MIL asks me a question about HSing....

[Guest Cindie2dds]

We were visiting my in-laws who live next door and we get along great. She was a little reluctant about homeschooling, still is, only because it isn't normal. We aren't normal in anything we do, so this shouldn't surprise her, but that's another post.

 

She asked me, "What are you going to do when your children ask to go to school like normal kids when they are older? Are you going to let them?" :001_huh:

 

I have, obviously, been living in a dream world because I *never* thought about what to say to them about school. I never imagined it coming up. Oh, well, I had a deer-in-the-headlights look on my face and responded with the most eloquent of statements: Umm, well, I don't know.

 

We plan on homeschooling through high school for several reasons, so can you all tell me what you said to your kids when they asked?

 

Thanks!

[Jean in Wisc]

We were visiting my in-laws who live next door and we get along great. She was a little reluctant about homeschooling, still is, only because it isn't normal. We aren't normal in anything we do, so this shouldn't surprise her, but that's another post.

 

She asked me, "What are you going to do when your children ask to go to school like normal kids when they are older? Are you going to let them?" :001_huh:

 

I have, obviously, been living in a dream world because I *never* thought about what to say to them about school. I never imagined it coming up. Oh, well, I had a deer-in-the-headlights look on my face and responded with the most eloquent of statements: Umm, well, I don't know.

 

We plan on homeschooling through high school for several reasons, so can you all tell me what you said to your kids when they asked?

 

Thanks!

 

They never asked. They would have cried if I had told them they had to go to public school. They have seen ps through the eyes of their peers in outside activities, and it doesn't interest them a bit.

 

We have good things going on in our lives--lots of opportunities they could not be a part of if they went to ps. They know this.

 

Jean

[Chris in VA]

Mine have only asked to be homeschooled, not the other way around. Ds17 chose public school, but that was largely because of the damage done by drugs and alcohol to our family. He is very social, but now learning to be a member of our family, too--I think he would homeschool if he had not had the experiences he did in public school.

[elegantlion]

I don't know is a valid answer, imo.

 

My son has never asked to go back, he was in private school for pre-k and K. We are now in our 6th year and plan to homeschool through high school. We're not "normal" either and never plan to be.

 

At this point my ds thinks going to a school building, being there for hours, and having limited free time is weird. If he ever changes his mind we'll list out the pros and cons and discuss it. Homeschooling fits his learning style and our lifestyle and I hope he continues to see it that way.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

Jean,

 

I'm so glad to hear they never asked. My daughter is 6 and we discussed with her that her best friend was going to school. Not a word from her other than "why?" I didn't quite know how to answer that question either. ;)

[cathmom]

I wouldn't let my dc make such an important decision. My oldest mentioned a couple of times about going to middle school. I finally sat him down and said that there was no way at all he was going back to school (he went for K and 1st) and to just forget about it. He did.

 

The younger dc, who have always been homeschooled, have never asked and are very happy with homeschooling, especially when they hear the school bus rumble down our street at 6:30 AM!!

 

Yesterday I overheard my just turned 6 yo explaining to my 3 yo twins, "In this family we don't go to school. We have school right here!"

[Dayle in Guatemala]

We are dealing with this now with our oldest. Her best friend here is going to school next year and, of course, now she wants to go too.

 

Here was our answer: "No. Our family homeschools and that's the way it is."

 

Now, we have extenuating circumstances! There really isn't any school here that I would send my dc to. So, it's easy to say no. If we were in a situation where there was a viable option, I might have to change my delivery, but, I believe the answer would be the same.

[ConnieB]

Mine have never truly asked....ok, DS was in tears almost daily in about the 1st or 2nd grade claiming to want to go to "real" school. It took me a while to figure out WHY he suddenly wanted to go to school somewhere else......turned out that the new neighbors had their child picked up by the school bus every day....and DS wanted to ride the bus! So....we went downtown and rode the public transportation system for about an hour....sticky seats, smelly people, lurching ride.....and DS says "ok, I don't want to go to school now". Crisis averted!

