A thread for parents allowing a wide variety of media........

[Joanne]

The other thread is a great support from essentially a self-select group. It is logical and expected that in a classical homeschooling forum, a significant percentage of parents would disallow much popular media and engagement with pop culture.

 

In fact, I suspect that there are less parents here who are intentionally embracing a less censored approach to movies, tv, music, books.

 

I am aware of everything my children view, listen to and participate in. It is not all "wholesome". It's not edifying. It's not "pure". We talk about it, we discuss it. We (as parents) are in tune with time spent viewing, listening, reading. My kids play outside more than any screen time. They engage appropriately with life, in personal people, etc.

 

I don't believe you can make any accurate generalizations about parents on either "side" of the issue or how the kids will turn out. Parenting and children turning into adults is far too complicated to be reduced to issues of media, spanking, education setting, sleep/eat/play routines.

Edited January 7, 2010 by Joanne

[Renee in NC]

See, I can join you over here, too.

 

I let my kids watch NCIS, and CSI, and other shows like that.:D They love Gibbs. Of course, I forget to watch them if dh is working!:tongue_smilie:

 

I also do not limit what my teen watches (even when he lived with us I didn't) other than no p*rn (obviously) and he couldn't watch inappropriate stuff in front of his brothers and sisters.

 

I just can't see controlling everything they watch and then expecting them to go out into the world themselves and exercise self-control.

[rwjx2khsmj]

I find myself to go back and forth on what I do or don't allow. Some of that is because of different standards between dh and me. That's another thread.

 

I did let my daughters read the Twilight books. That happened because I truthfully didn't think they'd do it. They'd never been inspired to read anything like that before. As a result, I read all the Twilight books. I'm not a fan but I can understand the appeal for the under 20 crowd.

 

I had a rule for popular literature/movies (especially the movies I didn't particularly think they needed to see) that they had to read the book before seeing the movie. The policy had worked beautifully in the past. That policy is no longer in effect. We now have a case-by-case, based-on-content policy.

 

I tend to restrict my kids with relation to media more by time than by content. We do spend a lot of time talking about what they view and why they like it don't like it, what the message was, if it was helpful, harmful or just a way to take up time. I also tend to prefer that they watch movies, where I have some way to know/control what they see as opposed to tv where I never know what's coming up next.

[teachermom2834]

We are much, much more conservative than our neighbors/ teammates/ public schooling peers.

 

We are much more permissive with media than our fellow co-op families.

 

It's funny to be both conservative and liberal on the same topic :)

 

I think I am fairly strict but my 11 ds told me the other day that we "aren't exactly average homeschoolers. We're allowed to do some stuff."

 

I would be more comfortable with a little less media. Pop music makes me squirm and I frequently turn the station when I've reached my limit. I would probably be happier with fewer video games in the house. I'm shooting for moderation and discussion, though. My parents said no to just about everything and I don't think that was a good approach either.

 

Marie

[i.love.lucy]

We are much, much more conservative than our neighbors/ teammates/ public schooling peers.

 

We are much more permissive with media than our fellow co-op families.

 

It's funny to be both conservative and liberal on the same topic :)

 

 

This is us too.

[fivetails]

I'll say the same thing that I said in the other thread:

 

I think that "strict" or "conservative" - or whatever other words you want to use - is going to look different depending on the family/household/etc.

 

I'm a strict parent in comparison to some; lenient in comparison to others. :)

 

[applies to media, activities, dress, whatever]

[jenL]

I'll say the same thing that I said in the other thread:

 

I think that "strict" or "conservative" - or whatever other words you want to use - is going to look different depending on the family/household/etc.

 

I'm a strict parent in comparison to some; lenient in comparison to others. :)

 

[applies to media, activities, dress, whatever]

 

This is my family.

[Heather in AL]

We, too, don't censure what our kids read/watch (with the obvious exception of p*rn, of course!)

 

Our kids had 6 and 4 years of ps, so they had been exposed to all the bad words at a young age----as far back as K for them both.... in renting movies, we gradually allowed those with "bad language" with the clear instructions of "we know you know the bad words, but if, after watching movies with the words in them, we hear you USE them it's back to rated G movies". We have never heard the kids swear. Doesn't mean they don't.... just that we don't know about it. ;) We have friends whose kids are the same ages/older and still run their movies through Clear Play, even though they, too, know all the words (and I am *not* judging them for that, just making a statement). Would I rather watch a movie without being inundated by foul language? You bet. But, I also don't feel the need to pay for a service to filter through the stuff for me.

