Do you get bored with being at home?

[MommyInTraining]

With so many little children we are not able to go out on excursions very much.

 

For those of you who stay at home a lot could you share with me how you find contentment in it?

 

Thanks so much for sharing,

 

Terri

Edited May 12, 2009 by MommyInTraining

[SherryTX]

Our daughter is 9, so I have a lot more freedom to move about the town then most. (Our 7, 11 and 13 year old daughters go to public school, and my 18 year old finished high school early.)

 

However, this wasn't always the case. The first year I lived in TX I worked from home, as did my husband, and our youngest were 2 and 4. That was hard - but I was too busy to get board! However, the following year, he took a job outside the home, and I worked from home still, and had one of the kids in preK. So I still left the house. But as my business diminished, I found myself going a bit stir crazy.

 

I am not very domestic - something I have been working on. However, I find that if I try to keep busy in that area, it helps. However, if you are fairly domestic and have a handle on that area, what are you doing for yourself? Home schooling can take up a lot of time, but everyone needs something for them self as well.

 

I was laid off a few months ago, so what I am working on some free lance stuff, and trying still (hah) to be a bit more domestic. I do have my own vehicle, so I can go here and there as I want, but mostly I run errands (taking son to work, etc. ). If I don't have it in the budget to go do something, I usually stay at home.

 

I try to go to a park once per week and walk with my friend and my daughter. That is something I look forward to a lot. I also have a Zumba class on Tuesday nights - but I have missed most of them because of sick kids (or me, etc. ).

 

I think it is a good idea for everyone to leave the house a couple times a week, even if it is for just a walk. I have some hobbies I haven't put too much time into the last few years, and I hope to pick those up again.

 

Do you have any hobbies that you could make some time to do while you are at home? I know it is hard with little ones, but every parent needs something for their own sanity.

[Garga]

I get bored.

 

I only have two kids (6 and 4 yo) so I don't really have advice for someone with 5 kids.

 

I was bored out of my MIND yesterday. Hubby had all sorts of things to do, so he was happily puttering along. My job for the day: watch the kids, like I do all the other 364 days of the year. I was soooo bored.

 

The thing that makes me less bored is to have a strong schedule that we stick to. M-F I'm not as bored because we're homeschooling and doing our Flylady cleaning together.

 

Today I was starting to get bored again, and since it was Mother's Day, I pulled out the Mother's Day Card and told hubby I was going to the movies. Alone. It was a nice break. But as soon as I got home, I felt bored again.

[specialmama]

I'm one of those people who (no offense to anyone) truly cannot stand the word "bored". There is always so much to do, always things to take pleasure in, always good books to read or new interests to expand. I am absolutely content to be at home, but I do take time to invest in me, to expand who I am (and that does not mean my waistline, although my wardrobe would beg to differ!) I take time to invest in my relationship with the Lord, my skills, my interests, and regular adult conversation. I will typically have one good phone call (at least) per day with another mom and we'll discuss whatever the wind blows our way. Our kids are young for such a short while, I consider it a blessing to spend every day with them, and on those hard days I just remind myself of this fact. It is a season, and someday I will want these days back. :001_smile: I have a mental picture of roots going down, feeling content with where I am, still dreaming big dreams for the future, but truly enjoying where I am right now. I don't think I've ever felt bored. :001_smile:

[SherryTX]

I'm one of those people who (no offense to anyone) truly cannot stand the word "bored". There is always so much to do, always things to take pleasure in, always good books to read or new interests to expand. I am absolutely content to be at home, but I do take time to invest in me, to expand who I am (and that does not mean my waistline, although my wardrobe would beg to differ!) I take time to invest in my relationship with the Lord, my skills, my interests, and regular adult conversation. I will typically have one good phone call (at least) per day with another mom and we'll discuss whatever the wind blows our way. Our kids are young for such a short while, I consider it a blessing to spend every day with them, and on those hard days I just remind myself of this fact. It is a season, and someday I will want these days back. :001_smile: I have a mental picture of roots going down, feeling content with where I am, still dreaming big dreams for the future, but truly enjoying where I am right now. I don't think I've ever felt bored. :001_smile:

 

It sounds like you have hit a good balance - congrats!:)

[specialmama]

It sounds like you have hit a good balance - congrats!:)

 

Not when I'm PMSing!!! :lol::lol::lol:

[MamaT]

Back a few years ago, when I had a newborn, a 9 mo. old, a 2yo, a 6yo, an 11yo, and a 13 yo, I was stuck at home ALL the time. It was too hard to go anywhere unless I had to. I would go for a walk in our neighborhood. Going outside and watching the kids swim or just play in the yard helped.

 

Now that my youngest is 9 and we are running around to activities every day of the week, I wish I COULD stay at home.

 

I agree with specialmama. I think the trick is to find joy and beauty around you, invest in yourself (read, sew, or some other hobby). Just learn to enjoy where you are right now, knowing that it will change.

 

Life is a series of seasons.

[Garga]

I'm one of those people who (no offense to anyone) truly cannot stand the word "bored". There is always so much to do, always things to take pleasure in, always good books to read or new interests to expand.

