I'm curious..at almost 2yo do you still put your dc to sleep?

[Blessedfamily]

I mean do you have to hold/rock them until they are asleep, or can you just lie him/her down and leave the room? It takes us forever to get dd to sleep every night, and it's wearing us out.

[Erica in PA]

I mean do you have to hold/rock them until they are asleep, or can you just lie him/her down and leave the room? It takes us forever to get dd to sleep every night, and it's wearing us out.

 

Wow, I think you have done more than many of us ever could, lasting two years!! I know for me, I reached my breaking point with rocking my first son to sleep at about 3 months. ;) And I never did rock or hold either of the other two until they fell asleep, because I couldn't take the thought of getting locked into that again. I can see where that would totally wear you out!! As far as getting out of the habit, I'm sure it will be hard for your dc at first, because kids like going to sleep in the way they are used to, but eventually he/she will get the hang of going to sleep independently. Don't feel like a bad mom just because you don't want to do it anymore-- you've done your time! :001_smile:

[LaxMom]

DD8 would just fall asleep on us, then we'd carry her up when we went to bed. DSs4 were still nurslings at 2, so they nursed to sleep, I rearranged them on the bed, then went about my evening.

 

I believe "this will not last forever" came up a lot in those days. And it didn't. {bittersweet}

[Rosie_0801]

Dd is 2 1/4 and ds is 7 months. At the moment, ds is in his bed in my room until he wakes for a feed, then I take him out to the couch. Yes, poor dh is on the couch. His spot in bed has been taken by dd. We'd rather she was in her room, but for the moment, this is the arrangement that gets everyone the most amount of sleep. So to answer your question, dd often nods off in our laps on the couch, or on the floor somewhere, but if we want to go to bed before that, her and I cuddle up in bed and dh reads a bedtime story. Until ds came along, we would put her to bed and let her cry for a little bit if necessary. Since ds came along, we don't want to do anything that's going to make it harder to wrestle him into bed! When we move to our new house, he'll be nearly one and won't require night feeds, so they'll both be in their own rooms and finally dh can come back to bed! Hardly an ideal situation, but I find dd is *much* better behaved if we co-sleep. So there's the silver lining...

 

Rosie

[Blessedfamily]

Dh is in there now trying to get her to sleep and getting frustrated. It just suddenly occured to me that maybe we don't have to go through this every night? (That's why I posted the question.)

 

 

To tell you the truth, we only get personal time when the kids are asleep, and this takes up quite a bit of it every night.

 

I don't know what I dread more:continuing like this or trying to get her to fall asleep on her own. However the process works, I bet there's going to be plenty of screaming involved, and she is a soprano.

Edited September 5, 2009 by Blessedfamily

[amy g.]

Today is Miss Bossy's third birthday. Someone always lies down with her until she goes to sleep.

 

Fortunately, we have enough people to rotate the job.

[Cindyg]

Goodness, yes, we certainly did! We just have one (and that's partly why). He was a difficult baby. We had to snuggle, bounce, pat, cuddle, comfort, rock, whatever else -- every bedtime, every nap, every time he woke up in the night -- until he was around six. That was when we discovered Melatonin, which we have been using ever since then. (He's 12 now.)

 

(I'm not necessarily recommending this for a less-than-two year old. I'm just saying what we did.)

[Lovedtodeath]

there is a book called the no cry sleep solution that might help. the babywhisperer also has a toddler book and wonderful message boards. DD still sleeps with us. I rocked her to sleep until she was 4 and I was on bedrest. DS nurses to sleep, but not for long!

[caitlinsmom]

We are still at that point with my nearly 5 yo. The kid has never (and I do mean NEVER) slept through the night yet. He rarely will go to sleep by himself, as he cant seem to calm down enough. On the bad nights dh will lay on his bed and pat his back. The kid is out in 5 min or less. On the nights when its manageable we will just read and read and read until he gives it up. Max it will take him 45 min to go to sleep.

 

My sympathy is with you, I know how hard and trying it can be. I wish you luck in finding something that will work. This is definatly one of those things where the saying "Each kid is different". DD1 is a good sleeper and dd3 is a dream in that department. :) Good luck

[mlgbug]

ds is almost 2 and i have to lay with him and he has to hold my boob.. dd 4 i still have to lay with. when dd was 2 i had to nurse her to sleep but i was 7 months prego and vut that off.

