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One person came to my 12yo's bday party.

Renee in NC
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Desert Rat

Desert Rat

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That stinks, Renee! How sad! This happened to us for my son's 2nd birthday but it was my feelings hurt not his. He had a great time with grandparents. I was just mad that 4 of his little friends said they would come and then didn't even call to cancel. Ugh. People can be so rude sometimes.

I hope you can salvage the day for him!

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Parrothead

Parrothead

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I'm so sorry your guy was let down so hard. :grouphug:

 

This seems to be "normal" for upper elementary and older kids....they say they'll come but something "better" comes up or they forget (don't they teach kids in public school how to use a calendar???). We've given up even inviting the few PS friends we do have......and we typically are on the phone calling the day or two before for the homeschool kids.

 

 

This is not the fault of the public school. It is the fault of the parents of these kids. They are not teaching even basic social rules at home.

 

I will say that the homeschoolers and Girl Scouts came through for dd this year. We had only been here 3 weeks when dd birthday came upon us. I put out an email appeal to both groups and had many many girls show up and their moms. Unfortunately I'm not seen any of them here since.

 

 

Here, if you don't do the party at the Univ. Pool or Paint Ball, at that age, nobody will come. Younger ages=Chuck E. Cheese or an Inflatable Playground or 0 will show up. Sad...home parties here just don't work.

 

 

I think again that this is something the parents perpetuate. Really in most every aspect of life. Even our babies have toys that blink and make noise.

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Garga

Garga

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So sad. Tell your son this even happens to grownups. I've planned two different b-day parties for me and dh (our birthdays are one day apart) and each time, we invite about 100 people, a whole bunch of them RSVP, and then only a handful show up.

 

It really hurts your feelings and makes you feel so unloved. When I put out feelers to my friends about why they didn't show up, they blithely say, "Oh such and such happened and we couldn't make it." But they don't call or give advance notice. They don't even seem to realize how rude and thoughtless and painful it can be.

 

Maybe it's time we all start telling people, "Hey! You said you'd come to my party. I bought you food and a plate and cup and fork. It really hurt that you didn't bother to show." Maybe we all need to be brave and transparent about it and stop this trend.

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elegantlion

elegantlion

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He cried - he has been thinking of nothing but his party since about 3 weeks ago. Now he feels as if he doesn't have any friends again. He has taken the move from NC harder than any of the others.

 

I knew (from here :D) that people often don't RSVP, so I planned to have more than those who *had* RSVP'd.

 

My ds is 12 and having friend issues, so :grouphug:. My heart just hurts for him. I don't get people sometimes. :confused:

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TravelingChris

TravelingChris

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I am so sorry that this happened to you. We have never had this experience even though we do birthday parties. My older two stopped by age nine or ten but my youngest daughter does like birthday parties. She is my only extrovert. SHe has a mid December birthday too. For the party in 2008, we had it at a roller skating rink and all her invited friends came. It was both a birthday party and a goodbye party because we were moving on her actual birthday to another state.

 

This year, we had a party at the ice skating rink. She invited her Odyssey of Mind team and one neighbor girl (sister of one of the OTM girls) and two girls from her co-op classes. They all came too and since she was collecting supplies for the Animal Shelter, it had a bonanza too.

 

I don't do anything special to get them to come. We do the invites to the parent;s though since kids promise anything but parents have to drive.

 

Oh and I don't think we are buying friends either. She still is friends with many of those girls we left in Florida and they email each other and play online games together. SHe eats lunch usually and chats often with her friends here too. But like someone else remarked, these are her friends and not just acquaintances. If my older daughter tried to throw a party, I think I could expect a lot of no-shows since she doesn;t make friends easily.

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RanchGirl

RanchGirl

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How awful for your ds, I can see why you would both be upset! May I ask, are these children he considers close friends? It is so hard for me to picture my sons' close friends pulling something like this (or their parents, who are my friends, allowing them to behave so rudely). Maybe I am just naive?

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Renee in NC

Renee in NC

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How awful for your ds, I can see why you would both be upset! May I ask, are these children he considers close friends? It is so hard for me to picture my sons' close friends pulling something like this (or their parents, who are my friends, allowing them to behave so rudely). Maybe I am just naive?

 

No, none are close friends. We haven't been here that long - just since last July.

Edited by Renee in FL
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Spy Car

Spy Car

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I'm so sorry for your boy (and you) Renee.

 

I remember being the only guest when my friend Phil turned 10. It broke my heart to see his family prepare for a big party, and have me be the only kid to show up. :crying:

 

I still think about it, 41+ years later.

 

What was double-crummy was my birthday was the very next day, and there was a big turnout. I felt like Phil was getting it rubbed in his face.

 

I hope you tell him all the folks at WTM are wishing him a very happy birthday!

 

Bill

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Lovedtodeath

Lovedtodeath

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He cried - he has been thinking of nothing but his party since about 3 weeks ago. Now he feels as if he doesn't have any friends again. He has taken the move from NC harder than any of the others.

 

I knew (from here :D) that people often don't RSVP, so I planned to have more than those who *had* RSVP'd.