 

I see what you mean. I guess that's why I get bored only on Saturdays. When I have plenty to do, and have gotten proper sleep (so I have energy), I don't feel as bored.

 

However, I do get bored if I join my kids doing things they're interested in, like reading Dr. Seuss or something. I get really bored reading Dr. Seuss, but sometimes you just have to do it because you love ds4 and he loves to hear Dr. Seuss.

 

And at ages 6 and 4, I can't always do something enriching to me like read a good book or gab on the phone for an hour, or stain a new walking stick, without ignoring the kids. Sometimes they play with each other fine, but some days, they just want to annoy each other, so I have to keep a closer eye on them and can't do what I want to do.

 

On the days where I don't have activities planned for us to do, and the kids want to annoy each other, I get bored. The things I want to do are impossible to do when the kids are acting up and I feel mentally unstimulated. And sometimes I just sick of chores. They get boring, too.

 

So, I understand you saying you don't understand someone getting bored with all the tasks and fun little things we could be doing, but at the same time, sometimes I get bored with the actual in-the-trenches parenting of a 6 and 4 year old when they're acting up and I've run out of energy to do clever things with them: which usually happens on Saturday, when I'm somewhat drained and want to sit around reading my book all day. Or go to a movie rated PG, but can't with the kids.

 

I'm a pretty intelligent woman and I need a lot of mental stimulation. Sometimes listening to a 6 year old describe a picture he drew (at great length) is really boring to me. I still love him and love his enthusiasm, but at the same time, I get bored. I'd rather try to figure out who did it in the latest mystery I'm reading, or something.

 

Of course, I used to get bored at work as well, so just because I'm stuck at home doesn't mean I wouldn't be bored at work. Everyone gets bored at what they do, at least occasionally.

Edited May 11, 2009 by Garga

[specialmama]

With so many little children we are not able to go out on excursions very much.

 

For those of you who stay at home a lot could you share with me how you find contentment in it?

 

Thanks so much for sharing,

 

Terri

 

Sorry, Terri, I should have actually spent more time answering your question, how I find contentment in it.

 

Might sound strong, but it ought to anyhow. I think finding contentment where you are hinges first of all on knowing if you are where you're meant to be. ;) For me, I am. So, if I were to feel discontentment, I would have to evaluate where it is coming from. If it is from a societal view that minimilizes mom's vital role, I'd have to kick those thoughts out and surround myself with truth: that being a mom is THE most important job in the world. I'd have to read about fantastic moms who raised fantastic kids and KNOW without a doubt that these are NOT wasted years. If it's coming from not being validated or appreciated, I'd gently nudge my spouse and start appreciating him more. He'll likely respond in kind. If not, I know Who sees everything and He will never let me down. I try to work always, as though I'm working for the Lord. He has given me this terribly important job, He has loaned these children to me, so I will do my best to raise them for Him. This mindset is fertile soil to grow contentment. :001_smile: During some yucky moments, I have had the thought of: gee, this child can be taken from me at any moment. If this child died tomorrow, would I have regrets? Or, if I died next week, what would my child remember me by? These questions, although not as deeply rooted as the thoughts above, do give me the odd reality check, and they keep things in perspective. HTH!

[elizabeth]

 

http://www.scarletquince.com/ Cross stitch saved me from continuing to smoke-blaaech,yucko!!!Seriously a really great needlework hobby or fiber work including rug weaving, crochet, knitting etc with an audio book and I am happy as can be. These cross stitch patterns are a delight and if you are a type A personality well, it doesn't get any better!!!Furthermore I spend a great deal of time reading with dd and debating the relative merits of the XMen versus the Avengers or any other such shared interest. I must say that learning to crochet was a really grand idea that ended up being a source of great comfort to people I love within the month I took up the hobby. It is such a wonderful feeling to see that not only can you render something lovely from raw materials but the fact that each time the afghan or scarf is used you are spreading caring and joy with your creative energy. Always a good thing...maybe set aside 30 min a day that is silent time for you alone to begin to explore books from the library on something you have always been curious about and your interest/hobby will come to you. Maybe it is something your dh can help make happen-the 30 min a day quiet time that is. Best of luck and Happy Mothers Day .

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sounds like cabin fever. I will invite people here - good friends or family who will be happy with my house "as is". Or I will take everyone for a walk - or a simple picnic lunch out on the lawn. Or I'll get a good book to read to myself during "quiet time". Sometimes finding myself far away in a good book is as good as a trip away!

[Nestof3]

Honestly, I am just not a person prone to boredom. I never have been. I've always been able to be content very easily doing whatever. I really think I have never experienced boredom.

 

Organizing is even fun for me (LOL). I enjoy reading (particularly nonfiction), making cards, stamping, scrapbooking, gardening, exercising, watching movies, schooling with my boys, surfing the web, etc. I do enjoy going out on date nights, getting together with friends on those rare occasions, etc., but I really am a home-body.

[Jeanne in MN]

God did not give me a natural desire to be a homemaker. I have really struggled over the years being content staying home. I get real tired of these same walls and all my work keeping me stuck inside. Did I mention I love being outdoors too?!? Three years ago we moved from town out to an acreage and it has made the isolation even worse.

