Birth control...(see inside)

[BearWallowSchool]

I’m new here, but I’ve been lurking for awhile. You all are just so good at giving advice , I had to finally join the group and ask a question I can’t ask IRL. :tongue_smilie:

 

Have any of you “successfully†used the umm….â€withdrawl†method for birth control for a considerable amount of time. I have always been curious if this method has worked for anyone? My husband doesn’t want me to take the pill b/c he’s afraid it is bad for my health. I have to agree w/ him b/c I always have horrible break outs, mood swings, weight gain, etc. And I’m not sure that the pill lines up w/ my beliefs. Cond*ms are just well…not fun. We are running out of options…:confused: I know that the results will may vary depending on how well your DH is able to “control†himself. My DH is surprisingly pretty good at it. ;) I know that it is not 100%, but I'm just looking for something that will buy me a little time. Right now I have a 2 year old and an 8 month old and I just like to wait a few years before another. Some reassurance please, or am I kidding myself? :glare:

[Caribbean Queen]

If he is really skillful at it I belive it will work. One oops, may be all all it takes for you to get pregnant again, though.

 

The book Taking Charge of Your Fertililty by Toni Weschler teaches you how to know when your ovulate so that you can avoid or 'achieve' pregnancy. It is like the old Natural Family Planning, but improved. It may line up with your believes about birth control.

[teachermom2834]

I haven't used the method but a very close friend of mine became pregnant without even having intercourse. So, it can happen even if the little swimmers are just nearby.

 

I'm sure that particular scenario is rare. I guess it is a question of how upset would you be if you became pregnant? I have a friend who used that method successfully for about 5 years before planning a pregnancy and got pregnant the first try. I'm sure it decreases your chances significantly but if you REALLY do not want to be pregnant I would recommend something else.

 

Marie

[olan719]

Well, my twins are five, and it's been successful for us since then. ;)

 

I also don't like taking BCP, but using this method, I am okay with the fact I COULD get pregnant again, KWIM?? But that is not the plan...for now. I also know what times of the month are not good (meaning I am ovulating) so we abstain. I second the book recommended above - it is great resource for avoiding or achieving pregnancy - whichever is your pick.

 

That said, DH believes the withdrawal method is about 100% effective, and that it is virtually impossible for me to get pregnant. Considering I am the one with the advanced degree in biology and DH is in banking, I've secretly hoped I would eventually get pregnant so I could say "TOLD YOU SO!!!" :lol:

[Emmy]

I think whether you depend on this method depends on how devastated you will be if it fails LOL- it could certainly work for a while, particularly if you combine it with a bit of calendar method maybe avoiding around your ovulation time, but eventually I would think it will catch up with you.

[emeraldjoy]

I am not sure about that method, per se.

There are others that are pretty effective.

We used a bead method (not The bead method) that primarily charts mucous. According to what I notice I put a bead on a string. It is 92% effective. To make more like 98% I can add basal body temperatures.

The book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" I have heard recommended a lot.

Your husband is right, the pill may not be good for your health.

Let me know if you want more information.

emerald

[emeraldjoy]

For those that use this method I am curious.

Is it frustrating for him? Does he feel um....satisfied?

e

[SheWillFly]

The book Taking Charge of Your Fertililty by Toni Weschler

:iagree: Read it.

 

I wouldn't use this "method" if you are not open to having more children earlier than you would like. Also, it isn't just your husband who needs to have self-control in the matter.;)

[EKS]

It worked for me for years.

[Capt_Uhura]

Yes, I used it for years (10yrs or so) successfully, and getting pregnant the 1st or 2nd month trying 3x using this method. However, I followed my cycles using Weschler's book above and I knew when I was ovulating. If anything happened during that time, we used a condom. B/c of really bad periods, I followed my cycles closely. Now, I did ultimately get pregnant but that was more DH wanting another baby and I think either consciously or subconsciously not w/drawing in time. He knew it at the time when it happened. My daughter is now almost 3yrs old. :lol: For us, we were considering a 3rd although DH hadn't yet convinced me. If I knew in my heart I didn't want any more kids, I wouldn't use this method. I got to the point where I didn't need to chart temps, I could just look our for CM (and that's not Charlotte Mason :lol:) but you can have and then not have fertile CM but not ovulate. I then went through another ovulation cycle a week later. So if we had gone by fertile CM, and waited, we would have been smack in the middle of ovulation. You really need to chart temps and CM for months and see if you're regular or not.