 

THEY STILL DONT SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!

 

thay fall asleep in our bed, i put them to their bed. ds usually wakes within 2 hours. i give him the paci and he goes back to sleep. eventually they are in my bed EVERYNIGHT :) dh is more bothered than me.

[mominbc]

I know everyone is different, so you have to do what you feel is right in your heart. For me, bedtime is sweet time to spend with my littlest one, holding and cuddling. My older 2 needed more time than my 3rd who was asleep moments after I prayed with him. And my 4th is just 16 mths so we still cuddle. I always put myself in their shoes and thought how I would feel if I were them. I am personally a Dr.Sears fan and he has a great book called the Sleep Book and it really helped with routines, which I think is key. Either way, they do get to a point where they can get to sleep on their own, I don't see too many moms rocking their teenagers to sleep.;)

[Blessedfamily]

OK, I see I'm not alone. Maybe I was just at whits end because she's been very hard this week. I guess that's to be expected because we put her binky away four days ago. She hasn't asked for it, so we're trying to keep it away.

 

She's been taking naps w/out the binky for 2 or 3 mos.

[Lovedtodeath]

I started a bedtime routine with children's miracle music and he goes to sleep much faster. We didn't have a bedtime or a routine before.

[ChristusG]

My DD is 2.5. I still nurse her so she falls asleep that way every night. Then I go and lie her in our bed. Did the same thing with DD#1 as well when she was that age.

[Osmosis Mom]

I stil rock ds to sleep for nap and the night. It's lovely and I don't mind. When I do mind then dh does it and enjoys it too. Usually my kids get rocked until after 2 and then they just lay down on their own or I hold their hand for a few moments. And then suddenly they are 4 and never need you again...

 

What I have found this time around is that ds needs a little bit extra to eat before bedtime which helps him sleep so much better. I used to give him extra cereal and now will feed him yogurt unless he really ate well shortly before sleeping. He'll get some water and sleep through most nights. On the rare nights when he does wake up I usually just offer him water and put him back down. Occasionally then he'll insist on getting into my bed which I might let him, but I'll later dump him back in his crib so he won't remember being in my bed (which will then cause him to demand my bed every night after for a while).

 

BTW then I am generally very particular about bedtime as well as naptime. To me, it is highly anarchistic to let the child fall asleep on the couch etc. and then be lifted into bed (or parents' bed). You need to value your own time and sense of freedom as well as have some respect for your dh and his physical needs.

 

Just my opinion. As you can see, then I am semi-attachment. The crib is right next to me, but there are certain boundaries!

[IsabelC]

Ds and dd1 both started to go without parenting to sleep at around age 2. At age 6 and 4, they still like their evening rhythm of stories and cuddles with me and their daddy, but once we say goodnight they usually go to sleep and stay asleep all night. Dd2 is 12 months old and still sleeps next to me; she will start going to sleep on her own whenever she wants to have her own bedroom. I have never really found parenting them down to be a hassle though. The way I see it, it is always going to take a little while to get a child to sleep. You can choose to spend this time cuddling, rocking and breastfeeding (or cuddling, chatting, telling stories and singing when they are a bit older). Or you can choose to spend the time telling them to go to sleep, walking in and out of their room, getting frustrated, listening to them cry etc. I know which I'd rather do :001_smile:

[Donna T.]

I mean do you have to hold/rock them until they are asleep, or can you just lie him/her down and leave the room? It takes us forever to get dd to sleep every night, and it's wearing us out.

 

At that age, both of my sons were still nursing and nursed themselves to sleep almost every night. From time to time, they would fall asleep without nursing, but we almost always laid down with them. By that age, we were reading books at bedtime and had a routine going. During that year between 2 and 3, each of them learned to go to sleep without nursing, but we continued to read books, pray with them, and tuck them in. We still read books and pray with them almost every night.

[katemary63]

Every kid is different with different needs. However, age 2 was our limit. I made it a goal that every kid know how to go to sleep awake by age 2. It was not that difficult. Our first two went to sleep awake long before that. After age 2, the kids had a bedtime, usually about 8:00 PM. Late evenings were our time. Lots of people, especially on the forum, co-sleep or rock their kids to sleep to much older ages and that is a fine choice. But if it's not working for your family, it is also perfectly fine to teach your child a little independance.