 

How do I deal with it?

 

It's all about my kids. I picture what our family/lives would be like if I did work and we weren't homeschooling and that's depressing too. I look for the bright side of what we are doing, how it benefits the family overall. And I also try and get us out of here. Two days at home is about as much as I can stand without getting out of the house and seeing other people. I got into Dutch oven cooking and love cooking supper outside now! It gets me out of the house.

 

When we lived in town, I would run my errands after dh got home from work. I'd split them up so I had one or two to run every night. I had to be around people and know a world still existed.

 

I find it best when one is feeling this way to get out of the house! Plan an outing, go catch a matinee or picnic at the park or something. Anything to get a change of scenery!!

 

If nothing else, know you are not alone. I totally have felt your pain. I've learned better how to deal with it and as the kids get older it's certainly easier too. It won't be that way forever.

[Renee in NC]

Yes, I do. However, after spending the past couple of years working in various capacities I realize that the grass is not greener on the other side.

 

I am not a crafty person.

 

I need seemingly never-ending amounts of intellectual stimulation to keep from feeling worn down.

 

I love to read and I do read a TON about all different topics.

 

What I want most of all is intellectual, stimulating conversation with adults.

 

So, yeah, I get bored as leaving the house with 5 children 8 and under is often not worth the effort!:D

[Renthead Mommy]

God yes! I'm so bored lately it's not even funny! Because of a bunch of stuff that was going on we sent my son to the school down the street for the second half of 1st grade. He's loving it. I'm losing my mind. Plus some of my close friends are already gone from the island, my best friend is still here, and we end up on the phone 5 times a day, but she's still trying to get school done with all her kids.

 

Part of it is we are just bored and done with Okinawa. I'm so over it. We've done everything we wanted to do. If you aren't super beach /diving/snorkler people, oh my god it can get boring here fast! And the weather just went from beautiful to not so nice, so that doesn't help. Pluseveryone I want talk to is on the other side of the planet, so the people I'd normally talk to during the day are sleeping during my 'talk' time.

 

On top of that we are in hurry up and wait mode. We are so ready to go, but I've got nothing to do. I can't pack, the movers do that. Don't have to thin things, we get rid as we finish. I've already got the mental list of what is going in the express and regular shipment. So we are really in a sit and spin mode.

 

What do I do for it? Well, tried gardening, but the birds are eating the few tomatoes, plus not a lot of point in planting stuff that won't be ready till after we're gone. I go to the gym, but god how I hate that! To me the gym is the most boreing thing on earth. I go to fill time.

 

Usually I end up playing on the computer and reading. Lately I've been writing fan fiction again. And I write it out long hand. That way I can write it sitting outside, or in bed or on the couch. I wish I could take an art class or some of the tours, but everything seems to run either in the afternoons or weekend. I don't need it then, then I've got stuff to do.

 

When we are back in the states it will be different. Everyone is in similar time zones. I can talk and see people. Plus it's the city, so we have tons of things to do and people to see.

 

ETA: Today I'm cleaning the oven. See? That's the excitement level around here.

Edited May 11, 2009 by Renthead Mommy

[Remudamom]

I took the kids with me, even when the triplets were little. We'd go into "town", there's only a Walmart and shop. I'd bring blankets and lay the triplets in the bottom of a cart, "big" sister, only 18 months older would sit in the seat part, and six yr old bub would push a cart for things.

 

Fourteen yrs later and people still come up to me and say "I remember when you used to come in here with all your babies......."

 

I haven't been bored staying home yet....as long as I can get out in the yard too, winter is a bit bothersome sometimes.

'

[Lovedtodeath]

Hi Terri! Yes! I feel bored and useless. Such is the life of anyone with a child under the age of 6 who doesn't just hand them over to someone else to raise. It got better when DD hit 3 1/2 to 4, but then of course, we had to start all over! I will be keeping my eye on this thread.

 

I will say that I have my best days when I make sure to have fun with the kids my first priority.

[MommyInTraining]

I, my skills, my interests, and regular adult conversation. I will typically have one good phone call (at least) per day with another mom and we'll discuss whatever the wind blows our way. . :001_smile:

 

 

Well, I see you have fewer children than myself. There isn't a whole lot of time in my day to invest in developing skills and interests. And a long conversation on the phone? :001_huh:

 

Thanks for sharing though!

Edited May 11, 2009 by MommyInTraining

[MommyInTraining]

Hi Terri! Yes! I feel bored and useless. Such is the life of anyone with a child under the age of 6 who doesn't just hand them over to someone else to raise. It got better when DD hit 3 1/2 to 4, but then of course, we had to start all over! I will be keeping my eye on this thread.

 

I will say that I have my best days when I make sure to have fun with the kids my first priority.

 

 

Hi Carmen,

 

You're such a sweetie :001_smile:!