 

My friend and i have a joke. What do you call it when the POAP (pull out and pray) method fails? (insert girl or boy name of choice).

 

Good luck!

[BearWallowSchool]

DH believes the withdrawal method is about 100% effective, and that it is virtually impossible for me to get pregnant.

 

This is EXACTLY my DH!!! I guess that's why I'm the one asking the questions and he isn't worried! :lol:

 

My cycles are so crazy! They have never been regular in my life. I don't know if I've had two periods in a row in my life. I guess thats why I'm so paranoid about b/c. I don't have a clue about when I'm ovulating! :glare:

[Capt_Uhura]

I think my DH felt satisfied but I strangely didn't. The only way I can explain it is not having a sense of closure about the interaction. BUt overall, I didn't mind it. I think it does remove you from the situation .... b/c you're having to pay attention to what's going on and can't lose yourself in the moment.

 

All in all, I really wouldn't use this method during ovulation time. THere are men that have pre-ej*&&*( that are loaded w/ sperm. I would either abstain or use a condom until after ovulation (never before).

[olan719]

My cycles are so crazy! They have never been regular in my life. I don't know if I've had two periods in a row in my life. I guess thats why I'm so paranoid about b/c. I don't have a clue about when I'm ovulating! :glare:

 

Then I totally recommend getting the Taking Charge of your Fertility book. You will feel a lot better after you have more knowledge about how your body works. It really is an effective method if you are charting correctly.

 

As for your DH, all I can say is I completely understand. :lol: Seriously, though, you do need to be okay with getting pregnant again. If that is an absolute "no-go", you might want to try something else.

[lionfamily1999]

I’m new here, but I’ve been lurking for awhile. You all are just so good at giving advice , I had to finally join the group and ask a question I can’t ask IRL. :tongue_smilie:

 

Have any of you “successfully†used the umm….â€withdrawl†method for birth control for a considerable amount of time. I have always been curious if this method has worked for anyone? My husband doesn’t want me to take the pill b/c he’s afraid it is bad for my health. I have to agree w/ him b/c I always have horrible break outs, mood swings, weight gain, etc. And I’m not sure that the pill lines up w/ my beliefs. Cond*ms are just well…not fun. We are running out of options…:confused: I know that the results will may vary depending on how well your DH is able to “control†himself. My DH is surprisingly pretty good at it. ;) I know that it is not 100%, but I'm just looking for something that will buy me a little time. Right now I have a 2 year old and an 8 month old and I just like to wait a few years before another. Some reassurance please, or am I kidding myself? :glare:

It's really up to him, how well it works ;)

 

Dh is very careful. He does not forget (probably the biggest reason it does not work for some) and he has a TON of self control. If it was me, we'd probably have at least 10 kids by now :p

 

Both of our sons were on purpose oopsies. That is the only problem I see with this method. Two times, we both thought 'wouldn't it be nice to have a baby,' two times he did NOT p.o., and we have two sons :)

For those that use this method I am curious.

Is it frustrating for him? Does he feel um....satisfied?

e

Money shot.

 

Dh is very satisfied.

 

IykwIm.

[BearWallowSchool]

For those that use this method I am curious.

Is it frustrating for him? Does he feel um....satisfied?

e

 

My husband is totally okay with it. I've heard that some men don't like it but he doesn't seem to have a problem. It may be b/c he doesn't want me to take the pill and it's better than a cond*m. :D

[Tree House Academy]

I’m new here, but I’ve been lurking for awhile. You all are just so good at giving advice , I had to finally join the group and ask a question I can’t ask IRL. :tongue_smilie:

 

Have any of you “successfully†used the umm….â€withdrawl†method for birth control for a considerable amount of time. I have always been curious if this method has worked for anyone? My husband doesn’t want me to take the pill b/c he’s afraid it is bad for my health. I have to agree w/ him b/c I always have horrible break outs, mood swings, weight gain, etc. And I’m not sure that the pill lines up w/ my beliefs. Cond*ms are just well…not fun. We are running out of options…:confused: I know that the results will may vary depending on how well your DH is able to “control†himself. My DH is surprisingly pretty good at it. ;) I know that it is not 100%, but I'm just looking for something that will buy me a little time. Right now I have a 2 year old and an 8 month old and I just like to wait a few years before another. Some reassurance please, or am I kidding myself? :glare:

 

 

I think this could work...IF you know your body and your cycles and you only use the withdrawal method when you are not ovulating or in danger of ovulating. In other words, if he withdrawals during the times when you are not fertile, then sure. If he withdrawals when you are getting ready to ovulate/ovualing, then you are taking a really high risk and trusting him to be pretty precise.