Oh, that is terrible! We have had the same experience and DD keeps asking for parties. I tell her no. What am I to do, tell her yes and then a party is still not possible?:(
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Osaubi

Osaubi

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I got the time wrong on one of my ds friend's birthday. When I called she said it was almost over. I felt so bad we drove out anyway, and my ds and his friend had one on one time.

 

It breaks my heart to hear that this happened.

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Renee in NC

Renee in NC

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Thanks all for the hugs and reassurances.

 

I think I figured out why no one ever talks about it - my ds is embarrassed and does not want ANYONE to know it happened. I won't say a word and if anyone asks, "How was the party?" I will answer, "Fine!"

 

We won't do this again. Next year we'll pick a couple of friends (or even just one good one) and go do something special.

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LG Gone Wild

LG Gone Wild

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Even people who RSVP'd didn't show up. I feel sick for him! How cruel.:glare:

 

He called one person who was supposed to come a little late and found out he had forgotten. His Dad said it wasn't worth him coming now because it was almost over.

 

The one person who did come had to leave early because her brother got sick. So, by an hour and a half into the party, no one was left.

 

:crying:

 

UPDATE!

 

The boy who didn't make it because it was too late for him to come threw him a surprise birthday party at Scouts today. He is happy and all is well! What a wonderful thing for him to do for my ds.:D

 

What a rollercoaster of emotions! What an awesome friend!

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Gretchen in NJ

Gretchen in NJ

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Even people who RSVP'd didn't show up. I feel sick for him! How cruel.:glare:

 

He called one person who was supposed to come a little late and found out he had forgotten. His Dad said it wasn't worth him coming now because it was almost over.

 

The one person who did come had to leave early because her brother got sick. So, by an hour and a half into the party, no one was left.

 

:crying:

 

UPDATE!

 

The boy who didn't make it because it was too late for him to come threw him a surprise birthday party at Scouts today. He is happy and all is well! What a wonderful thing for him to do for my ds.:D

 

How very sweet for the boy to do so.:001_smile:

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mcconnellboys

mcconnellboys

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I'm so glad for him (and you)! My son's 12th birthday is next week and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about it. So, so many of the friends he's had since he was pre-school age have gone back to school and he really doesn't get to see them any more. Others are JW and do not do birthdays. Still others are going to be out of town next week. In thinking about who we can even ask, I'm coming up with very few people, so if any of them can't come, we'll be in the same shoes as you......

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Charles Wallace

Charles Wallace

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Even people who RSVP'd didn't show up. I feel sick for him! How cruel.:glare:

 

He called one person who was supposed to come a little late and found out he had forgotten. His Dad said it wasn't worth him coming now because it was almost over.

 

The one person who did come had to leave early because her brother got sick. So, by an hour and a half into the party, no one was left.

 

:crying:

 

UPDATE!

 

The boy who didn't make it because it was too late for him to come threw him a surprise birthday party at Scouts today. He is happy and all is well! What a wonderful thing for him to do for my ds.:D

 

 

I'm so glad for your update. You've touched upon a nightmare for me as a parent.

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Miss Sherry

Miss Sherry

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That is just rude of them not to show up. When my children were little and I gave B-Day parties for them I personally phoned each parent to find out if they were bringing their children to the party or not. I once had a family stand us up on Christmas Eve. Of course I called to find out what was going on. The Mom had decided to take a pg test just as it was time to go out the door and was upset that it was positive so just didn't show up. Who chooses that exact moment to take a pg test ? She really let down all of her children and all of mine. Some people are just flakey. I mailed the gifts I had purchased for her children to them, hoping that may help to ease their disappointment a tiny bit. It just wasn't right or fair what she did to everyone.

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Mabelen

Mabelen

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No, none are close friends. We haven't been here that long - just since last July.

 

I really feel it for you and your son. It really isn't fair and it is very hurtful, it definitely doesn't help with making the new place feel like home either. My oldest turned 13 only 2 months after we had relocated and we just did a family birthday. She was fine with it but kind of mourned not being able to share with her old time friends from back home. She had met a couple of nice girls by then but they were busy. My youngest just celebrated her 6th birthday at an animal center, most people RSVPd, one mom called just before we were leaving the house to let us know her daughter had just been sick and would not be coming, everybody else who had said would come did. After reading the stories here I am feeling very grateful.

 

I am editing to add I just read your update. This is wonderful!

Edited by Mabelen
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amydavis

amydavis

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My youngest son had this happen when he was turning 6. We had family there (my parents, my brother and his wife and their 4 and 3 year olds). We had invited his whole class (he was in ps at the time), and...not.one.person.showed. I just remember his little face coming up to me and asking "mom, when does my party start?" I had to work hard not to cry, and he seemed heartbroken. I remember, with much gratitude, how hard my sister-in-law worked at trying to make it seem like a fantastic party for him, but he was definitely hurt. I'm so sorry you had this kind of experience, and I'm happy that things worked out nicely later.

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Ibbygirl

Ibbygirl

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UPDATE!

 

The boy who didn't make it because it was too late for him to come threw him a surprise birthday party at Scouts today. He is happy and all is well! What a wonderful thing for him to do for my ds.

 

Oh how wonderful!! I'm so glad!! :party: :hurray: :)

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