 

 

But seriously....as I approach having the eldest in highschool (next year) I wonder if that subject will come up. Like I did with my son I plan to figure out the reasons for the request and will then deal with the issue based on the reasons. While my personal hope is that I get to homeschool them all through high school, I will try to be open about their requests.

 

The few times that life has broken me and I've made hints (or outright declarations) that I may just put them in school, it's been met with protests, loud and serious. It's a way of life that grows on you and the kid know they're better off at home. Give your kids time to feel that too....and if by chance they don't....then you can cross that bridge when it comes. After all, your MIL isn't advising her other DIL's to make plans to bring their kids home from public schools if the kids don't like school is she??

 

Proof is in the pudding....keep MIL in the loop about all the wonderful things you and the kids are doing (outings, special experiments, achievements both big and small). SHOW her that homeschooling is not harming your children, but instead they are THRIVING because of it. It's the unknown that is scary.

 

Perhaps your MIL really just needs reassurance that you have the kids' best interests in mind....not your own desire to homeschool through high school (I say this because you mentioned not being "normal" in many areas...so perhaps she sees this as a YOU issue). Let her know that you will be open to what is best for your kids as each issue comes up. If that's not good enough for her, then nothing will be, so it's time to pass the bean dip, as this group is fond of saying!

 

And besides, what's Normal?

Edited September 23, 2009 by ConnieB
typos!

[phathui5]

For the mil: "No, we're going to lock them in a closet."

 

As far as asking, so far none of the kids want to go. If they asked before high school, I would explain to them why we homeschool and tell them that they can choose when they're teenagers.

[ma23peas]

Mine have never asked, I could see the curiosity in them as to what school was like, well they hear that enough from their cousins who tell them they wish THEY could be homeschooled and go on to share bad stories. I don't talk down schools, but when they see a slew of police cars on lockdown at a local school...(drug bust) it makes them draw some of their own conclusions. We pray for the schools and honestly tell them that God needs children in all places, that HE has spoken to their father and I about this and we'll continue to do what is best for them.

 

It also helps a great deal that they are highly involved in groups that most happen to be homeschool....speech/debate/scouts/irish dancing/gymnastics/horse stuff/book clubs/church youth/....they see so many homeschooled students doing the same thing that it gives them that extra 'I fit in' comfort...which is not my goal...but for youth, it helps.

 

Tara

[Guest Cindie2dds]

Thanks for all your support and amazing answers! She went to the local public school, so did dh. It was bad 20 years ago when he was there and even worse now. Schools in our area aren't that great, so it's not an option. There is a private school I like, but it's three hours away; not an option. ;)

 

I'll just keep reminding her how our dds are thriving, which they are, and leave it at that!

[ChristusG]

I really do not expect my kids to ask about going to public school. When you are raised one way (homeschooling) then to you it is normal. If they do ask about going to school, I'll reiterate to them why we homeschool (however, my 5 year old DD already knows the basics of why we homeschool). And if they continued to ask to go to school, we would sit down and talk about the "whys" and the "what ifs". Who educates my children is a huge decision and a huge factor that will effect their life....it's not for them to make at such a young age (even high school). It is for my husband and I to make.

[OnTheBrink]

Children, being children, don't really have a lot of say in how they're educated. Parents decide that. Naturally, a child's desire might be taken into account, depending on the reasons for the desire. And, an older child (high school age, maybe) might have more weight in his desire to go to ps over homeschool, depending on what his career aspirations are and what opportunities the ps offers toward that goal.

 

I think it's silly for people to ask such a question. I mean, really. We home school because we believe it to be best for the child. The child doesn't get to determine what's best for him in this area; they don't have enough wisdom or life experience to see the big picture or foresee pitfalls or advantages. If we give our child medicine and it tastes bad, but it's the best medicine for the ailment, are we going to switch to something less effective but tastier because the child wants to? No, it's not what's best for the child. Same thing with education, imho.

[jananc]

Mine were never interested until about middle school, when they wanted to go to school with their friends from church. I've always just told my dc that God told me & their dad that we are to homeschool them, and we will continue until He tells us to stop ;). Also, I've always felt strongly that middle school years are the WORST times to be in public schools, so I'll do anything I have to do to homeschool them through those years.