 

Books are the same..... I don't read what they read, and I've told them both that if they read something that bothers them, to either skip it or put the book down for later reading. They also know to come to me to talk about anything they have questions about/be uncomfortable about.

 

Dh and I feel that by allowing them to self-censure, they are able to make decisions based on what THEY are ready for. Happily, both kids are reading 'normal' stuff, are not trash talking, and are polite, well-adjusted kids. By being here, and available to them as they encounter this stuff, we are hoping to avoid the confusion of feelings, etc, when they get older and are sure to be exposed.

 

Oh, I do feel that I should say that for movies, we make sure to stay away from s*x scenes as the kids are still too young for that realistic & visual portrayal.... if it's something dh and I have already seen that is a bit, um, too much for the kids, we'll stay in the room and have the kids turn around and mute/fast forward until that part is over. There are tons of movies out there where a mere 20 seconds 'ruins' the movie.

[Parrothead]

 

I just can't see controlling everything they watch and then expecting them to go out into the world themselves and exercise self-control.

:iagree: Past a certain age I can't see controlling quite a bit of stuff - not just electronics. I want dd to be able to learn to discern what is appropriate while she is still in my house. That way when she is an adult with everything available to her she can walk away. I've seen too many adult children that were restricted as minors go out and make a mess of their lives because they are out from under their parents' thumbs

[Avila]

I just can't see controlling everything they watch and then expecting them to go out into the world themselves and exercise self-control.

 

:iagree:

 

DH is more liberal than I am, but he is their father and he gets a say too. How liberal we are depends on who you are comparing us to, but we definitely couldn't rate on the other thread.

 

I lost a friend over this last year because she could not let our differences go, and she took such a morally superior tone about it that I was done having that (or any) conversation with her. Being more strict with media means you are more strict with media. It doesn't mean you are a better parent than someone who disagrees with you.

[KRG]

My philosophy at home and when I taught school has been that those 'unwholesome' moments are really great teaching moments.

[Renee in NC]

:iagree:

 

DH is more liberal than I am, but he is their father and he gets a say too. How liberal we are depends on who you are comparing us to, but we definitely couldn't rate on the other thread.

 

I lost a friend over this last year because she could not let our differences go, and she took such a morally superior tone about it that I was done having that (or any) conversation with her. Being more strict with media means you are more strict with media. It doesn't mean you are a better parent than someone who disagrees with you.

 

Amen!

 

On the other thread I could be considered liberal or conservative, just depends (like the kitten lady said!)

[Mrs Mungo]

We are much, much more conservative than our neighbors/ teammates/ public schooling peers.

 

We are much more permissive with media than our fellow co-op families.

 

We are similar.

[gandpsmommy]

We are much, much more conservative than our neighbors/ teammates/ public schooling peers.

 

We are much more permissive with media than our fellow co-op families.

 

It's funny to be both conservative and liberal on the same topic :)

 

I think I am fairly strict but my 11 ds told me the other day that we "aren't exactly average homeschoolers. We're allowed to do some stuff."

 

I would be more comfortable with a little less media. Pop music makes me squirm and I frequently turn the station when I've reached my limit. I would probably be happier with fewer video games in the house. I'm shooting for moderation and discussion, though. My parents said no to just about everything and I don't think that was a good approach either.

 

Marie

 

This sounds like us.

[hillfarm]

I consider myself fairly conservative, but am seeing via these threads that perhaps I am more lenient than I thought.

 

I heard a very interesting radio program several years ago about how many of the teens of Christian families tend to have very shallow faith. The speaker explained that IHO, it was because their good, conservative parents had done a great job of thoroughly protecting them from the evils and ugliness of the world. The problem was that when these kids finally come face to face with it, many had no clue as to how to cope. Some lost their moral bearings and become confused about what was right and wrong. Others walked about as lambs and were devoured by the predators. Some ran back home and hid under the bed, refusing to interact with the big, bad world. And some were mesmerized and quickly fell under the siren spell. They didn't know how to react to challenges to their faith, in person or via the media. They were nearly non-functional in modern society. Which is where most of them will have to take up residence.

 

I can see a lot of truth in what the speaker said. I think this applies to many types of conservatism, not just Christians.

 

I knew a woman who fed her family only the most healthy diet imaginable. She spent hours in the kitchen preparing good food. They never allowed junk food. Her sons would literally steal junky snacks (pretzels, cookies, etc.) from my car if I visited there after a trip to the grocery. The minute they were out of her sight they were loading up on sugary treats. IMO, if she had allowed some less than stellar items to be part of their regular diet, perhaps they wouldn't have been so driven to gobble them up behind her back.