 

Sad to admit, I used this method with a high school boyfriend. I didn't become pregnant....however, YEARS later, he told me that he really had little control and sometimes he "couldn't help it." He just never told me. Thankfully, it must have been during a time when I was not fertile (THANK GOD), because, when I did get pregnant with my kids, it took ONE TIME for each of them. Not one month of trying, ONE TIME. He also has two kids now, so it wasn't him either. Could have been our ages, but *shudder* to think of what could have happened!

[Capt_Uhura]

This is EXACTLY my DH!!! I guess that's why I'm the one asking the questions and he isn't worried! :lol:

 

My cycles are so crazy! They have never been regular in my life. I don't know if I've had two periods in a row in my life. I guess thats why I'm so paranoid about b/c. I don't have a clue about when I'm ovulating! :glare:

 

That's where charting will help you. I had to chart b/c of horrible periods that were irregular. I had to know when my period would start to plan business travel etc. You chart, note CM, when your AM temp rises, you've ovulated. Your period will start 12-14 days later. I also always knew i was pregnant by charting. I'd have a 1 day drop in temp and then it would go up again. So by charting, you can tell after you've ovulated, not WHEN you will ovulate. Ovulation window lasts about a week. So fertile CM starts about 3-4days prior to ovulation and then the egg is viable for a few days after ovulation. I think we generally waited 4days post-ovulation for POAP or regular, other than that we used a condom.

[emeraldjoy]

The doctor that taught me the method that we use just recently said that it is extremely rare for woman to have a irregular cyles. He said that charting over time usually will indicate a method to the madness. The irregularity will eventually show some sort of pattern.

There are exceptions as always.

e

This is EXACTLY my DH!!! I guess that's why I'm the one asking the questions and he isn't worried! :lol:

 

My cycles are so crazy! They have never been regular in my life. I don't know if I've had two periods in a row in my life. I guess thats why I'm so paranoid about b/c. I don't have a clue about when I'm ovulating! :glare:

[Tutor]

I PMed you.

[stripe]

I highly recommend working on determining a fertility window for yourself. That way, you don't have to worry during infertile times and can do whatever you want, and during fertile times, you will be able to make a more informed decision.

 

If you find all that charting off putting, you may want to look at this natural family planning technique, developed at Georgetown's Institute for Reproductive Health, called the Two Day Technique.

http://www.irh.org/RTP-TDM.htm

It was designed to be easy to use by women who may not have access to all the charts and thermometers (in other words, it can be done even by women who cannot read and write), so is more accessible to various situations of women around the world. I'd imagine it beats withdrawal hands down.

[Impish]

Princess is three, and she's our youngest. So, its been working for us so far.

 

I keep telling Wolf, if he's not willing to get a vasectomy, we're going to get 'caught' sooner or later. But, he refuses.

 

He just gave away a bunch of baby gear...I say we've got about three more months until a positive shows up. :lol:

 

On the other hand, he did keep the bassinet and swing, so maybe not...:lol:

[*Inna*]

We tried this for about a week.

Our little boy is almost two months old now. ;)

[brinkseven]

We tried this once....our son is 10yrs old.

 

I just about spewed coffee all over the keyboard after reading the tags.:lol:

[melissel]

Why not look into other barrier methods, like a diaphragm or sponges? Combined with a spermicide, those are as effective as condoms, I believe.

[myfatherslily]

DH and I basically did this for 9 months or so. BUT it's very important to know that semen is released in small amounts before the actual "moment". That semen DOES contain sperm. And we all know that it only takes one sperm to make a baby:) So while your chances of getting pregnant are significantly decreased, it is NOT NOT NOT 100% effective. It's not just about how good his timing/control is. You must be willing to accidently get pregnant.

[LauraGB]

We tried that method once - the result was twins;).

 

(the tags for this thread made me laugh really hard)

[Lovedtodeath]

For those that use this method I am curious.

Is it frustrating for him? Does he feel um....satisfied?

e

Neither one of us is satisfied.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Why not look into other barrier methods, like a diaphragm or sponges? Combined with a spermicide, those are as effective as condoms, I believe.

We have been using contraceptive film in combination with pulling out. It will all be better soon. DH had a V done about a month ago. I used a diaphragm for 5 years successfully without pulling out.

[Garga]

It doesn't work. Sperm is in pre-ejaculate, so even if he pulls out, it's already too late.