 

By the time my ds reached high school age, he was no longer interested in public schools as he had heard too many stories from his friends, and he is happy to be homeschooled. I expect (hope?) that will be the case for my dd (now 13).

[littlebug42]

My oldest asked once but her reasoning was so that she could have recess. I explained to her what an actual school day would be like and that recess was such a small part of it. I also pointed out all of the reasons why she has it better at home. She has not asked again. My youngest has no desire and has told me repeatedly that she needs to learn so when she has kids, she can teach them exactly the same way. I know for a fact that as long as we live in the school district that we do, there is no chance that they will ever attend public school and I currently have no intention regardless of the school district.

[Moni]

Here was our answer: "No. Our family homeschools and that's the way it is."

.

 

Same here.

The kids start out in homeschool, so it is not an issue of "going back."

Mine more "want to go to PS" because....who knows why! They don't know what it's like, curiosity, their friends are there, recess looks fun from driving past the schools on the road, etc.

 

And...there is nothing wrong with an "I don't know" answer.

So you don't know yet. You don't have to know everything right now.

 

MIL wants to know and you don't know. She has to wait in line here. ;)

 

If you don't want to get into it with MIL, consider telling her you will think about it when September rolls around.

If she asks in the Summer, reiterate you are going to re-think it......when September rolls around.

 

That way you only need to encounter this once per year. On September 1st, at which time you decide to homeschool until August 31st.

You can have this same conversation yearly. Once. :lol:

 

:seeya:

Edited September 23, 2009 by Moni

[Janet in WA]

My sons never asked. And they ARE normal kids.

[Nicole M]

For the mil: "No, we're going to lock them in a closet."

 

 

Excellent!

 

I would not have thought of something that snappy, though. I would probably say, if asked, "I will cross that bridge when I come to it. If I come to it." Ultimately, I don't think I need to justify or explain to anyone what I decide to do with my children, even the grandparents.

[mom2agang]

I get this comment all the time from my parents. I just say we homeschool because we feel it is the best for our family. I also let them know my kids won't have the option of going to public school.Sometimes in life you don't always get what you want. I tell my kids we homeschool and why and why we don't "do" public school. They have grown up knowing it is not a option. My oldest doesnt even have that desire. Just kinda watch out they dont try to influence the children on what "normal" kids do.

[Guest]

We took my son to our local preschool a few weeks ago for some testing. It was so colorful and there were so many toys that when we left, he said, "I want to go back there, mommy!" (Heck, *I* wanted to go back there!) I just told him that no, we do school at home. I told him how much I would miss him and that if he went to school all day long he would miss out on the fun things we get to do together, like going on field trips (we had just done one the week before) and going over to "Chad's house" to play, which is where we were headed. It seems to have placated him for the time being. :)

[sassenach]

1. Sending children to government school isn't normal, it's cultural. I would correct her on that.

 

2. Our oldest has earnestly asked to go. We have agreed to high school and we're considering sending her back next year, for eighth grade. We will take this school year to pray about it. My ds7 will probably never ask. Dd5 is already asking, but the answer for her is, "No, we homeschool.". My goal is to hs them through middle school. Homeschooling high school is optional in my mind.

[Impish]

My MIL threw a fit that we weren't putting Tazzie and Princess into kindy, because 'they deserved their chance'. At least you have some time! :lol:

 

I don't plan to send the kids to ps ever. And that's what I tell ppl that ask about high school. I simply don't see the need. There's nothing at high school that is not doable at home, or via tutors, labs, etc.

 

Heck, the Prom isn't even a big deal here. :lol:

[paula j]

My ds wanted to return to ps for high school this year. I had taken him out after 2nd grade because he has severe migraines and had brain surgery to remove a cyst. He has not had bad migraines for some time, if he gets one at home he takes some ibuprofen and lays down in the dark for about 15 min to 30 min and is ok. When he had them at school when he was younger by the time he got home they lasted 2-3 days. He said now that he is older he controls the headaches so he thought he would be ok with ps and he wanted to be in sports and go to technical school.