 

Another family I know have been fairly isolationist with their six children. The thing they avoid is contact with strangers. At a homeschool gathering, with families they have been around for at least a full year, those children (including the 16 and 13yos) clustered around their parents and refused to join in as the others were working with a guest presenter at the front of the same room. If the mother would have had an apron with multiple strings, there would have been six kids hanging on for dear life. Completely unable to interact, learn, have fun, in a very safe, low key environment.

 

IMO, exposure to some media/popular culture, in a controlled way when children are very young and lessening in restriction as is age appropriate is critical for learning how to live in our world. I have seen those who react fearfully, and I have seen those who sneak around to get access to that from which they have been banned. I don't want either for my dd. I want her to be properly educated as to what is out there and to the possible pit falls. And as mentioned, as they mature, they need to learn how to use their own discernment and judgement. And that takes time and practice, and there will be failures. But better to experience that at home where loving parents can help pick up the pieces if needed or give gentle guidance and ask pointed questions, than when they are finally out on their own and faced with the whole of the culture all at once with no one to shelter them or help them interpret what they are discovering.

 

Unless a parent is willing to severely limit the possibilities for a child's future, then I feel strongly that we must teach them how to live well in a world that does not share our values and beliefs. IMO, the issue is protectionism, and it is critical to find that line between a healthy amount and a damaging amount.

[LarlaB]

We are much, much more conservative than our neighbors/ teammates/ public schooling peers.

 

We are much more permissive with media than our fellow co-op families.

 

It's funny to be both conservative and liberal on the same topic :)

 

 

 

Same here

[hornblower]

I wish I could add "and low-rise jeans" to the title of this thread.

:D

[Parrothead]

I knew a woman who fed her family only the most healthy diet imaginable. She spent hours in the kitchen preparing good food. They never allowed junk food. Her sons would literally steal junky snacks (pretzels, cookies, etc.) from my car if I visited there after a trip to the grocery. The minute they were out of her sight they were loading up on sugary treats. IMO, if she had allowed some less than stellar items to be part of their regular diet, perhaps they wouldn't have been so driven to gobble them up behind her back.

 

This reminds me of a woman I knew in Montana. We didn't talk often - every once in a while at the library mostly. When we moved there her ds was a newborn. When he was about two she was in the library trying to find ways to fatten him up. She was so strict with his diet that the doctor said ds was underweight. I asked her what she was feeding him and it was mostly fruit and veggies. Just a little meat and very little starch/grains. She asked what to feed him for breakfast. All my suggestions, eggs, waffles, pancakes, oatmeal, cereal, were things the ds wouldn't eat. She'd been trying to get him to eat that stuff for a week. He'd rather have grapes.

 

For me that gave new meaning to the term "variety and moderation."

[Michelle in AL]

My teens have grown up with a mixture of music and movies. When they were younger I screened their music, movies and viewing much more. Now that they are the ages of 14 and 15, I only screen movies since some are blatantly useless. They pretty much are free to listen to whatever they want now.

 

That said, I am very proud of the stance they have taken as Christians. They truly believe that Christians must LIVE in the world so they can reach other people. As a musician, my youngest has read about and deeply investigated the Christian music industry and it isn't all that pretty or Christian, as in Love thy Brother, "Christian." It's more like Love your Brother only if he fits a certain description. Ideas and messages of muscians must fit through their filter, which is very narrow and legalistic at times, not allowing for differences or questions.

 

My teens appreciate most those groups that are Christian that are trying to make it in the secular market. Groups that have the potential to affect and reach other musicians and listeners that may never consider Christianity. Groups that produce music that isn't always so bluntly Christian that may offer an alternative to different mindsets. Many of these groups value freedom of expression and also have the desire to reach people outside the church doors.

 

They also feel that in order to really reach someone you first have to meet them on their path, whether that path is media, music or language. You need to be able to identify with their ways and coexist with them in a loving way while at the same time, not participating in something that would be offensive to God.

 

We've discussed the pros of limiting interactions with the outside world, and both girls adamently prefer to have positive relationships with many people, some who may not be considered desirable by conservative, middle class folks. They would rather try to form positive relationships with many, risking the chance of hurt, as they see that as more beneficial to all.

 

Sorry for such a long reaction to this discussion, and thanks if you've made it this far. It's a topic near and dear to our hearts here.

[Rosy]

We are much, much more conservative than our neighbors/ teammates/ public schooling peers.

 

We are much more permissive with media than our fellow co-op families.