[SnowWhite]

It didn't work for us (I was going to wait 6 months after a m/c before having Joshua... he was conceived after 2 periods on month 3). Have you tried different styles of c*nd*ms? The thinner more "sensitive" ones are nicer.

[KS_]

Why not look into other barrier methods, like a diaphragm or sponges? Combined with a spermicide, those are as effective as condoms, I believe.

 

We have been using a double dose of foam spermicide for about 16 years, but I just recently found out that nonoxynol-9 breaks down in your body into a xenoestrogen. I have been having awful headaches combined w/ nausea and vomiting around my cycle for a number of years now, and have done away w/ most of our plastic food storage containers because of the possible xenoestrogen issue, but had no idea about the nonoxynol-9. . .

 

So the foam is out for us, and I ordered Taking Charge of Your Fertility and we will be charting. . .

[runamuk]

Like a few posters before me, I recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. We used that method for 7 years and had only the two pregnancies we planned. My cycles have never been regular, so this really helped me in knowing when I was fertile and when we needed to either abstain or use something to prevent pregnancy.

[Pretty in Pink]

My husband exercises a great deal of self-control in this department. In fact, when we got pregnant w/ no. 4 we were actively avoiding pregnancy, going so far as to avoid intercourse during my ovulation window as well as several days preceeding. He p.o. every. single. time. that month and I still got pregnant. Anecdotal, I know...

 

As far as him being satisfied, well, he doesn't mind too much. There are ways to make p.o. more enticing for him...

[kmacnchs]

It works for us. I keep track of my cycles (which are pretty regular) so I let him know when he can do whatever and when he needs to control himself (when I am ovulating, when I'm on my period, and when I am neither). Of course we can only use this method once I get my period after I have the baby...until then, he has no freedom b/c who knows?

 

It definitely depends on your dh. Mine suggested it. He is very disciplined in part b/c one of his friends got pg in hs b/c her bf was not disciplined in the method...

[lionfamily1999]

It doesn't * work. Sperm is in pre-ejaculate, so even if he pulls out, it's already too late.

*always

[Guest janainaz]

I don't like the BC pill. I also don't want either dh or I to have any surgeries to keep me from getting pregnant, it just does not feel right to me. We both feel like our family is complete with two kids. As for the method, I have not gotten pregnant without wanting to in 9 years. As soon as I decided I wanted baby #2, I was pregnant. Like someone else said, certain methods are only good for you if you would not be devasted with a pregnancy.

[stripe]

Of course we can only use this method once I get my period after I have the baby...until then, he has no freedom b/c who knows?

 

I understand what you're getting at. Read up on lactation amenorrhea. You can more easily detect that way the cycle BEFORE your first period after childbirth, and that can be helpful.

 

There seems to be a massive round up here:

http://nfp.freehostia.com/lam.html

 

I found this book to be helpful: Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing by Sheila Kippley, but I think on the Couple to Couple League website, you get basically all the factual tips (the meat, if you will) on what she suggests in the book.

Edited October 26, 2009 by stripe

[kmacnchs]

I JUST got my period (my son is almost 7 mo)...oh well, maybe next time :)

 

I understand what you're getting at. Read up on lactation amenorrhea. You can more easily detect that way the cycle BEFORE your first period after childbirth, and that can be helpful.

 

There seems to be a massive round up here:

http://nfp.freehostia.com/lam.html

 

I found this book to be helpful: Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing by Sheila Kippley, but I think on the Couple to Couple League website, you get basically all the factual tips (the meat, if you will) on what she suggests in the book.

[2squared]

Maybe I'm not understanding, but why wouldn't you use Natural Family Planning if you don't want to use artificial birth control? We use NFP with 100% success (so far). I do cervical checks near daily, and I pay attention to my body's fertility signs. I could chart, but I just don't.

 

Seems like NFP would be much preferable to the withdrawal method - for both of you!

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

I understand what you're getting at. Read up on lactation amenorrhea. You can more easily detect that way the cycle BEFORE your first period after childbirth, and that can be helpful.

 

There seems to be a massive round up here:

http://nfp.freehostia.com/lam.html

 

I found this book to be helpful: Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing by Sheila Kippley, but I think on the Couple to Couple League website, you get basically all the factual tips (the meat, if you will) on what she suggests in the book.

 

I ditto this. I've been able to detect ovulation, or possible upcoming ovulation, every time even with very long, crazy cycles.