 

I let him try it and it only lasted one week. Every day he came home with a severe migraine and the final day he didn't even make it home - he threw up on the bus. We took him back out and I don't think he will ever want to go back. I am still considering letting him go to technical school though and in a year or two we will do some college courses, probably online for math and science.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I really do not expect my kids to ask about going to public school. When you are raised one way (homeschooling) then to you it is normal. If they do ask about going to school, I'll reiterate to them why we homeschool (however, my 5 year old DD already knows the basics of why we homeschool). And if they continued to ask to go to school, we would sit down and talk about the "whys" and the "what ifs". Who educates my children is a huge decision and a huge factor that will effect their life....it's not for them to make at such a young age (even high school). It is for my husband and I to make.

 

This is us as well. Also, the majority of children my children know, and there are quite a lot of them, are all home schooled. It's our normal. If the question comes up we will explain why we home school them. If they don't like it ... well ... that's not the preferable situation but, frankly, quite irrelevant in this area.

[JustGin]

Mine have at various times and for various reasons thought they wanted to go to traditional school. After feeling listened to and then being reassured ;) that this is not an option they eventually moved on to other things. I've made a point over the years to not put down other school methods while at the same time pointing out the benefits of our choice. For years we've had a tradition of doing something fun (usually involving ice cream :D) shortly after schools are back in session and we always make a point to pause and take joy in the fact that we aren't behind a desk at that moment.

 

Whenever they get to do something or be somewhere that a traditional classroom schedule wouldn't allow, I make sure they are aware of it in a fun way and we've had lots of honest discussions over the years about the pros and cons of both ways. I'm not afraid of their questions because I'm very confident in our choice and I think that helps a lot.

 

We have a "no school on your birthday rule" but since my oldest dd's birthday is in August, she gets to choose her "day" sometime during our school year. Last week she was trying to get me to give permission for her to see the midnight showing of the new Twilight movie when it comes out in November, but as it is (studpidly imho) on a school night I was not acquiesing. Then I remembered her "holiday" and offered that she could take that Friday as her day. Of course she jumped at that. Happy girl! You can bet I, laughingly pointed out this would not be an option if she were going to the highschool and she agreed. She is content now about homeschool, but she went through a rough patch this last spring where she thought not getting to choose the public option was rotten. It was hard for her but again, I think her dad and I being confident in our choice is a huge help.

[mama2cntrykids]

I would just say that for right now, Hsing is the best option for your family and you'll cross other bridges when you get to them. But for right now, everyone is happy with the arrangement.

 

With our situation, both boys have gone to PS, so they know what it's like. My oldest when for K and 2nd and he says that he will NEVER, EVER go back. He says that if I told him he had to that he wouldn't get on the bus and he wouldn't get in the van for me to drive him. He did fine while he was in 2nd grade, but now that he's HSing again, I would be hard pressed getting him to go. I know that if something unforseen were to happen and they HAD to go to PS that I would be able to sit down and talk him through the why's.

 

Sorry, that went off course, lol. I guess I got caught up with the other ppl's stories, lol...

[Greta]

My dd went through a phase where she was really interested in public school. I fretted about it for awhile, and then finally, the brilliant idea occurred to me to ask her specifically what it was about ps that interested her (big DUH moment). It was riding the bus and eating in the cafeteria. :lol:

 

So we rode the city bus. And we ate at a cafeteria-style restaurant, which I assured her was much better than a school cafeteria. And we talked about all the things she'd have to do if she went to school: how long the day is, how she'd be giving up park day with her homeschool friends, how much homework she would have, how early she would have to get up. I don't make any pretenses that I was unbiased in my assessment of ps -- I was on a mission to convince her that homeschooling was far superior. This is not a decision I would leave to my young dd, and I'm not even sure it's a decision I would leave to her as a teen. (I waffle back and forth on that one a lot, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.) So it seemed best to convince her that the situation she was in was the best one, rather than to let her wish for "better" things which she could never have.

 

I think it's pretty natural for kids to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. But I think as homeschooling parents, we can make a pretty strong case that the grass is green and sweet right here.

[Mandy in TN]

Oldest ds began homeschooling in 5th grade. He is now in 12th grade and has never wanted to go back to a traditional classroom.