 

It's funny to be both conservative and liberal on the same topic :)

 

 

So are we. I am a fairly strict parent in general--I have firm boundaries and try to enforce them consistently. But when it comes to entertainment, I'm fairly lenient as long as I don't see it affecting their values or behavior. I was more strict at one point...eventually I found that *for me*, it did more to bolster my pride than anything. I find spiritual pride to be much more dangerous to a child's well-being than a few episodes of <insert popular cartoon here>. This is me talking about myself, by the way.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I wish I could add "and low-rise jeans" to the title of this thread.

:D

 

*Snort* (as I hitch up my own jeans)

 

I also teach them all the bad words myself so that they will know if someone is insulting them.

[MariannNOVA]

 

I also teach them all the bad words myself so that they will know if someone is insulting them.

 

:lol::lol:

 

:rolleyes: Yup, that's me!

 

Mariann

[Parrothead]

*Snort* (as I hitch up my own jeans)

 

I also teach them all the bad words myself so that they will know if someone is insulting them.

:lol:

 

Dd is :bigear: with some of the things that come out of my mouth periodically. Great pain or great anger happen only a couple times a year, and every. time. dd has to be in the room.

[joannqn]

We are strict with discipline and lenient with media.

 

That being said, we have friends that are extremely limiting with their children's media. Even most G movies aren't allowed...even for their 8th grader. The kids were once really good friends, but as my kids have more experiences, we are finding it harder and harder to find common ground. I don't know how to work around it either. I'm finding that I remind my kids, "Now remember, they aren't allowed to watch this and this and this. And they can't read that and that and that. So, don't talk about them or pretend to be _________." The list is so long that it includes almost anything my kids might suggest they do together....and our weather keeps us indoors during a good chunk of the year.

[Shawna in Texas]

This is an issue I struggled with when my oldest was a baby. I was very choosy about screen time and only allowed shows and movies that I believed wouldn't rot her brain.

 

But see, I *love* TV. Particularly what some would consider the brain rotting variety. Except see, I still have my brain.

 

As my dd aged, I'd allow a little more TV. When daddy came home from work, he would turn it to Sponge Bob or King of the Hill and we'd all veg out before dinner. Still today, I love listening to my family laugh as I'm preparing dinner.

 

I'm pretty liberal with media now. Just as long as school and chores are getting done and I feel like we're still completely connected as a family. Honestly if it weren't for Wow Wow Wubbzy, my oldest would be on her own with school. It's the only thing I've found to keep my toddler still (and out of trouble) for more than 15 minutes.

 

As for age appropriate things, that's always going to be on a case by case basis. I'd certainly not let her watch Rome, but there's a few movies that we'd watch together that would make some wonder if I'm sane or not. But, I am and my oldest is someone who can participate in polite conversation, even if the TV is on in the background.

[Mama Lynx]

I'm stuck in the middle too :)

 

We're more permissive than most homeschoolers I know, but restrictive compared to most non-homeschoolers I know.

 

We are much, much more conservative than our neighbors/ teammates/ public schooling peers.

 

We are much more permissive with media than our fellow co-op families.

 

It's funny to be both conservative and liberal on the same topic :)

 

I think I am fairly strict but my 11 ds told me the other day that we "aren't exactly average homeschoolers. We're allowed to do some stuff."

 

I would be more comfortable with a little less media. Pop music makes me squirm and I frequently turn the station when I've reached my limit. I would probably be happier with fewer video games in the house. I'm shooting for moderation and discussion, though. My parents said no to just about everything and I don't think that was a good approach either.

 

Marie

[BikeBookBread]

You know what is interesting? I think I fit in BOTH of these media threads...

 

I guess we're like a lot of you...we are stricter than many of our friends, but more lenient than others.

 

We let our kids see Star Wars, Star Trek, the occasional Raymond episode (PDG thinks this show is especially humorous); when we had cable, both girls ADORED Man vs. Wild and Survivorman. I guess what we "censor" is what many would consider twaddle. DH and I just can't stand the commercialism of Disney network, Nick, etc.... the product tie-ins, clothing, etc. (dead horse being beaten on these boards...I'll stop on this topic).

 

Further, we want to raise them to be innocent, but not naive. We want to preserve their childhoods. I have a homeschooling parent friend who has never seen Star Wars (she was raised very conservatively) because of the The Force. She never saw ET because ET was an alien and there was a bit of bad language. In fact, she gets TERRIFIED when she watches any movie with any sort of fearful element. We (unfortunately) recommended The Village to her and her husband, and she didn't take it well, at all...we thought it was just great storytelling, but she just couldn't handle the relatively benign scary element of the movie.