[scrapbookbuzz]

I understand what you mean about being bored. That happens to me occasionally. However, I have discovered that when we're bored it usually means we aren't doing something. Or, if we are, we have the wrong perspective. You said that you get bored listening to your little guy describe something to you 'at length.' I'm reading this as you saying, "He's taking too long." My question to you is, "Why are you bored with it? Are you thinking of him or yourself at the time? If you're thinking, "Gosh, I wish he'd hurry up and finish" then you're thinking of yourself and not him. I have a 4yo and I have a 10yo who takes longer to explain some things than the 4yo! Enjoy the process, Girl! Enjoy the fact your little guy wants to share something so precious, like conversation, with you. Enjoy him being little! And, when you have a few minutes to read YOUR book, be thankful for those FEW minutes.

 

I DO know how you feel. I DO know and DO understand your thought processes. I also know that none of us should EVER feel bored. It's a selfish feeling. Think about it: there is ALWAYS something we can be doing and yet we have the audacity to say, "I'm bored??" Next time your thoughts go that way, just start to do SOMETHING a little bit different. Perhaps that will send the deception of boredom fleeting! HTH (at least a little bit).

[MommyInTraining]

Sounds like cabin fever.

 

 

Hi Jean,

 

We have only been in WA about 8 years and I think I am getting tired of the gray days :D!

[specialmama]

[HIJACK ON]

 

http://www.scarletquince.com/ Cross stitch saved me from continuing to smoke-blaaech,yucko!!!Seriously a really great needlework hobby or fiber work including rug weaving, crochet, knitting etc with an audio book and I am happy as can be. These cross stitch patterns are a delight

 

Elizabeth... I have to say... thank you thank you thank you for that wonderful link! I have bookmarked it! :001_tt1: Looks amazing! Thank you!

 

[HIJACK OFF]

[specialmama]

Well, I see you have a lot fewer children than myself. There isn't a whole lot of time in my day to invest in developing skills and interests. And a long conversation on the phone? :001_huh:

 

Thanks for sharing though!

 

Well, actually, my son has severe special needs. It isn't until I meet a mom with nine kids or more that I think, wow, how does she do it? Yes, I am being serious.

 

Phone conversations happen while I'm multi-tasking, make no mistake. And if you don't take care of yourself, you go nuts. Like the folks say on planes, when the oxygen mask comes down, put it on yourself first. There's wisdom in that.

[SonshineLearner]

I'm not necessarily bored, just friendless. It's not that I don't have people to talk with, it's just that I don't have a "real" friend. You know, someone who would still check in with you if you weren't in activities together. I was talking to my one real friend, my mom, and I told her ....it's something you imagine being a normal part of your life...that best friend who might actually go to lunch or the movies every once in a while.... without kids...

Oh Well, at some season of my life...I'd like a true friend again...

:-)

[MommyInTraining]

I also know that none of us should EVER feel bored. It's a selfish feeling. Think about it: there is ALWAYS something we can be doing and yet we have the audacity to say, "I'm bored??" Next time your thoughts go that way, just start to do SOMETHING a little bit different. Perhaps that will send the deception of boredom fleeting! HTH (at least a little bit).

 

 

I know you were addressing the other poster about listening to her son, but I wanted to respond. I don't really know if "bored" is the word I should even be using. How can I be "bored" with 5 children around me to love and a new life growing inside of me. No, I don't think "bored" is the right word for what I am feeling. So what is it? Ummm....

 

I really think my main problem right now is that we are not on a good schedule and that makes me want to get out of the house to escape the chaotic feeling. As the PP stated, when she is on a schedule things seem to go much easier. As for her statement about feeling worse on Sat., I would suggest making a schedule for that day also. Plan to go to a local park for a nature walk or the aquarium or the zoo. Or, make a schedule of things to do around the house that you don't do during the week. A special craft time with the children to help them develop life skills. Check out www.keepersofthefaith.com . They have life skill books that are perfect for your children's ages!

 

I still don't know what the word is to describe what I am feeling. We don't have any family here and no church family. My husband is basically the only person I have to carry on an adult conversation with and he has a long commute for work.

 

So, I guess I just need to put MORE energy into my children and find more fulfillment in my interaction with them!

 

Thanks all for your thoughts.

[MommyInTraining]

Phone conversations happen while I'm multi-tasking,

 

 

That is something I am not good at doing....multi-tasking! I can't stand to be on the phone and have little ones running around me talking in my other ear :001_smile:~

[MommyInTraining]

I'm not necessarily bored, just friendless. :-)

 

 

Yes, I think that is part of the issue here...

[Lovedtodeath]

Terri, you sound so much like me! I sure wish we lived close to each other.

 

I think the word you are looking for is unfulfilled. I get that feeling a lot. It seems all I do is hold a grouchy toddler all day and there are so many things that I feel are important that I don't do.

[Lovedtodeath]

So, I guess I just need to put MORE energy into my children and find more fulfillment in my interaction with them!

Yes. That's part of my problem too. I try to do what I want and then I don't do that b/c of constant kid interruptions, but then I never get around to doing what they want either.

 

I am not making any sense. I need to go to bed. :lol:

[tex-mex]

(LOL) After teaching full time from 1986-1999, and then working part-time as a K-6 sub/3rd-12th grade tutor/K-5 computer teacher from 2000-2004... I LOVE BEING AT HOME!