 

One day when he was in middle school middle ds was being so defiant that I told him to get in the vehicle. I told oldest to watch the little guy and I called the 5th-8th grade middle school on the way there. They were very nice and accommodating. We toured the school including the lunch room, playground, music room, and art room. They were very flexible in their math placement and had children in everything from remedial math through geometry. They had slightly lower expectations in Language Arts than we have, but all in all I left there feeling like it wouldn't be horrible if ds ended up there. OTOH, ds left there never wanting to set foot in the public school again.:D He is now my child that feels the strongest about the benefits of homeschooling.

 

The little guy is in 1st grade and has started asking about going to a traditional classroom. Until the middle guy graduates in May 2012 this topic is not open for discussion, because homeschooling fits our family's lifestyle. Having one in a traditional classroom would disrupt the way we live as a family unit. However, when he is the only child at home, we will look into other options. We have a local Montessori school that goes through 8th grade that we will definitely consider.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Jean in Newcastle]

My answers are:

 

"We homeschool as long as it is the best for our children. So far, it is working well and I see no reason to change."

 

"If my child brings this up, we will discuss it, of course. But dh and I are the final say on what kind of education our children get."

 

"If we decide to put them into public school, you'll be the first to know."

[ereks mom]

They never asked. They would have cried if I had told them they had to go to public school. They have seen ps through the eyes of their peers in outside activities, and it doesn't interest them a bit.

 

We have good things going on in our lives--lots of opportunities they could not be a part of if they went to ps. They know this.

 

 

EK actually has a bit of disdain for her ps counterparts. I haven't cultivated that in her AT ALL, but she sees all that DRAMA when she's around other teens at church, extra-curriculars, field trips, and even family gatherings. She rolls her eyes in disgust when she sees the way that many of those teens are so very driven by peer pressure to look and act a certain way just to fit in. Unfortunately, too many of the girls she knows dress...shall we say...immodestly, and the lives of boys and girls alike center around dating relationships and all the associated drama. She just doesn't want any part of it.

Edited September 23, 2009 by ereks mom

[TXMary2]

I have graduated one already and he has thanked me for homeschooling him and says he wouldn't change it. My 13 yo ds has zero desire to go to public school and feels bad for two of his formerly homeschooled friends who now are being forced to attend by their father. He gets a daily report from them about how awful it is for them and so he is praying for their father to have a change of heart. I don't think he'll ever ask to go again. He spent K-3rd in private school and enjoyed it because bullying wasn't allowed, classes were small and were only 1 class per grade and they had two recesses per day. He spent 3 months of 4th grade in public school and hated it. He got canker sores from the stress of it, had regular stomach aches, didn't like any of the kids because in his words they were "bad kids." He was the new guy in school, from out of state and the bad ones gravitated towards him, harassed him and then he got in trouble for defending himself.

 

My youngest (5.5) could possibly ask someday, but my answer will be no. God willing and life circumstances depending, we will homeschool all the way through.

[teamturner]

I haven't read all the other comments. I would simply point out to anyone who asks that you are the parents and you make the education choices for your children, not the children. I always point out to inquirers that we take homeschooling year by year (even though I really want to homeschool all the way through) and make sure it is working, the kids are learning, and it benefits our family.

 

That usually stops the conversation. ;)

 

When the dc ask, I simply point out that they are learning in a different way and the public school isn't the best choice in my opinion. Since we are learning classical subjects and such, they understand that our homeschool method is what is best for them. They also understand that they are done w/school much sooner than their ps counterparts and have more time for outside activities. They do not want to go to ps at this point.

[Aurelia]

We staged a "school day." Ariel had to come into the schoolroom, go quietly to her seat, got reprimanded (multiple times) for talking, both off topic and for not raising her hand and was not allowed to use the bathroom until we finished the subject we were working on. I think she lasted all of 20-30 minutes before she decided she didn't like school and begged to "go back to homeschool." :D She has very proudly told everyone since then that she "goes to homeschool."