 

I just don't want our girls to be so afraid of their shadows. Kids need a way to sort through the scary stuff of life -- hopefully raising them in a Christian environment will guide them towards Faith. Great storytelling is another way to help them deal with this stuff...

 

And like I said on the other board, I hate the word "strict"...we aren't "strict" but we are discerning.

 

So, which thread do I belong to?!?!? :) :) :)

[MariannNOVA]

You know what is interesting? I think I fit in BOTH of these media threads...

 

I guess we're like a lot of you...we are stricter than many of our friends, but more lenient than others.

 

 

Further, we want to raise them to be innocent, but not naive. We want to preserve their childhoods.

I just don't want our girls to be so afraid of their shadows. Kids need a way to sort through the scary stuff of life -- hopefully raising them in a Christian environment will guide them towards Faith. Great storytelling is another way to help them deal with this stuff...

 

And like I said on the other board, I hate the word "strict"...we aren't "strict" but we are discerning.

 

So, which thread do I belong to?!?!? :) :) :)

 

I don't know, but I belong to the same one -- I think the key word is 'discernment' --

 

I've also learned that when one makes something 'forbidden,' it automatically becomes much more attractive!

 

Mariann

[Kimberly in IN]

I'm stuck in the middle too :)

 

We're more permissive than most homeschoolers I know, but restrictive compared to most non-homeschoolers I know.

 

 

We fall into the same category. We are liberal compared to many who post here but very conservative compared to many we know IRL, especially many of the kids' ps friends. We also tend to be a case by case family. The kids read a great deal of twaddle (love the word, try to fit it in often) but rarely watch TV. Otoh, the kids are on the computer and play video games (but are supervised.)

 

We hope they turn out alright or we are giving them a lot to talk about w/ the prison shrink. (joke a judge friend and I share about our kids)

[BikeBookBread]

I've also learned that when one makes something 'forbidden,' it automatically becomes much more attractive!

 

 

Yep. Case in point: PDG just thinks Hannah Montana is AWESOME (her word). Yet she has NEVER seen an episode, just pictures, etc. While we were in a waiting room yesterday, she "finally" got to seen an episode. You would've thought it was Christmas. I didn't make a big deal about it, though, and I won't bring it up again, but dh and I know in our minds it's not something we want her "raised" on. If she sees it again, whatever...there's not a lifestyle of watching it going on.

 

I asked her what she liked about it, and she said it was the dancing...not the story. She thought the people were "dumb" (her word), but she liked the dancing around parts.

[MamaT]

We are much, much more conservative than our neighbors/ teammates/ public schooling peers.

 

We are much more permissive with media than our fellow co-op families.

 

It's funny to be both conservative and liberal on the same topic :)

 

 

 

This sounds like our family.

[LibraryLover]

TV has never been a huge thing in my kids lives and there aren't actual rules, but there is discussion and we do have personal guidelines. The older kids, fi, know they aren't going to watch a scary movie in front of their little sister; they are pretty protective. I don't need to limit TV screen time, because they really don't spend much time watching. My 21 yr old is currently on the sofa reading, and my 10 yr old is also in the living room, playing with her Egyptian Playmobil. The 17 yr old and 16 yr old are playing guitar hero, which they just began, although they have been home for hours.

 

They like movies-- we all do-- and they have seen Sponge Bob and Simpson's and we've had some good discussions.

 

My 16 yr old just came up to ask his brother a question about Richard Nixon, and is now playing the piano. GH lasted about 5 minutes.

 

My 17 yr old is still playing, but she just finished a lengthy essay about The Pacific Theater in WW II that was *excellent* I must say. She also had a two hour art tutorial today and think her brain is a bit fried. She did her Biology this morning at 5am.

 

I don't know what to say, we've always had balance and I think they are very 'intellectual', each in their own way although I've never freaked about Disney movies or anything.

 

Now my 10 and 21 yr old are talking about how to survive a Zombie attack. The 10 yr old said "So you're saying Zombies lack motor control and intellect?"

:lol:

Edited January 7, 2010 by LibraryLover

[elegantlion]

I used to think we were conservative, but not so much I guess. We have "loosened the reins" as ds has gotten older. Most of the media choices he makes are really following us really, it's hard to out-rebel a rebel. :D

 

He has Led Zepplin on his I-pod, got (oops! should read received) Terminator: Salvation the movie for Christmas, and in the last three weeks of break he might have heard a few curse words slip from my mouth. We dialogue a lot about our cultural choices.

Edited January 7, 2010 by elegantlion
correcting my cultural slang, which ds gets from me too.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

We limit it because we are aware of what a time waster it can be, and we don't watch a lot of the regular sitcoms because I just don't like them (well, except Big Bang Theory which makes me laugh until I snort!).

