no longer see a blobby, flubby failure. I see strong muscles, toned calves, and my waist! I am now down to a weight I never thought I would see again. I bought a size 2 pair of pants last week. Size 2!!!!! I am going to run (waddle, shuffle, or somehow complete) a marathon one month from today! For the first time in years, I am actually proud of myself for something I did for myself. Sure, I've been proud of my mothering occasionally, or my kids, or my teaching, or taking care of my dh. But this is something just for me. I actually took time for myself, time to work on myself, just for me. It feels fabulous.

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Wendi, CONGRATULATIONS!

 

Your story is inspirational to me! I have what I consider A LOT of weight to lose. I've been on Medifast for a while and have lost my mo-jo for it. I've lost about 35 lbs, but still have a ways to go and got burned out and discouraged. I need to get back on the wagon and really work the program. I signed up through a center, so the cost was enormous, and I am now feeling like such a failure because I only have about 7 weeks left in my contract time and I should have lost SO MUCH more by now. But, the reality is that I can get back in there and lose what I can while I have them, and then still continue the program on my own.

 

I have an appointment to weigh in tomorrow morning (:glare:It won't be good after about 5 weeks off) and I was just thinking this morning about skipping it. Your post was just in time today! I will keep my appointment.

 

The piece of the puzzle that I have not yet mastered is exercise. I know I need it, I just don't wanna. I really have to tell myself that if I will just go for a walk EVERY DAY then gradually I will be able to build up more and more of a fitness level. My goal was to buy myself a bike when I had lost 50lbs, and I don't have that much farther to go to get there!

 

Thanks again for sharing!! Good for you!!

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Wow! Thanks for sharing your story. I woke up this morning after a week of feeling kind of icky, and the first thought that went through my head was that I didn't want to eat healthy today. Your post is encouraging me to keep going towards my goal. Some weeks will be icky, but that doesn't have to determine the rest of my month or year.

 

Thanks:001_smile::001_smile::001_smile:

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I also want to say thanks.

 

I started in August (not Medifast) and loved losing weight. I felt good and was so proud of myself. When I made it under 200, I said that I would never make it over that again. Since, I've bounced around a little higher than I wanted, but have never made it to 200 again :)

 

Anyway, but I'm SO stuck. And it's SO frustrating. I do believe the cost of any program IS worth it if it is what will work for an individual but nothing is within my reach right now (hubby is unemployed). I would so exercise if I could but I'm in a bad spot physically right now and have difficulty walking across the house (but can do it! so I'll hold onto that!).

 

But as I read your post I thought...hmmm, I could do this. Though you lost most of yours in 4 months, if I think of it as a year, I still have til August 26th. That is a long time away. I could probably be REALLY close to goal, if not there, by then. I just have to stay motivated to keep trying!

 

And really, if I didn't do it by then, Dec isn't that far off. I certainly can do it by then. I can do this. I should do this. I'm WORTH IT!

 

Thanks for a little extra boost.

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