[momof2boys]

My oldest has never wanted to go to public school and he is a senior this year. My youngest wanted to go really bad until I did a little subbing in the public schools and when he heard about my experiences he said "Forget it, I will stauy homeschooled so I can get a good education!"

 

Gloria

[CLHCO]

EK actually has a bit of disdain for her ps counterparts. I haven't cultivated that in her AT ALL, but she sees all that DRAMA when she's around other teens at church, extra-curriculars, field trips, and even family gatherings. She rolls her eyes in disgust when she sees the way that many of those teens are so very driven by peer pressure to look and act a certain way just to fit in. Unfortunately, too many of the girls she knows dress...shall we say...immodestly, and the lives of boys and girls alike center around dating relationships and all the associated drama. She just doesn't want any part of it.

 

My teenage girls are somewhat like this too. The mentality is beyond them to even understand.

 

1. Sending children to government school isn't normal, it's cultural. I would correct her on that.

 

 

 

Hey! Good point. Historically speaking, the type of schooling so common today is actually very abnormal. Our society is very wrapped up in it today and it is drilled into the culture, but that doesn't mean it's "normal" or even the best.

 

As for the OP: So much depends on your approach. One of my goals is to instill my values and beliefs into my children. Homeschooling is one of those and I am honest (ok, watered down, watch-my-mouth kind of honest) to the reasons I believe it is best. I don't believe it's just "what works for us now". It's a commitment to our values and beliefs. School is off the table because it doesn't line up with those beliefs. It's a place I tell them they could survive and even thrive if they ever had to but I do not offer it as anything but that.

 

Because of how wrapped up our culture is in the system regarding colleges, sports, and other opportunities, I agree in providing more weight on this decision for teens if they can give a solid reason why it is necessary, but that's different than an uneducated younger child who doesn't have a solid understanding of the situation and doesn't get a say in it. My son said he was curious and wanted to see what it was like just a few weeks ago, even though he knows he wouldn't like the schedule. He was just curious. I simply told him, "No, we homeschool in this family." He dropped it.

[elegantlion]

We staged a "school day." Ariel had to come into the schoolroom, go quietly to her seat, got reprimanded (multiple times) for talking, both off topic and for not raising her hand and was not allowed to use the bathroom until we finished the subject we were working on. I think she lasted all of 20-30 minutes before she decided she didn't like school and begged to "go back to homeschool." :D She has very proudly told everyone since then that she "goes to homeschool."

 

:lol::lol: Hilarious.

 

My mom homeschooled my son for a week while we were on vacation. He begged to have me back. She is his best buddy but she made him raise his hand to speak and sit still and ask to go to the bathroom. I thanked her at the end of the week.

[Carrie12345]

"I assume I'll do whatever public school parents do when their kids ask to be homeschooled."

 

My 11yo was pushing for regular ps this summer. I did put my foot down, and now he's happy!

 

My 7yo got freaked out on the first day when I told everyone to hurry up and get ready.

"Uh... Are we going to public school?"

"No. I just want you ready to start the day."

"Oh, thank GOD!!!"

"Wow! Why so relieved?"

"Because if I went to public school, I couldn't take my work to Grandma's house sometimes!"

:001_rolleyes:

 

I hope to homeschool all the way through. I PLAN to homeschool year by year. And that's exactly what I tell most people.

[beezus]

If you look up "norm" or "normal" in your dictionary you will probably find both of those words describe in terms of what is approximately average - at least mine does. In terms of education, my Webster's dictionary says a norm is a "designated standard of average performance." I don't purport to speak for all homeschoolers, but we are shooting for something above average in our homeschooling endeavors. My kiddo gets one-on-one attention in all of her subjects every single day. "Normal" students in a "normal" public school are lucky to get a few minutes of their teacher's time between classes or after school. We cover subjects, like Latin, that normal public schools usually don't even offer, especially in the elementary and middle grades. I know my kid's skill level, and I can offer her things that are challenging and interesting to her - rather than a normal rote list of subjects and uninspiring or tedious lessons.