[Ellie]

I put them to bed. Hugs, kisses, say g'night, leave the room. I only had two dc, so there might have been more variety had there been more dc :-) When they were still nursing, I'd sit up and nurse them, and when they fell asleep, I put them to bed; IOW, I didn't lie down and nurse them to sleep.

 

But you know, they are 31 and 34yo now. The time in their lives when I might have had to nurse them to sleep is long ago, and we all lived to tell about it.:)

[EKS]

Absolutely not. I made sure that each of my kids put themselves to sleep and back to sleep when they awoke in the night themselves by the time they were 6 months old.

[IsabelC]

I put them to bed. Hugs, kisses, say g'night, leave the room. I only had two dc, so there might have been more variety had there been more dc :-) When they were still nursing, I'd sit up and nurse them, and when they fell asleep, I put them to bed; IOW, I didn't lie down and nurse them to sleep.

 

But you know, they are 31 and 34yo now. The time in their lives when I might have had to nurse them to sleep is long ago, and we all lived to tell about it.:)

What, you don't nurse your 31 and 34yos to sleep anymore? :lol:

[Dirtroad]

Read them a story and put them to bed with a kiss goodnight. Lights out. No rituals beyond that b/c they become habits are are hard to break.

 

(learned lesson on this from Baby Wise II and Childwise books)

[Dawn in OH]

A few months before the youngest turned two I changed our evening routine to help with getting him to bed. It started with offering a snack to make sure he wasn't hungry. After snack we went and brushed teeth. Then we got a clean diaper and pajamas. Then he wanted to snuggle and nurse for a few minutes. By the end of that he was pretty much ready for bed. I slowly walked him into my room singing to him, gave him kisses and hugs, settled him in bed with his 2 favorite animals and he would be out in a matter of minutes.

 

He's 25 months now and he's mostly cut out the snuggle and nursing part of the evening. Now by the time he's got his pajamas on he's stumbling around the room saying "Nite Nite" and trying to collect his kisses and hugs from his brother and sister.

[eternalknot]

I mean do you have to hold/rock them until they are asleep, or can you just lie him/her down and leave the room? It takes us forever to get dd to sleep every night, and it's wearing us out.

 

 

Mine both still nursed at two, so I would absolutely lie down in (our shared) bed and nurse them to sleep. It rarely took long, though.

 

My daughter turns four in a few weeks, and she still nurses to sleep so naturally I still lie with her. It generally takes less than 10 minutes; occassionally it will take more, especially during the transition from naps to no naps (and perhaps she fell asleep in the car around 5pm kind of thing).

 

I travel for work, and when my kids stay with my parents ... my parents have a routine. It sounds like a routine would work well for y'all, too. My kids sleep with my parents, but my parents don't go to bed at the same time as the kids. They put on a CD of classical guitar tracks, and will snuggle in bed with the kids for about 10 minutes (which is 2 tracks on the CD). After that, my parents leave the room. The kids have always done fine with this, even though it's very different from how they are put to bed at my house. Maybe something like this would work for you - a compromise between your toddler's needs and your own?

[Tap]

I don't particularly like to rock, so none of my children have been rocked to sleep. I used to feed them, give them a bottle of water and put them to bed. We have been this way with all 3 kids. They have gone asleep alone and were just laid down, since they were about 6 months and up (from the age when they didn't fall asleep while eating).

 

Dd2.75 gets laid down, tucked in, music turned on, stuffed animals tucked in, and we close the door.

[Tree House Academy]

Uh, no. But my kids went to bed by me taking them and putting them in their cribs and turning the light off when they are REALLY young - 9/10 mos at the latest.

[swellmomma]

Dd will be 2 in a couple weeks and I still nurse her to sleep. SHe still doesn't sleep through the night but since we co-sleep it is only a matter of rolling over, popping her on and going back to sleep.