 

As far as music is concerned, we don't worry too much about it because our dc don't have a lot of exposure to stuff. But, there is the occasional secular song thrown in with the Christian stuff--we just tend to lean to Christian music because we like it!

 

Other media, it's a tad different for us because, as I said, we are a little removed from it all. We do have a clearplay dvd player because it helps us to be able to watch movies and edit out any s**ually explicit stuff as well as swearing, because we just don't want to hear it in a comedy or something. Now on the other had, we have watched movies like "Twin Towers", "The Patriot", and "Saving Private Ryan" without clearplay because I don't feel the swearing is "gratuitous". It's just part of what would realistically happen in the situation.

 

That's our take. We tend to be extremely more conservative than our other friends even with this view. But, I know that I'm more in the middle.

 

ETA: As our dc get older, we are allowing them to make more decisions about this. I want their walk with God to be THEIRS, not our values.

[Renee in NC]

Big Bang Theory is absolutely hysterical!!!!!!

[Joanne]

Being more strict with media means you are more strict with media. It doesn't mean you are a better parent than someone who disagrees with you.

 

So true. The longer I'm a parent, the more I see this apply on specifics.

 

Feeding on demand means feeding on demand; it doesn't make you a better parent.

 

Spanking or not spanking means *just* that. It says nothing about the quality of parenting.

 

Public school/homeschool tells only educational setting; it says nothing in and of itself about the parents and quality of education.

 

Dating or courting simply demonstrate a decision about teen relationships; not whether the parents involved are good or not.

Edited January 7, 2010 by Joanne

[Audrey]

The other thread is a great support from essentially a self-select group. It is logical and expected that in a classical homeschooling forum, a significant percentage of parents would disallow much popular media and engagement with pop culture.

 

In fact, I suspect that there are less parents here who are intentionally embracing a less censored approach to movies, tv, music, books.

 

I am aware of everything my children view, listen to and participate in. It is not all "wholesome". It's not edifying. It's not "pure". We talk abouit it, we discuss it. We (as parents) are in tune with time spent viewing, listening, reading. My kids play outside more than any screen time. They engage appropriately with life, in personal people, etc.

 

I don't believe you can make any accurate generalizations about parents on either "side" of the issue or how the kids will turn out. Parenting and children turning into adults is far too complicated to be reduced to issues of media, spanking, education setting, sleep/eat/play routines.

 

IMO, it's all about moderation. I am very aware of everything my ds plays and watches and with whom he is doing these things. When he wants something with which I disagree, we discuss it. On rare occasion, he has convinced me to change my mind. Other times, I explain why I have made the decision I've made.

 

FTR, we have a Wii. Ds also has a Nintendo DS and plays several games on the PC (Spore, Lego Network, Roblox, and a few sites that are specific to local children's television stations. We watch tv a lot (IMO), but rarely watch regular network programming. I wouldn't call us the most media-loaded family, but I certainly wouldn't lump us in the media-Luddite category either.

[justamouse]

*Snort* (as I hitch up my own jeans)

 

I also teach them all the bad words myself so that they will know if someone is insulting them.

 

 

:lol: Yeah, that's me. And with the jean hitch, too. :D

 

I'm both.

 

Or, I should say, that my children have never wanted to watch or listen to anything I would find disagreeable. And there are shows and music on that list. But I don't make any sort of deal out of censoring in hopes that I never have to.

 

I'm also sure to some I'm so liberal that they wouldn't allow their kids to play with mine. We love rock band, guitar hero, wii and The Mighty B. Phineas and Ferb. Disney. iCarly. They all ahve ds' and when we're on trips they all link up and 'chat' or play mario cart. Spongebob makes my whole family crack up and there is nothing I love listening to more than my family having fun together and laughing. They really enjoy one another.

 

Editing to add:

 

One of the reasons I'm so easy with the rules is because my kids are so good. I can take them anywhere-and I mean anywhere. From stores to museums to restaurants, they've never embarrassed me. They don't speak inappropriately, they aren't rude, they don't run all over-even when we've been sitting for two hours over a meal. They stay with me, they are respectful and helpful. They are just as apt to go outside and play lacrosse together as they are to sit down and do a puzzle. Or ride bikes. (They are all underweight, something I am trying to remedy-Here! Have a stick of butter! *g* ) They ask to play wii or rock band and I have no problems allowing them (of course when school is over).

 

I don't need to monitor them, they're pretty darned perfect. Even with their attitudes toward eachother. Now, if I saw disrespect or lack of lovingkindness, then I would find the culprit and weed it out.