 

If you really need to engage with MIL to discuss the issue, maybe you want to focus on things you do that are beyond the "norm." The social skills displayed by many of these "normal" kids in public school aren't always something I want my family to aspire to. Of course, there are some intelligent, well-behaved kids in public schools, but there are also many who have atrocious interpersonal skills and no desire to learn. Shoot, I bet most of those "normal" kids would probably rather not be at public school at all if they thought they had a choice!

 

Your MIL sounds likes she's just afraid of anything different. I doubt there is much you can tell her that will satisfy her if she is stuck on a certain idea of what's normal and acceptable.

[MommyRyan]

I agree with the others that a short, "We'll see," or "It depends," would be appropriate for your MIL. I don't know your MIL, but my own mother has a similar attitude toward homeschooling ("it's not normal"), and I've found the best way to get her to stop is humor her for a minute. I might turn and say, "I haven't thought about it yet. What would you do? Do you have any suggestions?"

 

As for the kids, mine have so far not yet asked to go to school, even though we are the only homeschool family we know in the area. None of it really appeals to them. As they get older, though, should they ask, I think it is important to entertain their curiosities and desires. I believe very strongly in children advocating for themselves and in their freedom over their own education. Just as public school is not one-size-fits-all, homeschooling isn't necessarily either. That being said, if you are strongly against your children attending public school, I also believe it is within your parental rights and authority to simply say no; there's nothing wrong with that. Personally, dh and I have decided should our children express interest, if they can give us a logical, good reason to try, they may attend a local private school or public (depending on quality). Honestly, I think the key word here is "try": I don't think they'd like it.

[kalanamak]

Either "I don't know" or "I will cross that bridge if I come to it."

 

What else can you say? Because you don't know. It would depend on various circumstances.

.

 

I'd say "it depends on the child and it depends on their reasons". If MIL is polite but concerned, I'd thank my stars that she cared, but wasn't a maniac about it.

[Guest Cindie2dds]

Your MIL sounds likes she's just afraid of anything different. I doubt there is much you can tell her that will satisfy her if she is stuck on a certain idea of what's normal and acceptable.

 

 

:iagree: This is it exactly! She has what-do-the-neighbors-think syndrome.

 

Thank you so much for your thoughts and encouragement, Ladies, you guys are awesome! I feel much better realizing that it truly doesn't matter what she says about it, my dh supports me 100%, which is all that matters.

 

I just need to politely say, "This is what school looks like in this family." Case closed. ;)

[dirty ethel rackham]

Mine haven't asked. In fact, mine have begged not to be sent to school. I will be pushing my oldest out of the house next year to take a couple college courses since I don't have any more science to offer him at home after AP physics. I think it is rather presumptuous to assume that all kids want to go to school. Many kids recognize what a good deal they have at home.

 

I agree w/pp that it is not a decision I would leave up to my kids, but would consider their desires along with other factors as we decide our plans each year. So, my short answer to the questioner would be that we have considered it but will cross that bridge IF and when we come to it.

[StephanieZ]

I often say "We take one year at a time. Just like any good parent, I take it year by year, choosing what is best for my kids."

 

Sometimes I add a bit more, sometimes not. It's true, simple, short, and closes the door politely.

 

I've used this statement dozens of times preemptively to head off lines of conversation about hs'ing that I don't feel like having. It seems to go over well and ends the conversation on a friendly note. I think the implied humility helps, but then again, I exude confidence in my choices and people rarely challenge me on my hs'ing or parenting (and those that do don't live to tell about it, lol).

[jujsky]

My kids haven't asked. One would be in K this year, the other in 1st. Neither of them have any desire to go to school. They like doing school at home. In fact, the idea of them going to school pretty much horrifies them.

[sunshine]

When she assumed your kids would think that other children are normal and they are not would have gotten my back feathers ruffled. I probably would have asked if she thought my kids were abnormal and were they abnormal in a good way like they do school in pajamas and teach their babydolls Latin like my girls did yesterday (laughed my head off), or a bad way like they probably don't smoke a joint in the bathroom between classes or have "everything but..." on the back of the bus like the kids in my town who attended the most prestigious private were just caught doing? :glare: but you are probably sweeter than I am which is why my MIL prefers my sister in law who put her 10 month old in daycare so he could have "little friends".