[abbeyej]

According to my GYN, the success rate for withdrawal (done each and every time) is about 96%. So if your husband is committed, the success rate is up there with most artificial methods. (Which means yes, there are occasional pregnancies, but not frequently.) The problem with withdrawal is that it's not all that much fun, lol, and requires thinking about it and commitment to it during the act... Meh.

 

I definitely agree with others about reading more about *your* fertility. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is an easy, quick, clear read. The Art of Natural Family Planning has lots more information, but it's also more dense and has a strong religious perspective against most forms of birth control. Still, whether or not you agree with their religious perspective, there's a lot of good information there.

[the4Rs]

My husband and I have used this method for over two years and it has worked well for us. All that to say he finds it thoroughly enjoyable and for the most part I do. We have both mentioned recently that we miss the intimacy though so we are trying to decide if we want another one or if I should get the Essure procedure done if we are finished having children so we can get that intimacy back.

 

But yes, it has been highly effective for us and no hormonal or barrier methods to make me a mess or make love making uncomfortable. :)

[smrtmama]

Give condoms another try, but skip the latex ones w/ the spermicide on them. Try Durex Avanti Bare (non-latex) condoms with a high quality water-based or silicone-based lubricant (not the cheap KY stuff).

[smrtmama]

According to my GYN, the success rate for withdrawal (done each and every time) is about 96%. So if your husband is committed, the success rate is up there with most artificial methods. (Which means yes, there are occasional pregnancies, but not frequently.) The problem with withdrawal is that it's not all that much fun, lol, and requires thinking about it and commitment to it during the act... Meh.

 

I definitely agree with others about reading more about *your* fertility. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is an easy, quick, clear read. The Art of Natural Family Planning has lots more information, but it's also more dense and has a strong religious perspective against most forms of birth control. Still, whether or not you agree with their religious perspective, there's a lot of good information there.

 

I have never seen any stats that give the withdrawal "method" a higher success rate than 90% and most give it closer to 80%.

[justamouse]

Give condoms another try, but skip the latex ones w/ the spermicide on them. Try Durex Avanti Bare (non-latex) condoms with a high quality water-based or silicone-based lubricant (not the cheap KY stuff).

 

I love that kind-or, if you can afford them, the Naturalamb. I've been through every single BC there is. And gotten pregnant every time. And I have a latex allergy so we went to the poly/lamb condoms. Avanti came out with new ones that rock. And if you put some liquid silk lube in the condom it makes it even better.

 

And, uh...you know you don't have to have them on the whole time, right? You can put them on a little later, but there is semen in pre so you can't get too close.

[smrtmama]

I love that kind-or, if you can afford them, the Naturalamb. I've been through every single BC there is. And gotten pregnant every time. And I have a latex allergy so we went to the poly/lamb condoms. Avanti came out with new ones that rock. And if you put some liquid silk lube in the condom it makes it even better.

 

And, uh...you know you don't have to have them on the whole time, right? You can put them on a little later, but there is semen in pre so you can't get too close.

 

We're sharing a lovely TMI moment here, as Liquid Silk is the brand I recommend, too. Aquos is also good, if water-based is your thing. Four plus straight years of being pregnant and/or breastfeeding makes a girl happy for the wide variety of lubricants on the market.

[tricia]

My mother in law told me she and her hubby practiced this way. FYI-they have 12 children!!:001_huh:

[katemary63]

We have never used any birth control method other then withdrawal and paying attention to my cycles. We don't agree with the pill on moral grounds as it can cause early abortions. My DH refused to use a condom and I didn't really want to try that either. We had four children; all planned to the date of conception. Every single time I wanted to get pregnant, I did. We never got pregnant any other time. My DH finally got his vasectomy about 3 years ago. We have been married for 25 years, so that means we used this method successfully for about 20 years without a single accidental pregnancy. And yes, we had/ have sex often! :D

I do have to say that our attitude was that if we ever did get pregnant accidentally, we would be perfectly happy with that. We were never in a situation where if there were an unplanned pregnancy, we would have been unhappy about it. Quite the contrary, I kind of wish it had happened. But the point is, this turned out to be the perfect method for us. I'm not sure what I would have done if I had seriously not wanted another child and needed a method that was more for sure.

[katemary63]

My mother in law told me she and her hubby practiced this way. FYI-they have 12 children!!:001_huh:

 

:lol:

[coralloyd]

We have been using the ”withdrawl” method for 3 years now, with NO tracking or abstaining during ovulation (I really have no idea when I ovulate & I have No problems at all getting pegnant). Dh prefers this to a condom anyday. So far so good ;).