 

I have found the more balanced I am with things-down to food-the less behavioral problems I have. And if there is a strict one of my Dh and I, it's me. *g*

 

edit #2: When I was a kid my Christian mom banned everything and I became a wild child. Some of the stuff she banned made no sense except for the fact that all of the other mothers were banning them. I guess the way I parent is a reaction to being parented that way.

Edited January 7, 2010 by justamouse

[Amy loves Bud]

Well, all I can say is

 

We LOOOOOOOVE Sponge Bob Squarepants. :001_wub:

 

I don't get how all the media-bashing focuses on that show. He is a very nice character, a good friend, a hard-worker. Yes, it's silly. But with all the real garbage out there, how is Sponge Bob the mascot for horrible media?

 

Just don't get it.:001_huh:

 

We don't have tv reception, but we do make excellent use of Netflix, even ordering discs of the Sponge Bob series from time to time. This resolves what to us is the biggest problem with media - commericals.

[Guest janainaz]

I consider myself fairly conservative, but am seeing via these threads that perhaps I am more lenient than I thought.

 

I heard a very interesting radio program several years ago about how many of the teens of Christian families tend to have very shallow faith. The speaker explained that IHO, it was because their good, conservative parents had done a great job of thoroughly protecting them from the evils and ugliness of the world. The problem was that when these kids finally come face to face with it, many had no clue as to how to cope. Some lost their moral bearings and become confused about what was right and wrong. Others walked about as lambs and were devoured by the predators. Some ran back home and hid under the bed, refusing to interact with the big, bad world. And some were mesmerized and quickly fell under the siren spell. They didn't know how to react to challenges to their faith, in person or via the media. They were nearly non-functional in modern society. Which is where most of them will have to take up residence.

 

I can see a lot of truth in what the speaker said. I think this applies to many types of conservatism, not just Christians.

 

I knew a woman who fed her family only the most healthy diet imaginable. She spent hours in the kitchen preparing good food. They never allowed junk food. Her sons would literally steal junky snacks (pretzels, cookies, etc.) from my car if I visited there after a trip to the grocery. The minute they were out of her sight they were loading up on sugary treats. IMO, if she had allowed some less than stellar items to be part of their regular diet, perhaps they wouldn't have been so driven to gobble them up behind her back.

 

Another family I know have been fairly isolationist with their six children. The thing they avoid is contact with strangers. At a homeschool gathering, with families they have been around for at least a full year, those children (including the 16 and 13yos) clustered around their parents and refused to join in as the others were working with a guest presenter at the front of the same room. If the mother would have had an apron with multiple strings, there would have been six kids hanging on for dear life. Completely unable to interact, learn, have fun, in a very safe, low key environment.

 

IMO, exposure to some media/popular culture, in a controlled way when children are very young and lessening in restriction as is age appropriate is critical for learning how to live in our world. I have seen those who react fearfully, and I have seen those who sneak around to get access to that from which they have been banned. I don't want either for my dd. I want her to be properly educated as to what is out there and to the possible pit falls. And as mentioned, as they mature, they need to learn how to use their own discernment and judgement. And that takes time and practice, and there will be failures. But better to experience that at home where loving parents can help pick up the pieces if needed or give gentle guidance and ask pointed questions, than when they are finally out on their own and faced with the whole of the culture all at once with no one to shelter them or help them interpret what they are discovering.

 

Unless a parent is willing to severely limit the possibilities for a child's future, then I feel strongly that we must teach them how to live well in a world that does not share our values and beliefs. IMO, the issue is protectionism, and it is critical to find that line between a healthy amount and a damaging amount.

 

I could not have said this better.

[keptwoman]

So are we. I am a fairly strict parent in general--I have firm boundaries and try to enforce them consistently. But when it comes to entertainment, I'm fairly lenient as long as I don't see it affecting their values or behavior. I was more strict at one point...eventually I found that *for me*, it did more to bolster my pride than anything. I find spiritual pride to be much more dangerous to a child's well-being than a few episodes of <insert popular cartoon here>. This is me talking about myself, by the way.

This is me too. I thought I was very lenient actually as far as media content until my 10yo went to a friends house and was allowed to watch a very violent R18 movie that I would NEVER allow in my home. Worst of all.... she asked him whether his mother would allow him to watch it and he said "no" and she still let him!!!!

However that's about way more than just R ratings. Respect mostly.

 

However for the most part I allow my kids fairly free access to most electronic media. My only issues are prn/explicit sex and extreme gratuitous violence.