 

The rest all go to sleep on their own but not without a fight. The older 2 with their adhd etc have a hard time calming at night. SO I come on here so that I can stay on the upper level and send them back to bed the 40 thousand times they get out. They don't need me to lay with them or anything, they just need reminders to stay in the bed and stare at the wall if need be until they fall asleep.

[Terabith]

Sigh. When my oldest was little, we did the putting her in bed, kissing her, and leaving the room. It wasn't a big deal, and I felt so self satisfied with my putting children to sleep parenting.

 

Ha. Ha. Ha. Enter child number two. Long story short, if we want to get to sleep, say, ever, I have to make sure she's completely exhausted, and then I have to lie down next to her until she falls asleep.

 

Hard to compete with a very, very stubborn child who will do anything to keep herself from falling asleep, who is also very anxious and imaginative.

[mom4him]

I mean do you have to hold/rock them until they are asleep, or can you just lie him/her down and leave the room? It takes us forever to get dd to sleep every night, and it's wearing us out.

I always rocked mine to sleep as long as I could still get out of the chair and carry them to bed. Once they got to big for that I would sit with them or lay down with them until they went to sleep. It was much quicker and I liked it. Helping them go to sleep in a calm way has always been a very precious time for me.

It won't last that long and then they are to big to even get on your lap. Mine are almost 9 and 10 and I still go in and read to them many nights and for sure pray with them, give them multiple kisses etc. I know that they will soon be walking out that door to go to college or for their own apartment. Treasure every moment.

 

I wanted to add that I am not a "let them cry it out" person.

Edited September 5, 2009 by mom4him

[Unicorn.]

Yep, at age 2, we would take turns sitting on their floor, and would sing them to sleep. Every, single, night. Dh usually fell asleep on the floor. :0)

[Peela]

Different kids....dd, firstborn, put herself to sleep well before 2, because ds was only 17 months behind and she had to learn to, even though I tandem breastfed. But ds...he moved from my bed to dd's at age 2.5. At 2 I think I stopped breastfeeding at night time! I used to bf him off to sleep for a long time.

 

In retrospect...it is quite possible to train a baby/toddler to go to sleep by themselves by age 2, or well before. It may take leaving them to cry a few times, but once they accept it, and know you wont back down, yet still love them, it becomes peaceful.

Different kids handle it differently though. For some it may feel traumatic- but I think thats probably reflecting an underlying deeper insecurity. Others just need to be given a boundary- time to go to sleep by yourself- and after a short rebel they will accept it because they are really ready.

 

And...I am glad I just let it go on till about that age..in retrospect, it was such a short time in my life yet set a strong foundaiton for my kids. However if a parent is resenting doing it any more...thats not good for either of them so its time to change the pattern.

[joannqn]

We moved our 2 year old out of our bed and into his own room in June. DH is sleeping on the floor next to his bed still because he wakes up crying in the middle of the night if someone isn't with him. All of our children have gone through this stage. I think it is a normal stage unless the child has been sleep trained previously. In my experience, it isn't forever and they become good sleepers in time.

[ekarl2]

Read them a story and put them to bed with a kiss goodnight. Lights out. No rituals beyond that b/c they become habits are are hard to break.

 

(learned lesson on this from Baby Wise II and Childwise books)

 

Ditto. Same for naps. I learned my lesson from DD. With DS he's on his own. Because of this he RARELY wakes at night; if he does it's for a minute or two and then back to sleep on his own. When my sister baby sat about 6th months ago she marveled how they were like TV kids to put to bed. We do TONS of cuddling and loving throughout the day, but at night we ALL sleep better if they can comfort themselves in bed.

 

It only took a couple of nights of fussing as I left the room. Worked like a charm. It is easier if you start it earlier, though, around 6-8 months old.

[sagira]

I nurse my 2-year-old to sleep -- in fact, she still nurses at night. She's nursing right now as I'm on the computer after she alerted me of her num-num needs :)

 

My eldest nursed until he was 3 and a half but night weaned at 3. He does not remember nursing at all and has been sleeping in his room since he was almost 5 and sleeps well (never wet the bed either since he potty trained when he was 2 and a half).

 

We have no problems with nursing to sleep, little ones grow up so fast. I can't believe my oldest is six!