 

I do not miss working long hours and the stress. I truly enjoy being able to be with my family and serve them the best I can as wife, mother, and homeschooler. :001_smile:

 

Don't get me wrong... there are times when cabin fever hits and you get out of the house and do something fun. Son and I have a rare genetic liver disorder that almost killed my son 5 years ago (he was in a coma) and is now the prime reason we homeschool. I love my son and hubby! I am a true homebody... love being with them, cooking for them, cleaning, sewing, gardening, reading, etc. I find nowadays how fast kids grow up. In a few short years, my teen will be out of the nest.

 

Enjoy it while you can. Find a interest like www.meetup.com or adult hobby to keep you sane -I attend a quilting group and reading group via Meetup.com- find your happiness and love your family!

Edited May 11, 2009 by tex-mex

[SherryTX]

(LOL) After teaching full time from 1986-1999, and then working part-time as a K-6 sub/3rd-12th grade tutor/K-5 computer teacher from 2000-2004... I LOVE BEING AT HOME!

 

I do not miss working long hours and the stress. I truly enjoy being able to be with my family and serve them the best I can as wife, mother, and homeschooler. :001_smile:

 

Don't get me wrong... there are times when cabin fever hits and you get out of the house and do something fun. Son and I have a rare genetic liver disorder that almost killed my son 5 years ago (he was in a coma) and is now the prime reason we homeschool. I love my son and hubby! I am a true homebody... love being with them, cooking for them, cleaning, sewing, gardening, reading, etc. I find nowadays how fast kids grow up. In a few short years, my teen will be out of the nest.

 

Enjoy it while you can. Find a interest like www.meetup.com or adult hobby to keep you sane -I attend a quilting group and reading group via Meetup.com- find your happiness and love your family!

 

Tex-Mex - you took the words right off my keyboard!

Meetup is great for finding friends - I actually run two right now - one I recently took over is a home schooling one (I am attending my first event with my 9 year old this coming week), and the other is a professional one - but I am getting rid of that soon because I have decided to transition out of that profession so I don't want to lead it anymore.

 

But here is the thing - yes, throwing yourself into taking care of and educating your kids is important. But remember: you existed BEFORE you had kids - and will exist AFTER they are old enough to do a lot of things for themselves. There are a lot of Meetup.com groups across the country - if you could just find one that is a group that shares some of your interests - that is a start. Even if you could only get out one time a month, that can do a lot for you. Besides Meetup groups, there are also other groups managed through Yahoo! Groups, even on FaceBook and other sites. If you belong to a church, maybe they have something to offer as well.

 

Fulfilling one's responsibilities to our children is one thing - but we should never forget that living through our children is not truly living. I think one of the other posters here said it well when she said you sound like maybe you may be feeling unfulfilled. I write this, because I have known quite a few moms that have expressed these feelings as well. You do need to find something for yourself - something you can do, or friends you can make, adults you can chat with, etc.

 

In fact - make it sort of a game, or a challenge for yourself. Make a goal to locate 2 or 3 groups within in the next month or so to check out.

[Snickerdoodle]

When my kids were little I used to put the little one in the stroller and the bigger one on a bike and then walk (briskly) around the neighborhood. It's amazing what a little exercise and sunshine can do for the soul.

[Karen sn]

I get bored.

 

I only have two kids (6 and 4 yo) so I don't really have advice for someone with 5 kids.

 

I was bored out of my MIND yesterday. Hubby had all sorts of things to do, so he was happily puttering along. My job for the day: watch the kids, like I do all the other 364 days of the year. I was soooo bored.

 

The thing that makes me less bored is to have a strong schedule that we stick to. M-F I'm not as bored because we're homeschooling and doing our Flylady cleaning together.

 

Today I was starting to get bored again, and since it was Mother's Day, I pulled out the Mother's Day Card and told hubby I was going to the movies. Alone. It was a nice break. But as soon as I got home, I felt bored again.

 

Yes....but boredom spurred you to go out alone.

It was good.

I too was bored for Mother's Day (for 5 minutes) and I totally loved it.

I haven't been bored out of my mind in years.

I am jealous of you.

 

But I get the whole 364 days....

yah, when ya say it like that.....

I get it.

I am actually looking forward to going back into nursing when this baby is older.

[Mom0012]

Hi Terri -

 

I only have 2, but I remember very clearly going through periods of boredom when they were little. When you have babies and toddlers, you have to watch them every minute, but there isn't always anything interesting happening, right? You can't just sit down and read a book or get involved in anything because you will be interrupted every few minutes. I can remember trying to clean out my kitchen cabinets and being so frustrated because I couldn't do it without 1,000 interruptions from my 2 year old and infant. I just needed to be able to work on a project and finish it, and it wasn't possible then. Those can be tough days. I have lots of wonderful memories of those days as well, but I totally understand where you are coming from.

 

I think something that helped me then was trying to structure the day as much as possible. I'm not saying I always stuck with it, but when I did the days went better. What about getting a double jogging stroller for your two littlest ones and just stepping outside your door and going for a short walk? Would that be possible? Just getting out of the house for a short while can make things seem better. When my kids were little, we were probably at the playground 2 - 3 hours a day. Honestly, I couldn't be productive at home and the kids were so much happier when we were out. There were also always lots of moms there to talk to and that made things a lot nicer for me.