[LibraryLover]

hold on

Edited January 7, 2010 by LibraryLover

[keptwoman]

I've also learned that when one makes something 'forbidden,' it automatically becomes much more attractive!

 

Mariann

Oh yes. I learnt that too. Because I had a very restricted upbringing and BOY did I let loose when I left home at 17.

 

*Snort* (as I hitch up my own jeans)

 

I also teach them all the bad words myself so that they will know if someone is insulting them.

:lol: Same here.

[hillfarm]

Yep. Case in point: PDG just thinks Hannah Montana is AWESOME (her word).

I asked her what she liked about it, and she said it was the dancing...not the story. She thought the people were "dumb" (her word), but she liked the dancing around parts.

 

My 11yo dd likes Hannah Montana also. I asked her what she liked about it. She told me, "Mom, sometimes it is comforting to watch some kid that is dumber than you have ever been, even at your worst moment. And besides, I think parts of it are funny."

 

Out of curiosity, I popped in on the other thread to see if I fit in there, where I originally assumed I would be on this issue. Wow. I was surprised at how much better I fit here!:D I guess my affinity for Green Day, my belly dance class, and my willingness to calmly explain what certain words mean when dd asks without screaming and driving the car off the road are more telling than I thought. Guess I was Dark Side all along and just didn't know it.

[LibraryLover]

You know one part about allowing media is that kids might think that being gay, fi, is OK. There's that very lovely & generous Ellen, and that cute and loving couple on Modern Family with a baby.

 

If you believe that sort of acceptance displeases God, you wouldn't allow any media. It could happen: " Hey look, mom! Will is nice and cares about Grace. Being gay is cool! I am going to be gay!" Or, "Ellen is so funny and likes the same American Idol I do, I want to be a lesbian!"

 

It's possible for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage. It's possible.

 

Edited for facetious clarity: smirk, wink, giant grin, tongue out smilies.

Edited January 7, 2010 by LibraryLover

[justamouse]

You know one part about allowing media is that kids might think that being gay, fi, is OK. There's that very lovely & generous Ellen, and that cute and loving couple on Modern Family with a baby.

 

If you believe that sort of acceptance displeases God, you wouldn't allow any media. It could happen: " Hey look, mom! Will is nice and cares about Grace. Being gay is cool! I am going to be gay!" Or, "Ellen is so funny and likes the same American Idol I do, I want to be a lesbian!"

 

It's possible for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage. It's possible.

 

 

Do you believe that being gay is as simple as a mental decision?

[Guest janainaz]

You know one part about allowing media is that kids might think that being gay, fi, is OK. There's that very lovely & generous Ellen, and that cute and loving couple on Modern Family with a baby.

 

If you believe that sort of acceptance displeases God, you wouldn't allow any media. It could happen: " Hey look, mom! Will is nice and cares about Grace. Being gay is cool! I am going to be gay!" Or, "Ellen is so funny and likes the same American Idol I do, I want to be a lesbian!"

 

It's possible for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage. It's possible.

 

This mentality would also believe that your child being exposed to someone cool that smokes would potentially influence your kid to smoke. If I were to shield my child from every bad habit and sin, I would be forced to keep them locked up. My kids will be exposed to everything under the sun over the course of their lives. My job as a parent is to show them the way, to teach them how to love, and at some point, let them go. To me, the need to shield your kids to that extent shows absolutely no faith in what you are teaching them at all.

[Renee in NC]

Do you believe that being gay is as simple as a mental decision?

 

She was being facetious!:D

[LibraryLover]

She was being facetious!:D

 

 

LOL Thank you. I thought the plain yellow pumpkin becoming a golden carraige gave it away, so I left out all the :D;):lol:.

 

I won't make that mistake again! :D:lol::tongue_smilie: & ;)

[Peela]

You know one part about allowing media is that kids might think that being gay, fi, is OK. There's that very lovely & generous Ellen, and that cute and loving couple on Modern Family with a baby.

 

If you believe that sort of acceptance displeases God, you wouldn't allow any media. It could happen: " Hey look, mom! Will is nice and cares about Grace. Being gay is cool! I am going to be gay!" Or, "Ellen is so funny and likes the same American Idol I do, I want to be a lesbian!"

 

It's possible for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage. It's possible.

 

Yes. On the one hand, we give the media way too much power and underestimate the home environment- most kids are not going to turn gay no matter how acceptable it appears on TV. On the other, the media can be insidious in what it does place in our minds- adults as well as children.

 

Lucky for me though, it would not be the end of the world for me if either of my kids turned out gay, so I don't have that one to worry about :)