Edited September 5, 2009 by sagira

[KidsHappen]

Well, I am going to answer before I read anyone else's post. My youngest will be 10 tomorrow. She slept with me last night. Of course, she didn't have to but I was still putting her to bed a year ago. The twin mattress moved out of my room permanently a few months ago. Now I put the grandbaby to sleep when I am there. One of my dd does it when I am not. (Oldest teen staying with married dd)

 

Oh, I guess I should add that I wasn't still rocking at that point. Rocking probably never lasted past a year or so but the laying down with them or them laying with us, yeah that just ended relatively recently (considering the age of my oldest).

Edited September 5, 2009 by KidsHappen

[Lovedtodeath]

Well, I am going to answer before I read anyone else's post. My youngest will be 10 tomorrow. She slept with me last night. Of course, she didn't have to but I was still putting her to bed a year ago. The twin mattress moved out of my room permanently a few months ago. Now I put the grandbaby to sleep when I am there. One of my dd does it when I am not. (Oldest teen staying with married dd)

 

Oh, I guess I should add that I wasn't still rocking at that point. Rocking probably never lasted past a year or so but the laying down with them or them laying with us, yeah that just ended relatively recently (considering the age of my oldest).

Have I told you lately that I love you? :D

[Catherine]

and I cherish this. He occasionally still comes into our bed in the night, but less and less often. I will miss the passing of this ritual, a part of my life for the past 16+ years. Then again, it will be nice to have evenings more to myself.

 

The days are long but the years are short. I always remember this saying and it is so very true. Love, safety, affection-what better principles are there for childrearing?

[Lilymax]

No, I think I'd have gone crazy if my kids weren't able to get themselves to sleep without me by age two, but that's just me. I really need that peace and quiet by the end of the day, as does my husband. And now that I have an autoimmune disorder, adequate rest is necessary to keep me healthy.

 

We have another one due in a couple of weeks, and I'll probably do the same with him as I have with the other two. I do the co-sleeping, nursing on demand thing for the first few months, then I start putting them in their crib/bassinet in between nighttime feedings. After that stage, I gradually start switching things up a bit so that I can put them down drowsy, without nursing them to sleep every nap or bedtime. Both my boys ended up being able to put themselves to sleep by 7 months or so, with only a little of the dreaded crying it out. They've both been good sleepers ever since.

 

We're big on starting bedtime routines ASAP, too, so that they know what's coming next. Bath, PJ's, toothbrushing, stories, prayers, lights out. It really helps. Another thing is that from birth, we make sure to keep lights dim at night, speak only in whispers, don't interact or play with baby when they wake, just no-nonsense feeding and diaper changing. I think that also helps them realize that nighttime is about sleeping.

[Ellie]

What, you don't nurse your 31 and 34yos to sleep anymore? :lol:

Nope.:lol:

[bairnmama]

Wow... there really are a lot of different ways parents put their kids to sleep! For my own sanity, I trained my children to go to sleep on their own as early as possible. My dh was gone so often due to the military that I was essentially a single parent and needed that time to wind down and regroup before the next day started. Dd was a LOT harder to get to the point where she could sleep on her own than ds, but she did learn. By the time she was 2, she understood that she didn't have to go to sleep when I put her to bed, but she did have to stay in her bed and be quiet. It was simply a rule just like any other rule that applied during the day such as not coloring on the walls or coming to me when I called.

 

I have a friend who sleeps in the bed with her 2 dc, ages 3 & 5, every night and who says they will NOT go to sleep w/o her laying in the bed with them. She is a single mom and has stated repeatedly that she's beyond frustrated with this and has so much she needs to get done after their bedtime that isn't getting done because she almost always falls asleep waiting for them to sleep. I've started keeping her dc a couple nights a week while she goes to night classes, and you know what? When I put them to bed, they fuss for about 15 min, talk to each other about 10 min and then go to sleep. Just.like.that. These are the same children that wail hysterically at the top of their lungs for 2 hrs or more, get up constantly, and cling to her when she tries to not lay in the bed with them. I do the same bedtime routine that she does with the exception that I won't lay down with them, mainly because I have my 2 children in another part of the house I need to watch as well. They know I won't give in, and that she will. Yes, I believe that every child is different and some need more comforting and such than others; but I also believe children are master manipulators to get what they want. That is why they need parents to teach and train them.