 

Lisa

[TraceyS/FL]

I'm not necessarily bored, just friendless. It's not that I don't have people to talk with, it's just that I don't have a "real" friend. You know, someone who would still check in with you if you weren't in activities together. I was talking to my one real friend, my mom, and I told her ....it's something you imagine being a normal part of your life...that best friend who might actually go to lunch or the movies every once in a while.... without kids...

Oh Well, at some season of my life...I'd like a true friend again...

:-)

 

:iagree: Oh this.... this is what i struggle with. My best friend lives 3000 miles away - i've struggled meeting people here with the hours my STBXH has been gone from the house the past few years.

 

But overall no, i'm happy being able to be home wiht my kids.

[Carrie12345]

I LOVE being "stuck" at home... most of the time.

 

I volunteer on a community committee once a month, and I raid book sales about once a month. I also try to visit my grandmother once a month. I could be happy skipping all of the other errands and activities!

 

At home, I'm surrounded by books, crafty projects, pets, gardening tasks, and 4 exuberant children. I have my phone, the internet, and my TiVo :D. I have dh. I have chores :glare:. I have thoughts and ideas.

 

Yes, I do lose sight of all of that from time to time, and then I start to plan a whole bunch of outside activities. Once those get going, I remember how much I love my little cocoon and my freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want to!

[musicianmom]

Hi Terri -

 

I only have 2, but I remember very clearly going through periods of boredom when they were little. When you have babies and toddlers, you have to watch them every minute, but there isn't always anything interesting happening, right? You can't just sit down and read a book or get involved in anything because you will be interrupted every few minutes. I can remember trying to clean out my kitchen cabinets and being so frustrated because I couldn't do it without 1,000 interruptions from my 2 year old and infant. I just needed to be able to work on a project and finish it, and it wasn't possible then. Those can be tough days. I have lots of wonderful memories of those days as well, but I totally understand where you are coming from.

 

THIS is my life. My 3-year-old is easy, but my 1-year-old? I feel like I spend a good part of my day just watching her to make sure she doesn't injure herself or damage anything. And yeah, that's pretty boring. No amount of willpower is going to keep me from feeling like I'm about to fall asleep.

[cbollin]

Well, I see you have fewer children than myself. There isn't a whole lot of time in my day to invest in developing skills and interests. And a long conversation on the phone? :001_huh:

 

Thanks for sharing though!

 

Well, there's always time for posting and reading forums like this to be long conversations, eh? :lol: I know. That wasn't quite the same because we can talk at odd times of the day. right?

 

I also have fewer children than you and most of my kids are now older than most of yours. Let me assure you, this is just a season. Hang in there! (hug)

 

How to find contentment, when you feel resentment in the season you are in? (warning: Christian content follows, But I know that Terri is a Christian, so.....)

 

Have you ever considered going through Neil Anderson's Victory over the Darkness, and really beginning to make sure you know who you are in Christ?

 

It's not an easy book to go through, but he has lots of good stuff about those red flags of emotions.

 

But here's a quick link to some of the affirmations you'll find in that book

Who am I in Christ

try to go through the ones called I am Significant for those days when you are "bored" and feeling less than significant for being a steward of the people that God has given you.

 

Yes, Terri, it is a hard season. Another neat book that I've read and didn't expect to like was Michael Farris's Spiritual Power of a Mother, Encouragement for the Homeschooling Mom. I didn't expect to like the book, but it is what it says: encouragement!

 

well, time for me to clean the house some more.

 

take care sweetie

 

-crystal

[mazakaal]

I don't get bored with being at home because I can always find something to do. But I do go a little stir-crazy with no adult conversation. I'm not really a phone person - at least I don't have a lot of people local to call and chat with - but (I know some may judge me for this, but I'm saying it anyway) I've really enjoyed getting on Facebook. I have contact with people that I love dearly, but live far away. Just the brief updates and messages with them makes me feel connected and helps me to not feel so isolated.

 

Also I've found that getting playdates for my kids has been a big help. We've recently been able to have kids over to play on a regular basis, and it keeps my kids more content and occupied than if they're on their own. Happier kids make for a happier mom.

[Karen sn]

Just getting out of the house for a short while can make things seem better. When my kids were little, we were probably at the playground 2 - 3 hours a day. Honestly, I couldn't be productive at home and the kids were so much happier when we were out. There were also always lots of moms there to talk to and that made things a lot nicer for me.

 

Lisa

 

 

Yes. Getting outside makes all the difference.

You can corral them in a park.

Nothing in the house is getting messy and yet they are running around and letting loose the energy.

 

Kids need to ground their energy. We all do.

I remember a sitter in Alaska.

She'd bundle up those 6 kids so they could get out for half an hour or more.

Outside is a cure for almost anything that ails.

[Karen sn]

No amount of willpower is going to keep me from feeling like I'm about to fall asleep.

 

Just wait.

I don't know if it's just me - but boys are the busiest babies I have ever known.

My dd was content to sit on a blanket.

Crawl every once in a while to start.

 

This baby boy has never sat on his own.

He is so forward momentum that he just army crawls, climbs EVERYTHING, and stands.

I now believe my boyfriend's mom and her stories of him climbing out of everything. Walking at 9 months. Etc.....

 

No wonder you are tired. 2 babies all day and a boy in the belly.

All I did was sleep the 1st 3 months of my pregnancy with ds.

My 10/11 yo was pretty self reliant while I snoozed.

[LibraryLover]

You may be experiencing fatigue more than boredom, perhaps? The years may be short, but the days are long & exhausting when you are caring for little ones. (One of mine was born with a birth defect and sent some years in a pack on my back. I had very good abdominal muscles then. lol)

 

I am the kind of person who loves to be home, but it wasn't always true. As a younger person, I thought one had to be out and doing to be engaged. Running around etc. However that changed when I became a parent and was forced to slow down to the pace of my children. We started to garden, we started to bake bread, I read even more than I had, I got chickens (later), I learned to knit. I started to have people over for dinner more often. We thought in terms of board games and family movies instead of going out. We thought in terms of walks and bike rides as oppsoed to driving.

 

When the children were really tiny and the walls seemed they were closing in during long winters, I did plan outings:

 

Library (with a children's area).

 

Coffee with friends at a child friendly place (amazingly, Panera is welcoming, and if it's not lunch time, it's pretty calm.) There is a local cafe that is also welcoming to our little group.

 

Playgroup, usually in the form of La Leche League Meetings, once week. (Meetings are once a month, but some of us met once a week to play and chat).

 

Zoo or Children's Museum-- at least once a month, even if cold. Layers and hats and warm boots are important.

 

That took care of the social piece for us, and the rest of the time was spent in personal interests. Reading, cooking, art, knitting, gadening, blogging (that came later lol), study, caring for animals (I highly recommend chickens), book group with meat once a month with friends etc. I also have several hsing friends with older kids who work at least 1/2 time or do volunteer work. Sometimes needs and interest do take us out of our homes and that is also ok.

 

Today some hsing friends are getting together to knit while the kids play. We take turns holding babies and running after toddlers so mothers can cast on or fix mistakes.

 

Give yourself some time and learn to respect your own interests.

Edited May 11, 2009 by LibraryLover

[swellmomma]

It's not that I get bored, it's that go stir crazy some days. I am completely unfullfilled. I used to wrok outside of the home and I knew it wasn't for me, I prefer to be home. BUT my home is so chaotic that I nevr have a minute to get my thoughts together kwim. Add having zero friends in the mix and well it makes for some very hairy days. Today I want nothing more than to get out of the house, Austin is having a bad day, he has been fighting with everyone since 6 am, at 8 am he ran off so waiting for him to cool off and come back, and I realized we forgot his meds at grandma's last night. Isabelle woke up with a fever so we are not going anywhere. The dryer is broken so clothes are strung up all over the house. The bathtub faucets broke so my dad started repairs but needed more parts so it has been disconnected all week so I have been washing myself in the kitchen sink for a week so no soaks in the tub to relax. There is tons to do so it is not a feeling of boredom, so much as a feeling of jsut wanting to get out and leave my house for a few hours and forget about everything here but can't with a sick toddler.

 

I think part of my problem and it is the part I am working hard to fix right now, is my own thoughts on it. While I grieved when I found out my kids had SN and needed me home, because they would never be the kids I daydreamed they would be kwim, I never actually grieved or gave up on what I thought our family should look like/be/do so I keep getting let down because my kids can not be who I think they should be in the family unit, and I am not living up to my part either because I keep failing to consider my needs which has led to health issues etc. This is the part I am working on right now, my own self talk, and perceptions of what my family unit is supposed to be.

 

I think when I find more balance and accept the kids for who they are not who I want them to be I will find more peace here at home rather than feeling discontent all the time.

[Elizabeth Conley]

I'm an introvert, so being at home doesn't bother me. Dealing with people, even dearly loved people, 24/7 exhausts me and makes me irritable.

 

My kids are 10-12 now, so about once every 2 weeks I spend an evening in my room alone. I leave them in charge of the dinner dishes and encourage them to select appropriate activities until bedtime. I read and maybe even watch a movie that isn't appropriate for their age group or doesn't interest them. Sometimes I sew. The kids answer the phone if it's for them, I answer the phone if it's my husband. All other calls are ignored.

 

The kids understand that I love them, but I need the break. I come out at bedtime to give them hugs and tell them how wonderful they are.

 

When the kids were younger I dropped them off at a professional day care for a few hours a week. This was a less than ideal solution, but we were living over seas and my husband traveled constantly. (Still does.) Any way, I believe in mental health breaks. As hard as it may be, staying sane is important.

 

My parents will be taking our children for a weekend this month so that we can spend time together. This we think of as "marital maintenance time". We probably won't do anything glamorous. This month marks our 26th wedding anniversary, and next month marks my parent's 49th. We all take "marital maintenance" seriously.

 

I suggest you find a way to get what you need to protect your sanity and your most critical relationships. The kids may suffer a mildly uncomfortable moment or two in the process, but they're still better off than they would be watching you fall apart. What an individual needs to stay sane varies from person to person. These differences don't invalidate anyone's needs. To the contrary, sanity matters!

[HeatherLynn]

No, actually I quite love it. I was a single mom for a few years and a working & in college Mom, and then a full time working Mom and now that I get to be home I LOVE it. Even when there is nothing to do but enjoying nothing (although, I can always pick up a book or something). I joke that I have become such a homebody. I used to be SO social. Now, I just don't care much for going and doing. It's more relaxing at home for me.

[Lovedtodeath]

Terri, you sound so much like me! I sure wish we lived close to each other.

 

You know, now that I think about it, that probably wouldn't make any difference, and that is a big source of my discontentment. I am always overwhelmed with household duties that can only be done in short spurts throughout the day. It takes me 2 hours to get all of us out of the house. It seems one of us is sick half the time. The car breaks down. My mom lives 15 minutes away and my plan was to be with her for at least 2 days a week, but sometimes almost 3 weeks goes by that I don't see her.

 

::Sigh::

[Elizabeth Conley]

Loved to Death,

 

It takes me 2 hours to get all of us out of the house. It seems one of us is sick half the time.

 

My kids were that age once. I remember that time well. My son has a medical condition that lent itself to near constant upper respiratory and ear infections when younger. My husband traveled the world and brought home exotic germs from every trip. We were always ill. The silver lining was that we lived in a tropical country. I realized it wasn't unreasonable for me to take the kids outside, because it was temperate. They could fall asleep practically anywhere. I slathered them with sunscreen and took them out, sick or not. We went to the beach and up into the mountains. I explored every remote Historically or ecologically significant place I could, lugging the sniffling kids along in a backpack and snugli. I didn't expose other people to our illnesses, but we got out almost every day, sick or not.

 

If there's a way to get out, I'd do it. Ask yourself if it's really going to harm the sick child to go out, or if someone will be exposed to the illness if you go to the destination you have in mind. If the kid will be no worse off for being taken out, and no one will be exposed, there's no reason for you not to go.

[Rosy]

I know how you feel--completely. It's better now that my youngest is 4, it's a lot better. But when the kids were little (I have 4 kids about 18 mo. apart, so my oldest was barely 4 when the youngest was born) it was really tough. For me, it wasn't being at home that was so hard. It was my inability to sustain a conversation (or even a prolonged thought process), my inability to complete a task, the need to be constantly attentive without ever being fully engaged. You can't focus your attention on any one thing/person for any length of time because the others need constant attention. And being in the PNW (I'm in the Seattle area), playing in the backyard isn't always an option.

 

How do you find contentment in it...I didn't (don't) always. I really struggle(d) with it. At my best, I would remind myself that I wouldn't be there forever. I developed hobbies that I could do for a few minutes at a time that didn't require me to be completely mentally engaged. I spent time online. I learned to love my home. I insisted on an hour or two in the afternoon when the kids were having quiet time in their rooms--they napped when they were little, but now we still have it and they'll finish school work or play quietly. And I try to do things that challenge my intellect--take study-intensive Bible studies, listen to talk radio & follow the news, read when I can.

 

For me, God is the source of my contentment. I would (and do) pray that God would help me to be a happy mom and be a cheerful giver to my kids, that I would make our home into a place that gives God glory, that I could be a blessing to my husband, etc. Again, I really struggled when my kids were little and still do somewhat. But when I'm keeping my perspective that this is my job and my highest calling and look for ways to honor God in it, I do better.

[SheWillFly]

I can't say I was ever bored. I was lonely at times but not bored. With littles there was always something to do whether I wanted to or not. There wasn't always another adult to talk to when I wanted.

[KellyinPA]

If you can try to remember that this is only a "season" in your life. It may seem like a LONG season, understandably.;) My kids are 27, 25, 22, 17, 7 and 7 so I have a perspective from several different childraising seasons.

 

With my first three sons, I had three under five, a dh who worked 6 LONG days a week and only only vehicle which was a stick shift that I could not operate and wouldn't take the three kids in the car with me to learn how. So talk about togetherness:). The boys and I were together all the time and even on dh's one day off we had to run all our errands together because I could not drive the car. Praise God, it was a just a season:)

 

As the boys got older and we added our daughter in the mix, things got a little easier. The boys were actually able to help and we were able to get a second vehicle so I could get out with the kids or by myself without dh. The boys got older still, middle school/high school age and my daughter was turning 10, life was getting really easy. Evidently, a little TOO easy because we were now blessed with twin boys:lol: Back to sleepless nights, continuous nursing and pretty much home all the time. It was quite a while before I felt like I could even manage to take them to church. But, by the grace of God, we made it through that too and now life is getting "easy" again.

 

All this to say that what I have learned is to ask the Lord to help me be content in the season I'm in. If I'm constantly looking forward to the next season, I'll miss the joys of this one. And even though it doesn't seem like it at the time, it does go fast. To add the the great practical advice you've received already, try a change of scenery when things start to get to you. Just outside for a while can be helpful. Maybe plan one day to go out to the library, park, zoo whatever. It will give all of you something to look forward to. We have an hour to hour and a half mandatory rest time for the weekdays that we are home. They need a break from each other and I just need a break:)

 

Hope that you found something helpful here and to encourage you in high calling as a wife and mother.